8:53 - Sitting here waiting for our Tivo to stop recording two shows so I can watch the game (Criminal Minds and Gossip Girl.) Criminal Minds is very good, I haven't watched Gossip Girl, ever. Also, remember those other blogs where I mixed weird alcohols or drank from flasks (you're never getting it back Snacks) or complained that I was out of booze? Well it turns out we had an almost full thing of Bailey's in the fridge the whole time. Dammit. So I did a couple of shots. I also have had 40 ounces of beer so far. You know how I know it was 40 ounces? Because I got a 40. Whatup.
8:55 - Oh yeah, I have 6, 16oz bottles of Miller Lite, and a mostly full bottle of Baileys. Only five minutes to go. Rox are down 4-1 already, heading to the bottom of the fourth.
8:56 - Pam Beasley is very attractive.
9:00 - I'm on the game now, and the first thing I see is a comparison of Troy Tulowitzki and Cal Ripken. Uh....what? Can we stop with this obsession with comparing everybody to someone great? How dumb. Tulowitzki had a nice season, .291/.359/.479 with 24 HR and 99 rbi. Very good for a shortstop, gives you an OPS+ of 108. Almost certainly has a very bright future. But not quite Ripken yet, so let's relax.
9:04 - Actually, Ripken isn't as impressive as I thought. Started out hot, as a rookie with a 115 OPS+ and then had four totally awesome years, but kind of levelled out except for '99 and '91. And where the hell did '99 come from? His OPS+ leading up to it was 92, 97, 107, 91, 102, 93, and 89, then he comes in at 143. That equates from a slightly below average shortstop offensively for seven straight years to an MVP level performance. Nevermind, I'm an idiot, that was only 332 ABs. Then he finished up with 95 and 70 OPS+. I'm less impressed with him than I used to be, but he's still clearly a first ballot hall of famer.
9:08 - Francis can't get anybody out.
9:10 - I have a feeling we're going to see LaTroy Hawkins tonight.
9:12 - Varitek double to score two more. Jesus. Take out Francis now and maybe you can try him at home in game four. I haven't seen a pitcher this bad since Snacks got drunk until 4 in the morning and then tried to pitch the next day at noon.
9:17 - Just saw a T-Wolves commercial featuring Madsen, McCants, Brewer, Jefferson, and Foye. It's like the somehow knew that Ricky Davis and Mark Blount weren't in the teams long-term plans. Freaky.
9:19 - Oh yeah, the Rockies suck. 103 pitches for Francis in 4 innings. Francis was an ace tonight the way Tapani used to be the Twins ace. But that was for like 3 years. I bet Maddog used to love that guy.
9:24 - Do you think Beckett wears #19 because he was a big Scott Erickson guy?
9:27 - So I email this guy in my keeper league because I really need a RB for this week due to byes and injuries. He is in last place, with a nightmare of a team, and has Thomas Jones and Earnest Graham. I would be interested in either because they are alive, and I let him know that I'd like one of them if he wants to trade, but want to trade draft picks. In this league, if your team is going nowhere, a second round pick for Thomas Jones is pretty standard. If you think Graham is a future star, well, you're stupid, but then he's worth more than that. He emails me back that he wants to talk about Chad Johnson. What the hell? What is that? I'm not going to trade Johnson, I don't want to trade Johnson, and you don't have anybody you could package together to get him. Thomas Jones is really not going to turn your perpetually shitty team around and make you a contender. I want to trade you a second round pick for Thomas Jones so I can start him this week, and that's it.
9:31 - Boston tries a sac bunt and instead the guy is out at second. Also, why would you sac bunt up 6-1? What's the point of that one extra run? Especially since the correlation between sac bunting and scoring is tenuous at best. I get it if you need one run for any good reason, but this sure as hell isn't the situation.
9:33 - They just informed us that after the first stolen base of the world series, america gets a free taco from taco bell. I'm officially rooting for stolen bases.
9:35 - They call a balk, and our announcers spend more time discussing tacos rather than explaining the balk. If you watch the replay, it's pretty clear he stepped too close to first base on the throw to first - which is funny, because McCarver said that he "clearly stepped towards first" which is pretty clearly not the case. Weird, I know.
9:37 - Umpire makes it clear that the balk was called because of the not stepping to first thing. McCarver concurs, ignoring the fact that he said the exact opposite earlier. Also, a double for Youkilils making it 7-1. This sucks. I want to blog for a close game. I hate the god damn Gay Sox.
9:43 - Maxim named Sarah Jessica Parker the world's Unsexiest Woman. I agree. Also, another Boston run makes it 9-1. Then the announcer decides to tell us how the Rockies only had to face an overrated Cubs team and a Diamondbacks team that "wasn't very good." Yet both those teams made the playoffs. I was going to look some stuff up to prove how stupid these announcers were, but 53-year-old Mike Lowell just doubled to make it 10-1 and I'm very angry right now.
9:46 - Seriously, the smart move would be to take Beckett out. Take him out now and you have a shot to use him two more times if the series happened to go seven.
9:54 - Ten run rule?
9:55 - Joe Buck is already beginning the Red Sox love affair. I believe he used words like passion, experience, patience, love, to describe the team. I can't wait for another week of this, really I can't.
10:00 - I'm pretty sure McCarver's whole announcing thing is to just look through the boxscore and find oddities. We've just been informed that Mike Lowell is the only Gay Sox player without an RBI tonight. He never, ever, ever, says anything interesting ever. It has to be intentional.
10:08 - Infield hit for Matsui. Thus starteth the rally.
10:10 - or not.
10:15 - I really dislike those Dane Cook commercials.
10:24 - The announcers are completely convinced the reason the game is not close tonight is because the Rockies had a long layoff. Like, they won't stop talking about it. Maybe the Red Sox were just way better tonight? I know, crazy right?
10:29 - I hate to agree with announcers, but why is Beckett still out there? It's 13-1. Yes, he's only at 81 pitches. Which means that last inning they probably could have taken him out and had hte option to use him in game four. Now there justg going to go ahead and keep pitching him.
10:30 - Beckett just struck out his ninth. They tell us the record is Bob Gibson's 16 as a way for Buck to compliment McCarver who caught Gibson in that game. I'm really bored.
10:31 - Cal Ripken, Jr., Jr. doubles. It would be kind of cool if somebody lines one off of Beckett's melon or something. Just because Francona is an idiot.
10:37 - By the way, GopherNation got an interview with Colt Iverson. It's here. Go read it.
10:40 - You know, if Boston has to win it would be awesome if Drew was MVP. I'm also wondering how the hell I'm going to be able to root for KG, knowing all the idiots in Boston are in love with him. That's a toughy.
10:52 - Hey, game 2 is tomorrow. I think I'll just skip it, since I haven't watched an entertaining baseball game in far too long.
10:58 - I knew LaTroy would be involved. And he gets to face one of the worst rookie-of-the-year winners ever. And strikes him out. Well done. He should probably be a closer somewhere. Also, I'm done. Bye.