I Hate College Hockey And The Gophers Suck

I will break down everything you need to know about the gophers hockey team the past two weeks. They suck. Hopefully that is enough detail for you.

I swear to f’ing god if I read one more article in one of the local papers that quotes Black Wheeler, Kyle Okposo or some other stiff who doesn’t live up to the hype quoted as saying "we just need to keep working hard" I am going down to Mariucci Arena and burning the place down. The problem with this team is they don’t work hard. The next time they play three good periods of hockey this year will be the first time.

How the hell do you explain losing to Alaska F’ing Anchorage on your home ice? That’s right you can’t. Bullshit, they worked hard and just didn’t get any bounces. They gave up 4 goals to a team that wouldn’t win the Division III National Championship. I told myself I wasn’t going to rip the fat, drunk kid in goal anymore because it is just to easy, but this shit box has to graduate or drink himself to death. Jeff Frazee could be the worst starting goalie the Gophers have ever skated onto the ice and that is saying a lot. He gave up a goal vs Michigan over the weekend where he skated behind the net to play a puck, got his stick stuck in the boards which caused him fan on his clearance. Next thing you know a Michigan player picks it off his stick and puts the puck in the net. WTF!!!! That sort of thing only happens to Maddog in video games, it isn’t suppose to happen in real life. I will save my heart from the blood pressure spike and not discuss the three goals he gave up in 4+ minutes vs Alaska the previous weekend.

On a none hockey related note. WWWWWW is no longer the holder of the worst video game player of all time title. Maddog once again holds the crown. It was brought to my attention that Al was humiliated by an 11 year old in Madden 08 over the weekend. 11???? Save us the explanation champ. My source informed me that it was a complete blood bath.

Back to hockey. The Gophers play Michigan Tech this weekend at Home. Normally this would be a guaranteed sweep but I am calling a split on the weekend. Michigan Tech is actually an average team this year. They always work hard and for once have a bit of talent to go with their plucky play. Gophers win a close game 3-2 on Friday then Frazee gets another case of the Albany’s and they lose 4-2 on Saturday. If the gophers want any chance of finishing in the top half of the WCHA they need to find a way to get 4 points this weekend. One way would be to bench Frazee all weekend....just an idea.

Although the title of worst video game player changed hands this week, the title of most overrated college hockey team in the history of college hockey stayed with UND. Over the weekend UND crushed UMD on Friday and followed that up with a 4-2 loss on Saturday for another split with an average team. Both games where played in Grand Forks. Saturdays game also included a game winning goal from center ice by UMD. I would rip their goalie more, but I would just open myself to savagery because the Gophers have Frazee and even he sucks worse than the gay frenchmen UND starts in net. I actually watched Saturdays game because it found its way onto my local cable channel and even the UND broadcast team was talking about how this was the most hyped and talented team in UND history. That seals the title for me because these two guys looked like pro’s pro’s.

Next week is UND vs MN week. I would be more excited but the Gophers suck and I know I am about to drive 5 hours to watch a "slaughter". We will be able to give you two perspectives from next weekends games. Mine will come from the lower bowl and Maddog’s from way up high in the arena where he will be surrounded by the stench of poor people. Either way it should be a fun week and Maddog and I will be live from less than Grand Forks.