Saturday, November 17, 2007

F'ing Chicago

So last night Bogart, Maddog, and I got back from the bars at about 4 or 5 am, and proceeded to play Madden, with a laptop not connected to the internet between the three of us. Below is what transpired. Beware, I have not edited, or actually even read this yet, and I believe it is likely pretty boring - but whatever:

Hey, coming to you live from Bogart’s place, far to drunk to type but trying because I’ve been ordred to. Just witnessed Maddog lose 200 of Bogarts dollars playing blackjack online – on two hands, which was very stupid but very very exciting.

They are about to fire up a game of Maddden on PS3, which looks awesome. The important thing is that we drank like rock starts at the bar, where some homo in a pink shirt tried to start shit, until Maddog made him cry.

So here’s comes the game, where Maddog wanted to crank up the defensive level and wants to stand up while he plays, Madden Nation style. I guess he’s a tough guy. Should be fun.

Bogart is the Cardinals, and Maddog is the Patriots. This just makes me angry because being the Pats is really kind of gay. I mean, why take the best team. You must suck hardcore to have to be that team.

Also we went 7-4 today on college hoops. I am good, I promise.

Well, the PS3 looks awesome. Too bad these guys both suck. Bogart is trying to go with a running game, which doesn’t work because it’s Madden. And I’m seriously pretty bored with this bit already. I’m way more interested in the fact that some hot chick at the bar wanted me. It’s true. She touched me twice. In medieval times she’d be my wife already.

You know, this sucks too because I’m the only one still drinking. These guys are such girls.

Now Maddog is bitching because he can’t figure out how the game works. Jesus. I haven’t seen this much bitching since the last time I had to go to court for hitting that car than shouldn’t have been parked there.
I’m pretty sure this iss the worst blog entry ever. It’s just boring for everyone. I’m watching this and I’m bored off my ass. These guys are terrible. It’s like watching two four year olds play.

Maddog just picked up a first down, yet he had a guy wide open for the touchedown. I could totally work both these guys.

You know who’s awesome? CJ Anderson. He used to be a Manhatten guy, who were awesome, thanks to Luis Flores, who I will track down at some point. He’s now at Xavier. Pay serious attention there. He’s already making his mark, and will only get better.

Also I want to note that I have a bigger TV than fancy lawyer boy Bogart. He’s not that much better than me. Also I guess Maddog scored while I was busy. It was Maroney, who hasn’t scored in months in real life, due to that god damned Belickehck.

Now Maddog just picked off a Bogart/Leinart pass. I’m pretty sure Bogart is the guy who just picks a guy to throw to when he picks a play, and throws to him no matter what. He might be the worst Madden player I’ve ever seen.

Except Maddog just ran a run play with four seconds left in the half, from like the twenty, and didn’t’ score, of course, and the half was then over. Apparently the Maddog has Denny Green like clock management skills, except more retarded.

Big fourth and fourtenn for Bogart here. Nevermind, he kicked a field goal. Kind of a sissy move. 7-3, Maddog.

Now Bogart just picked off Maddog on a play where Maddog randomly threw to a receiver who was covered but he doesn’t look at the actually receivers and just hits a button that he already picked earlier.

TD Bogart. I care so much.


I guess he didn’t score before, but he did now. Good for him. This is terrible.

The worst part of this whole bit, is that I’ve had to listen to Coldplay the whole time. It seems these two are in love with coldplay, to a retarded level, which makes me sad and angry, in equal parts.

Maddog threw a pick, which was the least surprising thing ever, and then Bogart managed to somehow return it for a TD, which is very surprising, making the score 17-7. Also Bogart wants me to mention that he kicked out of the endzone every time, I’m totally impressed.

Maddog continues to dump it over the middle, even down ten with thirty seconds left. It’s no wonder he was also in last place in the NCAA football season we had in college, which I dominated.

Matt Leinart just had his first completion with two minutes left in the fourth quarter, yet that team won. I’m guessing the Maddog is bad at stuff. It’s probably not the computer’s fault, despite Maddog’s protestations.

Maddog says playing Madden on Ps3 is like playing that one game with the guy with sword and helmet and the thing which is impossible to control. That is the most awesome thing I’ve ever heard said by anybody ever.

Bogart just “engaged eight” Maddog’s ass. I don’t’ even know what that means. All I know is Maddog just got his ass kicked, using the Patriots against the Cards. He should probably not be allowed anywhere near a PS3 again, ever. Also, I’m totally going to steal this when I leave. Sorry buddy.

Final Score: Bogart (Cards): 32, Maddog (Pats) 7.

www vs billy

spread bill - 14

www says are these wireless crontrollers?

www is playing Julius jones over mbIII

www claims he doesn’t know how to substitute players and asks Momma Z, how’s it going at 4:45 in the am and she returns a digusted look.

Bogart aka Jacie returns an interception for a TD. Let it be known that it was not a user pick.

Romo the homo tried to throw another pick put the Packers D dropped it like they were just busted by mall security for stealing

WWW is giddy over his 4 swing passes to the full back (fucking laser).

TOUCHDOWN MBIII! Pack 7 Cowgirls 7

Fist time Billy has had the ball. I bet he will fuck it up and go 3 and out.

Favre to Bubba. Bill is now in the hurry up offense I smell an int. Brandon Jackson rambles for a 15 yard touchdown. F me I was wrong again. I suck worse at blogging then I do at Madden. For the record I don’t think I am THAT bad at video games. I pretty much rule at RBI baseball, Contra, Zelda, Final Fantasy and Frogger.

Brandon Jackson scampered for another 10 yards and his “small Tony Banks-like” hands fumbled the ball right into the waiting arms of WWWW,

WWW would like it to be know that he has never played Madden on PS3(It sounded like Whawhawhawhawha, blahblahblah)

WWW just quit like a little girl. Let it be known that its not even half time.

Bogart making his blog debut to finish the game:

Al is taking over at halftime up 14 and gets the ball back – my money’s is on that he shits the bed.

Brandon Jackson is running wild! Just kidding he sucks – I can’t believe he was even drafted in our fantasy league.

Al is getting excited because he might win. Wait – he’s now yelling at the PS3 – it was all the machine that fucked that last play up.

Brad Childress (aka Alec) just ran a 2 yard out on 3rd and 8.

He converted on 4th down – thank god this game is almost over, its like watching Corky and his girlfriend trying to eat Chinese food with chopsticks.

WWWWWW is asking me if I have another game to play – I think he wants to play Dungeons and Dragons – I hope he brought his 12 sided dice.

Al just recovered an onside kick and WWWW just quit making him the worst Madden player of all time.

Now WWWW is belly aching about how he doesn’t understand PS3 and Al continues to play the game with no one else controlling the other team in a desperate attempt to build up his shattered self esteem. Its actually kind of funny because the controller-less team is actually starting to get the best of the little guy. WWW finally picked up the controller again so Al stands a chance against the vaulted Mann-D.

Game over 28-7 – Pack Win! You are totally gay if you read this whole thing.