1. Pirates acquire Travis Snider from Toronto for Brad Lincoln. This one doesn't get a whole ton of play in the media because it's not as sexy as a lot of the other trades that went down and if it does it's always mentioned as a "trade of two failed prospects, both of whom were drafted in the first round of the 2006 draft. That may be true, but that doesn't mean Pittsburgh didn't get a steal here. The Pirates have gotten nothing out of their left-fielders this year (mainly Alex Presley), with a combined .198 average, and Snider just so happens to play left field. The Pirates also have an excellent bullpen with a combined 2.81 ERA out of the pen this year, so although Lincoln has pitched well this year they aren't exactly going to notice his loss. Then there's their performance. Before settling in the pen this year Lincoln was tried as a starter twice, finishing 2010 with a 6.66 ERA (9 starts) and 2011 with a 4.72 (8 starts). He was always a starter in the minors, and outside of 13 double-A starts in 2009 (when he was already 24) and two AAA starts this year he's never posted an ERA below 4.00 at any level. Safe to say he's a middle reliever, and as I've discussed here a lot middle relievers pretty much grow on trees. Lincoln was worth little. Snider, on the other hand, with five plus .300 average seasons in seven in the minors with good plate discipline and good power. He also hit .300 his first year in the majors (.301 in 80 PAs) and hit 14 homers in 319 PAs in 2010, but he's battled a lot of injuries and been on the DL quite a bit. He's also 3 years younger than Lincoln. Basically the Pirates traded a player that plays a position they don't need who you pretty much already know his ceiling for a player at a position they need who has shown promise and if could stay healthy still has the potential to be an impact player. Great trade.
2. Cubs acquire Arodys Vizcaino (and Jaye Chapman) from Atlanta for Paul Maholm and Reed Johnson. The Braves acquired Vizcaino in the trade where they shipped Javier Vazquez to the Yankees in 2009 when he was the #16 prospect in New York's system. Since then he's ranked #5, #5, and #2 while in the Braves' system, and is now headed to the Cubs (along with a top-25ish reliever guy). All they had to give up was a journeyman outfielder in Johnson and a back-of-the-rotation starter who, literally, anybody could have had for about $5 million this offseason in Maholm. The downside of this trade for Chicago is nobody gives a shit. Maholm is not going to develop into a Cy Young candidate, so no matter what happens the Cubs aren't hurt. The upside is Vizcaino, who has #2 type stuff. For a team that's been pretty smart about moves the Braves were awfully antsy this year, trying to give Randall Delgado (#3 prospect) to the Cubs first for Ryan Dempster before he blocked it and then following it up by trading prospect #2. Epstein has actually done a nice job dealing with the hellhole that is Chicago's roster, and at some point he's going to find a taker for Soriano. I have to admit, I have a feeling that nerd will get the best of that one as well.
3. Angels acquire Zack Greinke from Milwaukee for Jean Segura, Ariel Pena, and John Hellweg. The Angels certainly didn't underpay, giving up three prospects ranked in their top 15 but getting Greinke, and maybe more importantly not letting the Rangers or Yankees get him, will be a key to the Angels postseason success this year. This move sets up their rotation as Jered Weaver, Greinke, C.J. Wilson, and Dan Haren, and if Haren wasn't having a pretty tough year I'd say that's one of the best rotation I'd seen in a while. Certainly they have an edge when compared to the other contenders, with Haren their fourth starter compared to guys like Phil Hughes, Zach Britton, Clay Buchholz, Phil Humber, Doug Fister, Travis Blackley, Derek Holland, Jeremy Hellickson, and Brett Cecil - and they're better than almost every other team at the #2 and #3 spots, too. The Giants showed in 2010 that pitching can win championships, and their rotation of Lincecum, Cain, Bumgarner, and Jonathan Sanchez wasn't as good as what the Angels have now put together. In fact, I just talked myself into a small bet on them to win the world series at 6-1. Take advantage man, take advantage.
4. Yankees acquire Ichiro Suzuki from Seattle for D.J. Mitchell and Danny Farquhar. Mostly I like this one because the Yankees' risk is basically nil. Farquhar is nowhere near a top prospect list and has already been traded 3 times and waived twice in his four year career and has an upside of a 7th inning reliever, while Mitchell is a meh starter who is in his third year at AAA at age 25. For that low price they get a guy who, although he's been on the decline the last two years, did hit over .300 for 10 straight years, and a guy who agreed to hit low in the lineup, move positions, and sit against at least some lefties. Ichiro wanted out (there is a theory he's just been bored the last two years playing for such a shitty team), Seattle wanted him out so they wouldn't have to deal with the headache of resigning/not resigning him, and so the Yankees swoop in with almost no risk. Their production out of their left-fielders (Raul Ibanez/Andruw Jones) has been brutal, so if Ichiro plays as he has all year it's a small upgrade. But if the move to New York and a contender lights a fire under his ass and he plays like pre-2011 Ichiro? Look out. And all for the cost of two non-prospects.
5. Royals acquire J.C. Sulbaran and Donnie Joseph from Cincinnati for Jonathan Broxton. This is the exact kind of trade the Twins should have been making. Broxton was only signed to a one-year deal, the Royals clearly weren't going anywhere this year, and several teams had interest so the Royals leveraged that and got the most they could. They picked up Joseph, a top-25ish type prospect in the Reds system who has been a nearly unhittable closer in both AA and AAA this year, and Sulbaran, ranked 12th among Reds' prospects and a starter whose numbers are pedestrian but Baseball America said he had the best curveball in the entire Reds' system. Sulbaran gives them another young arm as they try to figure out the whole pitching situation as they make the alleged run towards a division title everyone is telling us to expect, and Joseph can probably start in the big leagues next season so they have some flexibility with Soria coming off injury and owed $8 million (team option). Good trade, and exactly the kind of thing the Twins could have/should have done.
I also think Jeremy Guthrie is a good pick-up for them. I mean he sucks, but you know he's going to give you 200 semi-ok innings and you need at least one guy like that if you're going to be a contender. Of course they have to resign him, find more talented pitchers to put around him, and then dudes have to hit to turn them into a contender, but like Leo Marvin said, "Babysteps."
Showing posts with label Zack Greinke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Zack Greinke. Show all posts
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Six Very Important Things from Last Night - 05/26/2011
What's that? A post in the patented "6 Things" format? Righteous! Well aren't you lucky. And go:
1. The Twins still suck. This time it was Erik Bedard who shut them down, causing Gardenhire to say retarded Gardenhire things like "filthy", "great stuff", and "guys were swinging and missing by a foot." Now that last one might be true, but I'd say it had more to do with the Twins being terrible, terrible, terrible at hitting than anything to do with Erik Bedard. The same Bedard who hasn't been filthy - or pitched in the majors - since 2009 and was lit up by both the Indians and Royals earlier this year. I will admit he's been pretty solid lately, but I refuse to give him any credit or any pitcher who shuts down the Twins any credit because these guys are god damn terrible. They have two guys hitting above .270, only 5 guys with an OBP over .300, and 3 guys slugging over .400 and two of those are part-timers (Plouffe, Thome). To be completely honest with you, I'm pretty sure Ila Borders could start and would allow less than 3 runs to these cream puffs.
2. Zack Attack is back, Jack. In news that feels AL Central related but isn't, Zack Greinke finally put together a vintage Zack Greinke performance yesterday afternoon going seven strong innings, striking out 10 and allowing just a 3-run homer to Mike Morse (note: who? his name may not actually be Mike. I didn't look it up.) to wreck a very nice day. And, just to add on to his re-breakout performance, he also hit a ding dong which gave the Brewers a 4-3 lead. It was Greinke's first time throwing 100 pitches since returning from injury, and he looked damn good. This now gives the Brewers a very good rotation on paper: Greinke, Marcum, Narveson, Wolf, and Gallardo, except not on paper Marcum is the only one whose been worth a damn. Luckily their offense has been good enough to keep them just 2.5 games out of first. If Greinke has it together it's going to be huge for them. Of course, as soon as the Milwaukee media starts asking tough questions he'll probably crumple into fetal position and cry to his mom.
3. The future may be bleak. ESPN came out with their first set of team recruiting rankings for 2012 and of the top 10 (that's all they rank) you'll find four Big Ten teams. Indiana is #1 (fo real) with four ESPN top 100 guys already signed, highlighted by big time PG Kevin Farrell and some weirdo with the first name Hanner. Michigan State is ranked #3 with some highly rated white dudes, Purdue is #8 with a handful of really good back court players, and Michigan ranks tenth with Glenn Robinson's kid and the second coming of Jon Deibler. The Gophers' list of 2012 commits? Zero. Joy.
4. This happened Tuesday night, but what happened to Derrick Rose? I know he's basically the reason the Bulls have gotten as far as they have, but whoa how bad did he choke in that game? He couldn't hit anything most of the game, but saved his most special screw-ups for crunch time - a great trait in your crunch time player. First he made only one of two free throws with just over a minute left and the Bulls down by one. Then, he missed a mid-range jumper that would have given the Bulls the lead with 28 seconds left, and followed that up by by air-balling the potential game winner at the end of regulation by forcing a fade away weird forced thing. Then, in overtime, he failed to score a single point (and only managed one shot) and committed a crucial turnover with just over a minute left and the Bulls down 4. There's no doubt he's one of the five best young players in the NBA, but watching that game was like watching Chris Webber call that timeout again, but stretched out for an entire half + overtime.
5. Speaking of the NBA, Kobe must want full control of the Lakers. I can't think of any other reason the team would hire Mike freaking Brown, who is most famous for failing to get the most out of Lebron James and helping hasten his departure out of town, helping to turn Cleveland into even more of a wasteland than it already was, but without their one shining hope - like what would happen to Fargo if some intrepid young soul was to burn NDSU to the ground. Basically his entire idea of coaching offense is to give the ball to his star and just let him and wait a minute I totally get it. Kobe would have definitely had a large hand in deciding who was going to be the next Laker coach, and a coach with no clue on how to run a coherent offense who is almost totally dependent on his star player to create points is perfect for a selfish son of a bitch like Bryant. Everybody knows there are two things Kobe loves: being completely in charge of the basketball, and naive 17-year old hotel managers.
6. Finally, late tonight the old man Mavericks knocked off the Thunder to advance to the NBA finals. For the second straight game the Thunder seemed in control of the game, but once again Dallas came back in the end to get the win, this time thanks to not one but two open three-point looks for Dirk Nowitzki with the Mavs trailing in the final couple of minutes. Dirk hit the second one to give Dallas the lead and they never looked back. I hope to god they can beat the Heat in the finals, because make no mistake this is probably the worst version of this Heat team we're going to get. They're still in some ways learning to play together and I'm pretty sure they'll figure out a way to upgrade their supported cast in the coming seasons. Do you really want a Heat dynasty? Better than a Laker one, at least, but Dirk deserves a ring. I'm 100% Maverick fan now.
Also the Phillies/Reds played 19 innings last night, with the Phillies finally pulling it out on a sac fly by Raul Ibanez. It seems like the kind of thing that I could fit into my six relevant things or whatever, but it's the national league so let's be honest nobody gives a crap. The two teams combined to use 16 pitchers, all of whom are better than anybody the Twins have on their roster.
1. The Twins still suck. This time it was Erik Bedard who shut them down, causing Gardenhire to say retarded Gardenhire things like "filthy", "great stuff", and "guys were swinging and missing by a foot." Now that last one might be true, but I'd say it had more to do with the Twins being terrible, terrible, terrible at hitting than anything to do with Erik Bedard. The same Bedard who hasn't been filthy - or pitched in the majors - since 2009 and was lit up by both the Indians and Royals earlier this year. I will admit he's been pretty solid lately, but I refuse to give him any credit or any pitcher who shuts down the Twins any credit because these guys are god damn terrible. They have two guys hitting above .270, only 5 guys with an OBP over .300, and 3 guys slugging over .400 and two of those are part-timers (Plouffe, Thome). To be completely honest with you, I'm pretty sure Ila Borders could start and would allow less than 3 runs to these cream puffs.
2. Zack Attack is back, Jack. In news that feels AL Central related but isn't, Zack Greinke finally put together a vintage Zack Greinke performance yesterday afternoon going seven strong innings, striking out 10 and allowing just a 3-run homer to Mike Morse (note: who? his name may not actually be Mike. I didn't look it up.) to wreck a very nice day. And, just to add on to his re-breakout performance, he also hit a ding dong which gave the Brewers a 4-3 lead. It was Greinke's first time throwing 100 pitches since returning from injury, and he looked damn good. This now gives the Brewers a very good rotation on paper: Greinke, Marcum, Narveson, Wolf, and Gallardo, except not on paper Marcum is the only one whose been worth a damn. Luckily their offense has been good enough to keep them just 2.5 games out of first. If Greinke has it together it's going to be huge for them. Of course, as soon as the Milwaukee media starts asking tough questions he'll probably crumple into fetal position and cry to his mom.
3. The future may be bleak. ESPN came out with their first set of team recruiting rankings for 2012 and of the top 10 (that's all they rank) you'll find four Big Ten teams. Indiana is #1 (fo real) with four ESPN top 100 guys already signed, highlighted by big time PG Kevin Farrell and some weirdo with the first name Hanner. Michigan State is ranked #3 with some highly rated white dudes, Purdue is #8 with a handful of really good back court players, and Michigan ranks tenth with Glenn Robinson's kid and the second coming of Jon Deibler. The Gophers' list of 2012 commits? Zero. Joy.
4. This happened Tuesday night, but what happened to Derrick Rose? I know he's basically the reason the Bulls have gotten as far as they have, but whoa how bad did he choke in that game? He couldn't hit anything most of the game, but saved his most special screw-ups for crunch time - a great trait in your crunch time player. First he made only one of two free throws with just over a minute left and the Bulls down by one. Then, he missed a mid-range jumper that would have given the Bulls the lead with 28 seconds left, and followed that up by by air-balling the potential game winner at the end of regulation by forcing a fade away weird forced thing. Then, in overtime, he failed to score a single point (and only managed one shot) and committed a crucial turnover with just over a minute left and the Bulls down 4. There's no doubt he's one of the five best young players in the NBA, but watching that game was like watching Chris Webber call that timeout again, but stretched out for an entire half + overtime.
5. Speaking of the NBA, Kobe must want full control of the Lakers. I can't think of any other reason the team would hire Mike freaking Brown, who is most famous for failing to get the most out of Lebron James and helping hasten his departure out of town, helping to turn Cleveland into even more of a wasteland than it already was, but without their one shining hope - like what would happen to Fargo if some intrepid young soul was to burn NDSU to the ground. Basically his entire idea of coaching offense is to give the ball to his star and just let him and wait a minute I totally get it. Kobe would have definitely had a large hand in deciding who was going to be the next Laker coach, and a coach with no clue on how to run a coherent offense who is almost totally dependent on his star player to create points is perfect for a selfish son of a bitch like Bryant. Everybody knows there are two things Kobe loves: being completely in charge of the basketball, and naive 17-year old hotel managers.
6. Finally, late tonight the old man Mavericks knocked off the Thunder to advance to the NBA finals. For the second straight game the Thunder seemed in control of the game, but once again Dallas came back in the end to get the win, this time thanks to not one but two open three-point looks for Dirk Nowitzki with the Mavs trailing in the final couple of minutes. Dirk hit the second one to give Dallas the lead and they never looked back. I hope to god they can beat the Heat in the finals, because make no mistake this is probably the worst version of this Heat team we're going to get. They're still in some ways learning to play together and I'm pretty sure they'll figure out a way to upgrade their supported cast in the coming seasons. Do you really want a Heat dynasty? Better than a Laker one, at least, but Dirk deserves a ring. I'm 100% Maverick fan now.
Also the Phillies/Reds played 19 innings last night, with the Phillies finally pulling it out on a sac fly by Raul Ibanez. It seems like the kind of thing that I could fit into my six relevant things or whatever, but it's the national league so let's be honest nobody gives a crap. The two teams combined to use 16 pitchers, all of whom are better than anybody the Twins have on their roster.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Week in Review - 12.20.2010
Two last things about my trip to California:
1. On the ride home I sat next to this young woman probably in her early twenties. Throughout the entire three and a half hour flight she didn't nap. She also didn't read. She didn't have a computer. She didn't do a crossword or sudoku book. She declined a drink when they came by to offer a complimentary beverage. She never went to the bathroom. She never spoke to anyone. No, she did nothing except stare straight ahead and blink for 3 and a half hours. Absolutely bizarre and kind of creepy. She's either a genius who needs nothing more than her brain to be entertained, or dumb as hell with an empty head. I have my suspicions.
2. If you are ever in California you absolutely have to check out In-and-Out Burger. Absolutely the best burger ever, excellent fries, and it's all at a near fast-food (but it's not fast food) pace. Get yourself a double-double and order it animal style. You won't regret it. So freaking good. Anyway, on to the real stuff.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. UCLA Bruins. Still not exactly sure what to make of the Pac-10, and I'm still pretty sure they mostly suck, but UCLA picked up a huge win this weekend knocking off BYU (previously undefeated) in Anaheim at the Wooden Classic. They won by forcing the Cougars into 19 turnovers, 7 by Jimmer Fredette, and got a huge game out of Reeves Nelson, who looks like a nerd but plays like white jesus. This win, along with the Bruins hanging with Kansas right to the wire earlier this year, shows that the Bruins have the capability to compete with Washington and Arizona at the top of this conference. They also have the capability to get swept by the Oregon schools. Buyer beware.
2. San Diego State Aztecs. It's not so much that they got a big win this week, but they're still undefeated (now 12-0) and the way they dismantled Santa Barbara by 26 - the same Gauchos team that just beat UNLV and will likely win the Big West - I'm just beyond impressed right now. They're extremely balanced, have a great mix of inside/outside scoring, and are very efficient on both ends of the court. About their only weakness is they don't have a true point guard who plays much, but everyone can handle the ball so they'll probably be ok there. I don't know what odds you'd find at your favorite online betting site, but I can still find 40-1 on them to win the NCAA Championship on mine. I recommend you jump on it.
3. Gonzaga Bulldogs. About time. After whiffing on every opportunity to get a quality win - they lost versus San Diego State, Kansas State, Illinois, Washington State, and Notre Dame - they finally got something to show off in March with a big win over Baylor in Dallas, a semi-road game. Couple this with their win over Marquette, and the Zags are suddenly looking to be in decent shape after being a bit of a concern even last week. They play Xavier, UL-Lafayette, Oklahoma State, and Wake Forest before starting WCC play. ULL and Wake should be gimmes, so if they can split the Xavier/OSU games (and they should, and a sweep is probably likely since both are in Spokane) that would put them at 9-6 with three quality wins going into conference games. With that schedule and those wins they would probably just have to go 11-3 or even 10-4 to get an at-large. Shouldn't be an issue.
4. Kevin Love. I don't write a lot of NBA here - because it sucks until the playoffs - but just how freaking sweet is K-Love? His point/rebs by game this week were: 13 & 14, 23 & 16, 19 & 17, and 43 & 17. Freaking 43 and 17. Wow. He's a 40% 3-point shooter, a decent offensive player inside the paint, and the best rebounder the NBA has seen since Rodman. Other than your physical tools (which Love is lacking in, as was Rodman) there are two things that can make you an elite level rebounder - an understanding of where the ball is likely to go (positioning) and a hunger to be the one who gets the ball (effort). Love has both in spades, and has used those tools to. I don't know about you, but I'd probably find somewhere to do some basketball betting and just take the over on Love's rebounds in every single game.
5. Kansas City Royals. If you're going to trade an ace this is how you do it. They shipped Zack Greinke and his anti-anxiety medication over to Milwaukee in return for SPs Jeremy Jeffress and Jake Odorizzi, SS Alcides Escobar, and CF Lorenzo Cain. The Royals are thought to have one of the, if not the, best farm systems in the league right now, and they just got better. Perusing some lists, the two starting pitchers they just got are generally ranked in the top 3 in the Brewers' system, Escobar is thought to be a future star at SS even if he didn't exactly have a great first season last year, and Cain is a "toolsy" center fielder of the future type of player. In short, it was a haul for a team that is already loaded for the future. Twins better win now, because starting in about 2013 the Royals' dynasty is ON. (NOTE: Milwaukee also better win now, because between this trade and the Lawrie for Marcum trade they have essentially killed their future).
WHO SUCKED
1. Tennessee Volunteers. There were quite a few teams who had bad losses this week, but nobody can touch the disaster that was the Vols. Two games this week - vs. Oakland and @ Charlotte - and two losses. the Oakland game is rough, because although the Golden Grizzlies are an NCAA caliber team, they've been unable to crab a real impressive win, losing to West Virginia, Illinois, Michigan State, and Purdue. Then the Charlotte loss...oof. The 49ers are, frankly, pretty awful, coming into the game at 4-6 with losses to Gardner-Webb and East Carolina, and they just kicked Shamari Spears, their leading scorer, off the team. Tennessee has shown how good they can be with wins over Villanova and Pitt, and have now shown how bad they can be as well. And that's pretty much their outlook for the season as well, they could easily be an elite 8 team or a team that gets bounced in the first round. Or, hell, and NIT team. That's what I predicted for them going into the season so let's go for that.
2. Kansas State Wildcats. Honestly I thought the Wildcats were a bit overrated coming into this year, but I didn't say too much because I though tthey were overrated last year and then they made the elite 8 so I figured maybe I was wrong. But now if you look at their results this year it's kind meh. Their only two notable wins - over Virginia Tech and Gonzaga - both look worse than they did at the time because both of those teams are struggling, and getting blown out by Florida on Saturday certainly doesn't help things. So it is now a fact - Kansas State sucks. Also I'm pretty sure their coach could get you wacked with one phone call.
3. Illinois Fighting Illini. Well, it's safe to say Ohio State is now the class of the Big 10, and it's not even close (although I'm sure Michigan State will get there by March). After building a nice resume thus far with the only blemish that overtime loss to Texas in New York, the Illini froze up and locked up versus Illinois-Chicago and Paul Carter this weekend, losing 57-54 in a game where the final 15 seconds saw them miss three shots and turn the ball over twice. I still don't trust McCamey, and this is exactly why. I'm sorry, he's just not really a point guard. He's just not. I know he has a ton of assists but he's not a point guard. This team has first round NCAA loss written all over it.
4. Josh Selby. It's a bit of a stretch to say he sucks considering he was a freshman playing in his first ever game and scored 21 points including the game-winning three pointer, but there are some warning signs here. First off, he's a point guard but finished with just 1 assist compared to four turnovers. Secondly, he pushes Elijah Johnson (5 points, 2.5 assists vs. just 1.4 TOs in 15 minutes per game) to the end of the bench, as well as Travis Releford (better than a 2-1 assist to TO ratio). All that helped lead the Jayhawks to a game against USC where they registered just 13 assists versus 12 turnovers for a team that was averaging 20 vs. 13 going into the game. It could just be a bad game for the team, or it could just that it takes some time to gel and get used to playing with a brand new teammate. Or, it could be that one of the best team's in the country, one whose strength was their balance and ball movement, just brought in a ball sync. We shall see.
5. Big Ten naming controversy. Seriously? So the Big Ten announces they are going to name the divisions the Leaders and Legends, people freak out, and now they might change the names? I don't know what's more pathetic, the Big Ten for rolling over and possibly changing the names less than a week after they were announced or the pathetic souls out there who actually care about something as meaningless as division names so, so much that it drives them to write letters and bitch to such a magnitude that it gets the Big Ten to actually reconsider. So sad. It's division names, people. God.
And with the teams in each division already set, how much better are you really going to get? You can't do geographic names, no matter how many national talk show hosts who don't have a clue what's going on keep saying it, and you can't do anything cute like "Great Lakes" and "Heartland" because, again, morons, the team groupings are already set. So good luck coming up with anything better than Leaders and Legends, because it doesn't matter what they do, because the guys who drive their truck in team colors with two flags flying out the window and the personalized "OSU4EVA" license plates are going to send their emails from the library (I assume they can't afford computers) and write their letters (most likely in crayon) and bitch because for some sad, inexplicable, pathetic reason, what the Big Ten names it's divisions is really, really fucking important.
Last thing I want to say now that I'm all riled up that I am not a fan of this Nishioka signing. I can't exactly hate it, because it's a nice cheapish investment, but I would rather have JJ Hardy. And since the choice was basically Hardy/Nishioka vs. Nishioka/Casilla, this move will be evaluated on a Casilla vs. Hardy basis, so it doesn't quite matter as much that Nishi is going to probably end up a mediocre fielding slap hitter. Just like Casilla. God what an awesome middle infield combo. It's like somebody finally answered my prayers and cloned Nick Punto and let the Twins have both of them as a reward for their constant scrappiness and fundamentalsitude. $20 says Nishi is a slide into firster.
1. On the ride home I sat next to this young woman probably in her early twenties. Throughout the entire three and a half hour flight she didn't nap. She also didn't read. She didn't have a computer. She didn't do a crossword or sudoku book. She declined a drink when they came by to offer a complimentary beverage. She never went to the bathroom. She never spoke to anyone. No, she did nothing except stare straight ahead and blink for 3 and a half hours. Absolutely bizarre and kind of creepy. She's either a genius who needs nothing more than her brain to be entertained, or dumb as hell with an empty head. I have my suspicions.
2. If you are ever in California you absolutely have to check out In-and-Out Burger. Absolutely the best burger ever, excellent fries, and it's all at a near fast-food (but it's not fast food) pace. Get yourself a double-double and order it animal style. You won't regret it. So freaking good. Anyway, on to the real stuff.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. UCLA Bruins. Still not exactly sure what to make of the Pac-10, and I'm still pretty sure they mostly suck, but UCLA picked up a huge win this weekend knocking off BYU (previously undefeated) in Anaheim at the Wooden Classic. They won by forcing the Cougars into 19 turnovers, 7 by Jimmer Fredette, and got a huge game out of Reeves Nelson, who looks like a nerd but plays like white jesus. This win, along with the Bruins hanging with Kansas right to the wire earlier this year, shows that the Bruins have the capability to compete with Washington and Arizona at the top of this conference. They also have the capability to get swept by the Oregon schools. Buyer beware.
2. San Diego State Aztecs. It's not so much that they got a big win this week, but they're still undefeated (now 12-0) and the way they dismantled Santa Barbara by 26 - the same Gauchos team that just beat UNLV and will likely win the Big West - I'm just beyond impressed right now. They're extremely balanced, have a great mix of inside/outside scoring, and are very efficient on both ends of the court. About their only weakness is they don't have a true point guard who plays much, but everyone can handle the ball so they'll probably be ok there. I don't know what odds you'd find at your favorite online betting site, but I can still find 40-1 on them to win the NCAA Championship on mine. I recommend you jump on it.
3. Gonzaga Bulldogs. About time. After whiffing on every opportunity to get a quality win - they lost versus San Diego State, Kansas State, Illinois, Washington State, and Notre Dame - they finally got something to show off in March with a big win over Baylor in Dallas, a semi-road game. Couple this with their win over Marquette, and the Zags are suddenly looking to be in decent shape after being a bit of a concern even last week. They play Xavier, UL-Lafayette, Oklahoma State, and Wake Forest before starting WCC play. ULL and Wake should be gimmes, so if they can split the Xavier/OSU games (and they should, and a sweep is probably likely since both are in Spokane) that would put them at 9-6 with three quality wins going into conference games. With that schedule and those wins they would probably just have to go 11-3 or even 10-4 to get an at-large. Shouldn't be an issue.
4. Kevin Love. I don't write a lot of NBA here - because it sucks until the playoffs - but just how freaking sweet is K-Love? His point/rebs by game this week were: 13 & 14, 23 & 16, 19 & 17, and 43 & 17. Freaking 43 and 17. Wow. He's a 40% 3-point shooter, a decent offensive player inside the paint, and the best rebounder the NBA has seen since Rodman. Other than your physical tools (which Love is lacking in, as was Rodman) there are two things that can make you an elite level rebounder - an understanding of where the ball is likely to go (positioning) and a hunger to be the one who gets the ball (effort). Love has both in spades, and has used those tools to. I don't know about you, but I'd probably find somewhere to do some basketball betting and just take the over on Love's rebounds in every single game.
5. Kansas City Royals. If you're going to trade an ace this is how you do it. They shipped Zack Greinke and his anti-anxiety medication over to Milwaukee in return for SPs Jeremy Jeffress and Jake Odorizzi, SS Alcides Escobar, and CF Lorenzo Cain. The Royals are thought to have one of the, if not the, best farm systems in the league right now, and they just got better. Perusing some lists, the two starting pitchers they just got are generally ranked in the top 3 in the Brewers' system, Escobar is thought to be a future star at SS even if he didn't exactly have a great first season last year, and Cain is a "toolsy" center fielder of the future type of player. In short, it was a haul for a team that is already loaded for the future. Twins better win now, because starting in about 2013 the Royals' dynasty is ON. (NOTE: Milwaukee also better win now, because between this trade and the Lawrie for Marcum trade they have essentially killed their future).
WHO SUCKED
1. Tennessee Volunteers. There were quite a few teams who had bad losses this week, but nobody can touch the disaster that was the Vols. Two games this week - vs. Oakland and @ Charlotte - and two losses. the Oakland game is rough, because although the Golden Grizzlies are an NCAA caliber team, they've been unable to crab a real impressive win, losing to West Virginia, Illinois, Michigan State, and Purdue. Then the Charlotte loss...oof. The 49ers are, frankly, pretty awful, coming into the game at 4-6 with losses to Gardner-Webb and East Carolina, and they just kicked Shamari Spears, their leading scorer, off the team. Tennessee has shown how good they can be with wins over Villanova and Pitt, and have now shown how bad they can be as well. And that's pretty much their outlook for the season as well, they could easily be an elite 8 team or a team that gets bounced in the first round. Or, hell, and NIT team. That's what I predicted for them going into the season so let's go for that.
2. Kansas State Wildcats. Honestly I thought the Wildcats were a bit overrated coming into this year, but I didn't say too much because I though tthey were overrated last year and then they made the elite 8 so I figured maybe I was wrong. But now if you look at their results this year it's kind meh. Their only two notable wins - over Virginia Tech and Gonzaga - both look worse than they did at the time because both of those teams are struggling, and getting blown out by Florida on Saturday certainly doesn't help things. So it is now a fact - Kansas State sucks. Also I'm pretty sure their coach could get you wacked with one phone call.
3. Illinois Fighting Illini. Well, it's safe to say Ohio State is now the class of the Big 10, and it's not even close (although I'm sure Michigan State will get there by March). After building a nice resume thus far with the only blemish that overtime loss to Texas in New York, the Illini froze up and locked up versus Illinois-Chicago and Paul Carter this weekend, losing 57-54 in a game where the final 15 seconds saw them miss three shots and turn the ball over twice. I still don't trust McCamey, and this is exactly why. I'm sorry, he's just not really a point guard. He's just not. I know he has a ton of assists but he's not a point guard. This team has first round NCAA loss written all over it.
4. Josh Selby. It's a bit of a stretch to say he sucks considering he was a freshman playing in his first ever game and scored 21 points including the game-winning three pointer, but there are some warning signs here. First off, he's a point guard but finished with just 1 assist compared to four turnovers. Secondly, he pushes Elijah Johnson (5 points, 2.5 assists vs. just 1.4 TOs in 15 minutes per game) to the end of the bench, as well as Travis Releford (better than a 2-1 assist to TO ratio). All that helped lead the Jayhawks to a game against USC where they registered just 13 assists versus 12 turnovers for a team that was averaging 20 vs. 13 going into the game. It could just be a bad game for the team, or it could just that it takes some time to gel and get used to playing with a brand new teammate. Or, it could be that one of the best team's in the country, one whose strength was their balance and ball movement, just brought in a ball sync. We shall see.
5. Big Ten naming controversy. Seriously? So the Big Ten announces they are going to name the divisions the Leaders and Legends, people freak out, and now they might change the names? I don't know what's more pathetic, the Big Ten for rolling over and possibly changing the names less than a week after they were announced or the pathetic souls out there who actually care about something as meaningless as division names so, so much that it drives them to write letters and bitch to such a magnitude that it gets the Big Ten to actually reconsider. So sad. It's division names, people. God.
And with the teams in each division already set, how much better are you really going to get? You can't do geographic names, no matter how many national talk show hosts who don't have a clue what's going on keep saying it, and you can't do anything cute like "Great Lakes" and "Heartland" because, again, morons, the team groupings are already set. So good luck coming up with anything better than Leaders and Legends, because it doesn't matter what they do, because the guys who drive their truck in team colors with two flags flying out the window and the personalized "OSU4EVA" license plates are going to send their emails from the library (I assume they can't afford computers) and write their letters (most likely in crayon) and bitch because for some sad, inexplicable, pathetic reason, what the Big Ten names it's divisions is really, really fucking important.
Last thing I want to say now that I'm all riled up that I am not a fan of this Nishioka signing. I can't exactly hate it, because it's a nice cheapish investment, but I would rather have JJ Hardy. And since the choice was basically Hardy/Nishioka vs. Nishioka/Casilla, this move will be evaluated on a Casilla vs. Hardy basis, so it doesn't quite matter as much that Nishi is going to probably end up a mediocre fielding slap hitter. Just like Casilla. God what an awesome middle infield combo. It's like somebody finally answered my prayers and cloned Nick Punto and let the Twins have both of them as a reward for their constant scrappiness and fundamentalsitude. $20 says Nishi is a slide into firster.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Week in Review - 6/7/2010
Obviously the biggest news of the week was the non-perfect game thrown by Andres Galarraga's son. Since you probably haven't heard enough about that whole situation, allow me to weigh in.
Just kidding. Yes, it was a big deal and even the kind of thing we discussed around the office the day after, but I think it's probably time to just let it go. And let me tell you a secret. Galarraga is going to get killed his next time out. Just shelled. Trust me on this one.
Oh, and I suppose Wooden passing is a pretty big deal, too. RIP. Fifth best Wizard ever behind Merlin, Gandalf, Raistlin, and that kid from that Nintendo movie.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Justin Smoak. Smoak is rising (sorry, had to be done). Uber-prospect and secret crush of mine Justin Smoak got the call up early this year after Chris Davis crashed and burned (and whiffed) for the second year in a row, and didn't exactly get off to a great start. All through April and May he never got his batting average over .200. There were good signs, however, such as a good OBP (around .310), a good BB/K ratio (nearly 1:1), and good power when he did make contact. One of these days, things were going to click. And it looks like they have. He went 8-18 this week, including a 3-3 with a HR game against the Rays, and has now raised his average to .212, which may not sound like much, but it's a huge improvement. Oh yeah, he also walked five times. Seriously, man, this kid can hit, and he's going to be a player for a long, long, time. Get on board.
2. Tommy Hunter. As long as I'm talking about how the Rangers' are stacking with youngster types, we might as well throw a little bit of praise Hunter's way after he tossed a complete game five-hitter on Saturday in his first start of the year. And it's not like he threw it against a crappy hitting team like the Mariners or Twins, he threw it against the Rays. Hunter, a top pitching prospect type, made his debut in 2008 and got destroyed in his three starts, but then came up again mid-year last season and ended up putting up respectable numbers with a 9-6 record, 4.10 ERA, and 1.30 WHIP in 19 starts. For some reason that I don't know, he started the season in the minors, but was recalled this weekend in time to completely shut down Tampa. Because the Rangers don't have enough blue-chippers (Smoak, Andrus, Feliz, Borbon, Max Ramirez, and the list seriously goes on and on and on.) I don't really believe in Hunter, however, because there's no such thing as a good fat pitcher. 6-3, 280 lbs.? Oof.
3. Ray Allen. Game 1: 27 minutes, 0 three-pointers, 12 points, Celtics loss. Game 2: 44 minutes, 8 three-pointers, 32 points, Celtics win. Watching that game 2 tonight, Allen is clearly a major, major key for the Celtics if they're going to win. In game 1 he was limited by a bunch of terrible foul calls against him, but tonight he was able to get free and he lit up the Lakers for 7 threes in the first-half, which tied a finals record for a full game. Pierce is being limited pretty well by Artest and Garnett has shown that he's aged ten years in the last two real years, so it's basically up to Allen and Rondo, and they came through (Rondo had a triple double) to pull it out. They needed this one, and Allen was the biggest reason they got it. Plus that jumper is just so beautiful. What's prettier than a Ray Allen jumper. Nothing, that's what. And if you disagree you're a stupid liar.
4. Ubaldo Jimenez. I know I already wrote about Ubaldo early last week in his very own spotlight post, but I have to point him out once again because he won once again. My favorite part is that he pitched seven innings and gave up two runs, and it raised his ERA by 19%. He's now 11-1, with an ERA under one, and by all accounts is completely unhittable. Nobody can hit his fastball, and nobody can hit his changeup. And both his curve and his slider are above average. His BABIP and runner strand rate are outside of the normal range, so he should come back to earth, but watching him pitch I'm not sure. He seriously looks ridiculous out there. I feel like I'm watching Bob Gibson or the bizarro Brad Radke. He probably has around 22 starts or so remaining, so 30 wins is basically out of the question, but I can see him getting to 25-27, which would be the most since Bob Welch's 27 twenty years. Yes, he's that good. At least so far.
5. Troy Glaus. I seriously thought Glaus was retired, but it turns out he's playing 3B for the Braves, which is where I thought Chipper Jones played. Clearly I don't know what's going on. Especially because Glaus homered four times last week. That gives him 11 this year. That's as many as A-Rod, Joe Mauer, Ian Kinsler, and Nick Punto have combined. And Troy Glaus is like, 45. He should be playing softball with Matt Stairs and Matthew LeCroy, but instead he's killing NL pitching. Makes no sense. Although I'd take him on the Twins. I tire of slap-hitting corner infielders easily, no matter the amount of bare-handed pick-ups they make.
WHO SUCKED
1. Zack Greinke. Did I, or did I not tell you about Zack Greinke? Now, after a 6 inning, 10 hit, 4 run outing, even the too great to be put into actual words Joe Posnanski agrees. Check out his full blog post here, but it highlights the same drop in velocity I brought up, and mentions how his slider isn't breaking like it used to - big keys in him missing bats, the #1 change from last season. Posnanski believes that it isn't Greinke's physical tools that are hurting him this year, but his confidence. Check out these quotes: "The last month I haven't really been myself, I guess. Everything looks tougher, like the hitters look better and the strike zone looks smaller. It just seems tougher out there at the moment." and about his slider, "I was probably striking out like six guys a game last year on a slider, and now I probably do one or two a game. I still throw it, but I don't know why it's not working. But obviously, something's wrong with it. I don't know." Now it's not like his numbers are Kevin Mulvey-esque or anything and he's still one of the best pitchers in baseball, but it sounds like his head is all out of whack. And for a guy like Greinke who has had some mental problems before, that is a huge red flag. I hope he can get his head right and not go into a shame spiral, because when he's dominant he's about as fun to watch pitch as there is.
2. Ricky Rubio. It seems Mr. Rubio has no interest in coming to the NBA until after next season, and is only interested in becoming a Timberwolf if things "get better" and "gel." Well excuse me, your majesty. Did they not scout the arrogance on this kid? I'm starting to hope he never ends up a Wolf. Hopefully they can just go ahead and trade his rights. Maybe they can include him in a sign and trade with the Heat and get Dwyane Wade. I'm just sayin' that Al Jefferson, Corey Brewer, and the rights to Rubio would work under the salary cap rules to get Wade. And, if they do that trade, that still leaves them enough to sign Bosh. So Bosh, Love, Wade, Flynn, and Evan Turner after he slips to #4. Sounds about right.
3. Matt Wieters. Good god this is some kind of world-record slump. But do you remember when Jesus was in that slump and ended up getting crucified for it? And then three days later he smashed through that rock and flew up to heaven? Expect Wieters to be rebirthed in three days. Wednesday versus C.C. Sabathia. Make your time.
4. Denard Span. Since we are talking world record slumps, how can I leave out Spansy? He tripled on Sunday, which was his first hit in June, and his 1-5 on the day was a huge improvement over the 1-20 he had put up so far in the week. Span's average has now dipped down to .266, but because he has such a good command of the strike zone and such good plate patience, even when he's slumping with the bat he's still valuable because he gets on base due to walks. Of course, with the injuries piling up to the point where Matt Tolbert and Brendan Harris are now considered regualrs, Span's bat is sorely needed. Also, why did Brendan Harris play first base with Morneau out? Are we serious here that Jim Thome is really too old and too slow that he can't fill in in an emergency? With nearly ever big bat out of the lineup for various reasons it would have been a pretty good idea to get Thome in there. Either he's become completely immobile or Gardy is an idiot. I know which way I'm leaning.
5. Nick Blackburn. Staying with your precious Twinkies, Blackburn really stayed hot, didn't he? After a May in which he posted a 2.65 ERA and looked like he could be half as good as Dawger thinks he is, he came crashing back hard this week, going 0-2 and lasting a total of just six and a third innings, givng up 20 hits (yes, 20) and 10 runs while striking out zero. Yes, zero. See, here's the problem with Blackburn - if he's not hitting his exact spots, he gets destroyed because he doesn't have good stuff. He has good control and good sinker which can be a great weapon when he can keep it down and move it in and out, but if he's not he can't get away with just throwing. When opponents swing at his pitches they swing and miss only 5.6% of the time - lowest in the majors - so he needs the ground balls. Obviously, this week he couldn't hit the corners and didn't keep the ball down, and he got knocked all over the yard. This is exhibit A through exhibit Z of while he'll never be a top-line pitcher, and will always be mid to end of the rotation type. I still like him and all, but there are going to be plenty more games like this in his future. Zero margin for error.
Just kidding. Yes, it was a big deal and even the kind of thing we discussed around the office the day after, but I think it's probably time to just let it go. And let me tell you a secret. Galarraga is going to get killed his next time out. Just shelled. Trust me on this one.
Oh, and I suppose Wooden passing is a pretty big deal, too. RIP. Fifth best Wizard ever behind Merlin, Gandalf, Raistlin, and that kid from that Nintendo movie.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Justin Smoak. Smoak is rising (sorry, had to be done). Uber-prospect and secret crush of mine Justin Smoak got the call up early this year after Chris Davis crashed and burned (and whiffed) for the second year in a row, and didn't exactly get off to a great start. All through April and May he never got his batting average over .200. There were good signs, however, such as a good OBP (around .310), a good BB/K ratio (nearly 1:1), and good power when he did make contact. One of these days, things were going to click. And it looks like they have. He went 8-18 this week, including a 3-3 with a HR game against the Rays, and has now raised his average to .212, which may not sound like much, but it's a huge improvement. Oh yeah, he also walked five times. Seriously, man, this kid can hit, and he's going to be a player for a long, long, time. Get on board.
2. Tommy Hunter. As long as I'm talking about how the Rangers' are stacking with youngster types, we might as well throw a little bit of praise Hunter's way after he tossed a complete game five-hitter on Saturday in his first start of the year. And it's not like he threw it against a crappy hitting team like the Mariners or Twins, he threw it against the Rays. Hunter, a top pitching prospect type, made his debut in 2008 and got destroyed in his three starts, but then came up again mid-year last season and ended up putting up respectable numbers with a 9-6 record, 4.10 ERA, and 1.30 WHIP in 19 starts. For some reason that I don't know, he started the season in the minors, but was recalled this weekend in time to completely shut down Tampa. Because the Rangers don't have enough blue-chippers (Smoak, Andrus, Feliz, Borbon, Max Ramirez, and the list seriously goes on and on and on.) I don't really believe in Hunter, however, because there's no such thing as a good fat pitcher. 6-3, 280 lbs.? Oof.
3. Ray Allen. Game 1: 27 minutes, 0 three-pointers, 12 points, Celtics loss. Game 2: 44 minutes, 8 three-pointers, 32 points, Celtics win. Watching that game 2 tonight, Allen is clearly a major, major key for the Celtics if they're going to win. In game 1 he was limited by a bunch of terrible foul calls against him, but tonight he was able to get free and he lit up the Lakers for 7 threes in the first-half, which tied a finals record for a full game. Pierce is being limited pretty well by Artest and Garnett has shown that he's aged ten years in the last two real years, so it's basically up to Allen and Rondo, and they came through (Rondo had a triple double) to pull it out. They needed this one, and Allen was the biggest reason they got it. Plus that jumper is just so beautiful. What's prettier than a Ray Allen jumper. Nothing, that's what. And if you disagree you're a stupid liar.
4. Ubaldo Jimenez. I know I already wrote about Ubaldo early last week in his very own spotlight post, but I have to point him out once again because he won once again. My favorite part is that he pitched seven innings and gave up two runs, and it raised his ERA by 19%. He's now 11-1, with an ERA under one, and by all accounts is completely unhittable. Nobody can hit his fastball, and nobody can hit his changeup. And both his curve and his slider are above average. His BABIP and runner strand rate are outside of the normal range, so he should come back to earth, but watching him pitch I'm not sure. He seriously looks ridiculous out there. I feel like I'm watching Bob Gibson or the bizarro Brad Radke. He probably has around 22 starts or so remaining, so 30 wins is basically out of the question, but I can see him getting to 25-27, which would be the most since Bob Welch's 27 twenty years. Yes, he's that good. At least so far.
5. Troy Glaus. I seriously thought Glaus was retired, but it turns out he's playing 3B for the Braves, which is where I thought Chipper Jones played. Clearly I don't know what's going on. Especially because Glaus homered four times last week. That gives him 11 this year. That's as many as A-Rod, Joe Mauer, Ian Kinsler, and Nick Punto have combined. And Troy Glaus is like, 45. He should be playing softball with Matt Stairs and Matthew LeCroy, but instead he's killing NL pitching. Makes no sense. Although I'd take him on the Twins. I tire of slap-hitting corner infielders easily, no matter the amount of bare-handed pick-ups they make.
WHO SUCKED
1. Zack Greinke. Did I, or did I not tell you about Zack Greinke? Now, after a 6 inning, 10 hit, 4 run outing, even the too great to be put into actual words Joe Posnanski agrees. Check out his full blog post here, but it highlights the same drop in velocity I brought up, and mentions how his slider isn't breaking like it used to - big keys in him missing bats, the #1 change from last season. Posnanski believes that it isn't Greinke's physical tools that are hurting him this year, but his confidence. Check out these quotes: "The last month I haven't really been myself, I guess. Everything looks tougher, like the hitters look better and the strike zone looks smaller. It just seems tougher out there at the moment." and about his slider, "I was probably striking out like six guys a game last year on a slider, and now I probably do one or two a game. I still throw it, but I don't know why it's not working. But obviously, something's wrong with it. I don't know." Now it's not like his numbers are Kevin Mulvey-esque or anything and he's still one of the best pitchers in baseball, but it sounds like his head is all out of whack. And for a guy like Greinke who has had some mental problems before, that is a huge red flag. I hope he can get his head right and not go into a shame spiral, because when he's dominant he's about as fun to watch pitch as there is.
2. Ricky Rubio. It seems Mr. Rubio has no interest in coming to the NBA until after next season, and is only interested in becoming a Timberwolf if things "get better" and "gel." Well excuse me, your majesty. Did they not scout the arrogance on this kid? I'm starting to hope he never ends up a Wolf. Hopefully they can just go ahead and trade his rights. Maybe they can include him in a sign and trade with the Heat and get Dwyane Wade. I'm just sayin' that Al Jefferson, Corey Brewer, and the rights to Rubio would work under the salary cap rules to get Wade. And, if they do that trade, that still leaves them enough to sign Bosh. So Bosh, Love, Wade, Flynn, and Evan Turner after he slips to #4. Sounds about right.
3. Matt Wieters. Good god this is some kind of world-record slump. But do you remember when Jesus was in that slump and ended up getting crucified for it? And then three days later he smashed through that rock and flew up to heaven? Expect Wieters to be rebirthed in three days. Wednesday versus C.C. Sabathia. Make your time.
4. Denard Span. Since we are talking world record slumps, how can I leave out Spansy? He tripled on Sunday, which was his first hit in June, and his 1-5 on the day was a huge improvement over the 1-20 he had put up so far in the week. Span's average has now dipped down to .266, but because he has such a good command of the strike zone and such good plate patience, even when he's slumping with the bat he's still valuable because he gets on base due to walks. Of course, with the injuries piling up to the point where Matt Tolbert and Brendan Harris are now considered regualrs, Span's bat is sorely needed. Also, why did Brendan Harris play first base with Morneau out? Are we serious here that Jim Thome is really too old and too slow that he can't fill in in an emergency? With nearly ever big bat out of the lineup for various reasons it would have been a pretty good idea to get Thome in there. Either he's become completely immobile or Gardy is an idiot. I know which way I'm leaning.
5. Nick Blackburn. Staying with your precious Twinkies, Blackburn really stayed hot, didn't he? After a May in which he posted a 2.65 ERA and looked like he could be half as good as Dawger thinks he is, he came crashing back hard this week, going 0-2 and lasting a total of just six and a third innings, givng up 20 hits (yes, 20) and 10 runs while striking out zero. Yes, zero. See, here's the problem with Blackburn - if he's not hitting his exact spots, he gets destroyed because he doesn't have good stuff. He has good control and good sinker which can be a great weapon when he can keep it down and move it in and out, but if he's not he can't get away with just throwing. When opponents swing at his pitches they swing and miss only 5.6% of the time - lowest in the majors - so he needs the ground balls. Obviously, this week he couldn't hit the corners and didn't keep the ball down, and he got knocked all over the yard. This is exhibit A through exhibit Z of while he'll never be a top-line pitcher, and will always be mid to end of the rotation type. I still like him and all, but there are going to be plenty more games like this in his future. Zero margin for error.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Zack Greinke has Lost Something
No, I'm not judging him based on his paucity of wins this year - I do actually understand baseball. And I know his basic numbers look pretty good; he has an ERA of 2.73 and a WHIP of 1.12. There's nothing wrong with those numbers, even if they aren't as dominating as last year. So dig deeper with me, won't you?
Let's start with a few basics. First, his K/9 is 7.5. Good, very good in fact, but a deep drop from the 9.5 he posted last year. At the same time, his HR/9 allowed has nearly doubled from 0.43 to 0.85. Again, good numbers, but substantially worse than last year. Opponents are hitting .248 against him this year, up from .232 last season, while his BABIP is at .296, below his career number of .314 (he was at .313 last year), which suggests that the opponents average is only going to increase from here.
The home run increase can be attributed to giving up more fly balls (41% FB last year, 46% this year) and a higher proportion of those are flying out of the park (6.8% of his fly balls have gone out this year compared to 4.5% last year).
What's causing this? I can see a couple of things, and the first is a drop in velocity on his fastball. Last year he averaged 93.7mph, this year he's down to 92.2mph - not an alarming drop, but enough to make a difference. And that difference has been enough to account for a huge difference in Greinke making batters miss. Last year, batters made contact just 77% of the time they swung at a Greinke pitch - this year that number is 87%. To put it in perspective, that 77% ranked him 17th in the majors. This season, that 87% number ranks him 105th out of the 115 pitchers who qualify for the ERA title.
Finally, there is a stat called FIP, which stands for Fielding Independent Pitching, which takes in all pitcher stats and spits out a number that is a projection of what you would expect the pitcher's ERA to be in a generic park with an average defense behind him. Last year, Greinke's FIP was 2.33. This year, it's 3.45.
In conclusion, although Zack Greinke is still a very good pitcher, but so far this year he's been no more than very good - not anywhere near the dominant force he was last season. Considering he was historically good last year and only managed to win 16 games, he's going to be lucky to hit 12 this year, which means that us trading him (along with Matt Kemp) for Jason Heyward, Ricky Nolasco, and Jimmy Rollins was definitely the right move.
Also I didn't start researching this to convince myself of that or anything, in case you're wondering.
By the way, prior to tonight A-Rod was 4-6 with 3 home runs against Matt Guerrier. Can we all please remember this when a bunch of yo-yos start stumping for Gardy as manager of the year? Please?
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
I Think We're Alone Now (Live Movie Blog)
Alright, it's time. I know I haven't done a live movie blog in a while, and I figure it's time to break it out again. I'm sitting here with some Red Stripe and looking for something to watch and it's time to break out the big gun. Yep, we're going with "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus." I've been sitting on this since I Tivo'd it in January because the title is just too perfect and I'm afraid I'm going to be let down. Then again, with a title like that it might also be the type of flick that doesn't take itself seriously, and that would suck too. I don't want to rip on self-aware crap movies, I want ones that actually think they're good. Let's find out what we have here together.
- Looks like we're getting started in the great frozen north which is where I'm guessing someone is going to thaw out a giant prehistoric shark. But more importantly, the opening credits inform me that our leads are Deborah Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas. Yes, that Debbie Gibson. Also yes, that Lorenzo Lamas, but you probably knew that part.
- They just showed a giant sheath of ice sliding off a glacial wall, which basically guarantees that they are going to end up blaming global warming in some way for this. Great. Nothing like getting a political statement from a crappy B movie, especially considering the science they usually use in these is less accurate than your average Delmon Young throw to the plate.
- On on mother effing cue, they show us a school of Hammerheads allegedly swimming around in Alaskan waters. God damn it, people. Hammerheads are tropical. I'm almost positive they only shark you'd find in Alaskan waters is the Greenland Shark. Why not just show some Greenland sharks? Lazy stupid morons. At least attempt to get it right. I know I'm a nerd, but even a minimum amount of research would tell you that you would never, ever, ever find a hammerhead anywhere near Alaska. It just makes me so mad.
- We're two minutes in. Two minutes. And now they show us reef sharks and manta rays. In Alaska. Frozen Alaskan waters. Reef sharks, manta rays, and hammerheads. How about you just toss in a tropical coral reef or the Loch Ness monster. At this point you've already destroyed your credibility. This is almost as bad as that goblin shark movie.
- Huh, Debbie Gibson is actually a halfway decent actress. She doesn't have much to work with here already. For example, some army guy dropped some kind of sonar bomb into the alaskan ocean and it's forcing this bunch of whales to start ramming glaciers. Uh oh and oh noes they rammed so much ice so effectively that they freed both a mega-shark and a giant octopus who were frozen in their endless struggle through eternity. I am going to go ahead and assume these are the titular creatures. Heh, titular.
- Oooh, and right away the giant octopus attacks an oil drilling platform and crushes it to death. That is a really, really big octopus. Also to the best of my knowledge no giant octopus like that ever existed. I can't confirm for sure since I'm just a shark nerd and not an octopus nerd, but based on this movie's complete disregard for factual scientific science I'm going to assume they made that all up.
- They just found a dead whale basically bitten in half and the guy who is going to turn out to be the stuffy professor who never believes there's a giant shark says it was killed by a boat propeller. Based on the size of half of the whale, the boat would have had to the size of Rhode Island to have propellers that big. Also, the whole "it wasn't a shark it was a boating accident" thing was already done by Jaws, and every other shark-related movie since. At least be original in your crappiness.
- Debbie Gibson just jedi mind-tricked some security guard so she could get into some random giant tent and examine the dead whale body. Damn what the rules say! She's a rebel. She's also singing to the whale "I Think We're Alone Now."
- Some asian with glasses is yelling at some other asian with a goatee.
- Oh for the love of god. The giant shark just lept out of the ocean to grab and eat a plane. I don't even know where to start with this. First, the plane had just broken cloud cover which means the shark jumped a minimum of 5,000 feet in the air. Second, the shark was at least 5 times longer than the plane, despite the fact that the biggest estimate for a Megalodon would put it at about a quarter of the length of a 747. Finally, why the hell would a just de-frozen shark jump up in the air and grab a plane when it has had no learnings that plane = food. Plus, a shark that size wouldn't be interested in people because sharks need to eat high amounts of fat from like whales and seals and stuff, and I am pretty sure metal isn't high in fat content.
- I take it back. Debbie Gibson is not a good actress. She should stick to posing in playboy. Google is your friend.
- Now the asian guy with glasses is meeting with Debbie and her mentor science guy who is being played by a guy who reminds me of the guy from Cocktail and has the same accent. Remember in that movie when Elisabeth Shue took her top off? She was awesome.
- So Asian guy thinks the thing killing stuff is an Octopus, while Debbie and Cocktail guy think it's a shark. OMG THEY'RE BOTH RIGHT! TWO PRESHISTORIC CREATURES UNLEASHED UPON THE WORLD SIMULTANEOUSLY!!
- I was going to write about something else that just happened but then, just now as predicted, Debbie gives us this "The Polar Ice Caps are melting so rapidly, maybe this is our comeuppance." THANK YOU MOVIE! I WILL NOW REPENT MY LIFE AND BUY AN ELECTRIC SCOOTER AND COOK MEALS OVER AN OPEN FLAME! YOU HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE!
- This is a really god-damned stupid movie.
- The shark just killed a navy battle ship, but they couldn't be bothered to show anything to us because they're stupid and cheap. Instead it would show the shark swimming, kind of, in some of the worst CGI I've ever seen (comparable to Etch-A-Sketch) and then cut to some army guys in a room that was shaking. Do that three times, then cut to head army guy yelling "noooooooooooooo" and then fade to black. Thanks a lot. That was super entertaining. I hope Aquaman shows up and kills everybody dead.
- Asian guy with glasses just now compared the two creatures to Hurricane Katrina. I can't decide if that's offensive, and since I'm not affiliated with and really wasn't affected by the hurricane, I'm just going to chalk it up as being unfunny instead. Which once again proves that asians aren't funny.
- Shocking. Military guy wants to destroy the creatures, while the Sciencey people want to study them. Just like every animal destruction movie ever. And did I really say Debbie Gibson was a good actor, earlier? I need to be gut-punched.
- Do you think Wilson Ramos is more like the next Johnny Bench or the next Mickey Cochrane? Nevermind, I'm being silly. He's the next Matt Wieters. Who, by the way, has 3x the home runs of your precious Joe Mauer. Since HRs are the only really viable way to evaluate a hitter, I'd say it's clear Wieters is tops. Other than Ramos.
- Asian guy is now telling some sob story about how he has always wanted to be a marine biologist ever since he saw a dolphin get killed in a net when he was a kid but his family all wanted him to follow in his footsteps. I didn't catch what it was they wanted him to be, but I'm going to assume ping-pong player. And now he's humping Debbie Gibson. Clearly she's pretty easy if that story worked. Eww Debbie.
- Since we're talking about studs, guess how many AL third-basemen have a better batting average than Evan Longoria? Zero. Guess how many have a better OBP. Zero. Guess how many have a better SLG. Zero. Plus, he'll steal your girlfriend. Such a pimp.
- Some fighter guy like Maverick or Goose just got slapped out of the air by an octopus tentacle, which means I guess nobody learned anything from the plane that got eaten by the shark earlier. Also, since I'm sure you want to know how awesome it looked, it was a screen of a plane, then a shot of a tentacle, then the guy inside the plane with red flights flashing and him yelling. Then they cut to the people in the big ship running this whole operation and they were all sad. This movie rocks.
- Nice pony-tail, Lamas.
- I still don't get the switch from Sci Fi Channel to SyFy Channel. I mean, you're basically going to get two reactions - either irritation or indifference, so what's the point? Not really seeing an upside here. This is the worst marketing decision since they eliminated Crystal Pepsi.
- For a movie about a giant shark and a giant octopus (which doesn't and never has existed) there has been a stunning lack of footage of said monsters. And not the good kind of tension building keeping the monster hidden like in Jaws, the bad kind. Like that one time I accidentally watched a male model show - The girls never came! The girls never came!
- They're doing something with pheremones to attract the monsters or something, but for some reason these pheremones are a glowing fluorescent green, like the ooze from TMNT. Oh my god! Maybe it is the ooze, and when the octo and shark meet up and fight they'll break the container and the ooze will spill everywhere and create a giant Shark/Octopus hybrid! That would be the greatest thing ever! Please let this happen. Or at least turn Lamas into some human/shark creature. He'd probably be more articulate.
- I've never watched a movie that utilized shaky camerawork more often. It's worse than the Blair Witch Project. More like if the Blair Witch Project was filmed by Michael J Fox. Or any movie, really.
- Sweet jesus. The shark somehow disappeared from the radar of the navy battleship which is currently attempting to shoot it with torpedos. We've already established this thing is at least 200 feet long. Nice radar. Must be american-made. Oh, there is is. It ate the ship, and then it ate the Golden Gate Bridge. I'm assuming we're not in Alaska anymore, but with the fact-finding and accuracy we've seen in this movie who the hell knows. I'm guessing it'll go after Big Ben next. Not Roethlisberger. He'd probably hump it while it tried to get away.
- The new plan is to drop nukes into San Francisco Bay (the shark) and somewhere in Tokyo that I don't remember (the octopus) in order to "avoid a global catastrophe." I don't even know where to begin.
- Awesome. Now they are going to try to get them to fight and kill each other instead, because "Sharks and Octopi are natural enemies." Good lord. This seriously puts every other one of these movies to shame, even that one with the Baldwin brother. Don't worry, I'll be back with another one after this. I have something called "Mega Piranha" waiting for me. Hard to get a better title than that.
- I'm really sick of fantasy baseball. Our pitchers just keep getting Greinke'd. First off, we have Greinke, who has a 2.27 ERA and zero wins. Then tonight, Cole Hamels goes 8 innings, gives up 1 run, no win. Last night Mike Leake pitched a gem and got nothing. It's not fair. We have the best team by far (Wieters AND Longoria) by are just 2-2 because of cheaters and cheating and bad luck. We should be 5-0, even though it's only been four weeks. Yep, we're that good.
- By the way, I really wanted to like V, but I just couldn't get into it. I feel like I'm insulting my childhood. Then again, a certain recent remake of a certain awesome classic kind of destroyed it already. Unfortunately, I can't elaborate.
- I see Wilson Ramos is 0-3 with a K right now tonight. I know a little bit of regression to the mean is inevitable, but if he doesn't end up hitting at least .500 this year, I think you have to consider his season a failure.
- I'm thinking Gardy should have stuck with his unbreakable routine and brought in Rauch to finish the game. Oops. (I'm getting back to the movie, I swear).
- $20 says this movie ends with another message about the evils of global warming.
- Debbie and Asian guy just had a really touching conversation via video computer phone. He's apparently in Asian now which I guess makes sense, but they're in love or something which doesn't. And their romantic talk involved some quote from my guy Julius Caesar, but it was a pretty gay one. The whole thing was awful. Kind of gave me a hankerin' for watching Anakin and Padme.
- Mmmmmmmmmmmm.....Padme. Remember in the second movie how the somehow manages to rip her shirt just perfectly to get some nice mid-riff action? I couldn't decide if that was awesome or stupid, and I still can't decide. I know I didn't complain though.
- I quite literally have no idea what is going on anymore, but Debbie Gibson just punched some dude out (unfortunately not Lamas. or the Asian guy) and then somebody said "Ice Wall! Right Ahead!" which I think was supposed to be an homage to Titanic. This is pretty surreal. But not in a good way in the least.
- So the Shark and Octopus are fighting, just like in Debbie's master plan (as natural enemies are wont to do), and they're actually showing the fight. Sort of. They're also using the shaking camera manuever, and when they do show them it looks like something I could create in the bathtub using Wonderbaby's toys pretty easily. And she doesn't even have an octopus.
- How do they keep losing the creatures on their radar? This is about the fourth or fifth time. Way to keep going back to the same plot device over and over again. And, speaking of, we now have more shaking cameras. I really can't stress enough how prevalent this has been. This movie is as predictable as a Jesse Crain outing. As shaky, too.
- The octopus from Super Mario just squeezed the asian guy in half, but $50 says he shows up again because he and Debbie are in love and we need a happy ending to get us all through the day and our pathetic lives. Also I'm betting we aren't getting any TMNT ooze ending, which is a total bummer.
- I think they're looping the footage from the octo/shark fight.
- And the two creatures actually managed to kill each other, which is obviously super realistic. And there's asian guy to give us a little more Anakin-level banter in case you needed a little more. Just fantastic. I've seen a lot of crappy movies, but this is the worst. Other than Jumper.
- And we're set up for a sequel, because some old guy just gave our heros a file and said "here's something else" or some similar line. They better not be in Piranha. I can't take it again.
- Well there you have it. I hope you enjoyed this, because I sure as hell didn't, and I'm once again questioning why I keep doing this to myself. It must be for you, because I love you. Seriously, though, if I have to choose between a Giant Shark and a Giant Octopus, I'm going with crab juice.
- And just so this night isn't a total loss, here is a picture Snake snapped of a guy who was sitting near us at the Twins game we went to on Monday. I'm not even going to go with any commentary, I think it speaks for itself.
- Looks like we're getting started in the great frozen north which is where I'm guessing someone is going to thaw out a giant prehistoric shark. But more importantly, the opening credits inform me that our leads are Deborah Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas. Yes, that Debbie Gibson. Also yes, that Lorenzo Lamas, but you probably knew that part.
- They just showed a giant sheath of ice sliding off a glacial wall, which basically guarantees that they are going to end up blaming global warming in some way for this. Great. Nothing like getting a political statement from a crappy B movie, especially considering the science they usually use in these is less accurate than your average Delmon Young throw to the plate.
- On on mother effing cue, they show us a school of Hammerheads allegedly swimming around in Alaskan waters. God damn it, people. Hammerheads are tropical. I'm almost positive they only shark you'd find in Alaskan waters is the Greenland Shark. Why not just show some Greenland sharks? Lazy stupid morons. At least attempt to get it right. I know I'm a nerd, but even a minimum amount of research would tell you that you would never, ever, ever find a hammerhead anywhere near Alaska. It just makes me so mad.
- We're two minutes in. Two minutes. And now they show us reef sharks and manta rays. In Alaska. Frozen Alaskan waters. Reef sharks, manta rays, and hammerheads. How about you just toss in a tropical coral reef or the Loch Ness monster. At this point you've already destroyed your credibility. This is almost as bad as that goblin shark movie.
- Huh, Debbie Gibson is actually a halfway decent actress. She doesn't have much to work with here already. For example, some army guy dropped some kind of sonar bomb into the alaskan ocean and it's forcing this bunch of whales to start ramming glaciers. Uh oh and oh noes they rammed so much ice so effectively that they freed both a mega-shark and a giant octopus who were frozen in their endless struggle through eternity. I am going to go ahead and assume these are the titular creatures. Heh, titular.
- Oooh, and right away the giant octopus attacks an oil drilling platform and crushes it to death. That is a really, really big octopus. Also to the best of my knowledge no giant octopus like that ever existed. I can't confirm for sure since I'm just a shark nerd and not an octopus nerd, but based on this movie's complete disregard for factual scientific science I'm going to assume they made that all up.
- They just found a dead whale basically bitten in half and the guy who is going to turn out to be the stuffy professor who never believes there's a giant shark says it was killed by a boat propeller. Based on the size of half of the whale, the boat would have had to the size of Rhode Island to have propellers that big. Also, the whole "it wasn't a shark it was a boating accident" thing was already done by Jaws, and every other shark-related movie since. At least be original in your crappiness.
- Debbie Gibson just jedi mind-tricked some security guard so she could get into some random giant tent and examine the dead whale body. Damn what the rules say! She's a rebel. She's also singing to the whale "I Think We're Alone Now."
- Some asian with glasses is yelling at some other asian with a goatee.
- Oh for the love of god. The giant shark just lept out of the ocean to grab and eat a plane. I don't even know where to start with this. First, the plane had just broken cloud cover which means the shark jumped a minimum of 5,000 feet in the air. Second, the shark was at least 5 times longer than the plane, despite the fact that the biggest estimate for a Megalodon would put it at about a quarter of the length of a 747. Finally, why the hell would a just de-frozen shark jump up in the air and grab a plane when it has had no learnings that plane = food. Plus, a shark that size wouldn't be interested in people because sharks need to eat high amounts of fat from like whales and seals and stuff, and I am pretty sure metal isn't high in fat content.
- I take it back. Debbie Gibson is not a good actress. She should stick to posing in playboy. Google is your friend.
- Now the asian guy with glasses is meeting with Debbie and her mentor science guy who is being played by a guy who reminds me of the guy from Cocktail and has the same accent. Remember in that movie when Elisabeth Shue took her top off? She was awesome.
- So Asian guy thinks the thing killing stuff is an Octopus, while Debbie and Cocktail guy think it's a shark. OMG THEY'RE BOTH RIGHT! TWO PRESHISTORIC CREATURES UNLEASHED UPON THE WORLD SIMULTANEOUSLY!!
- I was going to write about something else that just happened but then, just now as predicted, Debbie gives us this "The Polar Ice Caps are melting so rapidly, maybe this is our comeuppance." THANK YOU MOVIE! I WILL NOW REPENT MY LIFE AND BUY AN ELECTRIC SCOOTER AND COOK MEALS OVER AN OPEN FLAME! YOU HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE!
- This is a really god-damned stupid movie.
- The shark just killed a navy battle ship, but they couldn't be bothered to show anything to us because they're stupid and cheap. Instead it would show the shark swimming, kind of, in some of the worst CGI I've ever seen (comparable to Etch-A-Sketch) and then cut to some army guys in a room that was shaking. Do that three times, then cut to head army guy yelling "noooooooooooooo" and then fade to black. Thanks a lot. That was super entertaining. I hope Aquaman shows up and kills everybody dead.
- Asian guy with glasses just now compared the two creatures to Hurricane Katrina. I can't decide if that's offensive, and since I'm not affiliated with and really wasn't affected by the hurricane, I'm just going to chalk it up as being unfunny instead. Which once again proves that asians aren't funny.
- Shocking. Military guy wants to destroy the creatures, while the Sciencey people want to study them. Just like every animal destruction movie ever. And did I really say Debbie Gibson was a good actor, earlier? I need to be gut-punched.
- Do you think Wilson Ramos is more like the next Johnny Bench or the next Mickey Cochrane? Nevermind, I'm being silly. He's the next Matt Wieters. Who, by the way, has 3x the home runs of your precious Joe Mauer. Since HRs are the only really viable way to evaluate a hitter, I'd say it's clear Wieters is tops. Other than Ramos.
- Asian guy is now telling some sob story about how he has always wanted to be a marine biologist ever since he saw a dolphin get killed in a net when he was a kid but his family all wanted him to follow in his footsteps. I didn't catch what it was they wanted him to be, but I'm going to assume ping-pong player. And now he's humping Debbie Gibson. Clearly she's pretty easy if that story worked. Eww Debbie.
- Since we're talking about studs, guess how many AL third-basemen have a better batting average than Evan Longoria? Zero. Guess how many have a better OBP. Zero. Guess how many have a better SLG. Zero. Plus, he'll steal your girlfriend. Such a pimp.
- Some fighter guy like Maverick or Goose just got slapped out of the air by an octopus tentacle, which means I guess nobody learned anything from the plane that got eaten by the shark earlier. Also, since I'm sure you want to know how awesome it looked, it was a screen of a plane, then a shot of a tentacle, then the guy inside the plane with red flights flashing and him yelling. Then they cut to the people in the big ship running this whole operation and they were all sad. This movie rocks.
- Nice pony-tail, Lamas.
- I still don't get the switch from Sci Fi Channel to SyFy Channel. I mean, you're basically going to get two reactions - either irritation or indifference, so what's the point? Not really seeing an upside here. This is the worst marketing decision since they eliminated Crystal Pepsi.
- For a movie about a giant shark and a giant octopus (which doesn't and never has existed) there has been a stunning lack of footage of said monsters. And not the good kind of tension building keeping the monster hidden like in Jaws, the bad kind. Like that one time I accidentally watched a male model show - The girls never came! The girls never came!
- They're doing something with pheremones to attract the monsters or something, but for some reason these pheremones are a glowing fluorescent green, like the ooze from TMNT. Oh my god! Maybe it is the ooze, and when the octo and shark meet up and fight they'll break the container and the ooze will spill everywhere and create a giant Shark/Octopus hybrid! That would be the greatest thing ever! Please let this happen. Or at least turn Lamas into some human/shark creature. He'd probably be more articulate.
- I've never watched a movie that utilized shaky camerawork more often. It's worse than the Blair Witch Project. More like if the Blair Witch Project was filmed by Michael J Fox. Or any movie, really.
- Sweet jesus. The shark somehow disappeared from the radar of the navy battleship which is currently attempting to shoot it with torpedos. We've already established this thing is at least 200 feet long. Nice radar. Must be american-made. Oh, there is is. It ate the ship, and then it ate the Golden Gate Bridge. I'm assuming we're not in Alaska anymore, but with the fact-finding and accuracy we've seen in this movie who the hell knows. I'm guessing it'll go after Big Ben next. Not Roethlisberger. He'd probably hump it while it tried to get away.
- The new plan is to drop nukes into San Francisco Bay (the shark) and somewhere in Tokyo that I don't remember (the octopus) in order to "avoid a global catastrophe." I don't even know where to begin.
- Awesome. Now they are going to try to get them to fight and kill each other instead, because "Sharks and Octopi are natural enemies." Good lord. This seriously puts every other one of these movies to shame, even that one with the Baldwin brother. Don't worry, I'll be back with another one after this. I have something called "Mega Piranha" waiting for me. Hard to get a better title than that.
- I'm really sick of fantasy baseball. Our pitchers just keep getting Greinke'd. First off, we have Greinke, who has a 2.27 ERA and zero wins. Then tonight, Cole Hamels goes 8 innings, gives up 1 run, no win. Last night Mike Leake pitched a gem and got nothing. It's not fair. We have the best team by far (Wieters AND Longoria) by are just 2-2 because of cheaters and cheating and bad luck. We should be 5-0, even though it's only been four weeks. Yep, we're that good.
- By the way, I really wanted to like V, but I just couldn't get into it. I feel like I'm insulting my childhood. Then again, a certain recent remake of a certain awesome classic kind of destroyed it already. Unfortunately, I can't elaborate.
- I see Wilson Ramos is 0-3 with a K right now tonight. I know a little bit of regression to the mean is inevitable, but if he doesn't end up hitting at least .500 this year, I think you have to consider his season a failure.
- I'm thinking Gardy should have stuck with his unbreakable routine and brought in Rauch to finish the game. Oops. (I'm getting back to the movie, I swear).
- $20 says this movie ends with another message about the evils of global warming.
- Debbie and Asian guy just had a really touching conversation via video computer phone. He's apparently in Asian now which I guess makes sense, but they're in love or something which doesn't. And their romantic talk involved some quote from my guy Julius Caesar, but it was a pretty gay one. The whole thing was awful. Kind of gave me a hankerin' for watching Anakin and Padme.
- Mmmmmmmmmmmm.....Padme. Remember in the second movie how the somehow manages to rip her shirt just perfectly to get some nice mid-riff action? I couldn't decide if that was awesome or stupid, and I still can't decide. I know I didn't complain though.
- Ok, so if you're going to make a movie with two giant sea creatures, and advertise in your title that you have two giant sea creatures, do me a favor and have some kind of a special effects budget so most of the time you can show the creature instead of just shake a camera and when you do show it it doesn't look like it's out of Super Mario Brothers. Seriously, the octopus looks just like this:
- I quite literally have no idea what is going on anymore, but Debbie Gibson just punched some dude out (unfortunately not Lamas. or the Asian guy) and then somebody said "Ice Wall! Right Ahead!" which I think was supposed to be an homage to Titanic. This is pretty surreal. But not in a good way in the least.
- So the Shark and Octopus are fighting, just like in Debbie's master plan (as natural enemies are wont to do), and they're actually showing the fight. Sort of. They're also using the shaking camera manuever, and when they do show them it looks like something I could create in the bathtub using Wonderbaby's toys pretty easily. And she doesn't even have an octopus.
- How do they keep losing the creatures on their radar? This is about the fourth or fifth time. Way to keep going back to the same plot device over and over again. And, speaking of, we now have more shaking cameras. I really can't stress enough how prevalent this has been. This movie is as predictable as a Jesse Crain outing. As shaky, too.
- The octopus from Super Mario just squeezed the asian guy in half, but $50 says he shows up again because he and Debbie are in love and we need a happy ending to get us all through the day and our pathetic lives. Also I'm betting we aren't getting any TMNT ooze ending, which is a total bummer.
- I think they're looping the footage from the octo/shark fight.
- And the two creatures actually managed to kill each other, which is obviously super realistic. And there's asian guy to give us a little more Anakin-level banter in case you needed a little more. Just fantastic. I've seen a lot of crappy movies, but this is the worst. Other than Jumper.
- And we're set up for a sequel, because some old guy just gave our heros a file and said "here's something else" or some similar line. They better not be in Piranha. I can't take it again.
- Well there you have it. I hope you enjoyed this, because I sure as hell didn't, and I'm once again questioning why I keep doing this to myself. It must be for you, because I love you. Seriously, though, if I have to choose between a Giant Shark and a Giant Octopus, I'm going with crab juice.
- And just so this night isn't a total loss, here is a picture Snake snapped of a guy who was sitting near us at the Twins game we went to on Monday. I'm not even going to go with any commentary, I think it speaks for itself.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Week in Review - 4/26/2010
Obviously the big news of the weekend was Cory Joseph signing on with the Texas Longhorns for next season. I'm disappointed, of course, but not surprised. When every article discussing him and his possibilities only talked about Villanova and Texas, I started to think that maybe Gopher fans were fooling themselves, much the way Iowa State fans acted about Harrison Barnes - the rest of the world knew they were just in as a finalist as a courtesy. I don't know if that is the case with Joseph and the Gophers or not, but he's going to Texas and should do well. Of course, the delusions are already coming, as I read from one Gopher fan that "Cory isn't as good as Devoe" and expect a lot more to come, as well as quite a bit of reveling in any Texas misery that may come their way this year.
I say good luck to Cory, and I have no real issue with his decision. Texas is a far better program than Minnesota, and I don't know how anybody could argue otherwise. Despite cries that Rick Barnes underachieves with the talent he gets, and he probably does, he still makes the tournament every single year and puts players in the NBA. Really the only thing the Gophers had going for them were that Cory's friend and his brother were here, but Texas had two of his former teammates as well - one of which who was a pretty good friend. I'm pretty sure if I were in the same spot (and didn't have my homegrown Gopher bias) I would have made the same decision. It would have been a hell of a get if Tubby could have pulled this one off. It's time to close up shop and go into next year with what's already in the holster - I don't really like anything that's still out there for 2010. This team should be around a 6-7 seed this year, and hopefully good enough to finally win a first round game.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Justin Morneau. I'm guessing you haven't realized this because you really aren't all that bright, but guess who leads the major league in on-base percentage; yep, the giant-headed Canadian. He's currently reaching base at a .511 clip (including .607 this week), which combined with his .368 average and .647 slugging means he is straight up mashing the ball right now. Even when he's not lacing base hits he's walking like crazy - 20 times already this year, leading the major leagues. That actually brings me to another point, which is that the Twins are actually leading the majors in walks as a team. They're leading the league. Doesn't that just seem bizarre? Did you ever think you'd see the day? Morneau obviously leads at his position, while Mauer is fourth, Hudson fifth, Hardy 7th, Brendan Harris is 12th in limited playing time, and amongst outfielders Span is second and Kubel is fourth. Really out of the important batters only Cuddyer and Delmon don't walk (Thome has more than either of them), and it's just fun to watch a bunch of guys on the same time who know how to get the pitch they want and know how to work the pitcher to get it - and it's effective to, as seen by them having the AL Central basically locked up already.
2. Mike Leake. He didn't have two wins this week and wasn't especially dominant, but he did pick up his first career win so it's time to recognize him a bit. Snake is the one who tipped me off to the Cincinnati rookie, so of course he's on our fantasy team, and he's looking really solid this year - just one year removed from Arizona State. He was picked by the Reds ninth overall last season, and made his debut this season with no minor league ball in between - something the Nationals are too stupid or too cheap to due with Strasburg. He's gone at least 6 and 2/3 innings in each of his three starts this year, and his overall numbers are a 1.55 WHIP, 3.92 ERA, and a 13/13 K/BB ratio. None of those are especially impressive, but remember those are through just three professional starts at any level. Once this kid makes the adjustment he's going to be very, very good. Think Mike Mussina-like.
3. San Diego Padres. I suppose it's time to recognize that the Padres have a good team. There's still a chance it's all a fluke, and a good chance at that, but with a - record it's time to at least consider the possibility that the Padres have turned it around and are a quality team again. They're 11-7 now after losing to the Reds on Sunday, but before that they had won 8 in a row, and still sit atop the NL West, ahead of the Giants, Rockies, and Dodgers. And, as you would probably guess, they are doing it with pitching. Their team ERA is just 2.73 - tops in the majors - and both the starters and the bullpen and having great years thus far. They'll most likely fade by the all-star break, but there are enough good young arms here that if they get any offense at all they might be able to play the spoiler. In any case, it's a lot of fun having the Padres be a good team.
4. Ike Davis. The Mets promoted Ike to the majors a bit early in order to jump start their offense and fan interest, and so far Mr. Davis has responded well and done exactly what they needed him to. He has hit .318 since he was called up on Monday, has reached base in every game except last night's shortened game, and the Mets have gone 6-1. They're still a crappy team, but they are playing quite a bit better in the last week. Clearly, it's all because of Ike Davis. This guy must be the next David Eckstein - you know, how he makes everybody else on the team better. Or he's the Mets answer to Jeter, but far less gay and annoying. Looking like a Twins vs. Mets World Series. Book your tickets now.
5. Doug Fister. You've probably never heard of this guy, I know I certainly hadn't, but he's a second-year starter for the Mariners and he's putting up some pretty impressive numbers so far this year. He'd be sitting at 3-1 right now if the world's worst closer other than Bobby Jenks, David Aardsma, hadn't blown his win on Saturday. Fister went 8 strong innings, giving up just 2 runs on 8 hits, which followed up his earlier outing on Monday, when he went seven solid against the Orioles, allowing just 1 run on 3 hits. He's currently at just a 1.67 ERA with a WHIP of 0.93. His lack of strikeouts (just 4.5 per 9) and a sickly-low BABIP against (.212) say that he's not the kind of ace who is going to be able to keep this up, but for now at least he's looking like a pretty solid middle-of-the-rotation type starter. And also "Fister? I hardly knew 'er!"
WHO SUCKED
1. Royals' Bullpen. Seriously, how many games of Greinke's are these guys going to blow? Zach's struggled a bit out of the gate, but on Wednesday he left the game after the 7th with a lead after giving up just two hits (of course, one of the was a 2-run home run) and then people named Josh Rupe and John Parrish take just three batters to blow the lead. And I guess I just answered my own question. Look at these names before you get to Soria: Josh Rupe, John Parrish, Dusty Hughes, Robinson Tejeda, Juan Cruz, and Kyle Farnsworth (and we saw most of these guys melt-down to varying degrees in the Twins series over the weekend). Pretty much all these guys have already failed elsewhere, and I don't mean failed as starters I mean they've already failed at being middle relievers. The only guy who was every good was Farnsworth, but along with the weird perm and nerd glasses he's lost the ability to pitch as well. Just brutal. And I know you don't care about mine and Snake's fantasy team, except that really you do if you just admit it to yourself, but we need those wins from Greinke. It looks like he's going to have to go 8 innings to get to Soria or just finish it out himself if he's ever going to win again. And if he keeps not throwing enough strikes he's never going to get there. Nobody can hit you Zacky, just toss that pill over the plate. And win, baby. Win.
2. Carlos Zambrano. There really isn't a good way to spin getting demoted from #1 starter to bullpen set-up guy into a positive. So, uh. I guess that's it then.
3. Pittsburgh Pirates. So much for the great Pirate resurgence. They started out pretty well, but unlike the Padres have been unable to sustain it, going - this week, and man, the fall has been spectacular. They started the week 7-6 and are finishing it 7-12 after getting swept by the Brewers and the piss-poor Astros. And that Brewer series was especially horrible, with the Pirates losing 8-1, 8-0, and 20-0. Overall for the week they were outscored 55-9. Special shout-out to their pathetic offense, by the way. Akinori Iwamura 1-18. Ronny Cedeno 2-17. Lastings Milledge 2-14. Delwyn Young 1-14. Just a really spectacular effort all around.
4. Seattle Seahawks. I suppose on the weekend of the NFL draft it's inevitable that I'd have to comment on something football related, and the Seahawks are the lucky team to draw my considerable wrath. This is about their draft, which based on my limited knowledge actually looks like a really good one, but it's based on their brand new stable of running backs. The returners are Julius Jones and someone named Justin Forsett, and they actually traded for LenDale White and Leon Washington this weekend. Like, actually traded for them, not just signed them to a minor-league deal or whatever. Look at those four running backs. You know, you can keep throwing turds in a bowl, it doesn't make it a salad. And, more importantly, you don't win friends with salad.
5. Jason Kubel. You know I frickin' love the guy, but what in the holy hell is going on? This week was just a complete nightmare (1-19, 1 single, 8 Ks), which dropped his season average to .169 and his slugging to a Punto-esque .288. He's still walking (13 this year) so even when he isn't hitting he brings value to the team, but he needs to stop being so crappy or I will totally break up with him. I still have faith, but I'm pretty sure he's getting benched for this fantasy week.
I feel like I should have had some kind of NBA playoffs thing in here somewhere, but so far they've been pretty boring. Also, in my defense,
"FISTER? I damn near killed 'er!"
I say good luck to Cory, and I have no real issue with his decision. Texas is a far better program than Minnesota, and I don't know how anybody could argue otherwise. Despite cries that Rick Barnes underachieves with the talent he gets, and he probably does, he still makes the tournament every single year and puts players in the NBA. Really the only thing the Gophers had going for them were that Cory's friend and his brother were here, but Texas had two of his former teammates as well - one of which who was a pretty good friend. I'm pretty sure if I were in the same spot (and didn't have my homegrown Gopher bias) I would have made the same decision. It would have been a hell of a get if Tubby could have pulled this one off. It's time to close up shop and go into next year with what's already in the holster - I don't really like anything that's still out there for 2010. This team should be around a 6-7 seed this year, and hopefully good enough to finally win a first round game.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Justin Morneau. I'm guessing you haven't realized this because you really aren't all that bright, but guess who leads the major league in on-base percentage; yep, the giant-headed Canadian. He's currently reaching base at a .511 clip (including .607 this week), which combined with his .368 average and .647 slugging means he is straight up mashing the ball right now. Even when he's not lacing base hits he's walking like crazy - 20 times already this year, leading the major leagues. That actually brings me to another point, which is that the Twins are actually leading the majors in walks as a team. They're leading the league. Doesn't that just seem bizarre? Did you ever think you'd see the day? Morneau obviously leads at his position, while Mauer is fourth, Hudson fifth, Hardy 7th, Brendan Harris is 12th in limited playing time, and amongst outfielders Span is second and Kubel is fourth. Really out of the important batters only Cuddyer and Delmon don't walk (Thome has more than either of them), and it's just fun to watch a bunch of guys on the same time who know how to get the pitch they want and know how to work the pitcher to get it - and it's effective to, as seen by them having the AL Central basically locked up already.
2. Mike Leake. He didn't have two wins this week and wasn't especially dominant, but he did pick up his first career win so it's time to recognize him a bit. Snake is the one who tipped me off to the Cincinnati rookie, so of course he's on our fantasy team, and he's looking really solid this year - just one year removed from Arizona State. He was picked by the Reds ninth overall last season, and made his debut this season with no minor league ball in between - something the Nationals are too stupid or too cheap to due with Strasburg. He's gone at least 6 and 2/3 innings in each of his three starts this year, and his overall numbers are a 1.55 WHIP, 3.92 ERA, and a 13/13 K/BB ratio. None of those are especially impressive, but remember those are through just three professional starts at any level. Once this kid makes the adjustment he's going to be very, very good. Think Mike Mussina-like.
3. San Diego Padres. I suppose it's time to recognize that the Padres have a good team. There's still a chance it's all a fluke, and a good chance at that, but with a - record it's time to at least consider the possibility that the Padres have turned it around and are a quality team again. They're 11-7 now after losing to the Reds on Sunday, but before that they had won 8 in a row, and still sit atop the NL West, ahead of the Giants, Rockies, and Dodgers. And, as you would probably guess, they are doing it with pitching. Their team ERA is just 2.73 - tops in the majors - and both the starters and the bullpen and having great years thus far. They'll most likely fade by the all-star break, but there are enough good young arms here that if they get any offense at all they might be able to play the spoiler. In any case, it's a lot of fun having the Padres be a good team.
4. Ike Davis. The Mets promoted Ike to the majors a bit early in order to jump start their offense and fan interest, and so far Mr. Davis has responded well and done exactly what they needed him to. He has hit .318 since he was called up on Monday, has reached base in every game except last night's shortened game, and the Mets have gone 6-1. They're still a crappy team, but they are playing quite a bit better in the last week. Clearly, it's all because of Ike Davis. This guy must be the next David Eckstein - you know, how he makes everybody else on the team better. Or he's the Mets answer to Jeter, but far less gay and annoying. Looking like a Twins vs. Mets World Series. Book your tickets now.
5. Doug Fister. You've probably never heard of this guy, I know I certainly hadn't, but he's a second-year starter for the Mariners and he's putting up some pretty impressive numbers so far this year. He'd be sitting at 3-1 right now if the world's worst closer other than Bobby Jenks, David Aardsma, hadn't blown his win on Saturday. Fister went 8 strong innings, giving up just 2 runs on 8 hits, which followed up his earlier outing on Monday, when he went seven solid against the Orioles, allowing just 1 run on 3 hits. He's currently at just a 1.67 ERA with a WHIP of 0.93. His lack of strikeouts (just 4.5 per 9) and a sickly-low BABIP against (.212) say that he's not the kind of ace who is going to be able to keep this up, but for now at least he's looking like a pretty solid middle-of-the-rotation type starter. And also "Fister? I hardly knew 'er!"
WHO SUCKED
1. Royals' Bullpen. Seriously, how many games of Greinke's are these guys going to blow? Zach's struggled a bit out of the gate, but on Wednesday he left the game after the 7th with a lead after giving up just two hits (of course, one of the was a 2-run home run) and then people named Josh Rupe and John Parrish take just three batters to blow the lead. And I guess I just answered my own question. Look at these names before you get to Soria: Josh Rupe, John Parrish, Dusty Hughes, Robinson Tejeda, Juan Cruz, and Kyle Farnsworth (and we saw most of these guys melt-down to varying degrees in the Twins series over the weekend). Pretty much all these guys have already failed elsewhere, and I don't mean failed as starters I mean they've already failed at being middle relievers. The only guy who was every good was Farnsworth, but along with the weird perm and nerd glasses he's lost the ability to pitch as well. Just brutal. And I know you don't care about mine and Snake's fantasy team, except that really you do if you just admit it to yourself, but we need those wins from Greinke. It looks like he's going to have to go 8 innings to get to Soria or just finish it out himself if he's ever going to win again. And if he keeps not throwing enough strikes he's never going to get there. Nobody can hit you Zacky, just toss that pill over the plate. And win, baby. Win.
2. Carlos Zambrano. There really isn't a good way to spin getting demoted from #1 starter to bullpen set-up guy into a positive. So, uh. I guess that's it then.
3. Pittsburgh Pirates. So much for the great Pirate resurgence. They started out pretty well, but unlike the Padres have been unable to sustain it, going - this week, and man, the fall has been spectacular. They started the week 7-6 and are finishing it 7-12 after getting swept by the Brewers and the piss-poor Astros. And that Brewer series was especially horrible, with the Pirates losing 8-1, 8-0, and 20-0. Overall for the week they were outscored 55-9. Special shout-out to their pathetic offense, by the way. Akinori Iwamura 1-18. Ronny Cedeno 2-17. Lastings Milledge 2-14. Delwyn Young 1-14. Just a really spectacular effort all around.
4. Seattle Seahawks. I suppose on the weekend of the NFL draft it's inevitable that I'd have to comment on something football related, and the Seahawks are the lucky team to draw my considerable wrath. This is about their draft, which based on my limited knowledge actually looks like a really good one, but it's based on their brand new stable of running backs. The returners are Julius Jones and someone named Justin Forsett, and they actually traded for LenDale White and Leon Washington this weekend. Like, actually traded for them, not just signed them to a minor-league deal or whatever. Look at those four running backs. You know, you can keep throwing turds in a bowl, it doesn't make it a salad. And, more importantly, you don't win friends with salad.
5. Jason Kubel. You know I frickin' love the guy, but what in the holy hell is going on? This week was just a complete nightmare (1-19, 1 single, 8 Ks), which dropped his season average to .169 and his slugging to a Punto-esque .288. He's still walking (13 this year) so even when he isn't hitting he brings value to the team, but he needs to stop being so crappy or I will totally break up with him. I still have faith, but I'm pretty sure he's getting benched for this fantasy week.
I feel like I should have had some kind of NBA playoffs thing in here somewhere, but so far they've been pretty boring. Also, in my defense,
"FISTER? I damn near killed 'er!"
Monday, November 23, 2009
Week In Review - 11/23/09
If you've been watching basketball on ESPN this week, you would have noticed them pimping the hell out of their NCAA Basketball Encyclopedia, and probably become a bit annoyed by it. I got annoyed by it, but I have to tell you that I have this book and it is totally awesome. There is more information in there than any person could possibly need, and I mean that in a good way. Like, did you know Delino DeShields was a top basketball prospect coming out of high school? It's full of all that kind of stuff and more. It's not like a baseball encyclopedia, like where you could say "I wonder what Kenny Lofton's stats were when he played for Arizona" and then look him up, but it's got tons of other info. It lists every D-I team, their best players, best teams, best coaches, some cool little fun facts and other information, as well as their record every single year and their leading scorer, rebounder, and assister for each season. Plus a bunch more cool stuff. I highly, highly recommend it.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Zack Greinke. This was refreshing. The BBWAA actually didn't screw this up and voted Greinke the American League Cy Young award, which is at it should have been. In case you forgot, Greinke went 16-8 with a 2.16 ERA and a 1.07 WHIP this year, leading the league in both of those last two metrics, and if you watched him at all he seemed even better than that. I figured the voters would screw this one up, since they love giving awards to players on good teams (The royals were awful), they love evaluating players based on wins (six pitchers had more wins than Greinke), and they love Yankees (Sabathia looked like a perfect candidate for the idiot voters). But, for once, they made the right call. Also a congrats to Tim Lincecum for winning the NL award for the second year in a row. Who would have known Mitch Kramer would have grown up to be such a success.
2. Syracuse. It seems my prediction of "Syracuse will suck this year" might be way, way off, while the cretins who vote in the polls and had them 24th were closer to the truth (also still underrating them). After the two gimme wins last week, they headed to Madison Square Garden for the final four of the Coaches vs. Cancer classic, and walked out with the title. They did it in impressive fashion, as well, beating #12 Cal in the semis 95-73 and #4 North Carolina 87-71 in the championship. Their defense is still top notch, Scoop Jardine and Brandon Triche have filled in for Jonny Flynn nicely, Andy Rautins is actually making shots, Wes Johnson is as good as advertised, and Arinze Onuaku has stepped his game up. Very nice week for the Orange. I still kind of think this might be a house of cards a bit, and also that Cal and UNC were majorly overrated, but Syracuse has already proved me wrong, and it wouldn't shock if they continue to do so.
3. John Wall. Well, I think we can go ahead and say "believe the hype." Wall was the top recruit this season, was picked by someone I read as the National Player of the Year, and so far neither of those seem too ridiculous. In his three games this year, Wall has averaged 20.3 points, 4.0 rebounds, 7.3 assists, 2.7 steals, and 1.0 blocks per game, all while shooting 56% from the floor. His turnovers are about the only thing remotely concerning (averaging four per game), but he only had two in Saturday's win (to 11 assists) and for a freshman this early in the season it's not a surprise they are a little high. Kentucky still hasn't really played anybody, and won't until December, but for now Wall looks very good, and Calipari is certainly squeezing as much out of him as he can in what his likely his only college season - he's played 38, 37, and 35 minutes in the three games.
4. Minnesota Vikings. Are you like me and life as a Minnesota fan, and specifically a Viking fan, has conditioned you to expect the worst at all times? I mean the Vikes are absolutely rolling, now at 9-1 and just destroying teams, such as the poor, hapless Seahawks who they rolled to such a degree that T-Jax actually played almost an entire half. Everything is perfect. Brett Favre has played nearly flawlessly this season. Adrian Peterson has gone from "possibly the best back in football" to "the best back in football." Percy Harvin is heading towards a possible rookie-of-the-year award. Sidney Rice has realized his untapped potential and vaulted into maybe a top 10 receiver in the NFL (Don't believe me? He's 17th in catches and 3rd in receiving yards in the NFL). And the defense, although showing a few weaknesses at times, is still an elite unit with a front four that is basically destroying everybody - And all this without Antoine Winfield. And yet, instead of relaxing, I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop and someting to go horribly, horribly wrong. Will it be a Favre injury? An injury to some one else? Or will it be smooth sailing until an epic choke job in the playoffs? I don't know, but you know damn well it's going to be something.
5. Rodney Williams. I think it's finally time to recognize that this kid might not just beat beating up on poor teams, he might legitimately be a Big Ten Freshman of the Year candidate. It seemed the consensus on the Gopher freshmen coming into the season was Royce = FOY candidate, Cobbs = immediate backup, might steal the starting spot, and Rodney = project, possible redshirt. Well, after putting up games of 14, 14, and 17 points, all on better than 58% shooting, and adding an average of three boards and two steals per, he's suddenly looking far beyond a redshirt. Besides his stellar defense and insane athleticism, which were given, he's answered questions about his offense by showing a nice outside touch (3-8 from three) and a good offensive IQ. I'm starting to wish I took him in my fantasy college hoops league. Although I did get Damian Johnson, who is just ridiculous in every way.
To give you some example, in the scoring system our league uses (pts, rebs = +1, asts = +2, stl, blks = +3, TO = -2), he has put up 46, 40, and 42 points. Last year's returning leader was Luke Harangody (also on my team), and he averaged 42 per game. I realize DJ probably won't be able to continue to put up those kind of numbers, especially the blocks and steals, once competition improves, but in any case, he is just so, so valuable, and I'm talking real life - not fantasy. I don't care who ends up leading the Gophers in which statistical categories, Johnson is hands down this team's MVP. Except maybe Ralph.
WHO SUCKED
1. Penn State. Ouch. It looks like Iowa and Indiana won't be battling for 11th place by themselves, the post-Geary Claxton era is looking ugly. The Nittany Lions were basically Talor Battle and that's it, and needed somebody to step up and help out this year. That hasn't happened, and Penn State basically embarrassed themselves at the Charleston Classic this weekend, finishing in 7th place (out of 8). It was a pretty low-level tournament, and was set up for a South Carolina/Miami final, with Penn State and South Florida as potential sleepers and then four cupcakey-type teams. Well, the final happened, but Penn State never got their sleeper campaign going, dropping their opener to UNC-Wilmington. Ok, fine. At least they should be able to rip through the consolation bracket and salvage some pride, right? Wrong again. They lost their first consolation game to Tulane, setting up an epic seventh place game against Davidson, which they mercifully won. Gopher fans have been there - remember the Old Spice Classic? - so we feel your pain, Penn State.
2. Pac 10 Hoops. The Pac was already said to be down this year, but things might be worse than originally thought, especially after watching one of their two "top flight" teams get swept by Ohio State and Syracuse in the Coaches vs. Cancer Classic, and do so without much of a fight (although to be completely fair, the Bears were missing a couple of players). There are a ton of other black marks as well; Arizona State needed a miracle finish to beat a terrible TCU team, Stanford lost to Oral Roberts, UCLA lost to Bryce Webster and CS - Fullerton, USC was knocked off by a god awful Loyola Marymount team, Oregon lost to Portland, and Oregon State (the conference's big sleeper) lost to Texas Tech to drop to 1-2 and then lost on Saturday to Sacramento State - one of the worst teams in the country - and that all happened just this week. I honestly can't remember ever seeing a major conference struggle this mightily this early. At least the Washington schools are still undefeated, although neither has really played anyone yet. The real winner in this is Arizona, who was heading for a down year and whose 24 straight years with an NCAA Tournament bid record was in jeopardy. With a decent team, in what suddenly looks like a super weak conference, we could be looking at 25.
3. Pittsburgh Steelers. Funny thing about the NFL this year, there are a handful of teams that are so gad awful they never win and never even threaten to win: Oakland, St. Louis, Detroit, Cleveland, and Kansas City. Except - whoops - Kansas City beat the Steelers on Sunday, 27-24 in overtime - and did so without Dwayne Bowe, who is suspending for cheating. I have no idea how it happened. Roethlisberger threw for 398 yards, but threw two picks and the Steelers turned the ball over three times, and then allowed Matt Cassell to have a nearly perfect second half and overtime, leading to four scoring drives including the game-winning field goal. I don't even know what else to say. This is like when Forrest Gump won the Oscar over Pulp Fiction. Oakland also beat Cincinnati, and in even more embarrassing fashion, but I still feel like the Pitt loss was more stunning even though the Bengals have a better record than the Steelers. I guess I've learned that you can never trust the Bengals completely. Kind of like a wife or girlfriend. Or any female, really.
4. Gopher football. Did you ever think you'd pine for the days of Glen Mason? I certainly didn't, and yet, that's what I found myself thinking on Sunday watching Maroney run for the Patriots. I found myself harkening back to the days of Barbaroney (and G-Russ) and thinking, at least when Mason was here the Gophers had some talented players. At least they were exciting and fun to watch. And then I stopped myself, and realized what I was saying. I wish Glen Mason was still here. I WISH. GLEN MASON. WAS STILL HERE. And I have a feeling if you're reading this and haven't thought that, you're thinking it right now. Isn't that the most damning evidence that the Brewster era has been a failure?
5. NCAA Fascists. FREE RENARDO SIDNEY!! FREE RENARDO SIDNEY!!! FREE RENARDO SIDNEY!! Who's with me? FREE RENARDO SIDNEY!! FREE RENARDO SIDNEY!! FREE RENARDO SIDNEY!! FREE RENARDO... (also now featured on the front page of the espn college basketball section).
I am crazy fired up for college basketball this year, and this is one of the best times of the season with all the holiday tournaments going on. We already had the Coaches vs. Classic and Puerto Rico Tip-Off winners, but there's plenty more going on, and I'm most interested in the Maui Classic (other than the 76 Classic, of course). I've been pimping Cincinnati as a final four sleeper this year, and this will be their first chance to show if I'm at least near the right track or not. They start off with a good Vanderbilt team today on ESPN2 at 4:30 - check them out.
One other quick note from the weekend - the Gophers opponent in the Big10/ACC Challenge, Miami, won the Charleston Classic this weekend by beating Tulane, UNC-Wilmington, and South Carolina. That's not really all that impressive, since the first two are weak teams (although Wilmington beat Penn State) and South Carolina's second best player went down with a knee injury seven minutes into the game and never returned, but still, it boosts Miami's profile and therefore the Gophers' if they manage a win on the 2nd - which I certainly think they can.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Zack Greinke. This was refreshing. The BBWAA actually didn't screw this up and voted Greinke the American League Cy Young award, which is at it should have been. In case you forgot, Greinke went 16-8 with a 2.16 ERA and a 1.07 WHIP this year, leading the league in both of those last two metrics, and if you watched him at all he seemed even better than that. I figured the voters would screw this one up, since they love giving awards to players on good teams (The royals were awful), they love evaluating players based on wins (six pitchers had more wins than Greinke), and they love Yankees (Sabathia looked like a perfect candidate for the idiot voters). But, for once, they made the right call. Also a congrats to Tim Lincecum for winning the NL award for the second year in a row. Who would have known Mitch Kramer would have grown up to be such a success.
2. Syracuse. It seems my prediction of "Syracuse will suck this year" might be way, way off, while the cretins who vote in the polls and had them 24th were closer to the truth (also still underrating them). After the two gimme wins last week, they headed to Madison Square Garden for the final four of the Coaches vs. Cancer classic, and walked out with the title. They did it in impressive fashion, as well, beating #12 Cal in the semis 95-73 and #4 North Carolina 87-71 in the championship. Their defense is still top notch, Scoop Jardine and Brandon Triche have filled in for Jonny Flynn nicely, Andy Rautins is actually making shots, Wes Johnson is as good as advertised, and Arinze Onuaku has stepped his game up. Very nice week for the Orange. I still kind of think this might be a house of cards a bit, and also that Cal and UNC were majorly overrated, but Syracuse has already proved me wrong, and it wouldn't shock if they continue to do so.
3. John Wall. Well, I think we can go ahead and say "believe the hype." Wall was the top recruit this season, was picked by someone I read as the National Player of the Year, and so far neither of those seem too ridiculous. In his three games this year, Wall has averaged 20.3 points, 4.0 rebounds, 7.3 assists, 2.7 steals, and 1.0 blocks per game, all while shooting 56% from the floor. His turnovers are about the only thing remotely concerning (averaging four per game), but he only had two in Saturday's win (to 11 assists) and for a freshman this early in the season it's not a surprise they are a little high. Kentucky still hasn't really played anybody, and won't until December, but for now Wall looks very good, and Calipari is certainly squeezing as much out of him as he can in what his likely his only college season - he's played 38, 37, and 35 minutes in the three games.
4. Minnesota Vikings. Are you like me and life as a Minnesota fan, and specifically a Viking fan, has conditioned you to expect the worst at all times? I mean the Vikes are absolutely rolling, now at 9-1 and just destroying teams, such as the poor, hapless Seahawks who they rolled to such a degree that T-Jax actually played almost an entire half. Everything is perfect. Brett Favre has played nearly flawlessly this season. Adrian Peterson has gone from "possibly the best back in football" to "the best back in football." Percy Harvin is heading towards a possible rookie-of-the-year award. Sidney Rice has realized his untapped potential and vaulted into maybe a top 10 receiver in the NFL (Don't believe me? He's 17th in catches and 3rd in receiving yards in the NFL). And the defense, although showing a few weaknesses at times, is still an elite unit with a front four that is basically destroying everybody - And all this without Antoine Winfield. And yet, instead of relaxing, I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop and someting to go horribly, horribly wrong. Will it be a Favre injury? An injury to some one else? Or will it be smooth sailing until an epic choke job in the playoffs? I don't know, but you know damn well it's going to be something.
5. Rodney Williams. I think it's finally time to recognize that this kid might not just beat beating up on poor teams, he might legitimately be a Big Ten Freshman of the Year candidate. It seemed the consensus on the Gopher freshmen coming into the season was Royce = FOY candidate, Cobbs = immediate backup, might steal the starting spot, and Rodney = project, possible redshirt. Well, after putting up games of 14, 14, and 17 points, all on better than 58% shooting, and adding an average of three boards and two steals per, he's suddenly looking far beyond a redshirt. Besides his stellar defense and insane athleticism, which were given, he's answered questions about his offense by showing a nice outside touch (3-8 from three) and a good offensive IQ. I'm starting to wish I took him in my fantasy college hoops league. Although I did get Damian Johnson, who is just ridiculous in every way.
To give you some example, in the scoring system our league uses (pts, rebs = +1, asts = +2, stl, blks = +3, TO = -2), he has put up 46, 40, and 42 points. Last year's returning leader was Luke Harangody (also on my team), and he averaged 42 per game. I realize DJ probably won't be able to continue to put up those kind of numbers, especially the blocks and steals, once competition improves, but in any case, he is just so, so valuable, and I'm talking real life - not fantasy. I don't care who ends up leading the Gophers in which statistical categories, Johnson is hands down this team's MVP. Except maybe Ralph.
WHO SUCKED
1. Penn State. Ouch. It looks like Iowa and Indiana won't be battling for 11th place by themselves, the post-Geary Claxton era is looking ugly. The Nittany Lions were basically Talor Battle and that's it, and needed somebody to step up and help out this year. That hasn't happened, and Penn State basically embarrassed themselves at the Charleston Classic this weekend, finishing in 7th place (out of 8). It was a pretty low-level tournament, and was set up for a South Carolina/Miami final, with Penn State and South Florida as potential sleepers and then four cupcakey-type teams. Well, the final happened, but Penn State never got their sleeper campaign going, dropping their opener to UNC-Wilmington. Ok, fine. At least they should be able to rip through the consolation bracket and salvage some pride, right? Wrong again. They lost their first consolation game to Tulane, setting up an epic seventh place game against Davidson, which they mercifully won. Gopher fans have been there - remember the Old Spice Classic? - so we feel your pain, Penn State.
2. Pac 10 Hoops. The Pac was already said to be down this year, but things might be worse than originally thought, especially after watching one of their two "top flight" teams get swept by Ohio State and Syracuse in the Coaches vs. Cancer Classic, and do so without much of a fight (although to be completely fair, the Bears were missing a couple of players). There are a ton of other black marks as well; Arizona State needed a miracle finish to beat a terrible TCU team, Stanford lost to Oral Roberts, UCLA lost to Bryce Webster and CS - Fullerton, USC was knocked off by a god awful Loyola Marymount team, Oregon lost to Portland, and Oregon State (the conference's big sleeper) lost to Texas Tech to drop to 1-2 and then lost on Saturday to Sacramento State - one of the worst teams in the country - and that all happened just this week. I honestly can't remember ever seeing a major conference struggle this mightily this early. At least the Washington schools are still undefeated, although neither has really played anyone yet. The real winner in this is Arizona, who was heading for a down year and whose 24 straight years with an NCAA Tournament bid record was in jeopardy. With a decent team, in what suddenly looks like a super weak conference, we could be looking at 25.
3. Pittsburgh Steelers. Funny thing about the NFL this year, there are a handful of teams that are so gad awful they never win and never even threaten to win: Oakland, St. Louis, Detroit, Cleveland, and Kansas City. Except - whoops - Kansas City beat the Steelers on Sunday, 27-24 in overtime - and did so without Dwayne Bowe, who is suspending for cheating. I have no idea how it happened. Roethlisberger threw for 398 yards, but threw two picks and the Steelers turned the ball over three times, and then allowed Matt Cassell to have a nearly perfect second half and overtime, leading to four scoring drives including the game-winning field goal. I don't even know what else to say. This is like when Forrest Gump won the Oscar over Pulp Fiction. Oakland also beat Cincinnati, and in even more embarrassing fashion, but I still feel like the Pitt loss was more stunning even though the Bengals have a better record than the Steelers. I guess I've learned that you can never trust the Bengals completely. Kind of like a wife or girlfriend. Or any female, really.
4. Gopher football. Did you ever think you'd pine for the days of Glen Mason? I certainly didn't, and yet, that's what I found myself thinking on Sunday watching Maroney run for the Patriots. I found myself harkening back to the days of Barbaroney (and G-Russ) and thinking, at least when Mason was here the Gophers had some talented players. At least they were exciting and fun to watch. And then I stopped myself, and realized what I was saying. I wish Glen Mason was still here. I WISH. GLEN MASON. WAS STILL HERE. And I have a feeling if you're reading this and haven't thought that, you're thinking it right now. Isn't that the most damning evidence that the Brewster era has been a failure?
5. NCAA Fascists. FREE RENARDO SIDNEY!! FREE RENARDO SIDNEY!!! FREE RENARDO SIDNEY!! Who's with me? FREE RENARDO SIDNEY!! FREE RENARDO SIDNEY!! FREE RENARDO SIDNEY!! FREE RENARDO... (also now featured on the front page of the espn college basketball section).
I am crazy fired up for college basketball this year, and this is one of the best times of the season with all the holiday tournaments going on. We already had the Coaches vs. Classic and Puerto Rico Tip-Off winners, but there's plenty more going on, and I'm most interested in the Maui Classic (other than the 76 Classic, of course). I've been pimping Cincinnati as a final four sleeper this year, and this will be their first chance to show if I'm at least near the right track or not. They start off with a good Vanderbilt team today on ESPN2 at 4:30 - check them out.
One other quick note from the weekend - the Gophers opponent in the Big10/ACC Challenge, Miami, won the Charleston Classic this weekend by beating Tulane, UNC-Wilmington, and South Carolina. That's not really all that impressive, since the first two are weak teams (although Wilmington beat Penn State) and South Carolina's second best player went down with a knee injury seven minutes into the game and never returned, but still, it boosts Miami's profile and therefore the Gophers' if they manage a win on the 2nd - which I certainly think they can.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Weekend Review - 9/28/2009
Obviously I survived our little cookout yesterday with Dawger, Super Sioux Fan, and Baby Dawger, and I had a shockingly good time. Super Sioux Fan didn't try to kill me (to my knowledge), we ate some good food, watched a hell of a win by the Vikes and a predictable loss by the Twins, I beat Dawger in HORSE, and learned that Vodka & Tab is actually pretty damn good. The day ended with hugs for all and by all, and I don't know which was scarier, when SSF hugged me, or when she hugged WonderbabyTM. Luckily, she decided not to kill either of us this time. Narrowly averted death, or grossly overestimated SSF craziness? I'll let you decide. Anyway, on to the stupid crap.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Jacob Edward Peavy. Great googily-moogily, how much does it suck that this guy is going to be in the AL Central until like, 2012 or something? In just his second start back from injury (since June 8th) he came out and completely shut down the Tigers Friday night, going seven scoreless innings allowing just six hits and striking out eight. The Sox (well, more accurately the Twins) needed him to throw that well too, since the White Sox bats weren't working against Tigers' starter Eddie Bonine who nobody has ever heard of. Bonine no-hit the Sox until their were 2 outs in the sixth, which is when Brandon "0 homers in the derby" Inge kicked away a routine groundball, letting Alex Rios reach. The next batter was David Beckham, who went yahtzee for the Sox first hit and gave them the 2-0 lead - which would also be the final margin. Anyway, this really sucks that Peavy is on the White Sox. AL pitchers are supposed to go over to the NL and dominate, not the other way around. It's going to be frustrating watching the Twins flail away against him.
2. Phil Mickelson. Well this was pretty unexpected. I thought Mickelson was essentially done for the year after the whole double cancer issue, and his play was showing it, but he came up huge and won the Tour Championship this weekend. He didn't have a finish in the top-25 in the five tournaments since the US Open, and started slowly this weekend with a 73 (+3) on Thursday, but he got better each day, closing it out 67-66-65, good enough for nine under par and a three shot win over a Tiger, not to mention an extra $1.35 million in the bank. Tiger ended up the winner of the $10 mil and the Fed Ex Cup, but this is a good win for Phil not only to build on, but to remind everybody that he's still the second best golfer in the world. I'm thinking 2010 might end up being a big year for him.
3. South Florida. Huge win over #18 Florida State on Saturday in Tallahassee, fueled by two major parts - QB B.J. Daniels and their defense, particularly the defensive line. The Bulls defense held the Seminoles to just 7 points and 16 rushing yards in their 17-7 upset, while sacking FSU QB Christian Ponder five times, forcing (and recovering) four fumbles, and putting so much pressure on the QB that FSU had to abandon anything down field. Daniels is an even better story - making his first career start, replacing four-year starter Matt Grothe who is now out for the season with an injury. Not only that, the Seminoles recruited Daniels but told him they wanted him as a WR, not as a QB, but he certainly showed them, tossing for 215 yards and 2 scores while rushing for 124 yards. It was the first time since 1986 FSU as allowed an opposing QB to run for over 100 yards, and is the first win over Florida's big three schools for the Bulls. I have a feeling they had a good time that night.
4. Zack Greinke. Seeing as the Twins' were fortunate enough to miss Mr. Greinke all season long, I never really got to see him pitch. Now that I have, holy dear god. This guy is ridiculous. His fastball is in the upper mid-nineties and tails about a foot, his curve falls off a cliff, and his change had guys lunging like Cuddyer after a slider in the dirt, but I'm talkiing good hitters like Kubel and Span. He shut down the Twins Sunday, and his season numbers are now a 16-8 record, a 2.06 ERA, and a 1.07 WHIP, and he's either first or second in every meaningful pitching category. Honestly, him losing the Cy Young might be a bigger travesty than Mauer losing the MVP. This one is a true test of how stupid award voters are, which makes me very nervous for Greinke. Here's hoping they make the right choice. Oh, and just for kicks, his ERA in September is 0.35. No lie.
5. Greg Lewis. That catch was sick. Absolutely gorgeous. I'll admit, when the Vikes picked up Lewis my reaction was to make a dismissive wanking motion, but it turns out I was dead wrong. Favre is the hero here, no doubt, for a great play on that finale as well as for leading the team on the game winning drive - one which T-Jax couldn't have pulled off - but if Lewis doesn't make that ridiculous catch that's the ball game, the Vikes are 2-1, and everybody is freaking out and wondering if the team sucks now. And speaking of sucks, it really sucks that Frank Gore is hurt. Not just because he is on my fantasy team either. Ok just kidding. That's pretty much the whole reason.
Here is Lewis's catch. If you haven't seen it, you need to watch it. If you have, are you telling me you don't want to see it again?
WHO SUCKED
1. Ole Miss. I had no idea Ole Miss was ranked #4 in football. I thought the only time they were good was when Eli Manning was slinging the pill all those years back and that they had faded back into mediocrity. Apparently not so, but they may be heading that way after laying an absolute egg and losing 16-10 to the unranked Gamecocks of South Carolina on Thursday. After looking into it, it turns out that this is the highest ranking the Rebels have had since 1970, and also that their QB, Jevan Snead is thought of as one of the best QBs in college football. He certainly didn't play like it, putting up a Jake Delhomme of a day, completing just 7 of 21 passes for the game and leading the Rebs on a drive of more than 49 yards just once. Oh well, another top 5 teams bites it. Maybe this will help get a non-BCS team like Boise into the championship game. Plus, I finally get to post this picture of Ole Miss chicks I've been holding onto.
3. Tampa Bay. Guess how many yards Tampa Bay gained Sunday against the Giants. Nevermind, it's impossible to even guess - it's 86. 86 yards. Eighty-six. And that's the entire game, mind you, not just a half or a quarter or a drive. Byron Leftwich, Tampa's QB and the guy I just picked up to be my backup QB, completed just seven of 16 attemps, for a huge total of 22 yards and a pick before being pulled for Josh Johnson who I have never heard of. Johnson was much more effective, completing four of ten for 36 yards, and also rushing once for a gain of 15. Funny thing about that 15 yard gain is that it made Johnson the leading rusher for the Bucs on the day. That vaunted three-headed monster at RB of Earnest Graham, Cadillac Williams, and Derrick Ward racked up a grand total of 13 yards, with Caddy leading the way with eight. Needless to say, they scored 0 points and are starting to look like they're going to give the Rams, Browns, and Raiders a run for that first overall pick in 2010, or as I like to call it, "The Sam Bradford Sweepstakes."
4. Jamarcus Russell. Remember when the Raiders took Russell first overall in the 2007 draft and everybody was like "Dude, what? This guy isn't a first overall type. There's way better guys like, oh, say Adrian Peterson available. If you really need a QB, trade down and take Brady Quinn at least. Good god, you're not really going to take J-Russ first are you?" Well, it keeps looking more and more like everybody was right. Russell laid his latest bomb on Sunday, completing 12-21 passes for a grand total of 61 yards (and 2 picks). That's five yards per completion. Five. I don't even know how that is possible. I wish I would have watched this game. Was it a series of shovel passes? Failed screen after failed screen? I'm stumped. That gave him a QB rating of 22.6, which will really drag down his season rating of 46.6 coming into the game. The best part? He's making north of $16 million this year. Awesome.
5. Francisco Liriano. Let's just go ahead and shut it down guys, it's over for Franky. In case you missed it, he decided he didn't even want to get out of the second inning against KC on Sunday, mainly because he once again refused to throw strikes and when he did people like frickin' Yuniesky Betancourt hit it eight billion miles. He needs to work his ass off this winter and figure something out, because his career is about thisclose to being over right now. Assuming he doesn't pitch again this season (please god), his final numbers are 5-13 with an ERA of 5.88 and a WHIP of 1.56. I don't have the time or inclination right now to get further into his numbers (Sidler, you still alive?), but things really aren't good. He's like the Jamarcus Russell of pitchers.
So that'll do it. Honorable mention for sucking to Terrell Owens, who didn't have a catch yesterday because he's gay.
I am off to the Detroit City tomorrow, and will be spending two nights in the toilet bowl of america - including one night when I'll be at Comerica Park to no doubt watch the Twins lose. For now I leave you with this awesome picture of Baby Dawger and WonderbabyTM.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Jacob Edward Peavy. Great googily-moogily, how much does it suck that this guy is going to be in the AL Central until like, 2012 or something? In just his second start back from injury (since June 8th) he came out and completely shut down the Tigers Friday night, going seven scoreless innings allowing just six hits and striking out eight. The Sox (well, more accurately the Twins) needed him to throw that well too, since the White Sox bats weren't working against Tigers' starter Eddie Bonine who nobody has ever heard of. Bonine no-hit the Sox until their were 2 outs in the sixth, which is when Brandon "0 homers in the derby" Inge kicked away a routine groundball, letting Alex Rios reach. The next batter was David Beckham, who went yahtzee for the Sox first hit and gave them the 2-0 lead - which would also be the final margin. Anyway, this really sucks that Peavy is on the White Sox. AL pitchers are supposed to go over to the NL and dominate, not the other way around. It's going to be frustrating watching the Twins flail away against him.
2. Phil Mickelson. Well this was pretty unexpected. I thought Mickelson was essentially done for the year after the whole double cancer issue, and his play was showing it, but he came up huge and won the Tour Championship this weekend. He didn't have a finish in the top-25 in the five tournaments since the US Open, and started slowly this weekend with a 73 (+3) on Thursday, but he got better each day, closing it out 67-66-65, good enough for nine under par and a three shot win over a Tiger, not to mention an extra $1.35 million in the bank. Tiger ended up the winner of the $10 mil and the Fed Ex Cup, but this is a good win for Phil not only to build on, but to remind everybody that he's still the second best golfer in the world. I'm thinking 2010 might end up being a big year for him.
3. South Florida. Huge win over #18 Florida State on Saturday in Tallahassee, fueled by two major parts - QB B.J. Daniels and their defense, particularly the defensive line. The Bulls defense held the Seminoles to just 7 points and 16 rushing yards in their 17-7 upset, while sacking FSU QB Christian Ponder five times, forcing (and recovering) four fumbles, and putting so much pressure on the QB that FSU had to abandon anything down field. Daniels is an even better story - making his first career start, replacing four-year starter Matt Grothe who is now out for the season with an injury. Not only that, the Seminoles recruited Daniels but told him they wanted him as a WR, not as a QB, but he certainly showed them, tossing for 215 yards and 2 scores while rushing for 124 yards. It was the first time since 1986 FSU as allowed an opposing QB to run for over 100 yards, and is the first win over Florida's big three schools for the Bulls. I have a feeling they had a good time that night.
4. Zack Greinke. Seeing as the Twins' were fortunate enough to miss Mr. Greinke all season long, I never really got to see him pitch. Now that I have, holy dear god. This guy is ridiculous. His fastball is in the upper mid-nineties and tails about a foot, his curve falls off a cliff, and his change had guys lunging like Cuddyer after a slider in the dirt, but I'm talkiing good hitters like Kubel and Span. He shut down the Twins Sunday, and his season numbers are now a 16-8 record, a 2.06 ERA, and a 1.07 WHIP, and he's either first or second in every meaningful pitching category. Honestly, him losing the Cy Young might be a bigger travesty than Mauer losing the MVP. This one is a true test of how stupid award voters are, which makes me very nervous for Greinke. Here's hoping they make the right choice. Oh, and just for kicks, his ERA in September is 0.35. No lie.
5. Greg Lewis. That catch was sick. Absolutely gorgeous. I'll admit, when the Vikes picked up Lewis my reaction was to make a dismissive wanking motion, but it turns out I was dead wrong. Favre is the hero here, no doubt, for a great play on that finale as well as for leading the team on the game winning drive - one which T-Jax couldn't have pulled off - but if Lewis doesn't make that ridiculous catch that's the ball game, the Vikes are 2-1, and everybody is freaking out and wondering if the team sucks now. And speaking of sucks, it really sucks that Frank Gore is hurt. Not just because he is on my fantasy team either. Ok just kidding. That's pretty much the whole reason.
Here is Lewis's catch. If you haven't seen it, you need to watch it. If you have, are you telling me you don't want to see it again?
WHO SUCKED
1. Ole Miss. I had no idea Ole Miss was ranked #4 in football. I thought the only time they were good was when Eli Manning was slinging the pill all those years back and that they had faded back into mediocrity. Apparently not so, but they may be heading that way after laying an absolute egg and losing 16-10 to the unranked Gamecocks of South Carolina on Thursday. After looking into it, it turns out that this is the highest ranking the Rebels have had since 1970, and also that their QB, Jevan Snead is thought of as one of the best QBs in college football. He certainly didn't play like it, putting up a Jake Delhomme of a day, completing just 7 of 21 passes for the game and leading the Rebs on a drive of more than 49 yards just once. Oh well, another top 5 teams bites it. Maybe this will help get a non-BCS team like Boise into the championship game. Plus, I finally get to post this picture of Ole Miss chicks I've been holding onto.
2. Cal. Yikers, there isn't a font big enough to post this OOF, an embarrassing, emasculating, and disembowling loss 42-3 against the terrible Oregon Ducks. The Bears scored first, going up 3-0, but the the Ducks reeled of 42 unanswered on their way to gaining more than double the yards of Cal. Jahvid Best, who you probably remember shredding the Gophers, gained just 65 yards. What's weird is that Cal didn't really even turn the ball over - just one fumble - they just couldn't do anything. They had the ball 14 times and couldn't muster a single drive over 50 yards; the only reason they even scored was because Oregon fumbled the opening kickoff. Just wow. Just a horrid performance on both sides of the ball.
3. Tampa Bay. Guess how many yards Tampa Bay gained Sunday against the Giants. Nevermind, it's impossible to even guess - it's 86. 86 yards. Eighty-six. And that's the entire game, mind you, not just a half or a quarter or a drive. Byron Leftwich, Tampa's QB and the guy I just picked up to be my backup QB, completed just seven of 16 attemps, for a huge total of 22 yards and a pick before being pulled for Josh Johnson who I have never heard of. Johnson was much more effective, completing four of ten for 36 yards, and also rushing once for a gain of 15. Funny thing about that 15 yard gain is that it made Johnson the leading rusher for the Bucs on the day. That vaunted three-headed monster at RB of Earnest Graham, Cadillac Williams, and Derrick Ward racked up a grand total of 13 yards, with Caddy leading the way with eight. Needless to say, they scored 0 points and are starting to look like they're going to give the Rams, Browns, and Raiders a run for that first overall pick in 2010, or as I like to call it, "The Sam Bradford Sweepstakes."
4. Jamarcus Russell. Remember when the Raiders took Russell first overall in the 2007 draft and everybody was like "Dude, what? This guy isn't a first overall type. There's way better guys like, oh, say Adrian Peterson available. If you really need a QB, trade down and take Brady Quinn at least. Good god, you're not really going to take J-Russ first are you?" Well, it keeps looking more and more like everybody was right. Russell laid his latest bomb on Sunday, completing 12-21 passes for a grand total of 61 yards (and 2 picks). That's five yards per completion. Five. I don't even know how that is possible. I wish I would have watched this game. Was it a series of shovel passes? Failed screen after failed screen? I'm stumped. That gave him a QB rating of 22.6, which will really drag down his season rating of 46.6 coming into the game. The best part? He's making north of $16 million this year. Awesome.
5. Francisco Liriano. Let's just go ahead and shut it down guys, it's over for Franky. In case you missed it, he decided he didn't even want to get out of the second inning against KC on Sunday, mainly because he once again refused to throw strikes and when he did people like frickin' Yuniesky Betancourt hit it eight billion miles. He needs to work his ass off this winter and figure something out, because his career is about thisclose to being over right now. Assuming he doesn't pitch again this season (please god), his final numbers are 5-13 with an ERA of 5.88 and a WHIP of 1.56. I don't have the time or inclination right now to get further into his numbers (Sidler, you still alive?), but things really aren't good. He's like the Jamarcus Russell of pitchers.
So that'll do it. Honorable mention for sucking to Terrell Owens, who didn't have a catch yesterday because he's gay.
I am off to the Detroit City tomorrow, and will be spending two nights in the toilet bowl of america - including one night when I'll be at Comerica Park to no doubt watch the Twins lose. For now I leave you with this awesome picture of Baby Dawger and WonderbabyTM.
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