WCHA Preview

This just came in via fax from Senior Snake, who is in a meeting but took the time to put this together any way.  As usual, I have no idea who any of these people are, but I'm sure Snake does and he's kind of a hockey savant, so I'd go right ahead and listen to him if you know what's good for you.

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The College hockey season started last weekend with a couple non-conference meaningless games.  The true kickoff to college hockey starts this weekend with several big games around the country.  None bigger than the lovable Gophers heading up to the University of We Hate Indians and Jews (UND).

Minnesota enters the 2009-2010 season with plenty of things to prove after a very disappointing 2008-2009 season.  The biggest disappointment from last year was not making the NCAA tournament with the regional being held at their home arena.  There has been plenty of BS printed the last couple of weeks about the Gophers being upset and embarrassed about last season.  To improve on last year the entire team stayed in the cities to work out and hangout together all summer.  I am not sure if it will make any difference, but it sounds good in the paper.

The biggest change to this years Gopher team comes from behind the bench.  Assistant coach Mike Hastings became the associate head coach at the University of Nebraska Omaha were he will work with the greatest coach in college hockey (and future gopher coach), Dean Blais.  Hastings was replaced with former Gopher great Grant Potulny.  Lets just say I am not a big fan of this move.  The first reason is Potulny has as much college coaching experience as I do.  Second, this now gives the Gophers an assistant with no experience and another assistant (John Hill) who is a complete worthless tit.  "Thanks again to Coach Hill for the backbone he showed last year in N. Dakota, Pussy!"  I also believe the only reason Potulny was hired was to silence some Gopher boosters.  Lucia has been taking a lot of heat the past couple of years for his failures in the playoffs.  Last year the boosters where really chirping after missing the NCAA tournament and because no member of the coaching staff was an "M" man. I am not sure what having a former gopher as coach really accomplishes but I guess it is important to the old guys who wear gold sweaters to games.

As far as the team goes, the Gophers should be good this year.  I am not ready to say they will be great yet, but they have a chance.  The biggest on ice question mark for the Gophers is in goal.  Kangas came into last season as the 2nd coming of christ, but better and without the stupid sandals.  He ended the year like every goalie since Travis Weber left and thats not good.  If the Gophers want to make the leap back to the promiss land Kangas needs to return to his old form otherwise it will be an up and down season that will most likely end in the 2nd round of the NCAA tournament.  Whats even worse is Kangas has no backup.  Patterson is just another average MN goalie.

The Gophers have plenty of talent and depth at forward this year.  They are led by all world forward Jordan Shroeder.  If Shroeder stays healthy and Jay Barriball finds a way to score those pesky open net goals, there is a good chance shroeder will break the 60 pt. mark.  If you haven't seen Schroeder play this will be your last chance because he will be in the NHL next October.  Schroeders line mates will be Barriball and Mike Hoeffle to start the year.  This has a chance to be one of the best lines in college hockey.  Hoeffle WILL replace Stoa's production.  After the first line we run into a lot of question marks.  There is plenty of talent and NHL draft picks, but none of the players have proven themselves.  There is a lot of chatter about players like Nico Sacchetti, Jake Hansen and Patrick White stepping up this year.  I have high hopes for Hansen, some hope for White and little hope for Sacchetti.  To be brutally honest I think Sacchetti sucks and I would rather watch Jumpers than Nico play.  I am actually looking for Ryan Flynn to have a big year for the Gophers.  I have always thought he looked good when he got the chance to play with descent players.  If he doesn't get stuck the Lucia and Carman all year I see him scoring 30+ points.  Book it.  Other forwards with a chance to contribute are Taylor Matson (my 2011 man crush), Zach Budish and Josh Birkholz.

One thing I am really excited for this season is the Gophers Defensive unit.  They have a great mix of size, strength and skill this year.  I am also excited because Anderson graduated and Kevin Wehrs will most likely play about 8 games all year!  David Fischer and Cade Fairchild should be the leaders of the D this year.  Fairchild has a great chance to be an All American if he reaches his full potential this season.  Fischer seems like he finally figures things out last year and no longer thinks he needs to prove he's a former first round draft pick. Aaron Ness and Nick Leddy have a chance to be the most fun defenseman to watch since Mike Crowley.  Leddy will be a stud in college and the Wild have already stated they don't want to sign him for at least another year.  Sam Lofquist and Seth Helgeson will add the muscle that the Gophers have been missing for a couple years.  Lofquist can be a bit of a clown at times but I think he is going to be a stud once he gets his head on right.  Lofquist is a big, strong, skilled defender who suppossibly has a much needed mean streak.  Brian Schack.  I have nothing to say about him but wanted to add his name for a very special someone.

Over all I really like this Gopher team.  I haven't been able to say that for several years now. Look for them to challenge for the league title and a top 2 seed in the NCAA tournament.  The regional is back in MN this year (Xcel Center) so things are looking good for MN.

DWG Predictions for WHCA Standings
1) Denver- Denver has everything needed to win the league.  Plus I give them bonus points because they hate North Dakota more than the Gophers. Joe Colborne should be a stud.
2) Wisconsin- This is probably to high but the return a great defensive unit.  Biggest question with Bucky is in goal and the sexual preference of there coach.
3) Minnesota- If they can get through the first 8 games with a good record they could finish higher.  They Play UND, Wiso and Denver all in the first 8 games.  Have I mention how good Jordan Schroeder is?
4) North Dakota- This should be about right for these hacks.  They lost a lot of talent and leadership from last year and have 10 frosh on the roster.
5) St. Cloud- Wild card team in the WCHA.  They have tons of offensive talent and have a highly touted frosh goalie.  Question for Suck Cloud is can they defend.
6) UMD- Lost their goalie and top forward but return some very good talent.  Frosh Dylan Olsen is suppose to be the cats ass.  They could also finish higher, but UMD always finds away to fail.
7) Colorado College- Lost everything worth talking about.  This might be high but the bottom 3 really suck.
8) Alaska Anchorage- They finally have some depth and experience.  Plus no huge issues in the program over the summer.  Push for the top half???
9) Michigan Tech- Probably to high but why not.
10) Mankato State- Stealing a bit from the common man here.  Bad team, bad uniforms, bad mascot, bad arena and retarded coach.  All this adds up to last place.

WCHA Player of the Year- Jordan Shroeder
WCHA Defender of the Year- Cade Fairchild or Ryan McDonagh
Frosh of the Year- Drew Shore, Nick Leddy or Dylan Olson
Coach of the Year- George Gwozdecky- Best team, hates all things UND including SSF and puts on a great show behind the bench.  Until Dean Blais is back in the WCHA George should win it every year.

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Thanks Snake.  No doubt Super Sioux Fan will be here shortly to disagree with everything you just said, and probably in a grammatically correct way.  Enjoy your stupid hockey with it's stupid fighting everybody.

Gophers A Lock For Home Ice!

The Gophers travel to Alaska to take on the Eskimos of Alaska Anchorage this weekend. The beauty of this weekend is the Gophers should find themselves all alone in 7th place when they return to Dinky town Sunday with an outside shot at 6th place. MN currently sits in 8th place, 1 pt behind UMD. The bulldogs play a Saturday/Sunday series vs Eva Braun's Babies (Sioux). I would guess Eva's babies would sweep the Dogs seen as how CC destroyed UMD at the DECC last weekend and UND has to sweep if they want any shot at the WCHA. I am predicting a 4-1 Sioux win on saturday and a 3-0 Sioux win on Sunday. I am also predicting Joe Finley starts another fight after a period/game and once again skates and hides while his teammates clean up his mess. Joe Finley is Basically the Bogart and Woz of college hockey. Just like Bogart and Woz, Finley tries living the life but then ends up pissing the bed and puking all over himself when the real fun starts. Then leaves his teammates/friends to clean up for him.

Mankato heads to Colorado Springs to play the CC Tigers this weekend. Mankato currently sits 4 pts ahead of the Gophers. Once I am predicting CC will sweep at home this weekend. A sweep this weekend will clinch at least a share of 1st place in the WCHA for the Tigers. I also think Mankato just plain sucks so I say CC 5-2 Friday and 4-1 Saturday. With this result and a Gopher sweep of the Eskimos they would now be tied for 6th place in the WCHA. The Gophers also hold the tie breaker over Mankato so that would move them ahead of Mankato as far as home ice seeding are concerned.

The last major series of the weekend has Wisconsin traveling to St. Cloud. No matter what happens here one of these teams is going to finish in front of the Gophers. I would guess we will see a split here, but don't be surprised if St. Cloud pulls off a sweep. Wisconsin struggles scoring goals so if St. Cloud can get up and down the ice this weekend they could pull sweep and lock themselves into home ice. A sweep by St.Cloud would leave the Gophers 1 pt. behind Wisconsin heading into the final weekend of the WCHA. Wisconsin is on bye next weekend so a Gopher split with the Bulldogs next weekend would lock MN into the #5 seed in the WCHA tournament and bring a match up with either Mankato/Duluth/Wisconsin to Mariucci. All of those series which the Gophers would probably be favored in at home. St. Cloud wins 4-2 Friday and Wisconsin wins 3-2 Saturday. F’ing Badger, Gophers now need to sweep UMD next weekend at Mariucci to get #5 seed.

UAA has won just one game since Dec. 29, so they clearly suck worse than the movie Jumper. Last weekend, they were swept at Denver and in the prior two weekends they were swept by both Minnesota State and St. Cloud State. The Eskimos are last in the WCHA in the standings, scoring offense and scoring defense. Their penalty kill is also last in the conference, so the Gopher power play will have a good chance to keep building on last weekend. Basically AA is the Northwestern of college hockey. They just plain suck.

The Gophers are coming off their best offensive performance since the opening weekend of the year. Some of that had to do with Wisconsin's shaky goal tending, but either way the Gophers played fairly well all weekend. The two biggest questions for me heading into this series are the play of the real baby Jesus (Kangas) and can Barriball's continue scoring goals.

Kangas really and truly sucked Saturday night. He sucked to a level that even made Frazee chuckle. It would be nice to see him rebound Friday night and post a shut out or a 1 goal game so everyone can forget about last Saturday. I can't believe I am typing this, but a Frazee sighting on Saturday might be a good idea also. Kangas has played a ton of games down the stretch and a night off might be good for him. It would also be nice to give Drinky a game before playoffs begin incase he is needed. God a feel like dirtier now then I did when I watched the shower scene in The Crying Game.

Barriball getting on a hot streak would be huge for the Gophers going down the home stretch. He showed flashes of the old Barriball last weekend and the goal he scored Saturday was the type of goal that can really give a player a ton of confidence. At least I am running with that theory and hoping it fits here. If Barriball continues to score and the 2nd and 3rd line keeps chipping in a goal or two the Gophers will actually be a tough team to deal with. Lets just see if they can keep this up for three or four weeks.

You see it is all quite simple! The Gophers are a lock for home ice in the WCHA which will give them an at large birth in the NCAA. And you all thought this season was for nothing! The Gophers rule! Actually they still really suck and I have a slight feeling they will wet the bed this weekend and will either lose or tie one game in Alaska. Hopefully that happens on Saturday with Frazee in goal so I can come on here next week calling him fat and drunk. Gophers win 3-1 Friday and 3-2 on Saturday.

If the Gophers lose this weekend I am seriously done with Lucia and calling for the immediate hiring of Dean Blais.

Also, I thought this was actually comical. It is a fight in a Woman's college hockey game. How sad is this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZAehXzjG0w . Shockingly a Sioux team is involved.

Lastly. Dawg, how can you expect us to take a movie recommendation seriously when you state moma dawger loved Jumper??? She is the same person who told me Four Letter Lie was the greatest band ever. You just lost all credibility as a critic. P.S. How was that tube sock last night?

Take A Bit Of That Bucky

After Saturday nights 4-4 tie it is clear Jeff Frazee needs to be removed from the Gophers roster immediately. It was obvious that he is clearly sabotaging Kangas. That is the only way you can explain the game Kangas played Saturday night. Not even Frazee on his worst night would have let in the 3 turds Kangas let in Saturday. Just for the Bear, Kangas was going to get hammered with a couple "You Stupid F'ing C*nt" calls after the 4th goal, but luckily for him Jr. Snake was in attendance. Clearly Kangas is still only Jesus and has yet to turn into god.

Once again the Gophers scored 4 goals on Saturday night and two of those where PP goals. Some of that had to do with Wisconsin's goalie eating a piece of Kansas's shite pie, but the Gophers actually looked like they had a clue on the power play. It was also nice to see Jay Barriball score a pair of goals this weekend. His two goal explosion now gives him as many goals as WWWWWWW guy RJ Anderson (5). That is really sad. Hopefully Barriball can mop up a little on the gimps from Alaska and get himself on a bit of a roll.

Derek Peltier really needs to hurry up and graduate. Not only can he not play at a high level, now he thinks he's some type of enforcer. Peltier is constantly taking cheap shots at players as they skate away and taking stupid penalties. His penalty on Saturday night in the 2nd period was a classic example. Some badger throws a clean check into a Gopher player next to the Gophers bench and for some reason Peltier skates over and takes a roughing penalty? Nice captain. This kid is just plain awful and the worst captain I can remember in my 25 years of following the team. Next to Kangas playing like Jeff Frazee and the Gophers trouble clearing the puck out of their end, Peltier was a true black eye on the weekend. Ya he scored a nice goal Friday, but even a blind Squirell finds a nut once in a while. The only good thing about Dawg showing up to the bar at 6:45 was being late to the game and not having to applaud Peltiers goal.

A message to the guy who sat in front of me during saturdays game. I get Jesus is cool and he is your savor, but you can't make your entire family (wife and 2 kids) say grace before eating hotdogs at a sporting event. Your kids already look like they have no shot in life unless Dungeons and Dragons becomes a professional sport. Making them say grace at sporting events is just going to get them heckled which will lead to them hating you even more than they already will.

Overall the weekend was a success for the Gophers. Some how the Gophers are sitting at #14 in the Pairwise Rankings and need to move up one more spot to make the field of 16 for the NCAA tournament. Currently UMD is in 13th, but they are in complete free fall mode. Duluth hoists UND this weekend at the DECC while the Gophers travel to play the ever mighty Seawolves of Alaska Anchorage. If the Gophers do not take a minimum of 4 points out of this weekend they can piss off. Alaska wouldn't win the MN High School tournament so there are no excuses for not sweeping this series. Especially when they know a sweep will put them into position for the NCAA and give them a first round opponent much easier than Denver, UND or CC.

Lastly, I was told about this "great" band called Four Letter Lie. I have been making fun of said person for a couple days about how this band sucks and a monkey banging on two empty soup cans sounds better. So yesterday I decided to check them out on the internet and give them a shot. Lets just say that is 15 minutes of my life I will never get back. First of all, their website has not been updated since 2/12/07, but they do have a myspace page???? Unless you want everyone of your fans to be 16 years old or younger get a regular website. For everyone else on this blog, please do not tell me a band is the greatest band ever when their upcoming concerts are going to be played at venues such as Jerry's Pizza and Bulldog Pizza. Also, Four Letter Lie is going to be rocking in "Rogers", MN on April 3rd at Showcase Skate Park???? That is 10 minutes from my house if anyone wants to have a pre concert party at my place! Actually, they could move the concert to my basement and the only reason I would go down there would be to shut off the power to my house. These guys seriously suck and whichever band member is trying to look like Jon Bon needs his ass kicked.

P.S. WWWWWWW, Carman is mine, so back off my man bitch!

Badger Hunting

Sadly the Gopher hockey team is back in action this weekend after mercifully getting a bye last weekend. Bucky Badger comes to Mariucci for this weekends series. This series could have less scoring than the Gophers vs Sioux series 2 weeks ago. Right now I am putting the over/under for total goals in the series at 3.5 and putting my entire pay check on the under.

The most exciting thing about this coming weekend is WWWWWWW will be taking in his first ever Gopher hockey game. I received a voicemail from WWWWW while he was in New Jersey telling me how much he was looking forward to the game. For a guy who claims to hate hockey WWWWWWW sure was excited. Keep it in your pants WWWWWW only 10 hours until the puck drops.

Wisconsin heads into this series on a bit of a hot streak. The have moved up to #10 in the polls, are in the top half of the WCHA and have worked their way into NCAA consideration. The biggest reason for Wisconsin’s resurgence is their improved play on Defense. Wisconsin is back to its old ways of playing tight D and relying on counter attacks for goals. This is the reason I am predicting a 3 to 4 goal explosion for the entire weekend. Wisconsin is still led by Freshmen Kyle Turris who now has 29 points in 28 games. Turris was drafted 3rd overall by the Coyotes in last summers NHL draft. Junior Ben Street leads Wisconsin in goals with 12 and Turris’s line mate Patrick Johnson is third on the team in scoring with 19 points.

I really have no interest in breaking down what the gophers need to do this weekend. Basically score more than 1 goal per game and continue playing good defense. It looks like Jay Barriball will not be playing this weekend because of the ankle injury he sustained in the Friday night game in Denver. There is an outside chance he could play, but all signs are he will rest another week. If you want more of a preview just read one of the previous hockey posts.

Edit 10:31 AM. Lucia just said Barriball should play this weekend. With only three goals this year I am not sure if that is good news or not? I guess anything is better than watching The Todd's guy Schack play.

How pathetic are the Gophers at scoring goals this season??? This all but sums things up. The Gophers are currently tied for last in the WCHA in scoring with Alaska F'ing Anchorage???? How is that possible??? The Gophers power play has dropped to last in the league and they are now scoring at below a 10% clip on said power play. To make things worse "if that is possible" the Gophers now sit in 9th place in the league. Maybe Garth Snow was right? "Bring back Woog!"

My prediction for the weekend is actually a Gopher sweep. They have everything to play for and if they want any chance of making the NCAA tournament they need to get two wins this weekend. Gophers win 2-1 Friday night and 1-0 Saturday and hockey Jesus (Kangas) takes 1 more step towards becoming hockey god.

P.S. WWWWWW, the question Moma W should have asked is "why do they call it the barn yard and 8 racists dress up like Gorilla’s for every game?" I now want to beat the Gorillas more than flag guy. Nice fans!