Tuesday Talkers

I know, I know, everybody hates me.  It's been almost two weeks since my last post and I have no excuses.  Sometimes when you don't write you get in the habit of not writing and sometimes that feels good.  But there is an awful lot going on in the sports world, and I have opinions on some of it, so it's time to get back in that saddle and write not very informative, unfunny filler for you to read while you wait for your favorite message board to refresh with new messages.

-  So much NBA going on.  Lebron opts out.  Carmelo opts out.  Love trade speculation.  NBA draft.  It's actually really fun.  I'll try to write this in some kind of coherent narrative, but I make no promises.

To start, I can't believe the Warriors balked at the Love trade because they didn't want to trade Klay Thompson.  I like Thompson, and he's one of the top 2-guards in the league, but a lineup of Curry/Martin/Iguodala/Love/Bogut is a definite contender, more so than what they have now.  On the flip side, I would have been ok with the Wolves getting Thompson as the center piece of a deal.  He's the #2 guy in Golden State, but would have been #1 here and who knows if he would thrive or not, but it's possible.  Plus, assuming Flip is dead set on not bottoming out, a lineup of Rubio/Thompson/Barnes (if they got him too)/Lee/Pekovic could be a playoff team, and you're giving Barnes room to sink or swim rather than be stuck in a logjam at the wing position the Warriors had.  Personally I'd prefer bottoming out and grabbing as many picks as possible, and that's why things are getting more and more interesting.

Lebron opted out of his deal today, and with him and Carmelo both on the market teams are maneuvering like crazy to either clear cap space, build a roster that would look good to either/both of them, or both which means we could see some crazy trades and picks flying around before Thursday's draft.  One good way a team could entice either of them would be to have another Top 10 player on board (or more) and that makes Kevin Love that much more attractive.  Cleveland, or at least the media, seem to think there's a realistic chance Lebron might come home, and they have the pieces to put something together with that first overall pick, Dion Waiters (who by all accounts doesn't get along with Kyrie Irving), and Tristan Thompson.  The Bulls are in the mix as well, offering Tony Snell, Taj Gibson, and the #16 and #19 in the draft.  Plus the Celtics still have one million picks they can throw at the Wolves.  I think I'd prefer the Cavs trade to get the #1, then the Celtics, and then the Bulls.  If they trade with Chicago hopefully they package 2 or 3 of those picks to get closer to the top.

Of course, it all could be for nothing since I think it's mostly likely Lebron and the other two opt out and restructure their deals to reduce the cap number and get at least one more competent player in place.  Most likely that's the plan, but it's curious they didn't announce their opt outs at the same time.  Pay attention, because Dwyane Wade is poised to lose the most money if he opts out, so if he opts in then game on.  Until then I'd assume Lebron's back to the Heat.  Carmelo I'm guessing will be a Bull.

-  Speaking of the NBA draft, let's talk about the NBA draft.  I think your steals are going to be Noah Vonleh (criminally underutilized in college, freak athlete, great post-up game and good perimeter game for his size), Julius Randle (already an NBA ready rebounder with a good enough offensive game that should develop), Adreian Payne (already has the skills to be a stretch 4 and could eventually be an elite defender), Tyler Ennis (might not end up a big time scorer, but should be an excellent point guard for a long time), Cleanthony Early (could step in and start for most teams Day 1), and Jerami Grant (2nd round steal).  Busts look like Dante Exum (top 4 pick?  Please), Aaron Gordon (has absolutely zero skill beyond athleticism), Elfrid Payton (will get abused), Zach LaVine (another athlete light on game skills), Rodney Hood (disappeared way to many times) and Mitch McGary (no clue why anybody would take him first round).

It's hard to say who I'd want the Wolves to end up with since who knows what the roster will look like by time they pick (or after), but I'd go for either of the Michigan State guys at #13.  They could end up with Early and Grant in the 2nd round and that'd make me happy.  Should be a fun draft no matter what goes down.  I might even live blog this bad boy.  That way we have more proof of how stupid I am like when I said Kawhi Leonard would be terrible or when I said Stephen Curry would be terrible or when I said Xavier Henry would be a sleeper or when I said Earl Clark could be a star.

-  Man I enjoy the hell out of the World Cup.  Every four years I completely devour it, convince myself I'm going to become a soccer guy, watch 5 minutes of EPL, and then bail until the next World Cup.  The combination of the best in the World, the nation vs. nation thing, and the gambling make this such a fun time.  This year I also got into a WC pool to make every game more interesting, but I made the mistake of picking Spain to win the whole thing so I'm likely dead.  Sadly, I'm tied for second so far too.  Stupid la roja.  Obviously Brazil and Argentina remain the two big favorites, but I like Belgium to give it a hell of a run.  Don't sleep on Mexico, either, and Colombia's been a buzz saw.

Anyway, I won't pretend to actually know enough about soccer to really analyze that tying goal in the Portugal/USA game, but man, what a gut punch.  I mean, not really because as a Minnesota sports fan I was completely expecting it, but for fans of other sports teams that probably really hurt.  The friends of mine who really know soccer tell me I should be mad at Michael Bradley, so picture me shaking my fist and looking really mad right now.  Maybe swearing a little.

-  I owe one of the longest tenured and consistent readers of this stupid blog an apology - Dawger, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry I doubted Brian Dozier and your opinion of Brian Dozier.   I said he was garbage, you said he was good, and now I am firmly down on the side of good.  You were right, I was wrong.  You're smart, I'm dumb.  You're good looking, I am not attractive.

-  Basketball futures are out for the NCAA Champion, and you may recall that I advised you to take UCONN last year when they were 40-1 and advised taking Louisville two years ago when they were 15-1.  Yeah, I'm good.  This year my first recommendation is a team that offers significant value at 25-1 (I got them at 33-1).  Let's see:

• Significant post season run, albeit not in the NCAA Tournament?  Check.
• Strong regular season results?  Check.
• Nearly every single minute back from last season?  Check.
• Impact freshman coming in with a ranking that suggests he's a program changer?  Check.
• One of the top transfers coming in who will be immediately eligible?  Check.
• Outstanding guard play?  Check.
• Elite level head coach?  Check.

Figure it out?  That's right, the SMU Mustangs.  Take a team that won 27 games, finished third in the conference, beat UCONN twice, made the NIT final and basically has everyone back and add in the nation's top ranked incoming freshman in Emmanuel Mudiay and sharp-shooting transfer wing from Xavier Justin Martin and these team definitely has the pieces.  Plenty of questions such as how Mudiay and incumbent point guard Nic Moore mesh and if they have enough size, but at 25-1 it's a no brainer.

-  Jurassic Park 4:  Jurassic World.  It's real.  God I have such a boner.

-  I'm not going to update Gopher recruiting news or anything because it's still just way too up in the air, but know that there are a lot of balls in motion right now and I think in the last couple of weeks through the next couple weeks the Gophers are getting 5-6 visits (official and unofficial) from guys who I am pretty sure Pitino would take a verbal from immediately if he could get one.  I would really love to snag and early commitment this year.  Like tomorrow.

-  I saw Carlos Gomez was on the cover of Sports Illustrated recently.  Even though it kills me to see him be this good, let me rub a little salt in the womb:

1. Gomez's average of .312 ranks 13th in the majors.
2. Gomez's OBP of .377 ranks 22nd, whilie his SLG of .525 ranks 12th.  
3. That gives him an overall OPS of .902, which ranks 18th.
4. His batting alone gives him 18.2 runs above replacement so far this year, which ranks 14th.
5. He's also fast and a good base runner, which gives him another 1.5, and his defense is superb giving him another 1.7.  After a bunch of other league and position related factors he nets out at 31.7 runs above replacement which translates to 3.4 wins above replacement, which ranks 6th in the majors.
6. Yes, Carlos Gomez has become a tremendous all around player who, according to one metric, is the 6th most valuable in baseball.  
7. After the trade for J.J. Hardy (defensible) and then the trade away of Hardy (completely indefensible) the Twins ended up with half a season of Hardy and 24.2 innings of terrible relief (1.91 WHIP and 5.47 ERA) from Jim Hoey.  Gross.

-  Seriously though, you could make a pretty good team out of ex-Twins - better than usual even:

C - Wilson Ramos (.261/.314/.370)

1B - Justin Morneau (.298/.336/.509 with 12 HRs)

2B - Nick Punto (.230/.331/.294)

3B - Danny Valencia (.236/.291/.333 - ok so this isn't the team's strength)

SS - J.J. Hardy (.294/.321/.373)

OF - Carlos Gomez (.312/.377/.525 with 12 HRs and 11 SBs)

OF - Michael Cuddyer (.317/.366/.500 with 5 HRs)

OF - Torii Hunter (.266/.290/.441 with 9 HRs)

DH - David Ortiz (.255/.354/.478 with 17 HRs)

Ok I'm getting a little tired of looking up all these stats, but your rotation would be Francisco Liriano, Matt Garza, R.A. Dickey, and Kyle Lohse with the fifth starter being Kevin Slowey unless I think of somebody else.  The bullpen would be ok with Joe Nathan as the closer and a whole mess of guys like I know Pat Neshek is kicking ass this year.  Really, I mean, that's a pretty good team. Fill the obvious holes (C, 2b, 3b, fifth starter) with current Twins and make Joe Mauer catch again and you might really have something here.  And it really doesn't matter.

-  I suppose I could live blog this Twins game, but it's already 5-3 in the top of the second which means this things going way past my bedtime.  Adios muchachos.

4th Q, Game 7 Live Blog

I wasn't going to live blog this one because that shit is stressful, but then Boris Diaw hit a huge three and I had another drink and it's 72-71 Miami because Supernintendo hit a bank 3 at the buzzer there.  This is crazy basketball and, with only a minimal amount of hyperbole, this is why you watch sports.  Plus somebody said something nice about my Game 6 blog which I thought was sweet and made me feel important.

12:00 - I have a small bet on anybody but Lebron winning the MVP (which means I'm a Spurs fan), a smaller bet on Spurs +5.5, and a seething hatred of both Lebron and Lebron haters because let's face it the dude is completely awesome.  Money always breaks the tie, so I'm a Spurs fan first, and a Miami fan by less than 6 second.  Also, that banked three is going to be the difference in the title.  You watch.

11:32 - Battier hits his fifth three of the game.  The Heat might win another title while Battier plays hero?  Just fucking kill me.

11:08 - Manu on Lebron.  Uh oh.  James, like an idiot, takes a three and continues to work on building that homeless shelter with all those bricks so your mom and sister will have a place to sleep. 

10:28 - I really don't like where we're going with this.  Heat role players are starting to do a lot of good things, and all they're going to need is Lebron to take over in the end here.  With luck Wade and Bosh will screw it up like they have most of this series.  Come on Spo, put in Bosh!

10:07 - This is crazy but Lebron just got called for a foul and he totally doesn't think he should have been called for anything.  Stunning.

9:42 - If that god damn freak Birdman guy gets one more offensive rebound I'm going to sit here and bitch about it some more.  I DO NOT like the vibe right now.  77-73 Los Heat.

9:18 - Tony Parker's body is too fast for his mind right now.  Turning into a fumble machine.  I know it's cliched to make a french army joke when Tony Parker struggles in the clutch......so I won't do it.

8:40 - Ha ha Shane Battier missed and he's old and stupid and crappy and I heard his degree from Duke is in something gay like communications.

8:40 - Text from Snacks "I've decided I can't watch."  He does this all the time with the Gophers or if the Twins actually make the playoffs, but he seriously has no stake in this game.  Not a fan of either team, not a hater of either team (other than the Heat like everyone else but not, you know, like it was Wisconsin or anything), and no significant wagers.  What a weirdo.

8:34 - UPDATE:  Apparently he really, really hates the Heat after watching the ref bitching from Wade and Lebron all series.  Tough to argue with him here, other than the not watching thing.

7:45 - Danny Green and Mario Chalmers trade absolutely horrible three pointers that both miss.  I'd make an NBA Faaaaaaaaaaantastic joke but really it's actually been a pretty great series.  Also Danny Green really needs to stop doing anything that isn't shooting a spot up three pointer.

6:53 - Two biggest X-factors were Wade and Ginobili.  Wade has been outstanding.  Ginobilli just literally let the ball slip through his fingers and go out of bounds.  Luckily, Chris Bosh (0 points so far) just got called for an offensive foul prior to Ginobilli proving me wrong.  81-77 Heat.  Shane Battier is still a huge douche.

6:03 - Ginobili passes it straight out of bounds.  Dude is just completely out of control and it's not working.

5:37 - This Lone Ranger movie looks pretty awesome.

5:37 - Just kidding.

4:53 - I'm going to say right now that Duncan looks completely dialed in.  I think shits about to get real for Miami.  If they can keep scoring they'll win.  If they keep letting Bosh shoot the ball, they won't.  83-79 Heat.

4:04 - Danny Green has started believing in his own legend.  What a stupid shot.

3:27 - Why would you ever give the ball to an unstoppable Duncan against Bosh?  Effing Battier with another three.  Ballgame.

3:10 - Three point play by Duncan (told you).  88-85 Heat.  Time for a stop.  Probably want to make sure Splitter isn't in there, eh.

2:37 - Uh oh.

2:00 - Leonard with a huge three and it's a two point game. If the Heat are going to win can it at least be on another Ray Allen buzzer beater?  I might actually enjoy that.  A little.

1:35 - Supernintendo misses two free throws, Bosh somehow gets the offensive rebound, and then is stripped by Leonard.  Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.


1:30 - Lebron back on Parker.  Somebody else is going to have to do something.  Like absolutely brick an open three, Leonard.

1:06 - Wade stupidly keeps the ball the entire possession then bricks a jumper, Lebron gets a huge offensive board and finds your boyfriend Shane Battier for a wide open three pointer which he luckily misses, there's a battle for the board and the Spurs come up with it and there was so much happening so quickly I paused it and now that I look up I see Danny Green dribbling and I know this will not end well.

0:48 - Duncan misses an open chance to tie the game.  Wow.  That was it, right there.  That was it.  And he knows it.

0:28 - Lebron jumper puts Miami up 4.  Oof.  Duncan looks beaten already.  I feel a little tiny bit sick.  It's weird because I thought I always hated Tim Duncan but, well, here we are.

0:23 - Ginobili turnover basically ends it.  Fitting.  Congrats to all Yankee, Patriot, and Duke fans out there. You guys deserve this.

Game 6 Live Blog

Hey guys.  Since I can barely ever figure out anything to write about since the Gophers are in the offseason and the Twins suck (actually I have a Twins post in the hopper, should be up tomorrow) I'm going to just live blog Game 6 because hopefully their won't be a Game 7 because I've come to loathe Lebron James.  Go figure.  Also somebody once emailed me to tell me that these aren't really live blogs because the reader can't follow along in real time and they should be called running diaries.  He had a good point, so I tracked him to his house and beat him to death with a chainsaw.  Anyway, we're picking up the game here with 5:50 left in the first quarter, San Antonio up 18-16.

5:20 - Whoa you guys, so weird, but Lebron is bitching at the ref after fat Boris Diaw just went and scored right in his stupid face.  I can't believe I used to consider Tim Duncan a whiner.  He's like Barry Sanders compared to James, and Wade isn't much better. 

3:55 - I think I've figured out a big problem for the Heat.  Mike Miller and Ray Allen are their only good outside shooters, and neither one of them could guard your average player at the YMCA.  Or Boris Diaw, and that's now two more mentions of Diaw than I was expecting to make on this blog this decade.

2:28 - Problem #2 - the crowd just went nuts because Birdman checked in.  Of course they love the guy, he's white.  But he can't guard anybody on the Spurs - except maybe Splitter.  And Shane Battier just took a charge on one end and then banked in a three pointer on the other.  Some hate never dies.

0:53 - Danny Green missed.  That was weird.

2Q, 11:42 - Birdman dives for a loose ball on the ground.  So gritty.

11:00 - Defensive breakdown by Miami leaves Green wide open and he buries it.  It's so ridiculous.  I can't decide if this is on the players or Spoelstra, but it's pretty god damn embarrassing that he ever gets an open look.

9:20 - There isn't a lot of meat in these gym mats.  Also, Tiago Splitter is pretty terrible.

7:58 - Oh man this shit is crazy, but Dwyane Wade is now yelling at the ref about a "missed" call.  What are the odds?

6:56 - If I'm Spoelstra, I immediately bench anybody who passes to Chris Bosh.  And if I'm Popovich I give the ball to Duncan every single time Bosh is guarding him because he has no shot at stopping him.  I guess what I'm saying is, Chris Bosh is the Ron Weasley of this Big Three.

4:32 - Wade now passing up wide open 14 foot jumpers.  It's been surreal watching him in this series.  He's become Joe Coleman.  You know, in theory and all that, not for reals.

4:18 - Birdman saves the ball by diving into the crowd.  He's Puntonian.

2:47 - My wife was a redhead when I met her.  By the time I realized the truth, I was hooked and it was too late.  She's never dyed her hair that shade again.  That's bullshit, right?

1:23 - Jesus Chris Bosh is terrible.  Can't stop Duncan on the block, then misses a short jumper, followed by not hustling down the court and allowing a Tim Duncan uncontested dunk, then misses another jumper, then allows Diaw to come right at him and score.  So ugly.  All the other velociraptors out there must be so embarrassed.  Also, how horrible is it that the Toronto franchise named themselves after a trendy animal (extinct - allegedly) from a trendy movie?  I know the movie is still an all time great and probably one of my top 5 all-time (well, top 10) but it's still stupid.

0:00 - Spurs 50, Heat 44 thanks to a late run by San Antonio and Tim Duncan completely dominating Bosh.  Supernintendo Chalmers was the one who kept the Heat close in the first half, so well, that doesn't bode well for the Heat.

3Q, 11:38 - Ginobilli gives Ray Allen a quick jab step, Allen backs up about 8 feet, Ginobilli with the step back 3.  Allen can still shoot the lights out, but he seriously can't guard anybody.  I don't know what the answer is though, because nobody is very good on the Heat lately.  Maybe Chalmers-Wade-James-Birdman-Haslem?  I dunno.

10:17 - Spurs have completely given the offense over to Ginobilli, simply because Allen is on him.  Their entire offense the last three trips has been Manu driving on Allen, and they've scored on the first two prior to Danny Green trying to drive on Lebron which he really shouldn't do ever.

8:12 - Bosh's offense seems to be to get the ball on the block and pray to the lord baby santa jesus that a double team comes so he can pass it to someone else.  If it seems like I'm being unnecessarily hard on Bosh I assure you it's completely necessary. 

7:29 - Sometimes when I watch him I wonder if Ginobilli is drunk.

5:54 - I've now watch Mike Miller (an all-time fave dating back to his Florida days, by the way) drive to the hoop in traffic for a lay-up and get called for a foul battling for a rebound.  Honest to god I was pretty sure all that guy did was make 3s, get high, and get weed for other people.  Oh, and gets paid like $5 million per year to do it.  While played, Stoner.  Well played.

5:54 - Good hair, too.

4:54 - What's your favorite movie to prominently feature vampires?  I'd say Lost Boys followed by Interview with a Vampire and Lost Boys II. 

3:50 - Not to be outdone, now the entire Heat team is bitching at the refs.  This is looking like we could have some serious unravel potential here.  Spurs 71, Heat 58.

3:22 - Lebron on Parker.  Great defense, Spurs turnover, Battier 3.  Interesting.

1:36 - Awesome.  After the Heat pick up a little momentum scoring five straight with Lebron checking Parker, Lebron drives to the rim and gets bumped a little and decides to sit on the floor and whine to the ref instead of hustling back which leads to Ray Allen trying to guard Parker and you know how that probably turned out. 

4Q, 11:40 - I think Mario Chalmers has like, 30 points.  He's pretty much kept them in the game.  Now Miami has Lebron, Miller, Allen, Birdman, and Chalmers in the game.  Weird lineup, but they've scored the first five of the quarter to cut it to 75-70.

10:24 - Now a four point game after a Miller 3.  I'm thinking maybe we get Splitter out of there now, yeah?

7:55 - Lebron making this interesting by kind of totally taking over the Heat offense.  Like he probably could have been doing many, many times prior to now.

7:08 - Seems like we got ourselves a ballgame.  82-80 Spurs.

6:34 - Tie game.  Lebron just thriving without Wade and Bosh in the game.  Kind of fascinating. 

4:43 - Lebron keeps getting into the lane for lay-ups (87-84 Heat).  It's impressive how he's taken over the game, but Spurs need to force him into shooting jump shots . Like that, the one he just missed.  I know all.

1:47 - San Antonio ball down by 3.  I keep forgetting to type stuff. 

1:27 - Holy Tony Parker step back three. Wow.

0:58 - And a steal by Parker, followed by a bucket by Parker to put the Spurs up two.  This is fantastic.  I just wish I was drunker.

0:37 - Holy crap.  James somehow ends up with Parker on him, takes him into the lane, and then just straight up loses the ball which leads to a run out 2-on-1 for the Spurs which leads to Ginobilli making both and a 93-89 Spurs lead.  What a turnaround.

0:28 - Lebron airball.  This is not going to help his "chocker" legacy.  And, you're never going to believe this, but he's bitching at the ref that he got fouled.  Also, I'd have to double check, but when did Wade come back in the game?  Was that when shit fell apart?

0:20 - Lebron absolutely bricks a three, then Mike Miller (???!!?!?!?) gets the offensive rebound and finds James again who makes this one, and we're at 94-92 Spurs.  The real problem I'm having is I hate Lebron, yet I hate the irrational Lebron haters even more.  I don't know what to root for.  Hopefully I suffer a stroke of some kind and don't know what ends up happening.  Can you still get a boner if you have a stroke?  This is important.

0:19 - Leonard misses the first.  Shit just got real.

0:05 - Lebron misses the three (of course) but after an o-board Ray Allen nails the tying shot (of course).  Also, I think we may have a Chris Webber situation here.  Please hold.  Wait nevermind they're reviewing that shot which was a clear 3-pointer.  Also, way not to have Duncan out there so Bosh, who is a tremendous pussy don't forget, could get that huge offensive rebound. 

0:00 - And we're heading to overtime.  Well shit.

0:00 - Seriously I think if the Heat just leave Wade on the bench for OT they win.  Otherwise they lose.  Somebody bet me.

4:39 - Allen opens OT by shooting a 2-pointer.  What a dummy.  Also, they seriously give each team 3 timeouts per overtime?  That's outrageous.  Also, that turnaround jumper by James from 18 feet when he doesn't have that shot in his arsenal and was only also lightly guarded was outrageous.  Also, because shit is happening really quickly here, I think Manu Ginobilli is shockingly dumb for how much basketball he's played in his career.

3:24 - I can't think of a single good reason fro Boris Diaw to be in the game.  Other than that huge offensive board he just grabbed.  I'm an idiot.

2:42 - You're never going to believe this, but Ray Allen is pretty sure he didn't foul Tony Parker there.  Didn't Allen used to be a pretty straight up class act?  Effing Wade and Lebron.  It's like when those guys in Dazed and Confused turn Tim Lincecum into a pothead.  HOW'D THAT ALL TURN OUT, STONERS?  Now he's terrible.

1:18 - Allen looks seriously rejuvenated here, like he's in takeover mode.  He's even driving to the hope and other Jesus Shuttlesworth things like that and I think he just blocked a shot.  If he keeps going he's going to end up in a threesome with pornstars. 

0:40 - Ginobilli now appears to be point shaving.  Also, that ball was off Lebron.  Straight up great defense by Green, and, this will come as a shock, Lebron is bitching at the ref.

0:31 - Bosh with the biggest defensive play of the game blocking Parker's jumper like he was Hakim Warrick.  I will admit I really didn't see that one coming.

0:02 - So bizarre.  Spurs take Parker out when the Heat have the ball for some reason I either haven't been paying attention to or don't understand.  Then the Heat miss and Spurs have the ball with 10 seconds to go, and rather than call timeout to get Parker back in the game they let the point shaver go barrelling into the lane like a 2nd grader who just learned to dribble?  Which, of course, leads to a turnover and two Ray Allen free throws to put the Spurs up 3?  Fuck me.  Heat win another championship.

Lame

Tuesday Talkers

Going to be flipping between the Twins and the NBA Finals tonight, so might as well write some random stuff while doing those things.

- First off, I know we are all very excited about our little Byron Buxton and the just promoted to double-A Miguel Sano and with good reason.  Buxton is hitting .350/.444/.578 with 8 triples, 7 homers, and 26 steals while playing amazing defense and Sano hit .330/.424/.655 with 16 home runs in 56 games before his promotion.  No doubt these guys are crushing it and, assuming nothing significantly changes, both will be rated as top 10 prospects in all of baseball when next year's rankings come out.  It's very, very awesome, but the hype train might want to back up just a hair.

On the radio today I heard both Dubay and PA spout complete inanities about these guys (and yes, they are two of the biggest dummies when it comes to baseball among all people who have a public voice so I know they're almost going to say something stupid, but this just really bugged me).  Dubay's big call was that Sano would be a September call-up this year, which is wrong for two reasons.  First, you never go from A-ball to the major leagues in one season, it just doesn't happen unless somebody can prove me wrong but I'm sure it's extremely rare.  Even if he finishes the year tearing up AA like he did A I just can't see it happening.  Secondly, the money issue.  It's moot if he ends up starting 2014 in the majors, which I could see happening but kind of doubt it after Aaron Hicks started so slowly this year, but if they call him up in September guess what?  That major league service time clock gets going a year early.  The Twins are no longer cheap, but that doesn't mean they want to start giving out big money contracts a year early.  Won't happen.

The far more egregious and stupid comment came from PA which is something I assume we are all accustom to at this point, in that he said Buxton should be in the majors RIGHT NOW.  He also said if Buxton had started the year in the majors (yes this year) he would be as good or better than Aaron Hicks so far.  I'm not even going to start to break this doubt because it would be an insult to all of us, but I just don't get the PA popularity.  His knowledge of sports is extremely limited to NFL-only and he's only ok with that, his interview skills are subpar, and his personality is grating and annoying.  Yet, when I was listening to a Vikings game on the radio with a group of people one time somebody said, "Man I love PA" and then somebody else said "He's the best" and then everybody agreed.  I just don't get it.  Is it the raging homerism thing?  Do people love a homer announcer?  He's an idiot and a jackass and is stupid.  It's so confusing.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm living in some kind of weird dream world and this isn't real life.

- One other thing that's kind of getting lost in the Buxton/Sano hype is that Eddie Rosario was also promoted to AA along with Sano.  Rosario may not have the hype of the other two, but he's a pretty big deal and ranks consistently in the top 5 or top 10 on most Twins prospect lists, and is becoming even more valuable after his conversion from outfield to second base which, based on being promoted here, is likely going well.  He can hit (.329/.377/.527 this year) and if he can field at the 4-spot he may be the guy to finally fill that second base hole that's been on this team seemingly since Rod Carew.  Hurry up, Eddie, I can't take much more Brian Dozier.

-  Since I've been typing I've now seen Josh Willingham, Justin Morneau, and Oswaldo Arcia absolutely drill balls back-to-back-to-back off Cole Hamels and it makes one wonder - what is up with that dude?  Long time readers may remember that Hamels was my boyfriend for a while, but he's just been brutal this year.  Thing is, I can't find a single thing you can point to and say "that's the problem."  He's practically been the exact same pitcher this year as he's always been.  The only difference at all is batters are making more contact than usual when they swing at pitches in the strike zone (84% vs. 82%), he's given up more infield hits (16% vs. 11%), and more fly balls he's given up are going out of the park (13% vs. 11.5%).  All of that says his results have been more the result of a fluke than anything significant going on with him.  Then I see him basically put it on a tee for four straight Twin batters and I wonder if he's just making more mistakes this year - the higher contact rates in the zone and homer/flyball rates could back that up.  So, I guess I'm not sure yet what's his deal.  What am I, Galileo?

-  I actually had someone tell me they thought That's My Boy was a really good and funny movie.  No I didn't punch him immediately in the neck but only because we were at softball and we are on the same team and that would have caused all kinds of issues, but I kind of wanted to.

-  Speaking of movies, I caught a little bit of Reign of Fire recently, which is that movie with Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughey about dragons in a post apocalyptic world.   It's mostly a terrible movie, but Bale and McConaughey both rock and obviously dragons are like the bomb and stuff so every time I see it I ended up staying on the channel at least long enough to see a dragon fight and quite often end up watching the entire rest of the movie.  So if you're a fan of dragons and/or hot guys you should totally check it out on your netflix or hulu or whatever people watch stuff on these days.

-  The fact that Lebron James hasn't developed a true post game yet drives me crazy - almost as much as his constant bitching.  After the success of having him play the 4 in the Finals last year after Bosh got hurt he had to know they were going to be doing it a lot this season, but still he didn't develop any kind of offensive post moves.  I mean yeah he's still effective posting up and finding shooters or cutters, but his offensive game on the block is to put it on the floor and drive to the hoop.  Sure that works sometimes and he can get to the line that way as well, but can you imagine him with a turnaround jumper or a little jump hook or something?  I know it seems silly to criticize someone who just put up a season where he averaged 27, 8, & 7 while shooting 57%, but man, what if he had an actual post game?  That's fairly terrifying, in a boner inducing way.  Pretty sure he'd still bitch about everything though.

-  Wow the Spurs are just daring Lebron to take jumpers.  Seems to be working since he just bricked a wide open three.
 
 - Should be a very interesting U.S. Open.  From what I've heard the rough will be rough, but tons of rain will make the greens incredibly soft and slow so you'll see a whole lot of conservative play off the tee (to keep in in the fairway) and then aggressive shots into the green.  Sounds like a recipe for an awfully low winning score, which the U.S. Open hates, but there are three par-3s over 235 yards which is going to equalize things a bit, as well as only two par-5s to keep scores in check.  I know a lot of people like to say stuff like "I like it better when it's super tough because then the cream really rises to the top" but really the last few winners when the winning score was even or worse were Webb Simpson, Graeme McDowell, Angel Cabrera, Geoff Ogilvy, and Michael Campbell while the last few winners at -5 or better are Rory McIlroy, Jim Furyk, Tiger Woods, Ernie Els, Lee Janzen, and Payne Stewart.  I mean, that's a pretty clearly better second grouping, right?  Just proves my theory that people are idiots.  Man, I got a lot of evidence for that theorem.  I'll probably be in a magazine soon.

-  Wow Lebron has just been terrible.  Kawhi Leonard refusing to let him drive by giving him the jumper and James can't hit anything.  He's 2-11 from the field right now and if it wasn't for the incredible, incomparable Mike Miller being 5-5 from three this one would be over already.  And now that's 2-12, and he's whining to the ref.  I think I hate this guy.

-  Oh yeah, and I don't have any favorites for the U.S. Open yet.  I need to take a look at a few things before I give you your good futures bets, but without spending too much time on it I think Steve Stricker and Matt Kuchar would be the two I'd throw money at if I had to right now with no time to research.

-  Wow.  This got out of hand quickly.  Like Game 2 but in the Spurs favor.  It's a 31 point lead.  Gary Neal and Danny Green have combined for 51 points so far.  Green by himself has outscored Duncan+Ginobilli+Parker.  Crazy game.  But crazy awesome.

Week in Review - 6/25/2012

So in Back to the Future, right, Marty goes back in time and effs everything up by pushing his future dad out of the way of that car and then his mom falls for him instead and puts Marty's actual existence in jeopardy to the point where he starts to fade out of existence before his future parents finally kiss, right?  But if he fades out of existence, then he can't go back in time and screw everything up between his parents, so then he'd exist again, right?

Wait.  Actually they clear all this up in #2.  And pretty much make it clear at the end of #1.  I really shouldn't have written that paragraph up there with 20 minutes left in the movie.  Which, yes, I've seen many times but not in several years.  This intro here is really starting to ramble.  I'm going to stop talking now.  This is me not talking.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Francisco Liriano.  I can't remember the last time I wrote anything good about this guy and who knows when this opportunity will occur again so with apologies to Josh Willingham's clutchitude I'm giving Frankie the Twins' reserved spot this week.  After another good start against Pittsburgh, Liriano's numbers in his last five starts are looking downright respectable - 30ips, 16 hits, 9 runs, 12 walks, 35 Ks, .155 OAVG, .497 OPS, 2.67 ERA.  He's basically been completely different than he was his first first pass through the rotation to start the season where his ERA was near 10 in his six first starts with an OPS over 1.000.  He's throwing more strikes and thus cutting back on the free passes, and his K-rate is actually up as well.  Which is the real, Liriano?  The walk machine who gets knocked around the yard like he's Jason Marquis, or the one who suddenly looks like a capable #3 or #4 starter?  Honestly I don't have a clue, so hopefully they trade him right quick and let somebody else figure it out.  As the honorable barrister Vincent Gambino (aka Jerry Callow) once said, "I'm finished with this guy."

2.  Lebron James.  Others have said it better and I'm sure others have said it worse (although that seems slightly less likely) but holy crap did this guy figure all this shit out.  His numbers were ridiculous (29 pts/10 rebs/7 assists/2 steals for the finals and similar for the overall playoffs, but they don't tell the whole story because he just completely owned that court.  Every time he posted on the wing or block the Thunder could either double, in which case he made the right pass 90% of the time leading to easy Miami baskets, or leave somebody to try to play him one-on-one which led to a Lebron score pretty much every time.  He can control the game posting up the way Barkley did with regularity, but with Magic Johnson's ability to see where the defense is going before they go there and make the perfect pass and (early) Jordan's ability to score by driving if he gets 1-on-1 coverage.  It's just sick, and I fear his stats next year - he may legitimately threaten to average a triple double.  If you're a Lebron hater (and I think somehow I lost my Lebron hate after realizing he's really just a dumb kid who didn't know what he wanted and then seeing him grow up in these playoffs) you better pray to baby santa jesus that he doesn't develop a jump shot.  It would be like watching a real life NBA Jam guy out on the court.   You wouldn't even have to put in the "big head" code because of that giant 'Bron melon. 

3.  Mario Chalmers.  You could put Mike Miller or Shane Battier here as well because all three of those dorks had either a tremendous series or several huge moments/games, but I'm picking Chalmers to single out because he's young while Battier is like a wrinkly-headed Methusaleh and Miller might legitimately retire because of his severe back issues, and also of course because the A-hole Wolves traded Chalmers on draft day when their point guards were Sebastian Telfair and Kevin Ollie (note:  I'm not making this up, those were their PGs that year unless you want to count Randy Foye).Anyway, if you go game-by-game in the Finals you see Game 2:  Battier with 17, Game 4: Chalmers with 25, and Game 5: Miller with 23 - there was always someone stepping up for the Heat.  While this series was billed as Big 3 vs. Big 3 and Lebron will get most of the credit for the win (and deservedly so) it shouldn't be ignored that while the Thunder became the Big 2 (more on this later) the Heat because the Big 4 each night, albeit with a different 4th piece.  Chalmers and Miller hit some big shots which shouldn't be a surprise based on their college resumes, while Battier hitting big shots was a pretty big shock since Duke is a bunch of choking a-holes.

4.  Chris Sale.   I completely loved this dude the last two years as a reliever, and pretty much figured with his stuff (double-figures in K/9 both the last two years) he was setting himself up as Chicago's future save-getting-saver guy.  But, smartly, the White Sox realized he was too good to only use like, 3 innings a week and half of those with a 3-run lead and nobody on base, so they decided to turn him into a starter.  Would it work?  Of course, because Sale is practically unhittable and he's been that most of this year.  After nearly throwing a no-hitter against Milwaukee, Sale now leads the AL in ERA at 2.24 and second in WHIP at 0.96 (behind only teammate Jake Peavy).  He has 89 Ks in 88 innings against just 23 walks and 62 hits, leading to a .193 opponent's batting average, which is third in the league.  In short, this dude is wicked good.  Which is the kind of thing you can get when you spend a high draft pick on a polished college pitcher.  Seriously, Kevin Gausman is going to come back to haunt the Twins.  Bank on it.

5.  Toronto Blue Jays.  Not so much the results because they were only 3-3 (although I guess on the road against Milwaukee and Miami that isn't too terrible), but because of their power numbers, the likes of which we haven't seen in Minnesota since I was still playing softball.  This past week four dudes in MLB hit four homers - three of them were Jose Bautista, Edwin Encarnacion, and Colby Ramsus (those are all Blue Jays, dumbass).  Brett Lawrie hit two as well, to make 14 homers for the week.  I'm willing to bet the Twins haven't hit 14 home runs in a week since back in 1930.  Pairing that offense with a young pitching staff to build upon including Brandon Morrow, Kyle Drabek, Ricky Romero, Drew Hutchison, and Deck McGuire and the Blue Jays are set up for a long run of success.  Is what I would be saying if the Jays weren't in the AL East, but they are so they're pretty much effed.


WHO SUCKED

1.  Twins.   I know a 3-3 week with two wins over the Reds for this team is like, the best week in history but honestly this might be one of the worst teams, especially offensively, in the history of the history of the world.  Fourteen total runs in those six games, which including facing studs like Kevin Correia and Homer Bailey.  Twelfth in the AL in runs.  Thirteenth in homers.  The overall average is decent (8th), but there's zero power behind it (13th in ISO - power discarding average) and is boosted by the 7th highest BABIP despite one of the five worst line drive rates in the league.  Awful.  And throw in the pitching woes and it's hard not to believe this is the worst team in the league.  Worst ERA in the league.  Worst opponent batting average in the league.  Fewest quality starts in the league.  Fewest strikeouts in the league.  The only team whose pitching can compete with the Twins in terms of shittiness is the Rockies, and they play in a launching pad so they at least have an excuse.  And the real killer is there is nothing on the horizon to make you at least hope for the future.  So I quit.

2.  Kendrick Perkins.  Now, it's probably a little mean to pick on Perkins because his one real skill is defending big centers and the Heat didn't have a big center who they played at all (Joel Anthony and Ronny Turiaf combined for 5 minutes total in all five games), but man was he exposed out there. Bosh just completely owned him in every game and I'm pretty sure I saw Udonis Haslem school him at least once.  You don't really expect to get any offense out of him, but outside of a 12 & 10 game in Game 3 he averaged just over 5 boards and about 3.5 points per game, well under his season averages.  Basically he was completely useless, but I actually enjoyed watching someone get torched so easily so it was kind of fun at times.  Probably not if you were a Thunder fan or anything, but I bet it was a god damned riot if you live in Seattle.

3.  James Harden.  Remember how the big thing everyone talked about with the Thunder a couple of weeks ago was how they'd have to make a decision on keeping either Harden or Serge Ibaka?  Unfortunately the best thing you could say about Ibaka in the Finals was that at least he didn't play as badly as Harden, and boy was he awful. He was actually good in Games 2 and 5 and the Thunder won Game 1, but he was so terrible in Games 3 and 4 - pretty monstrously important games in a best of 7 series, that you can make a pretty convincing argument that he's the biggest reason the Thunder lost.  Beardy Bearderson was 4-20 from the floor in those games, including 1-9 from three, and lost his confidence to such an extent that he actually started passing up open shots, which probably hurt the Thunder more than the misses did.  Not saying the Thunder could have beaten the Heat even if Harden played well, but they sure as hell weren't going to beat them without him.  I mean, would Three's Company have been as funny and sexy without Janet?  Actually I'm pretty sure yes.

4.  Tim Lincecum.  His final line on his latest start actually ended up ok, 6 innings - 3hits -3runs - 4walks-8 Ks - but the way it started was as ugly as his season has been.  Against a really, really crappy A's offense he allowed single-single-single-walk-groundout-walk and suddenly Oakland had put up 3 runs.  Then he struck out the next three batters and allowed only two base runners the rest of the game.  Some might this is a good sign that the old Lincecum might be back, but he's done this before (8 inning 3-hitter against San Diego and a couple other good outings), but all it's really resulted in is an ERA north of six and a WHIP more than 25% higher than his career number.  I mean, he's lasted less than six innings nine times already this year compared to just six times all of last season.  His walks and home runs are way up, he's allowing way to many line drives and no longer inducing easy pop-ups, and his fastball is down over 2mph to last year - and that last one is really the killer.  A lot of things can be ascribed to luck, and Wiley Wiggins here has had some bad luck this year, but when you drop down to a Blackburn-esque fastball when you're a strikeout pitcher?  Yikestown.

5. Adam Dunn.  Well if you were looking for last year's version of Adam Dunn I think we found him this week, because his extremely stellar season took a short detour off the rails (although not before he covered his season prop of OVER 20.5 HRs - holla).  This week Dunn came up to the plate 27 times.  He walked 5, and struck out 13.  Of the nine times he actually put the ball in play he hit two singles.  All of which adds up to a .095 average (and slugging).  Granted, when you have a dude like Adam Dunn you're going to get weeks like this and have to hope you get enough of those 4 home run weeks to balance it all out, but it's still worth pointing out a shitty week like this, and it's kind of jarring when you see a dude who struck out 13 times last week.  Also I just saw that Michael Cuddyer was 2-25 and I'd love to make fun of him a little bit but now it's too late cuz I wrote all this crap.  And you just read it.  Ha ha I win.



Pretty excited Juwan Howard has a ring, you guys.  I mean he was my fourth favorite Fab Five guy and all (1. Jalen, 2. King, 3. Webber, 4. Juwan, 5. Jackson, 6. Rob Pelinka), but I was/am such a huge fan it's nice to see one of them get a ring, especially since he was such a key cog in that machine.  And as we know, Juwan always wins:

In your face kid from Modern Family

Also seriously how freaking sweet is this thing:

There are, literally, hundreds of college basketball starting lineups I want.  If they exist.

Tuesday Talkings

I know you're wondering if this blog is dead.  It's not, I promise.  I've just been really busy.  What with work, heading to the cabin, kids' stuff, and my wife currently reading 50 Shades of Grey, I just am having trouble finding time to blog anything.  And there isn't exactly any motivation either.  Look at the Twins.  They're terrible, and the Gophers don't play for like, 100 years.  I don't know.  But I haven't been following any sports too closely the last few days/weeks, so let me look around and see if I see anything interesting. And I better hurry too, because it looks like Mrs. W is cracking the book open again.

- Because right now I can't possibly summon the will to blog about the Twins but I know I should at least try to start with something local I suppose we could discuss the Vikings' NFL draft.  Obviously everyone knew Kalil was the guy the whole time and the Vikings did quite well to get three extra picks to move down a spot and still get their guy, especially because it turns out nobody else was remotely interested in moving down to that spot so suck it Cleveland.  That safety they moved up to get at the end of the second round sounds pretty cool too since I heard somebody say there were really only two good safeties and they moved up to get one of them.

As far as the draft after that I am willing to admit I don't have a clue and if you know a whole lot about the rest of who they picked you should be embarrassed.  Seriously, anybody who watched more than the first round of that garbage should be forced to take a class on not being a moron.  I bet you're the kind of guy who watched the 3-hour show on ESPN the day the NFL schedule was released.  Seriously you people and your football.  As Jessie Spano once said, "who wants to watch a bunch of barbarians kicking each other's butts"?  Ok I'm not quite there because I enjoy watching football, but the obsession in this country makes me realize why Nickelback and Olive Garden are so popular.  Oh, and blood sausage.  People like blood sausage.

Seriously, people are morons.  Why do you think they end up making money at the end of Field of Dreams?  Because people get in their cars and drive to Iowa without knowing why to pay money to stare at a ball field full of players they can't see?  Everyone always says the ending of that movie (wanna have a catch?) is so great but it just pisses me off.

-  NBA Playoffs are up and running and since that's the best time to watch the NBA I might as well comment, even though we're only a couple games into round 1.  And obviously it's super lame with the Dwight Howard fake back injury and the Derrick Rose ACL because the Heat are going to just waltz into the Finals.  You can try to talk yourself into the Celtics, especially if you're Bill Simmons, but it's looking like they're going to struggle to even get past the Hawks and I just don't see them mounting any serious challenge to the Heat, nor anyone else in the East.  Which I guess is good in a way, because what's better than rooting against a villain?  There's something very satisfying about watching LeBron make it to the finals again and lose.

Who will he be playing is the question?  Going into the playoffs I'd have said Oklahoma City and I don't see any reason to change that prediction.  I'm not ready to say they're ready to be the champs quite yet but going against the defending champs and winning a couple of close games is the way to get there, even if the defending champs don't have Tyson Chandler anymore who is a complete stud pimp.  But really I can see any team other than the Jazz ending up coming out of the West.

The Nuggets would probably be the least likely and it'll be tough for them to get past the Lakers, but Ty Lawson is all crazy good now all of a sudden and this late season emergence of Kenneth Faried make them interesting (and am I the only one who finds "Manimal" a little bit racist?  Anyone?  No?  Let me guess you think the gorillas in the barnyard weren't racist either.)   Every other team at least has a shot, and the Spurs have the #1 seed, a collection of second round picks, and are supposedly the favorite but that just seems weird because Tim Duncan is a hundred years old and kind of a poofer.  I almost feel like I'm going to have to root for the Lakers because I don't know who else can beat the Heat.  But what if the Heat played the Lakers?  Who would I root for?  It would be like choosing between my two kids.  Actually, do you have two kids under the age of 4?  Because I'm totally lying, it would be almost exactly like picking between my two kids.

-  I just did 36 push-ups.  Suck it.

-  Who grounds out to second base more than Mauer?  Nobody, that's who.  Is there a way to look this up?  I'd do it but I'm running out of time.

-  Seriously question though, do you think when Marky Mark goes home for like, Thanksgiving dinner he just teases the shit out of Donnie?  I mean really?  Rizzoli and Isles? Blue Bloods?  Zookeeper for fucks sake?  Those are the last three things on his imdb list.  When Marky makes a bad flick it's something like  Contrabrand (made $66 million) or Date Night ($98m) which at least makes money, and he's getting nominated for awards along the way.  Donnie was just in a TV movie with Brian Dennehy who I'm pretty sure is dead.  Really, I bet when they get together for Christmas everybody gets drunk and Mark starts wadding up and throwing hundred dollar bills at Donnie's head and at first Donnie wants to fight but then he realizes if he keeps sitting there and taking it eventually he's going to get his rent paid so he just takes it and then he ends up making Marky Mark a sandwich.

-  Gotta go

Tuesday Talkings (+bonus surprise happy fun-time US Open Preview)

-  First off, congrats to Dirk Dirkington and the Mavs on winning the NBA title.  Just as Lord Locksley once told us "Never fear, good will overcome.  Trust in that" and it once again rings true with the evil Heat vanquished by the shining whiteness of Dirk.  Of course, rather than focus on that most of the media is trying to dissect what's wrong with Lebron, but at this point it should be pretty obvious, especially to anybody who spent a lot of time watching the Timberwolves.  Forget Jordan.  Forget Magic, even.  He's basically a more athletic, shorter, Kevin Garnett.  They both have skill sets that are amazing for someone their size, they're both physical freaks, and they're both very intense on the court - for 3 quarters.  Just as KG didn't want to be the man (or maybe simply couldn't be the man) with the game on the line, Lebron is similar, which is why his pairing with Wade generally works (don't forget, they did make the finals, even if they lost).

-  Two quick notes on AL Central pitchers:  First, Justin Verlander is the best pitcher in baseball.  He pitched a complete game 2-hit shutout tonight (7.1 no-hit innings) with 12 Ks and just one walk.  He now leads the majors with a 0.89 WHIP and has struck out 105 Ks while allowing just 73 hits.  105 Ks vs. 73 hits meaning you're 50% more likely to strike out against him than get a hit.  Not to mention just knowing he's going to go out there and throw and give you a solid game is an amazing luxury to have.  He's thrown at least 115 pitches in a game 7 times this year (and never thrown less than 104).  Jered Weaver is the only other pitcher who has done that at least 6 times.  He's just so good.  Best pitcher in the league, and I'm not even sure who else you could make an argument for.

The other AL Central pitcher worth noting is Carlos Carrasco of the Indians.  You may remember him as the dude who shut down the Twins and I'm guessing you figured he was just the latest in a long, long line of shitty pitchers who looked like jesus odin against the crappy Minnesota bats, joining the likes of Kyle Drabek (just sent to AAA), Aaron Laffey (demoted to bullpen), Mark Rcepczynski (also bullpen), Luke Hochevar (plain sucks), Jeff Niemann (either hurt or in AAA, can't find it), and Luke French (back in AAA for the third sraight year) - jesus would you look at that crap?  Anyway, Carrasco followed up his Twink shutdown by doing the same against the Yankees as well.  He might actually be good.  I'm not saying I'm just saying.  Keep your eye on him.  I'm distracted now though because Mrs. W is watching the Voice and Xtina's boobs have gone from sublime to ridiculous.  Of course, it's the kind of ridiculous that is also has some bad that goes with it, but I'd still pay a significant amount of money to motor boat those puppies for a few seconds.

-  Speaking of boobs, I was planning on writing more tonight but I just got a text message and an email from the one, the only, the great Grandslam with his always awesome golf preview, this time for the US Open which is happening this weekend.  So here we go:

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2011 U.S. Open Preview

It seems like every year the U.S. Open comes around, we’re discussing how it will be the longest course in U.S. Open History.  This year’s version will be exactly that.  The 111^th version of the U.S. Open will be held at Congressional Country Club in Bethesda, MD, and the course will measure at 7,574 yards making it the new U.S. Open record.  This year’s version will look much differently than it did in 1997 when the tournament was last held here.  The most notable change will be to the finishing 18^th hole which will once again be a par 4 after experimenting with a par 3 finish in ’97.  

The U.S. Open is flat out the most entertaining golf tournament of the whole year.  Many fans don’t like to watch a tournament where the possible winning score could be over par.  I personally enjoy watching the best players in the world struggle to get their ball in the hole.  It’s entertaining to watch a birdie fest, but watching a golf course that makes players of this caliber look like players at the local municipal is as entertaining as it gets.  USGA executive director Mike Davis has a theory every year when setting up the U.S. Open course, and that is to make it the hardest event these players play in all year.  To go with the length of Congressional, players can expect extremely fast greens, dry, fast fairways, and the longest, thickest rough players will see all year……if Mother Nature cooperates.

 

Once again the top story leading into a major is Tiger Woods.  However, this year’s story is a little different; the story is his absence from this year’s U.S. Open.  Tiger hasn’t played since The Masters and was expected to make his return this week.  Tiger continues to have problems with his left leg, leading critics to wonder when we will see him again.  I believe Tiger will return to form sooner than later, but from what we’ve seen from him lately, if he was playing this week, would he even be a factor?

Whether Tiger Woods was in the field or not this week, the 111^th version of the U.S. Open is wide open to the majority of the field.  With a winning score that I believe will be somewhere around even par (which the USGA is looking for) that brings a lot more players into the mix.  Schwartzel, Kaymer, Oosthuizen, McDowell, Mickelson, Yang, Cink, Glover, Cabrera, and Harrington…….what do these players have in common?  They won’t win the U.S. Open this year.  In the last ten major championships, we’ve had ten different winners.  Maybe we will have a first-time major champion if recent history repeats itself as the last four majors were all first-time winners.  

As for who to look for this week…….Well I don’t have all the answers, but whoever drives it long and accurate this week will almost surely find their name towards the top of the leader board.  As is every year in the U.S. Open, there will be a premium on hitting fairways as the rough will be up to 6” or more in some areas.  As well as accuracy, length will be a key to attacking the longest course in U.S. Open history.  I think it’s safe to say that the odds on favorite is Luke Donald.  He’s #1 in the Fed Ex Cup standings, #1 on both the PGA Tour and European Tour money lists, and oh yeah……the #1 player in the world.  Although Luke Donald has won twice this year (1 on each tour) including the biggest win of his career at the WGC-World Match Play, he will NOT win his first major this week.  Luke Donald has had an outstanding 2011 season thus far, but it could’ve potentially been record breaking.  Donald can’t seem to close tournaments on a consistent basis.  He has lost multiple times in 2011 in playoffs, and just can’t seem to find the consistency down the stretch on Sunday’s.  He’s a top-10 king this year, and that’s exactly where I see him finishing this week.

             

Alright Ladies and Gentleman, get ready to take these picks straight to Vegas……or at least your office pool.  Since this is my preview, I get to chose two players in each category so I don’t want to hear about it.

Winner:  Steve Stricker, Matt Kuchar

Contender:  Brandt Snedeker, Jonathan Byrd

Sleeper:  Kevin Streelman, Gary Woodland  

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And there you have it.  Grandslam says he doesn't have all the answers, but lucky for you I do.  Look to Hunter Mahan, Rory McIlroy, and Steve Stricker (good call here by Slam) as your favorites (along with Phil of course) with possible sleepers Jason Day, Jeff Overton, J.B. Holmes, Robert Allenby, Ben Crane, and and Brian Gay (all 100-1 or worse).  I also really like the Byrd call.  Side note:  Mrs. W is in love with Byrd.  If anybody knows him let him know if he wins the US Open and wants to work out some kid of indecent proposal that he should give me a call.

Week in Review - 6/13/2011

Guess who had Ruler on Ice to win the Belmont at 42-1?   Yep.  I know my only published pick (via Twitter) was Master of Hounds so you'll just have to take my word for it.  That means I've nailed the winner in the last two triple crown races and my two picks finished 2nd and 3rd in the Kentucky (and I picked the winner of the derby last year).  I think it's safe to say I'm awesome at handicapping horses.  So I celebrated by cooking up some steaks, and I want to share the method here with you - the Alton Brown method.  Simply salt and pepper your steak, then turn a burner on the stove up to high and preheat your oven at 500 degrees.  Once everything is heated up, toss some olive oil in a cast iron pan and throw the steaks in there on the burner.  2-minutes each side to get a nice sear.  Then throw them in the oven and go two minutes per side again (may have to adjust up or down for desired doneness).  And that's it.  Super simple and completely delicious, maybe even superior to using the grill.  Give it a shot.

Now on to the boring part.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Francisco Liriano.  He ended up losing the no-hitter and the shutout, but Franky's outing on Sunday against Texas was far, far more impressive than the actual no-hitter he threw earlier this year.  He was actually hitting his spots (first time ever?), his fastball had some major tail action on it, his slider was basically unhittable, and he was even using his change-up effectively.  He was perfect through six and didn't allow a hit until the 8th, which was almost inevitable after the Twins kept him on the bench for nearly a half-hour by battering a couple Texas pitchers for five runs in the bottom of the seventh in that rare occasion when you actually want your team to hurry up and get out.  You could tell his rhythm was broken after that (that's on him, of course, you need to be able to adjust to that) but altogether his performance was nothing short of dominant.  This version of Liriano is an ace, a game-changer, a slump stopper, and a potential playoff killer.  It's just too bad we only see this version once a month or so. 

2.  Ben Revere.  Snacks already claimed him as his new favorite player so I won't step on any toes, but man I really like Revere right now.  He's not perfect or anything - he doesn't walk enough to be an elite leadoff guy, he has no power at all, and his arm would be better suited to playing second base - but what he does have is energy, speed, great center field instincts, and he's giving the team what they need - a jolt of energy.  Infield hits, bunt hits, reaching base on a wild pitch after striking out, stealing bases, he's just really fun to watch.  Now, I know this schtick will get old unless he learns to walk, learns to have a little power, or can hit .330, but for now you can put me in the "big fan" camp, and I think he has far more potential than Gomez.  I don't know that he'll ever develop much power, but his plate discipline says he should learn to walk and he did hit over .300 at every minor league level, so I'm encouraged.  Side note - I was going to sponsor his baseball-reference.com page, but some jackhole beat me to it. 

3.  Dallas Mavericks.  It's tempting to give most of the credit for the big finals win to Dirk, but really there are a bunch of guys who carried this team at times.  Terry had a monster game in the clinched and was their whole offense in the first half, Kidd was hitting his shots and running the offense as only an old man can, and Tyson Chandler had the kind of finals that makes guys millions, if only he was a free agent.  Hell, even Deshawn Stevenson made a difference, both with his defense on baby soft Lebron and his 3 big 3-pointers in the first half tonight.  I hate manufactured crap like "this is what happens when a real 'team' takes on 'superstars"", but for this series at least it was the truth.  Miami had no answer for the fluid way Dallas played together and thank god.  On a happiness scale I'm not sure if I'm happier that Dirk won or Lebron lost, but they both rank way up there.

4.  Mike Leake.  Welcome back, Mr. hippie surfer shoplifter, welcome back indeed.  He had an insane rookie year that saw him skip the minor leagues entirely and get off to an absolutely blistering start (5-0, 2.22 ERA through early June), but since then things have been very rocky.  He ended up burning out last year and was shut down in late August after he put up an ERA of almost six and a half in his next 10 starts and a disastrous move to the bullpen.  This year has been rough as well with an injury, the whole shoplifting thing, his first ever minor league action, and a move to the bullpen, but things might be coming around now.  Back-to-back 8 inning efforts with just two total runs allowed and and 11-to-2 strikeout to walk ratio this week.  Love this guy, love everything about him, and very glad to see him back to makin' hitters look like fools, as well as seeing him back on our fantasy team.

5.  Mike Moustakas.  Yet another one of Kansas City's stud prospect, third baseman Mike Moustakas made his debut this past week and .  Eric Hosmer looks like the real deal and Alcides Escobar is their SS of the future who is valuable even if his hitting doesn't come around, so they've got 3/4 of the infield covered.  Now, Moustakas and Hosmer were generally ranked #1 and #2 in their system, so not everyone else has their pedigree, but it's notable that they have catcher covered (Wil Myers, #8 prospect in all of baseball by Keith Law) so if they can just find a few competent outfielders (I think Jarrod Dyson has a future similar to Escobar, but in CF) their future lineup should be pretty well set.  The biggest question will be enough pitching will develop to make them competitive, but the minors are pretty heavily laden with big-time pitching prospects (including Danny Duffy, Jeremy Jeffress, Aaron Crow, and Tim Collins who are already up).  Things better come together, because I have a $100 bet with Snacks that the Royals will win the AL Central before 2015, and god knows I can't afford to lose that kind of money.  I would hate to have to choose between booze and feeding my kids.  I think we all know which way that one is going to go.


WHO SUCKED

1.  Colby Lewis.  You remember good ole Colby, the dude who the Twins chased on Saturday after just more than an inning?  You might remember him as the guy who gave up two hits each to Alexi Casilla and Delmon Young despite pitching just one and third innings.  Not to mention giving up a sick number of hits/runs in between and getting run early with a final line of 1.1ip/7h/6er.  Ouch.  But what you might not know is that he also pitched against the Tigers earlier this week and might actually have pitched worse.  Line:  3.1 ip/10 hits/9er/4 hr.  Yes, that's nine earned runs and 4 homers allowed - two of which were to that piece of crap Brennan Boesch.  So, in case your math skills are bad or you are a girl, that's 15 earned runs allowed in one week and that includes a game against the Twins triple A lineup.  In all seriousness I really hope Mr. Lewis has been saving most of his money, because that paycheck might be drying up pretty quick here.  Actually what do I care?  Guy sucks.  Get a real job, hippie!

2.  Tim Lincecum.  Since he's in the NL you probably have no idea he's been brutal. In fact, even if you're paying attention he doesn't look that bad - 3.41 ERA and 1.19 WHIP - but this week he's been completely brutal.  He had two starts this week and in the longer outing he lasted five innings, and that was against the epically shitty Nationals.  The Reds are at least good, but when you're Lincecum you just don't give up 7 hits and 7 runs in 4 innings to anybody - and he only struck out one guy.  Very bad if you're a big fan of diminutive whirling dervish floppy haired pot-smoking hippy pitchers - or Wiley Wiggins.  The good news is nerd stats (I'll spare you) don't point to anything that's significantly different that normal so this is more likely a blip on the radar rather than indicative of a Soria-style breakdown or anything, but god, getting ripped by the Nats is just freaking embarrassing.  It'd be like getting busted by O'Bannion. 

3.  Oakland Athletics.  Wow are these guys god damn awful.  Look at that lineup and count the actual major league hitters.  I see David DeJesus and Josh Willingham, both who would be good fourth outfielders for a team, and Coco Crisp who is a quality leadoff hitter.  That's it.  Their infield has to be the worst collection in the league - other contenders like Seattle and San Diego at least have one quality bat (Justin Smoak and Chase Headley), but Oakland has nothing.  Throw in the injuries to starters Dallas Braden, Brett Anderson, Tyson Ross, and Brandon McCarthy and you can see why they've won just one of their last 14.   Of note:  they still have a better record than the Twins.  FML.

4.  Ryan Howard.  No, not the mid-level executive from a mid-tier paper company in Pennsylvania who was addicted to cocaine and then committed fraud, I'm talking about the fat first baseman for the Phillies.  You know, the guy who was inexplicably given a 5-year $125 million contract THAT DOESN'T EVEN START UNTIL NEXT SEASON despite the fact that his body type (fat to mostly fat) and playing style (high strikeout power hitter) mean that, at best, he's going to be a blacker Matt Stairs by the end of that contract.  And this week was a preview, because he had three hits all week (not counting today where he had three hits and three rbi which kind of negates this point but I already typed all those words before I looked it up and saw he had a good day today).  Any way the point is that Ryan Howard is fat and that was a stupid contract.  Like, Mauer-stupid.

5.  Lebron James.  I almost feel like you could just call out the entire Heat team as sucking, but the difference is that there were games where Bosh played amazingly well (including tonight), Wade pretty much carried the team the entire series, and Lebron was straight up invisible way too often so you have to pick him as the goat.  Not only did he handpick this team to win championships, but he hand picked this fucking team to win the championship.  This shit was orchestrated with one goal in mind and they failed.  And they didn't fail because of Wade (no surprise, the guy was nails in the playoffs and finals) and they didn't fail because of Bosh (surprisingly good this entire finals), they failed because Lebron was unable to carry the team for even small stretches and was about as valuable as that fat kid in Teen Wolf in the fourth quarter.  God there is just an amazing psychology paper waiting to be written on Lebron.  If I wasn't so dumb I would totally write it.  That's not true.  I'm too lazy.  I just want to go fishing.  


Lastly, just to brighten your week, here are Wonderbaby^TM's mad baseball skills on full display:

Are You Sick of Lebron Yet?

Well thank god that's over.  As even your shut-in aunt who orders groceries through the internet because she's afraid to leave the house and her six cats, three birds, and 80 china dolls and who hasn't seen a live tree in years but is a level 80 paladin has probably heard by now, Lebron James is going to sign with the Heat and create SuperTeam, ending literally years of speculation - years that have felt like eons, at this point. 

I really don't know what was more annoying:  Lebron's arrogance or people complaining about Lebron's arrogance.  Not counting angry old white people, I think most sports fans were willing to give Lebron and company some leeway, seeing as how these are guys in their mid-to-late twenties who have made millions and are about to make some pretty big decisions, not to mention that this was the best free agent class in the history of the NBA and it wasn't even close - of course they were going to dominate headlines. (now that my friends, is a run-on sentence) 

The tipping point, however, seemed to be this one-hour special on ESPN to announce James' decision.  This took a lot of people from patient, indulgent, and "kids being kids" to irritated, disgusted, and "disgrace to the game."  It's hard not to be one of these people.  I don't want to rehash the same things that have already been rehashed by everybody within a six-foot radius of a keyboard or a pencil, but, like many, I like Kevin Durant just a little bit more now, Lebron a little bit less (although not nearly as much as most others), and Scott Baker a whole lot less.

I do feel a little bit of sympathy for him, to be honest, or at least as much as one can feel for someone who may end up earning a billion dollars in his career - a career which will likely end before he turns 40.  He was really in a no-win situation, and was going to get ripped no matter what he did.  Of course, he did handle this with all the finesse of Grawp, so it's tough to have more than the tiniest smidgeon of sympathy.  Worse than anything LeBron did, outside of referring to himself in the third person as "the King", were some of the arguments and teeth-nashing from others who somehow felt that they were entitled to an opinion in this whole garbage dump.

My personal favorite was from some clown on KFAN (nobody I have ever heard on there before) who was ranting and raving about how if Lebron chose Miami it was a travesty of justice and made the NBA a joke because:

1.  They are buying a championship
2.  They are guaranteed to become a dynasty
3.  It's unfair to everyone because they are getting these three players without having to give anything up.

First off, point #2 is stupid, because they may have three super stars, but anyone who knows anything about sports knows what injuries can do.  Further than that, they are going to have so much money tied up in those three guys that who knows what else they are going to end up filling the roster with.  It will probably be mostly crap, and those three guys are going to be playing 40+ minutes every single night, which leads to both injuries and tired legs.  They are probably not even the #1 favorite to win next year.  Ok, actually they are, but it's not that clear cut. 

As for the rest, it's ludicrous.  This isn't the Yankees outspending everybody else.  There is a salary cap, and everyone has to abide by it.  There were several teams that have been planning for this for two years or more, and they very much have had to make sacrifices and give things up.  The Bulls just gave away Kirk Hinrich for nothing.  The Heat traded a nice young player in Daequan Cook away for nothing, and had to give up a first round pick in order to do it.  The Knicks have been planning for this for years.  If the Heat hadn't gotten these there, their entire roster would have been Michael Beasley and Mario Chalmers.  That was there entire list of players under contract.  As it stands now, they have to fill in the rest of the team with minimum or near-minimum guys.

The Lakers still have the same team, but with a better point guard.  The Celtics are older, but they're still intact and added Jermaine O'Neal.  The Bulls got better.  The Magic are just as good.  Dallas got better.  And the Thunder are absolutely on their way.  This isn't going to be a slam dunk.

Imagine this.  Heat vs. Lakers in the finals.  With all the freaking out people are doing, with all the hate pouring in about Lebron (seriously, check Twitter - or anywhere on the internet, people are losing their shit), with all the built in anti-favorite bias everyone seems to have.....would the world root for Kobe?

Last thought. 

Lebron, Bosh, and Wade are all taking less than max contracts, less than they could get elsewhere, in order to go after a title (or more) and play together because they are good friends. 

Can you really begrudge them that?

Week in Review - 5/17/2010

 So I had this whole write up done for how the Twins suck and all that.  But I wrote it during the 7th inning of the game yesterday, and one swing of Jason Kubel's ample bat off Mr. Sandman erased all the bad feelings about this weekend.  We can now ignore Gardy's retarded use of Guerrier against A-Rod, Jesse Crain's inability to get anybody out (still), the fact that two of the spots in the lineup are going to be used by a combo of Brendan Harris, Nick Punto, Alexi Casilla, and Matt Tolbert, and the fact that the team is suddenly unable to get a big hit (save the Kubel slam).  But none of that matters, because the Twins went 1-2 in New York.  World Series, here we come.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Stephen Strasburg.  Good lord, would you jerks just call this kid up to the bigs already?  After tossing 6-innings of 1-hit ball at AAA this week, he now has an ERA of 1.06 and a WHIP of 0.65 in his 7 minor league starts between AAA and AA.  He's faced a total of 125 batters, allowing just 22 to reach base on 14 hits and 8 walks, while striking out 40.  He's whiffed 3 batters for each one who gets a hit.  He's given up fewer hits than Jesse Crain in almost double the innings.  He has nothing left to prove in the minors, they're just keeping him down to try to save money down the line by keeping his service clock off, but at this point it's embarrassing.  They're just wasting his innings right now.  Although mark my words, if the Nationals stay in contention they won't make a trade around the deadline, they'll use the classic Twins line, "Calling him up is as good as a trade."  Classic Twins.

2.  Mike Leake.  Is it repetitive to put Leake in here week after week?  Maybe.  But do you know what else is repetitive?  His ability to get people out.  Again and again and again and again and again.  They seemingly keep him on a pitch count of right around 100, which is good for the rest of the league because nobody can hit this guy.  After a 6-inning, 4 hit, 2 run performance on Friday, he's now sitting at 4-0 with a 3.09 ERA, and he's just consistent as hell.  In his 7 career starts (all this year), he's never last less than 6 innings, never given up more than 8 hits, and has only given up more than 3 runs once.  And let's not forget this is a rookie who never played in the minors, just jumped straight to the Reds this year after being drafted last year.  He doesn't strike out a ton of guys so I don't know that he'll ever reach "superstar" status, but he will certainly be a star, and maybe already is. 

3.  Shane Victorino.  Thrust into the leadoff role for the Phils with Jimmy Rollins on the shelf, Victorino got off to a rough start this year.  And then we traded for him in fantasy.  And he is just destroying the ball.   In his five games this week, he had multiple hits in four of them.  And not just multiple hits, but a ton of extra bases as well.  In his 10-23 week, he picked up a double, a home run, and three triples and also walked three times.  He's always been a speed guy, thus the "Flyin' Hawaiian" nickname, but he's slugging the ball at an impressive .519 clip so far this year, which would be a career high, and already has 8 home runs against a career best of 14.  Perhaps a new nickname is in order.  This is where I'd put my suggestion but I can't come up with anything clever. 

4.  Adam Scott.  Welcome back Mr.  Scott.  After being one of the best young golfers on the tour a few years ago, to the point where he was known as the best golfer who hadn't won a major, a surfing accident (shark attack?) completely derailed him like that train from the Fugitive.  It got so bad at one point, that last season he missed the cut in 10 of his last 16 tournaments, and it was almost looking like he was basically done and might be heading towards David Duval land.  He had been looking better this year, making 6 of 8 cuts, and finally broke back through with a win at the Texas Open this weekend.  It wasn't exactly a top field, but there were enough good players there that this should be looked at as a huge positive step for Scott.  And between him and Aaron Baddeley finishing in third, it was quite the weekend for washed up young golfers.

5.  Young Pitchers.  Too many to name individually (not counting Leake, who is just a straight pimp).  Mat Latos tossed a one-hitter for the Padres.  So did Johnny Cueto for the Reds.  And speaking of Reds, the day after Cueto's gem Homer Bailey went the distance for a shut out.  Ricky Romero threw a complete game shutout, striking out 12, while Tommy Hanson struck out 10 in 7 innings.  Phil Hughes won his fifth game, as did David Price.  And someone named John Ely pitched a gem for the Dodgers in just his third major league start.   I don't know if it's a great era for young arms or just a weird week, but I've definitely noticed the youngsters this week.  You probably have too, perv.


WHO SUCKED

1.  LeBron.  I'm not going to belabour the obvious here when you can read 26,500 articles just by searching google for "LeBron James lackluster", but that was brutal.  Unless his elbow is far worse than anybody thinks, this was a shocking lack of effort and focus by someone who is thought as possibly the best player in the league.  On the other hand, he's only 25 (for real, I looked it up) and 25 years are prone to petulance.  I'm going to go ahead and not write him off just yet.  Seriously, if he wants to sign with the Wolves, I'm on board.  Smart money says the Nets, though.  Book it.

2.  Rich Harden.  Rich Harden is from Canada.  British Columbia, to be exact, the same province that gave us Kristin Kreuk (pictured), Jason Priestley, and Bryan Adams.  So you'd think that when he gets to pitch in his home country, like when he goes to Toronto, he'd be all amped up and be lights out.  Well, he might get amped up, but he sure as hell can't pitch for crap up in the great white north, and Friday's 2.2 inning, 4 hit, 6 walk, 7 run disaster in what has clearly become a trend at this point.  His other two career starts in Canada were nearly as bad.  In 2004, he went just 4 and 1/3 innings, giving up 7 hits and 7 runs, and in 2005 he gave up 5 hits and 6 walks in five innings, but escaped allowing just four runs.  So that means in his career his ERA is 13.50 in Canada.  Since Minnesota is basically Canada without the monopoly money and bigger fish, I'd say it's a good thing the Twins didn't sign him.

3.  Jason Bartlett.  Hey do you remember when Bartlett was thrown into the Delmon Young/Matt Garza trade and the only people who cared were the ladies who got all hot every time they looked at him because it looked like he was just going to be a mediocre shortstop?  And then remember last year when he hit .320 and stole 30 bases and showed some power and everyone was all angsty about how the team could let him go and blah blah blah?  Well, spaz, you can relax because he sucks again.  After going 3-23 this week, he's now hitting .236 on the year and isn't bothering to slug the ball even a little bit.  So it looks like the Twins got the better of the Harris/Bartlett part of that deal.  Suck it, Rays.

4.  Former Texas Open Winners.  Zach Johnson and Justin Leonard had combined to win the last 3 Texas Opens.  Back then it was played at La Cantera.  This year, they moved it to TPC San Antonio, and these two clowns apparently couldn't handle the long course, because they both missed the cut spectacularly.  Johnson fired an 80 in the first round that he couldn't recover from, which included a truly stunning six-putt after putting the ball on the green off the tee in one on 13, including three misses inside of three feet.  Justin Leonard wasn't quite as bad, but he also shit the bed in the opening round, posting a 76, and wasn't able to recover, which including a triple bogey after doinking his drive into the wilderness.  Excellent work, guys. 

5.  B.J. Upton.  Remember two years ago when I predicted Upton would be the MVP?  And remember this year, when I insisted that last year was just a down year and he'd be back and knocking the cover off the ball and all that?  Well it turns out I'm an idiot, because Upton just keeps sucking and sucking and is suddenly in danger of being benched.  He had a nice couple of games over the weekend after word came out that he was close to hitting the pine, including two doubles yesterday, but that still put him at just 4-18 for the week, and he's hitting just .119 in May and .225 for the year.  He has also lost his power, not having homered since April 19th, and isn't walking anymore either.  Last year he still had value even if he wasn't hitting because he would at least walk, so now that he's not hitting or walking, he's essentially worthless.  Let's just say it's pretty easy to decide who to bench to put Kubel back in the lineup.

Because Kubel is back, folks.  Hold on to your butts.