Monday, December 10, 2007

Gophers Split and I Still Hate UND

Here is a recap of Sioux vs Gopher weekend in Grand Forks. This was suppose to updated daily but the hotel we stayed at used some F’ing internet cable that hasn’t been made since Apple stopped making their IIE Series. Of course they didn’t have any extra cables and Wi-fi was out of the question. This coming from Grand Forks newest and greatest hotel. You now get to enjoy yesterdays news today.

We arrived at the land of wind, tumble weeds and homophobia Friday afternoon. The first two things I noticed when stepping out of my car was 1) the town stinks like an enormous shit factory. I was told it is a sugar beet factory, but I don’t buy it. I think god has played a joke on the city and covered the entire place in invisible shit. 2) The only thing whiter then the snow up there are the people. We did see one token between the 2nd and 3rd periods of Friday nights game, but that was it. Otherwise the first non-white person I saw was Kyle Okposo. How funny is that? The first black person I saw was playing in a hockey game! I kid you not, that place is Hitler’s wonder land. Nothing but blonde hair and blue eyes, it is actually kind of creepy. I guess that’s why Ralph Englestad liked the city so much and decided to build a palace here.

As far as hockey, the Gophers deserved better then a split this weekend. They actually outplayed the Sioux for 5 of the 6 periods. 3 of those periods they actually dominated. The story of the weekend was the Gophers inability to score on Friday when they where out shooting the Sioux 30-8 at one point, yet trailed 1-0. On top of not scoring Friday the fat/drunk goalie decided to play like a complete D-bag in the 3rd period and give up two semi soft goals. On the Sioux’s second goal he decided to duck so the puck didn’t hit him in his mask. Nothing says good goalie like getting out of the way of a puck. At least I can still take the piss out him for the rest of the season. So I have that going for me. The only thing else worth mentioning about Friday night is the city of Grand Forks owns Mad Dog. I have never seen a kid take a bigger beating from a city in my life and I can speak from experience. Next to Jeff Frazee, Mad dog was the biggest disappointment of the night. I take that back, Mad Dog was the biggest disappointment.

Also, UND’s arena sells beer at the games and has two bars, one at each end of the arena. WWWWWW, I thought You would find that fact interesting since beer is the most important thing in your life (hopefully your cigarettes don’t take offence to that comment).

Saturday nights game was completely controlled by the gophers for the first 54 minutes. The Gophers jumped out to a 4-1 lead going into the third period and I think I am going to take most of the credit for that. Obviously Lucia read DWG on Thursday because they used my game plan just as I had drawn it up. The defenders played smart (RJ Anderson was still slow and soft) and the forwards did all of the little things that are needed to win on the road. The Sioux did make it interesting the final 6 minutes by scoring two goals and then pulling their french goalie for the final minute, but the Gophers held on for a 4-3 win. The victory broke my curse of seeing nothing but Sioux victories over the Gophers in Grand Forks. I would have whooped it up after the game but Grand Forks was still owning the Mad Dog and the bars wouldn’t serve Snake Jr even though he is two feet taller then Mad Dog.

Here is my meltdown from the weekend. I left Saturday nights game hating the Sioux hockey team more then ever before. Talk about a bunch of cheap, classless fucks. "Just because your team is the most overrated team in the history of college hockey doesn’t mean you can start taking cheap shots at the worst Gopher team since 1998 just for completely out playing You." "Talk about a classless bunch of Twats led by a classless neanderthal looking coach." Along with the Frenchman, You can now add Kozek to my list of most hated Sioux players of all time. I am also hoping he sustains a season ending injury in the next game or two. I know I will burn in hell for that comment, but it would be worth it to see that cheap twat get carried off the ice. One of the highlights of the weekend came Saturday night when Snake Jr. Got to hear my call Kozek an F’ing Cunt at the end of the second period. Looks like Jr. is all grown up.

Also, no word from Mad Dog since 10:30 Saturday night. I think Grand Forks owned him so much that it actually killed him.

P.S. That was Me who threw my panties on the ice Saturday night when that Sexy S.O.B. Oshie scored the Sioux’s first goal of the game.


24 comments:

Anonymous said...

And how about Oshie's weak ass goal he kicked in with his skate but they somehow reviewed but didn't over rule. Unreal. That's the point I abondoned the beer and went to the Jameson.

Anonymous said...

He didnt kick it, he directed it in with his skate. Perfectly legal

Anonymous said...

Grand Forks-1
Mad dog -0

Anonymous said...

Snake - I battled my way through gut rot and the flu and managed to stay out until midnight.

2002 Miller Park trip. Snake was out for the count before the 3rd inning. Then he went back to the hotel and made some German shit/puke gay porn video with his friend. By the time we got back the were naked, 69'n eachother in the bathtub doing stuff even the sickest Germans wouldn't perform.

Anonymous said...

Rumor has it Mad Dog went 3 beers and out. Since when does getting drunk on 3 beers and puking count as the flu.

Grand Forks 1 Mad Dog 0

Anonymous said...

If the shoe was on the other foot, I'm sure you'd have a completely different opinion.

Anonymous said...

Kind of like the goal you scored after being off sides. That sucked almost as bad as your fighting this weekend.

Over all the ref's sucked on both sides.

Anonymous said...

Shit, you got me there. That was worse that the redirction non-call.

Anonymous said...

The play wasn't offsides donkey. Your head coach even said so in his press conference. He was pissed that his defender was and I quote "Dumb enough to carry the puck back into our zone."

What did fighting get UND this weekend? Thats right, nothing. How about trying to come back when you are down 4-1 instead of taking cheap shots and starting the 3rd period down a man. After the games did you go drag race cars in the parking lot and spin cookies on the ice? Hick!

Anonymous said...

I agree with that guy. Hey Gay-J I heard the MLS is hiring. UND might not only have the worst fans in the history of fandom, they cartainly have the cheapest bunch of players. Seriously Frazee needs to stay on the bench for the rest of his Saturday's at least. Why isnt Joe Finley in the NFL or the WWE? Ryan Duncan looks like a poor sugar beet farmer that works for Dwight Schrute, that kid is as homily as all the other fat, ugly losers that drive their john deer's into town for game day. And tell that announcer to quit referencing Holy Cross, no one thinks this is a big deal anymore other than you dumb ass inbred yocals.

Anonymous said...

Stop complaining about GF and it's players and be happy you even won a game. Your a bunch of pussy's if you dont want to see anyone get hit, go watch a gopher football game.

Bitch, bitch, bitch... it's called a contact sport and we hate you on top of it. Maybe you should go play high school girls hockey so you dont have to worry about (handicap by the way) Robbie Bina smashing your face in.

Anonymous said...

Know one cares about people playing physical. They care about the cheap ass shit UND does because they can't handle a bad Gopher team still being more skilled than they are. Checking and Fighting are two different things. Both of which UND isn't very good at. This is evident by the fact that pussy boy Kozek goes smashing into people at the end of the period then keeps his gloves and helment on. One word for a guy like that, Pussy! If that is fighting and playing physical then maybe your boys should play girls hockey because that is what the girls game looks like. Face it, UND is a bunch of pussyboys who can't fight like men, they just cheap shot people and play grab ass. Maybe that could be their new mascot, a huge Pussy!

Nice fans base also. Since when did shower the ice with shit contemplate good fans. That is how hicks treat trailor parks also. They look all shinny and new at first but after time they just throw their shit all over and make it look like the rest of Nodak!

You don't hate us, you are jealous of us! Go cry someplace else Jan Brady!

Anonymous said...

Gopher fans - I would stop ripping on women's hockey and start supporting them. That will be your only chance to see one your hockey teams play in the final five.

You won a game at the Ralph, whopditty do!. You also managed to split with a bunch of drunken eskimos at home. We also swept your sorry asses last year at that dumpster you call a hockey arena.

Trust me when I say that nobody up here is jealous of your perpetual mediocrity.

Anonymous said...

Mediocrity? You are just a another deilusional dumb ass that thinks just because he has a kiddie pool outside his trailer it makes it fine living. Your team is just as disfunctional as MN. Gophs have their problems but the one thing they have is a coach that always gets his players up for the end of the year run. And listen you wouldnt have that ice palace in your state for a college hockey team if you actually had pro sports, but since you dont your Hitler wannabe donated all his money that he stole from the Jews to put that above ground pool in the middle of you trailer town. Get bent ND loser, keep thinking you're superior like a good nazi should.

Anonymous said...

Robbie B- Let not talk about home records. It has been well over 1 year since the Sioux have swept a regular season series in Grand Forks (last sweep was sometime in October of 2006). That stretch includes getting swept by Tech, and losses to the Eskimos, Mankato and UMD. The Gophers also swept the Sioux last time they where in Grand Forks. What is your point? Keep your screws tight big fella!

Anonymous said...

Actually UND's coach does get his team going at the end of the year. Sorry to piss on your post. Carry on.......

Anonymous said...

By the way there is only one trailor park in GF. You actually have an entire town made up of only trailor parks (hill top).
You are an idiot and make no sense. You obviously know nothing about hockey so quit trying to act like you do.

Anonymous said...

I would rather smell beats then the rotten smell of patchouli, incense and liberals that pollutes the air of dinkytown.

You and your hippie fans make me want to f-ing puke. Stick to reading poetry and going to Phish concerts.

We like red meat, killing shit especially rodents and our women to wear deodorant. We also like to smoke in bars and watch our hockey team stomp a bunch of figure skaters from the U of M.

We get it. Old man Ralph was a Nazi sympathizer. Who gives a shit. We took that old racist to the bank for a state of the arena that actually allows us to drink. Gopher fans have to smuggle booze in their pants like they are going to a high school football game.

Get over yourselves.

Anonymous said...

P.S. We also know how to build bridges!

Anonymous said...

God, I love you Bina!

Anonymous said...

But I hate you!

Anonymous said...

Will you idiots please shut up? Reading you bicker back and forth about which mediocre team is better or which city is less of a dump has become predictably boring and obnoxious. The WCHA championship runs through Colorado this season, Fags.

Anonymous said...

Don't get me started on how bad Colorado Sucks!

Anonymous said...

All you guys are gay UND is awsome, fuck all of you guys you retards