Gopher Hockey Still Sucks

After showing signs of turning the corner three weeks ago in Grand Forks the Gophers came crashing back to earth this past weekend at the Mariucci Classic. The glass half full fans will say that the Gophers where out manned this weekend because of the WJHC. That argument could have been used on Sunday night had the Gophers been playing a good team like Boston College. Instead the Gophers played two shit teams in RIT and Air Force and only managed a tie. The fans who actually have a clue and live in a world with a sun, clouds and rational thinking will say this Gopher team is a heartless, below average team who looks to be mailing in the season at this point. Never a good thing in December!

The effort level at Mariucci on Sunday night resembled the attendance, half ass. With the stands just over 50% full the Gopher responded with about the same effort level. The atmosphere sucked, both teams sucked and if I hadn’t been drinking with W since noon I would have left and driven home after the 2nd period. I figured I would do the streets of Minneapolis a favor and sober up a bit longer before jumping back in the mini with my LT jersey on and white knuckling it 35 miles home. W, please tell me again why you chose to meet at Monte’s in SLP????

It is getting harder and harder to watch this team play. The first line of Wheeler, Barriball and Gordon continue to work hard and generate scoring chances, but none of them can score on a consistent basis. Wheeler missed a wide open net in the first couple of minutes of the game and Barriball also missed a wide open net in the 2nd period that would have put the Gophers up 2-1. Ben Gordon had several chances in front of the net but has decided the best way to try and beat a goaltender is by shooting the puck directly into the logo on his jersey. I am not sure I would take this approach to scoring, but Gordon has been doing it all season so there must be some reasoning to his approach.

The 2nd best line for the Gophers was Tom Pohl- Drew Fischer- and whoever else filled in with them. Fischer had several chances in front of the net and Pohl did a good job of working hard and getting in Air Forces way all night. Hot Rocking Tommy Pohl even scored the Gophers 2nd goal of the game. I can now say I saw Bo Jackson hit the longest home run in the history of the Metro Dome, Dave Winfield get his 3000 hit, Cal Ripken get his 3000 hit (Dawger why did you not applaud this again???), the Gophers win a Frozen Four game and Tom Pohl score a goal in an actual game. How many people can say that? Also, did you know there is a rumor that Dave Winfield gave herpes to both Robin Givens and Robin’s mother.....fascinating.

The line of Howe, White and Hoeffel where a complete joke all night. It looks like Howe has been bitten by the curse of the Dawger. After Dawger proclaimed Howe as "his guy", Howe’s play has gone right into a spiraling vortex. Both Howe and Gino Guyer would like to personally thank Dawger for his curse during their senior year.

As usual the Gophers defense could do nothing with the puck. Their outlet passes where poor and often times put players in poor position for support passes. Only once or twice did a defender ever leave the blue line when the puck got in deep and when a defender did go to the net it was Peltier. WWWWW, Peltier going to the net is the equivalent of Kevin Payton driving down the lane, just not as athletic. This is never a good thing. David Fischer did play well in the defensive end but still can not generate anything in the offensive end of the ice. This is probably a good thing because it will hopefully mean he is be back in 2008-09. Unless Montreal realizes it is Lucia’s fault Fischer hasn’t developed offensively, then they might force his hand to leave school. Stu Bickel continued to play well and physical but that was the lone bright spot for the defenders.

In conclusion, the Gophers are a complete disaster right now. The one thing the Gophers have going for them is the WCHA is really down this year. The two Colorado teams have basically locked up the #1 and #2 seeds in the conference. Literally ever other team has a legitimated shot at finishing in the top half of the WCHA. Wayne State is coming to town this coming weekend. If the Gophers do not sweep Wayne State Mariucci should be boarded up for the remainder of the season. Literally, if Wayne State manages a point in either game the school needs to halt the program, refund all ticket money, revoke all scholarships, fire the coaching staff and board up that no atmosphere arena.

Side Note- North Dakota split again this weekend and got shelled for 7 goals on Saturday. At least the Gophers can say they have poor talent this year. UND sucks with supposedly the most talent in the history of college hockey. I think god is punishing them for being racist.

2008-09 can not come fast enough.