Monday, February 4, 2008

UND Wins and Ties, Yet Still Finds A Way To Suck!

Thoughts from this weekends series vs the university of No class. Warning this is going to sound like something right out of Sid Hartman's column.....but unlike Sid this is gospel!

First, Dave Hak-stool (WWWWWW, see what I did there, just like you boss) is a complete clown and his behavior on the bench this weekend reminds me of a crazy little league mom who can't control herself. He is a complete classless ass! Really, giving a ref the finger during a game? I am sure the people of the Sioux tribe really appreciate the way the school represented their name and likeness this weekend. Nice apology also www.startribune.com/sports/gophers/15168841.html. ""I have evaluated and feel terrible about my actions", Hakstol sounds like a complete pussy! This guy needs his ass kicked.

Second, WWWWWWWWW when you steal my material and butcher it like Tubby's Offence please have the decency to give me credit. Plagiarist! I will forgive you because of the Sconny girls. Although one of those girls is really ugly and her friends should burn her face so she never wrecks another one of their photos. Still, A+ work.

Third, North Dakota is by far and away the largest collection of Douche Bags ever collected on one roster. Anyone who watched Saturdays game can see why everyone outside of North Dakota hates that team. I didn't even think it was possible to get thrown out of a game in the first 7 seconds. Now Ryan Duncan holds the record for quickest DQ and the title of worst Hoby Baker winner of all time. Duncans Hoby award makes Gino Torretta's Heisman selection look good.

4th, Joe Finley is a fairy trapped inside a 6-7 mouth breathers body. Honestly, starting a fight in the hand shake line? I don't care if someone said they wanted to mount his mother from behind, you don't do that. Starting a fight in the hand shake line is like booing during the national anthem or not applauding when someone gets hit number 3000. Once the post game scuffle broke out Finley skated around with his gloves and helmet on playing grab ass? What a tough guy! Note to Finley, "If you want to be a real goon you need to take off your gloves and helmet and actually fight. Blake Wheeler made you look like a fool." I can't wait for Finley to pull the shite in the Minor Leagues so someone caves in his neanderthal face. What a twat!

5th, What is the deal with the idiot Sioux fans who wear white jerseys to Friday nights games? I thought that was green out night? If your going to have ridiculous themes like "green out" and "white out" then make sure you follows those simple instructions. Nice fans....idiots!

The highlight of the weekend was Malone getting thrown like a rag doll into the penalty box by a 5-8 ref. Only a ginger would get treated like that.

Lastly, Kangas is Jesus on skates. The only way Frazee should touch the ice again this season is if Frazee spikes Kangas's water bottle. Unless Kangas is so drunk he can't stand on his skates he should never leave the ice. Nice career Frazee, hope you enjoy selling cars!

In conclusion, everything about North Dakota Hockey sucks. Fire Hakstol and bring back Blais! At least Blais's team had goons that knew what it meant to be a goon. Guys who are not proper goons suck.

21 comments:

Dawg said...

I am sick and tired of taking shit for not standing when the most average baseball player off all time ripped his 3000th hit.

I had been at about 30 Twins games that year because they were on the verge of becoming a contending baseball team. There was probably an average of 7000 fans per game that year. It was glorious. We would buy $3.00 upper deck general admission seats and move right behind home plate with no fear of getting asked to move because nobody came to the games. That all changed the night Mr. Ripken came and wrecked my favorite summer activity by drawing out a bunch of memoribilia chasing morons. Losers that hadn't been to game all year but all of a sudden felt compelled to watch this overrated old man get his meaningless 3000th hit. I was sick to my stomach. I had to sit in a crappy seat and pay face value.

Cal Ripken Jr. is a fraud and a slightly above average baseball player at best. He has no place in the HOF and I laughed out loud when he was elected unanimously on his 1st year of elligibility.

His 2 claims 2 fame are that A) He showed up to work everyday (consecutive games started) and B)3184 hits. I'm sure everybody will disagree and continue to stroke his old crank about playing in 3 billion consecutive games but that streak is like the kid that never missed a day of high school and gets some attendance award. You don't name that dork the f-ing Valedictorian because he didn't miss a day of high school. Rather you give him a merit badge and say "Good job dork! Good luck in junior college!".

His other claim to fame was his 3000 hits. Big freaking deal. He played in 18.5 seasons. Thats an average of 172 hits a season. 48 guys had 172 hits last season. He only had 2 seasons of 200 + hits. His career year he batted .323 BA, 34 HRs, 114 RBI's, 210 hits, .940 OPS. If he would have averaged that I would say he was a hall of famer. Unfortunatley his career averages are dracitcally lower then that across the board. .276 BA, 23 HRs, 91 RBI's, 172 hits, .787 OPS.

If there wasn't a name attached to those stats it would look identical to Micahel Cuddyer.

Sorry Cal, but we are going to have to ask you to please take your unimpressive streak and 3000 hits and take a hike. Here is your perfect attendance merit badge. We need to make space for a bona fide Hall of Famer, Bert Blyleven.

snake is an ass said...

Snake your an ass and Hakstol is a Golden God. And white #95 jersey's rule even on Fridays.

snake is a super ass said...

ps, your a twat

Peter Gammons said...

Cal is an average player? That might be the most idiotic statement ever typed on this blog. Also, Bert wouldn't have great numbers if he hadn't pitched forever so if you plan on using that argument apply it to Bert also.

Sid Jr., You forgot to mention he won two MVP awards, AL Rookie of the year, won a world series, played in 19 all star games (only AL player in the history of Baseball with 2 All Star MVP's), won 2 gold gloves, 8 silver slugger awards and just for fun won the 91 home run derby. In 1990 he set the MLB record for best fielding percentage in a season at his position.

Also,Those lifetime numbers you rattled off are hall of fame for a shortstop. He hit 20+ homeruns for 10 consecutive years which was nearly unheard of for a shortstop when he did it. You would know this if you understood baseball and the demands of different positions. Here is a quick list of his records and awards for you. Bert wishes he was 1/10 the player.

1982: American League Rookie of the Year
1983: American League Most Valuable Player
1983: American League Silver Slugger Award (SS)
1984: American League Silver Slugger Award (SS)
1985: American League Silver Slugger Award (SS)
1986: American League Silver Slugger Award (SS)
1989: American League Silver Slugger Award (SS)
1991: American League Most Valuable Player
1991: MLB All-Star Game Most Valuable Player
1991: American League Gold Glove Award (SS)
1991: American League Silver Slugger Award (SS)
1992: Roberto Clemente Award
1992: Lou Gehrig Memorial Award
1992: American League Gold Glove Award (SS)
1993: American League Silver Slugger Award (SS)
1994: American League Silver Slugger Award (SS)
1995: Sports Illustrated magazine's "Sportsman of the Year"
1999: Ranked Number 78 on The Sporting News' list of the 100 Greatest Baseball Players
1999: Elected to the Major League Baseball All-Century Team.
2001: MLB All-Star Game Most Valuable Player
2001: Ranked third greatest shortstop all-time in the The New Bill James Historical Abstract.
2007: Elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame by 98.53 percent of voters. The highest percentage of votes ever for a position player, as well as third highest overall.
Most consecutive games played at 2,632
Most home runs by a shortstop at 345
Most double plays by a shortstop, American League, at 1,682
All-time leader in MLB All-Star fan balloting (36,123,483)[16]
Most MLB All-Star Game appearances at shortstop (15) - 1983-1996, 2001
Most consecutive MLB All-Star Game starts (17)[17]

Also, There has never been a unanimous selection for the hall of fame. When I say never that means even before christ walked the earth. You call yourself a baseball fan? Get a clue!

WWWWWW said...

Dawg - You are utterly and completely clueless here. I'm a little upset I didn't get here first to point out just how asinine your post was before Peter Gammons.

dawg said...

1983 MVP was an f-ing joke. He was 18th in HR's 17th in RBI's and 7th in BA. He did play in every game that year and B-More made the playoffs.

He legitimately had a good year in 1991 in which he won the MVP. I recognized that as his only good season in my previous comment.

The rest of your argument is sh@t. You include prestigious awards such as Silver Sluggers (who recognizes this as an actual award?) Roberto Clemente Award (most charity work), Rookie of the year (Hrbek got robbed) and all-star game MVPs? Thats the type of meaningless crap people list when they don't have numbers to back it up.

Dawg said...

PS Gammons you left out how many ESPY's and Peoples Choice Awards he had. Maybe that would persuade me into believing he was anything more then a a slightly above average hitter.

WWWWWW said...

I don't want to spend a whole lot of time here, because your argument is ridiculous, but here's a couple of points:

1. Do you understand what the Silver Slugger award is? It's for the highest batting average at your position. It's a pretty big deal that he led all shortstops in batting average 8 times.

2. 1983 was shit? He had an .888 OPS, which was fifth in the league. He also finished first in runs, hits, doubles, extra base hits, second in total bases, and third in runs created, while knocking in 102 rbi. AS A SHORTSTOP.

3. One of the best fielding shortstops of all-time, with a career .979 fielding percentage, including an incredible .996 in 1990, where he had 677 chances with only 3 errors.

4. No less an authority than Bill James considers Ripken the third best shortstop of all-time.

5. Most homeruns all-time by a shortstop.

6. 9 seasons with an OPS+ over 110

7. Career .336/.411/.455 in the postseason.

8. I get the feeling you think the hall should be filled with nothing but outfielders and first basemen since they're the best hitters. Seriously, I thought you watched a lot of baseball growing up.

Dawg said...

Correct me if I am wrong but doesn't Alex "Hot Pants" Rodriguez have the most homeruns by a short-stop? He had 346 by my count prior to joining the Yankees.

In other news, I believe the gophs were underdogs against PSU. They haven't lost any games they were favored and have won at least 1 game they were the underdog.

WWWWWW said...

The number I found for Ripken was 353, so he's got A-Rod by seven, if our numbers are right.

I forgot about the PSU game. Whatever. I don't care anymore.

Peter Gammons said...

Don't have statistics to back it up??? Cal is statistically one of the two best short stops ever? That includes D and O. You lost all credibility when you acted like the silver slugger was a throw away award. Honestly, has this guy ever watched a baseball game before???

Also, Cal got hit number 3000 around April 15th. I am guessing that didn't destroy your summer of love very much since the Twins had played about 10 total games by that date. Anything else you want to throw out and see if it sticks? Stick to basketball chatter pal!

Peter Gammons said...

P.S. You are aware that people look at fielding statistics also?

I Heart P. Gammons said...

It was their 6th home game of the year, so you're right, most of them probably hadn't been there all year. There were 18,745 "Memorabilia Chasing Morons" on 4/15, 37,138 open seats, hardly a full house.

"Summer of Love," too good.

dawg said...

I told you queers it was a packed house for 2000. There was 10k more people there then normal. If fielding stats got you into the HOF then how do you explain Jim Kaat and his 16 gold gloves to go along with his 283 W's being left out?

Wizard of Oz said...

The same way I would explain Ozzie Smith getting in. 283 = 17 wins short of the hall. Jim Kaat is just another good but not great pitcher, just like Bert. Still not sticking!

I Heart P. Gammons said...

4/15/00 was a Saturday night, with an attendance of 18,745. The average Saturday attendance in 2000 was 19,514. The "Memorabilia Chasing Morons" came out at -4% rate that night.

dawg said...

Thanks you just proved my point that Cal Ripken was not a great hitter but was still elected to the Hall of Fame "almost" unanimously.

Ernie Banks is the greatest short stop of all time without a doubt. His career years are all when he was playing short stop. Later in his career he switched positions because he was a team player and realized he didn't have the range he once did. Unlike that selfish SOB Cal Jr. They basically had to drag his old ass over to 3rd base

Dawg is right said...

WWWWWWWW, You have never been so wrong about a player. Cal Ripken is loved because of his streak and he is white. Otherwise he is just another good player, not great. If Cal would have played in Milwaukee and not had the streak you would never hear about him unless you talked to Packer/Brewer fans. This is another case of your I love whitey syndrome.

Ripken = G-Man without the bible.

joe said...

I agree with dawg - the rest of you are idiots.

Dawg is gay said...

Okay first off Cal Ripken is awesome, dawg your an idiot. But who gives a shit,I thought this was a hockey blog and you fags turned it into Cal Ripken 101.

WWWWWW said...

It's all sports all the time, but it seems baseball talk really brings the chatter out. There was a Delmon Young post that ended up with like 48 comments or something ridiculous like that.