Week in Review - 6/25/2012

So in Back to the Future, right, Marty goes back in time and effs everything up by pushing his future dad out of the way of that car and then his mom falls for him instead and puts Marty's actual existence in jeopardy to the point where he starts to fade out of existence before his future parents finally kiss, right?  But if he fades out of existence, then he can't go back in time and screw everything up between his parents, so then he'd exist again, right?

Wait.  Actually they clear all this up in #2.  And pretty much make it clear at the end of #1.  I really shouldn't have written that paragraph up there with 20 minutes left in the movie.  Which, yes, I've seen many times but not in several years.  This intro here is really starting to ramble.  I'm going to stop talking now.  This is me not talking.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Francisco Liriano.  I can't remember the last time I wrote anything good about this guy and who knows when this opportunity will occur again so with apologies to Josh Willingham's clutchitude I'm giving Frankie the Twins' reserved spot this week.  After another good start against Pittsburgh, Liriano's numbers in his last five starts are looking downright respectable - 30ips, 16 hits, 9 runs, 12 walks, 35 Ks, .155 OAVG, .497 OPS, 2.67 ERA.  He's basically been completely different than he was his first first pass through the rotation to start the season where his ERA was near 10 in his six first starts with an OPS over 1.000.  He's throwing more strikes and thus cutting back on the free passes, and his K-rate is actually up as well.  Which is the real, Liriano?  The walk machine who gets knocked around the yard like he's Jason Marquis, or the one who suddenly looks like a capable #3 or #4 starter?  Honestly I don't have a clue, so hopefully they trade him right quick and let somebody else figure it out.  As the honorable barrister Vincent Gambino (aka Jerry Callow) once said, "I'm finished with this guy."

2.  Lebron James.  Others have said it better and I'm sure others have said it worse (although that seems slightly less likely) but holy crap did this guy figure all this shit out.  His numbers were ridiculous (29 pts/10 rebs/7 assists/2 steals for the finals and similar for the overall playoffs, but they don't tell the whole story because he just completely owned that court.  Every time he posted on the wing or block the Thunder could either double, in which case he made the right pass 90% of the time leading to easy Miami baskets, or leave somebody to try to play him one-on-one which led to a Lebron score pretty much every time.  He can control the game posting up the way Barkley did with regularity, but with Magic Johnson's ability to see where the defense is going before they go there and make the perfect pass and (early) Jordan's ability to score by driving if he gets 1-on-1 coverage.  It's just sick, and I fear his stats next year - he may legitimately threaten to average a triple double.  If you're a Lebron hater (and I think somehow I lost my Lebron hate after realizing he's really just a dumb kid who didn't know what he wanted and then seeing him grow up in these playoffs) you better pray to baby santa jesus that he doesn't develop a jump shot.  It would be like watching a real life NBA Jam guy out on the court.   You wouldn't even have to put in the "big head" code because of that giant 'Bron melon. 

3.  Mario Chalmers.  You could put Mike Miller or Shane Battier here as well because all three of those dorks had either a tremendous series or several huge moments/games, but I'm picking Chalmers to single out because he's young while Battier is like a wrinkly-headed Methusaleh and Miller might legitimately retire because of his severe back issues, and also of course because the A-hole Wolves traded Chalmers on draft day when their point guards were Sebastian Telfair and Kevin Ollie (note:  I'm not making this up, those were their PGs that year unless you want to count Randy Foye).Anyway, if you go game-by-game in the Finals you see Game 2:  Battier with 17, Game 4: Chalmers with 25, and Game 5: Miller with 23 - there was always someone stepping up for the Heat.  While this series was billed as Big 3 vs. Big 3 and Lebron will get most of the credit for the win (and deservedly so) it shouldn't be ignored that while the Thunder became the Big 2 (more on this later) the Heat because the Big 4 each night, albeit with a different 4th piece.  Chalmers and Miller hit some big shots which shouldn't be a surprise based on their college resumes, while Battier hitting big shots was a pretty big shock since Duke is a bunch of choking a-holes.

4.  Chris Sale.   I completely loved this dude the last two years as a reliever, and pretty much figured with his stuff (double-figures in K/9 both the last two years) he was setting himself up as Chicago's future save-getting-saver guy.  But, smartly, the White Sox realized he was too good to only use like, 3 innings a week and half of those with a 3-run lead and nobody on base, so they decided to turn him into a starter.  Would it work?  Of course, because Sale is practically unhittable and he's been that most of this year.  After nearly throwing a no-hitter against Milwaukee, Sale now leads the AL in ERA at 2.24 and second in WHIP at 0.96 (behind only teammate Jake Peavy).  He has 89 Ks in 88 innings against just 23 walks and 62 hits, leading to a .193 opponent's batting average, which is third in the league.  In short, this dude is wicked good.  Which is the kind of thing you can get when you spend a high draft pick on a polished college pitcher.  Seriously, Kevin Gausman is going to come back to haunt the Twins.  Bank on it.

5.  Toronto Blue Jays.  Not so much the results because they were only 3-3 (although I guess on the road against Milwaukee and Miami that isn't too terrible), but because of their power numbers, the likes of which we haven't seen in Minnesota since I was still playing softball.  This past week four dudes in MLB hit four homers - three of them were Jose Bautista, Edwin Encarnacion, and Colby Ramsus (those are all Blue Jays, dumbass).  Brett Lawrie hit two as well, to make 14 homers for the week.  I'm willing to bet the Twins haven't hit 14 home runs in a week since back in 1930.  Pairing that offense with a young pitching staff to build upon including Brandon Morrow, Kyle Drabek, Ricky Romero, Drew Hutchison, and Deck McGuire and the Blue Jays are set up for a long run of success.  Is what I would be saying if the Jays weren't in the AL East, but they are so they're pretty much effed.


WHO SUCKED

1.  Twins.   I know a 3-3 week with two wins over the Reds for this team is like, the best week in history but honestly this might be one of the worst teams, especially offensively, in the history of the history of the world.  Fourteen total runs in those six games, which including facing studs like Kevin Correia and Homer Bailey.  Twelfth in the AL in runs.  Thirteenth in homers.  The overall average is decent (8th), but there's zero power behind it (13th in ISO - power discarding average) and is boosted by the 7th highest BABIP despite one of the five worst line drive rates in the league.  Awful.  And throw in the pitching woes and it's hard not to believe this is the worst team in the league.  Worst ERA in the league.  Worst opponent batting average in the league.  Fewest quality starts in the league.  Fewest strikeouts in the league.  The only team whose pitching can compete with the Twins in terms of shittiness is the Rockies, and they play in a launching pad so they at least have an excuse.  And the real killer is there is nothing on the horizon to make you at least hope for the future.  So I quit.

2.  Kendrick Perkins.  Now, it's probably a little mean to pick on Perkins because his one real skill is defending big centers and the Heat didn't have a big center who they played at all (Joel Anthony and Ronny Turiaf combined for 5 minutes total in all five games), but man was he exposed out there. Bosh just completely owned him in every game and I'm pretty sure I saw Udonis Haslem school him at least once.  You don't really expect to get any offense out of him, but outside of a 12 & 10 game in Game 3 he averaged just over 5 boards and about 3.5 points per game, well under his season averages.  Basically he was completely useless, but I actually enjoyed watching someone get torched so easily so it was kind of fun at times.  Probably not if you were a Thunder fan or anything, but I bet it was a god damned riot if you live in Seattle.

3.  James Harden.  Remember how the big thing everyone talked about with the Thunder a couple of weeks ago was how they'd have to make a decision on keeping either Harden or Serge Ibaka?  Unfortunately the best thing you could say about Ibaka in the Finals was that at least he didn't play as badly as Harden, and boy was he awful. He was actually good in Games 2 and 5 and the Thunder won Game 1, but he was so terrible in Games 3 and 4 - pretty monstrously important games in a best of 7 series, that you can make a pretty convincing argument that he's the biggest reason the Thunder lost.  Beardy Bearderson was 4-20 from the floor in those games, including 1-9 from three, and lost his confidence to such an extent that he actually started passing up open shots, which probably hurt the Thunder more than the misses did.  Not saying the Thunder could have beaten the Heat even if Harden played well, but they sure as hell weren't going to beat them without him.  I mean, would Three's Company have been as funny and sexy without Janet?  Actually I'm pretty sure yes.

4.  Tim Lincecum.  His final line on his latest start actually ended up ok, 6 innings - 3hits -3runs - 4walks-8 Ks - but the way it started was as ugly as his season has been.  Against a really, really crappy A's offense he allowed single-single-single-walk-groundout-walk and suddenly Oakland had put up 3 runs.  Then he struck out the next three batters and allowed only two base runners the rest of the game.  Some might this is a good sign that the old Lincecum might be back, but he's done this before (8 inning 3-hitter against San Diego and a couple other good outings), but all it's really resulted in is an ERA north of six and a WHIP more than 25% higher than his career number.  I mean, he's lasted less than six innings nine times already this year compared to just six times all of last season.  His walks and home runs are way up, he's allowing way to many line drives and no longer inducing easy pop-ups, and his fastball is down over 2mph to last year - and that last one is really the killer.  A lot of things can be ascribed to luck, and Wiley Wiggins here has had some bad luck this year, but when you drop down to a Blackburn-esque fastball when you're a strikeout pitcher?  Yikestown.

5. Adam Dunn.  Well if you were looking for last year's version of Adam Dunn I think we found him this week, because his extremely stellar season took a short detour off the rails (although not before he covered his season prop of OVER 20.5 HRs - holla).  This week Dunn came up to the plate 27 times.  He walked 5, and struck out 13.  Of the nine times he actually put the ball in play he hit two singles.  All of which adds up to a .095 average (and slugging).  Granted, when you have a dude like Adam Dunn you're going to get weeks like this and have to hope you get enough of those 4 home run weeks to balance it all out, but it's still worth pointing out a shitty week like this, and it's kind of jarring when you see a dude who struck out 13 times last week.  Also I just saw that Michael Cuddyer was 2-25 and I'd love to make fun of him a little bit but now it's too late cuz I wrote all this crap.  And you just read it.  Ha ha I win.



Pretty excited Juwan Howard has a ring, you guys.  I mean he was my fourth favorite Fab Five guy and all (1. Jalen, 2. King, 3. Webber, 4. Juwan, 5. Jackson, 6. Rob Pelinka), but I was/am such a huge fan it's nice to see one of them get a ring, especially since he was such a key cog in that machine.  And as we know, Juwan always wins:

In your face kid from Modern Family

Also seriously how freaking sweet is this thing:

There are, literally, hundreds of college basketball starting lineups I want.  If they exist.

MLB 2011 Mid-Year Check-In, Part 2

Part 1 was yesterday (scroll down, genius) where I talked about the good things so far this year in MLB.  Now here are the bad:



1.  Joe Mauer.  I just recently let lose with a little Mauer diatribe, so instead of simply rehashing what I already said you can read it by clicking here.  Of note:  since I wrote that he's gone 6-17 and raised his average 20 points and, if you can believe this, even hit a double.  That's two bases with one swing.  I couldn't believe it either.

2.  Derek Jeter.  Apparently being "too tired" to play when you're "star" is getting to be an epidemic because Derek Jeter, arguably the biggest "star" in baseball depending on how you want to define that, begged out of tonight's all-star game due to "exhaustion."  I personally don't really care who plays and who doesn't because the whole thing is really kind of stupid, but the most idiotic thing I've heard in a long time came from a caller on the radio today who tried to explain, "You people did nothing but complain that he didn't deserve to be voted into the game, and now, because he's such a class act, he decides not to play so Asdrubel Cabrera can start, and you rip him for that." 

Seriously, dumbass?  I'm sorry and I know you love him, but captain intangiibles isn't a shining greek god of virtue and I don't care how many barbecues he invites his teammates too or how often he has Robinson Cano sleep over at his house and they tag-team Minka Kelly.  Look, I get it - he's a decent looking, non-threatening dude who plays the game well, isn't overly cocky, doesn't show up opponents, and bangs lots of chicks.  But there's a guy like him on every team except the fucking evil White Sox, and nobody knows what he (they) are like off the field.  Jeter could very well be a serial killer rapist arsonist litterbug for all we know, but because that shit I wrote earlier plus he plays in the biggest market for the most famous team and people can't stop making love to excuses for anything he does.

It's like that dude who caught Jeter's 3,000th hit and gave it away for some autographed shit and box seats.  Noble?  Moral?  How the hell is that noble or moral when the guy has over $100k in debt?  You owe it to yourself to get your life in order (and yes I know it's student loans not credit card bills, which kind of makes this more depressing) with your once in a lifetime lottery winning baseball and you toss it away to make an empty gesture to a guy who will make more this year than you'll make in ten lifetimes, will bring in nearly $300 million total by the time his career his over in just salary (not counting endorsements) and likely wouldn't cross the street to piss on your face if it was about to be run over by a car?  Guess what?  He's already forgotten about you.  And that $100k you owe?  That's what he makes in a day.

You know how they say that the lottery is really just a tax on stupidity?  Well, it's now being reported that this guy might have to pay something like $14k in taxes on the "gifts" he got from the Yankees.  Now that's really a tax on stupidity. 

3.  Florida Marlins.  The Marlins were looking like they were going to be a very nice story this year.  Smallest payroll on the team at $35 million, a team that had to trade Dan freaking Uggla because he was too expensive, and suddenly they ripped out of the box with a 30-20 start, and behind Josh Johnson were looking like a nice NL East sleeper team.  Then Johnson got hurt, they couldn't sustain their early momentum, they lost 19 out of 20, Hanley Ramirez proved he's more lazy than leader, they fired their manager, and are now 43-48 and 14 games out of first (and it's only that good thanks to a 5-game winning streak going into the break).  Now all they're good for is laughing at any highlights of their home games because there are about 16 people there.

4.  The entire Twins' bullpen.  Honest to god, is it really that hard to have one guy who you can trust to get three outs?  Perkins is the only full-time reliever with an ERA under 4.40 and if you trust him you're dumber that got into my van the other night.  Cappsie's WHIP looks respectable, but unfortunately it's accompanied by one of the worst HR allowed rates on the team and he seems to be on a rapidly accelerating slide from mediocre to pathetic.  Nathan can be excused, at least mostly, but there's no real reason for Jose Mijares to be putting up career worst numbers (he has more walks than strikeouts for christ's sake) and Phil Dumatrait and Alex Burnett may as well just put the ball on a tee.  And if anybody does pitch well (Chuck James and Anthony Slama have thrown 7 combined innings of 1-hit ball) they're immediately shipped out.  I mean is it time to make Anthony Swarzak your #1 set-up guy now?  Has it really come to this? 

5.  Adam Dunn.  Another guy I've talked about here before, but it's impossible to ignore how bad he's been.  Dunn has always done three things:  strike out like crazy, walk constantly, and hit a ton of home runs.  Well this year he's striking out at an all-time high rate, walking far less than normal (second lowest of his career), and is well on pace to hit the fewest homers he's ever had in a season.  Even the hits he always got accidentally aren't falling this year, and he's also hitting nearly 100 points below his career mark at just .160.  He's on pace for just 15 homers with 204 strikeouts, which would be the fewest home runs (by 9) by a batter with 180 or more Ks.  His .160 would be the worst batting average by a player with over 180 Ks by 38 points, and his (on pace for) 59 RBI would be the lowest ever by 11.  We are talking a truly, epically, pathetically putrid season, and the Sox just signed him for four years and $56 million.  Awesome.  

6.  Royals starting pitching.  Kansas City seems to be going the right way on the offensive side of the ball - Hosmer looks good, Butler is solid, Gordon seems to be figuring it out, and they got all those other prospects on the way.  On the hill, however, they have some of the worst arms in history, and that's why they couldn't sustain their semi-hot start.  Three of the five worst WHIPs among starting pitchers with at least 50 innings belong to Royals:  Kyle Davies (1.92), Sean O'Sullivan (1.78), and Danny Duffy (1.64).  Duffy, at least, is clearly part of their future (assuming he develops) but if that's the strategy then retreads who suck like Jeff Francis and Bruce Chen don't make much sense either.   

7.  Twins' injuries.  You guys ever wonder what's going on with the Twins and how many games they miss due to injury?  Doesn't it seem pretty ridiculous, like something must be wrong?  Morneau missed the entire second half of last year with a concussion and Denard Span is chasing his games missed record.  Meanwhile 1-2 weeks seems pretty standard.  Mauer has missed 2-months this year with some bizarre, mysterious injuries and it's not the first time he's done that.  Then you have Kubel, who has now missed a month and a half with an injured foot, and is expected to miss another 1-2 weeks post all-streak, and I'm pretty sure Delmon Young has missed a couple weeks on two separate occasions this year - once due to being cold and once due to being tired.  I just don't get it, man.  Either this team has the worst trainers in the world or is the biggest collection of babies outside of a lactation convention.

8.  Ubaldo Jimenez.  It's always kind of tough to trust one-year wonders, especially starting pitchers, and Ubaldo is showing you why.  After maybe one of the most impressive first halves of a season in recent baseball history he started to fade late last year and has continued that slide right into a mediocre, irrelevant, mid-rotation pitcher.  His numbers this year (4.14 ERA/1.30 WHIP) are nearly identical to Carl Pavano's (albeit with far more Ks and BBs).  This from the same dude who finished 3rd last year NL Cy Young voting, so consider if Johan Santana was here in his prime and suddenly turned into Carl Pavano.  You know, like Scott Erickson.

9.  Jim Riggleman.  I dig this because it's one of the most awesome examples of someone not nearly understanding how much value and leverage (or lack thereof) they actually have.  He's always been a terrible manager (career:  662-824) with just two winning seasons and one playoff appearance out of 10 tries.  He was signed as the Nationals manager, and appropriate match of awful to awful, and in this, the third year of his contract, he managed to get them to win 11 of 12 games and was pushing for management to sign off on his extension for next year (despite their overall record of 27-36 before that streak).  Management, wisely, chose not to do so at that point and so Riggleman resigned.  Full on jackassery, all the way around. 

10.  Clay Buchholz.  If you're sitting there still waiting for Buchholz to put it all together and become the stud he's seemed destined to become, get in line.  I swear I've drafted this hippie every year in fantasy baseball, and every year he turns out to be as brittle as Ralph Sampson's confidence.  Last year he looked like he might finally have done it, making 28 starts and registering a 2.33 ERA (2nd in the league), but after a rough start this year where he was allowing homers at a Matt Cappsian rate he's once again out with a back injury.  He's supposed to be ready soon after the break, but for those of us who have followed his career way too closely we know that's a dirty lie.


Finally, this is where I'd tell you to expect Grandslam to come in with his British Open preview at some point this week but I just asked him if he was going to do one and he said, "No, the Open is stupid played on stupid courses and you can't predict anything."

Nice expert.  As such, I'll at least try to get up some thoughts on this Wednesday night, but I have a pretty big work function that's expected to go from 6-10pm (at the earliest) so the odds aren't great.  I promise I'll try.  Unlike most of the Twins.

Week in Review 6-27-2011

I know I had mentioned that I was going to try to do a retro live blog of the NBA draft since I couldn't watch it myself, but I just couldn't do it.  I already knew what happened.  It's kind of like tivoing a Gopher basketball game, finding out the lost by 10, and then watching it anyway.  You just wouldn't do that, because the fun of watching sports is watching an event with an uncertain outcome in which you are emotionally invested in the result.  Knowing what happens and then watching is stupid.  I know there are people who would tivo a game and then watch it even if they know the end result already.  Those people are psychopaths.
 

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Minnesota Timberwolves.  I think they'd have been better off using #20 by either keeping Motiejunas or grabbing Marshon Brooks (or trading it for a veteran SG or C - Brad Miller is retiring) but I can be talked into Kahn's madness because #1 - it's fun and #2 - they did get a future 1st.  The real reason I'm going to praise the mad man here is because, despite himself, he did the right thing and picked Derrick Williams - and kept him (at least thus far).  In my opinion Irving is the surest thing - his downside is probably a long-time starter - but I think Williams has the most upside in the draft.  I suppose this belongs in the back-handed insult department, but kudos to Kahn for not outsmarting himself even though it became abundantly clear he wanted to.  So hurray for competence, accidental or otherwise.

2.  JaJuan Johnson.  The awesome thing for him is that he managed to get himself drafted in the first round, so like, congrats.  What I'm really fascinated about, however, is that the player Snake and I have been calling "College KG" for four years because his skill set was so similar to KG (and Hakim Warrick, FYI) will now be playing with the real KG.  I'd say he couldn't find himself in a better situation with the perfect player to pattern himself after on the same team, but the word "mentor" doesn't exactly come to mind when you think about Garnett.  How is he going to react to a young, new player showing up who has the same game KG himself had 15 years ago?  Fights?  Verbal assaults?  Undermining his confidence?  Or maybe he'll actually see an opportunity to sort of live on after he retires by doing everything he can do help Johnson.  I doubt it, and I'm thinking more of the pushing and yelling is likely, but I'm totally fascinated here.  I've never watched Hard Knocks or whatever, but if they did a show like that on the Celtics this year I would totally watch.  And just fast forward to the KG/JJ parts.

3.  Evan Longoria.  Big sexy is back, in case you missed him.  Longoria struggled so far this year after returning from injury, but he finally broke out this week.  Well, maybe not a total breakout, but in his last four games he has two 2-HR games, including Sunday's game against the Astros where he went 4-6 and missed he cycle by a triple.  Interestingly enough, this little hot streak has started ever since Longo dropped the batting gloves which reminds me of this dude I played amateur baseball with.  See, I hit with no batting gloves because I like to feel the wood (insert your own joke here).  Snacks played on the team too, and he liked to wear eye black because it was the most effective way for him to keep the sun out of his eyes in the outfield.  We had another guy who used a ton of pine tar, another guy who wore two big wristbands around his forearms, and another guy who wore his hat slightly cocked to the left.  All these things were done because they worked for people.  But then we had this one little weiner dork on on our team who did all of them - no batting gloves, eye black, pine tar, wrist bands, and hat cocked.  God he was such a little idiot, and he sucked too.  This really has nothing to do with Evan Longoria any more.  

4.  J.J. Hardy.  Well the Twins didn't need him now did they?  While the revolving door of Tolbert/Casilla/Nishioka/Plouffe has put up a combined .225 batting average and a whopping .339 slugging, Hardy hit as many home runs this past week (3) as Twins' shortstop have all year.  He also has multiple hits in 6 of his last 7 games, and for the season has the 4th highest average of all MLB shortstops (.304), the second-highest OBP (.369), the highest slugging (.538), the highest OPS (.907), and the fourth most homers despite only playing in slightly more than half the team's games.  Basically he'd be the best hitter on the Twins:  only Kubel has a a higher average and he'd lead the team in both on-base and slugging and be tied with Cuddy for the HR lead at 10.  Meanwhile Jim Hoey's averaged more than 2 base-runners allowed per inning in his 17 shitty innings.  I hate you, Bill Smith.

5.  Justin Verlander.  I think he's a cyborg of some kind, sent from the future to rescue major league baseball from crappy, wussy pitchers who both suck and are marshmallow soft.  Him and Roy Halladay (and maybe a couple of others) are just a completely different species.  I've always wondered what would happen if Gardy was managing Verlander.  Say it's the bottom of the 7th and the Twins were up 2-0, Verlander is at 98 pitches and just gave up back-to-back singles with Mijares warm in the bullpen.  When Gardy goes out there to try to get the ball from him do you think they would actually get in a fist fight?  Is there any way we can make this happen?


WHO SUCKED

1.  Minnesota Twins.  Well it's over.  I hope you didn't get sucked into believing this team actually had the ability to turn around that 13-29 start or whatever it was.  I know the weak division and sliding Indians and everything made things look possible, but all you had to do was keep looking at that lineup.  50% of that lineup every game should be hitting ninth, which, based on the rules of baseball as set down by the great Abner Doubleday, is illegal.  I know injuries have played a huge part of it - the team only has four guys who have enough plate appearances to qualify for the batting title for christ's sake - but there were some pretty bad decisions made this offseason.   Specifically not looking for a viable back-up catcher when you know your starter is a china doll who only plays 2 out of every 3 games when he is healthy, deciding, "yeah, we'll go to war with Alexi Casilla as an everyday regular even though he's failed year after year after year" and not getting someone, anyone, to be insurance in case Morneau wasn't ready.  The season was set-up to be a  high-wire toward success, and the team tipped over and has gone splat on the city street below.  When you dig yourself a hole you can't weather a 5-game losing streak.  2 or 3, yeah.  Five?  It's over. 

2.  Sacramento Kings.  Let me get this straight.  First, the Kings trade the only guy on their roster who ever considers passing for John Salmons, a gunning ballsink with an absolutely enormous contract and the right to move down in the draft.  Then they usually their newly acquired 10th pick to draft Jimmer Fredette so they can team him up with Tyreke Evans in their back court.   This means their two starting guards both need the ball in their hands at all times and are both shoot first kind of guys, and their first man of the bench shoots the ball every time he touches it.  I think the two second round picks they made in Tyler Honeycutt and Captain Circus Ball himself were solid, but that can't over shadow this insane roster.  Fredette, Evans, Salmons, and DeMarcus Cousins?  Is anybody ever going to pass the ball?  And how quickly do you think Jimmer asks for a trade, before or after he's threatened with bodily harm by Cousins and/or Evans?

3.  Adam Dunn.  I'm going to admit that I was terrified when the White Sox signed Dunn.  Since he basically only hits homers, walks, or strikes out and the Twins' pitchers don't walk or strike out anyone I figured he basically just stand at home plate and hit tape measure home runs all day.  Turns out, however, the he's decided to completely suck instead.  This entire week he managed all of 2 hits (which both came in a game where he got 7 at-bats) and struck out 14 times.  14 times in one week!  I'm not a guy who looks at strikeouts as a huge negative, especially when balanced out with power, but holy crap that's ridiculous, especially when he's now struck out in his last seven consecutive at-bats and is now hitting .179 on the year with an OPS nearly identical to Luke Hughes.  Of course, it's still higher than Justin Morneau's so there's that. Plus Morneau is a huge girl.

4.   Madison Bumgarner.  It already feels like it happened 100 years ago, but you remember Captain Stripper Name's game against the Twins, don't you?  Let me refresh you:  single, double, single, double, single, double, single, double, strikeout, double, gone.  1/3 ip, 9 hits, 8 runs allowed.  Now  he did bounce back with a good game last night against Cleveland, but I feel like when you get shredded in such an epic way these things need to be mentioned whenever possible.  Especially when the team that shredded you ranks in the bottom 7 of all of MLB in runs scored, batting average, OBP, slugging, and OPS.  God what a fun year this has been.  I'm going to become a Lynx fan.


Just kidding.

5.   All the idiots who shouldn't have entered the NBA Draft.  There are always plenty of idiots who get bad advice and/or have an overinflated ego who go into the NBA Draft despite everyone knowing they have no chance of getting drafted or maybe a slight prayer at getting snagged in the second round except for them.  Some of those geniuses this year include Terrence Jennings of Louisville, who could have been a major player in the Big East next year, Jereme Richmond of Illinois who had a ton of potential but didn't bother to let it develop, Willie Reed of St. Louis who never had a prayer, Josh Selby of Kansas, who did get picked in the late second but probably could have been a lotto pick in a year or two, and Jordan Williams of Maryland, who was also picked in the late second but, like Selby, could have ended up a lottery pick in another year or two.  Well done, gentlemen.  Well done.  All of you will be awarded an Anderson Hunt Memorial Award for terrible draft decisions.


I finally started watching Game of Thrones.  Best show on TV, and it's not even close.  If you don't have HBO do yourself a favor and order it, download all the Game of Thrones episodes on HBO on Demand, watch them, realize how good this show is and how you've been wasting your time, and then cancel HBO after a month.  Brilliant.

Weekend Review - 8/9/2010

 Most important news from this weekend is that I beat New Super Mario Brothers on the Wii.  What up, Bowser?

Jesus.  Will you look at that monster.  I'm like some kind of god damn hero.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Adam Wainwright.  It's officially time to start recognizing Adam Wainwright as one of the best pitchers in baseball.  I mean, I know people who know ball know how good he is, and he's pretty much universally hailed as having the best curveball in MLB, but you never really hear him mentioned when the best pitchers come up.  Wainwright tossed a complete game, 2-hit shutout Friday night, bringing his season numbers to a 2.07 ERA and 1.00 WHIP, to go along with a 16-6 record.  He's now second in ERA in the NL (behind Josh Johnson), second in WHIP (behind Mat Latos), second in Wins (behind Ubaldo), and third in strikeouts (behind Lincecum and Halladay).  That is a hell of a season. 

Maybe the most impressive thing though is in his six seasons so far, Wainwright has a career ERA of just 2.94.  Only 6 pitchers since 1980 have made at least 110 starts in their first six years and had an ERA of under 3.00:  Dwight Gooden, Orel Hershiser, Fernando Valenzuela, Tim Lincecum, Pedro Martinez, and Wainwright.  Not bad at all.

2.  Adam Dunn.  This is exactly why I was praying the White Sox wouldn't get Dunn - he can destroy a ballgame all by himself.  Friday night Dunn hit two 3-run homers off the Dodgers' Clayton Kershaw, one in the first and one in the third, to drive in all six National runs in a 6-3 win (they walked him in two of last three PAs - I bet you can guess what the outcome was in the other one - a perfect 3-true outcomes nigiht.)  Remember in game 163 two years ago, when you just knew Thome was going to be the guy who broke your heart?  That's what Dunn would have been on Chicago, they would have been half defeated before the game even started just knowing he was there.  Or at least I would have been.

3.  J.P. Arencibia.  With Matt Wieters currently worse than Drew Butera and Carlos Santana now out of the season I need a new young catcher to fixate on.  Oh, hello, Jonathan Paul Arencibia (I have to admit, I thought that J.P. was going to stand for something a lot cooler and ethnic-y.  This is just like finding out A.C. stood for Albert Clifford).  Hell of a debut for the highly touted rook, going 4-5 with 2 home runs and a double on Saturday.  Then, in a totally logical move, they sat him on Sunday for Jose Molina, who is 35 years old and has solidly proven himself to be mediocre in every way.  Leave it to the Canadians to eff up a good thing.  No wonder Chris Bosh left.

4.  Brandon Morrow.  I don't think anybody ever doubted Morrow's talent.  He was a monster prospect for Seattle a few years ago, but was never able to put it together at the big league level.  They tried him as a starter, and he really struggled with his control (66 ks and 50 walks in 63 innings) as a rookie.  So they moved him to the pen and tried to make him their closer which went ok, and then moved him back to starter where his control fell apart again (63 k/44 bb in 69 innings), finally giving up and sending him to Toronto for Brandon League and a minor leaguer. 

He finally put it all together for the Jays on Sunday, throwing 8 2/3 innings before allowing a hit, finishing with a complete game1-hit shutout while striking out 17.  According to Game Score, which I outlined in this post, he scored a 100 for the game, and ties it for the fourth best game in history behind Kerry Wood's 1-hit, 20-k masterpiece, a Nolan Ryan no-hitter with 16ks, and a Sandy Koufax no-no with 14 k's.  That is pretty damn good.  And since he threw 137 pitches, you can expect him to get shelled his next time out.

5.  Jason Repko.  Gotta say, I think I'm liking this guy.  He only played in one game this weekend and went just 1-4, so perhaps this isn't the ideal weekend to highlight him, but I can't help it - I just recently decided I like him.  He's now hitting .314/.386/.608 this season with three home runs in 51 at-bats.  That slugging percentage, by the way, is higher every Twin on the roster except for Justin Morneau, and is just .010 behind the guy with the broken head. 

Repko has some pedigree, too.  He was a first round pick of the Dodgers way back in 1999, but injuries and a pull-dependent swing kept him buried in the minors until 2005.  That year he got 301 PAs, but batted just .221/.281/.384, saw his PAs cut in half in 2006, and then missed all of 2007 with a torn hamstring suffered in a spring training collision with Rafael Furcal.  In 2008 and 2009 he played again in AAA for the Dodgers, putting up a combined line of .281/.341/.459 with 28 homers in 231 games but never got the call up, and was then outright released by Los Angeles, and signed 6 days later by the Twins.  He looks like a very promising fourth outfielder with some upside.  Excellent pickup.


WHO SUCKED


1.  Francisco Liriano.  Double-U.  Tee.  Eff?  This is not what is supposed to happen.  Just as we're all happy and giddy and have boners because Baker and Slowey came to play, Franky - our hero, our light, our Obi-Wan, sucks against the triple-A team some call Cleveland.  Ok, yes, I'll admit that a good chunk of the hits he allowed could have been outs if they hadn't been precisely placed, but it's still disappointing to watch that kind of outing from our ace.  Go ahead and leave out the hits, but six walks in just 4 and 2/3 innings and a 61-48 strike-to-ball ratio isn't going to get it done.  It's just one bad outing in what has been a brilliant season thus far, but that looked an awful lot like last year's Liriano.  No thanks. 

2.  Tiger Woods.  I know already mentioned his worst-ever round at Firestone on Thursday in an earlier post this week, but it's impossible to ignore that he followed that up with a 72, 75, and 77 over the weekend to finish a combined +18 for the tournament, landing him in 78th place out of 80 finishers.  It was the worst tournament he's played in his career outside of the handful where he missed the cut, and the fact that it comes at Firestone, a course he has absolutely dominated in his career, should set off every warning siren that there is for him right now.  If I was going to give Tiger advice, and I am, it would be to shut it down for the year.  Skip the PGA since your game isn't in shape to contend anyway and go with whoever your current swing coach is and get this figured out, because we could be heading for David Duval or Joe Charboneau territory here. 

3.  Almost everyone else at the Bridgestone.  Lest you think Tiger Woods was the only one who crashed and burned, I must point out that there was an unusually high amount of terrible golf from great players this weekend, especially since the Bridgestone is a World Golf Championship event (second tier to the majors).  Woods' 77 wasn't the worst of the day because Phil Mickelson, who started the day in contention and had a chance to move from the #2 rated golfer to the #1 if he finished fourth or better, shot a 78.  The #3 golfer in the world, Lee Westwood, who could also have moved to #1 in certain scenarios, shot 71-76 and then withdrew.  And finally, the golfer who has overall played the best this year Ernie Els, started the day just two shots back and promptly shot 76 to drop all the way to 22nd.  And all this on the same day when 31 golfers managed to shoot par or better.  Weird stuff.  

4.  Chicago White Sox.  Not that I don't like it, because I do and hope it continues, but you can't win a division, even a shitty one like the AL Central, if you're going to lose two of three to the Orioles.  Their pitching is still retardedly good, with the O's only scoring 8 runs in the three games, but the Sox only scored 8 as well, and are now just a loss tonight away from coming into the big series against the Twins with the teams tied for first.  It'll be Edwin Jackson vs. Brian Matusz tonight, so it will probably be a 10-8 game, and then it's showdown time.  The pitching breaks out as:  Freddy Garcia vs. Scott Baker, John Danks vs. whoever fills in for Kevin Slowey, and Gavin Floyd vs. Liriano.  I would give the Twins a slight advantage in two of the three games, so it's very possible they leave Chicago in first place.  Or the Sox sweep and we just shut it down.

5.  Matt Kemp.  I was watching some of the Dodger/Nationals game (I have no idea why) and saw Kemp strike out and heard the L.A. crowd boo.  Knowing that in general Los Angeles fans are pretty laid back, I decided to look into why.  Turns out that was his fourth strikeout of the game (in four at-bats), which made him 0-10 for the weekend.  Truly sucktastic.  But beyond that, his stats have completely fallen off quite a bit from last year when he finished 10th in the NL MVP voting.  His average is down, his OBP is down, his slugging is down, and his strikeouts are up.  His OPS+ has fallen from 125 to 109, which is almost exactly like going from Michael Cuddyer last year to Michael Cuddyer this year, except Kemp can run and can field.  So the real lesson here is that we should all be booing Cuddy every time he's up.       


By the way, I've officially talked myself into Chip Armelin, the newest Gopher hoopster, coming to a campus near you September 1.  I put most of my thoughts in a post over the weekend, which you can either scroll down to read or if that's too much work just click here, but after meditating on this for a while I am getting a good feeling.  He's a great athlete who can shoot and handle the ball - what's not to like?  There are even explanations for why he wasn't recruited all that heavily (the football thing), and it's not like he was terrible - three time second-team All-State player and a McDonald's All-American Nominee (one of 30 in Louisiana, but still).  I'm officially on the Chip Armelin bandwagon.  Join me now, before everyone arrives.  And let's hope this doesn't turn into Rico Tucker part II.

Stay tuned.  I think you're going to get some Gopher stuff this week.  No promises of course, but let's say 80% likely.

Six Very Important Things this Morning 8.4.2010

1. Looks like somebody's sick of not being the lead on Sportscenter.  You are no doubt aware of this already, but the Pete Rose of football, Brett Favre, decided to make his retirement/non-retirement a story again, this time texting teammates the phrase "this is it" which somehow has been taken to mean he is retiring, despite the fact that I can think of a million other things that phrase could be referring to.  Of course, this is the kind of thing you'd think could be easily clarified with a statement, but naturally Debbie Drama has kept silent on the issue.

It's freaking unbelievable.  Every year.  There were times I thought it might be a media obsession that created this circus every year, but it really is Favre.  He completely creates this every where he goes.  He's not the down home of the farm good ole boy, he's Paris Hilton.  Seriously he makes Lindsay Lohan look shy and Spencer Pratt look media savvy.  I'm ready to say good riddance to Captain Look-at-Me.  Except that with him they are a Super Bowl contender, without they are a borderline playoff team, so I'll put up with it and then welcome him back with open arms.  Oh my god I think I have battered wife syndrome.

2.  Well Matt Guerrier certainly lit that candle, didn't he?  I know I overreact to every loss.  I admit it, and if I continue to write daily you'll see it as I write about each Twins game, but isn't it disheartening to see them just fail against good teams again and again?  I mean, they had opportunity after opportunity to take control of that game and let them all pass by.  When they finally manage to tie the game on a big and unlikely HR by Butera, Guerrier comes in and gives us one of the ugliest relief outings you'll ever see to give the game away.  I'm not suggesting they can't win the division, being just 1.5 back of a very flawed Chicago teams means you're just another streak away from first, and they have the schedule where they could do it, but I am suggesting they have no shot in the playoffs to do anything other than fade away.  Again.

When Morneau is back things could change, he's that good, but day by day this thing gets curiouser and curiouser.  Perhaps most telling is the fact that Morneau seems to have gone into hiding.  Maybe he has a huge lump on his head and he's embarrassed.  Maybe he actually had an eyeball fall out when he got kneed.  Or maybe things are really, truly bad up in his noggin.  Like, really bad.  I certainly hope not, because that would be a tragedy not just in the sports world but in the world world as well, but the comparisons to what happened to Corey Koskie are feeling more and more disturbingly apt. 

3.  I should probably update you on this.  Since I talked yesterday about super phenom Carlos Santana getting run over at the plate and destroying his leg the day after I traded for him, you will probably be happy to hear the news that it ended up being just a knee sprain and Santana is now on the 15-day disabled list.  Based on how bad that play looked, this is beyond good news for the Indians.  Now he should be able to be back in time to shred Twins' pitching and knock them out of the playoffs.

4.  What year is this, 2003?  The Boston Celtics are about to sign Shaquille O'Neal.  Seriously.  You would have thought it near impossible for this team to get older, but it looks like they have done it.  Seriously though, they easily have the best team of 2003.  KG finished second in the MVP voting with Shaq finishing fifth and both were All-NBA first teamers and on the all-defensive team.  Paul Pierce was third team All-NBA and was 13th in MVP balloting, with Jermaine O'Neal joining him on that all-NBA third team.  Ray Allen was merely an all-star and won the Sportsmanship Award (wait, the what?).  All they need to do is fill out their roster with the available Tracy McGrady (4th in MVP voting) and Allen Iverson (6th) and they would dominate.  All they'd need is a time machine.  Or a Hot Tub and an illegal Russian energy drink.  Or even a Delorean and some plutonium.   1.21 Gigawatts!

5.  Suck it, Chicago.  When the White Sox were unable to consummate an Adam Dunn deal, despite committing self-rape in acquiring Edwin Jackson, their hope was that he would slip through waivers and they could claim him, at which point they could then work out a trade to acquire the services of the big donkey.  The Nationals didn't waste any time according to reports, putting Dunn on waivers today, however it doesn't look like Chicago will get a crack at him.  According to analysts there's is essentially no way Dunn will slip past both the Rockies and Giants, and since a waived player has to pass through his own league before the teams in the other get a chance, it looks like the Sox will just have to sit there with a limp wiener, the saddest kind of wiener.  (and if you aren't a nerd like me and don't quite understand all this waiver stuff, here is a very excellent primer from excellent Twins' blog Twinkie Town). 

6.  Maybe this is why Favre is retiring again.  According to reports, Donkey Kong Sue will sign with the Lions at some point today, putting his name to a contract worth $60 million over five years, with $40 million of that guaranteed.  Nice.  He did miss four days of practice and whoever the Lions new coach is (Jim Schwartz is his name.  Seriously.  Just go with Jim Shorts already) is all twisted up about the "missed opportunities" or whatever.  Relax Mr. Shorts, I think he'll be ok.  As noted poet and wordsmith Allen Iverson once said, "I know it’s important, I honestly do but we’re talking about practice. We’re talking about practice man. We’re talking about practice. We’re talking about practice. We’re not talking about the game. We’re talking about practice."  Preach on, brother!

Week in Review - 7/12/2010

Crap.  Really, really wanted the Twins to get Cliff Lee, but you can't fault them.  The Rangers have one of, if not the, best and deepest minor league systems and they weren't afraid to open up the wallet, so to speak, to get Cliff Lee.

Justin Smoak has a chance to be a future star (although this is a pretty fantastic post from Baseball Time in Arlington explaining why he won't be), Blake Beavan doesn't make any top 100 lists put is a former first round pick who is putting up excellent minor league numbers, and the two "throw-ins" look alright as well.  Josh Lueke looks like a decent relief prospect with a 2.11 ERA in 32 appearances this year between A and AA (and a rape charge on his record to boot), and Matthew Lawson is putting up solid numbers as a second basemen at AA.


This was an offer that I don't think the Twins could have matched, even if they had tried.  And so it's time to look towards plan B, assuming they aren't giving up on the season although they probably should.  There are other options (Dan Haren, Roy Oswalt, Ben Sheets, Ted Lilly, etc.) which I plan to break down later this week.  Maybe.  No promises.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  John Danks.  On top of the Twins losing out on Cliff Lee, I'm getting a very, very bad feeling about the White Sox, capped off by Danksy tossing a ridiculous two-hitter against the Angels, which was extremely fortunate because Ervin Santana threw a three hitter at the same time but happened to give up a run.  And they just keep winning like that - they're pitching is completely ridiculous.  Hell, Gavin Floyd was another name considered for the Awesome column thanks to his 15 innings pitched and 2 runs allowed this week.  Their pitching is out of this world good right now, and pitching wins championships as everybody knows.  Even with Peavy now down for the year they're going to fine because the clown they called up to take his place looked just fine and dandy on Sunday.  Do you want to know the last time the Sox gave up five runs or more since June 9th (the beginning of their incredible run)  Five.  The Twins in that same time frame?  19.  I'm calling it now, Sox win the division, Twins finish fourth.

2.  Adam Dunn.  Speaking of the White Sox freaking me out with their looking goodness, I am convinced they are going to end up with Adam Dunn.  The same Adam Dunn who is currently destroying pitchers' arms (and souls).  Well, maybe not consistently doing it, but when he is on he just crushes souls.  Such as on Wednesday when he went 3-4 with three home runs, driving in 5 of the team's 7 runs in a one-run victory of San Diego, or on Friday when he went 3-4 with two home runs and 3 RBI.  Of course, he went 1-9 with seven strikeouts in the three other games this week, but who cares?  The Twins are stuck with guys like Cuddyer who will go 1-9 with seven strikeouts in three games and not even bother giving you a single multi-home run game, let alone two.  I love watching this Big Donkey hit, but I'm going to hate watching him tee off on Baker, Blackburn, and Slowey when he's on the Sox.  Seriously, can you even imagine?

3.  Buster Posey.  If we're talking guys who are tearing the cover off the ball, this guy is absolutely on fire, only it's some kind of fire never been seen before.  He had a hit in every game this week, and games where he went 4-4 with 2 homers and 6 RBI, 4-5 with a double and a home run, 2-4 with a HR (twice), and 1-3 with a triple and 2 RBI.  For the week he hit .566 with those 5 home runs and 14 RBI, and is now at .350/.389/.569 with 7 home runs in just 137 at-bats, and has pretty much single-handedly taken the Giants from a team with good pitching to a team with good pitching and one good hitter (ok, fine, three).  I'm still expecting them to fade as the season continues on, but Posey is fun as hell to watch, either way.  Just think how bad it would suck to have him on your fantasy team and sitting on the bench, like a guy I know. 

4.  Travis Wood.  Because the Reds don't already have enough good, young arms, Wood went out and in his third ever professional start threw 8 perfect innings against the Phillies.  He gave up a double in the ninth to break it up, but ending up getting threw 9 with just 1 hit allowed vs. 8 strikeouts.  Of course, Roy Halladay matched him with 9 shutout innings so he didn't get the win, but even so, quite the nice outing.  So now they have Wood, rookie-of-the-year candidate Mike Leake, coming-into-his-own Johnny Cueto, cuban sensation Aroldis Chapman, impressive in his debut Matt Maloney, stud if he can return from injury Edinson Volquez, and killer stuff if he can figure out how to stay healthy Homer Bailey.  And I would trade any single Twins' pitcher for any one of them.

5.  Steve Stricker.  Yes, I know it was the John Deere Classic and I know nobody cares about that, and I know Stricker was the best player in this week's field by far, but the way he demolished that course was pretty incredible.  Every hole was the same:  middle of the fairway - approach to within 10 feet - make putt, on his way to a 60-66-62-70, which probably would have been even more impressive if he hadn't had a six shot lead into Sunday and gone into coast mode, resulting in tournament total of 26 under par and a 2-shot victory over Paul Goydos, who also played incredibly over the weekend, four shots clear of third place Jeff Maggert, but was just out-incredibled by Stricker.  Normally I'd say play like that would make him a favorite for the next major, but this time the next major is the British Open and all the normal rules of good golf go right out the window.  I do know who is going to win, by the way.  Well, I have it narrowed to two.  Stay tuned.


WHO SUCKED

1.  Twins.  Forget Cliff Lee, maybe it's time to just become sellers?  Pavano could probably bring back a prospect or two from the other teams that missed out on Cliff Lee.  I'm sure somebody would be willing to take on a year and a half of Cuddyer's contract for a stretch run here.  If they don't think J.J. Hardy is the long-term answer he'd probably be tradeable, along with O-Hud.  Jesse Crain might have a little bit of value.  Jim Thome could help somebody out.  There a ton of options, which they should consider because it's obvious this team completely sucks.  There are only three guys on this team who can hit, and one has a headache, one is apparently so immobile he couldn't even fill in at first base for one game, and the other one couldn't run a 20-yard dash in under 5 seconds, let alone a 40.  None of the starters can pitch, the two most important relievers have below average stuff, and the manager is a moron.  God I hate this team so much. 

2.  LA Clippers.  A lot of teams have been clearing cap room with an eye on this offseason for several years, and with the top 3 prizes all picking the Heat, naturally some teams are going to end up disappointed.  The Bulls made a ton of moves with the sole purpose of clearing space, but at least grabbed Carlos Boozer.  The Knicks were obviously hoping for LeBron, but getting Amar'e Stoudamire softens that blow.  The Hawks were maybe the biggest winner, managing to get Joe Johnson to stay with them (Pierce and Nowitzki were never leaving.)  The Nets whiffed big-time, but have responded by signing quality pieces Anthony Morrow, Johan Petro, and Travis Outlaw and still have $19 million left and are looking like a front-runner for Udonis Haslem - not to mention they picked up Derrick Favors already this offseason.  The Clip show, on the other hand, drafted auto-bust Al-Farouq Aminu and then threw $20 million at Randy freakin' Foye and Ryan Gomes.  And then they signed Brian Cook, too, which I'm sure is what will put them over the top.  Look out Lakers. 

3.  Kevin Millwood.  All Millwood had to do was pitch halfway decent this year, wait for the trade deadline to come around, and get traded to a contender of his choosing thanks to his being a free agent next year and a limited no-trade clause in his contract.  Instead, he's completely sucked, racking up an ERA of 5.77 while losing nearly every game he's pitched.  So then he trots out there on Monday against the Tigers, gets destroyed in his one inning of work for four hits and five runs, gets yanked, and then got placed on the disabled list with a "strained forearm."  Yeah, I'm sure that's it.  It has nothing at all to do with the fact that he hasn't pitched a good game since May.  You know what Millwood is perfect for now?  He'd be perfect as the kind of guy the Twins will trade for.

4.  Brandon League.  The only reason I've even heard of this guy is because I heard on the radio that if the Twins had actually offered both Ramos, Hicks, and one of the starters for Cliff Lee, they might ask for League back to help in the bullpen as well.  Ha ha.  Or maybe the real secret was the Mariners wanted to get of League, because this week he gave up as many runs as outs he recorded (5 to 5), including a game against the Royals on Wednesday where he came in with a 3-2 lead in the 8th, walked David DeJesus and Billy Butler, and then gave up a three-run homer to Alberto Callaspo, and then was yanked.  Actually, come to think of it, he'd pretty much fit in perfectly as a Twin.  

5.  John Wall.  I got most of the first quarter of the Wizards' first summer league game against the Warriors, and I saw Wall turn it over four times (he finished the game with 8), including an easy pass to a wide open dude in the corner which he turned unnecessarily into a no-look pass before whipping into the corner with Nuke LaLoosh-like accuracy.  I also saw him take an open 18-footer from straight on which hit all backboard, and a three-pointer which barely grazed front rim.  Not to mention getting called for a foul on the perimeter trying to check noted offensive star Brian Chase (note:  I have no idea who this is).  It's now clear to me that we are heading for a bust of epic proportions here, the likes of which we haven't seen since Ryan Leaf or Dennis Hopson.  I'm talking like, the kind of bust that Stephen Curry would have been if he had been drafted by a team other than Golden State.    


This was an odd week, with lots of worthy people I couldn't find room for in the Awesome section.  So honorable mentions to:

Spain, Cole Hamels, Roy Halladay, Matt Garza, Michael Beasley/David Kahn, Joey Votto, Roy Halladay, Chris Tillman, Devin Ebanks, Derrick Caracter, Diego Forlan, Huston Street, Bronson Arroyo, Johan Santana, Nick Markakis, Magnum Rolle, Madison Bumgarner, Max Scherzer, A-Rod, Lance Stephenson, Roy Oswalt, Stephen Strasburg, and, of course

BIEBER FEVER!

Weekend Review

Since I can’t possibly write about the stupid Gophers stupid basketball team right now, I’m just going to skip it. I hope they lose in the first round and end up going to the NIT. A team that finished the season out the way they did not only doesn’t deserve to go to the NCAA tournament, but also would most likely get absolutely embarrassed. I would hate to lose Royce and/or Rodney after seeing the Gophers get beat by 40 against like, Boston College in the first round. Ugh. Let’s just move on before I jump out a window.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1. The Netherlands. I’m not going to sit here and pretend to be some fancy scientist who actually knows where the Netherlands are, but I know a pretty huge baseball win when I see one, and the they picked one up this weekend by beating the Dominican Republic in the World Baseball Classic. The Dutch, which is what you call people from the Netherlands, which is also called Holland (really, three names?), are not exactly a baseball powerhouse, with just Sidney Ponson as a recognizable name and just one other major league player (pitcher Rick VandenHurk, who didn’t even play in the game).

It didn’t matter on Saturday though, as Ponson started and pitched ok, giving up two runs in four innings, but then four relievers with zero big league experience – including Twins minor leaguer Alexander Smit who has pitched in 131 games and never risen above A ball and is the most experienced of the group in terms of the minors – shut down a lineup that included Hanley Ramirez, David Ortiz, Robinson Cano, Miguel Tejada, Jose Reyes, and Willy Aybar amongst several other big leaguers. With The Netherlands able to scratch out three unearned runs off Edinson Volquez in the first thanks to Ramirez’s throwing error, they held on for an improbable 3-2 victory, the biggest in the country’s history.

Bert Blyleven was the team’s pitching coach, so I’m assuming this win was all about him, and it’s very likely we’ll be hearing him bring it up over and over and over again on Twins’ broadcasts this season. But that’s ok, because it’s a huge win for the country, and they should be ecstatic. Plus it gives me an excuse to post those broads up above.

2. USA. If I'm talking World Baseball Classic, I can't possibly not talk about the US in their quest to redeem themselves after their 8th place finish in 2006. They are sitting at 2-0 after squeaking by Canada 6-5 on Saturday and following it up with a 15-6 crushing of Venezuela yesterday. Considering Canada and Venezuela are two of the top contenders this year, this is a very good start. The hero so far has probably been Three-True-Outcomes all star Adam Dunn, who in the two games is 3-4 with 4 walks, 3 rbi, 5 runs scored, and 2 homeruns. The team also isn't missing Joe Mauer much, as catchers Brian McCann and my guy Chris Iannetta have combined to hit 3-5 with 3 walks, 2 runs scored and 7 rbi. USA has already guaranteed their advancement to the second round starting Saturday, but still plays the winner of Canada and Italy on Wednesday. As for bad news, Chipper Jones had to leave yesterday's game with strain in his side, although I don't know how bad of news that really is since he's 0-7 with five strikeouts so far.

3. Texas A&M. In a year when most bubble teams seem to be doing everything they can to NOT get into the tournament, Gophers included, it’s nice to see a team like the Aggies actually take care of business. They went 2-0 this week to push their Big 12 record to 9-7 and a fourth place finish, and set themselves up to get a nice conference tournament victory with a matchup against Texas Tech. A&M has now won six in a row, none more impressive than Saturday’s 96-86 thrashing of #15 Missouri in a game that wasn’t even that close.

The Aggies have a very nice balance, with five players scoring between 9 and 14 points per game and have experienced guards. With their resume they might already be in, and a win over Tex Tech in the conference tournament would all but guarantee it, and they could upset somebody once they get there.

4. Auburn. So here’s a team that is so far off the radar I don’t think anybody has noticed them, but suddenly they have played their way into the NCAA conversation. The Tigers won a good SEC road game over Alabama earlier in the week, and then followed it up with a win over SEC top dog LSU 69-53 on Saturday. Auburn has won 8 of its last 9 games, and finished SEC play with a record of 10-6, good enough for second place in the SEC West. The RPI is awful (#72), thanks to a horrendous strength of schedule (non-conf SOS #202), and there is a lack of quality wins (outside the LSU win and a win over Tennessee there’s nothing here) so the Tigers still have a lot of work to do. Auburn has a pretty potent offense, and as weak as the SEC is this year they could easily win a couple of games. With 20+ overall wins, a 10-6 SEC record, and an appearance in the SEC tourney semifinals they might be pretty tough to keep out.

5. Radford, Cornell, Morehead State, East Tennessee State, and Northern Iowa. Welcome to the dance boys, welcome to the dance. Most well known for Gopher fans is probably Cornell, who got here winning the Ivy League’s regular season championship by three games over Yale. Cornell tested themselves this year, playing not only the Gophers, but Syracuse, Siena, and St Joe’s as well. Just one problem – they didn’t beat anybody, and also lost to Indiana. The Big Red will probably be a fourteen or fifteen seed, and have little chance of scoring an upset.

The best chance to get an upset out of this group is from Northern Iowa, who will probably be in the 13 range. I thought the Panthers weren’t very good and wouldn’t get through the Missouri Valley tournament, but they surprised me and outlasted a very good Illinois State team in overtime in the championship – the same Illinois State team that beat Creighton in the quarterfinal. I still don’t think they can pull any kind of upset (they lost to Marquette by 30 and Iowa by 20) but they have a better chance than any of the other teams that have advanced, who will all be 15 seeds at best with a shot at a play-in game.


WHO SUCKED (other than the Gophers)

1. Penn State. As awesome as their win over Illinois was on Thursday, the Nittany Lions completely undid that by dropping a game to Iowa on Saturday. It took double overtime for the Hawkeyes to kill the Penn State dreams, which tells me it was a tough game but which also tells me Penn State had chances to win and couldn’t get the job done.

They allowed Iowa to shoot 47% while they shot just 38% themselves, and were outrebounded 39-25. Looking at those numbers, they were pretty lucky to even be close to winning this game. Pringle and Battle had their shooting touch desert them once again, going just a combined 3-16 from three point land in this one.

It seems unthinkable that a team could go 10-8 in the Big Ten and not get into the big dance, but that’s what happens when you have such a soft non-conference schedule – particularly when you lose to the only two things resembling real teams (Rhode Island and Temple) on it. PSU’s non-conference strength of schedule is #303, and the best NC win they picked up was #118 Mount St. Mary’s, one of only two RPI top 200 teams they beat in the NC. Read that again. Save the MSM’s game and Sacred Heart at #180, they didn’t beat another team in the top 200 until Big Ten play. All that results in an RPI of 59, and when your fellow conference bubble teams have RPIs of 30 (Wisconsin), 32 (Minnesota), and 45 (Michigan) and have more marquee NC wins, you aren’t looking too good.

2. Maryland. Probably the poster child for bubble teams destroying themselves, the Terrapins have likely doomed themselves to the NIT with an 0-2 week. They lost a home game to Wake Forest that would have greatly helped their bubble chances, and then put their own nail in their own coffin by losing to ACC bottom dweller Virginia. The highly overrated Greivis Vasquez didn’t help, shooting a Stephen Curry-like 15-44 in the two games, including 3-14 from three. Vazquez started getting way too much press after his triple-double in the Terps’ upset of North Carolina, but if you look at the numbers he shoots just 43% from the floor and 32% from three, and turns it over almost three times a game. Even so, Maryland’s problems aren’t really his fault, since he has pretty much zero help. Although it’s probably due to those god awful yellow jerseys they’ve started wearing.

3. Cincinnati. Much like Maryland, the Bearcats managed to completely sabotage any hopes they had of getting into the tournament this week by losing to two bottom feeders in the league. They lost to South Florida on Wednesday 70-59 which probably knocked them off the bubble, but just in case there was any doubt they went ahead and removed it by losing at home to Seton Hall, 67-63. Their record in the conference dropped to 8-10, and with only a win over UNLV to point to in the non-conference season and an RPI of 63, they’ll need to win the Big East tournament to get in.

There is reason for optimism in Cincy, however, as the team played above their projections this year and are losing nothing except a walk-on going into next season (assuming Deonta Vaughn doesn’t do something stupid and try to go pro). Vaughn is their leading scorer and one of the top returning guards in the Big East. Junior Mike Williams (a transfer from Texas) gives Vaughn a nice inside compliment to his outside game. Freshman Yancy Gates was the #22 prospect on Rivals Top 150 and lived up to it, averaging 11 points and 6 rebounds per game this year. And the Bearcasts will get another talent infusion when two redshirt freshmen, point guard Cashmere Wright (the #82 prospect) and 7-1 center John Riek (the #13 center) start playing next season.

4. Davidson. Uh oh, looks like we’re going to have a big dance without it’s precious Cinderella, and I’m guessing there are a lot of “objective analysts” crying themselves to sleep after Davidson lost in the semifinals of the SoCon tournament 59-52 to Charleston. I wish I could say I was surprised, but Stephen Curry’s continual struggles this season against good teams (well documented here) I’m not. And, to continue the pattern, Curry struggled once again against a good team, not to take anything away from Charleston who did a great job. Super Stephen hit just 5 of 18 shots, including just 2-11 from three and put up just 3 assists to go with 3 turnovers. Granted, the rest of the team didn’t fare much better as they shot just 31% overall, but then again they aren’t supposed to – they haven’t been anointed the chosen one by ESPN and every other media type. Good luck in the NIT Curry, I’m sure you’ll rip right through it – at least the first few rounds while you get easy matchups.

5. Scarface. Yes, the movie. I hadn't seen it before and we watched this weekend and holy crap, how the hell does this movie continue to show up on Greatest Movies Ever lists? I'm guessing it's like a Citizen Kane kind of thing, where the movie was so groundbreaking at the time that even though it doesn't hold up anymore movie snobs continue to sing it's praises because of it's relevance when it was released.

First of all, at two hours and fifty minutes it's WAY too long. The only movies that were any good that are that long are the Lord of the Rings movies, and that's because I'm a retard for that kind of thing and I loved the books. Secondly, it's just plain boring. You wouldn't think a movie about a drug lord that involved chainsawing someones head off would be boring, but yet, here we are. I think the fact that this is the favorite movie of the rap/hip-hop culture backs up my point that it sucks. Take your three hours and rent two good movies instead. I'd rather spend three hours watching the Gophers.