NBA Draft Rumors Heating Up

With just two days remaining before the NBA draft the rumors are running wild like DWG on the softball basepaths.  Even the #1 overall pick is up for grabs.  Many NBA "insiders" and "unnamed sources" and even named sources including Flip Saunders have been throwing chum in the water.  Here are a few of the interesting storylines that are developing...

What do the Cavs do at #1?

The Cavs have been linked with Ben McLemore, Nerlens Noel, Alex Len and even Trey Burke and Victor Oladipo.  They've also been involved in some talks about trading the pick with ESPN reporting the Thunder, Blazers and our Wolves have shown interest.

The Cavs have quality players at the PG (Irving), SG (Waiters), PF (Thompson) and C (Varejao, Zeller).  The mostly highly rumored players are McLemore, Len and Noel which is interesting because there are some redundancies of talent at those positions. If they like one of those three to be a star they obviously should take them.  McLemore makes the most sense as Waiters showed some scoring ability, but wasn't a great shooter (41% FG, 31% 3pt).  However, he's still only 21 and he did score 14.7ppg as a rookie.

In terms of fit, I would think an Otto Porter would be desireable as a very athletic and active 6'9" small forward with some solid upside.  Perhaps he's not as much of a sure thing as McLemore or Len/Noel and that also could be why Cleveland is looking to trade back a bit.  Porter gets lots of Tayshaun Prince comparisons, but I don't buy it as I think Porter is more athletic and active running the floor and handling the ball.  I'm also impressed with his work ethic as he's added muscle and improved his outside shooting in his two seasons at Georgetown (22% to 42% from 3).  Check out this video of him:

The Green Room

Barry Larkin's son, PG Shane Larkin has been invited to the green room for the draft.  This is usually a good indicator that someone likes him to go pretty high as usually no more than 15 players are invited.  This is where the player sits with their family and their agent, so maybe a Barry sighting is going to happen.  Names are chosen based on polling of GMs.  Other names that are going to be there are: Len, Noel, Oladipo, McLemore, Porter, Bennett, Burke, Carter-Williams, Zeller, McCollum, Adams, Caldwell-Pope and Karasev.  In 2012, 14 players were invited and the latest one of them went was 17th. 

Wolves Trade Talks with the Nets 

Several reports came out on Monday about the Wolves talking to the Nets about MarShon Brooks.  Brooks is a shooting guard that has a lot of offensive talent, but is now behind Joe Johnson.  His rookie year he averaged 12.6ppg, but that fell to just 5ppg last season.  Brooks is a bit of a volume shooter and has a disappointing career 30.2% 3pt.  He's already 24 too, so he's not super young.  The rumor is that the Wolves would give either Ridnour or Barea, but the Nets are at their cap limit, so something else would have to come the Wolves' way in order for the deal to happen.  The only name I see that has a big enough salary to make it work is Mirza Teletovic or a combo of Reggie Evans and either Tyshawn Taylor or Kris Joseph.  I'm not sure that the Nets would be willing to give that many role players to get Barea or Ridnour.  Another rumor I read says the #26 pick might go in the deal, which is not good.

Blazers Making a Play for Pek

The Blazers are really looking for a center to partner with LaMarcus Aldridge down low since he gets so beat up during the season playing the 4 and 5.  JJ Hickson who played well is a free agent and Meyers Leonard, last year's #11 pick is still probably not ready for prime time.  Tiago Splitter and Pekovic are targets to come in and some beef right away.  Both of these players are restricted free agents, so that means the Blazers can sign Splitter or Pek to an offer sheet and their original team has a right of first refusal.  They are also rumored to be willing to move the #10 pick in a deal.

From Russia With Love?

Andrei Kirilenko has until the 29th to decide whether or not he'll play next year wtih the Wolves or become a free agent.  Hopefully, he's giving Flip Saunders some inclinitation of which way he's leaning.  Either way, Kirilenko is a shorter term solution, so draft decisions shouldn't be affected too much.  That being said, Kirilenko may have been the Wolves best player last season with consideration given to Rubio and Pekovic.  With a healthy Love and Budinger and some lucky/good draft picks, we may once again be talking playoff push with AK47 in tow. 

From Flip's Presser Yesterday

Their final workout on Monday was Tony Mitchell and Flip liked his athleticism.  As you know I'm a fan Mitchell and wouldn't mind at all if he's the #26 selection.  NBAdraft.net has Mitchell going #24 to the Knicks.

Flip says he's been in trade talks, but doesn't expect anything to go down until the day before or the day of the draft when they "have a better idea of where everything's going to be going."  He also mentions that if Derrick Williams were in this draf the would be a top 3 player, which indicates there have at least been some talks around D-Will, but Flip has the value placed very high.  He also says there are no players in this draft that within two years you can be sure they'll be an all-star.

Saunders acknowledges the need for better 3 point shooting and says he's watched a lot of film in addition to workouts, but doesn't give much lean beyond that.  He said they won't be taking a point guard in the first round, but what does he consider CJ McCollum?  Well, when asked to compare McCollum and Caldwell-Pope it's clear he likes them both and says McCollum has more range and been a more consistent scorer. 

For the second round Flip indicates they'll be looking for upside types; maybe euro players.  Full presser is here.

Other Notes:

• Flip expects Rick Adelman to be back saying they "talk every day".  Great news for Wolves fans.
• Saunders says that former Gopher Colton Iverson is much improved from his time at the Barn.  Iverson agrees saying, "I'm not the slow slug you saw for three years." 
• Nate Sandell has a nice piece about Trevor Mbakwe and how he needs to overcome his lack of size, injury concerns and old off court issues to make it to the pros.
• Knicks F Chris Copeland is drawing interest and the rumor is the Knicks won't be able to match any offers because they are cap strapped.
• Former 10th overall pick Jimmer Fredette is being shopped and the rumor is it will only take a 2nd round pick to get the former BYU sharpshooter.  In two seasons off the bench Fredette has shot 38.4% from 3 point range.  The Wolves have two second rounders, but they're probably much too late in the round to get Fredette.  He would add to their whiteness and outside shooting.
• The Celtics are trying to move Paul Pierce, with an end game of landing Josh Smith in a separate sign and trade deal with the Hawks.  The only two teams that have the cap space to take on Pierce's $15MM contract are Cleveland and Milwaukee. 
• Metta World Peace will decide to accept his $7.7MM player option, making him the anti-Latrell Sprewell.
• Shooter JR Smith is declining his option to return to the Knicks and is electing free agency.  He has to be considered one of the top shooting guards along with OJ Mayo.

NBA Preview Atlantic Division

I'm an NBA fan, so sue me.  Here's a quick preview of each team in the Eastern Conference - Atlantic division, complete with haikus.

NETS!

Russian Billionare
Watch him spend fat stacks of cash.
They're still pretty meh.

The Nets made some moves both in their roster and to their new home in Brooklyn.  The add mega-overpaid sharpshooter Joe Johnson, malcontent Andray Blatche, Bosnian sharpshooter Mirza Teletovic and Josh Childress's afro.  I worry that neither Humphries nor Lopez can play much D and there are a lot of chuckers but Deron Williams is still really the only creator.

Starting Unit:
PG Deron Williams
SG Joe Johnson
SF Gerald "Crash" Wallace
PF Kris "My dad owns a Five Guys in Duluth" Humphries
C  Brook Lopez

Sportsbook.com has them at a 46 win o/u which puts them in the bottom half of the playoff hunt.  This sounds about right to me, but since I predict stuff sometimes, I'll say under 46.

Linsadity.

No Jeremy Lin
Hear Amare's knees creakin'
Luxury tax free!

The New York Knicks of all teams suddenly became frugal when the Rockets fed them the poison pill that was Jeremy Lin's contract, they spit it out and overpaid for Jason Kidd and Raymond Felton instead.  Melo is back and feels well, but Amar'e is hurt and Chandler isn't 100% either and it's October.  I'd like to see Novak shoot a billion 3s this year for fantasy purposes. 

Starting Unit:
PG Raymond Felton
SG Ronnie Brewer
SF Carmelo Anthony
PF Amar'e Stoudamire +
C  Tyson Chandler

I'll take the under 45.5 here.

Even the cheerleaders are old!

Rondo, Pierce, Garnett
The new big three minus Ray
Garnett has tourette's

Ray Allen left for the Miami sunshine after what appears to be a falling out with Rondo and perhaps others.  Ray always seemed like the only normal guy in the bunch, so good for him.  The Celtic's got what appears to be a steal with Jared Sullinger in the draft.  They also signed Jason Terry to replace Allen.  Terry isn't quite the sharpshooter but he's much more active and will help to push the pace. 

Starting Unit:
PG Rajon Rondo
SG Courtney Lee
SF Paul Pierce
PF Brandon Bass
C  Kevin Garnett

O/U is 50.5 wins for the Celtics, I think their depth is enough to give them over.

Iggy sent packing
So this is where Bynum went?
Is he injured yet?

The Sixers were a part of the Dwight Howard move to the Lakers and they landed Andrew Bynum in the process.  Bynum is an elite-ish center when healthy, but is almost constantly hurt.  In fact, he won't start the season as he's still recovering from a knee injury.  Iguodala's move to Denver frees up minutes for Evan Turner to finally either sink or swim.  The 2010 #2 overall pick has floundered somewhat under Doug Collins, earning only 26 minutes a game last season.  Turner isn't a big time scorer, but he's a great ball handler, distributor and rebounder. The Sixers also added chucker Nick Young, aging vet Jason Richardson and former fantasy basketball stud Dorell Wright.  Wright is the best player of the bunch and none of these guys should prevent Thaddeus Young from getting minutes; we'll see if Doug Collins realizes that.


Starting Unit:
PG Jrue Holiday
SG Jason Richardson
SF Evan Turner
PF Spencer Hawes
C  Andrew Bynum +

They'll miss the defensive presence and pace of Iguodala and after Hawes and Bynum (when alive) it's Kwame Brown and Lavoy Allen (no clue) in the front-court.  Therefore, I'll take under 45.5 wins.

Nice haircut, girl on right

Raptors are still bad
Overpaying for Landry Fields...
Probably won't help

The Raptors also cherry-picked from the Knicks to grab swing-man Landry "Strawberry" Fields.  You'd think the Knicks were good or something last year.  They paid too much and with first round pick Terrence Ross, there's now a glut at the SG/SF spot.  Terrence will towel waive for now.   Andrea Bargnani is healthy and he's alongside another foreigner up front in 20 year old Jonas Valanciunas.  JV has big upside and will get tossed in there at center because the alternative is Aaron Gray.   The Raptors also added Kyle Lowry at the point.  The Villanova product finally got to show what he could do the last couple of seasons in Houston and showed he can be a 14/4/7 guy with a solid defensive presence. 

Starting Unit:
PG Kyle Lowry
SG Landry Fields
SF DeMar DeRozan
PF Andrea Bargnani
C  Jonas Valanciunas

The Raptors come in with a 34.5 o/u.  They were 23-43 in a shortened season last year, while I think they'll be better, they are a team with a lot of parts and no real direction yet.  They'll spend most of the year figuring out who can and should play.  I'll go under.  This also makes me realize I picked under for everyone but the Celtics in this division.  Oh well.

NBA Moves in Review

I'm changing up the Week in Review a bit here, and rather than looking sportswide at everything that's happened in the NBA so far with the crazy free agent period that's upon us and, as per usual, pointing out the five goods and the five bads.  Make sense?  I certainly hope so because it's pretty simple.  What are you, some kind of idiot?


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis to the Miami Heat. The Heat won the championship in case you hadn't heard yet so there wasn't really a huge need to upgrade and with Lebron, Wade, and Bosh there they didn't have a whole lot of of flexibility, but they managed to upgrade in a big-time way and made the prohibitive favorite for next year even more prohibitiveable. Now instead of Shane Battier and Mike Miller taking all the open threes that are created by their offense, it's going to be Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis. For reference, Battier was a career 38% shooter going into last season (and shot 38% this year) and Miller was at 40% and hit 45% this season. Allen is a career 40% who has been 44% or better the past two years, and Lewis is a career 39%. Looking strictly at those numbers it looks like a push, but Allen is peaking as a shooter as he ages, Miller can't stay healthy and hasn't played in more than 53 games the last three years, Battier is toast as a defender, and both Allen and Lewis are defensive upgrades - for a team that's biggest asset as an overall squad was defense. Make no mistake - barring injury or an ugly "disease of more" situation there's no way Miami doesn't win the title. None. I know, I hate it too.

2.  Jason Terry to the Boston Celtics.  The main reason the Celtics should stay competitive next season is KG suddenly showing some resurgence and Rajon Rondo remains the most confounding and interesting and one of the most unstoppable point guards in the league.  But grabbing Jason Terry to replace the newly departed Ray Allen is a pretty big reason as well.  Terry doesn't shoot as well as Allen but he's not far off, and he's a better defender, scorer, and passer and, assuming they keep him in that same sixth man role he played in Dallas he brings more energy to the game when he enters than the more subdued Allen, as well as more athleticism as well - something the super old Celtics can use.  The C's weren't without some questionable moves this offseason - the 3 years to KG and the holy shit huge contract they gave to Jeff Green for some reason - but Boston will be in the thick of the East when it all comes down to it.  I look forward to 20 annoyingly homerrific articles on them from Bill Simmons next year.

3.  Dallas Mavericks sign Elton Brand and Chris Kaman and trade for Darren Collison. The funny thing about Dallas is I'm pretty sure they didn't really expect to be rebuilt into a contender again unless they managed to sign Deron Williams, so after he re-signed with the Nets give Mark Cuban credit for making an effort rather than giving up, because it's working out. The trade for Collison might be the most important part after losing Jason Kidd to New York and not getting Williams, because although he's no great superstar Collison gives them an excellent starting point guard and they got him for basically nothing (see below). They then signed Chris Kaman to a super cheap 1-year/$8 million deal and won an amnesty bid on Elton Brand for just $2.1 million and suddenly they've remade the team without crippling themselves for the future. Given the strength of the league they aren't a serious contender most likely, but a lineup of Collison/Delonte West or Jones/Shawn Marion/Nowitzki/Kaman with Brand coming off the bench is absolutely a play-off team and probably a 4-5 seed, and then they'll have a whole mess of cap room next year to take a run at Howard or whoever. Bravo.

4.  Lakers trade draft picks for Steve Nash. Yes, the problems with a Nash/Kobe pairing are apparent, but if things work out and they figure out how to make it work the Lakers become instant contenders to win the West, even if they stand pat and don't end up with Dwight Howard. And I don't see how it's not worth the gamble considering all it cost them was a few pretty worthless draft picks. No matter what you think of Kobe, and I hate him, he is a pretty savvy basketball mind and he should be able to figure out how to play off Nash. As long as his ego will allow him to become a spot-up shooter more often and let Nash work the offense it will benefit him (he can be more fresh later in the season and/or for his when he inevitably breaks out hero ball in fourth quarters), as well as Gasol and Bynum working off pick-and-rolls and post-ups. Of course this all relies on one of the most selfish players I've even seen (I'd put as more selfish than Iverson based on Iverson needing to play that way to win where Kobe could easily let Gasol and Bynum get more involved and probably make the team significantly better) realizing he needs to change if the teams going to win so it's pretty much a toss-up if it'll work, but again, it pretty much cost the Lakers nothing to make this gamble and if they win they're a good bet to end up losing in the Finals to the Heat.

5.  Washington Wizards trade for Emeka Okafor and Trevor Ariza. It was a minor move in the big scheme of things, but picking up Okafor and Ariza for the bloated contract of Rashard Lewis (who was then bought out), along with last year's late trade where they picked up Nene for Javale McGee and the drafting of Bradly Beal gives them a starting five of John Wall/Beal/Ariza/Nene/Okafor, which is a definite playoff contender in the East and for a team that hasn't made the playoffs in five years and has only won a single playoff series since 1983 and hasn't won more than 26 games since 2007 it's a big step forward. Not to mention that Okafor, Ariza, and I think Nene will be dropping off the payroll in two years, which should be enough time to figure out exactly what they have in Beal and Wall and rebuild their team around those two. I don't know exactly how we ended up here, but the Wizards are doing a really great job all of a sudden. Now, they'll probably end up trading a couple of guys for Hedo Turkoglu or Spencer Hawes and then we'll be all like, "I knew it" but for now? Curiouser and curiouser.


WHO SUCKED

1.   Charlotte Bobcats trade Corey Maggette to Detroit Pistons for Ben Gordon.  There are a million good reasons to trade Corey Maggette.  He really does nothing but score, he blocks Michael Kidd-Gilchrist's playing time, he makes too much money, and if you're trying to rebuild there's really zero reason to have him around because he's got a bit of a cancer to him as well.  Thing is though, I don't know that trading him for Gordon and his $25.6 million he's still got coming his way is what makes sense.  I guess he gives you shooting, which the Bobcats need and doesn't duplicate Gilchrist's skillset, and by all accounts is a good dude, and you're getting rid of Corey Maggette who is someone teams should always strive to get rid of, so maybe the Pistons made the bad end of the deal here.  Actually I think they both lost.

2.   Houston Rockets go all in to try to get Dwight Howard.  I understand Houston trying to lure Howard there, even if its more for a rental, and then hoping he'd end up staying, but I kind of feel like once they started they didn't know how to just stop because although they've compiled a lot of assets they're all just kind of like, lame assets.  A bunch of middle first round picks and a bunch of guys who drafted in middle rounds I'm not so sure do them much good.  Their best asset, a Raptors first round pick, is probably going to be lottery but to get it they gave up Kyle Lowry, who might have been worth more.  They've traded off pretty much the entire roster and even amnestied Luis Scola, who is no great shakes but did average 16 & 7 last season.  And it looks like the upside is trading away all these assets for Howard and a whole bunch of crap like Hedo Turkoglu and Jason Richardson and the way too much money they're owed. If this works and they get Howard and can somehow convince Chris Paul to sign then this has all been a genius move. Anything else and it's been just a cluster of WTF.

3.   Similarly, Orlando Magic have no clue what to do.  Is the big plan now to go through a second straight season of circus?  I get that it's tough to trade a guy of Howard's magnitude and that makes sense, but at some point you bite the bullet and figure it out - and don't think Howard doesn't deserve an equal portion of the blame for this crazytown as well, especially for signing his option for this year instead of just becoming a free agent.  Not to mention that the places Howard seems best suited for (Lakers, Hawks) he seems to have no interest in and the places he wants to go are Brooklyn (which can't make it work) and Cleveland (wait what?) while the place that is busting there ass for him (Houston) he doesn't really want to go nor can they figure out a way to put enough players around him to both trade for him and field a competitive team.  All that does is pretty much guarantee another year of same old-same old, because Brooklyn's signing of Brook Lopez kills that trade so it's either L.A., Houston, or it's another year of pussying around and figuring this shit out.  But hey, the Magic resigned Jameer Nelson while letting their second best player (Ryan Anderson) walk, so sounds like a huge ole win for Magic fans.  HAVE A GREAT SEASON!

4.   Indiana Pacers go kind of crazy for unathletic big men.  You'd think when Portland offered Roy Hibbert a max deal the Pacers would be all like, "Take 'em" and then giggle under their breath like when Dawger inevitably drafts someone like Roy Helu and then holds onto him for like six years in our keeper league just waiting for that breakout season.  But instead they matched so they can pay like $1 million per blocked shot this year.  Not only that, but they also drafted Miles or Mason Plumlee (I don't feel like looking it up) when Perry Jones and well, let's face it anybody other than a poor man's Cherokee Parks was available - and this is a team that already has Tyler Hansbrough.  Then they traded Collison so they could get Ian Mahinmi and paid him way too much money and, in case you haven't heard of him like me, he's another center.  Overall just a bizarre turn of events, especially for a team that has generally seemed to make pretty smart decisions. So maybe it'll turn out I'm wrong here, I suppose there's a first time for almost everything.

5.   Phoenix Suns assemble a 20-win team.  I can't figure out Phoneix's angle.  They traded Nash for very little, seemingly opening up playing time for their first round pick Kendall Marshall, but then went out and signed Goran Dragic for 4 years and $36 million, apparently blocking Marshall for the length of his rookie contract.  Not only will Dragic be a career back-up making starter money, but he's not a true distributor and the Suns traded him just a couple of seasons ago (along with a first round pick) for Aaron Brooks who they're now letting go in free agency.  So they paid a first round pick to accomplish nothing.  They then signed Michael Beasley for three years and won an amnesty bid on Luis Scola, then found out the Hornets matched their max offer to Eric Gordon and vowed to match any offer extended to Robin Lopez, he of the career averages of six points and three boards per game.  I'm not suggesting I could have done better, although it wouldn't have surprised me either, but all these moves just reek of a 16-year kid playing franchise mode on NBA Live with no real concise or clear plan for rebuilding post-Nash.  I suppose that shouldn't be surprising from a management group that gave huge money to both Josh Childress and Hakim Warrick and routinely sells it's first round picks for cash, but it seems like they're in on every player just because why not that's why.  Now they're the leaders for OJ Mayo as well.  This team makes zero sense the way it's constructed.

There's also plenty of Wolves' stuff to discuss as well, including this semi-bizarre Nic Batum showdown, but we'll get to that down the road when everything is finalized.  And probably TRE will do it not me because he's way more crazy about the T-Wolves than normal people.



Finally, for those of you who believe in prayer send them this way (and if you don't, send good thoughts), I will forward them on.  I don't want to say too much since it isn't my place, but someone who all regulars to the blog know well could use them right now.

Monday Musings

-  I was actually intending to make this a report on the Gopher hoops recruiting so far for 2013, but it turns out there's pretty much nothing to report.  There are still zero commitments, which I knew, but the list of names is really underwhelming, if you believe the recruiting services.  According to ESPN the Gophers have nine offers out, but the highest ranking ESPN gives any of the players who they say have received one is an 79.  To put that in perspective, 2012 signee Wally Ellenson is a 90, and Oto Osenieks was an 87 as was Justin Cobbs.  Which means that according to ESPN Tubby is currently looking to get guys who are at the same level of Dan Monson type recruits.  Now, these recruiting gurus aren't always right because they had both Al Nolen and Devoe Joseph ranked in the 70s and they turned into contributors at the very least, but still it's not exactly an exciting list.

Rivals has it a bit different with the Gophers having extended 18 offers, and there are two players of interest who they give a rank of 4 stars who remained uncommitted:  G Juwan Parker (#94 overall) and G Xavier Rathan-Mayes (#66).  Of course, Parker has already narrowed his list to Memphis, Georgia, or Stanford and Mayes has teams like Kansas, Texas, Arizona, Memphis, and NC State after him so the odds on the Gophers are pretty negligible.  I'll stay more in the loop when things pick up, but man there's is just nothing to report right now.  A couple of names of interest are G Martez Walker and F Nick Fuller who are both lefties and shooters (Walker is a guard, Fuller a small foward) who ESPN lists as "considering" the Gophers, however neither site lists the Gophers as having made an offer to either of them so I don't know.  In short, there's nothing happening and that's super uplifting and makes me really, really happy for the future of the team.

-  So the NBA Draft happened without the Wolves involvement.  I actually watched the entire first round and was typing up a live blog type of deal but then I got behind and then I realized I was writing a paragraph for each pick and that was way too many words to read or type and also I got bored so I quit.  A few quick NBA thoughts, however:

• Outside of the top 3 picks, who were the right guys and right situations I thought, the pick of the draft was pretty clearly Perry Jones to the Thunder at #28.  Once again, OKC proves their front office is better than most.  Let's see, Jones was a top-3 pick if he came out last year, had a so-so sophomore season at Baylor where he shrunk from the pressure in big games, but was still expected in the late lottery and then slides to the end of the first due to a knee injury?  When nobody really knows how serious it is?  I get that if you had a lottery pick you'd rather not roll the dice here, but Fab Melo?  John Jenkins?  Miles fucking Plumlee?  It's ludicrous to me that someone would rather have those guys with almost zero upside than a guy like Jones.  Plus, Jones probably needed one of two things out of the team drafting him to succeed - either an athletic team that likes to get up and down where he can use his athleticism to be a big-time asset in transition or a team with one or two established alpha stars so he wouldn't have to face the pressure of being a savior.  And guess what?  He got both.  And bless the Thunder for not being as dumb as everyone else and realizing it makes infinitely more sense to roll the dice that a big-time talent like Jones will be healthy than burning the pick on Festus Ezeli or Jae Crowder.  I mean seriously.
• Speaking of Jones, even though the Wolves would have had their pick of him, Jared Sullinger, or Terrence Jones if they had kept #18 I still think the trade for Budinger was the right call.  First, you probably couldn't have guessing any of those three would have been there at 18.  Second, they all have serious question marks where you know you're getting a decent scorer who can shoot in Budinger, and thirdly, they all play PF and Kevin Love is probably going to be pretty good for the next 3.5 years before he demands a trade and says he'd never sign another contract with Minnesota after the slapped him in the face by offering him a 4-year deal instead of a five.  So yeah, I like the pick-up.
• Hopefully the Wolves can get Batum as well.  He's a restricted free agent so Portland may match the 4 years and $50ish million the Wolves have offered, but the Blazers have also, ridiculously, offered a max contract to Roy Hibbert which I can't imagine the Pacers matching (especially since they just drafted his replacement in the awesome Miles Plumlee).  Batum, Love, and Rubio are a pretty solid foundation (Batum's only 23) for the next few years.  And Derrick Williams, if he ends up figuring it out.  And speaking of....
• I'm really not sure what to think of this Pau Gasol heat we're hearing.  I can see why the Wolves might want him.  Skilled big man who can play next to Love, excellent high post passer whose unselfish game will translate well with the kind of culture Rubio breeds just by playing with him, him and Ricky can get tacos together or watch bullfighting on tv or whatever, which will only make Rubio more comfortable, which can only be a good thing.  I'm not really sure why they're so hot to move on from Derrick Williams already but if Rick Adelman is done with him that's good enough for me.  I have gotten a distinct whiff of "loses the necessary weight to play the 3 but turns himself into nothing but a 3-point specialist" at the same time.  It's either that or he figures out how to be an undersized 4, and I'm just not seeing it.  I guess I'm in favor of trading Williams and getting Gasol back.  I just think Gasol, Rubio, Batum, Love, Pekovic, Ridnour, Barea, and Budinger make this a really fun team, and now that I type that out I look like a racist.  Great.
• So since I'm on board with getting Gasol and trading Williams, and Dwight Howard has managed to completely destroy his own image in Orlando, and the Nets just traded for Joe Johnson and his ridiculous contract, resigned Gerald Wallace, and want to resign Deron Williams so they're probably not in the Howard discussion anymore, tell me how much this makes sense:
• Wolves trade Derrick Williams, Luke Ridnour, Martell Webster, Brad Miller, and Wes Johnson and receive Pau Gasol and Jason Richardson
• Lakers trade Gasol and Andrew Bynum and get Dwight Howard, Martell Webster, and Luke Ridnour
• Magic trade Howard and Richardson and receive Derrick Williams, Wes Johnson, Brad Miller, and Andrew Bynum
• It works under the salary rules, and everybody gets what they want.  The Wolves get Gasol and a veteran shooting guard they could certainly use in Richardson.  He isn't the athlete he once was but he still averaged 12 points per game and shot 37% from three last year and could take over for Wes Johnson's minutes, especially with Barea playing more point with Ridnour gone.  The Lakers get Howard, who they covet, but also pick up Ridnour to play the point - a major weakness for them this past season.  They also get Webster, who can give them some bench scoring which is another issue for them.  And the Magic get two great pieces to build around in Williams and Bynum, as well as a young guard in Johnson and cap relief in Miller.  It's not perfect - Richardson's contract sucks for the Wolves and the Lakers are maybe giving up a tad too much in both Bynum and Gasol, but I really think this trade makes good sense for all three parties (if you're on the Gasol train).  Really, it's pretty much a genius idea by me.  
• Back to the draft quick, I thought their were two really poor moves - one in the lottery and one late.  The Meyers Leonard pick baffles me because I never thought he'd be a first round pick let alone a top 10 guy, or at least not after last season.  He's athletic for a 7-footer and can shoot free throws, but Tyler Zeller is a rich man's version of Leonard and John Henson is basically guaranteed to be a rotation player at worst because of his defense.  Both were available, and either would have been a better pick than Leonard.  The other move was the Heat trading Arnett Moultrie.  A defensive and rebounding specialist who led the SEC in rebounding last year and was 9th in the country, and despite averaging a double-double last year he wasn't remotely an offensive player.  He could patrol the paint for the Heat and grab rebounds and block a few shots and score off put-backs every once in a while.  He was perfect for that team, yet they traded him to Philly for Justin Hamilton, a poor man's Arnett Moultrie.  They got a future first as well, but dude was a perfect fit.  Reminds me a lot of when the Wolves traded Mario Chalmers even though they desperately needed a PG.  Buncha clown shoes running' teams these days.
• I should also mention Tony Wroten to the Grizz is a really nice pick that late in the draft (at #25).  Odds are he flames out, as most late firsts do, but he has a whole lot of potential and is a sick athlete.  He had some troubling numbers in college, namely 58% free-throw shooting, 16% 3-point shooting, and 3.8 turnovers per game, but if you watched him play at all it was clear he had an NBA body with NBA athleticism and just couldn't harness himself within the college game (which is why Circus Ball U was a perfect fit for him).  That certainly doesn't guarantee NBA success as Corey Benjamin, DerMarr Johnson, and Jerome Moiso could tell you, but it's better than taking Miles fucking Plumlee.
• Keep an eye on the Hawks right now.  They just dumped Joe Johnson's contract to the Nets and then followed that up by sending Marvin Williams and his awful contract to Utah for Devin Harris.  Johnson is owed something like $100 million over the next four years (I'm not exaggerating) while Marvin is owed $16 million over the next two.  Atlanta suddenly has a ton of cap space, is Dwight Howard's home town, still have Josh Smith (good friend of Howard's) and just acquired Anthony Morrow (another Howard buddy) in the Johnson deal.  So they'll have tons of cap space plus retained some tradeable assets (Al Horford, Jeff Teague), two interesting rookies (John Jenkins, Mike Scott), and picked up a future first rounder (protected) in the Johnson trade.  Suddenly a Howard and Chris Paul pairing is a realistic possibility.  If Howard can wait it out and he and Paul sign you're looking at Paul/Morrow/Smith/Horford/Howard.  That's pretty whoa.

- That was certainly a lot of words about NBA things.  I certainly didn't see that coming.

Tuesday Talkings

I know you're wondering if this blog is dead.  It's not, I promise.  I've just been really busy.  What with work, heading to the cabin, kids' stuff, and my wife currently reading 50 Shades of Grey, I just am having trouble finding time to blog anything.  And there isn't exactly any motivation either.  Look at the Twins.  They're terrible, and the Gophers don't play for like, 100 years.  I don't know.  But I haven't been following any sports too closely the last few days/weeks, so let me look around and see if I see anything interesting. And I better hurry too, because it looks like Mrs. W is cracking the book open again.

- Because right now I can't possibly summon the will to blog about the Twins but I know I should at least try to start with something local I suppose we could discuss the Vikings' NFL draft.  Obviously everyone knew Kalil was the guy the whole time and the Vikings did quite well to get three extra picks to move down a spot and still get their guy, especially because it turns out nobody else was remotely interested in moving down to that spot so suck it Cleveland.  That safety they moved up to get at the end of the second round sounds pretty cool too since I heard somebody say there were really only two good safeties and they moved up to get one of them.

As far as the draft after that I am willing to admit I don't have a clue and if you know a whole lot about the rest of who they picked you should be embarrassed.  Seriously, anybody who watched more than the first round of that garbage should be forced to take a class on not being a moron.  I bet you're the kind of guy who watched the 3-hour show on ESPN the day the NFL schedule was released.  Seriously you people and your football.  As Jessie Spano once said, "who wants to watch a bunch of barbarians kicking each other's butts"?  Ok I'm not quite there because I enjoy watching football, but the obsession in this country makes me realize why Nickelback and Olive Garden are so popular.  Oh, and blood sausage.  People like blood sausage.

Seriously, people are morons.  Why do you think they end up making money at the end of Field of Dreams?  Because people get in their cars and drive to Iowa without knowing why to pay money to stare at a ball field full of players they can't see?  Everyone always says the ending of that movie (wanna have a catch?) is so great but it just pisses me off.

-  NBA Playoffs are up and running and since that's the best time to watch the NBA I might as well comment, even though we're only a couple games into round 1.  And obviously it's super lame with the Dwight Howard fake back injury and the Derrick Rose ACL because the Heat are going to just waltz into the Finals.  You can try to talk yourself into the Celtics, especially if you're Bill Simmons, but it's looking like they're going to struggle to even get past the Hawks and I just don't see them mounting any serious challenge to the Heat, nor anyone else in the East.  Which I guess is good in a way, because what's better than rooting against a villain?  There's something very satisfying about watching LeBron make it to the finals again and lose.

Who will he be playing is the question?  Going into the playoffs I'd have said Oklahoma City and I don't see any reason to change that prediction.  I'm not ready to say they're ready to be the champs quite yet but going against the defending champs and winning a couple of close games is the way to get there, even if the defending champs don't have Tyson Chandler anymore who is a complete stud pimp.  But really I can see any team other than the Jazz ending up coming out of the West.

The Nuggets would probably be the least likely and it'll be tough for them to get past the Lakers, but Ty Lawson is all crazy good now all of a sudden and this late season emergence of Kenneth Faried make them interesting (and am I the only one who finds "Manimal" a little bit racist?  Anyone?  No?  Let me guess you think the gorillas in the barnyard weren't racist either.)   Every other team at least has a shot, and the Spurs have the #1 seed, a collection of second round picks, and are supposedly the favorite but that just seems weird because Tim Duncan is a hundred years old and kind of a poofer.  I almost feel like I'm going to have to root for the Lakers because I don't know who else can beat the Heat.  But what if the Heat played the Lakers?  Who would I root for?  It would be like choosing between my two kids.  Actually, do you have two kids under the age of 4?  Because I'm totally lying, it would be almost exactly like picking between my two kids.

-  I just did 36 push-ups.  Suck it.

-  Who grounds out to second base more than Mauer?  Nobody, that's who.  Is there a way to look this up?  I'd do it but I'm running out of time.

-  Seriously question though, do you think when Marky Mark goes home for like, Thanksgiving dinner he just teases the shit out of Donnie?  I mean really?  Rizzoli and Isles? Blue Bloods?  Zookeeper for fucks sake?  Those are the last three things on his imdb list.  When Marky makes a bad flick it's something like  Contrabrand (made $66 million) or Date Night ($98m) which at least makes money, and he's getting nominated for awards along the way.  Donnie was just in a TV movie with Brian Dennehy who I'm pretty sure is dead.  Really, I bet when they get together for Christmas everybody gets drunk and Mark starts wadding up and throwing hundred dollar bills at Donnie's head and at first Donnie wants to fight but then he realizes if he keeps sitting there and taking it eventually he's going to get his rent paid so he just takes it and then he ends up making Marky Mark a sandwich.

-  Gotta go

Oh my god this would be so awesome

If you're like everybody else in the world, including myself, you aren't paying a whole ton of attention to the whole NBA labor deal.  It's basically a mess where the owners are trying to screw the players, the players can't get out of their own way, and half the owners don't even want to get a deal done because they'd rather not have a season this year.  Plus, with the NBA ranking behind college hoops, baseball, the NFL, and maybe even golf in my sports watching hierarchy I haven't really missed it yet, even if I like tossing it on the tv from time to time.  I've basically just kind of half-assed followed this whole deal by paying attention to headlines and reading things here or there, but a couple of things happened today that really made me perk up.

First, the players rejected the latest offer from the owners which was supposedly an ultimatum of sorts from the owner/league side.  It sounds like the owners won't move to more than a 50/50 split and are continually writing things in that the players don't like and the players are the only ones making any concessions here, so they're frustrated.  It sounds like they will move to attempt to call for a vote to decertify the union and then file an antitrust suit against the NBA - similar to what the NFL players did.

Now, what makes this more interesting this time is that according to David Stern if there is no union then the contracts signed between players and teams are invalid because those contracts are entered into with the understanding that there is a players union (I don't know if this is writing or how clearly it's spelled out).  Stern and the owners plan is to take it to a judge and hope he rules the contracts are invalid.  So what means that?

It means every player is suddenly a free agent.  Which can go one of two ways IF that happens and IF the contracts don't somehow get reinstated and IF the NBA ever reforms.  The first is that it's just an outright bidding frenzy where players can sign with whomever which would lead to superteams forming in Miami, New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, and the other big, attractive markets and kill basketball in Minnesota, Milwaukee, Toronto, Indiana, etc. (well, more than it already has) and would really just destroy the NBA in general.  The other, far more attractive option, would be a full league dispersal draft.

What?  Yes.  You know how when you buy any sports video game you might have a season/dynasty with your favorite team but if there's a draft option you will also have a draft and inevitably you end up enjoying the drafted season and your other one just kind of goes by the wayside?  Yeah, like that.  But it could be for real.

I know, you're all, "dude yeah right" and you're probably right.  There is an awful lot that would have to happen, and happen in those specific ways, to get to this point, but make no mistake it is an ACTUAL possibility at this point.  This would simply be the greatest thing that's ever happened in the history of all sports ever.  Keep your fingers crossed folks.  It could really happen.


OTHER NOTES FROM LAST NIGHT:

-  Gophers beat South Dakota State 71-55 in another game where they struggled early and were behind in the middle of the second half before closing the game out with a big run.  Eventually that's going to catch up to them, but for now they're 2-0 and both wins are over teams that have legit chances to reach the NCAA Tournament.  I'd write more, but for some reason Old Man sold our tickets to some jackass Snacks works with and the stupid thing wasn't on TV.  And no, I'm not paying $9.99 for a month to see this garbage.  I do, however, have the replay on BTN set to Tivo, so I'll have more info on this later in the week.  For now, I just want to point out this sequence from the play-by-play:

9:04		48-52	Chip Armelin Block.
9:01		48-52	Chip Armelin Defensive Rebound.
9:01		48-54	Andre Hollins made Layup. Assisted by Chip Armelin.

But this one might even be better:

0:28		28-28	Chip Armelin Steal.
0:24		28-30	Chip Armelin made Layup.
0:14	Nate Wolters Turnover.	28-30
0:14		28-30	Chip Armelin Steal.
0:12		28-32	Chip Armelin made Layup.

I love that guy. 

-  Purdue almost had the first embarrassing loss for the Big 10 this season, beating High Point by a mere two points tonight and the only reason they won is Ryne Smith hit 8 three-pointers.  Yikes.  High Point wouldn't just be a bad loss, it'd be disastrous. 

- ESPN is doing there 24-hour college basketball kick-off marathon tonight/tomorrow.  I wish they had done this several years ago when I would have gone ahead and watched the whole thing, including skipping classes because hey, any excuse to not go to class, am i right?  As it is now, I'm just looking forward to checking out that nifty Drexel vs. Rider game and/or Morehead St vs. Charleston when I have to get up with my stupid kid in the morning.  I guess day hoops at work is pretty sweet though. 

-  I'm currently reading this book, because I rather enjoy the kind of book that blends science and history and turns it into an entertaining blend of action/mystery.  Similar to Dan Brown's books, although I consider Douglas Preston, Lincoln Child, and James Rollins to be far superior to Brown, even if I still think Angels & Demons was one of the best in this genre.  Anyway, there are three books that suck more than anything else I've ever read:  Meg by Steve Alten (he ends up getting swallowed by a Meglodon and then swimming around in it's body for christ's sake), Hannibal Rising (a clear cash grab where you could tell the author was putting words to paper simply for the check), and some book about the Loch Ness monster that I don't remember that was just a complete mess.  Well I hate to say it, but this baby might be the fourth on my list.  It's just so, so dull and boring.  I've had to page back a couple of times to try to figure out who certain characters are because none of them are remotely memorable.  Just terrible.

-  Clay Matthews is the top and A.J. Hawk is the bottom, right?

-  Eventually I'll write something about the Twins signing Jayme Carroll, I promise.

-  Finally, watch this:



Oh hell yes.

6 Very Important Things from Last Night

Remember last year there was that very exciting 2-week or so period where I was writing daily posts so you worker drones would have something to do while you drink your coffee at your desk every morning?   And then my stupid second baby was born and that all went right out the window?  Well, I'm bringing it back.  Daily posts, either regular type posts or, if I don't have anything I'm thinking about writing about, I'll do it in this "6 things" list format.  Starting today and going until I get bored or lazy.

1. Drew Butera is my hero.  Mauer schmauer, who needs 'em?  The Twinks won their second straight, beating the Orioles 5-3 last night and giving Francisco Liriano his first win of the season.  Matt Capps tried to blow the game in the ninth by giving up a crushed home run to Luke Scott, but it turns out when you're up by three no matter how long of a home run you give up it's still only worth one point.

The real story of the game, however, was "no hit" Butera who went 2-4 with a career high three RBI, two coming on a big double in the second to give the Twins the lead, and the last one coming in the ninth, helping to give the Twins in a little insurance, something they will always need since they have the world's worst bullpen.  So a multi-hit game with three RBI, clutch hits, zero stolen bases by Baltimore probably because they were too afraid to run on his cannon arm, and such an outstanding ability to all a game that he made Francisco Liriano, Jose Mijares, and Jim Hoey all good, and Matt Capps only allowed one run which I assume is a season best?  I think this might be the Joe Mauer we always wanted, and without all the little baby injuries and "viruses."  With the DH spot already locked up I think it's time we start exploring trading him before it's too late.  I'll have to have a post later this week looking at what the Twins might be able to get for Mauer.  Stay tuned.

2.  Harrison Barnes is coming back.  Yep, Barnes, a consensus top-3 pick in the NBA draft, will be returning to North Carolina for his sophomore hoops season.  The effect of this is two-fold.  First, with John Henson and Tyler Zeller also staying in school plus the additions of James McAdoo (Rivals #8 overall player nationally and a guy who is just going to be ridiculous), P.J. Hairston (#14 nationally), and Desmond Hubert(#15 Center), the Tar Heels are going to be the prohibitive favorite to win the National Title (although if Kendall Marshall gets hurt it's over for them - he's the single most important player in college basketball next year).  The second, and more Minnesota-centric, effect is that this year's NBA draft is going to completely suck.  With Barnes, Baylor's Perry Jones, and Ohio State's Jared Sullinger all staying in school the only real blue-chippers are Arizona's Derrick Williams and Duke's Kyrie Irving.  We've all been here before.  Pencil the Wolves in for the third pick.  And of course with next year shaping up to be one of the deepest and best classes in recent memory the Wolves have already traded their pick.  Oof.

3.  This guy who was almost a Twin can really hit the ball.  And he's a shortstop.  You may remember the name Jed Lowrie, because he was part of the package the Red Sox offered the Twins for Johan Santana way back when.  The full offer was Lowrie, Jon freaking Lester, Justin Masterson, and Coco Crisp.  Lowrie is currently hitting .516 with 2 home runs after going 4-5 with a dinger today in the Red Sox 9-0 thumping of Toronto, and would be leading the league in average with just a few more plate appearances (not to mention he'd be tied for the team lead in homers if he was a Twin) and is starting to look like a potential franchise type shortstop.

Which means that with a different decision, Johan could have netted the Twins a possible franchise shortstop, a #1/#2 type starter, a potential #3/#4 type starter (depending on your opinion of Masterson), and another outfielder who could have been a trade chip, made someone else a trade chip, or at a minimum might have stopped the Twins from picking up Cuddy Bear's option which pays him $11 fucking million this year to hit singles.  Instead, they ended up netting out with two crappy relievers the Orioles didn't want (yes Hoey looked ok last night) and a pitching prospect who lost velocity and can't get out of double-A.  I know hindsight is 20/20, and I know that according to prospect rankings the trade with the Mets looked about on par with the Sox trade, but god damn it does it rankle me every time I see Lowrie or Lester do well.  Imagine how much better this team would be if that was the trade they made.  I'm going to go light something on fire.   

4.  Use up that $2.27 million signing bonus already?  In what can only be described as "totally fucking bizarre", Cincinnati Reds second year pitcher Mike Leake was arrested for stealing $60 worth of shirts from Macy's.  I totally don't get it because first of all Leake's signing bonus a year and a half ago was $2.27 million.  Second, he is making $425 million this year.  Third, he stole six shirts whose total cost was $59.98, or under 10 bucks a piece.  Fourth, the guy is a total stud and is soon, within the next couple few years, going to end up signing a nice big contract.  Fifth, what the fuck?   And finally, these are apparently the brand of shirts he was stealing.  What the hell?  You're telling me you can't just go down to ragstock or the salvation army and get the same thing for like a buck a piece?

Only two possible explanations here.  First, Leake must be a huge pothead and was just confused. like Smokey after he ate too much corn.  If I may be allowed to generalize and stereotype, Leake has surfer hair and went to Arizona State, so I'll assume he's not unfamiliar with the herb.  Plus he went straight to the pros from the minors so he hasn't really had any time to "grow-up" or "be poor", if you will.  The second possibility is that Macy's is somehow infested with a demon that causes athletes to steal even when it's the dumbest thing they could possibly do.  Is it possible that Royce White was really innocent and it was just some evil force that made him try to steal those pants and push that old man?  Maybe Fred Hoiberg is a secret Choctaw shaman who was able to recognize that Royce was good at heart and was just possessed, cast out the demon, and is now ready to reap the rewards of an All-American season.  Stupid Baptist Tubby.  I bet if they had hired Archambeau he'd be all over this.

5.  Look out, world.  Here comes Pricey.  Tampa's David Price burst onto the scene in the 2008 playoffs, had a decent rookie year, then last year finished second in the Cy Young balloting, so his slow start this year was a bit puzzling.  Well you can stop worrying so much, because he completely shut down the Sox last night, going 8 shut-out innings, allowing just four hits and striking out nine.  That's the Price I'm talkin' about.  Plus he did it to the White Sox, the most evil team in the history of evil, even worse than the Nazis or Packers.  Does this make David Price some kind of Angel or maybe God?  But in November of 2007 the owner dude changed the team name from Devil Rays to Rays, just three short months after they drafted and signed Price.  Coincidence?  You tell me, Robert Stack.  You tell me.

6.  The Pacers almost did it again.  For the second straight game the Pacers looked like they might be in position to steal a win in Chicago, and for the second straight game Derrick Rose said "No soup for you."  Seriously, this guy is ridiculous and completely unguardable.  When it gets down to it in the fourth Chicago justs shifts into the "give Rose the ball and everybody get out of the way" offense and he gets to the rim and either finishes, gets fouled, or finds an open teammate - and nobody on the Pacers can keep him out of the lane.  Last night he scored 14 of his 36 in the fourth quarter, similar to Game 1 when he scored 9 of his 37 in the quarter and came up with the game's biggest play on an assist to Kyle Korver for a three to give the Bulls the lead.  Completely ridiculous.  This is just like watching me play at the Y - completely unstoppable.

It's FANNNNNNNNNNNNNnnn-tastic!

Because I can't possibly bring myself to write or even comment on the complete breakdown the Twins displayed tonight I'm going to need to find something else to write about as an outlet for my rage because, let's face it, if Mrs. W goes to the doctor for pain medication after falling down the stairs again some questions are going to be asked.  Since I know iff there's one thing everyone in the world cares about it's the NBA Playoffs (which start Saturday), so let's break these matchups down.  Not super in depth or anything because I'm actually not all that NBA smart, believe it or not, and I don't know much but I know I love you and that may be all I need to know.


EASTERN CONFERENCE:

#1 Chicago Bulls vs. #8 Indiana Pacers:  First off I'm completely stunned that the Pacers made the playoffs.  I had no idea this kind of thing had happened.  I thought they simply transformed from the thug life of Stephen Jackson, the craziest son of a bitch in all of sports, and Ron Artest into the blinding whiteness of Troy Murphy, Mike Dunleavy, and Tyler Hansbrough and that was that.  But apparently having Darren Collison and Danny Granger, despite the presence of Roy Hibbert, is enough to get you into the NBA Playoffs.  Where they will get destroyed by the Bulls.  Chicago in 4.

#4 Orlando Magic vs. #5 Atlanta Hawks:  This is a total mis-match because there are four good teams in the East, of which Orlando is one of them and Atlanta is not.  And who is going to stop Dwight Howard?  Al Horford?  Please.  The Hawks only chance is if Howard does that thing where he just seems not all that interested in dominating and just kind of stands around while Jameer and Redick and Penny chuck up threes all day.  Even if that happens, Orlando is probably still the favorite.  Magic in five.

#2 Miami Heat vs. #7 Philadelphia 76ers:   The Heat are vulnerable for sure, partially because I still think they're going to struggle a bit, alpha dog wise, and LeBron has essentially proven to be the Rory McIlroy of NBA playoffs, but there are a couple reasons that upset won't happen here.  The first is Dwayne Wade, who is still the type of player who can single-handedly win a series, and the second reason is that Philly's leading scorer, rebounder, and shot-blocker is Elton freaking Brand.  Somebody like Jodie Meeks or Lou Williams or even Jrue Holiday could heat up and scare 'em, and that'll probably happen in a game or two, but I don't think the Sixers can really threaten Miami.  Heat in five.

#3 Boston Celtics vs. #6 New York Knicks.  This is the match-up where I see an upset brewing.  Just having playoff basketball at Madison Square Garden is going to give them a huge jolt (don't forget that at its heart New York is a basketball town), Carmelo and Amare are going to get theirs, and the Celtics really haven't been the same since they traded Kendrick Perkins.  If the Knicks can get anybody to step up and be their third scorer (Billups or Fields seem the most likely) they will knock off the Celtics.  Which is good because I'm really sick of these dorks and Boston fans deserve to have something bad happen to them.  Knicks in six (Knicks +300 to win the series is an oustanding value bet).


WESTERN CONFERENCE

#1 San Antonio Spurs vs. Memphis Grizzlies.  Nice to see Memphis in the playoffs, proving that was once an apparent basketball wasteland can revive itself and become a semi-promising playoff team.  Of course, they aren't saddled with a regime that didn't hire their new coach before a draft where they had two top picks, then took two point guards with those picks, and then hired a coach who is committed to running an offense that not only doesn't emphasize a point guard but actively ignores the position.  Great job, a-holes.  Anyway Memphis is probably going to be a little feisty (Zach Randolph is at least 50/50 to start a minor scuffle), but they won't be able to seriously scare San Antonio.  Spurs in six.


#4 Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Denver Nuggets.  This doesn't feel like a 4/5 matchup - at all.  It feels more like a team with no stars taking on a team that is on the verge of becoming a groin grabbingly good team.  Denver's best player is probably Ray Felton, who is a nice player and all, but he'd be like the third or fourth wheel on OKC, and thanks to the Perkins trade the Thunder are now perfectly constructed to make a run at the title this year, especially if James Harden plays with his head out of his ass.  These guys are only -220 to win this series, when I'm thinking they should be more like -400 or -500.  Good bet.

#2 Los Angeles Lakers vs. #7 New Orleans Hornets.  The latest Kobe "controversy" shouldn't matter to the team, just as it shouldn't matter to anybody else because honestly you people are just looking for something to get upset about.   If you want to be upset about anything, try dealing with people who try to make small talk all day long.  Seriously, if someone at your work is offering free food and you don't really know them, either quickly and quietly grab the food and be on your way or just pass on it all together, don't decide to make chit-chat so you feel better about being a fatty because honestly it just makes my skin crawl when you make me talk to you about absolutely nothing.  And this happens all the time.  I've got the creepy crawlies going up my back just thinking about it.  Lakers in six.

#3 Dallas Mavericks vs. #6 Portland Trail Blazers.  The Blazers are shaping up to be a pretty popular upset pick because of the matchup (nobody on Dallas can handle Aldridge), and to be honest I took Portland for a little bit because the odds are decent at +180, but I think Dallas takes this one.  First of all, as much trouble as the Mavs are going to have with Aldridge, nobody seems to be mentioning how much of a match-up problem Dirk is.  Maybe it's because he's always a match-up problem and has been for like 15 years or maybe it's because he seems like such a dork, but he should have an oustanding series.  Secondly, one of other big reasons the Blazers are a popular pick is that they've been "rejuvenated" by Gerald Wallace.  What?  This guy sucks and has simply been putting up good stats on bad teams because nobody who plays gives enough of a shit to guard him because they know his team sucks.  Now he's suddenly going to carry a team to a playoff upset?  Sorry, but no.  Mavs in seven.



It all gets started Monday, and I highly recommend watching.  I don't watch much NBA during the season on account of it being stupid, but the playoffs are whole different animal and I'm honestly like a drunken monkey with a fistful of Chuck E. Cheese tokens waiting for it.  If you have a chance at any point, check it out, particularly if you used to love the NBA but now hate it.  It's very good.

Six Very Important Things this Morning 8.12.2010

1.  Reverse the curse?  I'm not surprised the Twins lost there, because Perkins vs. Danks is clearly tilted in the White Sox favor, but I'm really unsettled by how they lost.  Getting thrown out at third trying to stretch a double into a triple?  Failing to turn an easy double play?  Making multiple errors?  Picking a runner off of first but being unable to get the actual out because of a poor throw by the first baseman?  Having a pitcher failing to cover first on a grounder to the first baseman?  Not being able to get a big hit?  These are all the same things we've watched the Sox do against the Twins, and are the reason the Sox, Guillen, and their fans felt cursed against the Twins.

I don't want to take anything from Danksy, because he was brilliant tonight and kept the Twins off balance all game, but the Twins made damn sure they had no chance to win tonight.  Perkins didn't pitch well by any means, but he wasn't completely awful and he gave the team a solid chance to win.  Except that they played like morons.  Or, more accurately, the played like the White Sox, while the Sox played like the Twins.  If tonight was a sign of the roles flipping and we have to expect that kind of shit for the next 7 years or whatever you can count me out.  I'm going to track down the Zoltar Machine at Sea Point Park and get that crazy gypsy to fix this shit right quick.

2.  Break up the O's?  Don't look now, but suddenly the Orioles are white hot.  After beating the Indians tonight Baltimore has suddenly won four games in a row, which might not seem like a huge deal but you have to realize that is 10% of their victories on the season.  Even more shocking, the won thanks to a Brad Bergesen 2-hit shutout.  Let that one sink in for a moment.  Brad Bergeson with the 5.84 ERA.  Brad Bergesen with the 1.53 WHIP.  Brad Bergesen who hasn't won a game in his last 13 starts.  Brad Bergesen with the unbent bill of his cap.  Brad Bergesen who once got hurt shooting a commercial.  Apparently anything Buck Showalter touches turns instantly to gold.  Word is Joel Maturi has inquired to see if he has any interest in Gopher football.

3.  There was a fun trade in the NBA.  This isn't exactly going to shake the NBA landscape, but any time you get a four-team, five-player trade it's worth noting because hey, that's fun.  Houston traded Trevor Ariza to the Hornets, who traded Darren Collison and James Posey to the Pacers, who traded Troy Murphy to the Nets, who traded Courtney Lee to the Rockets.  So the Hornets get a good player to show Chris Paul they are serious about winning (although Ariza, really?), the Pacers get a steal in getting a potential top line PG for a slow white dork, while the Nets can use that same slow white guy to eat up minutes so they don't have to force Derrick Favors to play too much too quickly.  And the Rockets shed some salary, which they needed to after signing a bunch of large contracts this offseason, but get back a good quality, young rotation player at the same time.  The elusive win-win-win-win trade.  Meanwhile the Timberwolves traded a player they just signed last year for 4 years and $16 million dollars for two players who they immediately cut, assuming Telfair has been cut by now.  So I guess it's win-win-win-win-win.  Go team.    

4.  It's wide open.  The season's fourth and final major, the PGA Championship, starts today, and it's an absolutely wide open field.  The usual favorite is a complete mess, the #2 guy just completely melted down last Sunday, can't take advantage of his opportunities to become the world #1 and sucks at links style golf (which this course is), and the #3 isn't entered due to injury.  Beyond that there about 30 different guys who have a legit chance to win this and you could make a solid argument for.  I won't do that, but I will give you my top 6 and a sleeper:

1.  Rory McIlroy

2.  Steve Stricker

3.  Jeff Overton

4.  Retief Goosen

5.  Nick Watney

6.  Graeme McDowell

SLEEPER:  Ross Fisher

This, of course, means that Hunter Mahan is going to win.

5.  The most dangerous player in the Big Ten may have found a new home.  Chris Allen, the most dangerous player in the Big Ten and if you disagree I will fight you, recently visited our good friend Freddy Hoiberg at Iowa State and it sounds like he might be leaning towards joining the Cyclones.  This would help Hoiberg with his apparent need to collect players of questionable moral character - which of course is genius for him.  The Clones have been a nightmare since Jake Sullivan left, and no offense to Ames (which is currently underwater) but I've visited there and I don't exactly see a lot that would be a draw for a big-time recruit.  As such, collecting talented players whose background's scare other team's off is a calculated, and I think smart, risk that could bring this team back to prominence.  Or they crash and burn and suck and nobody notices the difference.

6.  Finally, the Great Villain triumphs.  If you've read this post of mine or have heard me talk about it since or have pretty much ever been to my house, you'll seen the greatest movie ever, "The King of Kong" by now.  I'm not going to break it all the way down for you here, but seriously if you haven't seen it you have to go find it on Netflix or Blockbuster or Vudu or CinemaNow or whatever - go watch it.  It is the most fascinating look at the people who make up the world of championship gaming (retro games only, of course) centering around a battle for the world record of Donkey Kong between Steve Wiebe (clearly painted as the hero) and Billy Mitchell (clearly painted as the villain).  Of course, it wasn't too difficult to make him look bad, since his combination of smugness and douchery has only been seen before in a villain in an 80s movie (Karate Kid, Back to School, and Teen Wolf immediately come to mind), but douche though he may be, he once again has set the World Record in Donkey Kong (and Donkey Kong Jr. to boot).

Seriously, find a way to watch this and watch it.  I'm not being sarcastic or ironic or anything like that.  It is epically awesome to watch.  Check this:


Please, I beg you, watch this movie.

Are You Sick of Lebron Yet?

Well thank god that's over.  As even your shut-in aunt who orders groceries through the internet because she's afraid to leave the house and her six cats, three birds, and 80 china dolls and who hasn't seen a live tree in years but is a level 80 paladin has probably heard by now, Lebron James is going to sign with the Heat and create SuperTeam, ending literally years of speculation - years that have felt like eons, at this point. 

I really don't know what was more annoying:  Lebron's arrogance or people complaining about Lebron's arrogance.  Not counting angry old white people, I think most sports fans were willing to give Lebron and company some leeway, seeing as how these are guys in their mid-to-late twenties who have made millions and are about to make some pretty big decisions, not to mention that this was the best free agent class in the history of the NBA and it wasn't even close - of course they were going to dominate headlines. (now that my friends, is a run-on sentence) 

The tipping point, however, seemed to be this one-hour special on ESPN to announce James' decision.  This took a lot of people from patient, indulgent, and "kids being kids" to irritated, disgusted, and "disgrace to the game."  It's hard not to be one of these people.  I don't want to rehash the same things that have already been rehashed by everybody within a six-foot radius of a keyboard or a pencil, but, like many, I like Kevin Durant just a little bit more now, Lebron a little bit less (although not nearly as much as most others), and Scott Baker a whole lot less.

I do feel a little bit of sympathy for him, to be honest, or at least as much as one can feel for someone who may end up earning a billion dollars in his career - a career which will likely end before he turns 40.  He was really in a no-win situation, and was going to get ripped no matter what he did.  Of course, he did handle this with all the finesse of Grawp, so it's tough to have more than the tiniest smidgeon of sympathy.  Worse than anything LeBron did, outside of referring to himself in the third person as "the King", were some of the arguments and teeth-nashing from others who somehow felt that they were entitled to an opinion in this whole garbage dump.

My personal favorite was from some clown on KFAN (nobody I have ever heard on there before) who was ranting and raving about how if Lebron chose Miami it was a travesty of justice and made the NBA a joke because:

1.  They are buying a championship
2.  They are guaranteed to become a dynasty
3.  It's unfair to everyone because they are getting these three players without having to give anything up.

First off, point #2 is stupid, because they may have three super stars, but anyone who knows anything about sports knows what injuries can do.  Further than that, they are going to have so much money tied up in those three guys that who knows what else they are going to end up filling the roster with.  It will probably be mostly crap, and those three guys are going to be playing 40+ minutes every single night, which leads to both injuries and tired legs.  They are probably not even the #1 favorite to win next year.  Ok, actually they are, but it's not that clear cut. 

As for the rest, it's ludicrous.  This isn't the Yankees outspending everybody else.  There is a salary cap, and everyone has to abide by it.  There were several teams that have been planning for this for two years or more, and they very much have had to make sacrifices and give things up.  The Bulls just gave away Kirk Hinrich for nothing.  The Heat traded a nice young player in Daequan Cook away for nothing, and had to give up a first round pick in order to do it.  The Knicks have been planning for this for years.  If the Heat hadn't gotten these there, their entire roster would have been Michael Beasley and Mario Chalmers.  That was there entire list of players under contract.  As it stands now, they have to fill in the rest of the team with minimum or near-minimum guys.

The Lakers still have the same team, but with a better point guard.  The Celtics are older, but they're still intact and added Jermaine O'Neal.  The Bulls got better.  The Magic are just as good.  Dallas got better.  And the Thunder are absolutely on their way.  This isn't going to be a slam dunk.

Imagine this.  Heat vs. Lakers in the finals.  With all the freaking out people are doing, with all the hate pouring in about Lebron (seriously, check Twitter - or anywhere on the internet, people are losing their shit), with all the built in anti-favorite bias everyone seems to have.....would the world root for Kobe?

Last thought. 

Lebron, Bosh, and Wade are all taking less than max contracts, less than they could get elsewhere, in order to go after a title (or more) and play together because they are good friends. 

Can you really begrudge them that?

Week in Review - 7/5/2010

Way too tired from the weekend at the cabin to do a true introduction here, so I'm not going to. And the fishing sucked.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1. Cliff Lee. Cliffy just keeps driving his price up. He's about as white hot as a pitcher can get, throwing 17 innings this week and giving up just four runs while striking out 13 and walking just two. That included a complete game win over the Yankees, which made Lee's third straight complete game and the fourth in a stretch of five games.  His ERA is now down to 2.34, and his strikeout-to-walk ratio is 100-8.  Yes, 100-8.  Frankly, dude is redonkulous and he's peaking right now.  It might be expensive for the Twins to get him, but if they haven't given up on the season yet (and frankly, they might want to consider that) they need to pay whatever Seattle wants, because if Detroit or the White Sox get him, it's over.  Well, more over than it already is.  

2. Carl Crawford.  He ripped up the Twins pretty good, which followed him ripping up the Red Sox pretty good, in a season where he's ripping up pretty much everybody.  And I just love this guy.  He could stand to walk a little bit more, but how can you not love a guy who's going to hit .300 for you with 15 homers, 30 doubles, ten triples, and steal 60 bases at about an 85% clip?  In baseball history, a player has stole at least 50 bases, been caught 10 times or less, and hit 10 home runs in a single season just 19 times - Crawford has done it three times (Rickey also did it three times).  And guess what kids?  He's a free agent after this season.  If they are actually committed to making Cuddy Bear into a third baseman, I say go all the way and put him there full-time next year, sign Crawford, let Thome walk, and move Kubel to full-time DH.  Seriously, Crawford is so good.  Gimme gimme gimme I need I need. 

3. Justin Rose.  Pretty good bounce back for Rose this week at the AT&T National.  Last week, Rose looked like he was going to be the runaway winner at the Travelers after stringing together three good rounds, but a disastrous 75 on Sunday dropped him to ninth.  This week, rather than let that derail what has been a good year, he went out and did it again, racing out to a big lead by Sunday, but avoided the crash and shot a final round 70 in route to a one-shot win over Ryan Moore.  That means his last three tournaments have gone win-should have won-win, and he's absolutely peaking for the British Open in two weeks, a tournament where he generally plays pretty well.  And I was just able to snag him early this week at 33-1 to win.   

4.  Matt LaPorta. You remember LaPorta, right?  He was the big centerpiece in the deal the Brewers made to acquire C.C. Sabathia from the Indians (a deal that, despite the results, should be the blueprint for the Twins to acquire Cliff Lee).  Since then he's kind of puttered around, hitting .254 in 200 ABs last year and .236 so far this year, all while showing the power of Nick Punto - not exactly what was expected of him.  But since the Indians traded Russ Branyan last week and installed him as the full-time first basemen he's shown flashes.  He started the week with a home run in three straight games, bringing his season total to four, and then closed the week with a three-hit game against Oakland.  It might not be much, but he has raised his average from .211 when he was sent down in early June to .236 now, so maybe he's figuring it out.  Or maybe it's a small sample size fluke.

5.  Miguel Olivo.  If you've been paying any attention to Matt Wieters, and I know I have, you know he sucks beyond anything since Mark Salas.  The reason I bring that up, is that Wieters sucked so bad we had to bench him in fantasy, and to replace him in the lineup Snake picked up Olivo - and it's paid off brilliantly.  After thrashing the Padres and Giants this week to the tune of .409/.435/.727, which included a 9-16 stretch, he's now hitting .307 for the year with 11 home runs and 39 RBI.  Notice anything fun about those numbers?  Yep, they're all better than what Joe Mauer is doing.  Just a brilliant move by the Royals letting this dude go and instead tossing a shitload of money at crappy old Jason Kendall instead.  There's a reason Kansas City hasn't been relevant since the early 90s.  Also Miguel Olivo is better than Joe Mauer.  Fact.



WHO SUCKED

1. South America.  Brazil and Argentina were two of the favorites to win the World Cup, and may even have been the top two teams, depending on who you asked.  And with teams like England, France, and Italy already eliminated their paths to the final looked almost preordained.  Unfortunately for them, Germany and the Netherlands had other ideas.  First, the Dutch knocked of Brazil 2-1 thanks to an own goal and an ejection, and then the Germans completely destroyed Argentina 4-0, their third game with four goals in the tournament.  They are looking awfully good right now, and I'd expect the winner of Germany/Spain on Wednesday day ends up taking this thing.  No offense to Uruguay or the Netherlands, but I'd put my money on the Germans.   

2.  Timberwolves.  I'm sorry, but they are seriously confusing the crap out of me.  I don't really know what they were doing with the draft last year, I don't know what they were doing this year, and I don't have any idea what they're doing with their cap room.  Bringing over Pekovic is fine, and it sounds like he's supposed to look pretty good, but signing Darko to a 4-year, $20 million when nobody else was going to offer him four years or $5 per year?  This contract should have been either 4 years/$8 million or 2 years/$6 million.  Such a bizarre decision.  I heard somebody on the radio describe David Kahn as the scariest GM in ball, but not because of his plan or anything, but because he seems to be doing the kind of long-term damage that can ruin a franchise.  I believe it.  I seriously have no idea what he's thinking.

3.  Matt Guerrier. Not a great week for Mr. Guerrier, who allowed at least one run in three of his four appearances this week, including that complete meltdown on Saturday.  His overall numbers are still good (ERA of 2.82, WHIP of 1.12) and he continues to be effective despite mediocre stuff, so let's hope this isn't the start of his annual "tired arm meltdown."  Despite all the times perception doesn't match reality, occasionally they sync up;  Guerriers ERAs for April-September:  3.59, 1.97, 2.75, 3.15, 4.66, 4.27.  He's heading towards a possible third straight year leading the league in appearances, so I'd say the burnout is more likely than not.  Let's hope Neshek and/or Condrey are ready when his arm gets tuckered out so they can just be plugged in.

4.  Dontrelle Willis.  Well you got to figure that's about it for Willis, barring a complete reinvention, after he was designated for assignment by the D-Backs earlier this week - which makes two teams that have given up on him this year (the D-Backs got him from the Tigers for essentially nothing).  He walked 27 batters in 22 innings for Arizona, and has basically been a walk machine since he went crazy bananas back in 2008 when he walked an astonishing 35 batters in 24 innings, which followed a 2007 where he led the league in runs allowed (as in he allowed the most runs, not the fewest).  Hard to believe this is the same guy who burst on the scene and won rookie of the year in 2003 and then put up a gem of a season in 2005 and finished runner-up in the Cy Young voting.  He's only 28, but I'm not betting on a comeback because that's now three full seasons of complete disaster.  I am now resisting putting a "D-Train/Trainwreck) joke.  I'll save those for Jesse Crain.

5.  NBA Free Agency.  I know I already mentioned the Wolves, but overall this has been pretty boring, right?  Nowitzki back to Dallas.  Pierce back to the Celtics.  Gay back to the Grizz.  Joe Johnson gets his max deal (mistake), but it's to go back and be a Hawk again.  Lame.  The only remotely interesting deal so far is Steve Blake to the Lakers, which is a nice deal for everyone involved.  It sounds like Amar'e has either already agreed or is close to agreeing to a deal with the Knicks, and the Suns have clearly moved on, signing both Channing Frye and Hakim Warrick, so maybe this will get things moving.  I'm thinking Wade and Bosh to the Bulls, LeBron to the Knicks and then they swing a deal for a point guard (Tony Parker?).  I don't know what is going to happen to the Wolves, but I'm willing to bet they overpay for David Lee despite the fact that his numbers came on a bad D'Antoni team and as such are inflated two ways, and then, since they have Lee, Love, and Jefferson they'll trade Jefferson for fifty cents.  Great.  Awesome.  Sweet.



Also way too tired for an outro.  If you don't like it you can go to hell.  I have an 8am fart-tastic meeting tomorrow, what do you want from me?

Two Live Blogs for the Price of One

I finally have a chance to sit and watch a Twins game in peace and to completion, and on an actual TV with actual sound instead of on the computer, so why not live blog it?  Of course, it's already the bottom of the seventh and the Twins are down 2-1 to the Yankees, but still.  It's a real TV with actual sound.  Which could definitely be a negative.  Whatever.  You suck.

8:08 - Delmoney!  Just as I sit down to watch, Delmoney hits one about 390 off the wall to tie the game at 2-2.  So runner on second with one out.  I would be willing to bet any amount of money that they don't get that run home.

8:10 - Like clockwork, Hardy bounces it right back to Pettitte who catches Delmon too far off the base and he's erased.  The ghost of Lew Ford strikes again.  Now it's a runner on first with Harris up and two outs.  I would now be willing to bet any amount of money x 2 they don't take the lead.

8:13 - Maybe Delmon would be a good name for a boy (Baby Boy W = 11 weeks from arrival and counting).  Or do I go with Delmoney?  Or just Delmon, but call him Delmoney?  Man, there are so many decisions you have to make with a kid on the way.

8:15 - Guerrier is in.  I kind of hope he ends up facing A-Rod.  Just because he can't possibly give up another home run, can he?  It's not like we're talking Jesse Crain here.

8:17 - A quick box score check shows A-Rod made the last out in the last inning, so this is definitely the safest time to put ole Matty Yardball in the game.

8:18 - Francisco Cervelli.  That's just fun to say.  And have you seen some of these guys on the Yankees now?  Juan Miranda.  Ramiro Pena.  Damaso Marte.  Alfredo Aceves.  Boone Logan.  Sergio Mitre.  They're like a linguist's dream.  And also sound like the roster of the Puerto Rican team from the World Baseball Classic.

8:21 - He walks Cervelli.  Walks will haunt.

8:25 - Butera just hit the ball as far as he can, which was really just in the gap, and it was still almost caught by Gardner, but just went off his glove.  First career extra base hit.  Congrats.  Way to only get a double, slow ass.

8:26 - Hold up.  Why the mother hell isn't Gardy pinch running here?  I know Mauer is DHing so if you pinch run and he moves to catcher you lose your DH.  But it's the 8th damn inning in a 2-2 game.  Guess what you do here?  YOU PINCH RUN GOD DAMMIT!  It's the 8th!  Odds are that spot won't even come up again.  And if he's trying to sac bunt - which he is with Span - even if you get Butera to third you'll have to hit it very deep to get him in.  This move makes zero sense at all.  None.  Zero.

8:28 - Awesome.  Span makes a bad bunt, Butera freezes at second, but A-Rod boots it and it's now first and third and nobody is going to say a word about not pinch running.  Bert and Dick haven't even hinted at it.  God this is annoying.  I hope Butera gets tossed out tagging on a medium deep fly ball.

8:29 - Line out.  1 down.  Mauer up.  This is screaming 4-6-3.

8:29 - Serious, Gardy makes more game mistakes than anybody I've ever seen ever, but this crap always happens and nobody ever calls him on it.  I have no problem granting that he is clearly a good manager in terms of managing people/egos/whatever, but his game management skills are worse than Dawger trying to manage a fantasy football team.

8:34 - My bad.  It was 6-4-3.  What a waste of an inning.  I wish I could blame this on Gardy somehow.  That was still a really stupid non-pinch run, even though it ended up not mattering.  It will at some point.  I often wonder if the Twins would make it further in the playoffs with somebody who understood basic strategy.  I bet he loses to kindergartners in checkers often.

8:36 - That GB Leighton song is brutal.

8:40 - Swisher with a monster blast off of Rauch.  Mariano is about to get two saves in one day.  Sweet.  I'm so glad I'm watching.

8:41 - I really liked the Lost finale, by the way, if you're wondering.  And I'm sure you are.

8:42 - Cuddyer has a pretty good arm, throwing out Tex going for two on a ball hit into the corner.  I'm still depressed.

8:45 -  So Pettitte warms up, but then before Morneau gets to hit they pull him and bring in Rivera.  So clearly the whole point of having Pettitte warm up was just to stall.  Doesn't seem legal.  Dick and Bert are saying it's supposed to be against the rules, so that basically guarantees it's completely legal, but it seems like it shouldn't be.  If I cared I'd be outraged.

8:49 - Cuddy lines one into the dugout.  I'll bet anything he was trying to take out Gardy.  I now approve of Cuddyer.

8:52 - Three weak grounders and we're done.  And if you thought this blog post was boring, the game was ten times worse.


Will the fourth quarter of the Eastern Conference Finals be any better?  I'm guessing no.

9:41 -  I took a short break to watch Above the Rim before I remembered this game was on.  How can you not love a basketball movie with 2-Pac, Marlon Wayans, and a guy who plays basketball against an imaginary opponent with no ball.  Plus, Bernie Mac back when he was funny before he got all popular and then sucked.   GET OFF OF ME!!!!!!!

9:42 - I don't know what happened, but Big Baby apparently got clocked in the head and is quite a bit disoriented right now.  So disoriented, that he basically sprinted right at the ref, who to his credit didn't get out of the way.  I don't know about you, but if a big black man is sprinting towards me with a crazed look in his eye my general strategy is to throw my wallet at him and run.

9:44 - Oh, and by the way that whole sequence was ten times more fun than the Twins game.  He went down like Zach Galifanwhatever when Tyson decked him in The Hangover.  Great movie.

9:46 -  We're heading to the fourth with the Tragic up 9.  Let's hope for a little entertainment here.

9:47 - When you go to put in labels for the posts (the little tags below each post), as you are typing tags you've used in the past with the same letter combinations popup.  When I was typing "Orlando Magic" in there, "Magic Taco" popped up.  I have zero idea what this could be referring to.

9:50 - Jason Williams is still playing, by the way, and after toning down the And 1 Mix Tape Tour crap he's actually a really solid back-up point guard.  It's kind of tough to get past the "White Chocolate" nickname, though.  Plus how he framed Randy Moss back in high school for all the issues he had.  It wasn't moss, it was Whitey Chocolate holding him down.  I'd mention his high school transgressions here, but for the life of me I can't remember what any of them were or why he ended up at Marshall.  I think he might have punched out some dumb white hick at a bowling alley, but that might have been Allen Iverson.

9:53 - Speaking of And 1, did anybody ever watch that show on MTV from like seven or so years ago, where it was basically Top Chef but instead of cooking it was basketball?  And instead of basketball it was street ball?  And Magic Johnson hosted?  And some white guy won?  It was so, so awesome.  I need to find a way to watch it again.  Plus, not working from home anymore I can't get my And 1 Tour fix on ESPN2 from noon - one every afternoon.  At least they're bringing back NBA Jam.  I love fake basketball.

9:56 - Oh my god.  Tell me Rico Tucker wouldn't be a dominant force on the And 1 Tour.  I should shoot him a message on facebook and tell him.  We're friends, so he wouldn't mind.

9:57 - Rashard Lewis has 12 points tonight.  I think that is what he had in games 1-4 combined.

9:58 - So I just checked, and it turns out Snacks put us down for the Magic to outscore the Celtics from the 12:00 mark to the 6:00 mark of the fourth quarter, and for the 6:00 to 0:00 half-quarter as well.  I didn't even know you could bet half quarters.  I think one of us has a problem.

10:00 - So it seems Kendrick Perkins was ejected for getting two technicals, and now Big Baby is down with a dented forehead, so guys playing relevant minutes for the Celtics include Nate Robinson, who is a good dunker for a midget and good in an uptempo game - the opposite of what the Celtics do, Marquis Daniels, who has been a third-stringer for like 10 teams in 10 years, and Michael Finley, who actually makes the Celtics average age increase by coming in the game.

10:02 - I haven't looked this up to verify or anything, but when Garnett, Pierce, Allen, Finley, and Rasheed are one the floor together, which they haven't been all night, their combined age is 207.

10:05 - Orlando is up 13 with 7:24 left.  Why is everything so boring tonight?  I actually have full control over the TV, and I'm bored out of my mind.  Watching Bernie Mac and that kid from that movie play one-on-one for Boomps is the most entertained I've been.  I wish I had a White Men Can't Jump DVD here.

10:08 - In case you were wondering, Rasheed can still shoot.  Also in case you're wondering, it would be pretty damn funny if the Celtics blew a 3-0 lead in the same year the Bruins blew a 3-0 lead.  I only know that because I heard it on the radio.  No, I don't watch hockey.  I'm not some kind of mouth-breathing cretin.

10:12 - The lead is now 18.  This is really fun.

10:16 - Marquis Daniels ended up leaving with a concussion at some point when I wasn't paying attention.  That explains everything.

10:18 - Lot of effort out there on both sides.  It's just a battle.  You got to love this passion and drive.  This is why the NBA is so much better than college, nobody is out there just going through the motions.  So much love for the game.

10:25 - Just realized that Kendrick Perkins is now automatically suspended for game 6 since he got ejected in game 5.  He's super, super important for the Celtics because he's basically the only one who can guard Howard.  And the play he got his second tech on was pretty bad, like NBA the fix is in bad.  Except I'm pretty sure the NBA wants Celtics/Lakers, so expect them to change the rules to get Perkins back in there.

10:27 - Game over.  Post over.  What a waste of time this all was.  Although if I wasted just one other person's time reading this, then I've done my part.