Wednesday, October 31, 2012

NBA Preview Atlantic Division

I'm an NBA fan, so sue me.  Here's a quick preview of each team in the Eastern Conference - Atlantic division, complete with haikus.
Russian Billionare
Watch him spend fat stacks of cash.
They're still pretty meh.

The Nets made some moves both in their roster and to their new home in Brooklyn.  The add mega-overpaid sharpshooter Joe Johnson, malcontent Andray Blatche, Bosnian sharpshooter Mirza Teletovic and Josh Childress's afro.  I worry that neither Humphries nor Lopez can play much D and there are a lot of chuckers but Deron Williams is still really the only creator.

Starting Unit:
PG Deron Williams
SG Joe Johnson
SF Gerald "Crash" Wallace
PF Kris "My dad owns a Five Guys in Duluth" Humphries
C  Brook Lopez has them at a 46 win o/u which puts them in the bottom half of the playoff hunt.  This sounds about right to me, but since I predict stuff sometimes, I'll say under 46.

No Jeremy Lin
Hear Amare's knees creakin'
Luxury tax free!

The New York Knicks of all teams suddenly became frugal when the Rockets fed them the poison pill that was Jeremy Lin's contract, they spit it out and overpaid for Jason Kidd and Raymond Felton instead.  Melo is back and feels well, but Amar'e is hurt and Chandler isn't 100% either and it's October.  I'd like to see Novak shoot a billion 3s this year for fantasy purposes. 

Starting Unit:
PG Raymond Felton
SG Ronnie Brewer
SF Carmelo Anthony
PF Amar'e Stoudamire +
C  Tyson Chandler

I'll take the under 45.5 here.

Even the cheerleaders are old!

Rondo, Pierce, Garnett
The new big three minus Ray
Garnett has tourette's

Ray Allen left for the Miami sunshine after what appears to be a falling out with Rondo and perhaps others.  Ray always seemed like the only normal guy in the bunch, so good for him.  The Celtic's got what appears to be a steal with Jared Sullinger in the draft.  They also signed Jason Terry to replace Allen.  Terry isn't quite the sharpshooter but he's much more active and will help to push the pace. 

Starting Unit:
PG Rajon Rondo
SG Courtney Lee
SF Paul Pierce
PF Brandon Bass
C  Kevin Garnett

O/U is 50.5 wins for the Celtics, I think their depth is enough to give them over.

Iggy sent packing
So this is where Bynum went?
Is he injured yet?

The Sixers were a part of the Dwight Howard move to the Lakers and they landed Andrew Bynum in the process.  Bynum is an elite-ish center when healthy, but is almost constantly hurt.  In fact, he won't start the season as he's still recovering from a knee injury.  Iguodala's move to Denver frees up minutes for Evan Turner to finally either sink or swim.  The 2010 #2 overall pick has floundered somewhat under Doug Collins, earning only 26 minutes a game last season.  Turner isn't a big time scorer, but he's a great ball handler, distributor and rebounder. The Sixers also added chucker Nick Young, aging vet Jason Richardson and former fantasy basketball stud Dorell Wright.  Wright is the best player of the bunch and none of these guys should prevent Thaddeus Young from getting minutes; we'll see if Doug Collins realizes that.

Starting Unit:
PG Jrue Holiday
SG Jason Richardson
SF Evan Turner
PF Spencer Hawes
C  Andrew Bynum +

They'll miss the defensive presence and pace of Iguodala and after Hawes and Bynum (when alive) it's Kwame Brown and Lavoy Allen (no clue) in the front-court.  Therefore, I'll take under 45.5 wins.

Nice haircut, girl on right

Raptors are still bad
Overpaying for Landry Fields...
Probably won't help

The Raptors also cherry-picked from the Knicks to grab swing-man Landry "Strawberry" Fields.  You'd think the Knicks were good or something last year.  They paid too much and with first round pick Terrence Ross, there's now a glut at the SG/SF spot.  Terrence will towel waive for now.   Andrea Bargnani is healthy and he's alongside another foreigner up front in 20 year old Jonas Valanciunas.  JV has big upside and will get tossed in there at center because the alternative is Aaron Gray.   The Raptors also added Kyle Lowry at the point.  The Villanova product finally got to show what he could do the last couple of seasons in Houston and showed he can be a 14/4/7 guy with a solid defensive presence. 

Starting Unit:
PG Kyle Lowry
SG Landry Fields
SF DeMar DeRozan
PF Andrea Bargnani
C  Jonas Valanciunas

The Raptors come in with a 34.5 o/u.  They were 23-43 in a shortened season last year, while I think they'll be better, they are a team with a lot of parts and no real direction yet.  They'll spend most of the year figuring out who can and should play.  I'll go under.  This also makes me realize I picked under for everyone but the Celtics in this division.  Oh well.

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