Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I Hate College Hockey And The Gophers Suck


I will break down everything you need to know about the gophers hockey team the past two weeks. They suck. Hopefully that is enough detail for you.


I swear to f’ing god if I read one more article in one of the local papers that quotes Black Wheeler, Kyle Okposo or some other stiff who doesn’t live up to the hype quoted as saying "we just need to keep working hard" I am going down to Mariucci Arena and burning the place down. The problem with this team is they don’t work hard. The next time they play three good periods of hockey this year will be the first time.


How the hell do you explain losing to Alaska F’ing Anchorage on your home ice? That’s right you can’t. Bullshit, they worked hard and just didn’t get any bounces. They gave up 4 goals to a team that wouldn’t win the Division III National Championship. I told myself I wasn’t going to rip the fat, drunk kid in goal anymore because it is just to easy, but this shit box has to graduate or drink himself to death. Jeff Frazee could be the worst starting goalie the Gophers have ever skated onto the ice and that is saying a lot. He gave up a goal vs Michigan over the weekend where he skated behind the net to play a puck, got his stick stuck in the boards which caused him fan on his clearance. Next thing you know a Michigan player picks it off his stick and puts the puck in the net. WTF!!!! That sort of thing only happens to Maddog in video games, it isn’t suppose to happen in real life. I will save my heart from the blood pressure spike and not discuss the three goals he gave up in 4+ minutes vs Alaska the previous weekend.


On a none hockey related note. WWWWWW is no longer the holder of the worst video game player of all time title. Maddog once again holds the crown. It was brought to my attention that Al was humiliated by an 11 year old in Madden 08 over the weekend. 11???? Save us the explanation champ. My source informed me that it was a complete blood bath.


Back to hockey. The Gophers play Michigan Tech this weekend at Home. Normally this would be a guaranteed sweep but I am calling a split on the weekend. Michigan Tech is actually an average team this year. They always work hard and for once have a bit of talent to go with their plucky play. Gophers win a close game 3-2 on Friday then Frazee gets another case of the Albany’s and they lose 4-2 on Saturday. If the gophers want any chance of finishing in the top half of the WCHA they need to find a way to get 4 points this weekend. One way would be to bench Frazee all weekend....just an idea.


Although the title of worst video game player changed hands this week, the title of most overrated college hockey team in the history of college hockey stayed with UND. Over the weekend UND crushed UMD on Friday and followed that up with a 4-2 loss on Saturday for another split with an average team. Both games where played in Grand Forks. Saturdays game also included a game winning goal from center ice by UMD. I would rip their goalie more, but I would just open myself to savagery because the Gophers have Frazee and even he sucks worse than the gay frenchmen UND starts in net. I actually watched Saturdays game because it found its way onto my local cable channel and even the UND broadcast team was talking about how this was the most hyped and talented team in UND history. That seals the title for me because these two guys looked like pro’s pro’s.


Next week is UND vs MN week. I would be more excited but the Gophers suck and I know I am about to drive 5 hours to watch a "slaughter". We will be able to give you two perspectives from next weekends games. Mine will come from the lower bowl and Maddog’s from way up high in the arena where he will be surrounded by the stench of poor people. Either way it should be a fun week and Maddog and I will be live from less than Grand Forks.


19 comments:

Maddog said...

If the 11 year old was able to beat me then he would mercy rule WWW by halftime.

Snake you didn't score one point in 3 games of Madden. You my friend are still the worst video game player of all time. You also went winless in the hockey tournament at your house in 06.

mama dogger said...

Do you think WWWW's girlfriend would have to pay the 11yr old to play him???

Anonymous said...

Hey Bogart??? Come out and play you FAG

Anonymous said...

I think Bogart only nobs on snakes poll and tries acting like he knows how to gamble. His material is all dried up.

snacks said...

WWWWWWW, if you were 60% when you and Bogart had an account together what happened? I carry your ass. I'm glad I've never gambled with him or I'd have chronic back problems by now. I feel now is the time to tell the faithful readers about our 5-4 record this Sunday, where my bets went 5-0 and yours went 0-4. You're dead weight!

Snake said...

Please....That was the first time I had played Madden since Eddie Kennison and I pulled out your heart infront of a packed house the day of Bogart's wedding. You forgot to mention that I also turned around and went a perfect 5-0 vs You and Nissan the following time. What was even more impressive is the fact that Nissan was playing with a 12th man. Just accept your title. Also, during the hockey tournament Bogart and I didn't have made up players....cheater!

WWWWWW said...

Snacks - I've carried you far more days than you have carried me. FACT.

Anonymous said...

Hey snake, it wont be long before your kid is 11 and kicking your ass too so I would shut my trap if I were you.
Where is that HOMO Bogart?

Snake said...

Maddog's kid is 11???

Maddog said...

I bet the man child will be able to beat the Snake by age 7. If he loses in Madden he will just put on his white vest and break your face with the controller.

bogart said...

1) I think Nate "dead weight" WWWW has it reveresed. I was probably hitting at about a 60% clip. Too bad I can't resist the cards and ponies or I could make a living off college hoops.

2) Its really a toss up between all of you as to who is the worst Madden player all time. I've never lost to Snake and WWW and I killed Al by 30 points with the Cards (while he was the Pats) without even completing a pass until there were two minutes left in the game. I bet that 11 year old kid just punted everytime he had the ball and just waited for Al to do something stupid on offense.

Anonymous said...

I bet snakes kid will go straight for bogart in that white vest and controller in hand. POP!! Right in the FACE.

Random guy in the JLO Vest said...

Snake-
That last comment made absolutely no sense. Just thought you should know.

Chinasky said...

Wisc. + 9 over Duke
Iowa St. +1 over N. Iowa
Santa Barbara -4 over UNLV
MN +8 over Fl. St.

Anonymous said...

hey chinasky- we dont actually talk about sports when we comment on snakes hockey blog.
FYI

Snake said...

Random Guy In The Jlo Vest- I agree, I have no idea what the hell that person was talking about. Is there a reason you wanted to specifically tell me about it? Hopefully you didn't think that was me. Only a true mongoloid would put a post like that together.

Where is the bear when we really need grammar corrections?

snacks said...

Hey chinasky, maybe WWWW was right. Look at today's games, you took Wisconsin (stupid) and we took Duke, Duke covered in a walk. you took Iowa State (also dumb) and we took UNI, who also covered easily. Hmmm.....I think we're on to a pattern here....

Also, WWWW, you can add Austin Peay +24.5 v. Memphis (win) and Sacramento State +30 v. Stanford (TBD) to our list.

chinasky said...

Hey snacks, nice of you gloat after the first winning night of your career. I had a bad night, what can I say. By the way, what kind of loser (other than WWWWW himself) logs on to this blog at 10:30 at night?

Anonymous said...

Chinasky is to college basketball gambling what Native Americans are to booze...easy money!