Sue Come to Mariucci

The puck drops on Gopher Sioux weekend tomorrow night at 7 PM. By the end of this weekend the Gophers will either have a prayer of home ice in the WCHA Playoffs or be dead and buried. This weekend could also determine Don Lucia's future behind the bench. With a solid weekend against our #1 rival Lucia could remove some of the heat he is taking from fans. If the Gophers get run off the ice the fans will be chasing Lucia out the door.

Since WWWWW steals all his ideas from other people, sources and sites, I have decided to do the same. I am stealing WWWWWW's “five things about the game" idea. Here are my top five things to watch for this weekend.

1) Gophers attack or lack of attack- If the Gophers are going to win a game or two this weekend they have to score 3 to 4 goals each night. That won't be an easy task because they struggle to score 3 goals vs. crap teams like Tech, Harvard and Bowling Green. To make matters worse, North Dakota is one of the top defensive units in the country. UND goalie, Brad Eidsness, is a good goalie but not great. If the Gophers settle on shots from the blue line all weekend Eidsness can sleep his way through the series. The top line for MN (Schroeder, Cepis and hopefully not white) need to chip in some even strength goals this weekend. Schroeder needs to start producing instead of counting the days until he turns pro. If he gets shut down like he did back in October the Gophers are in big trouble. I am just hoping here, but consistent production from one of the bottom three lines would also be nice. This all equals bad news for the Gophers.


Did you know the telephone pole is North Dakota's state tree?

2) Power Play- The Gophers power play has been brutal all season. Its like watching the gophers basketball team in a half court set. Part of the issue is the talent level placed on the top unit. There is no reason why MN's top unit isn't made up of Hoeffel, Schroeder, Cepis, Ness and Fairchild. They can do what ever they want with the 2nd unit, but I will cut myself if I see Tony Lucia or Jake Hansen logging major power play minutes this weekend. The Gophers should get plenty of PP chances this weekend, especially on Friday. North Dakota will try and knock the Gophers around early on Friday to set the tempo. As long as players like Flynn don't draw stupid retaliation penalties the Gophers should get some early chances. They need a minimum of three PP goals this weekend.


What has 24 teeth and breathes with it's mouth open? The front row of a UND hockey game!

3) Tony Lucia- Before you fall off your chair laughing, hear me out on this one. Lucia is the one player who seems to get under the skin of North Dakota. His game is suited for this series because he will throw his weight around, can play shut down hockey and he likes to run his mouth. He also has some history with North Dakota. Tony piss pounded Kaip (I think that was who he fought) after a Saturday game two years ago. Last year he baited Green into jumping him in the face off circle. Lucia skated away and left Green looking like a complete retard as the refs pulled him to the penalty box. although nothing really happened up in North Dakota earlier this year, the hot rumor was the Sioux wanted a piece of Lucia. If Tony can be a pest all weekend he could draw lots of attention and plenty of penalties.


Why does the wind blow so hard in North Dakota? Because it also can't wait to leave the state.

4) Goaltending- Alex Kangas needs to be a savior this weekend. If he gives up a goal it needs to be a good goal. Enough of the fluff goals. Kangas also needs to make a couple saves he has no business making. I can’t remember the last highlight reel save he has made. Eidsness is not known for gift wrapping goals so the Gophers can’t be giving away any free ones. I would give Wonder Baby to a band of North Dakota gypsies to see the Kangas of 2008 return this weekend. -Side note- You can add goalie handling and lack of goalie development to my list of MN coaching complaints.

Fact- In North Dakota it is still legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon. "That explains the logo."

5) Heart- Just play 120 minutes of solid hockey this weekend and I will not be completely miserable. Honestly, our #1 rival is coming to town. People are openly questioning the players heart. The coach is getting hammered by fans and media. This is the perfect storm to rally the troops and play inspired hockey. If they can’t do it this weekend lets board up the arena for the rest of the season because it is over. God Damn this team pisses me off!

Why are date rape numbers so low in North Dakota? Livestock can't talk!

My Predictions- Sioux win 5-2 on Friday and Gophers win 3-2 on Saturday. Also, Chicks with guns are hot!

Gopher Hockey....Its Not Very Good

It is Gopher vs. Sioux week. WWWWW has been emailing me on a regular basis to write about hockey and I figured this would be a good week to post. I will be taking in Fridays game live from Mariucci. A gopher vs. Sioux preview will follow later this week. Right now I am going to write/vent about the state of America’s favorite hockey team.

The Gophers head into this weekend with no momentum, no heart and no future for this season. There are plenty of Gopher puck apologist who keep sighting the team has won 6 of 7 heading into this weekend. I guess that means things have turned around and the program is once again heading in the right direction. Wrong! What those apologists don’t point out is the teams the Gophers have beat are the bottom feeders of D1 hockey. If the gophers have really turned the corner they would sweep a very average Sioux team this week or take 3 pts. I am not holding my breath.

Lets recap how bad things are at 4 Oak Street this season. Goldy’s only quality wins this season are against middle of the road Michigan St. and Wisconsin teams. The season has seen the team get swept at home vs. Denver (shutout both games) and Duluth, and drop home games to Bemidji, Mankato and Northern Michigan. The team also had another player leave in the middle of the season. Sophomore Sam Lofquist decided to call it a career after being benched during the Wisconsin series. Lofquist is another soft teat who played with no heart and is a huge snatch for quitting after a little adversity. I will defend his decision based on the fact he was benched in favor of Brian Schack (sorry Todd). How in the hell do you bench a kid for Schack? The Gophers also lost their top goal scoring threat, Jay Barriball, for the season thanks to a knee injury. The only good news from the injury is Barriball accepted a medical red shirt and plans to play next year.

On top of the terrible results this season the on ice product is completely unwatchable. At times this team is like watching an MLS soccer game on ice, but less scoring. Some might chalk the scoring issues up to poor talent, but I still argue talent is not the issue. The front line is loaded with kids who have scored goals their entire careers and came into the program highly rated. Once they arrive at the MN they all turn into 3rd and 4th line players? The blue line is also full of high NHL draft picks that are known for being creative puck movers. The combination should add up to fun hockey, a great power play and lots of goals. The issue isn’t talent, but development and use of said talent. This issue falls squarely on the shoulders of the coaching staff.

The main issues I see with the coaching staff are poor assistant coaches (a.k.a. John Hill), no player development, recruiting the wrong style of player, catering to 17 year old kids who have no heart, a poor locker room, and the system hockey they now play. All of these items fall squarely on the shoulders of the head coach.

Things started going down hill when Bob Motzko left the Gophers for St. Cloud. Since Motzko’s departure the high end individual talent up front stopped coming to MN. The next year Mike Guentzel was removed from the program. When Guentzel left so did all the grit and passion on the bench. We are now left with an unqualified Grant Potulny and John Hill. I do think Potulny will develop into a good coach. I just don’t think he is ready for the gopher’s bench.

John Hill on the other hand is a complete F’ing tit. The best compliment I hear about Hill is he’s a nice guy. In the coaching business there is nothing worse than "being a nice guy" as your best quality as a coach. Hill comes off as easily confused and not very inspirational. Nothing proved this point more than the look of confusion and terror on his face when he filled in as head coach at UND last year. His interviews during intermissions should be grounds enough for firing. I can’t imagine showing up to practice and having to look at and listen to this roly poly son of a bitch. Hill must go.

Two years ago we/I pounded Kyle Okposo, and his ginger hair, for leaving the team in the middle of the season. The more I think about it, the more I feel like I should apologize to Okposo. Okposo was smart enough to realize he wasn’t getting what he needed from Gophers and was actually going backwards in his development. He was bright enough and brave enough to get out before he got stuck in a rut like the rest of the current roster. Bear pointed this out to me during an email exchange late last week and I don’t think Bear has ever spoken a truer word in his life (other than when he called Dawger the worst Yahtzee player of all time). The reason players are leaving and not happy, is the lack of development. The coaching staff is chasing results by playing system hockey and not letting gets skate and develop. I am just surprised they continue to get top end talent while playing this style of puck.

The gophers have also shot themselves in the foot with their recruiting the past couple of years. Not only are the gophers taking more kids right out of high school, but they are now taking players who accelerator their high school studies so they can play college hockey as seniors in high school. The main reason this has failed is these players aren’t concerned about coming to MN and winning a national championship. They are coming to MN to improve as an individual player and move onto the pros. This leaves you with a team full of kids who only play for themselves, which leads to a split locker room, which leads to a garbage team. It also seems like the coaches cater to these players which has pissed off the older players on the team. This was a huge issue with the Phil Kessel/ Holy Cross team.

I am not about to call Lucia a bad coach. Obviously he has had great success as a college coach and turned MN into the premier hockey program in the country from 2000-2005. He also gave me the greatest gift of my life (that includes my two kids) when he led MN to the 2002 national championship. Since that time things have slowly deteriorated to the point we are at today. Which is why I think it is time for a fresh start and Lucia to move on.

I have been saying this for a couple years now, but it is time to bring in Dean Blais. He is a Gopher guy, which will make all the idiot booster who worry about that silly shit, happy. He wins every place he goes, he develops talent, and he will recruit kids with heart and won’t take any shit from prima donnas or their parents. Hiring Dean Blais will also fire up a fan base which is in a rut right now. Dean just led the USA U-20 team to a world championship victory over Canada so his hiring would give an instant jolt to the fans and program. Hopefully Maturi has the seeds to make it happen.

At least North Dakota sucks so I am able to enjoy that portion of this college hockey season.

Snacks here is a picture for you. I know you missed them you sick bastard.

Super Sioux Fan Has Some Words For You

A Women's Hockey Update? Oh joy!

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Women's hockey: Lamoureuxs hammer out details for transfer to UND

Oh yes......the most exciting thing to EVER happen in girls hockey. The Lammy twins are going back to their roots transfering back to the most beautiful city on earth, Grand Forks, ND.
Okay so I know that no one give a shit about girls hockey and I know that most of you dont give shit about regular hockey but this is the closest thing to Hockey talk that I have. And without Hockey posts and WWW's Shark Attack movie reviews....I would NEVER repeat NEVER read this blog. Sorry....it is true, I have to listen to Dawg argue stupid points all day every day. Yes you can feel sorry for me, no wonder I am such an angry Bitch who hates Jews.

The girls apparently SHOCKED their coach when they asked for their scholorship to be lifted. To be honest that fact that they actually would stab their family in the back and go to Minnesota should have been the real shocker but why am I not surprised.
They will not be eligible to play next season but they will more then likely playing in the 2010 Olympics. Honestly I know these girls.....well I knew these girls. We used to throw shot put, discus and Javelin on a throwing team in GF and they used to wear berets...so personally I have always thought they sucked. Then when they signed with Minnesota I knew they sucked. But now I must say they suck much less. I would imagine being the 3rd and 4th top players in the game and only being freshman that UND has pretty much got it in the bag for quite a few seasons to come offically making it Hockey Town, USA.

Ps. I only posted this because Snacks told me it would be awesome and that he looked forward to it during a facebook chat yesterday. Yes, I facebook chat at work. My job sucks more dick then The Todd. He also confirmed that El Todd is scared shitless of me. Todd you have never been more smart.
Also Mrs. Snacks is STILL not a lesbian and STILL not into "baby's mama's"........suck

Suck dick Bitches.

Siouxper Sioux Fan
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Thanks again Mama Dawger, you are always entertaining. Although it makes me very nervous and concerned that you and Snacks are chatting away on facebook. Watch your back Mrs. Snacks.

UND Eats Shit Sandwiches

Its Gopher vs. Sioux weekend so I thought this would be a good time to revive this blog with some sports chatter people actually care about. Both games this weekend will be played in Hitler’s palace (Engelstad Arena) up in lovely Grand Forks, ND. The Gophers enter the weekend ranked #3 in the country with a 10-3-5 record. UND is crawling into the weekend with a 11-10-1 record.

We have been told for years now that UND doesn’t care about the first half of the regular season. That is a good way for UND fans to try and justify a home loss to Alaska and getting 1 pt up in Duluth. The issue with that excuse this year is Coach Hakstol finally has a roster made up of players from his recruiting classes. This means no more high end talent and no second half surge in the standings. This also explains UND starting the second half getting swept at the GL Invite by Michigan St and Michigan Tech “wha-wha-whaaaaa” before rallying for two 4-3 (including OT win at Home) victories over powerful Bemidji State. It has got so bad at UND this year that their Super Fans are calling for Hakstol’s head.

UND is led in scoring this year by Chay Genoway and something called Brad Miller (not the NBA player). Chay Genoway is a very good Offensive defenseman while Brad Miller is, well, Brad Miller. UND also has Ryan Duncan back for his senior season. If you forgot Ryan Duncan stole the Hoby Baker Award from John Toews two years ago. Since winning the award Duncan has become arguably the worst Hoby Baker Award winner in the history of the award. Duncan will now be forever linked to Gino Torretta as the worst major college award winners in the history of college awards. I have a sneaky suspicion the Dawger is secretly a Duncan fan. How else can you explain his complete lack of production.

I do like UND’s frosh goalie Brad Eidness. He is having a bit of a rough year, but guys like Kangas only come every 2008 years. You can’t expect a human frosh goalie to hold up a team, especially a very average team like UND.

I should also mention players Chris Vandevelde and Joe Finley but both players suck and I am tired of talking about UND. Plus the only time anyone will notice Finley is when he cheap shots someone after the whistle or in the handshake line. You might also notice him if an actual fight breaks out. Finley will be the 6-7 blur leaving the screen once the gloves actually drop. Finley is the undisputed king of pussy’s when it comes to fighting. What do you expect, he is from Edina.

The last thing I have to get off my chest is Mario Lamoureux’s name. Mario’s dad needs to be drug outside and have his ass kicked. Not only did he raise his older son to be a complete twat but he tried getting cute with his kids name so it sounds like Mario Lemiuex. An ass kicking is definitely in order here.

Here is a picture of some real women. I am sick of the dirty rags WWWWW keeps giving us.


The Gophers will be led this weekend be our lord and savior Alex Kangas. Alex is undefeated in Englestad Arena and will most likely stay that way after this weekend. Alex’s numbers haven’t been quite as heavenly as last spring but who can complain with a .921 Save% and 2.19 GAA when a player hasn’t been completely on his game. Plus Alex has been busy dealing with everyone’s prayers and other crap god has to deal with.

The Gophers will be in Grand Forks this weekend without their head coach Don Lucia who is suffering from some unknown illness. Coach Lucia has to take some more medical tests on Friday of this week and doctors should know what is effecting him at that time. Plus Lucia figures his team can play without a head coach since UND is basically playing without one also. Rumor has it Lucia also hates the smell of Grand Forks and is looking for any excuse to stay away from stench of sugar beet factories.

The Gophers will finally have their entire roster back. Jay Barriball and Mike Carman are back from injury and Hoeffel, Fairchild and Schroeder are back from the world Jr. Tournament. The only player not available is Taylor Matson. Matson is out the rest of the year with a torn ACL. Did you know Dawger pronounced Matson his favorite player back in October and two weeks later he tore his ACL. I am not kidding. The Dawger curse is for real.

The biggest key for the Gophers this weekend will be the play of their top line. Jordan Schroeder is back which will get Ryan Stoa back on the wing. Stoa has got to start scoring goals again. Jay Barriball also has to find a way to tip in the pesky open net goals he constantly misses. Barriball should honestly have 12 goals this season. Barriball’s shite shooting is also costing Schroeder any chance of being All-American. Patricia White also needs to play on the third line and stay away from either power play unit. This kid has the heart of an interior decorator.

Next, the Gophers have to limit dumb mistakes by their D. Last weekend they gave up way to many 2-1’s by jumping deep into the offensive zone. Fairchild and Fischer should be allowed to make rushes up the ice but the rest of them need to stay put. Especially Wehrs. Ness can get involved on the Power play but he needs to stay home on 5 v 5. He caused way to many odd man rushes last weekend. Plus Ness shoots like a High School JV player. Dawger also continues to talk about Ness being his “Next Guy” but for the benefit of the program I won’t let it happen. Ness has to much talent for Dawger to flush his career down the toilet.

The Todd, rumor has it Schack will be playing this weekend so get your game worn #27 jersey out of the closet.

This is the first weekend in years that the Gophers should enter a weekend with UND and expect to win both games. The Gophers own Engelstad Arena to the tune of a 7-4-0 lifetime record in that dump. The Gophers are very good and the Sioux are down this year. The Gophers have high end talent and the Sioux average talent. The Gophers have the top special teams unit in the nation and the Sioux are average at best in special teams. All this adds up to a split. Gophers win 4-2 on Friday and lose 3-2 on Saturday . Either way UND still sucks .

Did you know Dawger has extremely small nipples? I just found that out yesterday and for some reason it fascinates me.

A Christmas Wish Answered

If you could have one thing for Christmas, what would it be? For me, it would be a post from Siouxper Sioux Fan, and guess what was in my yahoo mailbox? That's right, it's a wish no more. So without further wasting of time, here she is, possibly drunk at work:

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hey, okay I feel bad for the blog here is a off the cuff post (haha like they havent ALL been)

REAL HOCKEY TEAMS PLAY DURING XMAS BREAK (suck it)
So I felt like this was well needed. Since the last two hockey posts were LITERALLY the worst shit I have ever read in my life, I decided to save the blog once again. HA
And my team is finally on a winning streak (6 games bitch) so I am not as ashamed to write about them now.
We play Michigan State on sat and Michigan Tech on Sunday. I am predicting 2 W's.

Do you know that when WWWW sent us a Christmas card he did not put me or Baby Dawger on the envelope.....????? What kind of shit is that? I was VERY offended but then I remembered the time that he said something about how all girls named Kaylyn were HOT.....So then I was no longer mad at him. And then I decided that he may be a genius.

So who else is in love with W's Shark Reviews lately? I might be your #1 fan W. And FYI the reason that Snake doesnt post anymore is because he quit watching hockey and just sits at home all day on Facebook. What a Loser.
Him and bogart just sit and "poke" each other back and forth.

So honestly I only wrote this post because I am so bored at work today. It is 4:26pm on tuesday which = the longest shit of my life. I just want to get out of here so I can sit in a half an hour of traffic, go to ridgedale to my least favorite store of all time to pick up my dad a Gopher Wrestling Sweatshirt. BS
You know I talked to a big Gopher Hockey "FAN??" today and even though she is a U of M Alum. she didnt know that they had one of the, if not THE best Wrestling programs in the country.......How do you not know that?
I dont get it....... Granted she is the same person that I try to make "small talk" with in the break room and it goes something like this

Hockey"fan?" (wearing a gopher hockey sweatshirt)-"Hey Kaylyn how is it going"?

Kaylyn"siouxper sioux fan"-"oh good, nice games this weekend, huh?

Hockey"fan?"-"HUH?" (with very stunned look on face)

Kaylyn- "The hockey games" (derrrrrrrrrr)

Said Hockey "fan"- "oh yeah I dont ACTUALLY watch the games unless I got to them, I dont like keep track of how they are doing".

Kaylyn-"Nice fan" (then walk away)

That is about how it goes. It really is sad. It seems to be the pattern with Gopher hockey "fans". Except Snake he is an exception to this pattern, if they suck he will gladly say "they fing suck" and that is what I like and appreciate about Snake. What I dont like about Snake is how he is ALWAYS sandbagging me on the blog.....dick.

Anyways that about covers it........shit it is only 4:36pm. Now I get to go home and put the finishing touches on Christmas while dawg spends his evening at the bar, then the Gopher Basketball game. I personally would rather fucking kill myself but, hey whatever.

Siouxfan out Bitches
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Merry Christmas? And thanks Momma Dawger, as always I remain your #1 fan.

Super Sioux Fan is Back

So to wash the taste of an 0-2 basketball betting start out of my mouth, I thought we should talk some puck. Since Snake stopped writing because he's too busy killing animals and The Todd can't afford a television, I've been reduced to getting my hockey posts from Super Sioux Fan, aka Mama Dawger. Won't someone else step in? Do it for the Gophers. Do it for America. Do it for the non-racists of the world. Do it for the English language. Here we go, unedited as always

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"Epic".......? Hockey
Yeah so I 'was' officially kicked off the blog by Dawg but since he is not the boss of me (and WWW's wont shut up about it) here is a sweet post.

So it is pretty hard to be a Sioux fan right now, more like embarrassing. But I trudge on hoping that Kangas on day soon decides he likes the colors green and pink better then marroon and gold (gayest colors ever).
Or we pick up a juniors goalie soon, either way SOMETHING needs to be done.

UND plays Anchorage this weekend and Minnesota takes on Mich. Tech, which should be a blood bath.
I will again be happy if we can manage a split, which is a shame because Anchorage Fing blows. They blow harder then Lucia during PRIDE weekend....this is a fact.
As of today Minnesota is #1 in the WCHA and ND is in an impressive aka embarrasing 3 way tie for 5th place.
I think someone needs to remind Ryan Duncan that he is a God Damn Hoby Baker Winner.

I have been contimplating going down to the Park Tavern when Lucia is doing his little show and just poppin him. Just punch him straight in the mouth....seriously the dude looks like he should be hanging out in his mom's basement looking at kiddy porn, and asking his mom where the Fing Meatloaf is. But I guess we cant all be as classy as my boy Hakstol now can we?

It is a shame we only play each other once this year....thankfully it will be in GF (where they actually serve booze) because.........well because it is Grand Forks. Me and Dawg wore our appropriate jerseys (me in sioux-with my name on it Thank you very much, and Dawg in my brothers, BO smelling hand me down) and somehow the tickets snake got us were in the nose bleed section among all the gopher fans. Somehow they all ended up in 1 single section. Well lets just say they were NOT fans of me.....It may or may not have been that I was Obnoxious, Drunk...Very Drunk, and almost fell to my death and took a slew of gopher fans with me. It was pretty amazing if you ask me.
Dawg got sick from some jalepeno rolls (you know all that "spicy" food in North Dakota). Can you say "buzz kill"......
But it ended with Snake almost getting beat up my some happy/angry Sioux Fans at the greatest restaurant on earth...Suite 49.
All in all it was a good weekend......for me and my boys.

Well not much more to say other then GO SIOUX and SUCK IT DAWG, I do what I want.

And I STILL want that apology or else..............


SIOUX FAN OUT!
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Thanks Sioux Fan. Naturally, the picture above is from her and is apparently of some 14 year old I've never heard of dressed up like a hockey player for halloween. I think the most disturbing thing from that entire rant, worse than the grammar on the level of Eazy-E, is that Sioux Fan here has a jersey with her own name on the back. I guess that's to be expected.

And I assume you want gambling picks, since I'm so awesome so here you go

Rutgers -10 vs. Marist
Jacksonville State +22 @ South Carolina
SE Missouri State +26 @ New Mexico
Georgia State -1.5 vs. Bowling Green
Western Michigan -8 vs. TCU
SMU +11 @ South Florida

Rambling Sioux Fan Post + Additional Reader Content

Are you in the mood for a rambling, semi-incoherent post riddled with spelling mistakes? No, I'm not drunk again. It's time for an email from our favorite racist hockey female, Super Sioux Fan aka Momma Dawger. And if you manage to get through this whole thing, there's a video sent in by a DWG reader that is sure to annoy and horrify you. Anyway, here we go:

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This weekend was pretty uneventful. Mostly because the Sioux had a by.... Yeah that is the only reason it was uneventful.

The Epic Gophers (that is what some guy at work called gopher hockey today...Epic) haha What a douche bag.
Anyways they shared a victory (Tie) with Sconnie on Friday night, then destroyed them on Saturday night.
In funny news Bemidji aka the worst team in the WCHA swept SCSU. That victory last weekend just isnt as sweet now is it gopher fans.
So as of now UofM is #1 in the WCHA and my Sioux are rockin #6. I believe we fell of the top 20 list according to espn.com. Granted this is never a great way to start out the season it is pretty typical of us. We start out shitty and start playing hockey around christmas time. That is usually when the gophers start to win less games and barely make the playoffs.
So I guess it is just another rough start of the season for my Fighting Sioux.

The Sioux play Sconnie next weekend and I am predicting a split. I would say we will sweep them but I am realistic although it is by no means impossible. Maybe Ryan Duncan can get his head out of his ass and remember that he is a god damn Hoby Baker winner. But the chances of that are slim. Maybe Finley will start some sweet fights and kick some Sconnie ass.

Hopefully the Sioux sat at home and used this weekend off to think about they actions last weekend. It was the most embarrasing display of hockey ever played....well not counting the Gopher vs Holy Cross game of course :)

PS. No you guys will NEVER live that down.

Siouxfan OUT!

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So there you go. Once again, I didn't bother to read it since it's about hockey, but she assures me it's awesome.

On to my other email, this one included a video and was sent in by Ryan M., who seems like a pretty awesome dude. I tried to come up with something clever to say about it, but it speaks for itself. It's a video for getting flu shots, something that is good, and they used the world's most annoying mascot, Goldy, something that is pure evil, so it's kind of a mixed message. Unless your message is to be really irritating. Or to say that you should get massive amounts of heroin injected into your blood stream by an oversized rodent.



You peoople should email more often. We could do a mailbag type deal, like the sports buy does but less bostony. Anyone? No? That's cool. I'm busy anyway.

P.S. I think Cole Hamels might be jesus.

Wheeler Leaves For The NH.....AHL

Blake Wheeler has left the Gopher Hockey team to sign a professional hockey contract. Although he hasn't signed a contract yet, all indications are he will sign one soon. It sounds like Blake announced his decision prior to signing a contract so the Gophers could try and fill his roster spot as soon as possible. Note to Okposo, that is how you handle things.

A lot of people think Wheeler was a bust as a player because of his #5 draft ranking. Actually Blake was a very solid player for the Gophers and improved each and every year. If Wheeler would have returned for his senior season there was a chance he would have joined the 150 point club for the U hockey program which is a pretty rare feat.

Blake will always have a spot in my heart for sticking it to North Dakota in the 2007 WCHA Final Five Championship game. That goal alone should get his mural hung in Mariucci. Below is a press release for the U of Minnesota.

The Todd, Are you trying to step on toes by breaking Gopher news prior to my post! You Son of Bitc.....

Press Release from the UofM:
University of Minnesota wrote:
Minnesota junior forward Blake Wheeler has withdrawn from the university to pursue a career in professional hockey. Wheeler, who was a 2004 first-round draft pick by the Phoenix Coyotes, has 30 days to sign with the team. Following the 30 days, if the two parties do not reach an agreement, Wheeler will become a free agent. He is the ninth Minnesota player to leave college early for the professional ranks since the end of the 2005-06 season. Wheeler is the third Gopher to leave from the 2007-08 season with Okposo, Frazee and now Wheeler. “Blake is an outstanding student, person and hockey player,” Minnesota head coach Don Lucia said. “He was a leader on our team both on and off the ice and we will certainly miss Blake’s contribution to the program. We are excited for the future in front of him and there is no question that he will have a long career in the NHL.” A native of Plymouth, Minn., Wheeler led the Gophers’ scoring charge with 15 goals and 20 assists for 35 points this past season. He spread his 35 points over 29 different games and his 15 goals over 14 different games. In 28 conference games, Wheeler tallied 23 points and was named a third-team All-WCHA selection. He tied for ninth in WCHA scoring and 12th in both goal and assist scoring. One of the team’s assistant captains, Wheeler had six multiple-point games this season, including a season-high three-point performance in a 4-1 win over Minnesota Duluth (3/7). The Gophers finished seventh in the WCHA standings and were the WCHA Final Five runner-up team. Wheeler and the Gophers then made their eighth-straight NCAA appearance, only to fall to eventual champions, Boston College. In his career, Wheeler posted 42 goals and 54 assists for 96 points. In his sophomore campaign, Wheeler ranked fifth on the team in scoring with 38 points, while posting 23 points as a rookie in 2005-06. He was named the WCHA Final Five Most Valuable Player in 2006-07 after scoring a sensational overtime, game-winning goal in the 3-2 win over North Dakota in the title game. Michelle Traen Assistant Athletics Communications Director University of Minnesota gophersports.com

Gophers Split and I Still Hate UND

Here is a recap of Sioux vs Gopher weekend in Grand Forks. This was suppose to updated daily but the hotel we stayed at used some F’ing internet cable that hasn’t been made since Apple stopped making their IIE Series. Of course they didn’t have any extra cables and Wi-fi was out of the question. This coming from Grand Forks newest and greatest hotel. You now get to enjoy yesterdays news today.

We arrived at the land of wind, tumble weeds and homophobia Friday afternoon. The first two things I noticed when stepping out of my car was 1) the town stinks like an enormous shit factory. I was told it is a sugar beet factory, but I don’t buy it. I think god has played a joke on the city and covered the entire place in invisible shit. 2) The only thing whiter then the snow up there are the people. We did see one token between the 2nd and 3rd periods of Friday nights game, but that was it. Otherwise the first non-white person I saw was Kyle Okposo. How funny is that? The first black person I saw was playing in a hockey game! I kid you not, that place is Hitler’s wonder land. Nothing but blonde hair and blue eyes, it is actually kind of creepy. I guess that’s why Ralph Englestad liked the city so much and decided to build a palace here.

As far as hockey, the Gophers deserved better then a split this weekend. They actually outplayed the Sioux for 5 of the 6 periods. 3 of those periods they actually dominated. The story of the weekend was the Gophers inability to score on Friday when they where out shooting the Sioux 30-8 at one point, yet trailed 1-0. On top of not scoring Friday the fat/drunk goalie decided to play like a complete D-bag in the 3rd period and give up two semi soft goals. On the Sioux’s second goal he decided to duck so the puck didn’t hit him in his mask. Nothing says good goalie like getting out of the way of a puck. At least I can still take the piss out him for the rest of the season. So I have that going for me. The only thing else worth mentioning about Friday night is the city of Grand Forks owns Mad Dog. I have never seen a kid take a bigger beating from a city in my life and I can speak from experience. Next to Jeff Frazee, Mad dog was the biggest disappointment of the night. I take that back, Mad Dog was the biggest disappointment.

Also, UND’s arena sells beer at the games and has two bars, one at each end of the arena. WWWWWW, I thought You would find that fact interesting since beer is the most important thing in your life (hopefully your cigarettes don’t take offence to that comment).

Saturday nights game was completely controlled by the gophers for the first 54 minutes. The Gophers jumped out to a 4-1 lead going into the third period and I think I am going to take most of the credit for that. Obviously Lucia read DWG on Thursday because they used my game plan just as I had drawn it up. The defenders played smart (RJ Anderson was still slow and soft) and the forwards did all of the little things that are needed to win on the road. The Sioux did make it interesting the final 6 minutes by scoring two goals and then pulling their french goalie for the final minute, but the Gophers held on for a 4-3 win. The victory broke my curse of seeing nothing but Sioux victories over the Gophers in Grand Forks. I would have whooped it up after the game but Grand Forks was still owning the Mad Dog and the bars wouldn’t serve Snake Jr even though he is two feet taller then Mad Dog.

Here is my meltdown from the weekend. I left Saturday nights game hating the Sioux hockey team more then ever before. Talk about a bunch of cheap, classless fucks. "Just because your team is the most overrated team in the history of college hockey doesn’t mean you can start taking cheap shots at the worst Gopher team since 1998 just for completely out playing You." "Talk about a classless bunch of Twats led by a classless neanderthal looking coach." Along with the Frenchman, You can now add Kozek to my list of most hated Sioux players of all time. I am also hoping he sustains a season ending injury in the next game or two. I know I will burn in hell for that comment, but it would be worth it to see that cheap twat get carried off the ice. One of the highlights of the weekend came Saturday night when Snake Jr. Got to hear my call Kozek an F’ing Cunt at the end of the second period. Looks like Jr. is all grown up.

Also, no word from Mad Dog since 10:30 Saturday night. I think Grand Forks owned him so much that it actually killed him.

P.S. That was Me who threw my panties on the ice Saturday night when that Sexy S.O.B. Oshie scored the Sioux’s first goal of the game.