I'm changing up the Week in Review a bit here, and rather than looking sportswide at everything that's happened in the NBA so far with the crazy free agent period that's upon us and, as per usual, pointing out the five goods and the five bads. Make sense? I certainly hope so because it's pretty simple. What are you, some kind of idiot?
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis to the Miami Heat. The Heat won the championship in case you hadn't heard yet so there wasn't really a huge need to upgrade and with Lebron, Wade, and Bosh there they didn't have a whole lot of of flexibility, but they managed to upgrade in a big-time way and made the prohibitive favorite for next year even more prohibitiveable. Now instead of Shane Battier and Mike Miller taking all the open threes that are created by their offense, it's going to be Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis. For reference, Battier was a career 38% shooter going into last season (and shot 38% this year) and Miller was at 40% and hit 45% this season. Allen is a career 40% who has been 44% or better the past two years, and Lewis is a career 39%. Looking strictly at those numbers it looks like a push, but Allen is peaking as a shooter as he ages, Miller can't stay healthy and hasn't played in more than 53 games the last three years, Battier is toast as a defender, and both Allen and Lewis are defensive upgrades - for a team that's biggest asset as an overall squad was defense. Make no mistake - barring injury or an ugly "disease of more" situation there's no way Miami doesn't win the title. None. I know, I hate it too.
2. Jason Terry to the Boston Celtics. The main reason the Celtics should stay competitive next season is KG suddenly showing some resurgence and Rajon Rondo remains the most confounding and interesting and one of the most unstoppable point guards in the league. But grabbing Jason Terry to replace the newly departed Ray Allen is a pretty big reason as well. Terry doesn't shoot as well as Allen but he's not far off, and he's a better defender, scorer, and passer and, assuming they keep him in that same sixth man role he played in Dallas he brings more energy to the game when he enters than the more subdued Allen, as well as more athleticism as well - something the super old Celtics can use. The C's weren't without some questionable moves this offseason - the 3 years to KG and the holy shit huge contract they gave to Jeff Green for some reason - but Boston will be in the thick of the East when it all comes down to it. I look forward to 20 annoyingly homerrific articles on them from Bill Simmons next year.
3. Dallas Mavericks sign Elton Brand and Chris Kaman and trade for Darren Collison. The funny thing about Dallas is I'm pretty sure they didn't really expect to be rebuilt into a contender again unless they managed to sign Deron Williams, so after he re-signed with the Nets give Mark Cuban credit for making an effort rather than giving up, because it's working out. The trade for Collison might be the most important part after losing Jason Kidd to New York and not getting Williams, because although he's no great superstar Collison gives them an excellent starting point guard and they got him for basically nothing (see below). They then signed Chris Kaman to a super cheap 1-year/$8 million deal and won an amnesty bid on Elton Brand for just $2.1 million and suddenly they've remade the team without crippling themselves for the future. Given the strength of the league they aren't a serious contender most likely, but a lineup of Collison/Delonte West or Jones/Shawn Marion/Nowitzki/Kaman with Brand coming off the bench is absolutely a play-off team and probably a 4-5 seed, and then they'll have a whole mess of cap room next year to take a run at Howard or whoever. Bravo.
4. Lakers trade draft picks for Steve Nash. Yes, the problems with a Nash/Kobe pairing are apparent, but if things work out and they figure out how to make it work the Lakers become instant contenders to win the West, even if they stand pat and don't end up with Dwight Howard. And I don't see how it's not worth the gamble considering all it cost them was a few pretty worthless draft picks. No matter what you think of Kobe, and I hate him, he is a pretty savvy basketball mind and he should be able to figure out how to play off Nash. As long as his ego will allow him to become a spot-up shooter more often and let Nash work the offense it will benefit him (he can be more fresh later in the season and/or for his when he inevitably breaks out hero ball in fourth quarters), as well as Gasol and Bynum working off pick-and-rolls and post-ups. Of course this all relies on one of the most selfish players I've even seen (I'd put as more selfish than Iverson based on Iverson needing to play that way to win where Kobe could easily let Gasol and Bynum get more involved and probably make the team significantly better) realizing he needs to change if the teams going to win so it's pretty much a toss-up if it'll work, but again, it pretty much cost the Lakers nothing to make this gamble and if they win they're a good bet to end up losing in the Finals to the Heat.
5. Washington Wizards trade for Emeka Okafor and Trevor Ariza. It was a minor move in the big scheme of things, but picking up Okafor and Ariza for the bloated contract of Rashard Lewis (who was then bought out), along with last year's late trade where they picked up Nene for Javale McGee and the drafting of Bradly Beal gives them a starting five of John Wall/Beal/Ariza/Nene/Okafor, which is a definite playoff contender in the East and for a team that hasn't made the playoffs in five years and has only won a single playoff series since 1983 and hasn't won more than 26 games since 2007 it's a big step forward. Not to mention that Okafor, Ariza, and I think Nene will be dropping off the payroll in two years, which should be enough time to figure out exactly what they have in Beal and Wall and rebuild their team around those two. I don't know exactly how we ended up here, but the Wizards are doing a really great job all of a sudden. Now, they'll probably end up trading a couple of guys for Hedo Turkoglu or Spencer Hawes and then we'll be all like, "I knew it" but for now? Curiouser and curiouser.
WHO SUCKED
1. Charlotte Bobcats trade Corey Maggette to Detroit Pistons for Ben Gordon. There are a million good reasons to trade Corey Maggette. He really does nothing but score, he blocks Michael Kidd-Gilchrist's playing time, he makes too much money, and if you're trying to rebuild there's really zero reason to have him around because he's got a bit of a cancer to him as well. Thing is though, I don't know that trading him for Gordon and his $25.6 million he's still got coming his way is what makes sense. I guess he gives you shooting, which the Bobcats need and doesn't duplicate Gilchrist's skillset, and by all accounts is a good dude, and you're getting rid of Corey Maggette who is someone teams should always strive to get rid of, so maybe the Pistons made the bad end of the deal here. Actually I think they both lost.
2. Houston Rockets go all in to try to get Dwight Howard. I understand Houston trying to lure Howard there, even if its more for a rental, and then hoping he'd end up staying, but I kind of feel like once they started they didn't know how to just stop because although they've compiled a lot of assets they're all just kind of like, lame assets. A bunch of middle first round picks and a bunch of guys who drafted in middle rounds I'm not so sure do them much good. Their best asset, a Raptors first round pick, is probably going to be lottery but to get it they gave up Kyle Lowry, who might have been worth more. They've traded off pretty much the entire roster and even amnestied Luis Scola, who is no great shakes but did average 16 & 7 last season. And it looks like the upside is trading away all these assets for Howard and a whole bunch of crap like Hedo Turkoglu and Jason Richardson and the way too much money they're owed. If this works and they get Howard and can somehow convince Chris Paul to sign then this has all been a genius move. Anything else and it's been just a cluster of WTF.
3. Similarly, Orlando Magic have no clue what to do. Is the big plan now to go through a second straight season of circus? I get that it's tough to trade a guy of Howard's magnitude and that makes sense, but at some point you bite the bullet and figure it out - and don't think Howard doesn't deserve an equal portion of the blame for this crazytown as well, especially for signing his option for this year instead of just becoming a free agent. Not to mention that the places Howard seems best suited for (Lakers, Hawks) he seems to have no interest in and the places he wants to go are Brooklyn (which can't make it work) and Cleveland (wait what?) while the place that is busting there ass for him (Houston) he doesn't really want to go nor can they figure out a way to put enough players around him to both trade for him and field a competitive team. All that does is pretty much guarantee another year of same old-same old, because Brooklyn's signing of Brook Lopez kills that trade so it's either L.A., Houston, or it's another year of pussying around and figuring this shit out. But hey, the Magic resigned Jameer Nelson while letting their second best player (Ryan Anderson) walk, so sounds like a huge ole win for Magic fans. HAVE A GREAT SEASON!
4. Indiana Pacers go kind of crazy for unathletic big men. You'd think when Portland offered Roy Hibbert a max deal the Pacers would be all like, "Take 'em" and then giggle under their breath like when Dawger inevitably drafts someone like Roy Helu and then holds onto him for like six years in our keeper league just waiting for that breakout season. But instead they matched so they can pay like $1 million per blocked shot this year. Not only that, but they also drafted Miles or Mason Plumlee (I don't feel like looking it up) when Perry Jones and well, let's face it anybody other than a poor man's Cherokee Parks was available - and this is a team that already has Tyler Hansbrough. Then they traded Collison so they could get Ian Mahinmi and paid him way too much money and, in case you haven't heard of him like me, he's another center. Overall just a bizarre turn of events, especially for a team that has generally seemed to make pretty smart decisions. So maybe it'll turn out I'm wrong here, I suppose there's a first time for almost everything.
5. Phoenix Suns assemble a 20-win team. I can't figure out Phoneix's angle. They traded Nash for very little, seemingly opening up playing time for their first round pick Kendall Marshall, but then went out and signed Goran Dragic for 4 years and $36 million, apparently blocking Marshall for the length of his rookie contract. Not only will Dragic be a career back-up making starter money, but he's not a true distributor and the Suns traded him just a couple of seasons ago (along with a first round pick) for Aaron Brooks who they're now letting go in free agency. So they paid a first round pick to accomplish nothing. They then signed Michael Beasley for three years and won an amnesty bid on Luis Scola, then found out the Hornets matched their max offer to Eric Gordon and vowed to match any offer extended to Robin Lopez, he of the career averages of six points and three boards per game. I'm not suggesting I could have done better, although it wouldn't have surprised me either, but all these moves just reek of a 16-year kid playing franchise mode on NBA Live with no real concise or clear plan for rebuilding post-Nash. I suppose that shouldn't be surprising from a management group that gave huge money to both Josh Childress and Hakim Warrick and routinely sells it's first round picks for cash, but it seems like they're in on every player just because why not that's why. Now they're the leaders for OJ Mayo as well. This team makes zero sense the way it's constructed.
There's also plenty of Wolves' stuff to discuss as well, including this semi-bizarre Nic Batum showdown, but we'll get to that down the road when everything is finalized. And probably TRE will do it not me because he's way more crazy about the T-Wolves than normal people.
Finally, for those of you who believe in prayer send them this way (and if you don't, send good thoughts), I will forward them on. I don't want to say too much since it isn't my place, but someone who all regulars to the blog know well could use them right now.
Showing posts with label Dallas Mavericks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dallas Mavericks. Show all posts
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Monday, June 13, 2011
Week in Review - 6/13/2011
Guess who had Ruler on Ice to win the Belmont at 42-1? Yep. I know my only published pick (via Twitter) was Master of Hounds so you'll just have to take my word for it. That means I've nailed the winner in the last two triple crown races and my two picks finished 2nd and 3rd in the Kentucky (and I picked the winner of the derby last year). I think it's safe to say I'm awesome at handicapping horses. So I celebrated by cooking up some steaks, and I want to share the method here with you - the Alton Brown method. Simply salt and pepper your steak, then turn a burner on the stove up to high and preheat your oven at 500 degrees. Once everything is heated up, toss some olive oil in a cast iron pan and throw the steaks in there on the burner. 2-minutes each side to get a nice sear. Then throw them in the oven and go two minutes per side again (may have to adjust up or down for desired doneness). And that's it. Super simple and completely delicious, maybe even superior to using the grill. Give it a shot.
Now on to the boring part.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Francisco Liriano. He ended up losing the no-hitter and the shutout, but Franky's outing on Sunday against Texas was far, far more impressive than the actual no-hitter he threw earlier this year. He was actually hitting his spots (first time ever?), his fastball had some major tail action on it, his slider was basically unhittable, and he was even using his change-up effectively. He was perfect through six and didn't allow a hit until the 8th, which was almost inevitable after the Twins kept him on the bench for nearly a half-hour by battering a couple Texas pitchers for five runs in the bottom of the seventh in that rare occasion when you actually want your team to hurry up and get out. You could tell his rhythm was broken after that (that's on him, of course, you need to be able to adjust to that) but altogether his performance was nothing short of dominant. This version of Liriano is an ace, a game-changer, a slump stopper, and a potential playoff killer. It's just too bad we only see this version once a month or so.
2. Ben Revere. Snacks already claimed him as his new favorite player so I won't step on any toes, but man I really like Revere right now. He's not perfect or anything - he doesn't walk enough to be an elite leadoff guy, he has no power at all, and his arm would be better suited to playing second base - but what he does have is energy, speed, great center field instincts, and he's giving the team what they need - a jolt of energy. Infield hits, bunt hits, reaching base on a wild pitch after striking out, stealing bases, he's just really fun to watch. Now, I know this schtick will get old unless he learns to walk, learns to have a little power, or can hit .330, but for now you can put me in the "big fan" camp, and I think he has far more potential than Gomez. I don't know that he'll ever develop much power, but his plate discipline says he should learn to walk and he did hit over .300 at every minor league level, so I'm encouraged. Side note - I was going to sponsor his baseball-reference.com page, but some jackhole beat me to it.
3. Dallas Mavericks. It's tempting to give most of the credit for the big finals win to Dirk, but really there are a bunch of guys who carried this team at times. Terry had a monster game in the clinched and was their whole offense in the first half, Kidd was hitting his shots and running the offense as only an old man can, and Tyson Chandler had the kind of finals that makes guys millions, if only he was a free agent. Hell, even Deshawn Stevenson made a difference, both with his defense on baby soft Lebron and his 3 big 3-pointers in the first half tonight. I hate manufactured crap like "this is what happens when a real 'team' takes on 'superstars"", but for this series at least it was the truth. Miami had no answer for the fluid way Dallas played together and thank god. On a happiness scale I'm not sure if I'm happier that Dirk won or Lebron lost, but they both rank way up there.
4. Mike Leake. Welcome back, Mr. hippie surfer shoplifter, welcome back indeed. He had an insane rookie year that saw him skip the minor leagues entirely and get off to an absolutely blistering start (5-0, 2.22 ERA through early June), but since then things have been very rocky. He ended up burning out last year and was shut down in late August after he put up an ERA of almost six and a half in his next 10 starts and a disastrous move to the bullpen. This year has been rough as well with an injury, the whole shoplifting thing, his first ever minor league action, and a move to the bullpen, but things might be coming around now. Back-to-back 8 inning efforts with just two total runs allowed and and 11-to-2 strikeout to walk ratio this week. Love this guy, love everything about him, and very glad to see him back to makin' hitters look like fools, as well as seeing him back on our fantasy team.
5. Mike Moustakas. Yet another one of Kansas City's stud prospect, third baseman Mike Moustakas made his debut this past week and . Eric Hosmer looks like the real deal and Alcides Escobar is their SS of the future who is valuable even if his hitting doesn't come around, so they've got 3/4 of the infield covered. Now, Moustakas and Hosmer were generally ranked #1 and #2 in their system, so not everyone else has their pedigree, but it's notable that they have catcher covered (Wil Myers, #8 prospect in all of baseball by Keith Law) so if they can just find a few competent outfielders (I think Jarrod Dyson has a future similar to Escobar, but in CF) their future lineup should be pretty well set. The biggest question will be enough pitching will develop to make them competitive, but the minors are pretty heavily laden with big-time pitching prospects (including Danny Duffy, Jeremy Jeffress, Aaron Crow, and Tim Collins who are already up). Things better come together, because I have a $100 bet with Snacks that the Royals will win the AL Central before 2015, and god knows I can't afford to lose that kind of money. I would hate to have to choose between booze and feeding my kids. I think we all know which way that one is going to go.
WHO SUCKED
1. Colby Lewis. You remember good ole Colby, the dude who the Twins chased on Saturday after just more than an inning? You might remember him as the guy who gave up two hits each to Alexi Casilla and Delmon Young despite pitching just one and third innings. Not to mention giving up a sick number of hits/runs in between and getting run early with a final line of 1.1ip/7h/6er. Ouch. But what you might not know is that he also pitched against the Tigers earlier this week and might actually have pitched worse. Line: 3.1 ip/10 hits/9er/4 hr. Yes, that's nine earned runs and 4 homers allowed - two of which were to that piece of crap Brennan Boesch. So, in case your math skills are bad or you are a girl, that's 15 earned runs allowed in one week and that includes a game against the Twins triple A lineup. In all seriousness I really hope Mr. Lewis has been saving most of his money, because that paycheck might be drying up pretty quick here. Actually what do I care? Guy sucks. Get a real job, hippie!
2. Tim Lincecum. Since he's in the NL you probably have no idea he's been brutal. In fact, even if you're paying attention he doesn't look that bad - 3.41 ERA and 1.19 WHIP - but this week he's been completely brutal. He had two starts this week and in the longer outing he lasted five innings, and that was against the epically shitty Nationals. The Reds are at least good, but when you're Lincecum you just don't give up 7 hits and 7 runs in 4 innings to anybody - and he only struck out one guy. Very bad if you're a big fan of diminutive whirling dervish floppy haired pot-smoking hippy pitchers - or Wiley Wiggins. The good news is nerd stats (I'll spare you) don't point to anything that's significantly different that normal so this is more likely a blip on the radar rather than indicative of a Soria-style breakdown or anything, but god, getting ripped by the Nats is just freaking embarrassing. It'd be like getting busted by O'Bannion.
3. Oakland Athletics. Wow are these guys god damn awful. Look at that lineup and count the actual major league hitters. I see David DeJesus and Josh Willingham, both who would be good fourth outfielders for a team, and Coco Crisp who is a quality leadoff hitter. That's it. Their infield has to be the worst collection in the league - other contenders like Seattle and San Diego at least have one quality bat (Justin Smoak and Chase Headley), but Oakland has nothing. Throw in the injuries to starters Dallas Braden, Brett Anderson, Tyson Ross, and Brandon McCarthy and you can see why they've won just one of their last 14. Of note: they still have a better record than the Twins. FML.
4. Ryan Howard. No, not the mid-level executive from a mid-tier paper company in Pennsylvania who was addicted to cocaine and then committed fraud, I'm talking about the fat first baseman for the Phillies. You know, the guy who was inexplicably given a 5-year $125 million contract THAT DOESN'T EVEN START UNTIL NEXT SEASON despite the fact that his body type (fat to mostly fat) and playing style (high strikeout power hitter) mean that, at best, he's going to be a blacker Matt Stairs by the end of that contract. And this week was a preview, because he had three hits all week (not counting today where he had three hits and three rbi which kind of negates this point but I already typed all those words before I looked it up and saw he had a good day today). Any way the point is that Ryan Howard is fat and that was a stupid contract. Like, Mauer-stupid.
5. Lebron James. I almost feel like you could just call out the entire Heat team as sucking, but the difference is that there were games where Bosh played amazingly well (including tonight), Wade pretty much carried the team the entire series, and Lebron was straight up invisible way too often so you have to pick him as the goat. Not only did he handpick this team to win championships, but he hand picked this fucking team to win the championship. This shit was orchestrated with one goal in mind and they failed. And they didn't fail because of Wade (no surprise, the guy was nails in the playoffs and finals) and they didn't fail because of Bosh (surprisingly good this entire finals), they failed because Lebron was unable to carry the team for even small stretches and was about as valuable as that fat kid in Teen Wolf in the fourth quarter. God there is just an amazing psychology paper waiting to be written on Lebron. If I wasn't so dumb I would totally write it. That's not true. I'm too lazy. I just want to go fishing.
Lastly, just to brighten your week, here are WonderbabyTM's mad baseball skills on full display:
Now on to the boring part.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Francisco Liriano. He ended up losing the no-hitter and the shutout, but Franky's outing on Sunday against Texas was far, far more impressive than the actual no-hitter he threw earlier this year. He was actually hitting his spots (first time ever?), his fastball had some major tail action on it, his slider was basically unhittable, and he was even using his change-up effectively. He was perfect through six and didn't allow a hit until the 8th, which was almost inevitable after the Twins kept him on the bench for nearly a half-hour by battering a couple Texas pitchers for five runs in the bottom of the seventh in that rare occasion when you actually want your team to hurry up and get out. You could tell his rhythm was broken after that (that's on him, of course, you need to be able to adjust to that) but altogether his performance was nothing short of dominant. This version of Liriano is an ace, a game-changer, a slump stopper, and a potential playoff killer. It's just too bad we only see this version once a month or so.
2. Ben Revere. Snacks already claimed him as his new favorite player so I won't step on any toes, but man I really like Revere right now. He's not perfect or anything - he doesn't walk enough to be an elite leadoff guy, he has no power at all, and his arm would be better suited to playing second base - but what he does have is energy, speed, great center field instincts, and he's giving the team what they need - a jolt of energy. Infield hits, bunt hits, reaching base on a wild pitch after striking out, stealing bases, he's just really fun to watch. Now, I know this schtick will get old unless he learns to walk, learns to have a little power, or can hit .330, but for now you can put me in the "big fan" camp, and I think he has far more potential than Gomez. I don't know that he'll ever develop much power, but his plate discipline says he should learn to walk and he did hit over .300 at every minor league level, so I'm encouraged. Side note - I was going to sponsor his baseball-reference.com page, but some jackhole beat me to it.
3. Dallas Mavericks. It's tempting to give most of the credit for the big finals win to Dirk, but really there are a bunch of guys who carried this team at times. Terry had a monster game in the clinched and was their whole offense in the first half, Kidd was hitting his shots and running the offense as only an old man can, and Tyson Chandler had the kind of finals that makes guys millions, if only he was a free agent. Hell, even Deshawn Stevenson made a difference, both with his defense on baby soft Lebron and his 3 big 3-pointers in the first half tonight. I hate manufactured crap like "this is what happens when a real 'team' takes on 'superstars"", but for this series at least it was the truth. Miami had no answer for the fluid way Dallas played together and thank god. On a happiness scale I'm not sure if I'm happier that Dirk won or Lebron lost, but they both rank way up there.
4. Mike Leake. Welcome back, Mr. hippie surfer shoplifter, welcome back indeed. He had an insane rookie year that saw him skip the minor leagues entirely and get off to an absolutely blistering start (5-0, 2.22 ERA through early June), but since then things have been very rocky. He ended up burning out last year and was shut down in late August after he put up an ERA of almost six and a half in his next 10 starts and a disastrous move to the bullpen. This year has been rough as well with an injury, the whole shoplifting thing, his first ever minor league action, and a move to the bullpen, but things might be coming around now. Back-to-back 8 inning efforts with just two total runs allowed and and 11-to-2 strikeout to walk ratio this week. Love this guy, love everything about him, and very glad to see him back to makin' hitters look like fools, as well as seeing him back on our fantasy team.
5. Mike Moustakas. Yet another one of Kansas City's stud prospect, third baseman Mike Moustakas made his debut this past week and . Eric Hosmer looks like the real deal and Alcides Escobar is their SS of the future who is valuable even if his hitting doesn't come around, so they've got 3/4 of the infield covered. Now, Moustakas and Hosmer were generally ranked #1 and #2 in their system, so not everyone else has their pedigree, but it's notable that they have catcher covered (Wil Myers, #8 prospect in all of baseball by Keith Law) so if they can just find a few competent outfielders (I think Jarrod Dyson has a future similar to Escobar, but in CF) their future lineup should be pretty well set. The biggest question will be enough pitching will develop to make them competitive, but the minors are pretty heavily laden with big-time pitching prospects (including Danny Duffy, Jeremy Jeffress, Aaron Crow, and Tim Collins who are already up). Things better come together, because I have a $100 bet with Snacks that the Royals will win the AL Central before 2015, and god knows I can't afford to lose that kind of money. I would hate to have to choose between booze and feeding my kids. I think we all know which way that one is going to go.
WHO SUCKED
1. Colby Lewis. You remember good ole Colby, the dude who the Twins chased on Saturday after just more than an inning? You might remember him as the guy who gave up two hits each to Alexi Casilla and Delmon Young despite pitching just one and third innings. Not to mention giving up a sick number of hits/runs in between and getting run early with a final line of 1.1ip/7h/6er. Ouch. But what you might not know is that he also pitched against the Tigers earlier this week and might actually have pitched worse. Line: 3.1 ip/10 hits/9er/4 hr. Yes, that's nine earned runs and 4 homers allowed - two of which were to that piece of crap Brennan Boesch. So, in case your math skills are bad or you are a girl, that's 15 earned runs allowed in one week and that includes a game against the Twins triple A lineup. In all seriousness I really hope Mr. Lewis has been saving most of his money, because that paycheck might be drying up pretty quick here. Actually what do I care? Guy sucks. Get a real job, hippie!
2. Tim Lincecum. Since he's in the NL you probably have no idea he's been brutal. In fact, even if you're paying attention he doesn't look that bad - 3.41 ERA and 1.19 WHIP - but this week he's been completely brutal. He had two starts this week and in the longer outing he lasted five innings, and that was against the epically shitty Nationals. The Reds are at least good, but when you're Lincecum you just don't give up 7 hits and 7 runs in 4 innings to anybody - and he only struck out one guy. Very bad if you're a big fan of diminutive whirling dervish floppy haired pot-smoking hippy pitchers - or Wiley Wiggins. The good news is nerd stats (I'll spare you) don't point to anything that's significantly different that normal so this is more likely a blip on the radar rather than indicative of a Soria-style breakdown or anything, but god, getting ripped by the Nats is just freaking embarrassing. It'd be like getting busted by O'Bannion.
3. Oakland Athletics. Wow are these guys god damn awful. Look at that lineup and count the actual major league hitters. I see David DeJesus and Josh Willingham, both who would be good fourth outfielders for a team, and Coco Crisp who is a quality leadoff hitter. That's it. Their infield has to be the worst collection in the league - other contenders like Seattle and San Diego at least have one quality bat (Justin Smoak and Chase Headley), but Oakland has nothing. Throw in the injuries to starters Dallas Braden, Brett Anderson, Tyson Ross, and Brandon McCarthy and you can see why they've won just one of their last 14. Of note: they still have a better record than the Twins. FML.
4. Ryan Howard. No, not the mid-level executive from a mid-tier paper company in Pennsylvania who was addicted to cocaine and then committed fraud, I'm talking about the fat first baseman for the Phillies. You know, the guy who was inexplicably given a 5-year $125 million contract THAT DOESN'T EVEN START UNTIL NEXT SEASON despite the fact that his body type (fat to mostly fat) and playing style (high strikeout power hitter) mean that, at best, he's going to be a blacker Matt Stairs by the end of that contract. And this week was a preview, because he had three hits all week (not counting today where he had three hits and three rbi which kind of negates this point but I already typed all those words before I looked it up and saw he had a good day today). Any way the point is that Ryan Howard is fat and that was a stupid contract. Like, Mauer-stupid.
5. Lebron James. I almost feel like you could just call out the entire Heat team as sucking, but the difference is that there were games where Bosh played amazingly well (including tonight), Wade pretty much carried the team the entire series, and Lebron was straight up invisible way too often so you have to pick him as the goat. Not only did he handpick this team to win championships, but he hand picked this fucking team to win the championship. This shit was orchestrated with one goal in mind and they failed. And they didn't fail because of Wade (no surprise, the guy was nails in the playoffs and finals) and they didn't fail because of Bosh (surprisingly good this entire finals), they failed because Lebron was unable to carry the team for even small stretches and was about as valuable as that fat kid in Teen Wolf in the fourth quarter. God there is just an amazing psychology paper waiting to be written on Lebron. If I wasn't so dumb I would totally write it. That's not true. I'm too lazy. I just want to go fishing.
Lastly, just to brighten your week, here are WonderbabyTM's mad baseball skills on full display:
Sunday, June 5, 2011
NBA Game 3. And Go.
I mostly covered everything that was interesting that happened this week in this post from Friday, so I won't rehash with a Week in Review post. Instead I'll do sort of a running blog of the NBA game and mention anything from this weekend that pops into my head. And you're going to sit there and like it.
- First off I'm going to come right out and admit that today was an awful gambling night, one of the worst I can recall in recent memory. If I haven't already told you this, my main gambling during baseball season is to spend time analyzing the player props and making the proper picks based on what my math says are the best plays. So far this season (since a formula tweak in mid-May) the system has been +16.08 units, with only three losing days. Then this weekend it went -1.31 units, -0.48 units, and today was -3.46 units, easily the worst gambling day of the baseball season. Doesn't feel good. With three straight losing days my confidence is shaken right now. Stay tuned.
- That being said, I could take today from a disaster to just a bad day by doing well on NBA props. Here's what I'm going with: Both teams combined under 14 made 3s, Chandler over 17.5 pts+rebs, Bosh over 8.5 rebs, Nowitzki over 7.5 made FTs, Terry over 1.5 made 3s, and Lebron over 1.5 made 3s. It's gonna be a bad night either way, but if I can at least hit a majority of these I can mitigate it. I really don't want to have to deposit again. Sending a $500 Western Union moneygram to Manuel in the Philippines makes me feel icky.
- I should also mention I'll just be doing the second half of the NBA game because I missed the first half. Looking at the box score the Heat are up 5 at half and every single one of my bets is in absolutely terrible shape. Good. Great. Grand. Wonderful.
- I guess if I'm going to talk sports I need to start with the Twins since they just swept the royals in a four game series. I suppose it's tempting to think they may have righted the ship, and with Cleveland getting swept in four by Texas and the second place team barely hovering around .500 that they have a shot, but lets look a little deeper. The offense in this four-gamer was driven by Revere-Rivera-Tolbert in Game 1, Span-Young-Revere-Hughes-Butera in game 2, Revere-Casilla-Tolbert in Game 3, and Casilla-Repko-Hughes in Game 4. Do we really think those guys are that good, or was this lightning in a bottle? And is the pitching, which held the Royals to 6 runs in the four games, suddenly clicking or is KC just that bad? I hate to say it, but I think this was more the demise of 2011 Kansas City more than the resurgence of the Twins. Haters gonna hate.
- I love this Maverick team. Miami scored 8 straight to open the half and drove their lead to 15. So the Mavs just said, "ok" and made smart plays, smart passes, and good shots while Miami acted like a bunch of idiots and suddenly the lead is just 7. Also I hate the Miami Heat and Cameron Diaz.
- Hottest player in ball not named Michael Morse: Jose Reyes of the Mets. He's 2-3 with a double with 2 runs and a ribbie tonight, which is his 10th straight game with a hit and his 12th multi-hit game in his last 18. I'm going to write that again - he's had more than one hit in 12 of his last 18 games. Before this Royals' series I don't know if the Twins had 12 multi-hit games by a player all year.
- Yeah here's the problem with my Lebron over 1.5 made three pointers bet. I forgot that he can't shoot for shit.
- I really like Tyson Chandler. I mean, offensively he's a bit retarded, but he just blocked two shots and then saved a ball back to his team by diving out of bounds. The guy is the perfect kind of building block guy for a team. Excellent defender, excellent rebounder, doesn't need to score but can put it in the hoop if he's close enough, but doesn't give a crap for scoring. Not exactly what you'd want out of the #2 pick in the draft but considering Dallas got him basically straight up for Eduardo Najera I'd call that a steal. Also, Mavs now lead.
- James for three!!!! I mean oh crap. I mean good. I'm so conflicted.
- Terry for three!!!!! Good! I mean good!!!
- By the way, I also have a pretty good chunk of change on both Wade for MVP and Dirk for MVP. If Lebron wins it I'm probably going to have to sell at least one car.
- I know what you're thinking: didn't this used to be a Gopher blog? And yes, it still is, but I know I haven't done much on the basketball team but really you should just shut up because it's the off-season and also you're being kind of rude. But, very quickly, here is a very short rundown of the 5 unsigned players for 2012 that Rivals says the Gophers have offered:
- Uglier jumper: Shawn Marion or random WNBAer? No, you're right that's not fair. Shawn Marion or random women's high school player?
- So how about that Blake Lively?
- I love it when Miami is stupid and leaves Dirk open for three (it's now 70-70 with 10 minutes to go). On this one Dirk set a pick for J.J. Barea and both Chalmers and Haslem fall all over themselves to chase Barea and Wade doesn't even take a step out of the corner to rotate off of Terry. Dirk open. Dirk make. Game tied. Except Bosh just dunked on an absolutely gorgeous pass from Lebron. I really wish he wasn't such a doosh. Such a great passer. Fourth best passer ever at that height: Magic, Bird, Penny.
- You know what I really hate? Restaurants that automatically put lemon in your water. Is this the default now? Is lemon in water so freaking popular with people that it's just assumed everybody loves it? Because guess what? I hate it. New rule: from now on every time there's a freaking lemon in my water without my being asked I'm going to pour the damn thing out on the floor. Join me, won't you? Like they say in all those commercials with sad music and sad animals and sad babies or whatever, "Together, we can make a difference." END LEMON WATER NOW!!!!
- Ha ha go to hell Lebron.
- Lebron has now been called for both a travel and a double dribble in the last five minutes. Also if bitching to the refs was an olympic event they'd just skip gold and give him a platinum. He's like if the Yankees and Kobe Bryant had a kid. What if this thing was Lakers/Heat? I'm pretty sure I'd be going Heat because I like Wade but god, talk about Sophie's Choice of douchery.
- The Mavs have missed about 7 threes in the last 1 minute. I don't like how this is going. Heat up 6 with 4 to play.
- Who the hell is Joel Anthony and why are we pronouncing his name Jo-El? Is that' Superman's dad?
- So I watched the original Tron the other day for the first time in at least 20 years. It was really, really stupid. Yet we get a long-awaited sequel to that and I"m still sitting here waiting for Jurassic Park 4. That's really fair. Although the last rumor I heard for a fourth Jurassic Park was military trained raptors with weapons strapped to their backs (I'm not kidding, that was a legit serious script) so maybe we just hold steady at three, which was actually one too many. Really? Raptors, which have been held up as the smartest of all dinosaurs through the entire trilogy, are going to suddenly NOT eat Dr. Grant and that kid because they blow air through a raptor skull? And do we really need to bring in a bigger badass than the T-Rex? I think he was doing just fine, thanks. Go to hell, movie. Go to hell. At least we got Pterodactyls.
- FACT: Jason Kidd cannot guard Dwyane Wade. Also FACT: Dwyane Wade's mom can't spell for shit.
- Ha ha Lebron you donkey ass face!!!
- Jason Terry has now missed 3 three-pointers, anyone of which would win me a bet. I don't care if I lose all my bets if Dallas wins, but if Miami wins and I get cleaned out I'm going to be VERY unhappy.
- Well the Heat won and I went 1-5 on my game bets. Really just a fabulous day. I'm never posting again.
- Since I'm quitting blogging this will be the last thing I ever write on here, but I do need give a little shout-out to Mrs. W, who ran an entire half-marathon today, while I'm still tired today from mowing half the lawn yesterday. Way to go, baby, and I know you are disappointed in 2:28, but I think it's pretty damn amazing, and I love that even after that you can still give me a look like I'm an idiot when I want to take your picture.
- First off I'm going to come right out and admit that today was an awful gambling night, one of the worst I can recall in recent memory. If I haven't already told you this, my main gambling during baseball season is to spend time analyzing the player props and making the proper picks based on what my math says are the best plays. So far this season (since a formula tweak in mid-May) the system has been +16.08 units, with only three losing days. Then this weekend it went -1.31 units, -0.48 units, and today was -3.46 units, easily the worst gambling day of the baseball season. Doesn't feel good. With three straight losing days my confidence is shaken right now. Stay tuned.
- That being said, I could take today from a disaster to just a bad day by doing well on NBA props. Here's what I'm going with: Both teams combined under 14 made 3s, Chandler over 17.5 pts+rebs, Bosh over 8.5 rebs, Nowitzki over 7.5 made FTs, Terry over 1.5 made 3s, and Lebron over 1.5 made 3s. It's gonna be a bad night either way, but if I can at least hit a majority of these I can mitigate it. I really don't want to have to deposit again. Sending a $500 Western Union moneygram to Manuel in the Philippines makes me feel icky.
- I should also mention I'll just be doing the second half of the NBA game because I missed the first half. Looking at the box score the Heat are up 5 at half and every single one of my bets is in absolutely terrible shape. Good. Great. Grand. Wonderful.
- I guess if I'm going to talk sports I need to start with the Twins since they just swept the royals in a four game series. I suppose it's tempting to think they may have righted the ship, and with Cleveland getting swept in four by Texas and the second place team barely hovering around .500 that they have a shot, but lets look a little deeper. The offense in this four-gamer was driven by Revere-Rivera-Tolbert in Game 1, Span-Young-Revere-Hughes-Butera in game 2, Revere-Casilla-Tolbert in Game 3, and Casilla-Repko-Hughes in Game 4. Do we really think those guys are that good, or was this lightning in a bottle? And is the pitching, which held the Royals to 6 runs in the four games, suddenly clicking or is KC just that bad? I hate to say it, but I think this was more the demise of 2011 Kansas City more than the resurgence of the Twins. Haters gonna hate.
- I love this Maverick team. Miami scored 8 straight to open the half and drove their lead to 15. So the Mavs just said, "ok" and made smart plays, smart passes, and good shots while Miami acted like a bunch of idiots and suddenly the lead is just 7. Also I hate the Miami Heat and Cameron Diaz.
- Hottest player in ball not named Michael Morse: Jose Reyes of the Mets. He's 2-3 with a double with 2 runs and a ribbie tonight, which is his 10th straight game with a hit and his 12th multi-hit game in his last 18. I'm going to write that again - he's had more than one hit in 12 of his last 18 games. Before this Royals' series I don't know if the Twins had 12 multi-hit games by a player all year.
- Yeah here's the problem with my Lebron over 1.5 made three pointers bet. I forgot that he can't shoot for shit.
- I really like Tyson Chandler. I mean, offensively he's a bit retarded, but he just blocked two shots and then saved a ball back to his team by diving out of bounds. The guy is the perfect kind of building block guy for a team. Excellent defender, excellent rebounder, doesn't need to score but can put it in the hoop if he's close enough, but doesn't give a crap for scoring. Not exactly what you'd want out of the #2 pick in the draft but considering Dallas got him basically straight up for Eduardo Najera I'd call that a steal. Also, Mavs now lead.
- James for three!!!! I mean oh crap. I mean good. I'm so conflicted.
- Terry for three!!!!! Good! I mean good!!!
- By the way, I also have a pretty good chunk of change on both Wade for MVP and Dirk for MVP. If Lebron wins it I'm probably going to have to sell at least one car.
- I know what you're thinking: didn't this used to be a Gopher blog? And yes, it still is, but I know I haven't done much on the basketball team but really you should just shut up because it's the off-season and also you're being kind of rude. But, very quickly, here is a very short rundown of the 5 unsigned players for 2012 that Rivals says the Gophers have offered:
- SG Gary Harris (Fishers, Indiana - #6 SG, #26 overall) - Very good player with a lot of quality midwestern offers including Indiana, Michigan State, Purdue, and Louisville. He's not coming here.
- C A.J. Hammons (Mouth of Wilson, VA - #11 C, #55 overall) - a strong season has teams like Ohio State, Kentucky, and Purdue looking at him. None of those teams have offered yet, but if he doesn't sign with Minnesota fairly soon it may be too late.
- G Javontae Hawkins (Flint, MI - #18 SG, #92 overall) - he's from Flint but Izzo doesn't want him so that's kind of weird. He lists Ohio State, Michigan, USC, and West Virginia as the leaders (all have offered) and the Gophers are lumped with about 15 other teams behind them. Outlook: not likely.
- SF Demarquise Johnson (Phoenix, AZ - #28 SF, #122 overall) - Tubby is after him very hard, but he sounds like he's looking to stay on the west coast. This is the guy I really want - he's athletic and can score from in or out. Like everything I'm hearing about him.
- PF Khaliq Spicer (Dearborn Heights, MI - unranked) - Gophers are competing with a couple of crappy MAC and crappy A-10 teams (like Dayton) for his services, so it's either a diamond-in-the-rough situation or a reminder that the Gophers suck. Sounds like he's a pretty good athlete, but also pretty raw, who would be that sweet ass rebounder and shot-blocker whose scoring range is "dunk." I love that kind of guy, as long as he's a complimentary part of the class, not the focal point.
- Uglier jumper: Shawn Marion or random WNBAer? No, you're right that's not fair. Shawn Marion or random women's high school player?
- So how about that Blake Lively?
- I love it when Miami is stupid and leaves Dirk open for three (it's now 70-70 with 10 minutes to go). On this one Dirk set a pick for J.J. Barea and both Chalmers and Haslem fall all over themselves to chase Barea and Wade doesn't even take a step out of the corner to rotate off of Terry. Dirk open. Dirk make. Game tied. Except Bosh just dunked on an absolutely gorgeous pass from Lebron. I really wish he wasn't such a doosh. Such a great passer. Fourth best passer ever at that height: Magic, Bird, Penny.
- You know what I really hate? Restaurants that automatically put lemon in your water. Is this the default now? Is lemon in water so freaking popular with people that it's just assumed everybody loves it? Because guess what? I hate it. New rule: from now on every time there's a freaking lemon in my water without my being asked I'm going to pour the damn thing out on the floor. Join me, won't you? Like they say in all those commercials with sad music and sad animals and sad babies or whatever, "Together, we can make a difference." END LEMON WATER NOW!!!!
- Ha ha go to hell Lebron.
- Lebron has now been called for both a travel and a double dribble in the last five minutes. Also if bitching to the refs was an olympic event they'd just skip gold and give him a platinum. He's like if the Yankees and Kobe Bryant had a kid. What if this thing was Lakers/Heat? I'm pretty sure I'd be going Heat because I like Wade but god, talk about Sophie's Choice of douchery.
- The Mavs have missed about 7 threes in the last 1 minute. I don't like how this is going. Heat up 6 with 4 to play.
- Who the hell is Joel Anthony and why are we pronouncing his name Jo-El? Is that' Superman's dad?
- So I watched the original Tron the other day for the first time in at least 20 years. It was really, really stupid. Yet we get a long-awaited sequel to that and I"m still sitting here waiting for Jurassic Park 4. That's really fair. Although the last rumor I heard for a fourth Jurassic Park was military trained raptors with weapons strapped to their backs (I'm not kidding, that was a legit serious script) so maybe we just hold steady at three, which was actually one too many. Really? Raptors, which have been held up as the smartest of all dinosaurs through the entire trilogy, are going to suddenly NOT eat Dr. Grant and that kid because they blow air through a raptor skull? And do we really need to bring in a bigger badass than the T-Rex? I think he was doing just fine, thanks. Go to hell, movie. Go to hell. At least we got Pterodactyls.
- FACT: Jason Kidd cannot guard Dwyane Wade. Also FACT: Dwyane Wade's mom can't spell for shit.
- Ha ha Lebron you donkey ass face!!!
- Jason Terry has now missed 3 three-pointers, anyone of which would win me a bet. I don't care if I lose all my bets if Dallas wins, but if Miami wins and I get cleaned out I'm going to be VERY unhappy.
- Well the Heat won and I went 1-5 on my game bets. Really just a fabulous day. I'm never posting again.
- Since I'm quitting blogging this will be the last thing I ever write on here, but I do need give a little shout-out to Mrs. W, who ran an entire half-marathon today, while I'm still tired today from mowing half the lawn yesterday. Way to go, baby, and I know you are disappointed in 2:28, but I think it's pretty damn amazing, and I love that even after that you can still give me a look like I'm an idiot when I want to take your picture.
Friday, June 3, 2011
6 Very Important Things so far this week
Man what a crazy week for me (thus the lack of posting). Monday was Memorial Day, then Tuesday I had a fancy work dinner (sashimi style short rib with miso and wasabi appetizer, apple, cheese, and chive salad, and sea bass with a miso glaze), last night was a happy hour that went until 9pm, and tonight was softball. Since I haven't been around this week, I'm forcing myself to post to just make you happy. And what better way than the good ole 6 things format.
1. I have a bad feeling about this, but Rubio's coming to town. I'm sure it makes everybody happy that he's actually coming, but the shine is definitely off this kid. He's gone from the hottest amateur player in the world who everybody wanted to a huge question mark who probably wouldn't even be a lottery pick now. I guess that'll happen when you fail to develop a jump shot and average 6.5 pts and 3.2 assists in EuroLeague. That's not a misprint, those are his stats this year. His career bests in any league are 10.2 pts and 5.8 assists. I know he's young and I know Euro stats don't really translate over here, but that's really underwhelming. It will be an interesting test of statistics vs. perception because a lot of people are still raving about the kid. Not as much as two years ago, but a lot of people still love him. Of course, on the Wolves even if he's the next Chris Paul that would just take them from 17 wins to 23, but at least they should be more fun to watch. At this point I assume Rubio is basically like The Professor:
2. The Twins actually won, and won easily. It seems shockingly unlikely but the Twins managed to score 8 runs in a game and beat KC 8-2. Of course, six of those runs came in the same inning and were off Sean O'Sullivan (or Sean O'Suckivan as I like to call him when I'm drunk) so in reality the offense was generally it's usually inept self. I'd love to write more but I have to be honest and tell you I didn't watch a single pitch. But I bet Casilla did something dumb, Span took a poor route on a fly ball, Delmon did something lazy, Cuddyer chased a slider low and away, and whoever was catching hit a bunch of weak ground balls. Close?
3. Speaking of the Twins, Dan Gladden is quickly becoming the worst announcer in town. For some reason I've found myself in positions where I'm listening to a lot of the Twins' games on the radio this year and I'm realizing that there are a ton of reasons to dislike Dan Gladden beyond his hair and the fact that he goes by "Dazzle" (as if you needed more reasons besides those, amirite?). Last night I was lucky enough to hear a gem. He argued stenuously that the shift the Royals (and everybody else) puts on for Morneau is unnecessary, doesn't make sense, and is "trying to recreate something" (that one is my favorite because I seriously can't make heads or tails of what he's trying to say). The reason is because according to Dazzle, Morneau "can hit the ball either way just as well." Really, dummy? Good thing we can look stuff like this up and see that he's hitting .373 when he pulls the ball and .185 when he goes to left. Same story, year after year, he's far better pulling the ball than going to left. Gladden had another one too, but now I can't remember. Just assume it was really dumb and incorrect. Also if you put "Dan Gladden sucks" into google image search 9 of the first 36 images that pop up are from here. I haven't been this proud since I was teh second site to pop up if you googled "suck my crank."
4. In a kind of "holy shit" game, Dallas stole one. Game 2 looked like it was the Heat's the whole way, and when Dwyane Wade hit a three with 7 minutes to go to put the Heat up 15 it felt over. And it was clear Miami felt the same way because they got lazy on defense and sloppy on offense. One problem - Dallas is a team full of veterans, and they don't just go away. Six straight out of Jason Terry, a couple miscellaneous buckets, two points out of the Heat, and Dirk taking over and bam - we're tied at 90 with 57 seconds to go. Dirk hits a wide open three that's then answered by Mario Chalmers, then the Mavs play for the last shot and Dirky goes right around Bosh for an easy lay-up - ballgame. Huge huge win for Dallas, because they aren't going to sweep at home which means they'll likely head back to Miami up 3-2 with two chances to win the whole thing. And I hope they do. Because the Heat are a bunch of jackasses - especially Mike Miller and his new ridiculous full arm shooting sleeve. And I used to like the guy, too. Turns out you just shouldn't like anybody from any of the Dakotas. They're all terrible people.
5. Rest in Peace, Fu-Schnickens. The man of a billion nicknames (Big Aristotle and Shaq-fu were always my favorites) is calling it an NBA career, and leaving behind some serious numbers: Fifth all-time in scoring, 12th in rebounding, and 2nd in field goal percentage. He doesn't get the credit he deserves because a lot of people credit his success simply to his size and ability to muscle people out of the way, but for a long time he really was an incredible athlete with excellent footwork (although that started going bye-bye when he got less and less interested in staying in shape). He's probably a top 10 all-time player, a completely dominant force, and belongs with Jabbar, Russell, and Chamberlain (apologies to my favorite, Hakeem) as the best big man of all time. Don't forget that he also was one of the dominant players on NBA Jam in the Arcade, and single-handedly changed how basketball hoops were made. I still remember watching this moment as a kid and being completely stunned that someone could do this.
6. Ohio State is a bunch of cheating cheaters. I mean, we all know that everybody cheats, just some people are better at it than others. Jim Tressel, now forced into resigning, was one of the best, capturing about a billion Big Ten championships, a national title (stolen from Miami), and doing it all while maintaining a squeaky clean image thanks to his nerdy sweater vest (note: Snacks and Bogart both love to wear sweater vests). Now it's all come crashing down, the stories are all over the web and Sports Illustrated, Tressel is out and Terrell Pryor is almost certain to follow, and since the NCAA looks at lying about violations the ultimate evil Ohio State's program won't escape unscathed. To this I say "Who cares?"
Seriously though, how enjoyable was that ride for Buckeye fans? Top of the world for like 10 years. It's like the Gopher hoops run to the Final Four under Clem. We were all there, we all saw it, we all loved it. Just because the NCAA says it didn't happen doesn't mean it didn't happen (at least until the mass mind eraser technology gets up to code). The scandal came out, the program tumbled (deeply), but would you trade that Final Four run + the dark years for a whole bunch of seasons of mediocrity instead just because it was done "cleanly?" Do me a favor and if you answered yes to that question go light your bible on fire and then try to put it out with your face.
Honestly I just don't understand people who get all pissed if their favorite school is doing something shady or if the players on the team aren't pure as the first snow of winter falling on a baby's bottom while a choir of cherub-faced third graders sing hallelujah as written by Jeff Buckley and played when Marisa Cooper died. I don't watch college sports and cheer for the player with the highest GPA - that's why they don't sell tickets to watch players take a chemistry test. I want to win and I don't care how. If the Gophers could sneak six players on the court at a time and nobody would notice I'd be all for it. If every single player on the Gophers ended up in jail the year after they ran out of eligibility I wouldn't bat an eye. You know why? Because I don't know these guys as people - they could be good guys, bad guys, medium guys, gentlemen, assholes, or sell knives door-to-door on the side and not only would I not know but I wouldn't care. Win. Just win. That's what I'm there for and it's what they're there for. The hope would be that they take advantage of the free ride and get their degree in communications but if they don't IT DOESN'T MATTER TO MY LIFE EITHER WAY. Graduation rates are completely meaningless. In fact, if your graduation rate is too high you're probably doing it wrong.
I hate John Calipari because he's slimy, but he wins. If the Gophers next coach cheats his ass off for five years without getting caught and gets the Gophers to the Final Four and close another couple of times and then gets busted I will sing his praises to the high heavens, just like I did and continue to do with Clem.
Just win, baby. Just win.
By the way, I wrote this entire post while drinking warm PBR from a cup with ice. Classy, right?
1. I have a bad feeling about this, but Rubio's coming to town. I'm sure it makes everybody happy that he's actually coming, but the shine is definitely off this kid. He's gone from the hottest amateur player in the world who everybody wanted to a huge question mark who probably wouldn't even be a lottery pick now. I guess that'll happen when you fail to develop a jump shot and average 6.5 pts and 3.2 assists in EuroLeague. That's not a misprint, those are his stats this year. His career bests in any league are 10.2 pts and 5.8 assists. I know he's young and I know Euro stats don't really translate over here, but that's really underwhelming. It will be an interesting test of statistics vs. perception because a lot of people are still raving about the kid. Not as much as two years ago, but a lot of people still love him. Of course, on the Wolves even if he's the next Chris Paul that would just take them from 17 wins to 23, but at least they should be more fun to watch. At this point I assume Rubio is basically like The Professor:
2. The Twins actually won, and won easily. It seems shockingly unlikely but the Twins managed to score 8 runs in a game and beat KC 8-2. Of course, six of those runs came in the same inning and were off Sean O'Sullivan (or Sean O'Suckivan as I like to call him when I'm drunk) so in reality the offense was generally it's usually inept self. I'd love to write more but I have to be honest and tell you I didn't watch a single pitch. But I bet Casilla did something dumb, Span took a poor route on a fly ball, Delmon did something lazy, Cuddyer chased a slider low and away, and whoever was catching hit a bunch of weak ground balls. Close?
3. Speaking of the Twins, Dan Gladden is quickly becoming the worst announcer in town. For some reason I've found myself in positions where I'm listening to a lot of the Twins' games on the radio this year and I'm realizing that there are a ton of reasons to dislike Dan Gladden beyond his hair and the fact that he goes by "Dazzle" (as if you needed more reasons besides those, amirite?). Last night I was lucky enough to hear a gem. He argued stenuously that the shift the Royals (and everybody else) puts on for Morneau is unnecessary, doesn't make sense, and is "trying to recreate something" (that one is my favorite because I seriously can't make heads or tails of what he's trying to say). The reason is because according to Dazzle, Morneau "can hit the ball either way just as well." Really, dummy? Good thing we can look stuff like this up and see that he's hitting .373 when he pulls the ball and .185 when he goes to left. Same story, year after year, he's far better pulling the ball than going to left. Gladden had another one too, but now I can't remember. Just assume it was really dumb and incorrect. Also if you put "Dan Gladden sucks" into google image search 9 of the first 36 images that pop up are from here. I haven't been this proud since I was teh second site to pop up if you googled "suck my crank."
4. In a kind of "holy shit" game, Dallas stole one. Game 2 looked like it was the Heat's the whole way, and when Dwyane Wade hit a three with 7 minutes to go to put the Heat up 15 it felt over. And it was clear Miami felt the same way because they got lazy on defense and sloppy on offense. One problem - Dallas is a team full of veterans, and they don't just go away. Six straight out of Jason Terry, a couple miscellaneous buckets, two points out of the Heat, and Dirk taking over and bam - we're tied at 90 with 57 seconds to go. Dirk hits a wide open three that's then answered by Mario Chalmers, then the Mavs play for the last shot and Dirky goes right around Bosh for an easy lay-up - ballgame. Huge huge win for Dallas, because they aren't going to sweep at home which means they'll likely head back to Miami up 3-2 with two chances to win the whole thing. And I hope they do. Because the Heat are a bunch of jackasses - especially Mike Miller and his new ridiculous full arm shooting sleeve. And I used to like the guy, too. Turns out you just shouldn't like anybody from any of the Dakotas. They're all terrible people.
5. Rest in Peace, Fu-Schnickens. The man of a billion nicknames (Big Aristotle and Shaq-fu were always my favorites) is calling it an NBA career, and leaving behind some serious numbers: Fifth all-time in scoring, 12th in rebounding, and 2nd in field goal percentage. He doesn't get the credit he deserves because a lot of people credit his success simply to his size and ability to muscle people out of the way, but for a long time he really was an incredible athlete with excellent footwork (although that started going bye-bye when he got less and less interested in staying in shape). He's probably a top 10 all-time player, a completely dominant force, and belongs with Jabbar, Russell, and Chamberlain (apologies to my favorite, Hakeem) as the best big man of all time. Don't forget that he also was one of the dominant players on NBA Jam in the Arcade, and single-handedly changed how basketball hoops were made. I still remember watching this moment as a kid and being completely stunned that someone could do this.
6. Ohio State is a bunch of cheating cheaters. I mean, we all know that everybody cheats, just some people are better at it than others. Jim Tressel, now forced into resigning, was one of the best, capturing about a billion Big Ten championships, a national title (stolen from Miami), and doing it all while maintaining a squeaky clean image thanks to his nerdy sweater vest (note: Snacks and Bogart both love to wear sweater vests). Now it's all come crashing down, the stories are all over the web and Sports Illustrated, Tressel is out and Terrell Pryor is almost certain to follow, and since the NCAA looks at lying about violations the ultimate evil Ohio State's program won't escape unscathed. To this I say "Who cares?"
Seriously though, how enjoyable was that ride for Buckeye fans? Top of the world for like 10 years. It's like the Gopher hoops run to the Final Four under Clem. We were all there, we all saw it, we all loved it. Just because the NCAA says it didn't happen doesn't mean it didn't happen (at least until the mass mind eraser technology gets up to code). The scandal came out, the program tumbled (deeply), but would you trade that Final Four run + the dark years for a whole bunch of seasons of mediocrity instead just because it was done "cleanly?" Do me a favor and if you answered yes to that question go light your bible on fire and then try to put it out with your face.
Honestly I just don't understand people who get all pissed if their favorite school is doing something shady or if the players on the team aren't pure as the first snow of winter falling on a baby's bottom while a choir of cherub-faced third graders sing hallelujah as written by Jeff Buckley and played when Marisa Cooper died. I don't watch college sports and cheer for the player with the highest GPA - that's why they don't sell tickets to watch players take a chemistry test. I want to win and I don't care how. If the Gophers could sneak six players on the court at a time and nobody would notice I'd be all for it. If every single player on the Gophers ended up in jail the year after they ran out of eligibility I wouldn't bat an eye. You know why? Because I don't know these guys as people - they could be good guys, bad guys, medium guys, gentlemen, assholes, or sell knives door-to-door on the side and not only would I not know but I wouldn't care. Win. Just win. That's what I'm there for and it's what they're there for. The hope would be that they take advantage of the free ride and get their degree in communications but if they don't IT DOESN'T MATTER TO MY LIFE EITHER WAY. Graduation rates are completely meaningless. In fact, if your graduation rate is too high you're probably doing it wrong.
I hate John Calipari because he's slimy, but he wins. If the Gophers next coach cheats his ass off for five years without getting caught and gets the Gophers to the Final Four and close another couple of times and then gets busted I will sing his praises to the high heavens, just like I did and continue to do with Clem.
Just win, baby. Just win.
By the way, I wrote this entire post while drinking warm PBR from a cup with ice. Classy, right?
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Six Very Important Things from Last Night - 05/26/2011
What's that? A post in the patented "6 Things" format? Righteous! Well aren't you lucky. And go:
1. The Twins still suck. This time it was Erik Bedard who shut them down, causing Gardenhire to say retarded Gardenhire things like "filthy", "great stuff", and "guys were swinging and missing by a foot." Now that last one might be true, but I'd say it had more to do with the Twins being terrible, terrible, terrible at hitting than anything to do with Erik Bedard. The same Bedard who hasn't been filthy - or pitched in the majors - since 2009 and was lit up by both the Indians and Royals earlier this year. I will admit he's been pretty solid lately, but I refuse to give him any credit or any pitcher who shuts down the Twins any credit because these guys are god damn terrible. They have two guys hitting above .270, only 5 guys with an OBP over .300, and 3 guys slugging over .400 and two of those are part-timers (Plouffe, Thome). To be completely honest with you, I'm pretty sure Ila Borders could start and would allow less than 3 runs to these cream puffs.
2. Zack Attack is back, Jack. In news that feels AL Central related but isn't, Zack Greinke finally put together a vintage Zack Greinke performance yesterday afternoon going seven strong innings, striking out 10 and allowing just a 3-run homer to Mike Morse (note: who? his name may not actually be Mike. I didn't look it up.) to wreck a very nice day. And, just to add on to his re-breakout performance, he also hit a ding dong which gave the Brewers a 4-3 lead. It was Greinke's first time throwing 100 pitches since returning from injury, and he looked damn good. This now gives the Brewers a very good rotation on paper: Greinke, Marcum, Narveson, Wolf, and Gallardo, except not on paper Marcum is the only one whose been worth a damn. Luckily their offense has been good enough to keep them just 2.5 games out of first. If Greinke has it together it's going to be huge for them. Of course, as soon as the Milwaukee media starts asking tough questions he'll probably crumple into fetal position and cry to his mom.
3. The future may be bleak. ESPN came out with their first set of team recruiting rankings for 2012 and of the top 10 (that's all they rank) you'll find four Big Ten teams. Indiana is #1 (fo real) with four ESPN top 100 guys already signed, highlighted by big time PG Kevin Farrell and some weirdo with the first name Hanner. Michigan State is ranked #3 with some highly rated white dudes, Purdue is #8 with a handful of really good back court players, and Michigan ranks tenth with Glenn Robinson's kid and the second coming of Jon Deibler. The Gophers' list of 2012 commits? Zero. Joy.
4. This happened Tuesday night, but what happened to Derrick Rose? I know he's basically the reason the Bulls have gotten as far as they have, but whoa how bad did he choke in that game? He couldn't hit anything most of the game, but saved his most special screw-ups for crunch time - a great trait in your crunch time player. First he made only one of two free throws with just over a minute left and the Bulls down by one. Then, he missed a mid-range jumper that would have given the Bulls the lead with 28 seconds left, and followed that up by by air-balling the potential game winner at the end of regulation by forcing a fade away weird forced thing. Then, in overtime, he failed to score a single point (and only managed one shot) and committed a crucial turnover with just over a minute left and the Bulls down 4. There's no doubt he's one of the five best young players in the NBA, but watching that game was like watching Chris Webber call that timeout again, but stretched out for an entire half + overtime.
5. Speaking of the NBA, Kobe must want full control of the Lakers. I can't think of any other reason the team would hire Mike freaking Brown, who is most famous for failing to get the most out of Lebron James and helping hasten his departure out of town, helping to turn Cleveland into even more of a wasteland than it already was, but without their one shining hope - like what would happen to Fargo if some intrepid young soul was to burn NDSU to the ground. Basically his entire idea of coaching offense is to give the ball to his star and just let him and wait a minute I totally get it. Kobe would have definitely had a large hand in deciding who was going to be the next Laker coach, and a coach with no clue on how to run a coherent offense who is almost totally dependent on his star player to create points is perfect for a selfish son of a bitch like Bryant. Everybody knows there are two things Kobe loves: being completely in charge of the basketball, and naive 17-year old hotel managers.
6. Finally, late tonight the old man Mavericks knocked off the Thunder to advance to the NBA finals. For the second straight game the Thunder seemed in control of the game, but once again Dallas came back in the end to get the win, this time thanks to not one but two open three-point looks for Dirk Nowitzki with the Mavs trailing in the final couple of minutes. Dirk hit the second one to give Dallas the lead and they never looked back. I hope to god they can beat the Heat in the finals, because make no mistake this is probably the worst version of this Heat team we're going to get. They're still in some ways learning to play together and I'm pretty sure they'll figure out a way to upgrade their supported cast in the coming seasons. Do you really want a Heat dynasty? Better than a Laker one, at least, but Dirk deserves a ring. I'm 100% Maverick fan now.
Also the Phillies/Reds played 19 innings last night, with the Phillies finally pulling it out on a sac fly by Raul Ibanez. It seems like the kind of thing that I could fit into my six relevant things or whatever, but it's the national league so let's be honest nobody gives a crap. The two teams combined to use 16 pitchers, all of whom are better than anybody the Twins have on their roster.
1. The Twins still suck. This time it was Erik Bedard who shut them down, causing Gardenhire to say retarded Gardenhire things like "filthy", "great stuff", and "guys were swinging and missing by a foot." Now that last one might be true, but I'd say it had more to do with the Twins being terrible, terrible, terrible at hitting than anything to do with Erik Bedard. The same Bedard who hasn't been filthy - or pitched in the majors - since 2009 and was lit up by both the Indians and Royals earlier this year. I will admit he's been pretty solid lately, but I refuse to give him any credit or any pitcher who shuts down the Twins any credit because these guys are god damn terrible. They have two guys hitting above .270, only 5 guys with an OBP over .300, and 3 guys slugging over .400 and two of those are part-timers (Plouffe, Thome). To be completely honest with you, I'm pretty sure Ila Borders could start and would allow less than 3 runs to these cream puffs.
2. Zack Attack is back, Jack. In news that feels AL Central related but isn't, Zack Greinke finally put together a vintage Zack Greinke performance yesterday afternoon going seven strong innings, striking out 10 and allowing just a 3-run homer to Mike Morse (note: who? his name may not actually be Mike. I didn't look it up.) to wreck a very nice day. And, just to add on to his re-breakout performance, he also hit a ding dong which gave the Brewers a 4-3 lead. It was Greinke's first time throwing 100 pitches since returning from injury, and he looked damn good. This now gives the Brewers a very good rotation on paper: Greinke, Marcum, Narveson, Wolf, and Gallardo, except not on paper Marcum is the only one whose been worth a damn. Luckily their offense has been good enough to keep them just 2.5 games out of first. If Greinke has it together it's going to be huge for them. Of course, as soon as the Milwaukee media starts asking tough questions he'll probably crumple into fetal position and cry to his mom.
3. The future may be bleak. ESPN came out with their first set of team recruiting rankings for 2012 and of the top 10 (that's all they rank) you'll find four Big Ten teams. Indiana is #1 (fo real) with four ESPN top 100 guys already signed, highlighted by big time PG Kevin Farrell and some weirdo with the first name Hanner. Michigan State is ranked #3 with some highly rated white dudes, Purdue is #8 with a handful of really good back court players, and Michigan ranks tenth with Glenn Robinson's kid and the second coming of Jon Deibler. The Gophers' list of 2012 commits? Zero. Joy.
4. This happened Tuesday night, but what happened to Derrick Rose? I know he's basically the reason the Bulls have gotten as far as they have, but whoa how bad did he choke in that game? He couldn't hit anything most of the game, but saved his most special screw-ups for crunch time - a great trait in your crunch time player. First he made only one of two free throws with just over a minute left and the Bulls down by one. Then, he missed a mid-range jumper that would have given the Bulls the lead with 28 seconds left, and followed that up by by air-balling the potential game winner at the end of regulation by forcing a fade away weird forced thing. Then, in overtime, he failed to score a single point (and only managed one shot) and committed a crucial turnover with just over a minute left and the Bulls down 4. There's no doubt he's one of the five best young players in the NBA, but watching that game was like watching Chris Webber call that timeout again, but stretched out for an entire half + overtime.
5. Speaking of the NBA, Kobe must want full control of the Lakers. I can't think of any other reason the team would hire Mike freaking Brown, who is most famous for failing to get the most out of Lebron James and helping hasten his departure out of town, helping to turn Cleveland into even more of a wasteland than it already was, but without their one shining hope - like what would happen to Fargo if some intrepid young soul was to burn NDSU to the ground. Basically his entire idea of coaching offense is to give the ball to his star and just let him and wait a minute I totally get it. Kobe would have definitely had a large hand in deciding who was going to be the next Laker coach, and a coach with no clue on how to run a coherent offense who is almost totally dependent on his star player to create points is perfect for a selfish son of a bitch like Bryant. Everybody knows there are two things Kobe loves: being completely in charge of the basketball, and naive 17-year old hotel managers.
6. Finally, late tonight the old man Mavericks knocked off the Thunder to advance to the NBA finals. For the second straight game the Thunder seemed in control of the game, but once again Dallas came back in the end to get the win, this time thanks to not one but two open three-point looks for Dirk Nowitzki with the Mavs trailing in the final couple of minutes. Dirk hit the second one to give Dallas the lead and they never looked back. I hope to god they can beat the Heat in the finals, because make no mistake this is probably the worst version of this Heat team we're going to get. They're still in some ways learning to play together and I'm pretty sure they'll figure out a way to upgrade their supported cast in the coming seasons. Do you really want a Heat dynasty? Better than a Laker one, at least, but Dirk deserves a ring. I'm 100% Maverick fan now.
Also the Phillies/Reds played 19 innings last night, with the Phillies finally pulling it out on a sac fly by Raul Ibanez. It seems like the kind of thing that I could fit into my six relevant things or whatever, but it's the national league so let's be honest nobody gives a crap. The two teams combined to use 16 pitchers, all of whom are better than anybody the Twins have on their roster.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Week in Review - 5/3/2010
Sorry for the delay this week, but I've basically been on a 48-hour bender and couldn't find the time to post. See if you can tell which entries below I wrote earlier in the week, and which I just slapped up there right now.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Wilson Ramos. Time to trade Mauer now while he has the most value, we don't need him.
2. Justin Smoak. Finally got his first hit and first home run, and although the numbers don't look all that great now, he's still walking and the hits are going to start to come as he tears up pitching on his March to rookie-of-the year. It's a lock.
3. Colorado. I'm talking the college basketball team here. I know, you're all like "say what?" but the Buffaloes caught a huge boost when freshman stud Alec Burks decided not to enter the NBA Draft, despite a decent chance that he'd be a late first-round pick and the fact that you've never heard of him. Burks was the Big-12 freshman of the year (suck it, Xavier Henry) and had NBA scouts slobbering all over him most of the year, despite very little high-major attention coming out of high school (which would explain how he ended up in Boulder). He's now back, super stud and Big 12 third-teamer Cory Higgins is back, and new coach Tad Boyle is basically guaranteed to be better than Jeff Bzdelik (he's done a nice job with No Co). I'm not quite ready to say things are looking up for the Buffaloes, but they're looking slightly better - like working at Taco Bell instead of Taco Johns's.
4. NC State. Sticking with the college hoops theme, it looks like the Woflpack are back, for the first time since the days of Julius Hodge. This assumes that Tracy Smith's entry into the NBA draft is similar to when Dan Coleman and Spencer entered a few years ago and isn't anything real -although don't mistake what I'm saying, T. Smith is far better than either of those two clowns (I will admit I kind of might be starting to like Spencer as a radio guy). They just picked up a commitment from C.J. Leslie, an outstanding swingman and McDonald's All-American who ranks as the 14th best recruit in the country according to Rivals. He joins fellow recruits PG Ryan Harrow (ranked #19), SG Lorenzo Brown (#36), and a very talented group of sophomores (as well as Smith) to give NC State as much talent as they've had in a long time. They also have a good shot at inking the #45 recruit PF Luke Cothron. Of course Sid Lowe couldn't out-coach a wet paper bag or medium-sized rock, so there's a ceiling to their potential success.
5. Chris Tillman. If your firs reaction was that this guy is some kind of cornerback, congratulations you're wrong. And also an idiot. No, Tillman is a minor-league prospect of the Balitmore Orioles - a pitcher, to be precise - and is looking like he's every bit as good as advertised. He one-upped a much publicized outing by Stephen Strasburg where he threw five no-hit innings in AA by throwing a full-game, 9-inning no hitter in AAA. Tillman, who was acquired in the Erik Bedard trade, was ranked by Baseball Prospectus as the #3 talent under the age of 25 on the O's (behind #2 Adam Jones and #1 Adult Jesus (Wieters)) and is one of a slew of good looking pitching prospects that have brought a little bit of optimism back to Camden Yards. With the back end of the O's rotation struggling and this outing, expect to see Tillman hit the bigs sooner rather than later.
WHO SUCKED
1. Tiger Woods. I suppose it has to be said that if you thought Tiger was all the way back, he's probably not. Not after shooting 74-79 at Quail Hollow and missing the cut by 8 shots. Eight! Out of 152 players, he finished better than nine of them, and his 79 on Friday (highlighted by back-to-back double bogeys) was better than only five rounds shot in the entire tournament. That 79 was the second worst round of his career, and his 153 is his worst outing through 36 holes - ever. Simply put, this wasn't just an off weekend, it was a complete disaster. Clearly he is a golf robot fueled by sex with hookers and he's running pretty low on fuel. Might be time to get back on that horse there, guy. And I said horse. Not whores.
2. Dallas Mavericks. Remember how the Mavs were supposed to be a sleeper to make the finals from the west? :fartnoise: Good work guys. In case you missed it, the #2 seed in the West got bounced 3 games to 2 by San Antonio, once again proving that the Spurs will never die - like Al Davis or Jesse Crain. Combine an inability to guard Manu Ginobilli's nose, Jason Kidd's Colt Iverson-like three-point shooting, and the curse of Mark Cuban, and the Mavs were doomed. Seriously, these guys had one shot in the 2006 finals versus Miami and got screwed by the league mandate to give Dwyane Wade every call. Now, no matter how many trades they make, whether good (Josh Howard for Caron Butler and Brendan Haywood) or bad (Jason Kidd for Devin Harris), they aren't getting back to the finals any time soon. Plus that team is WAY over their allotment of Mexicans.
3. Ben Sheets. Two starts this week, and he got absolutely shelled in each. I'm thinking that experiment is not exactly going according to plan.
4. Trevor Hoffman. Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee. Hells Bells indeeed.
5. Jevan Snead. You know how you hear about guys who go early-entry into the NBA draft and don't get drafted? Well, that's exactly what happened to Ole Miss QB Jevan Snead, except it was the NFL draft he entered early, and instead of not getting drafted in a two-round draft, it's a seven rounder. Ouch. Evan more confusing is that it wasn't exactly like his stock was rising. Snead was supposed to be a fringe Heisman candidate to start, but after a Junior year that was worse than his sophomore year and inconsistently play all-around, it should have been clear he wasn't ready for the NFL draft. And now 32 NFL GMs agreed, an average of 7 or so times a piece. What's the NFL equivalent of the D-League? The CFL? Arena League?
And yes, the NFL draft was technically last week, but I didn't know about Snead until this week so I'm including it here. Sorry, those are the rules. The moose out front should have told ya.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Wilson Ramos. Time to trade Mauer now while he has the most value, we don't need him.
2. Justin Smoak. Finally got his first hit and first home run, and although the numbers don't look all that great now, he's still walking and the hits are going to start to come as he tears up pitching on his March to rookie-of-the year. It's a lock.
3. Colorado. I'm talking the college basketball team here. I know, you're all like "say what?" but the Buffaloes caught a huge boost when freshman stud Alec Burks decided not to enter the NBA Draft, despite a decent chance that he'd be a late first-round pick and the fact that you've never heard of him. Burks was the Big-12 freshman of the year (suck it, Xavier Henry) and had NBA scouts slobbering all over him most of the year, despite very little high-major attention coming out of high school (which would explain how he ended up in Boulder). He's now back, super stud and Big 12 third-teamer Cory Higgins is back, and new coach Tad Boyle is basically guaranteed to be better than Jeff Bzdelik (he's done a nice job with No Co). I'm not quite ready to say things are looking up for the Buffaloes, but they're looking slightly better - like working at Taco Bell instead of Taco Johns's.
4. NC State. Sticking with the college hoops theme, it looks like the Woflpack are back, for the first time since the days of Julius Hodge. This assumes that Tracy Smith's entry into the NBA draft is similar to when Dan Coleman and Spencer entered a few years ago and isn't anything real -although don't mistake what I'm saying, T. Smith is far better than either of those two clowns (I will admit I kind of might be starting to like Spencer as a radio guy). They just picked up a commitment from C.J. Leslie, an outstanding swingman and McDonald's All-American who ranks as the 14th best recruit in the country according to Rivals. He joins fellow recruits PG Ryan Harrow (ranked #19), SG Lorenzo Brown (#36), and a very talented group of sophomores (as well as Smith) to give NC State as much talent as they've had in a long time. They also have a good shot at inking the #45 recruit PF Luke Cothron. Of course Sid Lowe couldn't out-coach a wet paper bag or medium-sized rock, so there's a ceiling to their potential success.
5. Chris Tillman. If your firs reaction was that this guy is some kind of cornerback, congratulations you're wrong. And also an idiot. No, Tillman is a minor-league prospect of the Balitmore Orioles - a pitcher, to be precise - and is looking like he's every bit as good as advertised. He one-upped a much publicized outing by Stephen Strasburg where he threw five no-hit innings in AA by throwing a full-game, 9-inning no hitter in AAA. Tillman, who was acquired in the Erik Bedard trade, was ranked by Baseball Prospectus as the #3 talent under the age of 25 on the O's (behind #2 Adam Jones and #1 Adult Jesus (Wieters)) and is one of a slew of good looking pitching prospects that have brought a little bit of optimism back to Camden Yards. With the back end of the O's rotation struggling and this outing, expect to see Tillman hit the bigs sooner rather than later.
WHO SUCKED
1. Tiger Woods. I suppose it has to be said that if you thought Tiger was all the way back, he's probably not. Not after shooting 74-79 at Quail Hollow and missing the cut by 8 shots. Eight! Out of 152 players, he finished better than nine of them, and his 79 on Friday (highlighted by back-to-back double bogeys) was better than only five rounds shot in the entire tournament. That 79 was the second worst round of his career, and his 153 is his worst outing through 36 holes - ever. Simply put, this wasn't just an off weekend, it was a complete disaster. Clearly he is a golf robot fueled by sex with hookers and he's running pretty low on fuel. Might be time to get back on that horse there, guy. And I said horse. Not whores.
2. Dallas Mavericks. Remember how the Mavs were supposed to be a sleeper to make the finals from the west? :fartnoise: Good work guys. In case you missed it, the #2 seed in the West got bounced 3 games to 2 by San Antonio, once again proving that the Spurs will never die - like Al Davis or Jesse Crain. Combine an inability to guard Manu Ginobilli's nose, Jason Kidd's Colt Iverson-like three-point shooting, and the curse of Mark Cuban, and the Mavs were doomed. Seriously, these guys had one shot in the 2006 finals versus Miami and got screwed by the league mandate to give Dwyane Wade every call. Now, no matter how many trades they make, whether good (Josh Howard for Caron Butler and Brendan Haywood) or bad (Jason Kidd for Devin Harris), they aren't getting back to the finals any time soon. Plus that team is WAY over their allotment of Mexicans.
3. Ben Sheets. Two starts this week, and he got absolutely shelled in each. I'm thinking that experiment is not exactly going according to plan.
4. Trevor Hoffman. Never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee. Hells Bells indeeed.
5. Jevan Snead. You know how you hear about guys who go early-entry into the NBA draft and don't get drafted? Well, that's exactly what happened to Ole Miss QB Jevan Snead, except it was the NFL draft he entered early, and instead of not getting drafted in a two-round draft, it's a seven rounder. Ouch. Evan more confusing is that it wasn't exactly like his stock was rising. Snead was supposed to be a fringe Heisman candidate to start, but after a Junior year that was worse than his sophomore year and inconsistently play all-around, it should have been clear he wasn't ready for the NFL draft. And now 32 NFL GMs agreed, an average of 7 or so times a piece. What's the NFL equivalent of the D-League? The CFL? Arena League?
And yes, the NFL draft was technically last week, but I didn't know about Snead until this week so I'm including it here. Sorry, those are the rules. The moose out front should have told ya.
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