What up with the NBDL?

So I'm drunk in Lincoln, NE - again - and I'm bored. I have three Newcastles in the bathroom sink - with ice - and figured, "why not figure out what's up with the whole NBDL thing?" Now, I dont have the energy or soberness to figure out the rules and what not with the minor league thing, so instead, I'll just find some players who are in the league. Couple quick points:

1. These people are all better than Rick Rickert, who plays in the Australian YMCA league.

2. This Craig Monroe trade pisses me off. It's like, they're doing something just to do something and saying, "Hey, look at us. We're doing something." Well screw that. Craig Monroe is a chomo.

3. It's nice to be able to find Seinfeld on TV at pretty much any moment.

4. This is why having a bottle opener on your key chain makes you smart and prepared, not immature.

5. If I'm asleep by 3, I can still get 6 hours of sleep. Sweet.

6. I'm going to be a father. This scares me, and should probably scare all of you.

7. I found out I officially have a reputation in my company as a "Big Drinker." I can't decide if this is awesome, or kind of a bad thing. Since I'm drunk right now, I"m going to go with "Awesome."

On to the fake basketball league:

Albuquerque Thunderbirds: Serge Angounou (Ariz St), Kris Collins (New Mex), Darvin Ham (Tex Tech), Daniel Horton (Mich). Obviously the big news here is Kris Collins. I don't actually remember all the crap behind him, but I know he was a Gopher at one point or another, and it clearly didn't work out. I think he was too dumb or something. Darvin Ham once broke a backboard (might have been twice), and Horton was supposed to be a pretty good player at Michigan. He seemed to be pretty solid oh my god Eliza Dushku is on that seventies show and how did I not know that? That chick is so way hot.

Anaheim Arsenal: Guillermo Diaz (Miami), Anthony Harris (Miami), Steven Smith (LaSalle), Marquis Webb (Rutgers). Diaz and Harris were a pretty dynamic show at Miami. I have to think having two guards who were pretty good in college and are still together can only help. Not help getting them to the NBA, because clearly they kind of suck since they are in this league, but still. Smith was the best player at LaSalle since Lionel Simmons, and dominated the A-10 - which obviously means nothing. Webb was basically known just since Quincy Douby was so good.

Austin Toros: Justin Bowen (UIC), Ashanti Cook (G-Town), Kevin Pittsnogle (WVU). Bad team. I only included Bowen here because he went to UIC, and my buddy JC and I saw him play in an exhibition several years ago where they had a VIP booth we couldnt' get into, despite his friend who was supposedly a high roller there. Cook was terrible, and obviously Pittsnogle is a joke. When you're tall, for the love of god please try to play in the post once in a while, there are enough short people who can only shoot outside. Weird, kind of like JC in intramurals. Tall, yet too afraid to play downlow and only roam about the three point line. Rickert-like. They also have a guy from Tarleton State, new home of Limar Wilson. So there's hope for him yet.

Bakersfield Jam: Brandon Bowman (GTown). This team is boring because I'm hardly heard on any of their guys - I'm gong to assume they suck. Plus, the Jam? Really? Did you have a contest to name your team and only invite retarded fifth graders to submit nicknames? Brutal. I also actually like Bowman quite a bit, and still think he could be a good player. He's by far the best player out of this group of clowns so far.

Colorado 14ers: Julian Sensley (Hawaii), Kelly Whitney (Seton Hall). Bad. Also bad name. This is Rickert's former team, but I guess he couldn't crack this tough roster of guys who I've never heard of other than two I think I maybe kind of know who they are. I think Sensley was a guy who put up good numbers for Hawaii every year, and always kind of thought about going pro but never did. Probably shouldn't have. Not entirely sure who Whitney was, but I think he played with Holloway, and that guy was the fucking man.

Dakota Wizards: Blake Ahearn (Mizz St), Will Frisby (Miami), Armein Kirkland (Cincy), David Palmer (South Utah). Ahearn, if I remember correctly, was one of the best free throw shooters in collegiate history. Frisby had a sweet name. I saw a game once where Kirkland was awesome, but I think it was one of his only good games - ever. David Palmer was a hell of a kick returner for the Vikings - also one of 2P's favorite players ever.

Fort Wayne Mad Ants: Shagari Alleyne (Kentucky), Justin Cage (Xavier), Earl Calloway (Indiana), Roderick Wilmont (Indiana), Sammy Mejia (DePaul), Lukasz Obrzut (Kentucky). Tubby Smith's two biggest mistakes ever might be on this team, in Alleyne and Obrzut. Very tall, and very retarded, these two never really amounted to much - yet they would have been awesome at the U of MN, so keep that in mind. Two other teammates here in the Indiana guards, both pretty solid players. Mejia is the kind of player who might still make the NBA at some point. Also that nickname is so stupid it's awesome.

Idaho Stampede: Randy Livingston (LSU), Brent Petway (Michigan). Petway was crazy athletic, and is still young enough to possibly develop into a decent player. Livingston I swear has been around since the Chris Jackson era. I think he hurt his knee 17 times, and is still hanging around the fringes of the NBA, so good for him.

Iowa Energy: Jeff Horner (Iowa). Yep, Jeff Horner's all they got. That guy was always a little weiner. Like Wojo from Duke with less gay and more offense.

L.A. D-Fenders: Sean Banks (Memphis), Errick Craven (USC), Jelani McCoy (UCLA). It's cute how they don't spell out D-Fenders. Very LA of them. Banks can score, and Errick Craven is only memorable because he had a twin named Derrick, and also because I used to have a friend named Eric Cravens. I wonder what happened to him? His family was rich, and had satellite TV when it wasn't normal with the big dish and everything, and had the playboy channel when I was in eighth grade. Awesome. Anyway, McCoy was one of the best shot blockers I've ever seen. I know the Sonics gave him a chance. It's too bad he had zero offensive game, because defensively he's an absolute force. That dude should have a highlight film on youtube, but alas, it's not to be.

Rio Grande Valley Vipers: Steve Novak (Marquette), Kevin Bookout (Oklahoma), CJ Watson (Tennessee). Novak will end up in the NBA at some point. He's way too good a shooter to not. Bookout and Watson are two fo teh most overrated college players ever. Bookout was supposed to be a big deal recruit, but he's really just an average, bigger, white guy. Like Kris Humprhries but way less talented. Watson was a chucker. Like Scottie Reynolds now. Hey Scottie, Look! It's your future!

Sioux Falls Skyforce: Marcus Bailey (Wyoming), Nik Caner-Medley (Maryland), Ben Jacobson (North Iowa). Well, just the fact that Caner-Medley is playing professional basketball is a testament to human will. Jacobson seems like that type of player who will always find work playing somehwere. Not sure why I highlighted Bailey. I think I"m thinking of Mario Bailey, former U of Washington wide receiver and Bill Walsh College Football (Sega) All-Star.

Tulsa 66ers: Dwight Brewington (Liberty), Ramon Sessions (Nevada). I remember Brewington from Providence. Seemed like a pretty good player. Guess he transferred to Liberty though. Totally memorable. Sessions I can't say crap about, because I don't live on the West coast and dont' think I ever saw him play. I honestly couldn't pick Nick Fazekas out of a lineup. I could pick out Eric Chenowith though, because I once stayed in the same hotel as him and got his autograph. Not because I wanted it, but because Snacks and I were drunk and laughing about him, and my mom went up and got his autograph for both of us as a joke. True story.

Utah Flash: Andre Ingram (St. johns), Jeff Hagen (Minn), Kevin Kruger (UNLV). Kruger is like Jacobson, just the kind of player who will never have to get a real job because he'll just keep hooking on with low level basketball teams. Big story here is Jeff Hagen, obviously. As much as I would love to have more info on him, there is no link to him on their site. I'd try to look it up but it's 1:33am and that's just about enoough.

Hey Sidler, way to have Dwight Freeney get hurt. Nice job.