I finally have a chance to sit and watch a Twins game in peace and to completion, and on an actual TV with actual sound instead of on the computer, so why not live blog it? Of course, it's already the bottom of the seventh and the Twins are down 2-1 to the Yankees, but still. It's a real TV with actual sound. Which could definitely be a negative. Whatever. You suck.
8:08 - Delmoney! Just as I sit down to watch, Delmoney hits one about 390 off the wall to tie the game at 2-2. So runner on second with one out. I would be willing to bet any amount of money that they don't get that run home.
8:10 - Like clockwork, Hardy bounces it right back to Pettitte who catches Delmon too far off the base and he's erased. The ghost of Lew Ford strikes again. Now it's a runner on first with Harris up and two outs. I would now be willing to bet any amount of money x 2 they don't take the lead.
8:13 - Maybe Delmon would be a good name for a boy (Baby Boy W = 11 weeks from arrival and counting). Or do I go with Delmoney? Or just Delmon, but call him Delmoney? Man, there are so many decisions you have to make with a kid on the way.
8:15 - Guerrier is in. I kind of hope he ends up facing A-Rod. Just because he can't possibly give up another home run, can he? It's not like we're talking Jesse Crain here.
8:17 - A quick box score check shows A-Rod made the last out in the last inning, so this is definitely the safest time to put ole Matty Yardball in the game.
8:18 - Francisco Cervelli. That's just fun to say. And have you seen some of these guys on the Yankees now? Juan Miranda. Ramiro Pena. Damaso Marte. Alfredo Aceves. Boone Logan. Sergio Mitre. They're like a linguist's dream. And also sound like the roster of the Puerto Rican team from the World Baseball Classic.
8:21 - He walks Cervelli. Walks will haunt.
8:25 - Butera just hit the ball as far as he can, which was really just in the gap, and it was still almost caught by Gardner, but just went off his glove. First career extra base hit. Congrats. Way to only get a double, slow ass.
8:26 - Hold up. Why the mother hell isn't Gardy pinch running here? I know Mauer is DHing so if you pinch run and he moves to catcher you lose your DH. But it's the 8th damn inning in a 2-2 game. Guess what you do here? YOU PINCH RUN GOD DAMMIT! It's the 8th! Odds are that spot won't even come up again. And if he's trying to sac bunt - which he is with Span - even if you get Butera to third you'll have to hit it very deep to get him in. This move makes zero sense at all. None. Zero.
8:28 - Awesome. Span makes a bad bunt, Butera freezes at second, but A-Rod boots it and it's now first and third and nobody is going to say a word about not pinch running. Bert and Dick haven't even hinted at it. God this is annoying. I hope Butera gets tossed out tagging on a medium deep fly ball.
8:29 - Line out. 1 down. Mauer up. This is screaming 4-6-3.
8:29 - Serious, Gardy makes more game mistakes than anybody I've ever seen ever, but this crap always happens and nobody ever calls him on it. I have no problem granting that he is clearly a good manager in terms of managing people/egos/whatever, but his game management skills are worse than Dawger trying to manage a fantasy football team.
8:34 - My bad. It was 6-4-3. What a waste of an inning. I wish I could blame this on Gardy somehow. That was still a really stupid non-pinch run, even though it ended up not mattering. It will at some point. I often wonder if the Twins would make it further in the playoffs with somebody who understood basic strategy. I bet he loses to kindergartners in checkers often.
8:36 - That GB Leighton song is brutal.
8:40 - Swisher with a monster blast off of Rauch. Mariano is about to get two saves in one day. Sweet. I'm so glad I'm watching.
8:41 - I really liked the Lost finale, by the way, if you're wondering. And I'm sure you are.
8:42 - Cuddyer has a pretty good arm, throwing out Tex going for two on a ball hit into the corner. I'm still depressed.
8:45 - So Pettitte warms up, but then before Morneau gets to hit they pull him and bring in Rivera. So clearly the whole point of having Pettitte warm up was just to stall. Doesn't seem legal. Dick and Bert are saying it's supposed to be against the rules, so that basically guarantees it's completely legal, but it seems like it shouldn't be. If I cared I'd be outraged.
8:49 - Cuddy lines one into the dugout. I'll bet anything he was trying to take out Gardy. I now approve of Cuddyer.
8:52 - Three weak grounders and we're done. And if you thought this blog post was boring, the game was ten times worse.
Will the fourth quarter of the Eastern Conference Finals be any better? I'm guessing no.
9:41 - I took a short break to watch Above the Rim before I remembered this game was on. How can you not love a basketball movie with 2-Pac, Marlon Wayans, and a guy who plays basketball against an imaginary opponent with no ball. Plus, Bernie Mac back when he was funny before he got all popular and then sucked. GET OFF OF ME!!!!!!!
9:42 - I don't know what happened, but Big Baby apparently got clocked in the head and is quite a bit disoriented right now. So disoriented, that he basically sprinted right at the ref, who to his credit didn't get out of the way. I don't know about you, but if a big black man is sprinting towards me with a crazed look in his eye my general strategy is to throw my wallet at him and run.
9:44 - Oh, and by the way that whole sequence was ten times more fun than the Twins game. He went down like Zach Galifanwhatever when Tyson decked him in The Hangover. Great movie.
9:46 - We're heading to the fourth with the Tragic up 9. Let's hope for a little entertainment here.
9:47 - When you go to put in labels for the posts (the little tags below each post), as you are typing tags you've used in the past with the same letter combinations popup. When I was typing "Orlando Magic" in there, "Magic Taco" popped up. I have zero idea what this could be referring to.
9:50 - Jason Williams is still playing, by the way, and after toning down the And 1 Mix Tape Tour crap he's actually a really solid back-up point guard. It's kind of tough to get past the "White Chocolate" nickname, though. Plus how he framed Randy Moss back in high school for all the issues he had. It wasn't moss, it was Whitey Chocolate holding him down. I'd mention his high school transgressions here, but for the life of me I can't remember what any of them were or why he ended up at Marshall. I think he might have punched out some dumb white hick at a bowling alley, but that might have been Allen Iverson.
9:53 - Speaking of And 1, did anybody ever watch that show on MTV from like seven or so years ago, where it was basically Top Chef but instead of cooking it was basketball? And instead of basketball it was street ball? And Magic Johnson hosted? And some white guy won? It was so, so awesome. I need to find a way to watch it again. Plus, not working from home anymore I can't get my And 1 Tour fix on ESPN2 from noon - one every afternoon. At least they're bringing back NBA Jam. I love fake basketball.
9:56 - Oh my god. Tell me Rico Tucker wouldn't be a dominant force on the And 1 Tour. I should shoot him a message on facebook and tell him. We're friends, so he wouldn't mind.
9:57 - Rashard Lewis has 12 points tonight. I think that is what he had in games 1-4 combined.
9:58 - So I just checked, and it turns out Snacks put us down for the Magic to outscore the Celtics from the 12:00 mark to the 6:00 mark of the fourth quarter, and for the 6:00 to 0:00 half-quarter as well. I didn't even know you could bet half quarters. I think one of us has a problem.
10:00 - So it seems Kendrick Perkins was ejected for getting two technicals, and now Big Baby is down with a dented forehead, so guys playing relevant minutes for the Celtics include Nate Robinson, who is a good dunker for a midget and good in an uptempo game - the opposite of what the Celtics do, Marquis Daniels, who has been a third-stringer for like 10 teams in 10 years, and Michael Finley, who actually makes the Celtics average age increase by coming in the game.
10:02 - I haven't looked this up to verify or anything, but when Garnett, Pierce, Allen, Finley, and Rasheed are one the floor together, which they haven't been all night, their combined age is 207.
10:05 - Orlando is up 13 with 7:24 left. Why is everything so boring tonight? I actually have full control over the TV, and I'm bored out of my mind. Watching Bernie Mac and that kid from that movie play one-on-one for Boomps is the most entertained I've been. I wish I had a White Men Can't Jump DVD here.
10:08 - In case you were wondering, Rasheed can still shoot. Also in case you're wondering, it would be pretty damn funny if the Celtics blew a 3-0 lead in the same year the Bruins blew a 3-0 lead. I only know that because I heard it on the radio. No, I don't watch hockey. I'm not some kind of mouth-breathing cretin.
10:12 - The lead is now 18. This is really fun.
10:16 - Marquis Daniels ended up leaving with a concussion at some point when I wasn't paying attention. That explains everything.
10:18 - Lot of effort out there on both sides. It's just a battle. You got to love this passion and drive. This is why the NBA is so much better than college, nobody is out there just going through the motions. So much love for the game.
10:25 - Just realized that Kendrick Perkins is now automatically suspended for game 6 since he got ejected in game 5. He's super, super important for the Celtics because he's basically the only one who can guard Howard. And the play he got his second tech on was pretty bad, like NBA the fix is in bad. Except I'm pretty sure the NBA wants Celtics/Lakers, so expect them to change the rules to get Perkins back in there.
10:27 - Game over. Post over. What a waste of time this all was. Although if I wasted just one other person's time reading this, then I've done my part.