Week in Review - 5/30/2011

 Another excellent Memorial Day weekend, probably the best weekend of the year.  I caught the biggest crappie, biggest northern, and biggest bass out of everybody at the cabin, and while this would usually be the point where I'd brag about how awesome I am - and I am - but pretty much everybody killed it, or at least as much as we could when it wasn't too windy.  We collectively caught a ton of crappies that all ranked among the biggest we ever caught at the cabin, and in one stretch of about 45 minutes out on the boat we caught 15 northerns.  It was totally awesome.  You're so jealous.  Anyway I'm really tired so you can expect a definite half-assed effort here.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Nick Blackburn.  Generally he's pretty overrated, but I get it - good lookin' guy, killer side burns, little bit of a "I don't care what anybody think about me" beard, unflappable on the mound, and just a cool, calm guy who can absolutely shut down a team once in a while, so I get it.  If you actually look at stats and whatnot, however, he's generally been pretty bad over his career, even finishing in the top 4 in hits allowed twice in his career.  I have to give it up to him, however, because he has somehow become the team's only reliable pitcher - the only one you know will keep you in the game this year. 

In his six games pitched in the month of May his worst outing would have been today - 6ip, 7 hits, 5 runs.  Using Game Score (I won't bore you but it's explained mid-page right here) that comes out as a 40.  Looking at every other Twins starter they've only equaled or beaten that score 19 times between five guys, and only 16 times prior to this weekend before the hapless Angels gave everybody a boost.  Blackie's average for the month was 59, a score only reached by a non-Blackburn twin 7 times.  All of which is a nerdy way of saying that an average Nick Blackburn outing is probably better than the best any other Twin can pitch right now, which is actually of really succinctly summing out just how crappy this season is going.

2.  Mike Miller.  This already feels like a million years ago but technically it happened last week, but did you see Miller against the Bulls in those final two games?  After playing sparingly in the first two playoff rounds and even in the first 3 games versus Chicago he suddenly burst back onto the scene and played 26 and 24 minutes in games 4 and 5, averaging 10 pts and 8 rebs in the two games and, no joke, was probably the biggest reason the Heat won game 4 and swung the series.  No kidding if you watched it he registered the majority of his stats in the fourth and absolutely was the difference in that game.   There's a decent change he'll matter again against Dallas, but let me tell you watching him in that fourth quarter was jarring and a reminder of how good he used to be.  At Florida, I mean, when he played a complete game, not the jump-shooting nancy boy he became in the NBA. 

3.  Bartolo Colon.  I will admit that I thought Colon was a big-fat tub of goo who was basically washed up and done and when the Yankees signed him I was like "good, suck it Yankees you queers!" but well fuck me I guess.  Colon shut out the A's today on just four hits while striking out six, and now has just a 3.26 ERA on the year.  And I don't care because the Yankees are still stupid and still suck and Bartolo is still fat and has a stupid name.  He's probably going to give up eleventeen runs his next time out, assuming he's not throwing at the Twins.  

4.  Carl Crawford.  Well it's about time, Mr. Crawford.  After signing that huge contract with the Red Sox he's been one of the biggest disappointments of the year and was sort of the symbol for Red Sox suckage to start the season, but he's starting to turn it around.  Well, he's had a few good games, I should say, including a 4-4 with 2 doubles and a homer on Wednesday and 4-5 with two triples the next day.  Then I went out of town and now I just looked up his next few games and they were 0-4, 0-3, and 0-4.  So who knows.  He's still just hitting .232/.267/.362 now for the year, which sounds bad but would be the fifth highest OPS on the Twins.  Wow.  Fifth highest on the worst team in the league.  I guess he's still really bad.  But at least he had a good week.  Has any twin had even a single 4-hit game this year?  Looking it up, yes.  Span had 4 hits April 13th and Cuddyer had four the day before.  So the Twins have gone nearly two months without a 4-hit game from a single player, and one the season have as many as Carl Crawford, the guy synonymous with disappointing player this year, had in one week.  This season is so much fun.

5.  Michael Morse.  I seriously have no idea who this guy is, but I do a lot of wagering on individual players and the Nationals have been a gold mine to bet against players not getting an rbi or not scoring a run in a game.  So every time I see Washington has scored a run I have to look up immediately how they scored to see if I lost a bet and need to punish myself.  So that's how I know that Morse hit a home run on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Monday and in that stretch he's knocked in 11 of his team's total 27 runs.  So I picked up in Fantasy.  Stay tuned to find out if I'm a genius, like I was with Charlie Morton.     


WHO SUCKED

1.  Derrick Rose.  No lie, it was kind of tough to watch Rose those last couple of games against Miami.  The good news is he clearly wanted the ball, was the leader, and was aggressive.  The bad news was he couldn't have scored with your mom after a glass of white zin.  He's still one of the best in the NBA and he'll be fine and all, but yuck.  More here if you need it.

2.  Kevin Durant.  Much the same as Rose, Durant certainly didn't do himself any favors in the final few games against the Mavericks.  In game 3 he was 0-8 from three, in game 4 he turned it over 9 times including a killer down the stretch where he just straight lost control of the ball, and overall he shot just 23% from three for the series.  I love the guy and he's obviously one of a handful of people you'd consider as your #1 choice if you were starting a franchise, but I almost wonder if he needs a littler more killer in his blood.  I'm interested to see if any kind of possible feud develops between him and Westbrook.  You can only have one alpha on a team, and it's obvious to everyone that Durant should be that alpha - obvious to everyone except Durant and Westbrook.  Pay attention.  You'll see.


3.  Washington Nationals.  It's hard to believe a team could be as bad as the Twins - because that's actually impossible so the joke's on you - but Washington is bad, bad, bad.  They're 1-8 in their last 9 and have given up five or more runs in six of those games while scoring three or less runs in five (we've already talked about that offense above).  That's a bad combination.  Also a bad combination?  Their rotation.  Jason Marquis and Livan Hernandez in the same rotation?  Possibly the two worst pitchers of the last five years?  Seriously that's like the pitching equivalent of a middle infield combination of Alexi Casilla and Matt Tolbert, as if anybody would be dumb enough to roll with those two. 


4.  Joakim Soria.  Did I, or did I not, tell you about this?  I did, because I'm a genius and so much smarter than you.  Soria's week - 2/3 inning, 3 runs allowed, blown save - 1 good ip in a meaningless 12-7 game -  2/3 ip, 2 runs allowed, blown save - 1 ip, 3 runs allowed, blown save.  He now has an ERA of almost 7 and is seven for twelve in save opps after having now blown 4 of his last 5.  Done.  And I told you so. 

5.  Car Racing.   I normally wouldn't bother to include car racing in the sucks column since it always sucks - I mean, come on man, it's just cars driving in a circle and whoever has the fastest car wins, you know it, I know it, and racing fans know it no matter what they try to say - but tonight was a special case.  I only know this because it was all over the radio when I was driving back from the cabin, but now we have special proof of how stupid it all is.  There were two big races this weekend, one in each league (called, I believe, NASCAR and NASCAR2), and in one some dude was winning until the very last turn on the last lap where, for some unknown reason, he drove straight in a wall despite having a big lead and ended up finishing second, and the other where some dude was winning almost until the end when he ran out of gas.  He ran out of gas.  He ran out of gas in car racing.  That would be like a baseball player going out into the field without his glove (I would guess Casilla almost does this twice a week) or a basketball player not wearing shoes.  So dumb.  But honestly if you like racing you probably don't own a computer so you can't read this and your Memorial Day BBQ likely consisted of squirrel or possum or whatever you ran over in your truck recently (you know, your truck with a door that's a different color than the rest of the truck and has a sticker of calvin pissing on a logo on the back window, along with an "Ass, Cash, or Grass bumper sticker.)  In conclusion, racing is stupid and so is your face.


Since I mentioned Memorial Day BBQ you're probably wondering what we had.  So I will tell you.  We simply had Kobe beef burgers on the grill (lightly seasoned with salt and pepper - you don't want to mess with these too much - and topped with provolone), corn on the cob (garlic and herb butter), and really excellent cauliflower gratin that Mrs. W made.  It was excellent, and I highly recommend going for the Kobe burgers once in a while.  They're about twice the price of regular burger patties and about 3 times more than lump burger you form yourself, but holy crap they were worth it.  Also, before any smartass posts a comment here, I will come clean and admit I screwed up cooking turkey burgers and brats on the grill this weekend, but in my defense I haven't cooked on a charcoal grill since we got our sweet gas one about 6 years ago.  Plus everything was fine once my dad figured out the bottom grate was closed.  So shut up.

Week in Review - 7/5/2010

Way too tired from the weekend at the cabin to do a true introduction here, so I'm not going to. And the fishing sucked.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1. Cliff Lee. Cliffy just keeps driving his price up. He's about as white hot as a pitcher can get, throwing 17 innings this week and giving up just four runs while striking out 13 and walking just two. That included a complete game win over the Yankees, which made Lee's third straight complete game and the fourth in a stretch of five games.  His ERA is now down to 2.34, and his strikeout-to-walk ratio is 100-8.  Yes, 100-8.  Frankly, dude is redonkulous and he's peaking right now.  It might be expensive for the Twins to get him, but if they haven't given up on the season yet (and frankly, they might want to consider that) they need to pay whatever Seattle wants, because if Detroit or the White Sox get him, it's over.  Well, more over than it already is.  

2. Carl Crawford.  He ripped up the Twins pretty good, which followed him ripping up the Red Sox pretty good, in a season where he's ripping up pretty much everybody.  And I just love this guy.  He could stand to walk a little bit more, but how can you not love a guy who's going to hit .300 for you with 15 homers, 30 doubles, ten triples, and steal 60 bases at about an 85% clip?  In baseball history, a player has stole at least 50 bases, been caught 10 times or less, and hit 10 home runs in a single season just 19 times - Crawford has done it three times (Rickey also did it three times).  And guess what kids?  He's a free agent after this season.  If they are actually committed to making Cuddy Bear into a third baseman, I say go all the way and put him there full-time next year, sign Crawford, let Thome walk, and move Kubel to full-time DH.  Seriously, Crawford is so good.  Gimme gimme gimme I need I need. 

3. Justin Rose.  Pretty good bounce back for Rose this week at the AT&T National.  Last week, Rose looked like he was going to be the runaway winner at the Travelers after stringing together three good rounds, but a disastrous 75 on Sunday dropped him to ninth.  This week, rather than let that derail what has been a good year, he went out and did it again, racing out to a big lead by Sunday, but avoided the crash and shot a final round 70 in route to a one-shot win over Ryan Moore.  That means his last three tournaments have gone win-should have won-win, and he's absolutely peaking for the British Open in two weeks, a tournament where he generally plays pretty well.  And I was just able to snag him early this week at 33-1 to win.   

4.  Matt LaPorta. You remember LaPorta, right?  He was the big centerpiece in the deal the Brewers made to acquire C.C. Sabathia from the Indians (a deal that, despite the results, should be the blueprint for the Twins to acquire Cliff Lee).  Since then he's kind of puttered around, hitting .254 in 200 ABs last year and .236 so far this year, all while showing the power of Nick Punto - not exactly what was expected of him.  But since the Indians traded Russ Branyan last week and installed him as the full-time first basemen he's shown flashes.  He started the week with a home run in three straight games, bringing his season total to four, and then closed the week with a three-hit game against Oakland.  It might not be much, but he has raised his average from .211 when he was sent down in early June to .236 now, so maybe he's figuring it out.  Or maybe it's a small sample size fluke.

5.  Miguel Olivo.  If you've been paying any attention to Matt Wieters, and I know I have, you know he sucks beyond anything since Mark Salas.  The reason I bring that up, is that Wieters sucked so bad we had to bench him in fantasy, and to replace him in the lineup Snake picked up Olivo - and it's paid off brilliantly.  After thrashing the Padres and Giants this week to the tune of .409/.435/.727, which included a 9-16 stretch, he's now hitting .307 for the year with 11 home runs and 39 RBI.  Notice anything fun about those numbers?  Yep, they're all better than what Joe Mauer is doing.  Just a brilliant move by the Royals letting this dude go and instead tossing a shitload of money at crappy old Jason Kendall instead.  There's a reason Kansas City hasn't been relevant since the early 90s.  Also Miguel Olivo is better than Joe Mauer.  Fact.



WHO SUCKED

1. South America.  Brazil and Argentina were two of the favorites to win the World Cup, and may even have been the top two teams, depending on who you asked.  And with teams like England, France, and Italy already eliminated their paths to the final looked almost preordained.  Unfortunately for them, Germany and the Netherlands had other ideas.  First, the Dutch knocked of Brazil 2-1 thanks to an own goal and an ejection, and then the Germans completely destroyed Argentina 4-0, their third game with four goals in the tournament.  They are looking awfully good right now, and I'd expect the winner of Germany/Spain on Wednesday day ends up taking this thing.  No offense to Uruguay or the Netherlands, but I'd put my money on the Germans.   

2.  Timberwolves.  I'm sorry, but they are seriously confusing the crap out of me.  I don't really know what they were doing with the draft last year, I don't know what they were doing this year, and I don't have any idea what they're doing with their cap room.  Bringing over Pekovic is fine, and it sounds like he's supposed to look pretty good, but signing Darko to a 4-year, $20 million when nobody else was going to offer him four years or $5 per year?  This contract should have been either 4 years/$8 million or 2 years/$6 million.  Such a bizarre decision.  I heard somebody on the radio describe David Kahn as the scariest GM in ball, but not because of his plan or anything, but because he seems to be doing the kind of long-term damage that can ruin a franchise.  I believe it.  I seriously have no idea what he's thinking.

3.  Matt Guerrier. Not a great week for Mr. Guerrier, who allowed at least one run in three of his four appearances this week, including that complete meltdown on Saturday.  His overall numbers are still good (ERA of 2.82, WHIP of 1.12) and he continues to be effective despite mediocre stuff, so let's hope this isn't the start of his annual "tired arm meltdown."  Despite all the times perception doesn't match reality, occasionally they sync up;  Guerriers ERAs for April-September:  3.59, 1.97, 2.75, 3.15, 4.66, 4.27.  He's heading towards a possible third straight year leading the league in appearances, so I'd say the burnout is more likely than not.  Let's hope Neshek and/or Condrey are ready when his arm gets tuckered out so they can just be plugged in.

4.  Dontrelle Willis.  Well you got to figure that's about it for Willis, barring a complete reinvention, after he was designated for assignment by the D-Backs earlier this week - which makes two teams that have given up on him this year (the D-Backs got him from the Tigers for essentially nothing).  He walked 27 batters in 22 innings for Arizona, and has basically been a walk machine since he went crazy bananas back in 2008 when he walked an astonishing 35 batters in 24 innings, which followed a 2007 where he led the league in runs allowed (as in he allowed the most runs, not the fewest).  Hard to believe this is the same guy who burst on the scene and won rookie of the year in 2003 and then put up a gem of a season in 2005 and finished runner-up in the Cy Young voting.  He's only 28, but I'm not betting on a comeback because that's now three full seasons of complete disaster.  I am now resisting putting a "D-Train/Trainwreck) joke.  I'll save those for Jesse Crain.

5.  NBA Free Agency.  I know I already mentioned the Wolves, but overall this has been pretty boring, right?  Nowitzki back to Dallas.  Pierce back to the Celtics.  Gay back to the Grizz.  Joe Johnson gets his max deal (mistake), but it's to go back and be a Hawk again.  Lame.  The only remotely interesting deal so far is Steve Blake to the Lakers, which is a nice deal for everyone involved.  It sounds like Amar'e has either already agreed or is close to agreeing to a deal with the Knicks, and the Suns have clearly moved on, signing both Channing Frye and Hakim Warrick, so maybe this will get things moving.  I'm thinking Wade and Bosh to the Bulls, LeBron to the Knicks and then they swing a deal for a point guard (Tony Parker?).  I don't know what is going to happen to the Wolves, but I'm willing to bet they overpay for David Lee despite the fact that his numbers came on a bad D'Antoni team and as such are inflated two ways, and then, since they have Lee, Love, and Jefferson they'll trade Jefferson for fifty cents.  Great.  Awesome.  Sweet.



Also way too tired for an outro.  If you don't like it you can go to hell.  I have an 8am fart-tastic meeting tomorrow, what do you want from me?