Tuesday Talkings - 4/28/2011

Do you guys have any idea how  hard it is to come up with things to write for a Twins/Gopher basketball blog when there's nothing going on with Gopher basketball and the Twins suck worse than your life does?   Seriously, before long most of the blog entries here are going to be like, "Hey, have I told you about my bunions? Oh, you're gonna love this story! So, I line up my cold cuts on the couch next to me, but as I'm stacking them up, they keep falling into my foot bath!"


You just watch, it's going to happen.  Although, once again due to the  Twins' ineptitude, I don't think anybody is reading anyway.  Yes, it must be due to the Twins' ineptitude.


Anyway, I'm just going to sit here and type things as I think of them.  You monkeys will read anything.


-  Speaking of reading anything, have you been checking out Grantland.com, Bill Simmons new sports and pop culture site? I like it overall so far, mainly because it gives you 4-5 new articles every day to choose from.  It's certainly been a mixed bag, with great stuff like Klosterman's great piece about a JuCo basketball game in North Dakota from 1988 (I know it sounds weird, just read it) mixed in with some complete garbage like this (hatchet job on stats using basketball as an example), this (brutally bad and rambling article that states it's point and then never comes close to touching on it again), and this (weird attack on Blake Lively that doesn't belong on this site - or anywhere, really) as well as some weird homer shit from Simmons about the Bruins.  Overall though, there are 3 or so pretty entertaining pieces per day and more good than bad, so I'd recommend making it part of your daily internet routine.  Or not, whatever.  Like I care.


-  Twins are winning 3-1 right now in the fourth.  Kind of a weird feeling.


-  Maybe we should talk some Big 10 hoops, eh?  Since that's kind of the whole reason I started this blog - well, that and boredom....maybe a little egotism.  Going to be kind of an odd year since there's so much talent leaving.   Of the three all Big Ten teams only Jared Sullinger, Jordan Taylor, Trevor Mbakwe, William Buford, Draymond Green, and John Shurna are back.   Only 3 of the 6 honorable mentions are back as well (wait, Lewis Jackson was honorable mention all Big Ten?  How is this possible?  Is there some sort of degree of difficulty modifier added due to being 5-foot-6?)

One of the players I'm most intrigued with this year is Illinois freshman point guard Tracy Abrams, who ranks as the #13 point guard  and #58 overall recruit according to Rivals.  As you probably are aware of, for some reason when Chester Frazier graduated Bruce Weber decided Demetri McNuggets was going to be there point guard and never bothered to get another one.  This led to McCamey putting up good stats (although he couldn't put up a single rep on the bench press at the NBA Combine) and constantly unraveling at the end of games because, as anybody could tell, he wasn't a god damn point guard.  Now, still thanks to Weber's complete inattentiveness to the position (Tubby -> Hi) they are giving the job to Abrams because he's the only PG on the roster.  Illinois has plenty of talent back so basically their entire season hinges on if Abrams can handle the PG position.  Always good to have your season's success hanging on whether an 18-year old kid can play the most important position on the court in his first year jumping from High School to major College ball.


The other player who I think will have the biggest impact on a team's success or failure this year is Brandon Wood of Michigan State.  Wood was a lightly recruited combo guard out of high school who signed with Southern Illinois and then transferred to Valpo.  He blossomed with the Crusaders, averaging 17 points, 4.5 rebs, and 3 assists in his last two years and lighting up North Carolina for 30, Michigan State for 24, and Purdue for over 20 twice in those two years.  He's eligible immediately since he's already graduated, and with the Spartans losing Kalin Lucas (expected) and Korie Lucious (unexpected) they're thin in the back court (unlike Draymond Green).  I fully expect Wood to end up being their primary ball-handler.  If he's a disaster Michigan State's season will likely be as well, unless Green can run full-time point forward duties.


Finally, I am curious to see how Jordan Taylor does with nothing around him.   He obviously had a monster season last year but he had Jon Leuer to help take a lot of the defensive attention off of him, and even Keaton Nankivil to help.  Now they're both gone and I know Bo Ryan and the gay Badgers always find ways to win and somebody always steps up but I really don't see anyone on this roster capable of becoming a viable second scorer.  It's all going to be up to Taylor, and he's either going to average 24 pts/8 rebs/7 assists per game or he's going to end up shooting in the low 30s percentage-wise.  Maybe both.  


-  For the record I am VERY unhappy with Emma Stone's new blonde hair.  Very unhappy.  I'm super glad I broke up with her now.  She's 10 times hotter with red hair, and that might be a low number.


-  Russell freaking Martin leads the AL in voting at catcher?  Jesus it's almost all Yankees.  Something needs to be done about this process.  Maybe it should be like having a baby should be and you have to pass some kind of competency exam first.   First, Martin doesn't even have enough plate appearances to qualify for the batting title.  Second, he's hitting just .230, 8th among AL catchers with at least 100 PAs.  He ranks 6th in HRs and RBI amongst AL catchers and 5th in OPS.  I'm guessing this is simply a case of being a Yankee and having a name people recognize as having been really really good in the NL a few years ago.  Poor Alex Avila.  He's having a monster season so far (note:  I had no idea) and he'll have to catch a break to make the All-Star game.   Derek Jeter (who is actually having a worse season at the plate than Alexi Casilla) garnering more votes than Asdrubel Cabrera is actually a bigger travesty, but writing about Jeter being overrated is like telling jokes about airplane food at this point.


-  You can go ahead and put me squarely in the camp of "Josh Selby won't get it figured out."  Guy's got AND 1 All-Star written all over him.  Skip to My Lou 2 - The Reversoning.


-  Cliff Lee shut out the Red Sox tonight and allowed just two hits, which wouldn't really be all that surprising since it is Cliff Lee after all, but I was doing some digging into this game for gambling purposes (I ended up not wagering on the game) and it's actually amazing considering how the current Sox have done in their careers against Lee.  Marco Scutaro has hit .302 against him, Pedroia has hit .364, Darnell McDonald .400, and Adrian Gonzalez an incredible .700.  Kevin Youkilis hasn't hit him that well, but he's drawn 4 walks to 2 strikeouts and has a .400 OBP against Lee.  He's dominated Ellsbury and Varitek, but really based on history the Sox should have had some success against Lee.  Which once again proves that nothing makes any sense ever. 


-  You know, Daenarys Targaryen is a dead-ringer for Claire from Lost.  Check it:

 

I speak truth.


Like always.

Week in Review - 05.09.2011

I was all set to write up something about Ralph Sampson staying in the draft, Tubby Smith sabotaging Gopher basketball, and idiotic decisions, but I've now see some tweets that indicate he may have pulled out at the last minute (unlike his dad) so I'll save that speculation for later in the week when something more concrete comes out.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Justin Verlander.  Remember when I picked Verlander to win the AL Cy Young?  I'm pretty sure that his no-hitter on Saturday proves that I was right.  Now, I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking he only struck out four guys and I just recently downplayed Liriano's no-hitter for a lack of domination so how can I praise this one?  Well first off Francisco Liriano fucking sucks while Verlander is a god of pitching.  Second, Verlander only walked one dude and threw about 70% of his pitches for strikes while Liriano treated the strike zone as if it was .  Thirdly, did you watch the game?  Justy Just completely dominated fools.  The Blue Jays only hit two balls remotely well and really after about two batters you knew Verlander had a shot at doing it.  Just so good.  So dominating.  I swear every time I watch him pitch he makes me hate the Twins and every time Leyland let's him pitch his 125th pitch of the game I hate Gardy.  I hate everything.

2.  Vancouver Grizzlies.  Gotta admit out of all the surprising things in the sporting world, including VCU  making the final four and Alexi Casilla once getting a hit, Vancouver's playoff run thus far is way up there.  Of course a big part of that shock is because I had no idea Vancouver was in the playoffs until like Game Three of the first round, but they're gettin' it done now.  Knocking off the #1 seeded Spurs was surprising, but not as surprising as the semi-dominant fashion in which they did it (and my favorite part was watching Zach Randolph kick the crap out of that old man whiny bitch Tim Duncan.  Honestly the guy would send back soup at a deli)  Now they're up 2-1 on Oklahoma City after stealing game 3 with a furious second half comeback and surprisingly dominant performance in overtime.  With the Lakers getting bounced and the Grizz up, it's suddenly not ridiculous to think Memphis might end up making the finals.  Read that again.  Now set your own face on fire because Memphis is a title contender while the T-Wolves should just be contracted.

3.  Cliff Lee.  Clifford is always fun to watch pitch, but you never know which version you're going to get.  There's the don't-walk anybody, let the batter hit your pitch right where you want it version, and then there's the don't walk anybody, strike everybody out version.  Both are dominant in different ways, and both are fun to watch.  However, more accurately the version where he just strikes everybody the hell out is way more fun and that's the version that showed up this weekend to throw against the Braves and strike out 16 guys.  Of course the bad news is that he gave up 9 hits and 3 runs and they lost which may make some people wonder why I'd give him credit for being awesome.  Those people should just shut their big fat faces.

4.  Dirk Nowitzki.  God I love watching this guy.  He's too slow to be devastating, but he can shoot the lights out, he's six foot thirteen, and he knows how to use his body to create open shots.  I don't know if I love that slow motion spin and fade better or if I prefer the weird, awkward step back fadeaway that looks more like something that a dude who had never played basketball before would do, but it's impossible to stop and I'm pretty sure he shoots like 90% with that one.  He's just unstoppable and sweet.  And the best part is, as Bill Simmons laid out in a recent column, once he gets to the point where he can't carry a team anymore he's going to have a role as a more deadly version of Sam Perkins.  Probably with the same amount of pot though.  

5.  Andre Ethier.  Yes his 30-game hit streak came to an end over the weekend but it should still be recognized because a 30-game hit streak is really pretty remarkable.  More importantly have you seen this guy?  You look at his adonis like looks and his hair, realize he's a multi-millionaire who plays baseball and lives in Los Angeles, and I'm assuming he's basically beating gorgeous girls off with a stick.  His list of conquests must be epic.  Of course, it's tough to beat Derek Jeter who has gone out with Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Adriana Lima, Jordana Brewster, and Minka Kelly.  Then again, while I assume Ethier is a tender and considerate lover you know Jeter is just using these chicks - using them to cover up that he's a raging homosexual, I mean.


WHO SUCKED

1.  Los Angeles Lakers.  Wow, talk about a gutless performance.  Not only did the defending two-time champs - and defending two-time champs with nearly the same entire squad back - get bounced in round 2 but they got swept.  And not only did the get swept but they got ugly swept, losing the first two games at home and then getting run by 30 in the deciding game four.  No other word for it but pathetic.  The Lakers might be the most talented team, especially in the West, but it was clear they weren't 100% engaged in round 1 and they couldn't just flip the switch when they suddenly ran into a better than we thought Dallas team.  And that, in a nutshell, is the biggest reason Kobe will never be the next Michael Jordan.  Other than a very good game 1 (36 pts) Kobe basically was completely disinterested and finished the series with averages well below his season averages for the series in literally every category.  What a douchebag.  By the way, a rapist, a homophobe, and a black guy walk into a bar.  Everybody there was like, "Hey Kobe."

2.  Kentucky Derby.  Not so much for the race, because watching Animal Kingdom shoot from the middle to the front for the win was actually pretty exciting, but it was just kind of meh.  There was no great horse in this field and no great stories so there was no good lead-ups, so much so that most of the Kentucky Derby rubes I know said this was the least interesting derby in years.  Even the whole Calvin Borel, winner of three of the last four derbys, angle was lame because he ended up sitting on a horse that everybody knew was a shitbox.  Didn't help that I didn't win money (although I know Bogart was on Animal Kingdom so congrats there).  I hit a bunch of the mid-range horses and with Mrs. W's pick (Stay Thirsty) and Wonderbaby's first ever pick (Soldat) I basically had everybody covered as long as a long shot (other than Santiva) or the favorite didn't win.  Then this freaking dirtbag horse who has never even raced on dirt before and whose regular rider was out with an injury (yep, an injury to a jockey.  WTF has never seemed more appropriate) goes out and wins.  Least satisfying Derby ever.  And Animal Kingdom has no shot at even contending for the triple crown.  None.  Lame.  Gay.  Stupid.

3.  Brandon Lyon.  Can anyone explain to me why this dingleberry keeps getting closing jobs?  He's fucking terrible, which he proved once again this week by trying to close a game against the Reds, a game in which he dudes he faced went walk-single-single-single-double and suddenly a 2-0 lead was a 3-2 loss - a game that would have been rookie Aneury Rodriguez's first career W.  Although I don't know why anybody would be surprised since Lyon has sucked every year.  He sucked with the Diamonbacks, sucked with the Tigers after they gave him a nice 1-year deal and then said thanks but no thanks, and has sucked with Houston the last two years (after their inexplicable 3-year/$15 mil contract) and leads the league in blown saves this year.  Not since Ambirorix Burgos has a worse player been given the ball to close games.  Except maybe Matt Capps.

4.  Carl Pavano.  Hey, do you guys remember when there was all that talk about signing Pavano long-term, and everybody was like damn dude, you gotta be careful with this one because his margin for error is razor thin and at his advancing age things could fall apart in a big ole hurry?  Well I'm not saying he's done done, but there are some ominous signs.  And I'm not even talking about the really obvious stuff like getting slapped all over the yard in consecutive games by the Royals and Red Sox (2 games combined:  10 innings, 22 hits, 13 runs).  No, the scary part here is in those two outings Pavano tallied as many strikeouts as hits Joe Mauer's had since April 12th - a big fat zero.  Now, Pavano's never been a big time K pitcher but he's generally been around 5-7 per 9 ips.  Last year he set a career low at 4.8, and this year he's been even lower at 4.1 (before today's game).  That' a terrible sign.  Am I saying he's going to be terrible the rest of this year and probably end up waived before we even get to year 2 of his contract?  Yes.  Yes I am.

5.  Justin Morneau.  Sigh.  No doubt you are aware he's been bad this year, but do you know just how bad he was this week?  He hit .105 (2-19 and obviously no extra base hits).  Guess how many of his teammates had a worse average for the week?  Nobody.  At all.  Butera hit .143.  Casilla hit .125.  Repko, Tolbert, and Revere all beat him.  Unfortunately he's cooling off (if that was even possible) right as Cuddy, Span, and Valencia are starting to remember how to hit and the team just added the shortstop of the future in Trevor Plouffe, who probably deserves a spot in the WHO WAS AWESOME section but I forgot about him until just now.  This team can't win without Morneau's bat.  I mean, they can't really win with it either, but at least with him going they have a chance, however small.  Maybe somebody needs to just smack him in the head with a tire iron and joggle everything back the way it was before.  I'll volunteer.


In conclusion the Lakers suck are a punch of punks led by King Punk Kobe.  Although I have to give him credit for not being the biggest little bitch on the team in this series.  That honor would to to Andrew Bynum who pulled this move at the end of the shellacking the Mavs put on them to cap off the sweep:


I'm not even sure what my favorite part is, but I can narrow it to five parts:

1.  Steve Blake not really trying to get through a screen while guarding Barea.
2.  Ron Artest making zero effort to help out on said screen or when Barea starts to drive.
3.  Shannon Brown's "help defense" which consisted of a half-assed swipe at the ball.
4.  The biggest guy on the court (Bynum) completely destroying the littlest one while he's defenseless (but in Bynum's defense he was the only one who played any kind of defense on that play).
5.  And, of course Bynum taking off his jersey for some reason.

Basically just class personified right there.  In summation, fuck you Lakers!  I couldn't be happier.

California Love

Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west, a state that's untouchable like Elliot Ness
The track hits your eardrum like a slug to your chest, pack a vest for your jimmy in the city of sex.

By the way, that means I'm in Los Angeles for work.  Which also means I couldn't attend nor watch the Gopher game last night, but it looks like the Gophers went with their standard operating procedure of sucking for the majority of the game and falling behind to a far inferior opponent, and then turning it on in the second half to cruise to a win that looks a lot easier than it really was.  That's all well and good, but if they are still doing that crap once the Big Ten season gets underway it's going to get ugly in a hurry.  Maybe Nolen can fix all that, maybe not.  We're going to find out.

-  No real exciting meals to report.  Well, actually I had one of the best burgers in the history of burgerdom last night at a place in Hollywood called Lucky Devils.  Kobe Beef burger (medium) with lettuce, onions, and some kind of home made secret sauce.  Outstanding.  And the rosemary garlic fries were out of this world.  Although I think Elk, who I am out here with, made the best call of the night (besides the restaurant) going with the Diablo burger, which was a spicy version of what I had.  I had a chance to try their hot sauce and it was really, really good.  I should have ordered that.

Later in the evening we hit up an establishment called the Pig and Whistle for a couple after-dinner drinks and ended up having one with a Michael Jackson impersonator - unless it was really him and the whole "death" thing was a sham.  Stranger things have happened.  Or not really, I guess.  That would be pretty strange.  In any case it was a bit of an unusual occurrence.  But now I'm in the room with nothing but a few Coors Light silos to keep me company, so let's see what things are going on.

-  Jesse Crain to the White Sox, huh?  And Guerrier to the Dodgers, but that doesn't interest me nearly as much since Crain is going to the most hated rival in the world.  They pretty clearly overpaid, but Crain showed just enough in the second half of last year when he started using that slider all the time where I'm pretty nervous to be facing him in the division.  Will he give up tap measure home runs?  Of course.  But the first time they bring him in to face the Twins in the 8th and he shuts them down 1-2-3 I'm going to die a little inside.

-  And speaking of free agents, this Cliff Lee to the Phillies thing is really unfair.  I know the Giants won the series this year with a combination of insane pitching and Buster Posey and that's it, but the Phillies actually have an offense.  Howard is going to hit 40 bombs, Victorino has developed into one hell of a hitter, and Utley and Rollins are great hitters for their positions, even if they were a bit off last year.  I know Werth is gone, but it doesn't really matter who plays left or center or third or whoever the hell their catcher is.   And their only going to have score 2-3 runs a game to win most of the time, and they won't even need a bullpen because Halladay and Lee are just going to pitch complete games every time out anyway.  Halladay, Lee, and Oswalt are all in the top 14 in active complete game leaders, and that includes ancients like Tim Wakefield and Jamie Moyer.  Actually, Halladay is 33, and amongst pitchers 33 or younger they rank 1, 5, and 6.  Ridiculous and basically just unfair.  The over/under for their season wins is going to be like 110.

-  Oh, and if the Twins trade for Joe freaking Blanton and his Nick Blackburn-like career 1.34 WHIP I'm going to drive down there and maim somebody.  Why make a trade for a fifth starter when he's worse than whoever you call up from triple A?  Come on geniuses, don't be stupid.

-  Of course, this is not my first time in Los Angeles for work.  Prior to this I was introduced to the weirdness of everybody in the city trying to get a movie produced, and before that I was lucky enough to become good friends with Larry David and learned a little about women.  L.A. is weird, but I always have a good time.  Plus, I was in a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that time with my good friend Larry.  You can actually see my bald spot in the scene.  I'm famous.

-  Interesting week in college hoops so far.  Three teams who I don't think anybody was super sure what to make of (Louisville, Tennessee, and UNLV) all went on big runs early, picked up huge wins (Louisville over UNLV, Tennessee over Pitt, and UNLV over Wisconsin and Va Tech), got themselves highly ranked (Tenn #7, UNLV #20 , L'Ville #20) and then all crashed and burned this week.  Louisville got beat at home by Drexel, Tennessee got beat at home by Oakland, and UNLV by Santa Barbara.  But no real worries, because they're all still better than Gonzaga who is an absolute nightmare right now.  They're going to end up scrambling to even sniff an at-large bid.

-  In case you're wondering what's going with the world's worst shooting guard, Scottie Reynolds was picked 13th in the first round of the NBDL draft by Tulsa, who then immediately shipped him off in a trade to get of his stink.  Since play began he ranks 19th in scoring (behind guys like Pat Ewing Jr. and Roderick Wilmont), and 19th in assists (behind guys like Curtis Stinson and Luke Jackson).  Nicely done.

-  Speaking of the NBDL draft, other picks of interest:
First Round:  Alan Anderson (Mich State like 100 years ago), Robert Vaden (UAB), Magnum Rolle (LA Tech - love this guy).
Third Round:  Lawrence Westbrook (averaging 7 pts, 2 rebs, 2 asts per game with Maine)
Fourth Round:  Derek Raivio (Gonzaga, the living clone of the Professor)
Fifth Round:  Daniel Horton (Michigan, this guy sucked)

And that's it.  Every year I think there's going to be a bunch of funny in this draft, and every year it turns out I've only heard of a handful of guys.  And I know way too much about college ball to not know who this many guys are.  So where are these guys coming from?  Some secret basketball concentration camp?  This is bullshit.

-  John Shurna tonight:  28 pts, 4 rebs, 2 assists, 3 steals, 3 blocks, 1 turnover.  That's 64 fantasy points, baby.  And guess whose got 'em?

-  Shelden Williams is still in the NBA?  What the hell?  The guy's offensive game rivals Miles Tarver and his defensive game is what I imagine Blake Hoffarber would look like if he was taller and blacker. 

-  You ever just sit around wondering who the top scoring Big Ten college basketball players would be in a Bi g Ten fantasy league (pt = 1pt, reb = 2 pt, assist = 3 pt, block or steal = 4 pt, turnover = -2 pts)?  Well wonder no more.  The top ten in our league:
1.  Jon Leuer, Wisconsin
2.  Darius Morris, Michigan
3.  Trevor Mbakwe, Minnesota
4.  Jordan Taylor, Wisconsin
5.  Blake Hoffarber, Minnesota
6.  Draymond Green, Michigan State
7.  Jared Sullinger, Ohio State
8.  JaJuan Johnson, Purdue
9.  Demetri McCamey, Illinois
10.  E'Twaun Moore, Purdue

It's worth noting I have none of those people, and also - not coincidentally - I'm the only team that's 0-2 thus far.  Also props to Snacks, Bogart, Snake, Dawger, Elk, Grandslam, and Optimator.  I sent an email one random morning asking if anybody wanted to do fantasy Big 10 hoops, and by that afternoon we were in round 3 of the draft.  Nice work, gentleman.

-  By the way, yes, that's Blake Hoffarber at #5.  He's having a hell of a year.  14.8 points per game (13th in the B10), 4.9 assists (3rd.  THIRD!!), 3.5 rebounds (39th), and 1.7 steals (5th, and wow) all while shooting 40% from three (leading the conference in both makes and attempts) and turning it over just 1.6 times per game despite being the defacto main ball handler.  Actually, he's been efficient enough on offense to rank #63 in kenpom.com's offensive efficiency ranking, which may not sound that great but keep in mind there are 340-some teams and this ranking includes all those dudes from smaller conferences who dominate.  In terms of Big Ten players, he ranks behind just Jon Diebler, John Shurna, Jordan Hulls of Indiana, and Jordan Taylor.  Combine fantasy points, which shows he's putting up numbers, and efficiency rating, which shows he's, well, efficient, and you could make a case for him to be behind just Taylor as the most valuable player in the Big Ten this year.  I can't believe I just typed that sentence.  I'm now going to pull my fingers off with bolt cutters.  Which I just happen to have here in the hotel room.

Week in Review - 7/12/2010

Crap.  Really, really wanted the Twins to get Cliff Lee, but you can't fault them.  The Rangers have one of, if not the, best and deepest minor league systems and they weren't afraid to open up the wallet, so to speak, to get Cliff Lee.

Justin Smoak has a chance to be a future star (although this is a pretty fantastic post from Baseball Time in Arlington explaining why he won't be), Blake Beavan doesn't make any top 100 lists put is a former first round pick who is putting up excellent minor league numbers, and the two "throw-ins" look alright as well.  Josh Lueke looks like a decent relief prospect with a 2.11 ERA in 32 appearances this year between A and AA (and a rape charge on his record to boot), and Matthew Lawson is putting up solid numbers as a second basemen at AA.


This was an offer that I don't think the Twins could have matched, even if they had tried.  And so it's time to look towards plan B, assuming they aren't giving up on the season although they probably should.  There are other options (Dan Haren, Roy Oswalt, Ben Sheets, Ted Lilly, etc.) which I plan to break down later this week.  Maybe.  No promises.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  John Danks.  On top of the Twins losing out on Cliff Lee, I'm getting a very, very bad feeling about the White Sox, capped off by Danksy tossing a ridiculous two-hitter against the Angels, which was extremely fortunate because Ervin Santana threw a three hitter at the same time but happened to give up a run.  And they just keep winning like that - they're pitching is completely ridiculous.  Hell, Gavin Floyd was another name considered for the Awesome column thanks to his 15 innings pitched and 2 runs allowed this week.  Their pitching is out of this world good right now, and pitching wins championships as everybody knows.  Even with Peavy now down for the year they're going to fine because the clown they called up to take his place looked just fine and dandy on Sunday.  Do you want to know the last time the Sox gave up five runs or more since June 9th (the beginning of their incredible run)  Five.  The Twins in that same time frame?  19.  I'm calling it now, Sox win the division, Twins finish fourth.

2.  Adam Dunn.  Speaking of the White Sox freaking me out with their looking goodness, I am convinced they are going to end up with Adam Dunn.  The same Adam Dunn who is currently destroying pitchers' arms (and souls).  Well, maybe not consistently doing it, but when he is on he just crushes souls.  Such as on Wednesday when he went 3-4 with three home runs, driving in 5 of the team's 7 runs in a one-run victory of San Diego, or on Friday when he went 3-4 with two home runs and 3 RBI.  Of course, he went 1-9 with seven strikeouts in the three other games this week, but who cares?  The Twins are stuck with guys like Cuddyer who will go 1-9 with seven strikeouts in three games and not even bother giving you a single multi-home run game, let alone two.  I love watching this Big Donkey hit, but I'm going to hate watching him tee off on Baker, Blackburn, and Slowey when he's on the Sox.  Seriously, can you even imagine?

3.  Buster Posey.  If we're talking guys who are tearing the cover off the ball, this guy is absolutely on fire, only it's some kind of fire never been seen before.  He had a hit in every game this week, and games where he went 4-4 with 2 homers and 6 RBI, 4-5 with a double and a home run, 2-4 with a HR (twice), and 1-3 with a triple and 2 RBI.  For the week he hit .566 with those 5 home runs and 14 RBI, and is now at .350/.389/.569 with 7 home runs in just 137 at-bats, and has pretty much single-handedly taken the Giants from a team with good pitching to a team with good pitching and one good hitter (ok, fine, three).  I'm still expecting them to fade as the season continues on, but Posey is fun as hell to watch, either way.  Just think how bad it would suck to have him on your fantasy team and sitting on the bench, like a guy I know. 

4.  Travis Wood.  Because the Reds don't already have enough good, young arms, Wood went out and in his third ever professional start threw 8 perfect innings against the Phillies.  He gave up a double in the ninth to break it up, but ending up getting threw 9 with just 1 hit allowed vs. 8 strikeouts.  Of course, Roy Halladay matched him with 9 shutout innings so he didn't get the win, but even so, quite the nice outing.  So now they have Wood, rookie-of-the-year candidate Mike Leake, coming-into-his-own Johnny Cueto, cuban sensation Aroldis Chapman, impressive in his debut Matt Maloney, stud if he can return from injury Edinson Volquez, and killer stuff if he can figure out how to stay healthy Homer Bailey.  And I would trade any single Twins' pitcher for any one of them.

5.  Steve Stricker.  Yes, I know it was the John Deere Classic and I know nobody cares about that, and I know Stricker was the best player in this week's field by far, but the way he demolished that course was pretty incredible.  Every hole was the same:  middle of the fairway - approach to within 10 feet - make putt, on his way to a 60-66-62-70, which probably would have been even more impressive if he hadn't had a six shot lead into Sunday and gone into coast mode, resulting in tournament total of 26 under par and a 2-shot victory over Paul Goydos, who also played incredibly over the weekend, four shots clear of third place Jeff Maggert, but was just out-incredibled by Stricker.  Normally I'd say play like that would make him a favorite for the next major, but this time the next major is the British Open and all the normal rules of good golf go right out the window.  I do know who is going to win, by the way.  Well, I have it narrowed to two.  Stay tuned.


WHO SUCKED

1.  Twins.  Forget Cliff Lee, maybe it's time to just become sellers?  Pavano could probably bring back a prospect or two from the other teams that missed out on Cliff Lee.  I'm sure somebody would be willing to take on a year and a half of Cuddyer's contract for a stretch run here.  If they don't think J.J. Hardy is the long-term answer he'd probably be tradeable, along with O-Hud.  Jesse Crain might have a little bit of value.  Jim Thome could help somebody out.  There a ton of options, which they should consider because it's obvious this team completely sucks.  There are only three guys on this team who can hit, and one has a headache, one is apparently so immobile he couldn't even fill in at first base for one game, and the other one couldn't run a 20-yard dash in under 5 seconds, let alone a 40.  None of the starters can pitch, the two most important relievers have below average stuff, and the manager is a moron.  God I hate this team so much. 

2.  LA Clippers.  A lot of teams have been clearing cap room with an eye on this offseason for several years, and with the top 3 prizes all picking the Heat, naturally some teams are going to end up disappointed.  The Bulls made a ton of moves with the sole purpose of clearing space, but at least grabbed Carlos Boozer.  The Knicks were obviously hoping for LeBron, but getting Amar'e Stoudamire softens that blow.  The Hawks were maybe the biggest winner, managing to get Joe Johnson to stay with them (Pierce and Nowitzki were never leaving.)  The Nets whiffed big-time, but have responded by signing quality pieces Anthony Morrow, Johan Petro, and Travis Outlaw and still have $19 million left and are looking like a front-runner for Udonis Haslem - not to mention they picked up Derrick Favors already this offseason.  The Clip show, on the other hand, drafted auto-bust Al-Farouq Aminu and then threw $20 million at Randy freakin' Foye and Ryan Gomes.  And then they signed Brian Cook, too, which I'm sure is what will put them over the top.  Look out Lakers. 

3.  Kevin Millwood.  All Millwood had to do was pitch halfway decent this year, wait for the trade deadline to come around, and get traded to a contender of his choosing thanks to his being a free agent next year and a limited no-trade clause in his contract.  Instead, he's completely sucked, racking up an ERA of 5.77 while losing nearly every game he's pitched.  So then he trots out there on Monday against the Tigers, gets destroyed in his one inning of work for four hits and five runs, gets yanked, and then got placed on the disabled list with a "strained forearm."  Yeah, I'm sure that's it.  It has nothing at all to do with the fact that he hasn't pitched a good game since May.  You know what Millwood is perfect for now?  He'd be perfect as the kind of guy the Twins will trade for.

4.  Brandon League.  The only reason I've even heard of this guy is because I heard on the radio that if the Twins had actually offered both Ramos, Hicks, and one of the starters for Cliff Lee, they might ask for League back to help in the bullpen as well.  Ha ha.  Or maybe the real secret was the Mariners wanted to get of League, because this week he gave up as many runs as outs he recorded (5 to 5), including a game against the Royals on Wednesday where he came in with a 3-2 lead in the 8th, walked David DeJesus and Billy Butler, and then gave up a three-run homer to Alberto Callaspo, and then was yanked.  Actually, come to think of it, he'd pretty much fit in perfectly as a Twin.  

5.  John Wall.  I got most of the first quarter of the Wizards' first summer league game against the Warriors, and I saw Wall turn it over four times (he finished the game with 8), including an easy pass to a wide open dude in the corner which he turned unnecessarily into a no-look pass before whipping into the corner with Nuke LaLoosh-like accuracy.  I also saw him take an open 18-footer from straight on which hit all backboard, and a three-pointer which barely grazed front rim.  Not to mention getting called for a foul on the perimeter trying to check noted offensive star Brian Chase (note:  I have no idea who this is).  It's now clear to me that we are heading for a bust of epic proportions here, the likes of which we haven't seen since Ryan Leaf or Dennis Hopson.  I'm talking like, the kind of bust that Stephen Curry would have been if he had been drafted by a team other than Golden State.    


This was an odd week, with lots of worthy people I couldn't find room for in the Awesome section.  So honorable mentions to:

Spain, Cole Hamels, Roy Halladay, Matt Garza, Michael Beasley/David Kahn, Joey Votto, Roy Halladay, Chris Tillman, Devin Ebanks, Derrick Caracter, Diego Forlan, Huston Street, Bronson Arroyo, Johan Santana, Nick Markakis, Magnum Rolle, Madison Bumgarner, Max Scherzer, A-Rod, Lance Stephenson, Roy Oswalt, Stephen Strasburg, and, of course

BIEBER FEVER!

A Little Cliff Lee Talk

With the Cliff Lee rumors gaining traction, including one about an incredibly strong offer from the Twins camp (Ramos and Aaron Hicks - whoa) that I'm not sure I believe, especially because the Mariners would have/should have accepted that in a heartbeat, I took some time to take a little look at Cliffy and how he'd fit into the Twins rotation.  The answer = well.

His stats are incredibly easy to look up, so I'm not going to get into that too much, but one thing I was curious about is how he would look on a start-to-start basis compared to what the Twins have now.  For that, I turn to a Bill James' creation called "Game Score."  It's a pretty simple and of course slightly flawed way to measure a pitcher's effectiveness in any given start, but it's good enough for our purposes.  The formula is:

1.  Start with a score of 50.
2.  Add 1 point for every out recorded before the fifth, with 2 points added for every out recorded from the fifth inning on.
3.  Add 1 point per strikeout.
4.  Subtract 1 point per walk allowed.
5.  Subtract 2 points per hit allowed
6.  Subtract 4 points for every earned run allowed.
7.  Subtract 2 points for every unearned run allowed.

And that's it.  Pretty simple, yes, and kind of feels like something we would have cooked up in the basement while playing Dusty Diamond's All-Star Softball, but good enough.

The best game score of the year was Roy Halladay's perfect game with a 98.  The worst score of the year was Edwin Jackson's -5 in a game in which he pitched 2.1 innings and allowed 11 hits and 10 runs.  Interestingly, Jackson also has a seven this year, which makes him one of only four pitchers to have two games scoring less than a 10 (shockingly, Blackburn isn't one of them).  He also has three games above an 80, which is the same amount as Halladay and one more than Ubaldo.  He must be maddening to watch.

Anyway, I looked at the Twins' starters' scores each week, compared Cliff Lee's score for that week, and checked where he would slot in.  Below are the starters game scores for each start, with the columns representing the weeks of the season.  Lee's game scores are slotted in and highlighted in yellow.

As you can see, in the 10 weeks since he came off the DL, he would have had the best start by any Twin pitcher that week in 3 of the weeks, with the second best start in another three, with two of those second place finishes only being displaced because of incredible outings by Pavano (complete game shutout) and Baker (7 innings, 2 hits, 12 ks).

Ten of his twelve starts qualify as quality starts according to this metric (game score = 50 or greater), compared to the overall Twins' % of just 56%.  He has seven games this year which have scored at least 70.  The Twins as a team have had twelve.  His average game score, including the one clunker, is a 65.  That would be the 18th best start of the year by a Minnesota starter, and essentially equivalent to Nick Blackburn's best game.

I'm going to say that again.  Cliff Lee's average outing is essentially equal to the best that Nick Blackburn has offered this year.  I know it's skewed a bit since Blacky isn't a strikeout pitcher, but even so that is a bit staggering.

If nothing else, acquiring Lee and his 65 average allows Blackburn (and his average of 40) to be removed from the rotation.  So every five days instead of something like 6 innings/10 hits/4 runs/1 walk/ 4 ks, you'd be getting something like 7 innings/6 hits/1 run/2 walks/7 ks.

Sign me up.  I don't really love giving up both Ramos and Hicks, but I say do whatever it takes.

And try to get them to take Blackburn.

Lastly, I feel as if I haven't been giving you all enough Wonderbaby^TM lately, and with Wonderbaby 2.0^TM arriving in approximately six weeks, I should jam the original in here as much as possible. So here's the little darlin' getting her fish on this weekend. She only caught one fewer fish than Daddy.

Week in Review - 7/5/2010

Way too tired from the weekend at the cabin to do a true introduction here, so I'm not going to. And the fishing sucked.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1. Cliff Lee. Cliffy just keeps driving his price up. He's about as white hot as a pitcher can get, throwing 17 innings this week and giving up just four runs while striking out 13 and walking just two. That included a complete game win over the Yankees, which made Lee's third straight complete game and the fourth in a stretch of five games.  His ERA is now down to 2.34, and his strikeout-to-walk ratio is 100-8.  Yes, 100-8.  Frankly, dude is redonkulous and he's peaking right now.  It might be expensive for the Twins to get him, but if they haven't given up on the season yet (and frankly, they might want to consider that) they need to pay whatever Seattle wants, because if Detroit or the White Sox get him, it's over.  Well, more over than it already is.  

2. Carl Crawford.  He ripped up the Twins pretty good, which followed him ripping up the Red Sox pretty good, in a season where he's ripping up pretty much everybody.  And I just love this guy.  He could stand to walk a little bit more, but how can you not love a guy who's going to hit .300 for you with 15 homers, 30 doubles, ten triples, and steal 60 bases at about an 85% clip?  In baseball history, a player has stole at least 50 bases, been caught 10 times or less, and hit 10 home runs in a single season just 19 times - Crawford has done it three times (Rickey also did it three times).  And guess what kids?  He's a free agent after this season.  If they are actually committed to making Cuddy Bear into a third baseman, I say go all the way and put him there full-time next year, sign Crawford, let Thome walk, and move Kubel to full-time DH.  Seriously, Crawford is so good.  Gimme gimme gimme I need I need. 

3. Justin Rose.  Pretty good bounce back for Rose this week at the AT&T National.  Last week, Rose looked like he was going to be the runaway winner at the Travelers after stringing together three good rounds, but a disastrous 75 on Sunday dropped him to ninth.  This week, rather than let that derail what has been a good year, he went out and did it again, racing out to a big lead by Sunday, but avoided the crash and shot a final round 70 in route to a one-shot win over Ryan Moore.  That means his last three tournaments have gone win-should have won-win, and he's absolutely peaking for the British Open in two weeks, a tournament where he generally plays pretty well.  And I was just able to snag him early this week at 33-1 to win.   

4.  Matt LaPorta. You remember LaPorta, right?  He was the big centerpiece in the deal the Brewers made to acquire C.C. Sabathia from the Indians (a deal that, despite the results, should be the blueprint for the Twins to acquire Cliff Lee).  Since then he's kind of puttered around, hitting .254 in 200 ABs last year and .236 so far this year, all while showing the power of Nick Punto - not exactly what was expected of him.  But since the Indians traded Russ Branyan last week and installed him as the full-time first basemen he's shown flashes.  He started the week with a home run in three straight games, bringing his season total to four, and then closed the week with a three-hit game against Oakland.  It might not be much, but he has raised his average from .211 when he was sent down in early June to .236 now, so maybe he's figuring it out.  Or maybe it's a small sample size fluke.

5.  Miguel Olivo.  If you've been paying any attention to Matt Wieters, and I know I have, you know he sucks beyond anything since Mark Salas.  The reason I bring that up, is that Wieters sucked so bad we had to bench him in fantasy, and to replace him in the lineup Snake picked up Olivo - and it's paid off brilliantly.  After thrashing the Padres and Giants this week to the tune of .409/.435/.727, which included a 9-16 stretch, he's now hitting .307 for the year with 11 home runs and 39 RBI.  Notice anything fun about those numbers?  Yep, they're all better than what Joe Mauer is doing.  Just a brilliant move by the Royals letting this dude go and instead tossing a shitload of money at crappy old Jason Kendall instead.  There's a reason Kansas City hasn't been relevant since the early 90s.  Also Miguel Olivo is better than Joe Mauer.  Fact.



WHO SUCKED

1. South America.  Brazil and Argentina were two of the favorites to win the World Cup, and may even have been the top two teams, depending on who you asked.  And with teams like England, France, and Italy already eliminated their paths to the final looked almost preordained.  Unfortunately for them, Germany and the Netherlands had other ideas.  First, the Dutch knocked of Brazil 2-1 thanks to an own goal and an ejection, and then the Germans completely destroyed Argentina 4-0, their third game with four goals in the tournament.  They are looking awfully good right now, and I'd expect the winner of Germany/Spain on Wednesday day ends up taking this thing.  No offense to Uruguay or the Netherlands, but I'd put my money on the Germans.   

2.  Timberwolves.  I'm sorry, but they are seriously confusing the crap out of me.  I don't really know what they were doing with the draft last year, I don't know what they were doing this year, and I don't have any idea what they're doing with their cap room.  Bringing over Pekovic is fine, and it sounds like he's supposed to look pretty good, but signing Darko to a 4-year, $20 million when nobody else was going to offer him four years or $5 per year?  This contract should have been either 4 years/$8 million or 2 years/$6 million.  Such a bizarre decision.  I heard somebody on the radio describe David Kahn as the scariest GM in ball, but not because of his plan or anything, but because he seems to be doing the kind of long-term damage that can ruin a franchise.  I believe it.  I seriously have no idea what he's thinking.

3.  Matt Guerrier. Not a great week for Mr. Guerrier, who allowed at least one run in three of his four appearances this week, including that complete meltdown on Saturday.  His overall numbers are still good (ERA of 2.82, WHIP of 1.12) and he continues to be effective despite mediocre stuff, so let's hope this isn't the start of his annual "tired arm meltdown."  Despite all the times perception doesn't match reality, occasionally they sync up;  Guerriers ERAs for April-September:  3.59, 1.97, 2.75, 3.15, 4.66, 4.27.  He's heading towards a possible third straight year leading the league in appearances, so I'd say the burnout is more likely than not.  Let's hope Neshek and/or Condrey are ready when his arm gets tuckered out so they can just be plugged in.

4.  Dontrelle Willis.  Well you got to figure that's about it for Willis, barring a complete reinvention, after he was designated for assignment by the D-Backs earlier this week - which makes two teams that have given up on him this year (the D-Backs got him from the Tigers for essentially nothing).  He walked 27 batters in 22 innings for Arizona, and has basically been a walk machine since he went crazy bananas back in 2008 when he walked an astonishing 35 batters in 24 innings, which followed a 2007 where he led the league in runs allowed (as in he allowed the most runs, not the fewest).  Hard to believe this is the same guy who burst on the scene and won rookie of the year in 2003 and then put up a gem of a season in 2005 and finished runner-up in the Cy Young voting.  He's only 28, but I'm not betting on a comeback because that's now three full seasons of complete disaster.  I am now resisting putting a "D-Train/Trainwreck) joke.  I'll save those for Jesse Crain.

5.  NBA Free Agency.  I know I already mentioned the Wolves, but overall this has been pretty boring, right?  Nowitzki back to Dallas.  Pierce back to the Celtics.  Gay back to the Grizz.  Joe Johnson gets his max deal (mistake), but it's to go back and be a Hawk again.  Lame.  The only remotely interesting deal so far is Steve Blake to the Lakers, which is a nice deal for everyone involved.  It sounds like Amar'e has either already agreed or is close to agreeing to a deal with the Knicks, and the Suns have clearly moved on, signing both Channing Frye and Hakim Warrick, so maybe this will get things moving.  I'm thinking Wade and Bosh to the Bulls, LeBron to the Knicks and then they swing a deal for a point guard (Tony Parker?).  I don't know what is going to happen to the Wolves, but I'm willing to bet they overpay for David Lee despite the fact that his numbers came on a bad D'Antoni team and as such are inflated two ways, and then, since they have Lee, Love, and Jefferson they'll trade Jefferson for fifty cents.  Great.  Awesome.  Sweet.



Also way too tired for an outro.  If you don't like it you can go to hell.  I have an 8am fart-tastic meeting tomorrow, what do you want from me?

The First Ever DWG Mailbag

Big sports day today.  The world's longest Tennis match and a big win for the U.S.A. soccer team to win their pool at the World Cup.  But since I am equal parts don't know enough about it (not that that's stopped me before) and don't really care, I'm going to take a pass on writing about either of those things.


Instead, we're going to go with the first ever DWG Mailbag.  Thanks for writing, those of you who did. 



Q.  Which incoming Gopher basketball freshman are you most excited about?  And what's a reasonable expectation for the upcoming season?  I was unbelievably excited about last year until the debacle, but I'm actually getting pretty excited for this year as well.  I think we have the chance to be better than people give us credit for.

-  James M.

A.  None of the above?  Really, this is an incredibly underwhelming class.  You have a throw-in point guard with a cool name, a skinny white foreigner who might not even be eligible, a skinny shooter with a high basketball IQ who might have to redshirt, and a string bean prairie white boy center with chicken legs who might have to redshirt to go along with Mo Walker.  Since Walker is the only top-100 type, and maybe the only top-200 type, I'd go with him.  If you want a less obvious answer, I'll say Austin Hollins (the skinny shooter with a high IQ referenced above).  Shooting and a high IQ are good traits for a sleeper recruit to have, and a skinny kid can always grow into his body (Tayshaun Prince excepted).

As far as next year goes, if Mbakwe plays and guys like Rodney, Devoe, and Ralph continue to develop I could see a Sweet 16 run, but more likely they'll end up with a lower-upper division finish in conference and around a 6-7 seed.  If Trevor doesn't end up playing and everybody stagnates, you're probably looking at an NIT bid.

Q.  What do you see as the pros/cons of the Twins going out and acquiring Cliff Lee? & are you as baffled/outraged as I am that the Twins allegedly have interest in guys who have been designated for assignment by crappy teams like Pittsburgh and (not as crappy) Toronto (Encarnacion from Tor & some other reliever guy for Pittsburgh)?

-  Andrew W.

A.  The pros of acquiring Lee are that you have an established, proven, shut-down pitcher who always gives you a chance to win and is capable of essentially winning a game all by himself.  Not to mention an outstanding 1-2 punch at the front of the rotation, which can be all you need in the playoffs.

The cons would depend on what you gave up.  I highly doubt they'd be able to or even interested in signing Lee, so you're essentially paying for his services for a few months.  Additionally, every contender is going to be after him, so that price might get driven up pretty high.  The real worry is if they make the trade, don't advance beyond the first round, and then one or more of the traded pieces develop into a star.

Even so, I'm still advocating a Slowey/Ramos/third prospect offer.  Slowey is the kind of pitcher the Twins' minor-leagues are riddled with, so there should be no real issue with trading him.  He throws strikes and has below average stuff.  They have 10 more of these guys ready at AAA.  Ramos is obviously the center piece of the deal, and I'm not saying they should be jumping at the chance to get rid of him, but it's obvious catcher here is taken care of for a while, and they need to use this chip before the shine wears off.  Even if Ramos turns into an all-star, if Lee gets the Twins to the World Series it's worth it.

Also I am pretty sure there is no way they will have the balls to make this trade.  They will be too afraid to "mortgage their future" and instead will continue with the routine of making the playoffs and getting bounced by the Yankees.  Lame.

And I don't know anything about the Pirate reliever, but as far as 3B goes I'm just fine with the Twins exploring any and all possibilities to fill that hole, even if it means looking at the Blue Jays' castoffs or 93-year old Mike Lowell.

Q.  I’ve caught hints in a couple of posts that you watched LOST.  I’d be curious to know what you thought of the final season/finale and the series as a whole.

- John R.

A.  Faithful watcher of Lost since episode 1 here.  The show kind of lost it's way, but it veered pretty hard from what I thought I was getting myself into in the first place.  I was expecting a "stranded on an island with monsters and shit" and instead got something essentially out of the Twilight Zone.  Not that I'm complaining.

One of the best TV moments I can remember watching ever (EVER) was the first flash-forward episode in the season finale of I think season 4.  An absolute, knock-you-on-your-ass-holy-shit-no-way moment if ever there was one.  Or the opening to season 3, where The Others are sitting around, living a normal life and you think it's a flashback.  Nope, it's in real time, and the plane just crashed.  Awesome, awesome tv.  Right up until they started in on the Time Travel, this was the best show I've ever seen.

It was still good, just not great, and I was looking forward to the finale and have mixed feelings about it.  The island stuff was solid, giving you a nice wrap-up to the whole thing, and although they didn't answer all the questions, they answered enough for me.  The sideways world thing I think they could have done without, and if the final season focused on the island, and solely the island, I think it would have been stronger.  That being said, I also understand the need to finish with a big emotional payoff, giving you a happy ending for the characters you watched for the last 6 six years, and it did that.

Overall, I was luke-warm on the finale at first, but I've warmed up to it.  I would still strongly recommend the series to anybody who hasn't seen it, just know that after being blown away for four seasons, you just kind of coast to the end.

Q.  Which is your favorite shark movies of ALL the shark movies?

-  Kaylyn K.

A.  They rank like this:

Tier 1:  Jaws (not just a tier 1 shark movie, a tier 1 movie of all-time, and one which desperately needs to be released on Blu-ray)
Tier 2:  Jaws 2
Tier 3:  Jaws 3, Spring Break Shark Attack
Tier 4:  Almost everything I've blogged on here
Tier 1000000:  Shark Hunter, Deep Blue Sea
Tier 1000001:  Jaws 4

Out of the crap in tier 4, it's tough to pick a favorite.   Malibu Shark Attack will always have a soft spot in my heart for the worst science out of all of these (not counting Jaws 4).  Raging Sharks had Vanessa Angel, which is good, but also had some sort of alien crystals which caused sharks to attack humans, which was very, very bad.  And who could forget one of the Baldwins in Sharks in Venice?

But the best for pure campiness would have to be Shark Attack 3:  Megalodon.  Just go ahead and click on that link, and if you don't want to read the whole thing just watch the Youtube clip at the end.  Totally awesome.

And by the way, I really want to see Red Water again, a movie about a bull shark in a freshwater river starring Kristy Swanson and Mr. Belding (and Coolio).  I watched it when it first came out in 2003 and haven't seen it since, and it never seems to be on TV.  If you ever see that it's going to be on, please please please let me know.

And that's that.  Thanks for the mailings, folks, it was fun.  Feel free to go ahead and email at anytime if you have questions you'd like answered.  I can't say the amount of mailings was anywhere near enough to make this a regular thing, but still, go ahead and email anytime, and I'll get back to you (on here, probably).  Or, if I get enough again, the second ever DWG mailbag.

Two last things:

1.  It seems Super Sioux Fan has finally gone ahead and cracked.  And I mean all the way this time.

2.  It seems Wendy Peffercorn turned into quite the party girl.  No idea if Benny or Ham were involved.

It was probably Squints' fault, anyway.

Random Thoughts while watching the Twins

I once again have the opportunity to watch an entire Twins game with sound, and once again am going to take advantage while blogging whilst watching.  I won't be doing a live blog, since those seem to always end up boring lately and it's hard to get excited about the Mariners, but I'm sure some game or announcer related things will sneak in here.  I don't know.  I don't know if there's time.  I gotta go to Home Depot later.

-  First, it seems pitching a perfect game has become easier than your sister after a couple glasses of Boone's Farm.  On the heels of Dallas Braden and Roy Halladay's perfectos, Armando Galarraga pitched 8 and 2/3 perfect innings before having it broken up by an infield it, and according the radio the guy was only safe thanks to a bad call by the umpire (I haven't seen the replay, but I'll assume the umpire was probably racist).  And the list of guys with perfect games is so weird.  Out of the 20 perfect games, you have some that don't surprise you.  The Hall of Famers:  Sandy Koufax, Cy Young, Addie Joss, Jim Bunning, and Catfish Hunter and soon to be Hall of Famers:  Randy Johnson and Roy Halladay (if he can keep it up).  Then there are guys with electric stuff you don't really surprise you:  David Cone, Dennis Martinez, and even Mike Witt - the fact that they were unhittable for one day isn't a huge shock.

But then the rest of these guys.  Throw out Charlie Robertson because I've never heard of him and the two guys who did it in 1880 because the rules were all kinds of fucked up then, but Len Barker?  He only won double-digit games twice and never posted an ERA under 4.80.  Don Larsen?  You would never had heard of him if he didn't toss that perfect game in the World Series.  He never won more than 11 games in a season, and spent most of his career as a reliever.

The weirdest part is the sheer amount of soft-tossing lefties who achieved perfection:  David Wells, Tom Browning, Dallas Braden, Kenny Rogers, and Mark Buehrle.  That's as many nancy-boy southpaws who have done it as Hall of Famers.  It's just so weird.  I'm not taking anything away from the achievement, any way you look at it, it's still only been accomplished 20 times, but the list is mind-boggling.  Apparently Brian Duensing is more likely to toss a perfecto than Felix Hernandez.  So weird.

-  I just saw the replay.  That was a bad call.  I was also just reminded that Griffey Junior announced his retirement today.  Man was that guy good.  And since I am pretty sure he was never using anything performance enhancing (other than Mr. Burns' Nerve Tonic, which is not on the banned list) I can't help but wonder what would have happened if he had gone on the Barry Bonds diet. 

Griffey played until about 30 years old before he started getting injured all the frickin' time.  At that point, he had hit 438 home runs with a batting line of .296/.380/.568, giving him an OPS+ of 147 in 7,319 plate appearances.  At age 30, Bonds had hit 292 homers with a line of .286/.398/.541 for an OPS+ of 158 in 6,038 plate appearances.  Pretty close to equal.  So let's say Griffey stays mostly healthy and got as many at-bats as Bonds after age 30, and hit home runs at his same pace.  He would have ended up with 831 career HRs.  And if he hit the Balco diet and hit them at the rate Bonds did after age 30, he would have ended up with 908. 

I know it's a pretty useless exercise and uses a ridiculous amount of assumptions and conjecture, but still kind of fun to look at.  One thing is clear:  Griffey should have used the roids.  Burnsie's Tonic just couldn't quite cut it. 

-  Matt Tolbert somehow got a hit.  Dick:  "The Twins have some speed on the bases."  No, he's white and "gritty" and "scrappy."  That doesn't make him fast.  And he promptly tries to steal and gets thrown out by 8 feet.  Beautiful.  Gardy's fascination with that guy might be the worst part of him as a manager, and that's saying alot.

-  Now Punto walks, and Dick wants him to steal too.  What's this guy's fascination with stealing?  He would have thrived down in New Orleans after Katrina. 

-  Milton Bradley just stole third without a throw thanks to Kevin Slowey paying zero attention to him.  That's your go ahead run with only one out in a 0-0 game here in the bottom of the fifth.  I know Milton Bradley's crazy.  Like Carl Everett crazy, but I love his game.  I bet you didn't even know that in 2008 he led the league in OBP and OPS, and that he's broken a .400 on base percentage three times.  But he doesn't steal a ton of bases (career high of 17, hasn't hit double digits since 2007, and the two he stole in this inning just tripled his season total) so nobody cares that he gets on base all the time.  He's like the anti-Vince Coleman, but you probably like Coleman better because you're a moron.  Thanks for ruining baseball.

-   Oh, and he scored on a sac fly, so his heads up steal of third probably just won the game for the Mariners - who, I'll remind you, I claimed were a sleeper World Series contender.  I'm so dumb.

-  Since the M's are basically out of it already, I wonder when they'll deal Cliff Lee.  He's on the hook for $9 million this year, but he's a free agent after this season.  If the Twins tried to acquire him (LOL) I'd assume they wouldn't be looking to add payroll in the amount and length he'd be asking for, so it would have to be a half-year rental sort of deal.  Which I would be fine with, depending on what they are asking for.  I'm not sure what exactly I'd be willing to give up - haven't really thought about it - and I'm sure somebody else would be willing to offer him more + a contract (I'd bet he ends up a Met), so it's really just a pipe dream, but since they won't end up making a big trade deadline deal, pipe dreams is all I got.

-  They just showed the Galarraga replay again, and man, I don't like the guy or anything but that really sucks for him.  Maybe even worse, apparently the umpire admitted after the game that he blew it.  I'm sure that makes Galarraga feel a lot better.  Ugh.  Just a terrible situation.  And if Miguel Cabrera isn't a terrible terrible terrible fielder and let's the second basemen get that, we aren't even discussing it and are instead trying to figure out why there are so many perfect games this year.  He was probably drunk.

-  By the way, I just want you all to know that Matt Wieters fucking sucks.  It's like he's purposefully going out of his way to intentionally hurt me.  I'm shifting all my love to Stephen Strasburg, who, by the way, will be making his first big league start June 8th, which is only six days away.  I will be flying out to Washington for the occasion.*

-  It's still 1-0 Mariners and we're now in the 7th.  The good news is if they can get Lee out of the game (doubtful) Seattle's closer is David Aardsma, who in no way should be a closer and is the kind of closer you can rally against in the ninth.  Just like Jon Rauch.  :sadface:

-  Cuddyer dinger.  Tie game.  Suck it, Cliff Lee.  And Snacks.  I know you hate the guy with everything you have, but I can't enable this anymore.  There's no reason to hate him, guy can mash.  Sure, he chases the slider down and away all the time, but it's small price to pay for the power he brings.

-  Oh hell yes.  Cuddy is leaving the team for bereavement because his father-in-law died (that's not the hell yes part) and Danny Valencia will be called up.  Thank god we finally get to see this guy play.  I'm sick of hearing about him without seeing him.  And what happened to Luke Hughes?  And Trevor Plouffe?  Why do they keep recycling Tolbert and Casilla instead of giving one of these guys an extended look?  And just cut Harris.  Oh wait, you geniuses signed him for two years even though you only had to sign him for one.  For such a successful and well run organization sometimes these guys are dumb as shit.

-  Valencia's stats at AAA this year:  .298/.350/.380 with no homers and 34-13 BB/K ratio.  I could not be less excited.  Sounds like another slapper.  It's almost like they draft these kind of guys on purpose.  Seriously, the draft is in like a week and I expect them to go off the board and get a guy whose bio reads:

PROS:  Scrappy.  Tough.  Gritty.  Hustles.  Dives a lot.  Slides into first to show his hustle despite all the evidence that it's a dumb play.  Can play multiple positions.  Regularly invites teammates over for a barbecue.

CONS:  Can't hit.  No idea of the strike zone.  Gets an extra-base hit once a month.  Makes terrible base-running decisions.  Is either short and white or short and ethnic.  Definitely short.  Is a "Gardy" kind of guy.

-  Slowey lets the first two batters get hits in the seventh, but gets out of it with a double play (started by Tolbert!) and a pop-up.  We got a ballgame here folks.

-  Apparently they've given up.  Leading off the 8th, Punto attempted to bunt and ended up striking out and then Span did bunt and was thrown out by Lee on a pretty nice play.  I guess they've decided they can't hit him.  If only it was Aardsma out there.

-  I've come around on the Celtics/Lakers final.  I'm pretty fired up for it.  Definitely rooting Celtics here.  Even though I hate all Red Sox fans and most Patriot fans (but definitely all Red Sox fans), I have no problem with the Celtics.  I grew up a Laker fan because I hearted Magic Johnson and hated the Celtics and Bird because I had to, as I've gotten older I appreciate the Celtics more and more, and I'm rooting for them because I hate Kobe and still love KG and definitely love Ray Allen.  I've also learned to appreciate Michael Jordan.  I hated that guy and considered him nothing more than a high-scoring ball hog who managed to win.  But after watching a new generation of ball hogs who suck (I'm looking at you Tracy McGrady) I have to give Jordan some props.  He's still just the fifth best player ever, but that's higher than I used to have him.

-  I think Jesse Crain has a new curveball.  That thing is pretty nasty.  No way he had that pitch before, I would have noticed.  And he put Seattle down 1-2-3 in the 8th.  Pretty sure that's never happened before.

-  Sweet!  Aardsma is in to face Mauer/Morneau/Cuddy in the ninth.  This probably will end up not even being a save situation for Rauch.

-  Four pitch walk to Mauer.  Looking like a Morneau 2-run dinger here.

-  Or a wild pitch and a Morneau ground out to move him to third (look at that Twins baseball!  Giving up his at-bat to move a runner up!)  So now we have go-ahead run on third with one out for Cuddy.

-  And he hits the ball as hard as you can, but right at the shortstop who is playing in.  So it's up to Kubel.  All he does is win games.  Or strikeout.  Also a big fan of the pop-up.

-  Fly out.  Shit.  And apparently this has turned into a live blog of the game.

-  Guerrier goes 1-2-3 in the bottom of the ninth.  And I am getting way tired.  Stupid west coast.  And I hate traveling out there, every single sporting event is done by 8pm.  When you're out there alone and have nothing better to do than sit in a hotel bar and watch sports, that really puts a bit of a damper on things.

-  Twins lose.  Excellent base-running by the Mariner guy.  I'd write more on that play but I'm really tired.  Suffice it to say, that call to ruin the Big Cat's perfect game wasn't the only bad call tonight.





* = No, I'm not.

World Series Game 5 Live Blog

It could be the last game of the baseball season, so I might as well Live Blog this crap, right?  Plus we'll see if my man-crush on Cliff Lee grows, or just disappears like a john, with nothing more than a crisp new fifty on the night stand and a slight burning sensation during urination.  We're picking this game up in the top of the second after finally getting Wonderbaby^TM ready for bed.  She's a bit wound up after her first day of pre-pre-school today, and I'm a bit concerned because the majority of her classmates look like Sloth from the Goonies.  On to the show.....

-  It's 3-1 Phillies thanks to Chase Utley continuing to be a P.I.M.P.  And I turned it on just in time to hear McCarver say, "American League batters are used to Mariano Rivera breaking bats, but not many of them know about Cliff Lee........even though he was with the Indianas............Lee's a different pitcher with Philadelphia."  Dude.  Just stop.  It makes me glad I've been watching most of this with no sound - which I'll be doing again shortly once Mrs. W gets back from putting the baby down.

-  Speaking of Lee and pitching game five, I think he should have been moved up and pitched last night, but this yahoo article is quite harsh and mostly retarded (like Dawger).  I hardly think that decision "blew the world series" or that Charlie Manuel is like Forrest Gump and "stupid is as stupid does."  He also calls Cliff Lee "not an ace" because he didn't demand the ball for game 4.  I'm seriously stumped.  I didn't like it at the time, but I'm thinking that it was actually a good decision by Manuel.  Think about it - Blanton pitched well enough for the Phillies to win, Lidge blew the game.  If they can steal a win with Blanton going against Sabathia, suddenly the Phillies are in the driver's seat, and they damn near did it, again, if it wasn't for Lidge - not Blanton and not Manuel.  I'm willing to bet Passan had this article typed up before even the first pitch of Sunday night's game, and when the Phils lost he just hit send on his little mac-book.  It's not even surprising, that seems to be the standard for journalism these days.  Except me.  I'm really good.

-   Boy has Texeira been brutal.  Another weak grounder with a runner on base, and he's now at .062 for the series.  And yet since the Yankees will win, nobody will say a word.  This is so unfair to A-Rod. 

-  There is way too much being made of Damon stealing third after stealing second on the same play.  Yes, it was totally heads up and a great, smart, alert play - no doubt.  But also let's try to remember that A-Rod doubled two batters later - Damon is scoring from any base.  I'm just thankful Jeter isn't the one who made that play, can you imagine?  It would make the Madden/Favre love fest look like Twilight.  Because it's a chastity parable.  Shut up.  No, you're gay.

-  Utley walks and steals second - any chance we can get a losing player winning the World Series MVP?  I don't think it's ever happened, right?  I know some defensive guy from the Cowboys won the Super Bowl MVP even though the Cowboys lost back in the 70s, but I don't think it's happened in baseball.  Of course, seeing as how Jeter is on the Yankees and everyone loves him more than life itself, he'll get it for hitting .360 with no runs batted in and just two extra-base hits.  What a joke.  God I hate you Derek Jeter.  You know that scene is Se7en, where Kevin Spacey ties that guy to the bed and like cuts his hand off and somehow tortures him but keeps him alive for like a year?  What?  I'm just asking if you remember that scene, I ain't sayin' nothin'.

-  The NL's Jason Kubel knocks in Utley.  Burnett getting rocked.  And trust me, A.J. Burnett doens't have the mental capacity to recover when he's getting smoked.  Might as well pack up and head to New York, folks, this one's over.

-  Ibanez knocks in another one, and that'll do it for fragile little A.J.  We're going to David Robertson here folks, although if I'm Girardi I call this one over and go to Mitre or Gaudin.

-  Wow, base hit for Cliff Lee.  We're at 6-1 here, and Rollins can break this baby wide open.  Well, wide opener.

-  Strikes out like a jerk.

-  Link to Blue Ribbon's preview of Gopher basketball.  It points out something I had either forgotten or never knew:  The Gophers had more turnovers than assists last year.  Ouch.  Damian Johnson, Al Nolen, and Kevin Payton were the only ones with more assists than TOs, and Westbrook (1/1.5), Iverson (1/2.2), and Busch (1/2.l) were absolute killers.  Let's go ahead and put that as priority #1 for next season, shall we?  Also note that with rounding, future Big Ten P.O.Y. Ralph Sampson was one of only four players with a 1-to-1 ratio or better (and, of course, the preview doesn't fail to compare him to his "Heroin Satan" father - god that must get old).

-  FYI, Colbie Smulders recently had a baby, and she has lost the baby weight, but she hasn't lost it from everywhere, if you know what I'm saying.  (NOTE:  I'm talking about her boobs.)  This is her, if you are unaware:

Now imagine that with some C+ cups.

-  Derek Jeter got a hit.  MVP!  MVP!  MVP!  MVP!

-  Don't worry, nothing came of it.  And a great catch in left-center by Brett Gardner.  He's 10 times the fielder Melky is, too bad he can't hit for shit.  Sounds an awful lot like Carlos Gomez, no?

-  Iowa is ranked #4 in the latest BCS.  Serious question, how many other top 10 teams do you think Iowa would beat more often than not?  Florida?  Texas?  Alabama?  Boise?  Georgia Tech?  Cincy?  TCU?  I'm not sure there's a single team here they are bettre than..

-  Ok, actually they got a run somewhere back there, and it's now 6-2.  I would have known that, but I have become a bit distracted by facebook, and everybody trying to sound cool and ignore the fact that I was part of a group interview of Magic Johnson and Larry Bird today.  You are all jerks.

-  Oh, yeah.  So I was part of a conference call of a bunch of writers who got to do a group interview of Magic and Larry today.  Of course, it was only an hour and there were people from like, ESPN and The Sporting News and USA Today, etc., so I didn't get a chance to actually ask a question since I'm pretty sure I'd be the Pittsburgh Pirates of the invitees, but it was still cool.

- Cliffy keeps rolling along, now through seven with just the two runs allowed.  It certainly wouldn't hurt for the Phillies to pick up a couple of more runs here. 

-  This probably deserves it's own post, but here is a report on Corey Joseph's reaction to his official visit on Saturday.  Sounds good, folks, sounds really good.  In particular pay attention to the first two comments below the article - very insightful.

-  Utley just destroys a pitch down the line, but foul.  Dude, that guy is so dialed in right now it's ridiculous.

-  And the very next pitch he goes yard.  Again.  This guy is a second basemen, it just isn't right.  That's five in this series, which I think is some kind of record.  And we could have two more games.  I'm actually kind of starting to believe the Phillies can come back and win this - delirious, I know.

-  Ibanez goes yard.  This Phil Coke guy sucks.  Let me remind you all that Pedro's career postseason WHIP = 1.07.  Bring it Yanks, because I feel a career defining Pedro performance on Wednesday.  Yes, another one.

-  Cliffy gives up three straight hits, including a double that probably should have been caught but Ibanez is 100 years old to A-Rod and it's 8-4, and we get Chan Ho Park for like the 10th time this series.  Confidence = ug.

-  Park gets three straight guys out, but another run comes in when Ben Francisco - in at CF for the Flyin' Hawaiian who may or may not have injured his hand after taking a Burnett fastball off it - totally lolligags the throw to home and A-Rod tags up from third.  Really a very good, smart play.  He did the bluff-type thing, saw Francisco kind of wasn't really trying, and then just kept going and beat the throw.  Good play.  8-5 Phils, but the Yanks will get one more crack at it.

-  T-Wolves down 25-23 in the first.  I benched Kaman on my fantasy basketball team tonight and put in Ryan Anderson because I need more three-pointers.  Kaman has 8 points and 6 boards already.  Why the hell would I bench a center against the Wolves?  Dumb.  And speaking of fantasy, I now have the details on my fantasy college basketball league.  I'll be posting those sometime this week. 

-  Oh yeah, my fantasy basketball (NBA) team includes LeBron, Dwight Howard, Andrew Bynum, Joe Johnson, and Derrick Rose.  Yeah, I'm dominant.  Also when I just looked up my roster right there I realized that Kaman is still starting until tomorrow, so disregard all that "I'm dumb" talk.  Plus, you should have tried to make me feel better and you didn't.  Why are your feelings the only ones that matter?

-  8-5 still, but Madson gives up a lead-off double to Posada.  Seeing as how you not only can't trust Lidge, but he's probably not available anyway, I'd assume this is Madson's show.  If he sucks and they end up bringing in Brett Myers at any point, we might as well just engrave the trophy for the Yanks right then and there.

-  I just saw Danielle Harris's boobs.  God bless you free Showtime preview.

-  Base hit for Matsui.  If I used swear words on this blog, this would be the part where I would type fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

-  Jeter grounds into a double play.  Ha ha, way to be a True Yankee, Jeter.  Awesome.

-  Damon base hit.  A Tex home run here ties the game.  Awesome.  Nice bullpen Philadelphia.

-  Nevermind, he strikes him out proving that there is at least one person on this planet with the last name Madson who you can trust, and we're going back to New York where the Yankees will almost certainly win it.  But I really hope not.

World Series Game 1 Live Blog

Picking this bad boy up in the fourth, 1-0 Phillies thanks to the awesome Chase Utley.  Sabathia looked shaky early, but seems to have settled down, and Cliff Lee has been great.

-  Cliff Lee is like the next Sandy Koufax, dude.  I wasn't sure why they were going with Lee over Hamels, but he just struck out the side and looked awesome doing it.  Good call charlie Manuel.

-  Wow, I'm so used to Gardy here that I'm actually stunned that Robinson Cano isn't bunting here with a runner on first and nobody out.  Of course, Cano isn't exactly Punto, and he hit around .300 with 20+ homers, so I guess this isn't quite the same situation.

-  Wow, what a great freaking play by Rollins.  I have no idea if he meant to catch it or drop it, but he turned two either way and it was, simply put, brilliant.

-  UTLEYYYYyyyyyyyyy x2

-  By the way, I checked out some of the Wolves' game tonight, and first of all, that team is god awful (currently losing 74-61), and secondly, holy crap is Damien Wilkins a terrible defender.  He's ok on offense, in a boring sort of way (10 pts/9 rebs) but just a terrible, terrible, horrible, ugly defender.  In the fifteen minutes or so I watched, he gave up a bunch of layups, both by getting beat off the dribble and by losing guys away from the ball on cuts or screens.  It was, without question, the worst thing I've ever watched - other than Jumper.

-  McCarver keeps talking about how Jayson Werth is the best player nobody is talking about, and it turns out in a rare turn of events he's right.  .268/.373/..506 with 36 homers this year?  That's nearly identical to the year Jason Bay had, and Bay is talked about as a top five MVP kind of guy, while Werth is rarely mentioned in any conversation of the game's best.  You know why?  People love RBIs, and Bay had 119 while Werth had 99.  Werth is kind of like the Jason Kubel of the National League, and he's rapidly moving up my list of favorite players. 

-  Now that I think about it, I think the debate was actually Hamels or Pedro for game 2, not Hamels vs. Lee for game 1.  In any case, Cliff Lee is god damned awesome.

-  Jeter knocks a hit with one out in the bottom of the sixth.  Man, he is such a true Yankee hero.  He's like the Brett Favre of baseball (which kind of makes him the Pete Rose of baseball, which actually makes a lot of sense).

-  Lee gets Damon to pop up, and not only does he catch it himself (going against a very silly unwritten rule of baseball) but kind of pulls a hybrid Rickey Henderson 1-handed catch/Hap Felsch basket catch).  Very pimp.  Lee is rapidly moving up the chart of my favorite players, also partially because of that wicked ass curveball that I somehow didn't realize he had.

-  It's now clear that I'm rooting heavily for the Phillies, which makes sense since I kind of adopted them as my NL team after I went to a game at Citizen's Bank Park for a work thing.  I wasn't expected Yankee hatred to bubble to the surface, but here it is.  It wasn't until I started picturing the articles and reactions if they won that my blood started to boil.  Please don't let the Yankees win, it's going to be disgusting.

-  CC walks Francisco to lead off the inning, but gets a double play and another easy out.  He's at 113 pitches, so is probably done for the night.  That was a big chance to get a couple more, hopefully it doesn't kill them, because that Philly bullpen is questionable at best.  Luckily kick ass Cliff Lee is only at about 86, two more innings and then hand it over to Lidge (and close your eyes and pray).

-  One other thing I forget to mention from the Wolves game (currently losing 87-79), is that Terrence Williams, formerly of Louisville and now on the Nets, is going to be an absolute stud.  The announcer called him a point guard trapped in a linebacker's body, and that's a pretty apt description.  He currently has 15 points and 10 boards, and was unstoppable when I was watching (Brook Lopez has 27 and 14, but he's a weirdo and the Wolves don't have anything resembling a center, so I'm not impressed).   

-  Holy crap Natalie Portman is on Top Chef (which we are watching, I'm watching the game on an internet feed) and oh my goodness is she hot.  This isn't quite like seeing her live, but she's not in a movie role and she is just amazing looking.  I always had her near the top of my list, but I have kind of forgotten about her lately.  No more.  She is rapidly moving up my list of hottest chicks.  Look:

-  Posada check swings a little nubber down the line which Lee picks up, and instead of just tagging Posada out, he tags him by slapping him on the ass with his glove.  Man crush picking up major steam.  Right now if I have to choose Portman or Lee, I'm going Portman, but it's closer than you'd like to think or I'd like to admit.

-  Yankees close Sabathia's day out:  7ip, 4 hits, 3 walks, 2 runs, and 6 Ks.  Pretty good day of work outside of the two Utley ding-dongs.  Of course, he's also lucky none of those walks came around to score.  The Yanks are going Hughes here, and I'm guessing Rivera in the 9th, so the Phils better hope they don't somehow lose this lead.

-  NOTE:  Natalie Portman's favorite color is purple.  This will come in handy when I commence with the stalking.  And she just made a "prick in your mouth" joke.  Be still my heart.

-  Sorry.  During all that Rollins walked and stole second, followed by another walk to Victorino, and we're going to Damaso Marte.  Nice job Hughes, I'm glad you're not a Twin.  That would be pretty sweet if Utley knocks out a third one here.  I'm also legitimately surprised Girardi isn't giving the ball to Mariano here - I thought that was always the M.O.

-  Utley whiffs on three called strikes that all might have been outside, but the important thing here is that somehow the Wolves won 95-93.  I have no idea what happened, but now I'm going to have to watch the damn news.  You win this round, Don Shelby.

-  God, watching this show she has such a wonderful personality, too, and she's smart and a Harvard grad.  Two real issues here:  1) she's a flaming liberal and 2) she's a vegetarian.  I don't think it would work for us to get married, but Natalie, if you want to have a little fling shoot me an email, girl.

-  Robertson comes in and walks Werth after Howard flew out.  Bases loaded, two outs for Ibanez.  Still surprised we aren't getting Rivera.

-  Ibanez comes through and knocks in two, looks like Rivera would have been a better move than leaving in Dave frreaking Robertson.  I think Girardi should be fired.

-  Cliffy back out for the 8th, just under 100 pitches.  If he can handle this one quick we might be looking at a complete game shut out.

-  Two pitches, and a ground ball up the middle he fields behind his back.  I don't think I even need to say it.

-  Lee whiffs Swisher for the second out.  I wonder if he's still making the team laugh and doing fancy handshakes while they continue walking out there and looking like clowns against Superman Lee.

-  Third out is an easy fly out.  Lee at something like 107 pitches.   Hopefully they give him the chance to finish it.

-  Phillies pick up two more on a bunch of hits, and it would have been three put apparently the "Flyin' Hawaiian" is slow as shit.  6-0 going into the bottom of the ninth.

-  Two bloop hits and a Jimmy Rollins error and the shutout is gone, but Lee finishes it out and the Phils lead 1-0, and this was just a stud performance by Cliff Lee.  I think he's rocketing up my list of favorite baseball players.