Monday, December 31, 2007


Rice +29.5 @ Texas A&M
Marshall -3 vs. San Diego
Drexel +9 vs. Temple

Yesterday: 3-3
Season: 166-138

Gopher Hockey Still Sucks

After showing signs of turning the corner three weeks ago in Grand Forks the Gophers came crashing back to earth this past weekend at the Mariucci Classic. The glass half full fans will say that the Gophers where out manned this weekend because of the WJHC. That argument could have been used on Sunday night had the Gophers been playing a good team like Boston College. Instead the Gophers played two shit teams in RIT and Air Force and only managed a tie. The fans who actually have a clue and live in a world with a sun, clouds and rational thinking will say this Gopher team is a heartless, below average team who looks to be mailing in the season at this point. Never a good thing in December!

The effort level at Mariucci on Sunday night resembled the attendance, half ass. With the stands just over 50% full the Gopher responded with about the same effort level. The atmosphere sucked, both teams sucked and if I hadn’t been drinking with W since noon I would have left and driven home after the 2nd period. I figured I would do the streets of Minneapolis a favor and sober up a bit longer before jumping back in the mini with my LT jersey on and white knuckling it 35 miles home. W, please tell me again why you chose to meet at Monte’s in SLP????

It is getting harder and harder to watch this team play. The first line of Wheeler, Barriball and Gordon continue to work hard and generate scoring chances, but none of them can score on a consistent basis. Wheeler missed a wide open net in the first couple of minutes of the game and Barriball also missed a wide open net in the 2nd period that would have put the Gophers up 2-1. Ben Gordon had several chances in front of the net but has decided the best way to try and beat a goaltender is by shooting the puck directly into the logo on his jersey. I am not sure I would take this approach to scoring, but Gordon has been doing it all season so there must be some reasoning to his approach.

The 2nd best line for the Gophers was Tom Pohl- Drew Fischer- and whoever else filled in with them. Fischer had several chances in front of the net and Pohl did a good job of working hard and getting in Air Forces way all night. Hot Rocking Tommy Pohl even scored the Gophers 2nd goal of the game. I can now say I saw Bo Jackson hit the longest home run in the history of the Metro Dome, Dave Winfield get his 3000 hit, Cal Ripken get his 3000 hit (Dawger why did you not applaud this again???), the Gophers win a Frozen Four game and Tom Pohl score a goal in an actual game. How many people can say that? Also, did you know there is a rumor that Dave Winfield gave herpes to both Robin Givens and Robin’s mother.....fascinating.

The line of Howe, White and Hoeffel where a complete joke all night. It looks like Howe has been bitten by the curse of the Dawger. After Dawger proclaimed Howe as "his guy", Howe’s play has gone right into a spiraling vortex. Both Howe and Gino Guyer would like to personally thank Dawger for his curse during their senior year.

As usual the Gophers defense could do nothing with the puck. Their outlet passes where poor and often times put players in poor position for support passes. Only once or twice did a defender ever leave the blue line when the puck got in deep and when a defender did go to the net it was Peltier. WWWWW, Peltier going to the net is the equivalent of Kevin Payton driving down the lane, just not as athletic. This is never a good thing. David Fischer did play well in the defensive end but still can not generate anything in the offensive end of the ice. This is probably a good thing because it will hopefully mean he is be back in 2008-09. Unless Montreal realizes it is Lucia’s fault Fischer hasn’t developed offensively, then they might force his hand to leave school. Stu Bickel continued to play well and physical but that was the lone bright spot for the defenders.

In conclusion, the Gophers are a complete disaster right now. The one thing the Gophers have going for them is the WCHA is really down this year. The two Colorado teams have basically locked up the #1 and #2 seeds in the conference. Literally ever other team has a legitimated shot at finishing in the top half of the WCHA. Wayne State is coming to town this coming weekend. If the Gophers do not sweep Wayne State Mariucci should be boarded up for the remainder of the season. Literally, if Wayne State manages a point in either game the school needs to halt the program, refund all ticket money, revoke all scholarships, fire the coaching staff and board up that no atmosphere arena.

Side Note- North Dakota split again this weekend and got shelled for 7 goals on Saturday. At least the Gophers can say they have poor talent this year. UND sucks with supposedly the most talent in the history of college hockey. I think god is punishing them for being racist.
2008-09 can not come fast enough.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

I has some Picks

And a massive hangover. But I'm going to go ahead and drink with $nake today anyway.

Go me.

UNLV -2.5 vs. Minnesota (W)
UC-Irvine -4 @ Harvard (L)
Georgia Tech -4 vs. Florida State (L)
Northern Colorado +9 @ Northern Arizona (L)
Air Force +12 @ Wake Forest (W)
Montana St +7 @ Oregon State

Yesterday: 6-6
Season: 163-135

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Circle me Bert

So I've been asked by some very important people to take a look at the Bert Blyleven for the hall of fame discussion. The kind of people you don't say no to. So, of course, I will tackle it the way I always look at difficult issues: Drunk. Still drinking. Semi-coherent while I flip between the Pats/Giants and Arizona/Memphis. The only true way to evaluate anything.

Also please let the Patriots lose. I don't even care if they go ahead and win the stupid super bowl after this, just don't let those homos go undefeated.

So anyway, going into this Bert has a huge strike against him for the whole "Circle me Bert thing." It's just stupid. And, I am very sad to admit, my mother has been circled twice. She's stupid that way. Although when we flew down to Texas on a free trip to watch the Twins, Bert was really nice to my family. Not like that son-of-a-bitch Jeff Reardon. Enjoy prison, dumb fuck!

So, before getting into the stats, my impression of Bert is a very good pitcher for a very long time. Never considered the best at his position at any time, but always very good. He's basically the very definition of a borderline hall of famer. There are two arguments I'd like to dismiss right now:

1) He was never considered the best at his position: I would love to know how the F this is relevant. At all. You know who was the absolute, undisputed, most kick ass pitcher in the world and it wasn't even close in 1984 - Dwight Gooden. Does he deserve to be in? Guess who led the AL in ERA in 1988? Alan Anderson. Should he be in this conversation? Just a stupid argument and stop using it.

2) He has a "signature pitch." Really? You mean that hanging curve that gave up an all-time record 50 homeruns in 1986 and followed it up with 46 in '87? Stupid. You know who else had a great curveball? A billion other guys. The only reason you hear about Bert's stupid curveball all the time is because he announces Twins games and he can't stop talking about himself.

Ok, now that that is out of the way, let's see what we really have here by looking at what really matters, the numbers. Let's look at the most meaningless, but to many people most meaningful, stat: wins. Bert clocks in at 287 wins against 250 losses. Ouch. Those who are in love with the wins will tell you that you need 300 to get in. Not good for our buddy Bert.

Now, strikeouts, which are a pretty big deal, Bert ranks fifth. The top 17 players all are either in the hall or will be in the hall, if Schilling and Smoltz (and Clemens after the whole cheating thing) get in. That's some pretty good evidence.

I think the booze is hitting me hard because I had A LOT to say about this but now I can't seem to remember anymore, so I'll sum up quick:

Bert's strikeouts, complete games, ERA+ of 118, and WHIP of 1.20 over his career pretty clearly indicate he's a hall of fame caliber pitcher. The people not voting for him, I will almost guarantee, are doing it because he doesn't have 300 wins, which is a terribly retarded reason for not voting for someone. I realize stats like strikeouts and complete games are compiling type stats, which I ripped Brett Favre for, but in my defense, Favre is a raging homosexual.

Before I pass out in a haze of unremembering, I'd like to point out something blatantly stolen from Fire Joe Morgan - Blyleven had a ERA+ of 133 or better six times. Jack Morris = never. Or, in idiot terms, Morris never ever ever ever had an ERA less than 3. Blyleven did. Nine times.

Blyleven should seriously be in the hall. If anything should keep him out, it's his career save total of zero.

Tom Brady is also gay. I've seen it.

I bet the kentucky faithful blame this on Tubby

The King

Over at From the Barn, the Iowa Hawkeye Preview mentions Chris Kingsbury a couple of times. It's unclear whether these comments are positive or negative, but I choose to take them as negative, because that's just the kind of guy I am. It spurred me to find out whatever happened to The King, as he was one of my favorite players - a clear sufferer of ASSWiPe Syndrome. Even though it was a mistake, it doesn't mean I can't look back fondly - much like that Mexican hooker.

There are a few articles about Kingsbury, but the most recent one I found is from The Omaha World-Herald. It turns out he is currently a vice president at a bank in a small Nebraska town, although he rips it up in the rec league (as seen above).

Kingsbury was a shooter, and had crazy range to go along with the crazy way he played. He would pretty much shoot from anywhere at anytime, including a 40 footer in a tie game against the Gophers with 30 seconds left which he airballed. He was also pretty much a dick, getting suspended four games over his career for unsportsmanlike conduct - as well as being cited for trespassing and public intoxication off the court.

He decided to leave after his junior, Rickert-like, and was undrafted. He hooked on with the Bullets - yes, Bullets - getting cut 3 months later, followed by the CBA, followed by Italy and then the IBL. He had an opportunity in Argentina but chose to stay home with his wife and give up the basketball dream. Which is kind of funny because they're divorced now, and you know she made him quit.

Naturally, Kingsbury doesn't take any of the blame for his fallen career, as this quote shows, "Could it have unfolded differently? I think I could have been supported by the university more, but they didn't take that approach. I can name 100 examples of guys that did things twice as bad as me where the university spoke out in favor of them. But hey, that's not their job, I guess." Classy.

Actually, I found his stats, and he wasn't even all that good. Averaged 8.1, 16.8, and 11.9 points per game in his three seasons, and did little else. Of his career 908 shot attempts, 645 of them were three pointers. That's an astonishing 71% of his attempts that were three pointers. To put that in prospective, Voshon Lenard, who drove me crazy by shooting three after three instead of driving, shot just 47% of his attempts from beyond the arc.

So, in retrospect, there's really zero reason I should have considered this guy a favorite. ASSWiPe Syndrome at it's worst. I'm lucky I finally broke free.

Evansville -2 vs. Indiana St (L)
Kentucky -12.5 vs. San Diego (L)
Alabama -12 vs. George Washington (W)
Eastern Washington +7.5 vs. UCSB
James Madison -11.5 vs. South Carolina State (L)
Texas -7.5 vs. Wisconsin (L)
Washington +5 @ LSU (W)
Tennessee +1.5 @ Gonzaga (W)
Memphis -9.5 vs. Arizona (W)
WVU -8.5 vs. Oklahoma (L)
Pitt -2.5 @ Dayton (L)
Cal -13.5 vs. NDSU (W)
CS-Fullerton +12.5 @ St. Marys (W)

and also i'm drunmk again. is it weird that's it's only 6pm

Yesterday: 6-1
Season: 157-129

Friday, December 28, 2007

We're Going to San Antonio!

Well, it's pretty clear the Gophers are on their way to the Final Four and beyond in 2008. After the 45 point win over Nicholls State (a win so thorough Travis Busch managed to score six points), there's no doubt the Gophers are the #1 team in the country.

The current #1 team, North Carolina, has also played Nicholls State. The Tarheels won by 10 AT HOME, while the Gophers won by 45 at a neutral site. Thus, the Gophers are 450% better than North Carolina. If you're curious, this means the Gophers would beat Kentucky by 40, Ohio State by 49, and Nevada by 162. And North Carolina would lose to Florida State by 63.

If you don't buy that the polls are a good representation of who is the best (and I agree), let's look at who is best mathematically, using RPI. The leader in RPI is Arizona. Well, the Gophers are pretty clearly still the best here as well. Arizona was defeated by Virginia who was defeated by Seton Hall who was beaten by St. Mary's who was beaten by Southern Illinois who beat St. Louis who beat Detroit who defeated Central Michigan who the Gophers beat by 18.

It's really quite simple.

Mariucci Classic

The Gopher Hockey Team returns from their holiday/finals break this weekend to host the annual Mariucci Classic. For some reason the games are being played on Saturday and Sunday instead of the normal Friday/Saturday schedule. The Classic starts with Boston College playing Air Force followed by the Gophers vs something called RIT.

The Gophers will be extremely short handed this weekend with three players playing in the World Jr. Hockey Championships and Okposo ("sellout!" "quiter!") leaving the team. Okposo is also playing in the WJHC so his departure will have no effect on this weekends roster. The three current Gophers who will be missing this weekend are Carman, Flynn and Fairchild (baby dawger). Future Gopher Jordan Schroeder (08-09) is also playing in the WJHC. Justin Bostrom is suppose to be returning from his hand injury this weekend which will leave the Gophers 17 skaters for the weekend.

As long as the Gophers can play solid 5 v 5 hockey this weekend they will be O.K.. Their power play is going to struggle with their QB (fairchild) gone and Okposo no longer on the team. That isn't saying much since it has struggled all year with those two playing. I would guess you will see Wheeler, Barriball and Gordon on the 1st unit with a Peltier and Werhs running the point. The second unit will be some combination of Howe (mad dog's guy)/Lucia/White/Hoeffel up top with Fischer and Fischer running the point. The second unit wouldn't strike fear in a MIAC game. Where the Gophers can really get themselves in trouble is by playing short handed this weekend. Killing a bunch of penalties will kill their legs and that spells trouble with only 17 skaters.

We will most likely see a Kangas/Frazee split in goal this weekend unless Saturdays goalie plays lights out. I just checked and Frazee still sucks!

The Gophers should still manage to pull out a victory vs RIT on Saturday, but will most likely struggle vs Boston College on Sunday (that is assuming both teams win saturday). Boston College will be playing with a full roster as they lost no players to the WJHC team.
My prediction. Saturday, Gophers 4 - RIT 2 and BC 5- Air Force 1. Sunday, Air Force 4 - RIT 2 and BC 5 - Gophers 2.

Saturdays game versus RIT will be tape-delayed on FSN, and will air following the Wild game at around 10 p.m. Sundays game, either for the championship if they knock off RIT or for third place if they fall to the Tigers, will air live at 7 p.m. on FSN.

Here's looking forward to two weeks of crap hockey as the Gophers will be shorthanded vs mighty Wayne State next weekend also!

Bad Santa

A couple of things after watching some TV last night:

1. I watched a couple of episodes of And 1 Streetball on ESPN2. I know, it's stupid, but I saw that one of the Streetballers this year is Kenny Brunner. If you don't remember Brunner, he played for Georgetown in the late 90's for a season and was a pretty good point guard before he got into more legal trouble than Stephen Jackson. He started 16 games for the Hoyas as a freshman, and then got kicked out of school and transferred to Fresno State, which at the time, was a haven for troubled basketball players looking to land somewhere - thanks to Tark.

Anyway, Brunner was never even to take the court for Tark, because he was arrested for beating up a former student and then holding him hostage using a SAMURAI SWORD. He was then picked up for assaulting the LA Community College Basketball Coach and robbing him at gunpoint. After all this, Brunner served just five months in jail, and enrolled at the College of Southern Idaho to play basktball. He didn't last the year, getting booted yet again, before the equally shady Jim Harrick offered him a scholarship to play at Georgia. However, the University President caught wind of it and said no, and Brunner's college career was over.

He then bounced around a bunch of summer leagues, playing very well, before finally ending up on the And1 Steetball team, and is now known as "Bad Santa" which is a horrible, horrible name. He's still getting into trouble, starting a near-riot at a game in Missouri. And knowing is half the battle.

2. At one point in the show, they are going to offer one of the players on the other team a contract after they play them, and for good money (that's "paper" in the hood). Well, the interview the guys talking about how much they want on the team, and one guy is saying how much he needs this because then his family will know where their next paycheck is coming from and he can pay his bills. Within the next five minutes, they show him checking out his email on one of those super fancy blackberry like cell phones with the full keypad and large screen. I seriously laughed out loud.

3. I know they are undefeated and just beat Nevada by 30, but North Carolina is overrated this year, and I expect them to not even make the final four. They have played, well, nobody. It's a more impressive schedule than the Gophers, of course, but really they haven't played another top team. The decent teams they have played are Davidson, BYU, Ohio St, and Kentucky. Nevada doesn't even count here seeing as they lost four starters off last year's team.

Davidson was a cute little underdog going into the season, but has been revealed as a complete fraud. Their best win this season is against freakin' Appalachian State, and they have losses to Western Michigan and Charlotte on the resume. BYU has beaten up on the bad teams, and beat Louisville, who is pretty overrated itself until Padgett gets back. Ohio State beat an inconsistent Syracuse team and an ok Florida team, but got destroyed by both Texas A&M and Butler. Kentucky has been pretty much a joke, with losses to UAB, Gardner-Webb, and Houston.

So four ok wins, but nothing really good. And they'll continue to roll, because the ACC is as bad as I can ever remember it this year. Maryland, Wake Forest, Virginia Tech, and Georgia Tech have a zero percent chance to make the tournament. UNC and Duke are good, and everybody else is mediocre at best. So UNC will roll through the regular season with three or less losses, and probably get a number one seed. This will be great because stupid people will pick them to get to the final four and even win the whole thing, and this will make it easier for me to win a bracket pool because it's obvious they will lose to someone like Xavier.

4. Seton Hall is garbage. I thought, with most of their team back, and a new coach in Bobby Gonzalez that they would be better. But they are really lazy. I noticed them standing around quite a bit on rebounds and loose balls. They suck.

5. My stalking knows no bounds, as I have located Rico Tucker's MySpace page. Warning: It's pretty obnoxious. Doesn't change the fact that he's awesome though.

6. Mark Prior is worthless. There's a reason he signed for only $1 million. He's DONE.

Ole Miss -7.5 vs. Southern Miss (W)
Butler -1.5 vs. Southern Illinois (W)
NDSU -4 vs. Bucknell (W)
Weber St -3.5 vs. San Francisco (W)
Northern Colorado -11 vs. Sac State (W)
Georgia Southern -3.5 @ Tex A&M-CC (W)
Siena +1.5 vs. St Joseph's (L)

Yesterday: 1-3
Season: 151-128

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Round Robin in the Desert

du·el /ˈduəl, ˈdyu-/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[doo-uhl, dyoo-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, -eled, -el·ing or (especially British) -elled, -el·ling.
1. a prearranged combat between two persons, fought with deadly weapons according to an accepted code of procedure, esp. to settle a private quarrel.
2. any contest between two persons or parties.

It's not a duel in the desert when there are four teams involved. It's a stupid name. It's not even a tournament, it's round robin. It's not on TV anywhere, and two of the four teams are at the bottom of the NCAA. Basically everything about this pisses me off, except for the test the Gophers will get against UNLV.

Nicholls State and Kennesaw State are pretty much not even worth previewing, as they are perennial bottom dwellers, even in their weak conferences. Nicholls does have a somewhat decent win at New Orleans earlier this year, and only lost by 10 at North Carolina. Looking at the rest of their resume however, at 4-8, shows some really bad losses which suggest those two positives were anomalies and not to be worried about. Kennesaw (2-8) is even worse, with that kind of record despite having only played one team from a big conference in Auburn. Gophers should win both games by 20.

UNLV is definitely a nice test, especially considering they are at home for this game. The Rebels are 8-3, and it's tough to know exactly what to make of them. They've lost their two biggest tests, at home against Arizona and at Louisville, but gave Arizona all they could handle and beat Nevada. They have taken care of business against lesser opponents, and I would probably rate them similar to the Gophers right now.

The Rebels were a sweet 16 team last year, as I predicted, but lost four starters from last season. The lone returner is excellent, and small, shooting guard Wink Adams, who the Gophers held to 3-12 shooting last season. Adams leads the team at 14.5 ppg this season, and is one of three guys in double digits. The other two top scorers are fellow returnees 6-7 forward Joe Darger (12.8) and 6-5 swingman Curtis Terry (12.0), who is also third in the MWC in assists at 4.2. The Rebels don't have a whole lot of size, and don't shoot particularly well (31% from 3) so this is certainly a winnable game for the Gophers.

The key to the game will be keeping UNLV off the boards, as despite their lack of size, they rebound well, good enough for third in their conference. Darger (6.0), Matt Shaw (4.5), Rene Rougeau (4.1), Adams (4.1), and 6-10 freshman Emmanuel Adeife (4.0) all average at least four per game, and another three players are getting at least three. They rebound well from all positions, so it's not just on Spencer and the big guys to help out.

Hope and optimism leads me to almost pick the Gophers here, but I don't think they've come quite that far yet. UNLV 66, Minnesota 61.

Nevada +21.5 @ UNC
Seton Hall -3 vs. NC State
New Mexico -6 @ Hawaii
Rider +2.5 @ Drexel

Yesterday: 1-0
Season: 150-125

God, I miss Vegas. I need to go back.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

There was a Point

Well, it's pretty clear that I was drinking heavily when I wrote that last post, as it started with a pretty clear point and got more and more rambling and incoherent as the night went on.

The point was that it is going to truly and epically suck if Santana gets traded and there's no Ellsbury involved, or the Yanks don't sweeten the offer. That is all.

Only one game tonight, but things get rolling again tomorrow.

Louisville -23.5 vs. Morehead State

Sunday: 2-0
Season: 149-125

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

This is Going to Suck

First of all, let's get the obvious out of the way and just state that I'm a loser before you comment-monkeys mention it. It's 11:50 on Christmas and I'm posting. Well, pregnant wife has to work at 6am tomorrow (it's a girl, FYI), so she's sleeping, and I have the day off. So I'm sitting here, drinking Captain Morgan (I know, right, it's like I'm a loser who is stuck in college so he still drinks captain), watching Superbad (again), and looking at some Santana trade information, and I don't like what I'm seeing.

Before I get into that though, I'd just like to say, again, that Superbad is freaking awesome. If you haven't seen it, see it immediately. If you don't find it funny, just go ahead and shoot yourself in the face.

So here's what I don't get about this Santana thing: nobody seems to really want him. First of all, the most baffling thing is that nobody other than the Red Sox and the Yankees have even gotten involved, or at least not seriously. follows rumors, but you can't go back further than nine reports because it seems the people who run that place are complete retards, so I can only go off memory. I remember seeing a rumor about the Mets, but it was more of a "no we won't include Reyes in a Santana trade" kind of rumor. And of course they effing wouldn't, but they still have the horses to get it done.

Two other teams with the money to sign him and the prospects to get him are the Angels and the Dodgers, but neither team made any kind of move. Seriously, on a national league team, he'd win MVP for sure. He'd go 29-2, 0.90 ERA and WHIP, and probably hit .340. Yet, no national league team has made a play for him. I really don't get it.

So it's down to the Yanks and Sox, and according to reports the Twins are going to get "best offers" sometime after the new year. And to be honest, the Yanks and Sox do not have best offers out there that make me at all happy. Wow, I did not put a lot of Coke in this drink. Anyway, the current offers are terrible. The latest Sox offer, which used to be my favorite, has now gone all to hell, as now Ellsbury is off the table as well as Buchholz. The new offer is Lester, Masterson, Lowrie, and Crisp. The best prospect in this is Lester, who has an upside of a #2 or #3 pitcher. I mean, it's three decent prospects and an established major leaguer, but is that really all that is coming for Santana?

I like Lowrie, because I like getting a shortstop so Harris can move to third and Punto doesn't start next season, even though I'm fairly certain Casilla is a big pile of crap anyway, but that package is not what I'd expect. I also don't give a crap about Crisp. Nice name, homo.

The Yankees offer right now is pretty clearly the best, based on Hughes being in the deal. Hughes rates as one of the top prospects in the majors, and has #1 potential. What I don't like about this, is the Hughes deal is him, Melky Cabrera, and "prospects." Well, if they aren't mentioned by name, they're probably meaningless. I figured a trade would be centered around Hughes, not essentially just Hughes. Cabrera is a "prospect" technically, but he's a crappy fielder who would be made worse with Young and Cuddyer flanking him, and not anything special as a hitter. I think his upside is a fourth outfielder, and it's just not enough for Santana.

I mean, I know he has to be traded, and likely has to be traded this offseason. I just don't understand why nobody seems to really want him. Boston won't include either of their two top prospects, and the Yankees will give their top guy, but wont' package him with anybody. If the Orioles would hurry the hell up and trade Erik Bedard, that might help. Bedard is number 2 in a trade market that is really only 2 deep (unless you think the A's will actually trade Blanton, then it's 3), and once he goes, Santana is the only one left and maybe that will spur some action.

This is just so frustrating, and honestly, other than Tubby coming to the Gophers, Minnesota is turning into a garbage state for sports. And spare me the whole Vikings could make the playoffs thing. You should be hoping they lose so they get a higher draft pick. That team has no shot to do anything in the postseason. Tavaris or Tarvaris or Travaris Jackson is a giant piece of crap. He's like a poor man's Vince Young, and that's saying something.

Did you see that Luis Castillo resigned with the Mets for over $6 mil per? $6 million a year for four years. The dude has only had an OPS+ over 100 three times in 9 full seasons, and not since '05. Essentially, he's a slightly below average second baseman, and he's getting $6+ per year. But he can get on base, so good for him. He's twenty billion times better of a leadoff guy than Juan Pierre. If there's no trade that helps out the infield, a signing is needed badly. Either Pedro Feilz or Morgan Ensberg would be ok at third, if the market doesn't price the Twins out, and Russ Branyan might be a decent fallback, as he should be cheap.

And I just found out the Twins signed Adam Everett to play short. I don't know why I don't know that, but I don't. Everett is essentially a giant piece of crap, and I have no idea why he was even signed. Sure, they needed to sign either a 3B or SS so Punto wouldn't start, but how is this a good idea? $3 million for one year to a guy with OPS+s of 70, 64, and 56 the last three years? Punto was a 52. So this douche is slightly better at hitting than Punto. That's like being slightly better than Corky at not being retarded. You're still retarded. What a stupid signing. God I hate the Twins.

In conclusion, Superbad is awesome. Oh, and my cousin called me an asshole at our Christmas get-together, so that was pretty sweet. She probably shouldn't have been so wrong that I had to call her on it. Get your shit together.


Monday, December 24, 2007

Merry F'ing Christmas

Merry Christmas, and I hate all of you.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

F you

I'm too drunk to post but i hate football i think i lost both my championshop games but i went 2-0 on basketball tonight so there. dummies.

aslo superbad rocks.

I'm Awesome

Yep, I'm awesome.

And Merry Christmas to all, please let Santa bring Dan Coleman some toughness, Spencer some coordination, McKenzie some aggression (but not as much as last year), Jonathan Williams some range, Kevin Payton some anything, and Hoffbauer and Shamala some defensive ability - although I noticed yesterday that Florida Super freshman Nick Calathes is possibly worse than either of them.

Wake Forest -1.5 vs. Virginia Tech
NC State -6 vs. Cincinnati

Yesterday: 10-4
Season: 147-125

Saturday, December 22, 2007


Decent bounceback day, going 4-3 plus hitting the bowl game.

Also, I'd just like to say that Superbad is completely and totally awesome, in every way. Go rent it.

Memphis -4 vs. Georgetown (W)
UCSB +22 @ North Carolina (L)
Valpo +12 @ Wisconsin (W)
Purdue -8 vs. Iowa St
Cleveland St -3 vs. Central Michigan (W)
Providence -3.5 vs. Florida St (W)
Washington -13 vs. CS-Northridge (W)
Niagara -4 vs. Marist (W)
Florida +6 @ Ohio St (L)
VCU +4.5 @ Bradley (W)
Alabama -1.5 vs. Missouri St (W)
Clemson -3 vs. Ole Miss (L)
Eastern Wash +4.5 vs. Portland St
St. Mary's -6.5 vs. Ohio

Yesterday: 4-3
Season: 137-121 Bowl: Cincinnati -11.5 vs. So Miss
New Mexico Bowl: New Mexico -2.5 vs. Nevada
Las Vegas Bowl: BYU -6.5 vs. UCLA

Bowls: 1-1

Friday, December 21, 2007

Garth Snow = Douche Bag

Below are a few of the comments Garth Snow had to say about Don Lucia, The Gophers Hockey Program and Kyle Okposo. All of the comments where taken from an article in todays Star Tribune.

New York Islanders General Manager Garth Snow on Thursday criticized Don Lucia's coaching, saying that was the reason sophomore Kyle Okposo is leaving the Gophers hockey program and negotiating a contract with the Islanders.
"Quite frankly, we weren't happy with the program there," Snow said in a telephone interview. "They have a responsibility to coach, to make Kyle a better player, and they were not doing that."

Asked for specifics, Snow said, "[Okposo] just wasn't getting better -- bottom line. And to me, that's the frustrating part. We entrusted the coach there to turn him into a better hockey player, and it wasn't happening. We feel more comfortable in him developing right under our watch."

Minnesota athletic director Joel Maturi, when told of Snow's comments, was dumbfounded.
"He must feel that somebody's angry," Maturi said. "And I can understand why; you took a kid from a team in the midst of the year and he's probably trying to justify it. And that's his right.
"It's my understanding they now have a roster spot for [Okposo] and therefore our coaching is bad. It doesn't make any sense to me."

Still, Snow didn't feel the Gophers were a right fit for Okposo.
"It's well-known in hockey circles that the situation for college players is to develop and get better," Snow said. "And quite frankly, it's a big responsibility for a college coach -- a program -- to handle these kids."Whether it was Kyle or another player, until things change in that program we'd probably make the same decision. There should be a coach there that looks in the mirror."

He was asked if he thought it was OK for a player to leave midway through a college season.
"I don't think we'd be at this point if he was being coached properly," Snow said.

Snow then responded "he'll get better coaching" when asked what Okposo would get in the Islanders system.

Basically my thoughts on all of this are as follows. Garth Snow is a classless idiot. What is actually taking place is the NHL and Islanders are taking a ton of heat for plucking Okposo off his team in the middle of the season. Garth Snow is now trying to justify that move by blaming it on Lucia. How is Okposo going to receive better coaching from the coaches in New York. Name the last player that New York developed into a star??? Thats right, you can't.

Although I sometimes question Lucia you can't argue what he has done as a college coach. 2 national champions, 1 runner-up, 500+ coaching victories, 4 or 5 WCHA titles and countless all-americans. Most of those numbers where also accomplished at Colorado College and Alaska Fairbanks. Both of those programs where Ruddy Ducks (bottom feeders) before he arrived on campus. All of that sounds like a guy who can't coach. To put this in terms so WWWWWW can understand it, this is like calling Mike Krzyzewski a bad coach because Duke players aren't good pro's. Lucia is a hell of a college hockey coach and deserves better then being called out by a GM who runs a team with all the money in the world into last place.

Since when is a college hockey coaches priority to develop players for the NHL??? I thought his job was to win college games and titles??? D. Blais was 100% wrong in his previous post. A player has to be able to defend if he is going to play in todays NHL. Your arguement about Vanek was also way off. Vaneks defending was over exagerated by Sioux fans with inferiority complexes. Saying Vanek didn't defend was the only way they could justify Parise was as good of a player. Vanek is also on record as saying the hardest thing he had to learn in the NHL is playing both ends of the ice. Once he started playing with passion at both ends of the ice he lead the NHL in +/-. Okposo better not complain about having to play a defensive style because he will be skating 3rd line at best over the next couple of seasons.

Basically I think the islanders forced Okposo's hand. There are rumors floating around that they told him either leave now or don't plan oncoming for a couple years. We most likely will never now what really happened, but either way this whole things stinks like a grand forks sugar beet factory. Either way Garth Snow is a classless twat who's opinion matters as much as mine. Here's hoping Snow chokes on his christmas goose. F'ing twat!

Minnesota vs. Santa Clara

Pretty much a horrible night last night, going 2-8 on basketball games, losing the bowl game, and having Ben Roethlisberger - who I'm playing in the fantasy superbowl - go off for three touchdowns. If my life was the history of gopher basketball, last night was the Monson era.

As far as the Gophers vs. Santa Clara game (which I can't attend due to a Christmas party), this should be a good test for the Gophers. Santa Clara is a decent team, who has already played 8 road games and has a road win @ Utah. The Gophers should be able to handle the Broncos, but if they don't play well (see: SDSU game) they could get into some trouble.

Of course, these are still the Gophers, even with Tubby they always make me nervous. There are three big factors that could swing the game in Santa Clara's favor:

1. Big guy downlow: Santa Clara's leading scorer is 6-10, 305 lb. center John Bryant, averaging 19.7 pts, 8.6 rebounds, and 2.2 blocks per game. With Spencer and Williams loving to get into foul trouble, and Coleman's inability to guard anyone, this guy worries me. He's big, he's goofy looking, and he's basically a more polished Jeff Hagen, but he could do some damage. He also shoots 74% from the line, so when Spencer and Williams keep fouling him, he can make them. He has played his best games against really bad teams, but he's been pretty consistent, scoring at least 13 points in every game this season.

2. 3-point shooting: You can't really double down on Bryant either, because Santa Clara can burn you with the three-ball. The Broncos rank sixth in the country in 3-point accuracy at 44.1%, and it's not just one or two guys doing the damage. They have four players who average at least one three pointer per game, and three of the four shoot it at 46% or higher, led by Brody Angley at 52%. Minnesota has defended the three much better this season than the infinity seasons under Monson, but with four different guys capable of knocking down an open one, it's definitely a concern.

3. Homecoming: The Broncos third leading scorer, behind Bryant and Angley, is 6-7 forward Mitch Henke from Minnetonka, MN at 10.5 ppg. I would guess that he is going to be pretty amped up to play in his home state. Will this lead him to explode, he has two twenty point games already this year, or will he crumble? Or neither?

All this being said, I expect Tubby to have the team ready, particularly after that worrisome win (yes, it's still a win, I get it) over SDSU. Minnesota 81, Santa Clara 71.

Hawaii -2 vs. St. Johns (L)
Wyoming -4 vs. Buffalo
NC State -3 vs. Davidson (L)
Northern Colorado +7.5 @ Portland
Clemson -9.5 vs. DePaul (W)
St. Mary's -9.5 vs. E Tenn State
Utah St -7 vs. Northern Arizona

Yesterday: 2-8
Season: 133-118

And I still refuse to believe that Pitt is for real. Not doing it.

Oh, and going with Florida Atlantic -3.5 in the New Orleans Bowl.

Bowls: 0-1

Thursday, December 20, 2007


The college football bowl season kicks off tonight with the Poinsettia Bowl, which is a really fruity name for a bowl game, in which Utah will take on mighty Navy. I know nothing of these two teams, and really am not a huge college football fan in general, but that doesn't mean I don't have a bet down on Utah -7.5 tonight.

Duke -6 vs. Pitt (L)
Gonzaga +2 @ Oklahoma (L)
CS Fullerton -6.5 vs. Montana (L)
SE Missouri St -4 @ Jacksonville St (L)
New Orleans -12.5 vs. LA Tech (L)
Ole Miss -7.5 vs. DePaul (L)
Arkansas St -6.5 vs. Florida Atlantic (L)
Clemson -33 vs. Puerto Rico (L)
Tulane +9 vs. St Mary's (W)
The Citadel +33.5 @ Washington St (W)

Yesterday: 6-5
Season: 131-110

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Good News/Bad News

Kind of a good news/bad news situation here tonight: I'm drunk, and I'm planning to get drunker. Anyway, here's stuff:

- This whole Kyle Ochochobee thing sucks. Leaving a team early alway sucks for the team. Since there isn't a Gopher on the basketball team this year with a prayer of being drafted, early or otherwise, the best comparison I can come up with is how Rico Tucker is going to declare early to be a first round pick and leave Pepperdine in a bind. It's not really fair to Pepperdine, but where you're a special talent you have to do what's best for you.

- Wofford giving Purdue everything they can handle. I don't know what to make of Purdue, sometimes they look really good, and sometimes they look brutal. Like tonight, they clearly have more talent, size, athleticism than Wofford, but they refuse to play defense and generally take bad shots. I suppose that's to be expected with a young team. I would be willing to bet they lose to someone like Iowa but end up beating an Illinois or Michigan State. Dangerous NIT team.

- Holy crap Baylor is getting destroyed. Guess I shouldn't have believed in them.

- David Teague is in the house to watch Purdue. Somehow this is a big deal to the announcers. They'll hire anybody on ESPNU.

- Memphis is insanely good. They're just toying with Cincy, keep letting them get back in it, and then going on a run. Derrick Rose is unreal. Rico-like.

- Is it weird that I still love Totino's Party Pizza's? No fat jokes.

- I know I'm not anywhere near the first person to say this, but college football's postseason is just plain stupid. Why is LSU worthly of the championship game? And to be honest, why is Ohio State? Sure, they only had one loss, but they played in the crapass Big Ten. Imagine college basketball this way. Memphis wouldn't be allowed in the championship because they play in C-USA.

- So I was going to do a whole end of the year thing about my favorite comments of the year, but now that seems like it may be too hard so I just want to point out my favorite thing ever. Go to this post, in which I make a sarcastic post about the Colts sucking in the preseason, because I was stuck in DC with nothing better to do, and check out the comments. Now, the first one was hilarious, because the guy clearly doesn't get it, but keep scrolling down. There's a comment from November, where I get called out for being stupid saying the Colts suck. Just classic. I'm sure there are better comments out there, but this one still stands out.

- So Joey Dorsey of Memphis was 20-22 on field goals going into this game, and the announcers are making a huge deal out of it. Guess what? If you're 20-22 on field goals, it just means you suck and all your shots are dunks or layups because you have zero offensive game. Joey Dorsey is now my least favorite player.

- Second technical in less than a minute on Memphis. They are clearly shaving points. Please investigate this.

- They just showed Chris Kramer's mom back over at the Purdue game. Way hotter than Suzy Kolber.

- Wofford just beat Purdue. The Big Ten is brutal, once again.

- Wow. So not only did Memphis go ahead and get two technicals tonight, but they continue to miss frree throws, with good shooters ,just to make sure they don't cover. Very suspicious. I'm going to bring this to your attention in about two years when Memphis gets busted.

- Memphis is more crooked than Clem.

- Well this is just fantastic, I either have Mich St blowing out San Jose or UNC blowing out nicholls state. gay.

- I'm gong to try to watch an NBA game (Wolves), probably won't go well.

- FYI - Duke will beat Pitt by 20 tomorrow. Also, NBA sucks.

- Whatever happend to Joseph Forte?

- Wow. The NBA can actually be pretty entertaining in the playoffs, but here in the regular season this is jsut terrible. And it's even Golden State, who si stupposed to be all about scoring points and what not. I'd rather watch a blowout in college hoops.

- Joe Forte is playing in Russia.

- Seriously, Purdue lost to Wofford.

- Some other good comments:

from here:

you're unbelievable.
rick has a career doing what he loves and living his life.
look at you. spending so much time putting a guy down.
you're pathetic.
hmmm- jelousy?
anything he has done and will do you can only dream about.
rick works his ass off everyday, you never get off yours. apparently too busy blogging about how you hate "anything goldy".

This one was pretty good from Bogart:

Just read in the paper this morning that Deuce is out for the year. I'm surprised its not already posted on this blog, but I guess since it doesn't involve anyone on W's fantasy team there's no coverage on his blog. Any takers that Bush has more rush/rec. yards this year than LT??? Bush has already spotted him about 80 yards

This one was good from $nake:

Detroit +6.5 is a stone cold lead pipe lock! Have you seen Philly play? It is liking watching the Vikings except Andy Reid is fat with a bad stache instead of skinny with a bad stache like Chilly. Both teams have black quarterbacks who can't play. Note to Chunky Soup Guy, I am not a racist (unless you are talking about native americans, then I am), You and T-Job both blow simple as that. Their receivers have less combined talent then the gophers front court. All this adds up to Detroit wins by 2.

That was about Philly, who won by 40+

I always like compliments, and BucktheFadgers once told me:

Just a comment on the Blog in makes me laugh my ass off.

and anonymous once said "You are the blogging maestro" which of course was nice to hear.

But I think, as comment of the year, I'd have to go with "WWWWWW, You're a Fag and your blog is stupid and irrelevant.". It just really sums up this blog so well. Even thought it was posted in the midst of a pretty solid baseball discussion that was 48 comments long, it is just so insightful, so accurate, so precise, that I can't help but admire the intelligence of the person who posted it. Anonymous, step forward and claim your reward.

- Holy sweet mother of jesus, have you seen this coach of Kansas's football team? First off, he stole his name from that guy on the Jets, Mangini vs. Mangino, and second of all, he stole his fatness from Majerus, but worse. Nobody is going to sign this guy, even after winning coach of the year in the NCAA, because he's going to die in three years. Seriously.

- Why the mother hell is World's Stongest Man on Espn2 right now? I thought that was something they just threw on during the day for drunk college kids to watch. Magnus ver Magnusson was the freakin' man. Dominant.

- Ok, if I had to pick one comment for the year of 2007, it would be "You are my hero" From here. Pretty much the best summary for DWG for the year.

- UNLV is a pretty decent team. They're going to end up beating Arizona tonight. Will be a very good test for the Gophers coming up.

- Dude who visits here almost every day by searching for "Auburn Logo" on google: It's Probably easier for you, plus I paid $1.99 for the year for tht URL. So use it.

- Done.

F'ing Quitter

Official Press Release From The University of MN

Okposo Departing Hockey Team to Sign With New York IslandersUniversity of Minnesota sophomore Kyle Okposo has chosen to forgo the remainder of the 2007-08 season and his career with the Golden Gophers to sign a contract with the New York Islanders of the National Hockey League.Okposo was the Islanders’ first-round draft choice and the seventh player taken overall in the 2006 entry draft. He is the eighth Minnesota player to leave college early for the professional ranks since the end of the 2005-06 season. Okposo is departing today for the Czech Republic as a member of the United States’ under-20 national team that is competing at the International Ice Hockey Federation world championships and will join the Islanders following the tournament.

“While I’m disappointed Kyle is leaving at this point of the season, his dream has been to play pro hockey,” Minnesota coach Don Lucia said. “It is unfortunate that the Islanders put him in a very difficult position. I think our team has made strides the last few weeks and I’m looking forward to the second half of the season.”

A St. Paul native who attended Shattuck St. Mary’s in Faribault, Minn., Okposo burst onto the collegiate scene last season with 19 goals and 21 assists in 40 games as a freshman. He earned second-team All-WCHA honors and was named to the league’s All-Rookie Team. Amid speculation that he would leave for the NHL after his freshman season, Okposo announced on June 6 that he would return to the Gophers.Okposo had a slow start to the 2007-08 season with an eight-game scoreless streak after a three-point game in the season opener against Rensselaer. He scored points in six of the last nine games, totaling seven goals and four assists over the team’s first 18 games as Minnesota currently owns a 9-8-1 record.

This twat just went from one of my top 10 all time gophers to one of my most hated. I now think of Jeff Frazee in higher standards than Okposo. Bobby Petrino would be proud......f'ing acne faced quitter!

Holiday Tournys Start Today

And these two are a bunch of suck. The San Juan Shootout in Puerto Rico and the Rainbow Classic in Hawaii fire it up today, and really, they aren't that much to get excited about. I could have sworn the Rainbow used to be a good tournament, but this year the lineup looks like a Gopher NC schedule, except better: Hawaii, Ohio, St Johns, Georgia, LA-Lafayette, Tulane, St. Mary's, and East Tennessee State. Pretty much the only interesting thing to see here is if St. Mary's, who became a bit of a media darling after knocking off Oregon, is any good. If they are good enough to challenge Gonzaga in the WCC, they should be able to take down this tournament.

At least the Rainbow is in tournament form. The shootout has fallen so far that they only managed to invite five teams this year. Along with the host, PR-Mayaguez (the Chaminade of the tournament) DePaul, LaSalle, Clemson, and Ole Miss are making the trip. Better than the Rainbow Classic, but not even in tournament form - unless you count Round Robin as a tournament, which I don't.

Actually, with the minutes of research I've been doing, I can't find a single decent tournament. Even the one in Madison Square Garden has Hofstra, Virginia Tech, St. Johns, and Marist. Who let's those teams into a tournament in the Garden?

Oh well, at least I can watch the Gophers play in their crappy tournament. What? I can't? It's not on TV at all? Well, that makes sense. Why would you want to put Gopher games on TV - ever. You people can go to hell.

Baylor +3 @ South Carolina (W)
Memphis -14 @ Cincinnati (L)
South Florida +4 @ Wake Forest (L)
Wofford +17 @ Purdue (W)
Santa Clara +14 @ Stanford (L)
UIC -7.5 vs. Toledo (W)
Ohio -3.5 vs. St. Johns (L)
UNLV +5 vs. Arizona (W)
Morehead St -6 vs. Eastern Illinois (L)
New Mexico -8 vs. New Mex St (W)
NoCo +10.5 @ Oregon St (W)

Yesterday: 5-5
Season: 125-105

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


I got nothin.

But Favre is still overrated.

Charleston +17.5 @ Florida St (W)
Alcorn St +7.5 @ Louisiana Tech (L)
Kentucky +3.5 @ Houston (L)
Marshall +15.5 @ Louisville (W)
Kansas -10.5 @ Georgia Tech (L)
Ohio St -7 @ Cleveland St (W)
Washington -12 vs. Portland St (W)
Samford -4 vs. SE Missouri St (L)
New Orleans +7 @ Southern Miss (L)
Mid Tenn St -5 vs. Florida Int'l (W)

Yesterday: 5-2
Season: 120-100

Monday, December 17, 2007

Suzy Kolber is not hot. At all. Seriously.

Monday Picks

Another crappy day. Take heart, holiday tournaments get fired up in a week and a half. Also, I encourage you to visit this link to find out how many five year olds you could take in a fight. I could take 23.

Tenn-Martin -3 @ Morehead State (L)
Wofford +17.5 @ Alabama (W)
North Colorado +23.5 @ Gonzaga (W)
Portland -3 @ East Washington (L)
Tulane -5.5 vs. Indiana St (W)
Illinois -22.5 vs. Western Carolina (W)
Santa Clara -6.5 vs. Montana (W)

Yesterday: 1-0
Season: 115-98

Seriously. Favre = Rose.

So there's been some chatter in the comment section of the post below, mostly disagreeing with me that Brett Favre is like Pete Rose.

Since apparently it needs to be spelled out, I did some research. I took fourteen quarterbacks who could be considered in the All-Time Greatest discussion: Brett Favre, Joe Montana, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Warren Moon, Johnny Unitas, Jim Kelly, Steve Young, Dan Marino, Terry Bradshaw, Dan Fouts, Fran Tarkenton, Roger Staubach, and John Elway and compared their stats.

But I didn't compare compiled stats, which accumulate over time based on games played and passes attempted. Those are the stats by which Rose and Favre look good, based on nothing more than longevity, by being average or slightly above average for a lot of years. I looked at Yards/Game, Yards/Attempt, Completion %, Attempts/TD, Attempts/INT, and TD/Int. Pretty standard stats. The following chart shows how each player ranked in each category, as well as a total of the rankings to show who is the best QB of all-time:

Yds/GYds/AttComp %Att/TdAtt/INTTd/IntTOTAL

It's pretty clear when it's all laid out for you like this. Favre, while a pretty good quarterback and yes, an all-time great, is certainly not the greatest of all-time, and actually ranks number six. Manning, Young, Brady, Montana, and Marino all rank higher than him in terms of per game performance, and it's not close.

So go ahead and proclaim to everyone that you believe Favre is the greatest quarterback of all-time. That's fine, to each his own. But just know, if you are saying Favre is the greatest, you better be saying Pete Rose is the greatest as well.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Does Brett Favre = Pete Rose?

Seriously. Think about it. Guy plays way longer than anybody else, and ends up setting every record in his sport. Hmmm. Let's look.

Pete Rose: 14,052 at bats, career leader in hits at 4,256.
Favre: 255 games, basically every career QB record.

Now, let's look at their closest competitor for these records:

Ty Cobb: 4,189 hits in 11,434 at bats. Almost 3,000 less ABs, and less than a hundred hits between them. Clearly, Cobb is a million times better than Rose (Career OPS+ = 167 to 118, and for you less educated fans, career average is .366 to .303) You have to be a complete moron to argue Rose was better than Cobb. So that much is clear. Let's look at your precious Brett Favre.

Favre: 61,405 yards, surpassing Marino at 61,361. In 242 games. Favre has played in 255 games. Almost an entire season more.

How about his touchdown record? Marino 420, Favre 438. In 8,895 attempts for Favre, in 8,358 attempts for Marino. Over three hundred attempts difference. Again, almost an entire season.

Yet everybody wants to make sweet, sweet love to Brett Favre. He's no different than Pete Rose, who is recognized as holding the record purely out of longevity.

Another comparison is their evilness. Rose gambled. Favre was (or is?) addicted to pain killers. And he's kind of a douche.

And let's not forget their "love of the game." Rose was called Charlie Hustle. You can't watch a game of Favre's without some d-bag announcer gushing about his "love of the game" and how he's "just a big kid out there." Sounds like Rose. Considering he basically ended Ray Fosse's career by bowling him over at the plate in an all-star game because "he's just so into the game."

So let's all just take a step back, and try not to be quite so in love with the great Brett Favre. Good player? Of course. Greatest of all-time? Only if you want to take longevity into it. There are an assload of quarterbacks who would have better numbers than Favre if they played as long as he has. The guy has destroyed the career games and passing attempts records. I also love how any time you try to bring up the fact that he owns the career interceptions record, "fans" bring up how he has attempted more passes than anybody. Well, guess what ass, that applies to all his records, you can't just choose the negative ones.

It really just makes me happy that I wasn't old enough to know what was going on when Rose beat Cobb's record. An all-time great player having his record beaten by a guy who just stayed around for ever and beat it simply by playing longer. What a joke. Just like Favre. Marino was a much better QB, but Favre has just been around longer. And spare me the Super Bowl winning crap. Plug in Elway, Young, or Montana instead. Or even Mark Rypien. Favre is the most overrated player ever. Other than Rose. And he's a druggie.

They're pretty much the same guy.

Michigan is the Suck

In case you missed it, the mightly Wolverines of Michigan continued to suck, losing at home to Central Michigan. Sound familiar? That's who the Gophers beat 77-59. Yet, they knocked of the Wolverines, in Ann Arbor, 78-67. That, along with the loss to Harvard, is almost enough to bring Michigan to Northwestern like levels. Wow.

After a nearly disastrous start yesterday, going 1-5 in the first six games, finished up going 7-2 to finish 8-7 on the day. Not much going on today.

Manhattan PK @ Princeton

Yesterday: 8-7
Season: 114-98

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Basketball is Back!

After a week of having nothing, there are some decent games today. It's still not great, but it's something

Okla State +13.5 @ Pitt (L)
Oklahoma -4 vs. Arkansas (W)
Kentucky -6.5 vs. UAB (L)
Louisville +1.5 @ Purdue (L)
Xavier -3 @ Arizona St (L)
Butler -3.5 vs. Florida St (W)
UIC +9.5 @ DePaul (W)
Akron +1 @ Austin Peay (W)
Oregon -3 @ Nebraska (L)
Ohio +17 @ Kansas (L)
UWGB +19.5 @ Wisconsin (W)
So Illinois -4.5 @ St Louis (L)
South Alabama -1.5 vs. Miss State (W)
West Kentucky +9.5 @ Tennessee (W)
North Arizona -2.5 @ San Jose St

Yesterday: 1-0
Season: 106-91

Friday, December 14, 2007

Friday Night

I'm a loser and I'm home at 9:49 on Friday night. I've also been out drinking and still have a bunch of beers here, so maybe I can get drunk enough to make this entertaining. But probably not.

- I'd like to point out this article, wherein superstar F.P. Santangelo admits to his HGH use and says things like, "I made this bed and now I have to lie in it" and how he didn't want to be one of the first guys named when the Mitchell Report came out and was summarized on ESPN. Hey guess what F.P., honestly, nobody other than your family gives two shits that you were on HGH, and there wasn't a chance in hell you'd be one of the first guys mentioned on ESPN. Your career OPS+ was 89 and you never had more than 427 PAs in a season. You're basically Denny Hocking. You're completely irrelevant, unless you have info that your '96-'98 Expo teammate Vlad took roids, which I highly doubt. But good job getting yourself as the lead story on

- My father-in-law gave me my Christmas present tonight. A $100 giftcard to the local liquor store. As awesome as that is, it also scares me a little.

- Drake beat Iowa by five. We had Drake -2.5. Awesome. Also awesome is how much Iowa sucks. And Tony Freeman played. 22 minutes, 3-14 shooting, 0 assists to 2 turnovers. Brutal. That team is a complete mess, and the Gophers only get to play them once, which sucks.

- Six bets down for tomorrow: Kentucky -6.5, Louisville +1.5, Xavier -3, Butler -3.5, UIC +9.5, Akron +1.

- MLB Power Pros is an awesome game for PS2. I highly, highly recommend it. I don't think they make it for PS3, but if you're one of those rich bastards with a PS3 you can just go F yourself anyway.

- Here are my NFL picks for the week, and I'm already 0-1. I don't know what I was last week, because I really don't pay attention. I never bet on the NFL, that's for suckers. These picks are coming with zero research, or any thought, to be honest:
Cincy -8.5 @ San Fran
New Orleans -3.5 vs. Arizona
Atlanta +13 @ Tampa Bay
Baltimore -3.5 @ Miami
Cleveland -5.5 vs. Buffalo
Green Bay -8 @ St Louis
Pittsburgh -3 vs. Jacksonville
New England -22 vs. NY Jets
Carolina +7.5 vs. Seattle
Tennessee -4 @ Kansas City
Indy -10 @ Oakland
Detroit +10 @ San Diego
Dallas -10 vs. Philly
NY Giants -4.5 vs. Washington
Chicago +10 @ Minnesota

- This headline, "Model sues Nets star for alleged groping", makes me laugh.

- Remember R Jay Soward? The former USC WR who went to Jacksonville? The Bear freakin' loved that guy, but turns out he was pretty much an alchoholic. He was suspended by the league so many times, that he hasn't even bothered to refile for reinstatement since his only year in the league in 2000, and finished his career with a grand total of 14 catches (Chris Walsh had a career total of 67, so what does that tell you?) He did play in the CFL for a few years, and once, after scoring a touchdown, ran to the concession stand setup behind the endzone, grabbed a bag of popcorn and shared it with the fans. That's just awesome.

- You know who would have been awesome? Tim Biakabutuka. Seriously. He was always hurt though. He was more fragile than Theory or LunnDale on our touch football team. But more awesomer.

- Watching season five of Cu rb your Enthusiasm. This show is just way too funny. They found work for Blossom. Miyam Bialik. Blossom from Blossom is on this show. That's funny in and of itself.

- Six was hot.

- Jesus there is nothing going on tonight and I'm bored. So I'm going to see if Andre Dawson or Kriby Puckett was a better baseball player.
PUckett: 12 seasons, 2,304 hits, 207 HR, career OPS+ = 124
Dawson: 21 seasons, 2,774 hits, 438 HR, career OPS+ = 119

Hmmm. Close. Longevity, which does matter, favors Dawson by quite a bit at this point. How about single season greatness?

Puckett: 1988 - .356/.375/.545, 24 HR, 121 RBI, OPS+ = 152
Dawson: 1987 - .287/.328/.568, 49 HR, 137 RBI, OPS+ = 130

Jesus, neither of these guys had any idea of what the strike zone was, but that's why they make a good comparison to each other. It's pretty close. Puckett was better in their prime, by a pretty good amount, but Dawson's not getting blindness makes it closer than it should be. Puckett has a huge advantage in hitting women and groping random chicks over Dawson, and also leads 1-0 in the category of being creepy to ugly, fat admins who I used to work with when they are shopping at Peter's Billiards. He also leads in the category of deaths, 1-0. All this being said, I would chose Puckett over Dawson, because Puckett is quite seriously one of the best right-handed hitters in the history of baseball, no matter what his personal deal, and Andre Dawson is really just pretty annoying.

- Sweet. It's 12:20 now and they're replaying Drake v. Iowa. This will be the only game all week I've watched on TV. I hate Christmas break. Screw the "students." They should have to play basketball for my amusement. And what's up with all the "academic incentives" in Tubby's new contract? F that crap. I don't care if he graduates a single player, just win baby. Clem is still the best coach in the history of the Gophers, despite the "unpleasantness."

- Iowa basketball is sponsored by Panchero's. If you've never tried it I can't recommend it more highly. It's a burrito joint, and there's one in Block E and probably other places too. If you like Chipotle, this place will make you hate Chipotle for not being Pancheros.

- I really can't believe how bad Iowa is. Alford really should never, ever have a job again. Last year's Gophers would have beaten this year's Iowa team, on a neutral court, by 15 (assuming Molinari was coaching, if Monson was coaching it would have been Iowa by 2).

- College soccer is on ESPNU right now. As tempting as that is, I'm going to keep watching Drake kick the crap out of Iowa. Seriously, if you're a betting man, just bet against Iowa all year long.

- Seriously, FP Santangelo came out to talk about taking steroids. $20 says he has a book out within a year.

- Drake has Klayton Korver, the Ozzie Canseco of college basketball. Seriously parents, if you're going to go with a name as messed up as Clayton, why go with the K instead of C?

- By the way, Oz Canseco only had 65 career major league abs, with zero homeruns. Seems weird.

- I know this game already happened, but Iowa has 21 at half, only because Freeman hit a three with three seconds left in the half. Also, Drake has never won in this building. Stay tuned.

- I can't stress nearly enough how bad Iowa is.

- Snake - this was for you.

- Dammit last beer.

- Louisville is going to beat Purdue by 137 tomorrow.

- I'm bored and runk.

Steroids = Bad

So the Mitchell report came out, and it names a whole assload of players who took/purchased steroids - I know, I couldn't believe it either. Who would dare cheat the pure game of baseball, with its proud tradition of nobody cheating ever and no stories told with a chuckle of people cheating. Such pure wholesomeness must be protected and preserved at all costs. Tradition means everything.

Seriously, this report isn't really all that big of a deal. I mean, no shit a whole bunch of players were/are taking steroids. Hey baseball, you mean there's something out there that will help people make millions of dollars, you don't bother to test for it or even say it's against your league rules, and a bunch of people took it? Get right out of town. Baseball should really just shut up and try to let this story go away instead of pushing it out to the forefront. Bud Selig used to be known as an idiot because of contraction and the tie in the All-Star game, now his legacy is just going to get worse.

This report probably didn't even get a third of the players taking them, it names a total of 86 players. I'm no legal expert, but I'm guessing there have been a whole hell of a lot more players on the sweet, sweet Roids than that. I haven't read the damn thing because it's 400 pages and half of it is "steroids are bad." But here's the list of players mentioned, broken out in arbitrary categories assigned by me.

Tim Laker
Mark Carreon
Cody McKay
Adam Riggs
Bart Miadich
Mike Bell (not the football player. I checked)
Gary Bennett
Jeff Williams
Howie Clark
Mike Judd
Ricky Stone
Ryan Jorgensen
Steve Woodard
Todd Williams
Stephen Randolph

Dan Naulty
Armando Rios
Marvin Benard
Bobby Estallela
Jeremy Giambi
Randy Velarde
Larry Bigbie
Josias Manzanillo
Matt Franco
Jason Grimsley
Gregg Zaun
FP Santangelo
Ron Villone
Chris Donnels
Todd Pratt
Mike Lansing
Kevin Young
Kent Mercker
Phil Hiatt
Adam Piatt
Jason Christiansen
Matt Herges
Jim Parque
Chad Allen (Go Twins!)
Brendan Donnally (He once humped some groupie on a balcony of the house he was sharing with several other minor league teammates and ended up with crabs. True Story)
Nook Logan
Paxton Crawford
Darren Holmes
John Rocker (I'm shocked)
Jerry Hairston, Jr.
Ricky Bones
David Bell


Barry Bonds
Jason Giambi
Gary Sheffield
David Segui
Ryan Franklin
Rafael Palmeiro
Ken Caminiti
Jose Canseco

Paul Byrd

The players in the above lists I would have to label "Who Cares?" as a group. They either are insignificant, or we already knew about it. That covers 56 out of the 86 players in the report. The remaining 30 I would say are somewhat more significant, and can be broken out into three categories:

Brian Roberts
Rondell White
Roger Clemens
Eric Gagne
Gary Matthews, Jr.

Benito Santiago (no wonder he played for 40 years)
Lenny Dykstra (although I'm guessing he'd put about anything in his body)
Jack Cust
Todd Hundley
Hal Morris
Chuck Knoblauch (really?)
Glenallen Hill
Denny Neagle (Go Gophers!)
Mike Stanton
Paul LoDuca
Fernando Vina
Derrick Turnbow
Jay Gibbons
Scott Schoenweis
Ismael Valdez
Rick Ankiel (how's that feelgood story now?)
Jose Guillen
Wally Joyner

That leaves 7 guys in the entire report who actually matter. 7. On the whole thing. That everyone is freaking out about. 7.
Andy Pettitte
David Justice
Mo Vaughn
Miguel Tejada
Kevin Brown
Troy Glaus
Matt Williams

Only three of these guys are even still playing. And they're old. No A-Rod. No Pujols. No Vlad. No Santana. No Peavy. No Ryan Howard. No Josh Becktt. So what's the big deal? Talk about anti-climactic.

If anything, this report is a boost to guys like Bonds, Clemens, McGwire and Sosa (where are those two on the list, by the way?) because of how many players took the juice and still sucked ass. If you want to call baseball a joke, do it for this ridiculous report or for the fact that David Eckstein got $4.5 mil for one year, not because of steroids.

College Hockey Takes A Break

Hockey is also on break for "finals" over the next couple of weeks. There are a couple of games in the WCHA this weekend, but I don't care enough about them to discuss it.

A couple hockey nuggets worth mentioning. Mike Carman will be back from his academic suspension when the Gophers return to action. This is good for a couple reasons. 1) He is really good 2)He is probably their top penalty killer 3) Okposo can finally move to wing and maybe score some goals. The other nugget worth mentioning is the World Junior tournament starts next weekend and five Gophers will be on the team. Those five players are Okposo, Ryan Flynn, Cade (mad dogs twin) Fairchild, Mike Carman and Jordan Schroeder (08 Frosh). The four current Gophers will all be gone when the team plays in the Mariucci Classic December 29-30. This could be an issue during their 2nd game when a depleted Gopher team will most likely play Boston College. There is also a chance all four members will be gone when Wayne State comes to town the following weekend but WWWWW and his math team could skate 3rd line and the Gophers would still win both games of that series.

Here's hoping for some drunken ramblings from WWWWWWW during the holiday season to pass the time. I will leave you with the above pictures to get you through the next two weeks of no college hockey. Lammy is soooo gay!

(Note: No Gophers are pictured kicking the puck into the net)

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Gophers 78, Rabbits 72


Ok, maybe not (but maybe), but it sure felt like that last night. The Gophers struggling at home with a much inferior opponent who should have been blown out completely did not bring back happy memories, and was little too close to the Dan Monson era for me. Luckily, the last two minutes brought me back to the present and to reality.

To be fair, SDSU deserves a lot of credit, in particular a little wiener guard named Garrett Callahan (pictured above). He came into the game averaging 13 points per game, and walked out with 28 points, and almost dominated the game. The stats say he shot 11-18, but they must be lying because he hardly missed. I guess at the end of the game when it became chucking time, but he was on fire the way I haven't seen since Mike Taylor or Vince Grier in the second half against Wisconsin. He pulled up on a 3 on 2 from three (his foot was actually on the line) and buried the shot with his legs going one way and his body the other, and later had a floater hit the back of the rim, bounce way up, and come down through. Just on fire. It wasn't until Al Nolen was matched up on him that the Gophers were able to slow him down.

It wasn't just Callahan's play that kept the Rabbits in the game, Minnesota helped them out on the defensive end. Lapses on defense gave the Rabbits a lot of open looks, including a wide open alley-oop off an inbounds play that was pretty embarrassing, and allowing 16 offensive rebounds is absolutely god awful. To make it even worse, 10 of those were by guys 6-7 or smaller, and their tallest guy was only 6-8. SDSU shot the ball 61 times compared to 48 for the Gophers. Terrible. Minnesota shot 56% for the floor, 68% from the line, and had 24 assists to only 10 turnovers, and was STILL losing with four minutes left.

Essentially, the pressure defense didn't work (only forced 10 turnovers) except on Clint Sargent, one of the worst players in DI history. The stats say he didn't have any turnovers, but that is clearly creative bookkeeping because the guy was terrible. The ability of the rest of the Rabbits to handle the D led to easy baskets and easy rebounds, and was basically what kept them in the game.

The Gophers did win, so there had to be some good news. As bad as the defense was, the offense was very solid. Coleman and Tollackson had it working down low, although Coleman seemed to disappear in the second half. Al Nolen continues to impress and play well. He is already a terrific defender, and in a few years could be another Eric Harris. And Hoffbauer seems to have complete confidence in his shot, and is knocking them down. I am a little concerned with McKenzie. He's scoring five less points per game and taking four less shots per game than last year. I was hoping he would take his shots more in the flow of the offense this year, and he seems to be, but he almost seems a little too passive this year. I don't want the old McKenzie back, but I'm not sure I'm thrilled with this new one either.

Last thing I want to mention is the half time entertainment. Not the first part, which was some danceline bit, which is fine - whatever. The second part, was a game of three on three between two students dressed like idiots (cape guy and devil guy) with Goldy and three students dressed like apes. And what's with the ape thing? I thought this was "The Barn" not "The Zoo" or "The Jungle." Anyway, just horrible. I'm not sure any of these guys knew how to play basketball at all, other than one of the apes who pulled off a modified Dreamshake (tm), which was awesome. In general, it was completely unwatchable, and even worse than Quick Change. I'm sure it was exciting for those who got to play, but even the student section, where these guys came from, seemed pretty bored with it. In conclusion, that's why I think Scrooged is the best Christmas movie ever.

The Citadel +30 @ Davidson
Miss State -6 vs. Miami (FL)

Yesterday: 4-3
Season: 104-90

Also, since there's a football game tonight, Denver -1.5 @ Houston

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

#20 on sdsu is the best basketball player ever. Almost as good as Rico.

#10 for sdsu is the worst basketball player the history of ever. Worse than burleson even. For real.

This is horrible its like last year also i'm going to kill the guy next to me

Gophers = worst team ever

Corey Brewer vs. the World

Somewhere previously, I said Corey Brewer would be the best pick of this draft other than Greg Oden or Kevin Durant. I don't know if it was the excitement of seeing him slip to 7, the fact that he won Final Four Most Outstanding Player (where we had him at 10-1 odds), or my keen basketball sense, but I was sure he would be the man.

Using a sophisticated ranking system I call "Looking at Stats" it looks like he is #4 so far this season, using minutes, points, blocks, steals, assists, and rebounds. Beating him are Kevin Durant (of course), Al Horford, and Yi Jianlian. Brewer is averaging 21 minutes (5th among rookies), 4.9 points (13th), 4.6 rebounds (5th), 1.5 assists (4th), 0.7 steals (6th), and 0.4 blocks (8th). I think it's safe to say he's barely tapped his potential at this point whereas Horford and Jianlian are probably already at their peak, and will likely only fade from here - leaving Brewer as the best rookie not named Durant, and proving once again that I'm always right.

If you're wondering, the rookies getting at least 10 minutes a game who rank lowest are Spencer Hawes and Aron Afflalo. Also interesting is the fact that Daequan Cook is the second leading scorer amongst rookies. That one I didn't see coming.

On another T-Wolves note, I caught a little bit of last night's game on the radio. Somehow I heard that the games are on 106.1 FM now, and so flipped over. Well, it appears Craig Smith's new nickname is "The Rhino." I'm not really sure how I feel about this one, mostly based on the fact that the time I saw him in person (BC vs. Villanova in the tournament) he was fat and lazy. BC had to set up the offense before he even got down the court most of the time, and the majority of his points and rebounds came because he was fatter than everybody else. I'd be more inclined to go with "The Hippo", except hippos are really aggressive and kill people all the time, and Smith is too lazy for that. I'm going with "The Manatee."

That wasn't the point, the point was that right after I heard him refer to The Manatee as "The Rhino" he said "and Smith Rhino's it into the lane." That is, without a doubt, the single dumbest thing I've ever heard. I don't know who that announcer is, but he should be shot or beaten or killed or something.

Penn State -14 vs. Princeton
Vanderbilt -4 @ DePaul
Maryland -7.5 vs. Ohio
Cincinnati +20 @ Xavier
Boston College -5 vs. UMASS
New Orleans +5 @ Colorado
Santa Clara -6.5 vs. Pacific
Cal Poly +8 @ Portland St

Yesterday: 3-2
Season: 100-87

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Minnesota vs. SDSU

I hate Christmas-time. Well, not really, but the week or two right before Christmas really sucks for college basketball. Until the Holiday tournaments start, hardly anybody is playing at all. Yesterday, there wasn't a line on a single game. Nothing. There were only eight games total, and you couldn't wager on any of them. I almost died. True story.

Tomorrow night the Jackrabbits of South Dakota State will be coming to the Barn to get their doors blown off by the Gophers. I have a feeling a lot of people are going to be leaving early from this one. SDSU is 3-5, with a loss to Centenary in the mix, and got beat by Oral Roberts by 29 on Saturday. The only slice of good news for SDSU is that their best player is a 6-6 Wing, Kai Williams, who might match up against Hoffbauer and Shamala. I'm guessing Tubby is smarter than that, and puts someone on him who is better than the average health club defender. Minnesota 88, SDSU 64.

Wright State +1.5 vs. Bradley
Central Florida -12 vs. LA-Lafayette
Evansville +13 @ Valpo
Sac State +32.5 @ Oregon
St. Mary's +4.5 @ So Illinois

Sunday: 1-5
Season: 97-85

Monday, December 10, 2007

Gophers Split and I Still Hate UND

Here is a recap of Sioux vs Gopher weekend in Grand Forks. This was suppose to updated daily but the hotel we stayed at used some F’ing internet cable that hasn’t been made since Apple stopped making their IIE Series. Of course they didn’t have any extra cables and Wi-fi was out of the question. This coming from Grand Forks newest and greatest hotel. You now get to enjoy yesterdays news today.

We arrived at the land of wind, tumble weeds and homophobia Friday afternoon. The first two things I noticed when stepping out of my car was 1) the town stinks like an enormous shit factory. I was told it is a sugar beet factory, but I don’t buy it. I think god has played a joke on the city and covered the entire place in invisible shit. 2) The only thing whiter then the snow up there are the people. We did see one token between the 2nd and 3rd periods of Friday nights game, but that was it. Otherwise the first non-white person I saw was Kyle Okposo. How funny is that? The first black person I saw was playing in a hockey game! I kid you not, that place is Hitler’s wonder land. Nothing but blonde hair and blue eyes, it is actually kind of creepy. I guess that’s why Ralph Englestad liked the city so much and decided to build a palace here.

As far as hockey, the Gophers deserved better then a split this weekend. They actually outplayed the Sioux for 5 of the 6 periods. 3 of those periods they actually dominated. The story of the weekend was the Gophers inability to score on Friday when they where out shooting the Sioux 30-8 at one point, yet trailed 1-0. On top of not scoring Friday the fat/drunk goalie decided to play like a complete D-bag in the 3rd period and give up two semi soft goals. On the Sioux’s second goal he decided to duck so the puck didn’t hit him in his mask. Nothing says good goalie like getting out of the way of a puck. At least I can still take the piss out him for the rest of the season. So I have that going for me. The only thing else worth mentioning about Friday night is the city of Grand Forks owns Mad Dog. I have never seen a kid take a bigger beating from a city in my life and I can speak from experience. Next to Jeff Frazee, Mad dog was the biggest disappointment of the night. I take that back, Mad Dog was the biggest disappointment.

Also, UND’s arena sells beer at the games and has two bars, one at each end of the arena. WWWWWW, I thought You would find that fact interesting since beer is the most important thing in your life (hopefully your cigarettes don’t take offence to that comment).

Saturday nights game was completely controlled by the gophers for the first 54 minutes. The Gophers jumped out to a 4-1 lead going into the third period and I think I am going to take most of the credit for that. Obviously Lucia read DWG on Thursday because they used my game plan just as I had drawn it up. The defenders played smart (RJ Anderson was still slow and soft) and the forwards did all of the little things that are needed to win on the road. The Sioux did make it interesting the final 6 minutes by scoring two goals and then pulling their french goalie for the final minute, but the Gophers held on for a 4-3 win. The victory broke my curse of seeing nothing but Sioux victories over the Gophers in Grand Forks. I would have whooped it up after the game but Grand Forks was still owning the Mad Dog and the bars wouldn’t serve Snake Jr even though he is two feet taller then Mad Dog.

Here is my meltdown from the weekend. I left Saturday nights game hating the Sioux hockey team more then ever before. Talk about a bunch of cheap, classless fucks. "Just because your team is the most overrated team in the history of college hockey doesn’t mean you can start taking cheap shots at the worst Gopher team since 1998 just for completely out playing You." "Talk about a classless bunch of Twats led by a classless neanderthal looking coach." Along with the Frenchman, You can now add Kozek to my list of most hated Sioux players of all time. I am also hoping he sustains a season ending injury in the next game or two. I know I will burn in hell for that comment, but it would be worth it to see that cheap twat get carried off the ice. One of the highlights of the weekend came Saturday night when Snake Jr. Got to hear my call Kozek an F’ing Cunt at the end of the second period. Looks like Jr. is all grown up.

Also, no word from Mad Dog since 10:30 Saturday night. I think Grand Forks owned him so much that it actually killed him.

P.S. That was Me who threw my panties on the ice Saturday night when that Sexy S.O.B. Oshie scored the Sioux’s first goal of the game.