Friday, February 29, 2008


I have started a March Madness pool for DWG readers and writers, fans and haters alike.

Click here to join. It's free, but I'll come up with a few prizes for the top finishers. The link is also up top, so you can join up anytime.

All are welcome to join. Go for it.

Gophers vs. Buckeyes, again. Yawn

The last home game of the season is coming up tomorrow, and thank god the season is pretty much over. I am looking forward to a home NIT game or two, because it's always fun to see teams like Wake Forest, Cal, or Ole Miss. Seriously, have you seen what has happened to Ole Miss? They started off the season 13-0, including a win over Clemson, and were ranked in the top 15. Since SEC play started, they have gone 5-9, with one of those wins over Presbyterian, a non-D1 opponent. They just lost by 20 to last place LSU. So that whole promising start is now looking like an NIT bid. Sad.

Anyway, Ohio State comes to the Barn desperately needing this win to solidify a shot at an NCAA berth. If nothing else, the Gophers can be a spoiler and try to help kill the Buckeyes hopes.

I wrote last time these two teams played that Jamar Butler wasn't a true point guard and that the Gophers would win in Columbus. I'm an idiot. Butler is having a killer season, leading the Buckeyes with 14.1 points, 6.3 assists, and a 2.4 assist to TO ratio, and the idiot Gophers got killed by 16 as Butler had 27 and 9.

Ohio State has lost three in a row, and has dropped games at Michigan and Iowa. This clearly means that they are a suck of a road team. The Gophers are sometimes kind of sort of decent at home. Seriously, I have no idea how to pick this game. I have a feeling that a focused, goal-oriented Ohio State team is going to be able to handle a bunch of idiots with little idea of what they're doing. Ohio State 71, Minnesota 67.


Thursday, February 28, 2008

Watching Stuff

Just some thoughts as I watched some games tonight:

- First of all, before watching hoops we watched The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters. It. Was. Awesome. It's a documentary about the world of competitive Donkey Kong. The sheer nerdery on display is off the charts. I'm a fairly nerdy guy, but these guys make me look like freakin' Fonzi. I can't recommend it highly enough. It might be my favorite movie ever. EVER.

- Watching the second half of Michigan State/Wisconsin, and it's 30-26 with 13:30 left in the game. Not the first half, the whole game. If the Big Ten wants to start getting better players, they should strongly consider not showing their games on national TV. What 18 year old kid wants to play this kind of basketball?

- Arizona freshman Jerryd Bayless is ridiculous. He's got the speed of Ty Lawson and the explosiveness of Rico Tucker. I'm telling you, assuming Arizona makes the tournament, and it looks pretty likely, they could do some serious damage.

- God, Michigan State sucks on the road. And Neitzel is pulling a Dan Coleman, 1-10 shooting so far against the Badgers tonight.

- 99 total points in the MSU/Wisc game, well under the posted over/under of 124. I think just going under on every single big ten game is the way to go.

- Of course, now that I talk about Arizona, they lose at home to USC by twelve. They are a weird, weird team.

- Cal in basically a must-win game at home against Washington State, falls behind 9-2 in the first 16:35 and haven't gotten Ryan Anderson, their best player and #1 in the country in Offensive Rating among players who touch the ball on 20% of their teams possessions, a single shot. Brilliant.

- Watching the Utah State game on one of the random channels I get (the Altitude channel). Their arena is much more impressive in person. Just saying, you know, in case anybody else out there gets Altitude and was watching the game and thought "That's really not as impressive as WWWWWW said it was that one time."

- Ryan Anderson is currently projected to go 26th in the NBA Draft. He may struggle on defense due to lack of athleticism, but trust me, his offensive game will be just fine and he'll be a steal at 26. The Wolves need to trade up to get him if he's there at 26. Look at these numbers: 22 pts and 10 rebs per game on 51% shooting, including 45% from three and 89% from the line and has scored over 30 points four times this year. Sick.

- Jaycee Caroll of Utah State is shooting 51% from three. And that's with 177 attempts. That is ridiculous.

- At half: UCLA 29, Arizona St 18. Sounds like Big Ten action.

- This is boring. I'm going to give you a link, and I'm telling you not to click on it. It's not porn, and it's totally safe for work, but I'm telling you, do not click on this. Ok. Here it is. Don't click here.

Gophers A Lock For Home Ice!

The Gophers travel to Alaska to take on the Eskimos of Alaska Anchorage this weekend. The beauty of this weekend is the Gophers should find themselves all alone in 7th place when they return to Dinky town Sunday with an outside shot at 6th place. MN currently sits in 8th place, 1 pt behind UMD. The bulldogs play a Saturday/Sunday series vs Eva Braun's Babies (Sioux). I would guess Eva's babies would sweep the Dogs seen as how CC destroyed UMD at the DECC last weekend and UND has to sweep if they want any shot at the WCHA. I am predicting a 4-1 Sioux win on saturday and a 3-0 Sioux win on Sunday. I am also predicting Joe Finley starts another fight after a period/game and once again skates and hides while his teammates clean up his mess. Joe Finley is Basically the Bogart and Woz of college hockey. Just like Bogart and Woz, Finley tries living the life but then ends up pissing the bed and puking all over himself when the real fun starts. Then leaves his teammates/friends to clean up for him.

Mankato heads to Colorado Springs to play the CC Tigers this weekend. Mankato currently sits 4 pts ahead of the Gophers. Once I am predicting CC will sweep at home this weekend. A sweep this weekend will clinch at least a share of 1st place in the WCHA for the Tigers. I also think Mankato just plain sucks so I say CC 5-2 Friday and 4-1 Saturday. With this result and a Gopher sweep of the Eskimos they would now be tied for 6th place in the WCHA. The Gophers also hold the tie breaker over Mankato so that would move them ahead of Mankato as far as home ice seeding are concerned.

The last major series of the weekend has Wisconsin traveling to St. Cloud. No matter what happens here one of these teams is going to finish in front of the Gophers. I would guess we will see a split here, but don't be surprised if St. Cloud pulls off a sweep. Wisconsin struggles scoring goals so if St. Cloud can get up and down the ice this weekend they could pull sweep and lock themselves into home ice. A sweep by St.Cloud would leave the Gophers 1 pt. behind Wisconsin heading into the final weekend of the WCHA. Wisconsin is on bye next weekend so a Gopher split with the Bulldogs next weekend would lock MN into the #5 seed in the WCHA tournament and bring a match up with either Mankato/Duluth/Wisconsin to Mariucci. All of those series which the Gophers would probably be favored in at home. St. Cloud wins 4-2 Friday and Wisconsin wins 3-2 Saturday. F’ing Badger, Gophers now need to sweep UMD next weekend at Mariucci to get #5 seed.

UAA has won just one game since Dec. 29, so they clearly suck worse than the movie Jumper. Last weekend, they were swept at Denver and in the prior two weekends they were swept by both Minnesota State and St. Cloud State. The Eskimos are last in the WCHA in the standings, scoring offense and scoring defense. Their penalty kill is also last in the conference, so the Gopher power play will have a good chance to keep building on last weekend. Basically AA is the Northwestern of college hockey. They just plain suck.

The Gophers are coming off their best offensive performance since the opening weekend of the year. Some of that had to do with Wisconsin's shaky goal tending, but either way the Gophers played fairly well all weekend. The two biggest questions for me heading into this series are the play of the real baby Jesus (Kangas) and can Barriball's continue scoring goals.

Kangas really and truly sucked Saturday night. He sucked to a level that even made Frazee chuckle. It would be nice to see him rebound Friday night and post a shut out or a 1 goal game so everyone can forget about last Saturday. I can't believe I am typing this, but a Frazee sighting on Saturday might be a good idea also. Kangas has played a ton of games down the stretch and a night off might be good for him. It would also be nice to give Drinky a game before playoffs begin incase he is needed. God a feel like dirtier now then I did when I watched the shower scene in The Crying Game.

Barriball getting on a hot streak would be huge for the Gophers going down the home stretch. He showed flashes of the old Barriball last weekend and the goal he scored Saturday was the type of goal that can really give a player a ton of confidence. At least I am running with that theory and hoping it fits here. If Barriball continues to score and the 2nd and 3rd line keeps chipping in a goal or two the Gophers will actually be a tough team to deal with. Lets just see if they can keep this up for three or four weeks.

You see it is all quite simple! The Gophers are a lock for home ice in the WCHA which will give them an at large birth in the NCAA. And you all thought this season was for nothing! The Gophers rule! Actually they still really suck and I have a slight feeling they will wet the bed this weekend and will either lose or tie one game in Alaska. Hopefully that happens on Saturday with Frazee in goal so I can come on here next week calling him fat and drunk. Gophers win 3-1 Friday and 3-2 on Saturday.

If the Gophers lose this weekend I am seriously done with Lucia and calling for the immediate hiring of Dean Blais.

Also, I thought this was actually comical. It is a fight in a Woman's college hockey game. How sad is this? . Shockingly a Sioux team is involved.

Lastly. Dawg, how can you expect us to take a movie recommendation seriously when you state moma dawger loved Jumper??? She is the same person who told me Four Letter Lie was the greatest band ever. You just lost all credibility as a critic. P.S. How was that tube sock last night?

Gophers, Michael Clayton suck

I've been trying all last night and this morning to muster up the energy to write about how the Gophers suck, and I'm really having trouble caring anymore. When Spencer Tollackson is your most effective player, why even bother?

After a solid first half, the team completely fell apart. Dan Coleman had an excellent first half, actually being aggressive and showing as if maybe, with a whole four games left in his career, he would finally tap his potential. I mean, I saw him play tough defense and box out IN THE SAME GAME. It was like, whoa.

Alas, it was not meant to be, as he reverted back to invisible Dan the second half, scoring only two points, not boxing out, and generally looking lost. Chris Kramer stole the ball and was heading down court for a layup, with only DC back, and instead of sprinting to get ahead of him and play actual defense, he jogged at the same pace as Kramer so he could try to go for the tomahawk block from behind. It's dumb crap like that which has bugged me all year.

I know the team isn't physically up to playing with the big boys, and I know that going into Purdue pretty much wasn't a winnable game anyway, but it's the stupidity and the laziness and the lack of passion that drives me crazy. Yes, they scrap and they play tough defense (some of them) and they "don't give up", but they do some many stupid things and play such lazy defense at times that they often put themselves into "don't give up" situations that they don't need to.

I'm just really frustrated right now. And I think Lawrence McKenzie might be certifiably crazy.

Also, here's a movie review for you. Michael Clayton is boring. The story is pretty decent, but it's like the decided to take the slowest, boringest way possible to tell it. And how the hell did Tilda Swinton win an Oscar for that garbage? She's on screen for all of like, ten minutes total. Overall a pretty damn big snoozefest.

And here's a real picture of Summer Roberts (and I've probably seen every episode of the OC and I don't care who knows it).

Notre Dame +8 @ Louisville (W)
Maryland +2 @ Wake Forest (W)
Wright State +12 @ Butler (W)
Arizona -5 vs. USC (L)
Michigan State +5.5 @ Wisconsin (L)
UCLA -6 @ Arizona State
California +4 vs. Washington State
Northern Arizona -6 vs. Weber State (L)
Mich St/Wisconsin UNDER 124 (W)
LA Tech/Utah St OVER 135.5
Arkansas State -3.5 vs. UL-Monroe (W)

Yesterday: 5-5
Season: 360-341


Let me first start by saying that this movie is not one that I would generally tell people about. Its too risky. Its a sci-fi/action flick that appeals to a relatively small group of people. Plus the opinions will be polarized. Either love it or hate it.

My movie recommendations have been flawless since college (in college I couldn't believe that everybody didn't think Woody Allen was funny). I've learned from my mistakes and have steered clear of recommending sci-fi's and comedies in general.

Jumper stars Darth Vader (Hayden Christenson),Summer "Sweet Bottom" Roberts (Rachel Bilson) and Mace Windu (Samuel Jackson). Eveybody who has seen a preview knows this much but you may not realize that its directed by Doug Liman (Swingers, Go, Bourne Identity). In college I think Bogart once told WWW this elaborate lie about how there was going to be a Swingers Sequel. WWWW bit on it hook, line and sinker. Bogart was/is a jackass.

This may be hard to imagine but Darth (Hayden) and Mace Windu(Samuel) turn out to be enemies once again. Darth is a Jumper which means he can appear any place that he can imagine. Mace Windu is whats called a Palladin. Jumpers and Palladins are sworn enemies. Like me and Dane Cook/Family Guy. Which is fine but the Jumpers don't know why Palladins are always up in their business like Glen Close from Fatal Attraction. Mace (Sam) is always saying some religious bull spit right before he attempts to kill a Jumper. This easiest way to explain this is Jumpers are like free spirited Americans and Palladins are like Muslims on a Jihad trying to suck the fun out of everything. There is simply no good explanation for this conflict.

I am a big fan of the action, the original concept, "Sweet bottom" Summer Roberts, Darth and the promise of more Jumpers to come. This was just the beginning of what one can only hope will be at least a trilogy.

The slams on this movie is that there wasn't enough background provided, Hayden can't act (we know we've all seen Star Wars) Rachel can't act (we know we've all seen The OC, right guys?) and Samuel Jackson is quoting scripture again and weilding what appears to be a light saber. This movie seems very familiar because of the people in their type casted roles but the concept is unique. I'm going out on the limb to say that I fall in the camp that loves this movie. The theater was packed with 13 year olds that were cheering which was a little obnoxious (I mean awesome) but I loved the movie anyways.

In conclusion if you are able to get past the lack of any background, some horrible acting you will be entertained. Just to be safe mabye catch the matinee to save a couple bucks.

Final thought, I had to drag Momma Dawger to this movie kicking and screaming. She complained all the way through the movie. Then told me the movie was just alright. I later find out from her friend at work that she loved it. Its a fun entertaining movie that you don't want to admit to anybody because of how gay it looks.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Something to break up the Gophers basketball posts

Since the next post is probably going to be WWWWWW's Purdue-Gophers recap, I figured something should get posted between it and the preview.

And because the Big Ten Network sucks, I ended up with Duke-GA Tech on my TV instead. It reminded me that Greg Paulus, turnover machine, is one of my least favorite players ever. He's no Brian Cardinal though. Here's my all-time favorite Paulus highlight.

Coming soon from The Sidler, a Twins pitching preview.

Purdue vs. Minnesota

Suddenly, I realized the Gophers are playing at Purdue tonight, and it is my duty to at least make a half-assed attempt at a preview. Then I realized, I haven't really seen much of Purdue this year. A top 20 team in both polls, at the top of the Big Ten Standings, #29 in RPI and #24 in Pythagorean winning percentage, and I haven't seen them much. I was hoping one of the other Gopher bloggers would have a preview up, so I could just reword their preview and sound smart, but no such luck. Although over at From the Barn there was this nugget of goodness, which reads, in part, "Forward Dan Coleman has taken his game to the next level under Smith" which, quite literally, made me burst out laughing.

But on to the stuff that matters. Purdue is really having a tremendous season at 21-6 and 12-2 in the Big Ten. They are a lock for the NCAA tournament, with a shot at a top 3 seed, and have an impressive win over Louisville on the resume (although the Cards weren't at full strength that game). The Boilers had one of the top recruiting classes this season, and although there were some growing pains - losing at home to Wofford, giving away a game at Clemson - they are here, they're queer, deal with it.

The Boilers have a lot of guys who can hurt you, and are balanced in all areas. Such as:

9 guys play at least 15.6 minutes (Gophers 7)
7 guys score at least 5.6 points (Gophers 6)
8 guys grab at least 3 rebounds (Gophers 4)
6 guys dish at least 1.2 assists (Gophers 6)
5 guys nab at least 1 steal (Gophers 5)
7 guys have made at least ten threes this season (Gophers 5)

So they're balanced, and they're deep. The good news, is the gophers are also balanced and deep. Change around some of those arbitrary cutoffs used above, and they could probably match up even better. It's my personal opinion that Purdue is more talented, as Robbie Hummel and E'Twaun Moore are both lightyears better than anybody the Gophers can trot out there, but we've seen this Minnesota team grind it out with better teams and keep it tight until they blow it at the end.

That's once again what will probably happen tonight. I'm fully expected a close, entertaining battle right down until about the 6 minute mark where the Gophers decide to run around like a bunch of idiots while Purdue calmly takes a close game and turns it into a 10 point win.

A couple of keys for the Gophers:

1. Three pointers. Yes, Minnesota is an excellent three point shooting team, tops in the Big Ten and 55th in the country at 38.1%. However, there is a tendency to fall in love with the three and stop getting in the paint. Against an excellent defensive team like Purdue (18th in defensive efficiency) who is also mediocre defending the three (160th nationally) it will be even easier to fall in love with the three ball. I'm not saying to avoid it, because I think it will be a key if the Gophers want to pull off an upset tonight, but there has to be some penetration and transition baskets as well.

2. Turnovers. Both teams are outstanding at turning their opponents over, with Minnesota ranking 8th and Purdue 9th in the country. However, Purdue is excellent at not turning it over on offense, 42nd in the country, while the Gophers come in 175th. If the Gophers can't take care of the ball, this is going to be disastrous.

3. The Big Three. Not the Gophers' guys. The Gophers don't have a big three. They have like a 1.5 sometimes. I mean Moore, Hummel, and Keaton Grant from Purdue. Although the Boilers are balanced, those are the top three scorers and the guys who scare you. They can all blow up, and blow up in a hurry, and all three shoot better than 40% from three point land, where the Gophers are only ok defensively. Moore has scored in double digits 9 straight games, including 28 against Northwestern. He can be limited, however, as Indiana held him to 3-15 shooting and Michigan State to 5-14. The Gophers will have to do the same. Keaton Grant can score inside and out, and had back-to-back 22 point games against Illinois and Iowa last month. I expect Westbrook to lock him down. Robbie Hummel, on the other hand, is an absolute nightmare matchup. He plays his best against good teams (17 against Indiana, 21 against Wisconsin, and a 24 point/11 rebound monster against Michigan State) and ranks 12th in the entire country in offensive rating. He comes in at 128.1, and according to Pomeroy "anything over 120 is excellent." He shoots 51% overall, including 46% from three and 86% from the line. Let's just hope the Gophers aren't good enough to keep him interested.

So there you have it. Purdue 77, Minnesota 67.

Penn State -3.5 vs. Iowa (L)
Miami +8.5 @ Clemson (L)
Cincinnati +11.5 @ Pitt (W)
Tex Tech/Texas A&M UNDER 131.5 (L)
Illinois State -3.5 vs. Creighton (W)
UAB +1 @ UTEP (W)
Baylor -4 @ Colorado (W)
Kansas -13.5 @ Iowa State (L)
Duke -15 vs. Georgia Tech (L)
West Virginia -5.5 @ DePaul (W)

Yesterday: 5-4
Season: 364-336

Golf Again

Grand Slam is back with a hot, fresh new golf post:

Last week was a very busy one for Grandslam, so i apologize for not giving you your weekly fix of the PGA tour in the words of grandslam. I realize the majority of you would really like for me to talk about Phil Mickelson's fat tits, but for the few of you who appreciate good golf talk.....I am back.

If I were to have previewed the Accenture Match play last week, the title would have read "How easily will Tiger destroy the field this week?" Now i know that's easy to say after watching what he did, but come on!!! Is there really honestly anyone else on the tour that can challenge this guy?? If you say yes, you are the stupidest human being alive. Yes, i know he was trailing in matches against J.B. Holmes, Aaron Baddeley and KJ Choi, but look what happens. You give this guy the smallest little chance to get back in the match, and he will bury your ass. We, in our lifetime will never see an athlete dominate his/her sport like Tiger Woods. We should all be blessed to see something like this in our lifetime. In 27 Accenture Golf Championships, Tiger Woods has won 15 of them. The only other player to win more than one is irishman Darren Clarke with two. Is it possible that every event Tiger enters this year, that he can win?? As for the evert being played opposite the Match Play, Brian Gay won the Mayakoba Golf Classic down in if we really gave two shits about that.

This week the tour will head east to start its annual Florida swing, beginning with The Honda Classic. Quite frankly, i don't have alot of insight to this tournament like others. Personally i would like to get the hell out of this cold state and be playing golf myself. This will be the section where you put in your own preview for the week. That being said, my pick to win this week is the young talented Luke Donald, he has won here before and might as well notch his first of the year here!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


Three quick baseball notes:

1. There's some Twins chatter buried in the post below this one (the Williamson one) that I recommend taking a look at if you're a Twins fan.

2. I heard on the radio that Phil Humber gave up four runs to Concordia-St Paul today. I don't know how many innings he pitched, but it was a six inning scrimmage, so probably 1-2. ERA of between 18.00 - 36.00 against Concordia. TAKE THAT NEW YORK.

3. Baseball America released their list of the Top 100 Prospects. Of note: #35 Deolis Guerra and #52 Carlos Gomez. That's it for the whole Twins' system.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Another Legend Leaves Minn

Kevin Garnett. Torii Hunter. Randy Moss. Johan Santana. And now, it looks like Troy Williamson is about to be traded. It seems the Jaguars, current home of Mike Tice, are willing to give a second day pick (rounds 4-7) to get him from the Vikings.

I have to imagine the Vikes couldn't say yes to that one fast enough. Second day pick? I'm thinking they'd jump at the chance to trade Williamson for a bag of balls or an empty beehive at this point. Remember how he said he'd caught something like 10,000 balls last off season to help his inability to catch the ball? Didn't work.

Essentially, the Vikings traded Randy Moss for whomever they take with this pick they're getting from Jacksonville. It better be good.

As a nice parting farewell, here are some of Williamson's career highlights:

Farewell. We are accustomed to losing our legendary players, having them plucked one by one away from our great state, ripping a little of our soul out each time. Just add Williamson to the list of heartbreakers and move on.

Virginia Tech -5 vs. Boston College
Ohio State +8 @ Indiana
Tennessee -3 @ Vanderbilt
BYU +4.5 @ New Mexico
So Illinois +1 @ Bradley
Drake -2 @ Missouri State

Yesterday: 3-2
Season: 359-332


Let me first start by saying that this movie is not one that I would generally tell people about. Its too risky. Its a sci-fi/action flick that appeals to a relatively small group of people. Plus the opinions will be polarized. Either love it or hate it.

My movie recommendations have been flawless since college (in college I couldn't believe that everybody didn't think Woody Allen was funny). I've learned from my mistakes and have steered clear of recommending sci-fi's and comedies in general.

For the record I really enjoyed this movie. It stars Darth Vader (Hayden Christenson),Summer "Sweet Bottom" Roberts (Rachel Bilson) and Mace Windu (Samuel Jackson). Eveybody knows this much but they may not realize that its directed by Doug Liman (Swingers, Go, Bourne Identity). In college I think Bogart once told WWW this elaborate lie about how there was going to be a Swingers Sequel. WWWW bit on it hook, line and sinker. Bogart was/is a jackass.

This may be hard to imagine but Darth (Hayden) and Mace Windu(Samuel) turn out to be enemies once again. Darth is a Jumper which means he can appear any place that he can imagine. Mace Windu is whats called a Palladin. Jumpers and Palladins are sworn enemies. Like me and Dane Cook/Family Guy. Which is fine but the Jumpers don't know why Palladins are always up in their business like Glen Close from Fatal Attraction. Mace (Sam) is always saying some religious bull spit right before he attempts to kill a Jumper. This easiest way to explain this is Jumpers are like free spirited Americans and Palladins are like Muslims on a Jihad trying to suck the fun out of everything. There is simply no good explanation for this conflict.

I am a big fan of the action, the original concept, sweet bottom Summer Roberts, Darth and the promise of more Jumpers to come. This was just the beginning of what one can only hope will be at least a trilogy.

The slams on this movie is that there wasn't enough background provided, Hayden can't act (we know we've all seen Star Wars) Rachel can't act (we know we've all seen The OC, right guys?) and Samuel Jackson is quoting scripture again and weilding what appears to be a light saber. This movie seems very familiar because of the people in their type casted roles but the concept is unique. I'm going out on the limb to say that I fall in the camp that loves this movie. The theater was packed with 13 year olds that were cheering which was a little obnoxious (I mean awesome) but I loved the movie anyways.

In conclusion if you are able to get past the lack of any background, some horrible acting you will be entertained. Just to be safe maby catch the matinee to save a couple bucks.

Final thought, I had to drag Momma Dawger to this movie kicking and screaming. She complained all the way through the movie. Then told me the movie was alright. I later find out from her friend at work that she loved it. Nuff said.

Devron Bostick

I ended up being unable to attend yesterday's game and was also unable to watch it. I do have it on Tivo, but I'm pretty sure I don't need that aggravation and will just delete it. Instead, let's talk about something more interesting.

Gopher signee Devron Bostick is ranked #4 on rivals list for Junior College players for 2008. If you're like me, you figure that all sounds good, but what does it really mean? Rivals has bank rankings for 2007 and 2006, so let's look at some similarly ranked JuCo players from those years to get an idea of what we can expect from Mr. Bostick.

First, we'll look at the 2007 list. These are players in their first year of D-I ball, which is what Bostick will be next season. The top 6 look like this:

1. Dustin Scott - College of Charleston
2. Nemanja Calasan - Purdue
3. JaMarcus Ellis - Indiana
4. Charlie Coley - Charlotte
5. Steve Harley - Nebraska
6. DeAndre Thomas - Indiana

Looking at the three big ten guys, Ellis is having the greatest impact, playing 31 minutes per game and averaging 7 points and 7 rebounds. The other two are filling roles for their team, Thomas averaging 11 minutes and 4 points and Calasan 18 minutes and 7 points. Indiana and Purdue are top teams, and with more talent it may be more difficult for a JuCo to make a true impact. Let's look at the other three guys in the top 6.

Dustin Scott is interesting, as he was recruited by Florida, Louisville, and Tennessee (among others) coming out of Juco and chose to go to C of C. He has made a big impact for the Cougars, averaging 10 points and 7 rebounds per game, and leading the team in both steals and blocked shots. He has a good chance to help lead Charleston into the tournament - but probably not until next season as they are very young.

Charlie Coley is helping Charlotte out, averaging 8.5 points and leading the 49ers with 6.2 rebounds per game. And Steve Harley is vital to Nebraska, third on the team in scoring with 8.4 points and contributing a handful of rebounds, assists, and steals as well.

Going back to 2006, the top 7 look like this:

1. Sonny Weems - Arkansas
2. Jerome Habel - San Diego St
3. Hernol Hall - Cincinnati
4. Takais Brown - Georgia
5. James Davis - Lamar
6. Carlos Williams - Charlotte
7. Blake Young - Kansas State

I've actually written about Davis before, and yes, he is the former Gopher recruit. After averaging 16 points and 8 rebounds per game two years ago, he's no longer on Lamar. I don't know if he only had the one year of eligibility left due to bouncing around schools so much, or if he got kicked off again, but I'd certainly take those stats from Bostick.

I don't know what happened to Hernol Hall, as he never played a game for Cincy, and the guy ranked 3rd at the time, Albert Weber, never signed with anyone but the rest of the guys seem to have had at least one good year. Sonny Weems is leading the Razorbacks in scoring with 15.3 ppg and chipping in 4.6 rebounds. Takais Brown is no longer with Georgia, but, similarly to Davis, he led the Bulldogs with 14.2 points per game and 5.7 rebounds. Jerome Habel of SDSU is in the same boat, where he isn't on the Aztecs this year but had a good year season, averaging 11 points and leading the team in rebounding with 6.2 rebounds per game. Carlos Williams was a role player on Charlotte last year, and, you guessed it, isn't on the team this year. Finally, Blake Young is a major contributor to a very good K State team this year, having started every game, after being a role player last season.

Looking down the 2006 list, there are plenty of other solid guys on there, such as Mike White (#9), Othello Hunter (#13), Cyrus Tate (#15), Abdullai Kuso (#20), Stefhon Hannah (#25), and Mike Taylor (#55). Of course, the list also includes Limar Wilson at #23, Miles Webb at #87 and Engen Nurumbi at #100. So...yeah.

So what does that mean? Well, as long as Bostick gets here, and I haven't heard anything to lead me to believe he won't, he should be anywhere from a rotation double-digit minutes type guy to a leading scorer type. Hopefully, leading scorer type.

Marquette -2 @ Villanova
Texas/Kansas State OVER 148.5
San Diego +11.5 @ St. Mary's
Portland +17 vs. Gonzaga
Texas +3 @ Kansas State

Yesterday: 8-2
Season: 356-329

Take A Bit Of That Bucky

After Saturday nights 4-4 tie it is clear Jeff Frazee needs to be removed from the Gophers roster immediately. It was obvious that he is clearly sabotaging Kangas. That is the only way you can explain the game Kangas played Saturday night. Not even Frazee on his worst night would have let in the 3 turds Kangas let in Saturday. Just for the Bear, Kangas was going to get hammered with a couple "You Stupid F'ing C*nt" calls after the 4th goal, but luckily for him Jr. Snake was in attendance. Clearly Kangas is still only Jesus and has yet to turn into god.

Once again the Gophers scored 4 goals on Saturday night and two of those where PP goals. Some of that had to do with Wisconsin's goalie eating a piece of Kansas's shite pie, but the Gophers actually looked like they had a clue on the power play. It was also nice to see Jay Barriball score a pair of goals this weekend. His two goal explosion now gives him as many goals as WWWWWWW guy RJ Anderson (5). That is really sad. Hopefully Barriball can mop up a little on the gimps from Alaska and get himself on a bit of a roll.

Derek Peltier really needs to hurry up and graduate. Not only can he not play at a high level, now he thinks he's some type of enforcer. Peltier is constantly taking cheap shots at players as they skate away and taking stupid penalties. His penalty on Saturday night in the 2nd period was a classic example. Some badger throws a clean check into a Gopher player next to the Gophers bench and for some reason Peltier skates over and takes a roughing penalty? Nice captain. This kid is just plain awful and the worst captain I can remember in my 25 years of following the team. Next to Kangas playing like Jeff Frazee and the Gophers trouble clearing the puck out of their end, Peltier was a true black eye on the weekend. Ya he scored a nice goal Friday, but even a blind Squirell finds a nut once in a while. The only good thing about Dawg showing up to the bar at 6:45 was being late to the game and not having to applaud Peltiers goal.

A message to the guy who sat in front of me during saturdays game. I get Jesus is cool and he is your savor, but you can't make your entire family (wife and 2 kids) say grace before eating hotdogs at a sporting event. Your kids already look like they have no shot in life unless Dungeons and Dragons becomes a professional sport. Making them say grace at sporting events is just going to get them heckled which will lead to them hating you even more than they already will.

Overall the weekend was a success for the Gophers. Some how the Gophers are sitting at #14 in the Pairwise Rankings and need to move up one more spot to make the field of 16 for the NCAA tournament. Currently UMD is in 13th, but they are in complete free fall mode. Duluth hoists UND this weekend at the DECC while the Gophers travel to play the ever mighty Seawolves of Alaska Anchorage. If the Gophers do not take a minimum of 4 points out of this weekend they can piss off. Alaska wouldn't win the MN High School tournament so there are no excuses for not sweeping this series. Especially when they know a sweep will put them into position for the NCAA and give them a first round opponent much easier than Denver, UND or CC.

Lastly, I was told about this "great" band called Four Letter Lie. I have been making fun of said person for a couple days about how this band sucks and a monkey banging on two empty soup cans sounds better. So yesterday I decided to check them out on the internet and give them a shot. Lets just say that is 15 minutes of my life I will never get back. First of all, their website has not been updated since 2/12/07, but they do have a myspace page???? Unless you want everyone of your fans to be 16 years old or younger get a regular website. For everyone else on this blog, please do not tell me a band is the greatest band ever when their upcoming concerts are going to be played at venues such as Jerry's Pizza and Bulldog Pizza. Also, Four Letter Lie is going to be rocking in "Rogers", MN on April 3rd at Showcase Skate Park???? That is 10 minutes from my house if anyone wants to have a pre concert party at my place! Actually, they could move the concert to my basement and the only reason I would go down there would be to shut off the power to my house. These guys seriously suck and whichever band member is trying to look like Jon Bon needs his ass kicked.

P.S. WWWWWWW, Carman is mine, so back off my man bitch!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Minnesota vs. Penn State

I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time on a preview for this crap game. Penn State has been garbage on the road since Claxton went down, losing all five road games including a fifteen point loss at Iowa. The Gophers are an eleven point favorite, and that seems about right. Minnesota 72, Penn State 60.

How awesome was that Tennessee 66, Memphis 62 win for the Vols. You don't get to watch a #1 vs. #2 that often, and this was truly a classic with former Hawkeye Tyler Smith hitting a nice turnaround in the lane with 28 seconds left to give Tennessee the victory. After getting out to a huge start, Memphis cooled off and let Tennessee back into it. The Tigers biggest weakness didn't help them hear, as they shot 8-17 from the free throw line. Awesome, awesome game, and it really got me all fired up for March. Tennessee is truly a contender for the title, and I'm very happy to have them at 30-1 to win it all.

Almost as interesting was the BracketBuster matchup between Drake and Butler, with Drake coming out on top. I wasn't sure what to make of either of these teams, but Butler was a veteran squad with sweet sixteen experience and some very good wins this season, so I figured they were for real. This means Drake is better than I thought, and could scare somebody in March.

Oklahoma State knocked off Kansas, in a game the Jayhawks usually save until the tournament, a bunch of cheaters and cry babies from Indiana managed to rally to beat Northwestern in a tough game, and Texas A&M somehow managed to lose at home to a shitty Nebraska team. A&M is a fraud. First round exit.

As far as good wins, a bunch of bubble teams go huge victories yesterday. Villanova followed up a win earlier in the week over WVU with an upset over UCONN. Baylor beat Kansas State in a high flying offensive shootout, and Arizona won at extremely overrated Washington State. The biggest win may have been Kent State beating St. Mary's. That win may be enough to get Kent State in the tournament even if it doesn't win the MAC tournament, as the win over the Gaels joins wins over George Mason and Illinois State.

Wisconsin PK @ Ohio State (W)
Louisville PK @ Pittsburgh (W)
Xavier -4 @ Dayton (W)
North Carolina -15.5 vs. Wake Forest (W)
Minnesota -11 vs. Penn State (L)
Notre Dame -6.5 vs. Syracuse (W)
California +10 @ Stanford
Wright State +9 @ Illinois State (W)
Wisconsin/Ohio State UNDER 120.5 (W)
LaSalle/Duquesne OVER 165.5(L)
Wake/North Carolina OVER 159 (W)
Yesterday: 8-12
Season: 348-327

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Shocking News: Sampson a Cheater

Wow, Kelvin Sampson resigned because he's a cheater. What a shock. Basically Indiana gave him a ton of money, knowing he's a cheater, and said "Hey, don't cheat." Stupid. Reminds me of a story by wise old Aesop:

'One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.

The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.

Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.

"Hellooo Mr. Frog!" called the scorpion across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"

"Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill me?" asked the frog hesitantly.

"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!"

Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!"

"This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!"

"Alright do I know you wont just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the frog.

"Ahh...," crooned the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!"

So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.

Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.

"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"

The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog's back.

"I could not help myself. It is my nature."

Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river. '

Eerily similar to the Indiana/Sampson situation, no?

Nebraska/Texas A&M UNDER 125 (W)
Princeton/Dartmouth UNDER 118 (L)
K State/Baylor OVER 158.5 (W)
Arkansas +4 @ Kentucky (L)
Oregon +14 @ UCLA (W)
Kansas -11 @ Oklahoma State (L)
Michigan State -16 vs. Iowa (L)
Oral Roberts -2.5 vs. Creighton (L)
Arizona +6.5 @ Washington State (W)
VCU +2.5 @ Akron (W)
George Mason +1 @ Ohio (L)
UW-Milwaukee +10.5 @ Bradley
St Johns +22 @ Duke (L)
UNLV -6 @ Wyoming (W)
Michigan +1.5 vs. Illinois (W)
UCONN +1.5 @ Villanova (L)
Cincinnati +14 @ Georgetown (L)
Maryland +3 @ Miami (L)
Washington -4.5 vs. Arizona State (L)
Tennessee +6 @ Memphis (W)
Butler -5.5 vs. Drake (L)

Season: 340-315

Friday, February 22, 2008

Gophers 4, Badgers 2

Despite me giving Mrs. W every opportunity to tell me not to go to the hockey game tonight, she never took the bait and I ended up attending. It was my first ever Gopher hockey game, and I have to say I enjoyed myself quite a bit. Thoughts:

1. We ended up getting there about 3/4 through the first period, because Dawger for some stupid reason couldn't show up at Sally's until 6:45. I will say the whole crowd at Sally's was extremely irritating, and it was almost enough to make me root for the Badgers. That whole table in the corner, with your "Let's Go Gophers" and "Jesus hates the Badgers" chants - really not funny. You're kind of a bunch of idiots.

2. Whilst waiting for Dawger to show, me, $nake, and The Guy who once punched Goldy had a few drinks and spent the time talking about their kids and my kid on the way. Apparently we're forty years old now (although Snake actually might be, not sure).

3. Mariucci Arena is really not all that impressive. It reminds me of several smaller basketball arenas (Utah State, Illinois-Chicago, North Texas) and that's not saying much. Maybe that's how hockey arenas are, I really don't know, because I pretty much hate hockey. Dawger told me that the UND arena is really awesome, and they serve beer there, so that's a definite plus. The atmosphere however was pretty outstanding. A lot of spirit, and not the kind that is annoying and gay, the good kind. Good fans, and when the Gophers scored a goal it got very loud, Williams Arena levels. High marks for the fans there.

4. I'm on record as saying that hockey fights are really, really, really stupid, and I stand by that. However it turns out that the chippy little shoves, pushes, and checks and what not after the whistle I am a big fan of. Maybe it's the primal man instincts or something, but that was really fun to watch. Hockey is a physical game, and I see where that is important and part of the sport. Not fights though. I will still never, ever get a boner from a hockey fight, unlike the average Minnesota bar patron watching a Wild game.

5. Although I missed the first goal because Dawger was late for some stupid reason, I still got to see three Gopher scores and two from the faggy Badgers. Since Snake said there'd probably be only four goals scored all weekend, I figure I'm pretty lucky to see some action. The 8 minutes I watched on TV that one time was like watching soccer, so I was pleasantly surprised. Maybe I'm some sort of catalyst for excitement. Wouldn't be the first time.

6. I know I don't understand hockey, other than from NHL 93-99 for Genesis and Playstation, but there was a penalty tonight that I totally don't get. Some homo from the Badgers passed it around the blue line, and the Gopher guy got his stick on it and knocked it towards the Badgers end. He started skating after it, and the Badger guy leveled him and that is apparently some kind of penalty. I thought you could just skate around and knock people on their asses indiscriminately as long as you don't "cross check" or "slash." Not so. Hockey is kind of a girly sport I guess, where you can't check or it's "interference." Incidentally, video games led me to believe interference is when you run into the goalie when he has the puck. Not so.

7. We were unfortunate to have a group of Badger fans sitting directly behind us. I have to say, they whine more than Gopher basketball fans. Every single thing and every play they were yelling for things to be called, most of which I've never heard of, but I assume it was how Gopher hoop fans generally want all contact to be a foul on the other team, and are pretty sure no Gopher in the history of the world has ever traveled. I also heard one of them ask another how to spell "valentine", but I'm pretty sure that's par for the course for Wisconsonians.

8. I asked Dawger who the best players on the Gophers were, and he told me Wheeler and Barriball. The fourth Gopher goal of the night was a very pretty pass and shoot between those two, so that was cool. Also it sucked that Wisconsin didn't pull their goalie so I could see more scoring.

9. My first favorite Gopher hockey player is, without question, Mike Carman. He not only scored a goal, but after a play was whistled dead and some Badger dude was getting chippy, he actually leaped at him, leaving his feet and taking him down with a nice flying tackle reminiscent of Tito Santana. Let's just say, it moved. Then, with about 9 seconds left in the game or less, he knocked some doof Badger guy into the boards just to rub it in. I didn't expect to like a guy who was chippy and fighty like that, but he also proved he can score. Mike Carman is clearly the man.

10. Lastly, a big thank you to $nake for taking me to the game, in exchange for a Miller Lite. I had a really excellent time. I can see myself attending as many as one hockey game each year going forward. Plus, anytime I can watch the Gophers kick the piss out of Bucky in anything is a good time. And I can say that hockey is less gay than I thought. It's now less gay than fanny packs.

P.S. Guys. When you go to the bar, take your tie off. Seriously. There's no reason to keep a tie on at the bar. The only reason you're still wearing it is to try to impress people, but everybody knows you're only wearing it to impress people so you look like a douche. Nobody wears a tie when they don't have to, and we all know it. Just trying to help.

P.P.S. When I was typing Mike Carman as a label, it showed up as having been used already. Apparently, $nake is a big Carman fan as well. All I can say is back off man, he's mine.

Badger Hunting

Sadly the Gopher hockey team is back in action this weekend after mercifully getting a bye last weekend. Bucky Badger comes to Mariucci for this weekends series. This series could have less scoring than the Gophers vs Sioux series 2 weeks ago. Right now I am putting the over/under for total goals in the series at 3.5 and putting my entire pay check on the under.

The most exciting thing about this coming weekend is WWWWWWW will be taking in his first ever Gopher hockey game. I received a voicemail from WWWWW while he was in New Jersey telling me how much he was looking forward to the game. For a guy who claims to hate hockey WWWWWWW sure was excited. Keep it in your pants WWWWWW only 10 hours until the puck drops.

Wisconsin heads into this series on a bit of a hot streak. The have moved up to #10 in the polls, are in the top half of the WCHA and have worked their way into NCAA consideration. The biggest reason for Wisconsin’s resurgence is their improved play on Defense. Wisconsin is back to its old ways of playing tight D and relying on counter attacks for goals. This is the reason I am predicting a 3 to 4 goal explosion for the entire weekend. Wisconsin is still led by Freshmen Kyle Turris who now has 29 points in 28 games. Turris was drafted 3rd overall by the Coyotes in last summers NHL draft. Junior Ben Street leads Wisconsin in goals with 12 and Turris’s line mate Patrick Johnson is third on the team in scoring with 19 points.

I really have no interest in breaking down what the gophers need to do this weekend. Basically score more than 1 goal per game and continue playing good defense. It looks like Jay Barriball will not be playing this weekend because of the ankle injury he sustained in the Friday night game in Denver. There is an outside chance he could play, but all signs are he will rest another week. If you want more of a preview just read one of the previous hockey posts.

Edit 10:31 AM. Lucia just said Barriball should play this weekend. With only three goals this year I am not sure if that is good news or not? I guess anything is better than watching The Todd's guy Schack play.

How pathetic are the Gophers at scoring goals this season??? This all but sums things up. The Gophers are currently tied for last in the WCHA in scoring with Alaska F'ing Anchorage???? How is that possible??? The Gophers power play has dropped to last in the league and they are now scoring at below a 10% clip on said power play. To make things worse "if that is possible" the Gophers now sit in 9th place in the league. Maybe Garth Snow was right? "Bring back Woog!"

My prediction for the weekend is actually a Gopher sweep. They have everything to play for and if they want any chance of making the NCAA tournament they need to get two wins this weekend. Gophers win 2-1 Friday night and 1-0 Saturday and hockey Jesus (Kangas) takes 1 more step towards becoming hockey god.

P.S. WWWWWW, the question Moma W should have asked is "why do they call it the barn yard and 8 racists dress up like Gorilla’s for every game?" I now want to beat the Gorillas more than flag guy. Nice fans!

Can it be next year now?

Can nine good minutes wipe out 31 minutes of crap? I say no.

The Gophers won, but it was ugly, and not a good game. Plus, it was Michigan. Yes, Michigan had won three straight, including a win over Ohio State, but they're still the Wolverines. The only bright spot I can even think of was Lawrence McKenzie, who essentially won the game for the Gophers. He ended up with 26 points on 9-13 shooting, including 7-10 from three, and really played an excellent all around game, despite four turnovers. And it's a damn good thing he was there, because every other part of the game last night was crap. Really, really ugly.

Turnovers: Some of the most absurdly stupid decisions ever, as well as some piss poor execution. Dan Coleman continues to baffle me. He let yet another easy pass slip through his hands which would have led to an easy layup. Damian Johnson had a rebound bounce off his hands and go out of bounds. Seventeen total turnovers against a team that is terrible at turning people over, ranking 233rd in the country in that stat. Just a horrible job taking care of the ball.

Rebounding: Offensive rebounds for Michigan kept them in the game, as the Gophers didn't have the hustle, effort, or fundamentals to keep them off the boards. Ekpe Udoh did a hell of a Rodman impersonation, coming away with 7 offensive boards and only 4 points. The Wolverines ended up with 18 offensive rebounds, coming away with one on 38% of their missed shots.

Offense: Essentially consisted of everyone standing around watching the guards launch three pointers. They ended up with 24 three point attempts and 23 two point attmepts. Now, it worked this time, as they shot 51% overall and 42% from three, but this is not the way to go about your business. Thank God for McKenzie, because without him the rest of the team went only 3-14 from the arc. The sad thing is, I don't even know if I can complain about this, because what the hell else are they going to do. Coleman was once again nowhere to be found, hiding in a hole somewhere. Spencer continues to be Spencer. Bursts of energy and scoring mixed into a mostly pedestrian game. When he knocked down that miracle three pointer, the guy announcing the game said, "That's his game, he's a face up shooter." Um. No he's not. Not even a little bit. The scariest part of the night was when Tubby threw out a lineup of DJ, Hoffbauer, Shamala, J-Williams, and Payton. That's completely terrifying. Who wins in a scrimmage: Those five, or a team of Archambeau, Ryan Wolf, Jim Shikenjanski, Bob Martin, and Kevin Nathaniel? Someone should set that up.

Defense: The numbers end up looking ok here, but that's basically due to the fact that Michigan shoots like your average half-time contestant from the student section. They seriously had open shot after open shot and were just tossing bricks up there. It was like a high school wrestling team at open gym (it's a known fact wrestlers can't shoot). Michigan ended up shooting only 32% and 19% from three (this was deflated by end of game desperation heaves), but if you saw the game, you couldn't help but notice how open Michigan was nearly the entire game. Add in a completely ineffective press that was mercifully pulled off before the game got out of hand, and this was not the team's best defensive effort.

Seriously, this game was brutal. Against a good team, the Gophers lose by 30.

Oh, and Mrs. W had a good question. If Williams Arena is the Barn, how can the stupid section be the Barnyard? It's in the Barn. Not outside. In her words, "That's really stupid."

Lastly, a quick non-Gopher topic is that Arizona has gone ahead and gotten themselves right in a bad place after losing at Washington last night. A very good team, they have now fallen to 16-9 overall, and 6-7 in the Pac 10. They still have the #1 strength of schedule and are 18th in the RPI, but can't keep losing winnable games. They have five games left, but two of those are at Washington State and at UCLA. Arizona might end up being left out of the tournament, and that would be a shame.

Thursday, February 21, 2008


I'll write something entertaining tomorrow. Promise. Well, probably not entertaining, but at least full of words. Probably Gopher related.

South Alabama +6 @ Western Kentucky (W)
Duquesne +10.5 @ Xavier (L)
Notre Dame -5 vs. Pitt (W)
Dayton -1 @ LaSalle (L)
UMass +6 @ Rhode Island (W)
Arizona PK @ Washington
Mid Tenn St/Denver UNDER 114.5
Arizona St/Washington St UNDER 118 (W)
Duquesne/Xavier OVER 157(L)
UMass/Rhode Island OVER 166 (W)

Yesterday: 7-8
Season: 336-313

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


Never got a chance to post this, but this was today's card. We took out one of our biggest clients tonight and got shlockered off scotch and what not. Good night. Free too.

VCU -3.5 (W)
Charolotte -1.5 (L)
Cincy -7.5 vs. South Florida (L)
WVU -1.5 (L)
Butler -4 (W)
Wisconsin -1.5 (W)
K State -3 (L)
Duke -7 (L)
Drexel/Will & Mary UNDER 120 (W)
UNC/NC State OVER 153 (W)
Auburn/Tenn OVER 155 (W)
Fordham/St Louis UNDER 116 (L)
Wisconsin/Illinois UNDER 118 (L)
Pacific -2 (L)
Cal Poly -1.5 (W)
BYU -7.5 (W)

Eh, 7-8. Unimpressive.

Also, I don't know where Grand Slam's golf post is. He's supposed to email it to me, and yet, I don't have it. Hopefully we can get it tomorrow early.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

And here we go

Alright, so I had three drinks (absolut/tonic) with dinner (filet mignon, caesar salad), another at the bar, and have a few in my room, so I might as well type things because otherwise I get bored.

- I'm sitting here watching Kentucky kick the piss out of Georgia, and why not, I picked Georgia. The gambling gods have not been kind lately. I can't even tell you how many games I've lost by 1 or .5 points. Example: last night, we have Syracuse +10.5 vs. Louisville. It's a pretty tight game most of the way, but Louisville makes a bit of a run towards the end to make it dicey. With 10 seconds left, the Cuse miss a shot down 9, and decide not to foul. Well, instead of Louisville letting the clock run out, they chuck it down court for a meaningless dunk. Meaningless in game terms, but it takes the margin of victory from 9 to 11 and a win to a loss for us. This is happening all the time lately. I swear it's not happening in our favor, at all.

- At least the under in the Iowa/NW game looks good. It's 7-3 with under 10 left in the first half. What a crapfest. That god I don't have teh option to watch that game here.

- I don't even know one player on Georgia. Does Levi Stukes still play there?

- Answer: No. And looking at their roster, the only guy whose name I recognize is Sundiata Gaines. Man, sometimes I wish I did actual research before picking games.

- I swear Patrick Patterson (of Kentucky) is like 30 years old. He's like Danny Almonte. Or Lebron James.

- So I have to go watch a hockey game on Friday. $nake is making me. It will be my first ever Gopher hockey game. I've been to a couple Wild games, but they were with my former employer, on the company dime, and we mostly just drank the whole time. I also went to a North Stars game a long time ago. That was fun. We bought a bunch of mini-sticks and started playing knee hockey in my parents' basement when they weren't home. Broke a lot of shit. Was fun though.

- Another attendee of the big hockey game on Friday will be the guy who once grabbed Goldy Gopher at a game and started punching him. He's kind of a hero of mine.

- If you're wondering where Ryan Amoroso (Burnsville kid) ended up after transferring from Marquette, it's San Diego State. I actually almost went there, but stayed close to home for my high school girlfriend. Thanks Whore!

- The McDonalds All-American Rosters are out. No Gophers of course, which is fine. The only one of these guys I've seen play is Iman Shumpert, heading to Georgia Tech. Somehow one night I caught a high school game on one of the Myriad Fox Sports Channels I get, heard his name, and decided to keep watching. Really not very impressed. Of course, I also saw Tayshaun Prince play in the McD's game and thought he'd get broken in half and transfer within the year to a smaller school. I'm not exactly the world's best talent evaluator.

- Speaking of the World's best talent, how about Rico Tucker? Aside from getting his coach fired, which From the Barn attributes to not utilizing Rico's talents (see, I'm not the only one here people), he's having a solid year. Third on the team in points and leading in steals and assists, while shooting a solid 75% from the line. Sure, he leads the team in turnovers and is only shooting 28% from three, but when you have to do everything for your team, those things happen. Ask Allen Iverson. When he plays more than 33 minutes, Pepperdine is undefeated. When he doesn't start, the Waves are 1-7, with that only win vs. something called Hope Academy. They are 4-2 when he scores more than 15 points, and their 5-16 when he doesn't. Rico Tucker = the Allen Iverson of college basketball.

- NW/Iowa 17-15 at half. Are they testing out no shot clock games?

- Nevermind. Combined shooting is 11-44. 25%. Great teams here.

- Whoever showed me the trick where you fill the sink in your hotel room up with ice and keep your beer in there should be recognized as a hero. I just don't remember who it was.

- Dan Coleman has scored in single digits in only 7 games this year. Pretty good, right? Doesn't seem right. Every single one of those games though, other than the games against Central Michigan and Cal-Riverside, which don't matter at all, was a game where he needed to step up. Florida State, twice against Michigan State, Illinois, and Wisconsin. Rebounds in those games (the ones that mattered): 5,2,3,4,3. Not to mention the 10 point/1 rebound performance against Wisconsin. Dude just disappears when they need him. I don't know, maybe I'm too hard on Coleman. It's certainly possible.

- Wow, Baylor chokes away what would have been a big win over Oklahoma on the road by fouling on a three pointer, up three, with ten seconds left. Oklahoma makes the free throw, but fouls, and Curtis Jerrels misses both free throws with 1 second left to lose by 1. I like Baylor a lot, but they seem to blow every big chance. Huge game with massive tournament implications. Both OU and Baylor are listed as "work left to do" to get into the tournament on ESPN's Bubble Watch. Gophers not included.

- NW and Iowa have really turned it on. 49-45 Iowa with 3:21 to go. That easy under win has turned a bit interesting. Not the good kind.

- At 104 with 19 seconds left. Please no overtime.

- Finished at 53-51 iowa. How fun would that game have been to watch?

- This sucks. I'm sitting here with nothing to do, and there's no late game. It should be mandatory that every single night of the week the Pac 10, WCC, Big West, WAC, or Mountain West have a late game. And it's on TV. Think of the poor business travelers people.

- I'm going to have to miss the Michigan game Thursday, due to traveling. But I'll tell you what happens. The Gophers come out flat, and DeShawn Sims destroys them in the first half (not Manny Harris because L-Dub shuts him down.) Down by 9 at half, the Gophers make a run to start the second half and cut it to two at one point, place goes crazy. Then Minnesota does a bunch of stupid idiotic crap and the Wolverines capitalize and end up winning 71-65. Book it.

- Speaking of Wolverines, go vote in the poll to the right.

- Georgia somehow manages to only lose by 6, leading to a 5-1 night. Maybe the tide is turning. I doubt it.

- For tomorrow: VCU -3.5, Charolotte -1.5, Cincy -7.5, WVU -1.5, Butler -4, Wisconsin -1.5, K State -3, Duke -7

- I should probably have more to say but I'm tired and have a big important meeting tomorrow and it's 11:34. Wow. Only 11:34. I should be embarrassed. Please accept this picture of Heidi Klum as Jessica Rabbit as an apology.

From Jersey

I'm in New Jersey this week. Unfortunately, I'm with a bunch of other people from my job, which means I most likely won't get drunk alone in my room and randomly write the stupid things that come to mind. Or will I?

Georgia +7.5 @ Kentucky
Northwestern/Iowa UNDER 115
Baylor +6 @ Oklahoma
Drake -7 vs. Bradley
Northwestern +8.5 @ Iowa
San Diego State PK @ Wyoming

Yesterday: 3-6
Season: 224-206

Monday, February 18, 2008

Big Ten Rankings

A quick thought before I get to this week's rankings:

Bump both Duke and Georgetown down just a bit, as both have weaknesses that could be exposed. I watched Duke get shredded - again - by quick guards who can penetrate. That could kill them in the tournament. Not quite as big a concern, but Georgetown's Roy Hibbert got killed by Syracuse's Arinze Onuaku. Onuaku was only able to play 25 minutes due to fouls, and thus only scored 13, but put on a clinic everytime he got the ball in the paint against Hibbert. It was so bad, that at one point Hibbert was fronting Onuaku. Hibbert stands 7-2, while Onuaku is 6-9. He was fronting him. I said it last year, and I'll say it again: whoever drafts Hibbert is going to get an all-time bust of a player. Yet he's still projected late lottery. I don't get it.


1. Purdue - I don't see any way you don't have them at the top. Leading the Big Ten and have won 11 straight games. With only 2 tough games remaining, they could end up with a pretty nice seed in the NCAA tournament. Not sure if they're tournament ready, but then again, I didn't think they'd own the Big Ten either.

2. Wisconsin - What I like about the Badgers is they just take care of business. Not a single bad loss on their record, although I'm sure they expected to beat Purdue in Madison. They could surprise in the tournament.

3. Indiana - Obviously they drop like a rock if D.J. White is hurt for the season, which wouldn't exactly be a total shock. The guy is an absolute stud, the best player in the Big Ten, and more fragile than Fred Taylor. It looks like it's just a sprain, and that's good news. As good as Eric Gordon and the other guards are, there's nobody on the team that can even come to close to stepping in for DJ.

4. Michigan State - This team freakin' baffles me. After a very impressive non-conference showing, they've turned into a middle of the road Big Ten team. Losses to Iowa and Penn State are absolutely brutal for a supposed top team. They're only road wins are against the two worst teams in the conference in Northwestern and Minnesota. They're either making a run to the elite 8 or getting bounced in round 1, more likely the latter.

5. Ohio State - No team is more firmly entrenched in their spot than the Buckeyes, even after the loss at Michigan yesterday. I don't see them moving up, or down, anytime soon. I also don't see them getting in the tournament, meaning only four from the Big Ten this year. They still have time to do some damage, with Wisconsin, Purdue, and Michigan State coming to Columbus and a game at Indiana, but they'll have to play well. If they end up 2-2 in that stretch, that leaves them 20-11 and 11-7 in a weak Big Ten, with wins against Syracuse and Florida (bubble teams as well) in the NC. Good enough? Maybe.

6. Michigan - Don't look now, but the Wolverines are streaking with three straight wins and have a cupcake of a schedule the rest of the way, starting by going to visit the helpless and hopeless Gophers on Thursday. The one-two punch of Manny Harris and DeShawn Sims is starting to get it done.

7. Iowa - It gets pretty tough to rank teams 7-10, as they're all pretty schizophrenic. I'm going to go with Iowa at the top, as you can pretty much count on them to be tough on their home court, and their defense and style at least makes them a threat to beat teams. Not good teams, but teams, nevertheless.

8. Illinois - I still can't believe how bad these guys are. Weber should probably be fired. Still, a 24 point road win and a 1 point road loss out of any team in this bottom group should have them pretty jazzed.

9. Penn State - Could easily flip them with the Illini, especially since they beat them by 1 at home. I chalk it up to Illinois still be giddy after winning the easiest game in the history of their program.

10. Minnesota - Let's move on. Nothing to discuss.

11. Northwestern - If there was any possible way I could move them up to #10, I would. But there isn't. Worst basketball team ever.

Syracuse +10.5 @ Louisville
Texas A&M +5.5 @ Texas
San Diego +7.5 vs. Gonzaga
Rhode Island PK vs. Xavier
Providence +6.5 vs. Georgetown

yesterday: 3-3
Season: 321-300

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Santana vs. Bedard

Someone somewhere on this stupid blog asked about a breakdown of the Santana trade vs. the Bedard trade. Since I have nothing better to do this afternoon, and there isn't any basketball on until Duke/Wake at 6:30, I'll see what I can do.


They are both 28, actually being born only 8 days apart, so age is no factor. Santana has been one of the best pitchers in the majors, if not the best, for the past five years. Bedard made a major leap into the upper tier of pitchers this season, after steadily improving for the past four seasons, lowering all his metrics year vs. year for that period, topping out with a 3.16 ERA (146 ERA+), .212 OAV, and 11 K's per nine. Compare that to Santana's 3.33 (130), .225 OAV and 10 Ks per. Add in Johan atrocious HR rate this season, and Bedard may have had a better year - although Santana pitched more innings, 219 vs. 182.

This was clearly Johan's worst season since becoming a full-time starter, and he still finished fifth in Cy Young voting, while it was Bedard's best season, and he tied Johan for fifth. Looking at the contracts they signed after the trades, where Bedard went for 1 year at $7 million and Johan went for 6 years, $137 million, Johan is prohibitively more expensive. Johan had a no trade clause, while Bedard did not. I didn't really get this at first, but after looking into it, it appears there are many reasons why Bedard would be more attractive to certain teams. Of course, if they aren't able to hammer out a long term deal with Bedard, it becomes a very costly trade on their end. Bedard should get somewhere in the $100 million range, so certainly not cheap, but not Johan money and he could end up being every bit as good for the rest of their careers. But I doubt it.


OF Carlos Gomez to the Twins vs. OF Adam Jones to the Orioles.

Gomez comes to the Twins and is instantly their number 1 prospect. The bad news is that he wasn't the top Mets prospect, but was #2. Adam Jones was not only the #1 prospect in the Mariners system, but was ranked the #44 prospect in the Major Leagues last season, and, if he hadn't played in the majors too much, would be in the top ten this year (Gomez is ranked 65 this season). Jones is known as a five-star, while Gomez is a four-star. Both have limited time in the majors, where Jones hit .246/.300/.400 in 65 at bats last season and Gomez hit .232/.288/.304 in 108 at bats. Similar, but in the minors Jones hit .314/.382/.586 while Gomez hit .281/.350/.423 in his last full minor league season. Hitting isn't everything, and Gomez is faster, steals more bases, and is generally known as a top flite fielder, but it's pretty clear any way you look at it that the best prospect traded in either deal was Jones.

I forgot to include this when I originally typed it up, but in case the previous paragraph hasn't depressed you enough, the Mariners were supposedly interested in Santana, but pulled out when the Twins asked for Jones. Great.


P Deolis Guerra to the Twins vs. P Chris Tillman.

Guerra immediately becomes the number 2 prospect in the Twins' system. Guerra dominated A ball two years ago, but had trouble adjusting to the jump up to high A. He has pitched in 23 games in high A (22 starts) lasting a total of only 97 total innings - yikes, that's awful - and last season in 21 games there had an ERA of 4.01 and a WHIP of 1.17. He's generally regarded as an excellent prospect, ranking #79 in the top 100 prospects list. He's only 18 years old, and could climb the list, or flame out.

Chris Tillman ranks #44 on the list, and is similar to Guerra since he also got a bit rocked in high A ball, though scouts love him, and is only 19. He's a step ahead of Guerra, however, because Guerra has a great changeup but needs to develop other pitches, while Tillman already has an excellent fastball and curveball. That, as well as ranking 35 spots higher on the top 100 list, give the edge here to the Mariners as well.


P Phil Humber and P Kevin Mulvey to the Twins vs. P Kevin Mickolio, P Tony Butler, and P George Sherrill.

Neither Humber nor Mulvey are anything to get hyper about. Both rank as three star prospects and project to back of the rotation types. They have each had some minor league success, and will start the season most likely in AAA. I expect both to get a shot with the big club at some point, but neither will become a star. Humber is the #5 in the Twins organization, Mulvey is #8.

Mickolio and Butler are a step below Humber/Mulvey, with Butler a two-star prospect ranking 8th in the Mariners system, with Mickolio not ranked in the top 11. Butler is a big lefty who can throw 94 mph, and could develop into a star level pitcher some day. Mickolio isn't expected to be much.

At this point, it looks like the Twins win this category, but the difference is in the third pitcher, reliever George Sherrill. Sherrill is thirty, has been in the majors for four years, and certainly isn't considered a prospect. What he is, is a shut down middle reliever who really came into his own last season. In 46 innings, he allowed 28 hits while striking out 56, with an ERA of 2.36 and a WHIP of 0.98. In 128 career innings pitched, Sherrill has allowed just 10 home runs. It may seem weird that a crappy team like the Orioles would want a middle reliever, but if they're smart, they'll turn around and deal Sherrill. If he can even come close to repeating his numbers from last season, he'll be a valuable commodity at the trade deadline and could net the O's yet another prospect.

So, in conclusion, this sucks.


Michigan +6 vs. Ohio State
Boston College -5 vs. Virginia
Miami +4 @ Georgia Tech
St Louis +8 @ UMass
Duke -9.5 @ Wake Forest
UCLA -5.5 @ USC

And I still hate the Gophers.

Yesterday: 5-8
Season: 318-297

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Stupid Gophers

After a pretty good first half which saw the Gophers trailing Wisconsin 27-26, they fell apart in the second, ultimately losing 65-56.

Ok, fell apart might be a bit strong, but they essentially turned their offense into the three guards (Westbrook, McKenzie, and Nolen) running around the three point line until one of them got "open" for a three pointer. I'd be more critical, but every time a guard penetrated and dished, whichever Gopher big man was the recipient of the pass would either let it go through his hands (DJ) or miss the layup/dunk (Williams). It was to the point where BTN even did a montage of all the easy shots missed by the Gophers. Incredibly frustrating.

The defense fell apart in the second half, as Wisconsin was pretty much able to get to the rim whenever they wanted. Luckily, they weren't shooting the ball well either, and Minnesota had opportunities to make a move but wasn't able to capitalize.

They played tough, and every time Wisconsin seemed to be ready to take control had an answer - up until about the four minute mark.

The Good:
Might have been Lawrence McKenzie's best game. Seemed to finally find that balance between scorer and game manager. Attacked and shot the ball when needed, and penetrated and got the ball to open players when it was available. Excellent game.

The Bad:
Dan Coleman decided once again not to show up in a big game. Finished with 10 points, but five came in the last minute when the game was already decided. If you just watch him he appears lost at times. Landry abused him every time he got the ball on the block, and I saw Butch miss a shot, and rather than block out Coleman just wandered away, letting the rebound come right to Butch and leading to an easy layup. Additionally, when the Badgers scored with 6 second left in the first half, Coleman was closest to the ball and instead of hurrying to get it in to try to get a good shot at the end of the half, he just walked to the ball while the clock continued to run. He's a senior with some talent, and his head is turning him into the most average of the average. He drives me crazy.

The Ugly:
Jon Williams. Forced to play a lot of minutes by Tollackson's foul trouble and Wisconsin's size, and now has me praying Sampson and Iverson can play immediately. Williams was 0-5 shooting, and somehow it was even uglier than that. All five misses were from inside 3 feet, including a missed dunk. He's completely overmatched in the Big Ten, and I don't know if he's fixable at this point.

Overall, this game was very similar to the Indiana and Michigan State games, with the Gophers making it tight but not being able to get over the hump in the end. I guess you could be satisfied with the effort, but I'm pretty god damn sick of moral victories, and tired of stupid play.

Also, for those homers complaining about the refereeing - give it a rest. The game was called evenly, and there were calls missed on both sides. If you have to resort to blaming the refs, you're missing a lot. Don't even bother pointing out the 33 vs. 20 free throw attempt advantage the Badgers add. Think about for just a minute, and remember the Gophers had something like the first ten free throw attempts in the game, and then spent the rest of the contest flitting about the three point line while Wisconsin continually attacked the basket. Use your friggin' heads people.

I'm seriously pissed off right now. I'm going to go try to kill my feelings with beer.

Today's Picks

I'm back with a vengeance:

Syracuse +4 vs. Georgetown (W)
Baylor -2.5 vs. Texas (L)
North Carolina -13.5 vs. Virginia Tech (W)
Wisconsin -10 vs. Minnesota (L)
Louisville -6 @ Providence (W)
Arizona -2 vs. Stanford (L)
Northwestern +8.5 vs. Purdue (L)
Illinois -3.5 @ Penn State (L)
Michigan State +5 @ Indiana
Vanderbilt -5.5 vs. Florida (L)
Texas A&M -13 vs. Oklahoma State (L)
Oklahoma +3.5 @ Texas Tech (W)
Mississippi State -5.5 vs. Arkansas (W)

Yesterday: 1-0
Season: 313-289

Friday, February 15, 2008

Guess Who's Back?

Yep, made it back safe and sound from Pasadena. Was even somewhat responsible, staying out drinking only until 9:30, 11:30, 12:30, and 2:00 the four nights we were there. I deserve all that free booze having to be in meetings from 8am to 6pm for three straight days. Trip Highlights:

1. Kicked a thirty yard field goal at the Rose Bowl. With room to spare. I've now been to the Rose Bowl more than the Gophers in the past 46 years.

2. The free IPOD speaker station they gave us.

3. My team won the Chili Cook-Off. I can't cook, but I was "Official Taster" since I'm a bit of a chili connoisseur.

4. Seeing Keanu Reeves' star on the walk of fame.

5. They rented out Warner Brothers studios, and the second floor of the museum was all dedicated to Harry Potter props.

Of course, with all of this going on, I was completely unable to keep up with any sports at all, other than the text messages from Snacks from the Gopher/Illinois game such as "Wow. The Gophers just plain suck" and "The place just went absolutely nuts when the gophers managed to get the lead down to four. That's how sad this is" and his phone call which consisted of, "It's the eight minute timeout and they're losing by 22. We're leaving."

Also saw the Twins signed Livan Hernandez for one year at $5 million. I like this signing. I'll probably write more at another time, but I'm really tired. I'll be back tomorrow to jabber on while watching the least winnable game in Gopher history against the Badgers.

Marquette -4.5 vs. Pitt

Season: 312-289

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Grades For Hockey Team

- The following conversation took place at Williams are.......Jimmy's Bar during the Gophers vs Iowa game.

WWWWWWW- "Hey Snake, You better turn out a hockey post next week or your fired."

Snake- "But Boss Man, The hockey team is on bye next week."

WWWWWWW- "I don't care I want more hockey. I love hockey. Why don't you do a report card for all the players."

Snake- "I guess I could do that"

WWWWW- Thinking to himself, "God that report card idea is so good I will steal it back and use it for the hoops team. Then Snake will look like a complete ass when he posts his grades at the end of the week."

WWWWW- "Also, I am thinking about granting Dawg blogging rights so he can review movie's. How bad to you think they could be?"

Snake- "Ummmm??????Ahhhhh??????Ummmmmm????????"

- Wednesday afternoon.

Snake- Thinks to himself when he sees WWWWW's hoops report card, "God I hate WWWW and his irrelevant blog. I am going to punch him in his slightly over weight gut next time I see him for sand bagging me. What an ass."

Snake- Thinks to himself after reading Dawgs blog, "Man, Dawgs review really sucked. Did he really pick Balls of Fury for his first post?" "God that was bad, it was like he blanked on bits after the first paragraph."

- Here are the grades I have given the Gophers for the season thus far. Thanks again for stealing my thunder WWWWWW! Hope you like your F'ing hockey report card.

Kangas and Wheeler (A)

Rest of team (F)

Frazee (F-) "Leave the program already!" "You Suck!"

W, There are your grades you indian giving SOB.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The Lone Gopher Highlight

Personally this was one of the most disappointing losses in a long time. Illinois overachieved considering their god awful season thus far and the Gophers, in my opinion, underachieved considering they were at home, had a much better conference record, and something to play for (NCAA bid).

In hind sight this game shouldn't have come as such a suprise. Illinois was 2-9 in conference play heading into last nights game but 8 of their 9 losses came against the top 5 teams in the conference. IU needed double OT to scrap out a win last Thursday at Illinois. I was hoping that the Illini would come out emotionally drained from such a tough game in which they pissed the game away at the charity stripe (.47 FT %). Needless to say, Illinois owns the Gophers and can always count on us for a quick pick me up. We are like their late night booty call that they can always count on no matter the circumstances to have their way with. Either our place or theirs, whatever is most convenient for them.

The Gophers didn't start out quite as flat as they did against Sconi and OSU. They kept in within 10 for the majority of the 1st half and cut the lead to 6 at half.

Then all holy hell broke loose in the 2nd half. The gophers couldn't buy a bucket and Illinois couldn't miss. Illinois was considered an athletic team that couldn't shoot (.438 FG %, .061 % FT % and .311% 3P%). Against old Dr. Feelgood their numbers improved dramatically (.59 FG%, .708 FT% and .538 3P%). Illinois' lead went from 4 to 25 in like 5 minutes. I wanted to gauge my eyes out with a Buffalo Wild Wings plastic fork.

The Gophers didn't force many turnovers (11) and didn't capitalize on the few the few they did force. They were just never able to sustain any momentum. Bottom line is the Gophers aren't a very good team and have overachieved most of the year. Tubby has squeezed all the juice he can from this lemon of a team. I can take comfort in the fact that we didn't lose to NDSU in basktetball this year.

This is just what we needed going into our annual road trip to Madison. This completely demoralized team may lose by 50 this Saturday. Accompanying us this weekend will be The Woz. One of my all-time greatest antagonists. There is nothing more in life he enjoys then seeing me suffer. The happiest years of his life were 1997 - 2001 because the Twins were at rock bottom, the Gophers basketball team suffered a near death sentence and the Vikings lost in the NFC Championship twice. My next report may be a live blog from a Madison jail cell where I await arraignment for stabbing The Woz.