It's Football Time!

It's that time of the year again.  The time where oversized humanoid types put on ineffective padding and run into each other over and over again at full speed - Yes, football.  Although I generally deal with more elegant sports like baseball and basketball here, I do like to dip my tow into the football waters once in a while because hey, more clicks and also because I really like predicting things since I'm almost always right.  So why not a quick look at the Vikings and the NFL, and then a preview of this weekend's Gopher football game since I'll be in attendance.  I'm not sure who they're playing but I'll look that up later.

So the Vikings.  The state's favorite squadron.  What are the betting expectations for the Vikings this NFL season? (look for the best odds from Sportbet.com).  Sportbet has the over/under for wins at 6.5, and if I'm a betting man, and I am, I'm going for the over (cautiously).  Matt Cassell is boring, and far more boring than my guy Teddy Bridgewater, but he is a competent QB which is a major upgrade from your guy Christian Ponder.  Cordarrelle Patterson is supposed to do that thing everyone says and become good, and don't forget Greg Jennings didn't just forget how to be a major league receiver, it's just Ponder did things like throw the ball into the ground and throw the ball into the ground again.  Cassell tends to do things more like throwing the ball in the air.  That's a plus.  And of course if Bridgewater ever gets to start the Vikings will start putting up 50+ points per game, but that's a given.

A lot of people seem to be excited about an upgraded defense, which makes sense, since the team is going from a defensive minded coach to a defensive minded coach and somehow this new one is better than the old one I guess.  I don't know.  Personally, I'm more excited about the personnel changes.  I mean, these guys have some sweet names:  Captain Munnerlyn is one of the best names in the league, and Linval Joseph isn't that far behind except that he's slower now after getting shot.  Really though those guys are upgrades, Anthony Barr has looked good this preseason, Harrison Smith is healthy, and Sharrif Floyd should be better because he can't be worse.  Plus Xavier Rhodes is awesome.

What's realistic for the Vikings?  If Cassell starts all year they'll be somewhere around 8-8.  If Bridgewater starts they'll win every game he plays, up to 15-2 and a Super Bowl victory.

Other quick NFL hits:

• The Panthers will be terrible
• The Cardinals will be the surprise breakout team, led by Michael Floyd and Andre Ellington
• Dallas will be a complete dumpster fire, but they'll give up so many points that Dez Bryant will have a career year and one of the best receiving years in history
• Atlanta will be a playoff team with a bounce back year from Matt Ryan
• The Eagles will regress badly
• The Packers will be annoyingly good and probably make the Super Bowl
• The Colts will win the Super Bowl
• Cleveland will win 3 games or less
• Derek Carr will win Rookie of the Year
• C.J. Spiller will re-breakout.
• Matthew Stafford will have even more weapons, put up even better stats, and still somehow screw the Lions into a 6-win season
• Ryan Tannehill will become a top 10 type QB

All of this will come true.

Now onto the college game, which is also fun!  And the internet tells me our beloved Gopher footballers are going up against the Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders.  Whoa that sounds scary!  And they're 1-0!  And they won 61-7 last week!  Are the Gophers doomed?  Is their run to the BCS playoffs over before it really even starts?  No.  MTSU beat Savannah State who once had something like a 60-game losing streak in basketball so they're probably terrible in football too.  Let's look at these "Blue" "Raiders" a little more carefully, but keep in mind I'm only looking at stats like some kind of nerd who lives in his mom's basement because I have to admit I have never seen MTSU play football.  Nor have I heard of anyone on their team.  Seriously if you want a "real" "preview" I'd check out Still Got Hope, who are back and cranking out some seriously awesome Gopher football love (they're the kind of nerds who go watch practice, so you know it's detailed info).  

Last season the Blue Raiders went 8-4 including 6-2 in the Sun Belt, probably, and made the Armed Forces Bowl where they lost to Navy 24-6.  They played two real teams and lost to North Carolina by 20 and BYU by 27.  So far the intimidation level is low to quite low.  Which I suppose it should since the Gophers are favored by 16.  

Last year they ranked 83rd in passing offense, 31st in rushing offense, and 62nd in total offense.  That's some good running, boys, but a bad passing attack may be worse as their QB has moved on to do something else.  They do have both of their top RBs and one of their top WRs back, but not having a thrower guy back and replacing him with a guy who completed 45% of his passes last year is not a positive.  This new guy, Austin Grammer (Kelsey's son), did play well against Savannah completing 15 of 17 for 250 yards, but I assume those DBs were basically played by folding chairs so whatevs.  The running backs are worth looking at since the two returnees (Jordan Parker and Reggie Whatley) both had over 650 yards last season and they added a new guy, Tony Rowland, who split carries with those two in their first game.  Rowland and Whatley are both tiny (5-7) so they're both probably really fast, and Parker is built like a real running back so he's probably good and stuff.  I'd keep my eye on those guys.

Defensively they ranked 26th in passing yards allowed and 107th in rushing yards allowed, which is good for Minnesota because they hate passing anyway and would rather have one of their 20 running backs or their QB who is built like a grizzly bear and throws with similar accuracy to run down your face and smash into you over and over again.  Maybe their biggest strength last season was turnover margin, where they finished 12th in the country at a +12.  Their two safeties picked off 8 passes between the two of them last year and they're both back, so probably still not a good idea to throw the ball.  

Basically both teams suck at passing and are good at running.  Whoever stops the other team from running the ball well will win and that should probably be the Gophers.  Plus all this running and stuff probably means the under 52.5 is kind of money.  So let's do this.  Just as the Gopher basketball crushed the hopes and dreams of the Middle Tennessee basketball team in the NIT two years ago, so now will these Gophers crush MTSU's dream of a National Championship. 

Gophers 28, Blue Raiders 10.  

Morneau, Gopher Football, Hoops recruiting, and stuff

Plenty of stuff happening out there.  Crazy world.


1.  Justin Morneau traded to Pittsburgh.  I know trading Justin Morneau makes your heart hurt and I get it.  He's been a Twin forever and for you people with human emotions it makes you sad that he's gone.  Just look around at all the Twins' blogs and newspapers and there are nothing but heartfelt good-byes, and with good reason.  But objectively, trading him was the correct move because he won't be around to be part of the team when they're good again, he's not that good anymore (although a hot August is probably what got him traded), and it made sense to try to get something for him rather than nothing when he walks at the end of the year.

What they got was actually better than I had expected, but isn't a team builder kind of a trade which just tells you how much Morneau has slipped since that damn concussion.  The Pirates sent the Twins back of Alex Presley, a definite major leaguer but more of a depth/4th outfielder type, and rp Duke Welker, who is a fireballer with little idea where it's going after it leaves his hand, making him an intriguing lottery ticket.

Presley is 28 and still doing the bounce around from AAA to the majors thing for the Pirates, but he should slot in nicely for the Twins since he can play all three outfield positions and has a little bit of speed and a little bit of power.  He's not much of a walker (which you know the Twins love) and so far this year he has 19 strikeouts against just one walk which is not real good but he's an ok player even with limited upside.

More upside comes from Welker, who is 6-7 and throws in the mid-90s and strikes out about a batter per inning but also walks more than 4 batters per 9 (that's really shitty for a reliever).  His other numbers look pretty good - 2.29 ERA, 1.24 WHIP - and he already hit the show for a bit with the Pirates (4 batters faced, 4 outs, 1 K) so he could be ready by next year (or even this year).  The Twins pride themselves on getting their pitchers to throw strikes, right or wrong, and if they can help Welker out with his command without hurting his stuff or going with the "pitch to contact" nonsense he could be a nice middle reliever.

Yes, it sucks that the Morneau era ended and how it ended. He went from one of the best hitters in all of baseball to a below average first baseman, hitting .286/.358/.511  prior to that stupid concussion and .256/.317/.412 after, essentially become a league average hitter which becomes well below average when you're playing at a premium offensive position.  It's hard to believe a concussion could have that kind of impact on someone's ability, but it's not like it's unprecedented and the Twins' training staff has proven itself to be pretty much incompetent over the years so, you know.  I was already going to be rooting for the Pirates, but this gives me a little more incentive.

Also, if you have found yourself saying, "Well he's a free agent after the season the Twins' could just resign him" please go ahead and hit yourself in the nuts with a pitch fork.

2.  Gopher football is undefeated.  Even if the win was only over UNLV a win is a win and Gopher football needs to take whatever they can get (especially since I bet on the OVER 5.5 season wins).  It wasn't exactly an impressive win, and Philip Nelson's QB style seems to be making one read and either forcing it to that read whether he's open or not or just pulling the ball down and running.  Luckily, UNLV's quarterback seemed to come from the same QB school.  The Gopher gameplan was also less than imaginative and looked like something out of Tecmo Bowl (not Super Tecmo Bowl, just regular Tecmo Bowl) but the Rebel's offense looked more like they were drawing the plays up in the dirt while in the huddle so the Gophers had the advantage there too.

I'm no football expert, but it looked to me like the Gophers have a really crappy offense, a decent defense, and ended up blowing UNLV out thanks to three big plays (kick return TD, Interception TD, and blocked kick TD) that are non-repeatable in any meaningful way.  That's a clear indicator of an overstated spread (they're favored by 17 pts) in their next game against New Mexico State, so go ahead and join me in betting against the Gophers because there's no way they should be favored by 17 on the road no matter who they're playing.

3.  A whole lot is happening recruiting-wise, and we're still waiting to hear any good news.   Kyle Kuzma committed to Utah.  Wade Baldwin signed up with Vanderbilt.  Quentin Snider dropped the Gophers out of consideration.  J.P. Macura, who was supposed to be a sure thing, keeps doing things like visiting Purdue and Xavier.  Rakeem Buckles didn't get his waiver to play immediately and will remain at FIU.  And Lourawls Nairn visited this past weekend and left without committing to Pitino, even though he's explicitly stated multiple times he was going to take all 3 of his planned official visits (Oklahoma, Indiana) before making a choice we're all panicking anyway.

There remain enough intriguing options and realistic possibilities that there's really no reason to panic, but the raging optimism from a month or so ago has certainly flagged.  Along with Nairn and Macura there's still some optimism around Isaiah Whitehead, even if he hasn't yet set an official visit here, there's a realistic shot at two of the local kids (Travis and Vaughn), and Paul White, Josh Martin, and Marial Shayok are taking officials to the U.  I'm not worried at this point, but I would like it a whole lot if somebody, anybody, would just make a verbal to the Gophers.  Just so I know it's possible.

4.  I discovered Breaking Bad. You know how when everybody is saying something is awesome it almost always sucks like Rudy or Glee or Jennifer Lopez?  Well this is the opposite of that.  Everyone who watches the show says it's pretty much the best show ever, and they're right.  If you're not watching it yet, start.  If you are, you know what I'm talking about.  You just never know what's going to happen next and it's never boring.  It's been like a week since I started watching and I'm on Season 3, Episode 5 already.  Sure, I'm ignoring my family and haven't gone to work in a week, but at least I'm catching up on my pop culture and will be able to act all snooty to people who haven't watched this show yet.  "I mean really, Audrey, you can't talk about great TV if you've never watched Breaking Bad." *rollseyes *sipsbrandy

5.  Josmil Pinto made his major league debut, going 2-4 with a double.   This is significant to me because with Morneau now on the Pirates and Chris Parmelee proving to be terrible the door is wide open for Joe Mauer to move to first base full-time, and after this concussion mess it seems more likely than ever the Twins will go in that direction.  The question then becomes who is the catcher of the future, and it's probably either Josmil Pinto or Chris Herrmann.

They're both considered around the same prospect level (Gleeman has Herrmann at #20 and Pinto at #37, John Sickels has them both in his OTHERS TO CONSIDER which means just outside the top 20).  Herrmann's been up since July, and although he hasn't been great he hasn't been terrible either, showing a pretty good batting eye and some decent pop in his bat while being a halfway decent defensive catcher and outfielder, although Pinto's minor league numbers were much better this year than Herrmann, hitting .309/.400/.482 between New Britain and Rochester.

Neither Herrmann nor Pinto is likely to become a big-time impact player, but both are likely to become useful players and either (or both) has a chance to evolve into a full-time starting catcher and hold down the job for a while.  Pinto probably has the better bat, but Herrmann is much better defensively and offers the additional benefit of being able to play the outfield competently while Pinto is either a catcher or DH.  While the Twins have tons of questions and not many answers with the squad right now, catcher is one where they can probably feel good - Mauer or no Mauer in the mix.  Seems weird.

6.  Johnny Manziel can play some football.  I know everybody likes to jump on Johnny Football and tear him apart for doing things like going to a casino and watching a basketball game because everyone is jealous and people generally suck, but let's not forget that this dude can play some fucking football.  After he served his weirdo 1st half suspension, he came in for the second half and went 6-8 for 94 yards and 3 TDs as the Aggies beat Rice 52-31.  Watching the highlights made it clear Manziel is one of the best Qbs in the country, as if winning the Heisman last year didn't prove that already.  80% of college QBs can make one read and then it's time to run (like P. Nelson), and another 15% can go all the way to a second read and that's it.  There's only like 5% who can play QB like a real, actual QB, and that's why it's so much fun to watch guys like Manziel and Andrew Luck back when he was in college. 

7.  Not how I'd get fired up for the NFL season, but over at the blog Pat is Crazy long-time friend of the blog Joe U. (that's his quote up on the banner) decided to re-watch the 1998 (or 1999 depending on how you want to define it) NFC Championship game, also known as the game that destroyed the ability to actually enjoy sports for many, many Minnesota sports fans.  And he blogged it, live blog style.  Don't make his pain meaningless, go read it.

Joe Coleman to Transfer? (and some other stuff)

 - The big news tonight is that Joe Coleman is considering transferring from the Gopher hoops squad with a meeting planned with Coach Pitino Wednesday to discuss his future, a meeting I'd wager was initiated by Coleman after seeing this giant influx of perimeter players.  This, in my not remotely humble opinion, would be a mistake by both parties.

Although Coleman may have a rough outside shot and is the worst defender on the team (particularly off the ball) and has the game of a 4 in the body of a 2, he's still a valuable player and should fit in with Pitino's system quite well.  Coleman seems to excel when he can get out and run and use his almost unreal ability to score in the paint for a little guy.  In the half court his weaknesses (and we might as well throw sub-par ball handling and decision making in there as well) are magnified, but in a more free flowing game he can excel with his athleticism, which allows him to gamble on defense for steals (which he could do more easily with Pitino than Tubby).  It would be hard for Coleman to find a better system for his skill set, and it would be hard for the Gophers to replace his production for next year at this late date so it really doesn't make any sense for him to leave.  Though if he does it makes a lot more sense to go after Malik Smith (referenced below in a bullet point I wrote before all this Coleman shit broke out)

And now that I glance at Twitter in order to make a comment about Harrison Barnes looking good I see everyone is now suddenly reporting that Coleman has asked for his release.  Unless Pitino was like "Hey Joe why don't you go" with the intention of bringing Smith in this is just a baffling decision by Coleman.  And, frankly, it sucks.  No matter what you think about Coleman (and he clearly had his faults) I really think he would have thrived under Pitino.  I guess we'll see by tomorrow what's true and what isn't.  All of this is a little bit baffling.  I think pretty much every transfer during the Tubby era made some sense (maybe with the exception of Iverson) but this one has me confused.  I'll be interested to see what leaks in the next few days (if it turns out to be true).

- With Wednesday being the last day to sign recruits for the 2013-2014 season and nobody on the Gophers radar it appears the Gophers will be looking at snagging a transfer in order to fill out the roster.  Right now Malik Smith, formerly of FIU, Tarik Black, formerly of Memphis, Rakeem Buckles, formerly of Louisville, and Joey King, formerly of Drake, look to be the candidates.  Black is the definite prize of the group, but he's being chased by teams like Duke and Kansas which makes him a pretty big longshot.  Smith averaged 14 points per game last season at FIU as a junior, but he's yet another guard and after signing Daquean McNeil and Dre Mathieu a big man would seem to be a better option which is why, among other reasons, the most likely new Gopher will be either Buckles, King, or both.

Buckles, who was with Pitino at Louisville before following him to FIU, is looking to transfer from FIU and Minnesota makes the most sense.  He's a power forward who has been injury prone but talented and he's a senior which means he'd not only (most likely) be eligible right way but also would only take up a scholarship for one season, both of which are attractive to a new coach trying to build a program using his players.  King, a 6-9 PF with a nice outside shot, is from Eagan and is looking to transfer closer to home due to some personal issues of some sort, meaning he'd likely get a waiver and be eligible this year just like Buckles, but he still has three years of playing eligibility.  It sounds like his game would fit what Pitino wants, it's just a matter of if he's good enough (7pts & 3rebs in 19 minutes per game for Drake last year with outbursts of 21 pts twice including vs. Xavier).  There are conflicting reports on whether or not he's been contacted by the Gophers or contacted the Gophers with some reports he's been asked to come in as a walk-on.  So who knows, but the team probably needs at least one of those two for next season seeing as a front court of Eliason, Walker, Oto, and Buggsy is what some might call really pretty bad.

-  I'm sure most people who would be interested have already checked out this Hicks catch, but here it is again.


I don't think it beats Revere's from last season, but that's a pretty damn good play.

-  Also, Glen Perkins really likes nerd stats.

- Congrats to stryker, who wins a DVD/Blu-ray copy of the Sandlot by being chosen at random from those who left a comment below the post about The Sandlot.  Just think, it could have been you if you weren't so damn lazy.

-  I think, seeing as how we're a cynical and sarcastic society and bloggers seem to lead the league in both, that I'm supposed to hate the new Vikings Stadium but I actually like it.  Retractable roof wasn't feasible due to budget and keeping in mind they had a limited space to build and couldn't turn it into a giant corporate like campus area, I think the design looks pretty good.  I understand how somebody could hate it with all the glass and what not, but I dig the look. 

-  Andrew Wiggins, the #1 prospect for the 2013 college basketball season, is taking his talents to Kansas for next year, ending speculation that he was heading for Florida State (both his parents were athletes at FSU) and pretty much guaranteeing that the Florida State/Gopher game at the barn is going to be so boring I'm going to want to die. Remember when Georgia Tech came here when they had Bosh?  The Jackets sucked, the Gophers sucked, but it didn't matter because Bosh was fun to watch.   And Wiggins is supposed to be way, way better than Bosh ever was in college. 

- One of the things I said would be good about this Twins' season is that they'd be in a full rebuilding period which would mean we'd get extended looks at some guys and be able to get a handle on who has a future with the team and who doesn't.  Although the jury is still out on pretty much all the young players I've made my decision on one of them:  Chris Parmelee is freaking terrible.  After this year he'll probably spend a year or two bouncing between the bigs and AAA and eventually be waived and end up doing the same thing for another team.  In reality a pretty nice living that I would kill for, but it's over as far as him being the future of anything -other than like, really good softball player. 

-  Lastly, I got my Ontario Fishing License today.  I don't think I've mentioned this before, but a week from Thursday I'd heading off to Canada for a week long fishing trip to Lac Seul which is a 9 hour drive and 3 hour boat ride away with Dawger, Bear, Bogart, Bogart's dad, and a bunch of old people.  We will have no internet access and very little cell service which frankly sounds kind of awesome so you'll have to be in TRE's capable hands for a week so hopefully he can post some stuff that doesn't suck.  Why would you drive that far just to fish, you may ask if you're some kind of gay.  This is why:

This is Bogart from a prior trip, by the way.  Yes, I know it's hard to believe he's a super rich and powerful attorney.

What should the Vikings Do in the NFL Draft?

The NFL draft begins Thursday night with the first round starting at 7pm on ESPN.  If you're an idiot like me, you still tune in to KFAN from time to time and you're hearing the bottom of the barrel when it comes to baseless speculation regarding who the Vikings may take in the first round.  Let's look at what local knobs are saying and maybe a couple of mock drafts and then talk about what the Vikings should do in the first.


Heard on KFAN and on USA Today Mock draft:  The Vikings should trade up for Tavon Austin

What is it with everyone's desire to immediately replace a piece they just lost?  We went through this before when the Vikings traded away Randy Moss to the Raiders and then drafted Troy Williamson because he was fast.  Even the wikipedia language indicates they needed to do this: "The Vikings needed a receiver with deep speed after trading Randy Moss to Oakland, drafting Williamson with the 7th overall pick in the 2005 NFL Draft."  Speaking of which, Troy is a free agent!

So, now since we traded away a shifty slot guy that can return kicks well so now we need to trade up and immediately fill that hole with Tavon Austin.  The USA Today mock has the Vikings jumping all of the way up to 6 noting that "the buzz has been growing for months" and that he's "not as thick as Harvin but offers a similar skill set".  Mel Kiper has Austin going #16 to the Rams and says he's "versatile" and can replace the loss of Danny Amendola.  The thing is, not every small guy that's a great returner turns into MVP-type-when-he-tries Percy Harvin.  Austin could end up being much more Dexter McCluster than Harvin.  In fact, that's what people should probably expect.  Not that McCluster is bad, he's a useful player that can do a lot of things and was taken #36 overall by the Chiefs.  I just don't think you should sell out your draft/future drafts by making a huge leap to get this guy.  The Vikings just have too many holes to fill to give up multiple picks to get Austin.  There are also a number of WR prospects that will be there that could be a fit anyway.  If he falls to the late teens and the price is right; sure, try and move up.  I mean, he did run a 4.34 and played every game at West Virginia despite his size.  Here's Todd McShay fawning over him (has him going #13):

Heard on KFAN, USA Today, Kiper and from everyone you talk to:  The Vikings should draft Manti Te'o

Everyone knows the Vikings need a MLB and despite it not being a super strong class for MLBs, many insist the Vikings will take Te'o in the first round with their #25 pick.  Manti would be most notable for being a Heisman trophy finalist if it wasn't for getting catfished by some dude.  Instead he's known for falling in love with a guy on the interwebs. 

In some ways this is understandable as MLB is a need and the Vikings have had some success with drafting Irish in Harrison Smith and Kyle Rudolph.  However, I'm unconvinced this is the right choice for a couple of reasons that go beyond him getting punked on the internet by some dude.  By most accounts Te'o is a run stopper in the middle and will rack up tackles, but isn't much of a playmaker.  He did make plays at Notre Dame including a whopping 7 INTs, but also has looked poor in big moments including the nationla championship and spraining his knee in the Sun Bowl in 2010.  As mentioned before, the Vikings have a ton of needs and in my opinion MLB is much easier to fill later or outside of the draft.  Players like Rey Malauga (Cincy), Michael Boley (Giants) and Nick Barnett (Bills) are free agency candidates.

Also, there are a bunch of decent, but not elite MLB options and Te'o is just one of them.  Kevin Minter (LSU), Alec Ogletree (GA) and Nico Johnson (Bama) are all possibilities.  Why not wait on MLB and get a lineman or secondary player as that seems to be the deeper?  Then there's the dreaded "Manti is only a two down player" argument.  I don't care about that as much if he's elite for those two downs, but with his speed and other problems, he doesn't seem to project to elite status.  Go to the 2:20 mark on this vid for Manti talk:

So what should they do?

First, I like grabbing a WR at either 23 or 25 assuming you're getting one of the top guys.  Landing Jennings was expensive, but somewhat necessary to stay competitive in the division.  Adding to Jennings with a quality prospect would be great.  Jarius Wright showed some flashes of being useful last year as well and could be a slot-type if necessary so you don't have to pigeon-hole yourself into getting the new slot guy.

Kiper has the Vikings taking Cordarrelle Patterson of Tennessee.  He was another multi-tool type of player as he had 300 yards rushing, nearly 800 receiving and was a return guy.  He has more size than Austin (nearly 6'2"), but is not as fast (4.48 vs 4.34).  However, he's quick and strong and seems to have some big upside. 

Cal Junior Keenan Allen is also 6'2" and runs in the 4.5 range.  He can get up and battle for balls downfield, but doesn't blow you away with raw speed. 

Justin Hunter is another Tennessee WR.  He's big (6'4") and he's a leaper. 

Roberts Woods of USC and Deandre Hopkins of Clemson are also considerations.

There are several options and hopefully the Vikings have a couple of these guys that they like.  I'd go Cordarrelle if I could though.  Check out this kick-ass sports science on all of the cool stuff he can do:

For the other pick I'd like to see them take the best available player...especially if it's a defensive lineman or someone in the secondary.  Generally, I have some faith in the current regime based on some of their recent selections.  Maybe they think taking a MLB in the first is a bad idea too.  Some players I'm interested in that may be there in the mid-20s are:

Sylvester Williams, DT UNC - Sly is going to be 25 during the season, which kind of sucks but he looks like a beast inside and has shown good ability to get into the backfield.  He's a guy that I've seen kind of all over from the teens to the end of the first round in mocks and I think that's at least partially due to the depth at the position.  Plus he has big thighs:

Geno Smith, QB WVU - JUST HEAR ME OUT!  It's a LOT cheaper these days to sign a QB in the first round thanks to the new salary slotting, so it's less of a blown gambit than say drafting Christian Ponder looks like it may have been.  The Vikings have Cassell in the fold now, so I doubt they go here, but if Geno is available at 23, they have to take a hard look at him.  Something called Anthony Sulla-Heffinger at the NYPost has the Vikings taking him at 23 and here's what he says in his blog-thing:

Smith has the tools to be successful in the NFL, but I think everyone is getting a little ahead of themselves on the West Virginia signal caller because of the success of Robert Griffin III and Cam Newton over the past two seasons. Smith has a tendency to shy away from the pocket when faced with pressure and while it is not as big of a deal as it once was, he played almost exclusively out of the shotgun while with the Mountaineers. Minnesota, which drafted Christian Ponder in the first round two years ago, certainly do not seem married to the idea of Ponder as their franchise QB, so if Smith is here, Minnesota will give him a long look. -Anthony Sulla-Heffinger

Bjoern Werner, DE FSU - 6'3", 266lb speed/power rusher that runs a 40 at the same speed as Manti Te'o.  A boatload of defensive lineman are free agents at the end of the year and could be out the door.

 Desmond Trufant, DB Washington - Trufant has two brothers in the NFL and he'll be the third.  At just hair under 6', he's got good size and great speed with a 4.38 40 time.  He'd be a great fit in the secondary.

Good luck to our Vikings tomorrow!

Guest Post: Vikings NFL Draft Preview

Thanks to a pretty successful season in 2012, the Vikings will have to wait until the #23 pick in the draft to take someone. To get over the hump in the their tough division, building through the draft is essential. So who are the three most likely candidates for them to take in the first round?

Alex Ogletree

The inside linebacker from Georgia was spectacular in college, and if he is still around, this should be their pick. The Vikings could use his presence at the linebacker position, and since he is coming out of the SEC, he should be ready to handle the speed of the NFL right away. Their might be a chance that the Vikings take Manti Te’o as well at this spot, but if both are available they will lean towards Ogletree.

Sylvester Williams

 If the team isn’t able to land the linebacker they are looking for, Sylvester Williams is a defensive tackle that could help Minnesota’s shaky defensive line right away. He would fit in great with the 4-3 formation the team uses. Some have him linked to Dallas at #18 overall, but if he slips the former Tar Heel will be strongly considered.

Cordarrelle Patterson

 Finally, everyone knows that the running game is in good shape, but the Vikings could use help at wide receiver. With no Percy Harvin in town, the Vikings really lack a true playmaker at wide receiver. He is much better after the catch right now, but if he can figure out how to improve his route running, he should be a solid pro and one to watch for your fantasy football leagues.

Monday Musings

-  Do you realize that we've officially hit the month (October) which is the same month the NBA starts (October)?  I didn't either, but a co-worker mentioned to me the NBA actually starts at the end of this month (October) and sure enough, he's right.  Crazy.  I know I don't write a ton of NBA stuff because I only casually follow it during the season because college hoops is so much better, but every season I get excited for the start of the season before watching one game and remembering everything that bores me about it until the playoffs.  I actually started this post as an early NBA preview but then I got bored.  I'm sure TRE or I will have something up as we get closer to the season.  Two predictions:  T-Wolves make the playoffs as a 7 seed and the Sixers take the 2 seed in the East.  Also hopefully everyone on the Lakers dies.

-  Ok a little bit more on the Wolves, who I am optimistic about despite not knowing exactly when Rubio will be back.  Kevin Love is an absolute superstar, even if it's sometimes hard to think of him as such when you keep remembering the chubby unathletic kid from UCLA who you were convinced would be an NBA bust, but finishing 4th in the league in scoring and 2nd in rebounding while knocking down a ton of 3s (led the team and 21st in the league) is pretty clearly superstar type numbers (not to mention finishing 6th in MVP voting on a non-playoff team).  Not to mention how many amazing nights did he have when your jaw would just drop?  The double-double streak.  The 20-rebound games.  The 40 (and 50) point nights.  The four game stretch where he averaged 37 & 16.  The buzzer beater against LAC?  Obviously I love this guy, and having him guarantees the Wolves will at least be competitive for a spot in the playoffs this year.

And the complementary pieces just work.  Pekovic will be back and oh my he is just a beast and you know he's killed at least three people with his bare hands back in Mother Russia.  We might as well call him Zangeif.  He's the perfect guy to put down next to Love because if anybody starts shit with Love Zangeif will just rip their head off and make them eat it somehow.

In mother Russia, ball rebounds you!

Then Ridnour/Barea are just fine to fill in until Rubio comes back, and that's not even taking into account Alexey Shved who has a chance to be a little bit of a Rubio Lite.  Adding Andre Kirilenko gives you a defensive stopper (and a few too many commies, if you ask me) even if he's a bit long in the tooth.  The biggest weakness last year was on the wing, but with Roy (if his knees hold up), Derrick Williams (who apparently lost weight to play more on the wing), Chase Budinger, and Kirilenko two of them should work out well enough.  Back up big men are a little shaky with Lou Amundsen and Greg Stiemsma, but if everything goes according to plan you just need them to get in the way on defense and please god don't shoot on offense and shouldn't that be enough to get into the playoffs?  I say yes.  Plus, and I know everybody has made these jokes already a million times, but have you ever seen so many white guys on one team?  Crazy.  Not Camila and her sweet rack from Road Rules/Real World Challenge crazy, but crazy.

A little crazy can be a good thing.

Seriously I hate being so optimistic.  Between the Wolves and the Gophers my basketball boner for this season is off the charts.  If I had to rank my confidence that they'd each have a good season (playoffs for the Wolves, top-4 conference finish and NCAA win for the Gophers) on a scale of 1-10 I'd be at a combined 18, much higher than the old record of 6.

- I suppose I should say something about the Gopher footballers poor performance against Iowa on Saturday.  Unfortunately by the time I realized the game was on and turned it to ESPN2 it was already 17-0 and then Shortell kept throwing interceptions so eventually Wonderbaby and I played Super Mario Brothers on the Wii instead.  We won!

-  If Tony Romo doesn't start throwing the ball to Dez Bryant I swear to god I'm going to kill someone.  With a pitchfork or something else really stabby.  God Romo just sucks.

-  Pretty epic choke job at the Ryder Cup, which is much less sexy than it sounds.  Sadly I missed most of it watching football because like most of the free world I assumed there was no possible way the U.S. could lose and also because I was at my parents' house with Bear and they have Red Zone Channel and I was like whoa.  As such, I missed seeing Furyk and Mickelson pee down their legs, but thanks to a well-timed text from Snacks I was able to flip over in time to see Stricker wrap his putter around his neck.   I know people who don't watch golf don't quite get it (like Bear was talking about how the Ryder Cup is stupid on Sunday before I distracted him by talking about men in bike shorts), but this is devastating.  It seems hard to believe when you're talking about something that only happens every two years between groups of people who never play as a team, but if you watch it and watch it every two years you know what I'm talking about.  Europe has been destroying the U.S. almost every time out, and for the Americans to jump out to what would usually be an insurmountable lead, on their home soil, only to give it away by letting Europe win nearly every match when it came down to man vs. man?  Luckily everyone can go back to being an individual instead of a team for the next 2 years and try to forget (yeah I know they have the President's Cup or whatever but let's not pretend anybody gives a crap), and hopefully in two years everyone will be done thinking/talking/obsessing over this.  Ha ha just kidding.  In two years just wait to see how much this is talked about.  Prepare to throw up all over yourself like Stricker on 17. 

-  As for my thoughts on the upcoming presidential election, I'm just kidding.  God bless you whackos.

-  And I forgot to mention the Vikings.  They still suck, but now they're winning while they suck which is pretty much better than losing while sucking and actually worked for that Trent Dilfer team who sucked all year long until they won the Super Bowl.  So am I saying the Vikings are going to win the Super Bowl?  Yes, yes I am.

-  Seriously Tony Romo is absolutely fucking terrible.   You know how bad Fat Stafford looked this Sunday against the Vikings?  That's like Tony Romo 14 games a year.  Being a Dez fan is hard enough watching this, I can't believe there are Cowboy fans who haven't killed themselves yet.  God this must be brutal for 16 weeks a year.

-  Pretty fired up for the baseball playoffs.  Do you realize the Orioles are going to be in the playoffs despite not having won 70+ games since 2006, 80+ games since 1997, and their preseason OVER/UNDER on season wins was 69.5?  That shit is nuts.  And there's a good chance the A's are there as well, and they've won 80+ just once since 2007.  Not to mention that the probably best team (Nationals) shut down their best pitcher for the playoffs for some misguided, though well intentioned, reasons and the two best starting staffs amongst the contenders (Angels and Rays) likely won't make the playoffs.  Crazy.  I'm guessing TRE and I will have some sort of preview up, so until then........

Why the Gophers Will Win More Games than the Vikings

  VS.

In 2012, the Minnesota Golden Gopher football team will win more games than the Minnesota Vikings


There, I said it.  Neither of these teams are going to set the world on fire, of course.  This is more like a race between me and a one-legged dog dragging his ass across the ground. (the dog wins by a stump)  This is a matter of looking at two teams and their opponents and their potential to exceed expectations.  Point blank, there is very little chance the Vikings exceed expectations, but there is a chance that the Gophers will. Here are the top 5 reasons the Gophers will win more games than the Vikings this year.

I own TRE

The Schedule 

The Vikings start with a couple of winnable games early, but unfortunately, these are games where Adrian Peterson may not play or at least will have a reduced role.  Luckily, MJD might be holding out as well, so we might see a 6-3 shootout on Sept 9 vs Jacksonville.  The biggest problem with the Vikings' schedule is that the other teams in their division are much better than they are.  They could easily go 0-6 against Detroit, Green Bay and Chicago.  Winnable games include JAC, @IND, @WAS, ARI, @SEA, @STL. Only two of those games are home games though.  On the plus side, two of their three wins last season came on the road.

2012 Golden Gopher Schedule

Date Opponent Aug. 30 at UNLV 10:00pm Sep. 8 New Hampshire 11:00am Sep. 15 Western Michigan 11:00am Sep. 22 Syracuse 7:00pm Sep. 29 at Iowa 11:00am Oct. 13 Northwestern 11:00am Oct. 20 at Wisconsin TBA Oct. 27 Purdue TBA Nov. 3 Michigan TBA Nov. 10 at Illinois TBA Nov. 17 at Nebraska TBA Nov. 24 Michigan State TBA

The Gophers start with four games that they are likely to be the favorite in, with the possible exception of a solid Western Michigan team.  Then they go to Iowa to try to hold the Floyd of Rosedale trophy for a 3rd consecutive year.  Games at Wisconsin, at home versus Michigan (58-0) and at Nebraska are all virtual locks to be losses.  They've played Michigan State well and games like Northwester, Purdue and Illinois are winnable. 


Quarterback

Christian Ponder was a first round pick by the Vikings one year ago and was thrown into the fire in 2011.  He showed flashes and ended up with 13 touchdowns and 13 interceptions, completing 158 of 291 pass attempts.  At times, he showed poor accuracy, but does appear to have an NFL caliber arm.  He has a tendency to roll out to his right side when the pocket breaks down and I wonder if/when defenses will start scheming for this.  I thought he was a reach at the time (Ryan Mallet lover alert) and although he hasn't been a total poopstain, I'm not sure there's a lot of upside there.

MarQueis Gray finally got his first full year at QB for the Gophers last year.  He only passed at a 50.7% clip and threw 8 TDs against 8 INTs, but whoa nelly can he run!  Gray ran for 966 yards and 6 TDs and had 3 games where he ran for 160+.  Not bad for your first year under center.  Think about this: he had 23 pass attempts total in the two years prior.  He's entering his senior year at the same position with the same coaches, which hasn't happened the Carter administration.  (FACT)  The Gophers' success this year will be directly attributed to how big of a leap that Quis can make in 2012.  I think it will be significant.

 

 

Young Players with Tremendous Upside

Anyone know who the Vikings drafted?  A tackle and a white defensive back from Notre Dame, right?  Anyone else?  Me either.  Actually, superfast corner Josh Robinson looks intriguing and Greg Childs out of Hawaii had some potential (RIP, Greg),  but I won't let that get in the way of a good story.  How about second year guys?  Something called Mistral is starting in the secondary I think.  One second year guy I do like is Kyle Rudolph.  That dude is a stud. Let's hope while Ponder (also a 2nd year guy) is running for his life he lobs it to Kyle from time to time. 

Virtually the entire Gopher team is young.  Many played as freshmen and more freshmen and sophomores (duh) will get time this year.  Gray and linebackers Keanon Cooper and Mike Rallis are some of the elder statesmen and hopefully they can provide leadership.  Many Gopher recruits were not super-highly rated by various publications, but we've seen Kill find diamonds in the rough at both Northern Illinois and Southern Illinois.  He poops on your publications.  Skill positions players like Harbison, McDonald, Maye and Nelson are all exciting.  There are some massive o-lineman that are underclassmen and well get opportunity.  The DEs other than Wilhite are young.  Even some of the old guys are new guys since they're Juco transfers.  This is the gift and the curse of the Brewster regime.  The slate has been virtually wiped clean there's plenty of opportunity for players to surge up the ranks like DWG climbing the Class E softball batting leaders.

Depth

I think the Vikings suffer greatly from a lack of depth.  If you look at the chart, we're an ACL away from Larry Dean and Tyrone McKenzie.  Former Minnesota Timberwolve Chris Carr is also on the two-deep.  God forbid we get into Quentin Saulsberry territory. 

On the flip side, the Gophers, while young seem to have depth at QB, offensive line and even at wide receiver (WHAT?).  My friend and honored scrub @FrothyGopher thinks the secondary is as deep as it's been since the Wacker era.  There are competitions and possible rotations all over the place, and this time I think it may not necessarily be because everyone sucks!

The Head Coaches

Leslie Frazier is just kind of a drip.  He knows football, but he kind of mopes around and bores the pants off of everyone.  My guess is there's a constant loop of the superbowl shuffle running through his head and it's driving him crazy. 

Jerry Kill gets so damned fired up that he seizes on the sidelines (please don't do that this year).  He's passionate and has a little twang in his voice that we all enjoy.  Also, he looks like a Gopher, how awesome is that?  I think that if you spend time around Kill you can see that players respect him and are buying what he is selling.  Of course, that's much easier to have happen in the college game.

Anything Can Happen in College Football

With a few big players stepping forward, teams can make titanic leaps in college football.  I'm not projecting tintanic, but I am expecting improvement.  Also, in college, big players can carry a whole team.  See Denard Robinson or Robert Griffin III or maybe a Montee Ball/Russell Wilson combo.  In the NFL, you need a great all around team to be succussful.  Adrian Peterson and Jared Allen are possibly the best players at their respective positions, and the team stunk like my dog's breath last year.  The point is, a leap by a few players can make a significant impact this year.

Prediction

Both of these teams are not going to be great.  In fact, they are probably both 4-6 win teams.  However, the beauty of a 6 win Gopher football team is they're back in a bowl!  "Postseason!" If you put a gun to my head (you wouldn't be the first, you jerk).  My months of calculations say the Gophers win 5 games this year and the Vikings win just 4.  So, watch the Vikings, hope for them to improve or for Joe Webb to take over or for the Metrodome to cave in again.  But also, watch the Gophers...who knows, they just might play an extra game at the ALAMO BOWL or something.

BOWLING

Tuesday Talkings

I know you're wondering if this blog is dead.  It's not, I promise.  I've just been really busy.  What with work, heading to the cabin, kids' stuff, and my wife currently reading 50 Shades of Grey, I just am having trouble finding time to blog anything.  And there isn't exactly any motivation either.  Look at the Twins.  They're terrible, and the Gophers don't play for like, 100 years.  I don't know.  But I haven't been following any sports too closely the last few days/weeks, so let me look around and see if I see anything interesting. And I better hurry too, because it looks like Mrs. W is cracking the book open again.

- Because right now I can't possibly summon the will to blog about the Twins but I know I should at least try to start with something local I suppose we could discuss the Vikings' NFL draft.  Obviously everyone knew Kalil was the guy the whole time and the Vikings did quite well to get three extra picks to move down a spot and still get their guy, especially because it turns out nobody else was remotely interested in moving down to that spot so suck it Cleveland.  That safety they moved up to get at the end of the second round sounds pretty cool too since I heard somebody say there were really only two good safeties and they moved up to get one of them.

As far as the draft after that I am willing to admit I don't have a clue and if you know a whole lot about the rest of who they picked you should be embarrassed.  Seriously, anybody who watched more than the first round of that garbage should be forced to take a class on not being a moron.  I bet you're the kind of guy who watched the 3-hour show on ESPN the day the NFL schedule was released.  Seriously you people and your football.  As Jessie Spano once said, "who wants to watch a bunch of barbarians kicking each other's butts"?  Ok I'm not quite there because I enjoy watching football, but the obsession in this country makes me realize why Nickelback and Olive Garden are so popular.  Oh, and blood sausage.  People like blood sausage.

Seriously, people are morons.  Why do you think they end up making money at the end of Field of Dreams?  Because people get in their cars and drive to Iowa without knowing why to pay money to stare at a ball field full of players they can't see?  Everyone always says the ending of that movie (wanna have a catch?) is so great but it just pisses me off.

-  NBA Playoffs are up and running and since that's the best time to watch the NBA I might as well comment, even though we're only a couple games into round 1.  And obviously it's super lame with the Dwight Howard fake back injury and the Derrick Rose ACL because the Heat are going to just waltz into the Finals.  You can try to talk yourself into the Celtics, especially if you're Bill Simmons, but it's looking like they're going to struggle to even get past the Hawks and I just don't see them mounting any serious challenge to the Heat, nor anyone else in the East.  Which I guess is good in a way, because what's better than rooting against a villain?  There's something very satisfying about watching LeBron make it to the finals again and lose.

Who will he be playing is the question?  Going into the playoffs I'd have said Oklahoma City and I don't see any reason to change that prediction.  I'm not ready to say they're ready to be the champs quite yet but going against the defending champs and winning a couple of close games is the way to get there, even if the defending champs don't have Tyson Chandler anymore who is a complete stud pimp.  But really I can see any team other than the Jazz ending up coming out of the West.

The Nuggets would probably be the least likely and it'll be tough for them to get past the Lakers, but Ty Lawson is all crazy good now all of a sudden and this late season emergence of Kenneth Faried make them interesting (and am I the only one who finds "Manimal" a little bit racist?  Anyone?  No?  Let me guess you think the gorillas in the barnyard weren't racist either.)   Every other team at least has a shot, and the Spurs have the #1 seed, a collection of second round picks, and are supposedly the favorite but that just seems weird because Tim Duncan is a hundred years old and kind of a poofer.  I almost feel like I'm going to have to root for the Lakers because I don't know who else can beat the Heat.  But what if the Heat played the Lakers?  Who would I root for?  It would be like choosing between my two kids.  Actually, do you have two kids under the age of 4?  Because I'm totally lying, it would be almost exactly like picking between my two kids.

-  I just did 36 push-ups.  Suck it.

-  Who grounds out to second base more than Mauer?  Nobody, that's who.  Is there a way to look this up?  I'd do it but I'm running out of time.

-  Seriously question though, do you think when Marky Mark goes home for like, Thanksgiving dinner he just teases the shit out of Donnie?  I mean really?  Rizzoli and Isles? Blue Bloods?  Zookeeper for fucks sake?  Those are the last three things on his imdb list.  When Marky makes a bad flick it's something like  Contrabrand (made $66 million) or Date Night ($98m) which at least makes money, and he's getting nominated for awards along the way.  Donnie was just in a TV movie with Brian Dennehy who I'm pretty sure is dead.  Really, I bet when they get together for Christmas everybody gets drunk and Mark starts wadding up and throwing hundred dollar bills at Donnie's head and at first Donnie wants to fight but then he realizes if he keeps sitting there and taking it eventually he's going to get his rent paid so he just takes it and then he ends up making Marky Mark a sandwich.

-  Gotta go

Monday Musings (World Series, Vikings, Billy Beane, Racism in football, etc.)

I'm watching the World Series right now (currently 2-0 St. Louis in the 3rd) and watching the Rangers work on imploding, which is exactly what Detroit did to hand the Cards their last World Championship, when they were once again a substantial underdog.  So far C.J. Wilson has walked Lance Berkman after being ahead 0-2, and Berkman then advanced to third on David or Daniel Murphy's error on a single to left (which scored Holliday), and then scored when Keith Moreland's kid booted a ground ball.  C.J. Wilson also threw a Furcal bunt away, but was able to pitch out of it.  And now Moreland just hit a Thome-sized home run.  Looks like a ball game.  I'm not going to live blog it like, but I'll just do that thing where I type whatever comes into my head about whatever.  I guess that's what I usually do.  Whatever.  Shut your big fat face.

-  So I suppose, for the first time in two years, there's something worthwhile to talk about with the Vikings.  Of course, this is only because they have clearly jumped into rebuilding mold and Ponder gave everyone hope, but despite being impressed with Ponder I'm not exactly looking forward to the next couple of years. 

Here's your problem - too old and/or too bad.  What do you have?  Well you have a good start because you have one bona fide superstar on each side of the ball (AP and Jared Allen), both of whom will probably be able to give you 3-5 more years at a high level.  That's an excellent start, and far better than a lot of teams can build around.  But from there it's tough.

Ponder looked very good for it being his first start.  He made his mistakes, misjudged just how fast even an old cornerback is in the NFL, and made some interesting decisions, but he also made a lot of good throws, showed a lot of poise for a rookie, and never seemed rattled.  I don't know what exactly his upside is, but, at the very least, he looks like a young QB the team can build around.  It's been a long time since this team has had that (Culpepper), and I'd say Ponder's downside is as a middle of the pack type starter.  That's very, very good.

But what else do you have?  Nothing.  On offense the only other person who has big-time potential is Percy Harvin, but it's hard for me to see him as anything more than a kick returner slot receiver type.  I think his absolute upside is the kind of guy who can have a 5 catch-180 yd-2 td day and then follow it up the next week with 1 catch for 8 yards.  Who else is there?  Kyle Rudolph I guess, but I'm pretty sure everybody loves him because he's white and he's best friends with Ponder who, it turns out, is also white and everybody loves.  We'll see. 

The real problem here is that there is absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing, on that offensive line.  There is not one single player who starts on that line who would start for any other team in the league with the possible exception of Steve Hutchinson, but that doesn't matter because he's too old to matter when this team is 2-3 years away at a minimum.  Loadholt I suppose has some potential and I wouldn't exactly give up on him, but he's not nearly as good as I had hoped and the rest of these guys are fuckin' clown shoes.

And the defense?  Who, outside of Allen is remotely interesting?  Greenway is alright and Robison is fine as long as you're ok with a mediocre DE2, but that's it.  E.J. Henderson?  Please.  Guy is so overrated and still can't move around correctly.  Maybe after another year of healing he'll be ok but I'm not betting on it.  Kevin Williams is done, I have no idea who the other DT or LB is, and the only half-way decent defensive backs are a guy who has had 2 knee surgeries and a guy who is currently in jail.  Antoine Winfield is one of my favorite players ever but he's pretty much done unless he can move to safety which they should definitely try because Hussain Abdullah's one skill seems to be allowing the big play and also because he's probably a terrorist.

The good news is there are some legitimately nice players here - AP, Allen, Harvin, Ponder, and Greenway are all quality players.  The bad news is this isn't baseball or basketball and you can't just trade veterans from prospects and/or picks.  It's unfortunate, because guys like Winfield and Hutchinson would be perfect trade bait in other sports, but not the NFL so their kind of stuck.  So I guess my point is that the Vikings will be bad for a while but should at least be fun to watch.  So I guess that's something.  The Gophers are going to be terrible and no fun to watch, so I guess point NFL.

-  You know what I'd rather watch than that Captain America movie that's coming out on DVD tomorrow?  Anything.

-  You know what I do like though?  Walking Dead.  Very good show so far.  Not exactly the most realistic, but if you're looking for realism in a show about zombies I contend you're kind of lost already. 

-  Last time Pujols came up there as a runner on third with 1 out and they walked him.  Holliday grounded into a double play.  Now there are runners on 2nd and 3rd with 2 outs.  They're walking him again.  The intrigue is so thick you could cut it with a spoon.

-  Ground out to short.  Holliday is terrible.  Billy Beane was right again.

-  Know who the A's got for Holliday?  Shane Peterson, Clay Mortensen, and Brett Wallace.  Mortensen was then traded to the Rockies for Ethan Hollingsworth, Wallace was shipped to the Jays for Michael Taylor, and Peterson is still in the minors (along with Hollingsworth and Taylor).  And Beane originally had to give up Carlos Gonzalez, Huston Street, and Greg Smith to get Holliday.  So essentially he flipped a superstar outfielder (down year notwithstanding), a still capable closer, and a young starter who is already in the majors for three minor leaguers, only one of which (Taylor) is considered a top 20 prospect in their system.  I guess Joe Morgan was right, moneyball schmoneyball.

-  So not only am I playing in the fantasy Big 10 hoops league with my friends (Snacks, Dawger, Snake, Bogart, Optimator, Elk, and Grandslam), but I'm playing in a bigger college hoops league as well, similar to the won I played in - and won - 2 years ago.  We've got 13 teams and we're using the Big Six leagues plus the meaningful outliers (UNLV, BYU, New Mexico, Memphis, Gonzaga, etc.).  It's a lot harder, and I wish I could talk about it more in depth but unfortunately TRE from Still got Hope? (which if you don't read you should) is also in the league, so I can't divulge my secrets.  We fire up the draft tomorrow and it's slowish style so I might get like 2 picks per day.  I pick 9th, and I'll give you a hint (and also TRE picks after me) - if he's there I'm going to go with a guy whose name rhymes with Shumbakwe and probably has a huge crank.

-  That "huge crank" talk is probably inappropriate but I'm going to leave it in there because it's just going to help the google search results.  Also megan fox lesbian kiss midget vagina fart ass sex nick punto.

-  Speaking of Nick Punto vagina farts, he just struck out with runners on 2nd and 3rd and 2 outs.  Big spot there.  Punto's definitely the guy I'd want up in that situation.

-  Adrian Beltre just hit a home run on a lollipop curve ball from his knees.  No lie.  That was pretty weird and impressive.  Now 2-2.  This has been a great series.

Big fuckin' deal, Beltre.  I could've done that do if that dickhead Veeck would've let me swing.

-  So this morning before work one of our Direct TV remotes stopped working.  It had been going and even when we switched batteries it didn't get any better and today it was just done.  So I looked it up on their website and I can get a replacement remote for $15.  I figured cool, that's a reasonable price and I'll swing by the nearest retailer to my house and see how much more it is, thinking I'd be willing to pay $5-$10 to have it tonight rather than waiting for it to ship.  So I get home from work, grab my damn wiener kids so Mrs. W can do her Tae Bo or yoga or whatever it is tonight, and run up to said retailer.  Almost immediately find the remote.  It's priced at $44.99.  Forty.  Five.  Fucking.  Dollars.  Naturally I walked out without it and am now watching the game with no ability to flip channels on the commercials or mute Tim McCarver, but I'm sure as shit not paying 200% more than I have to.  I'll wait a couple days, thanks.

-  Top 7, tie game.  Allen Craig or someone with a name like that, walks with one out and then tries to steal second and is out by two billion feet.  And now they're walking Pujols.  And guess what they would have done if that steal would have been successful?  Yep.  Walked him.  Since he's nearly as likely to hit an XBH as get a single, maybe you just stay put on first, ok?  I get the stolen base and it certainly has it's place, but these two managers both seem to be way to obsessed with it and have both screwed their teams over in this series.  Also let's see if Holliday can go 0-3 after getting slapped in the mouth.

-  Hey a base hit!  Way to go little buddy!  And thanks to a whole bunch of thrown the ball around-itis, we're at 2nd and 3rd with 2 outs.  20 bucks says Berkman strikes out for the 3rd time tonight.

-  I missed what happened with Berkman but the bases were loaded when David Freese struck out so I assume they walked him.

Let me guess, you were expecting a picture of Arnold as Mr. Freeze?  You probably don't even know who this is, do you you unoriginal bastard? 

-  By the way you should probably ignore everything I wrote about the Vikings above.  I made most of that up. 

-  Bottom 7, 1 out, Kinsler on first.  20 bucks says they send him here. 

-  Nope, but Elvis Andrus struck out on 3 pitches.  God they'd be so much better if they hit Napoli or Cruz or even Beltre second.  But of course, Ron Washington can't do that.  You gotta have a guy there who can handle the bat, right Gardy and every other manager in the stupid world.  And Dawger.

-  Ever want to combine racism with football?  Go nuts. 

-  After a leadoff hit by Yadier Molina I'm pretty sure the Cardinals just pinch hit for Skip Schumaker with Ryan Theriot just so he could sac bunt.  You're telling me a dude named Skip can't bunt?  You might as well tell me that sliding into first doesn't get you there faster.  I can't believe it.  I won't.

-  Punto blows it again, striking out in a still tied game with a runner on 2nd and 1 out.  Takes a special kind of guy to constantly disappoint two franchises.

-  In one fantasy league I'm in today I was offered Cam Newton and James Starks in exchange for Hakeem Nicks and LaSean McCoy.  So that was pretty fun.

-  Bases loaded.  One out.  Bottom of the 8th.  2-2 game.  Mike Napoli up.  A hit, and particularly an extra-base hit, would help my bank account tremendously.  Na-Po-Li.  Na-Po-Li.  Na-Po-Li.

-  Double, scores 2.  Damn dude, shit never works out like this for me.

-  That message board I posted earlier really thinks Peyton Hillis is being held down because he's white.  Why can't they just accept that he's terrible at football?  Probably a good blocker though.

-  I couldn't tell you one thing about Lance Lynn.  Well, other than he's a pitcher for St. Louis who is about to come into a high leverage situation in the World Series.

-  Your name is Lance Lynn and you're gonna roll out the perm?  Interesting choice.  Also he just intentionally walked Ian Kinsler and then got yanked.  Looks like LaRussa  has his overmanaging pants on again.

Oh hello.  I pitch for the Cardinals.

-  Feliz now in for the ninth and he gets 2 strikes on Craig and then plunks him right in the back shoulder on a pitch that was so zeroed in on him that there was no way Craig could've gotten out of the way even if his life was on the line.  Pujols up.  Tying run, can't walk him.  Nice.

-  Jesus Pujols has a great eye.  Now at 3-2.  Laid off three close ones but were clearly balls.  He's really good at hitting stuff. Not unlike Chris Cook, I suppose.

-  Strike 'em out throw 'em out.  Pujols whiffs on a pitch that was ball four and Craig is tossed easily and I have no clue why they sent him.  I know Albert doesn't strike out a ton, but you just took a runner out who, really, didn't matter.  If he gets to second and scores on a single who fucking cares, you're still down by a run.  Stupid play.  Tony LaRussa outsmarted himself here tonight.  I hope Holliday hits a home run here.

-  Holliday walks.  Will probably get thrown out stealing.  Stay tuned.

-  Berkman whiffs.  Texas wins.  Pretty sure we're going 7 folks.  Adios and good night.

Monday's Musings - 10/11/2011

Don't read this.  No, seriously, I mean it.  I don't know when it happened but somehow I've become painfully unfunny lately. This blog is brutal.  For inspiration I read through some of my posts from a year or two ago and they were pretty good, but not only that they inspired some pretty awesome comments that led to awesome conversations in the comment section.  Now?  Nothing.  I've got nothing.  This is going to be terrible.

-  First off the big news is that the Lynx won the WNBA championship.  Here are my thoughts on that:

-  Next up I suppose we need to discuss the Vikings, despite the fact that Don McNabb has somehow managed to combine a noodle arm with the inability to throw the ball anywhere near where he's trying to.  I mean seriously, have you ever seen a worse QB than McNabb?  Have you ever, for kicks, decided to try to throw a curve ball when you play catch with a football?  And it doesn't actually curve or anything, it just goes through the air with a complete wobble, about as far from a spiral as possible?  That's what McNabb's ball is looking like these days.  The Vikings have no chance to win more than 4 games this year unless Christian Ponder is the next Andy Dalton.  Poor AP.  He's wasted like Rico Tucker was wasted that one year.

See these blast points?  Too precise for Donovan McNabb.

-  Speaking of the Gophers, once again the football team got waxed in embarrassing fashion.  Here are my thoughts on that:

-  Also in the shitty football team department, how about that "Dream Team."  In case you missed it that's how the Eagles were being described this off season after signing Asomugha, Steve Smith (the bad one), and Vince Young.  Now they're 1-4 after getting beat by the Bills, and wait what?  Somehow signing Vince Young is supposed to be a good thing?  Sometimes a guy who was great in college and sucks in the pros just sucks.  He doesn't always need a change of scenery or a new scheme or whatever - Vince Young just sucks.  And so do the Eagles apparently.  Who knew that just assembling a bunch of talent with no real regard for how it fits together wouldn't work out   Too much crazy.

-  Speaking of crazy, are you watching this Terra Nova show?  Fuckin' dinosaurs, man.  I don't really know what the plot is yet, but next on House:  some crazy disease nobody can figure out, a crazy doctor who plays by his own rules, and a plot twist.  Sounds spicy!

-  You know what's sweet?  Winning an over 9 runs bet in a game that was tied 3-3 in extra innings when the home team hits a walk-off grand slam.  That, my friends, is luck.

It's like the luck of the Irish only I'm not Irish so you figure it out

-  Anybody still in a survivor pool for the NFL?  If you are it means you're either incredibly smart, and knew not to trust Eli Manning even in a home game against a horrid defense (unlikely, but possible) and also knew that Tavaris Jackson and Charlie Whitehurst would combine to play an efficient, solid game with few mistakes (impossible), or you're stupid.  So yes, I'm telling you if you're still alive you're stupid, because the Giants were the obvious play and not taking them meant you trying to be cute which usually doesn't work out.  So if you're still alive congratulations on being dumb and lucky.  You suck.

-  So what exactly is the deal here with the MLB playoffs, we're going to go from an awesome Divisional round to a shitty Championship round?  Actually I guess we shouldn't really worry yet since it really doesn't matter if the early games are blowouts or are close, just as long as we get to games 6 and especially 7 and they're close it'll be entertaining.  How awesome was last round?  Three Game 5s that all ended as one run affairs including one that went to extra innings?  AND the Yankees lost?  It was a little slice o' heaven.  I shed a tear and I swear as A-Rod was whiffing on that Valverde heater I could hear Hallelujah playing in the back ground.  With the song and the crying it was just like when Marisa Cooper died.


Anyway, I thought Girardi made one of the absolutely most brilliant managerial moves I've ever seen, but then followed it up with a classic bit over over-managing.  First, his pull of Nova after just two innings and 31 pitches was just a great move.  Nova had given up two first inning home runs and a double in the second, but he'd also struck out two batters and retired the last three batters he'd faced.  Sounds like an ok beginning, but watching the game you could tell he didn't really have it.  Most managers would let the pitcher go another inning and try to get him through the fifth.  Girardi saw Nova didn't have his A game and yanked him immediately.  Great move.

Of course, much like that damn overconfident hare who somehow lost to the turtle, Girardi thought he was awesome and made one too many moves, pulling Phil Hughes after just an inning and a third despite the fact that he was dealing but had just given up a hit.  That didn't come back to bite him immediately, but Hughes was looking like he could have pitched deep into the game and suddenly Girardi had to really stretch his bullpen.  That included pitching C.C. Fatbathia on short rest and he eventually blew the game.  I'm just really curious how things could have worked out if he left Hughes in - and he should have.

Lost in all this, of course, is that Fister (Fister?  I hardly know 'er) was looking amazing, which is no real surprise because he's been a whole different pitcher since being traded to Detroit.  His Ks/9 jumped by 50% from around 6 in his career with Seattle to 9 per 9 innings once he came to the Tigers and was suddenly completely unhittable and looked it that night.  I can't help but wonder if it's because of Leyland.  Maybe Seattle was like the Twins and were trying to force him to pitch to contact or some similar retardation and Leyland just cut him loose.  It's possible and you damn well know it.  Why do you love Gardy so much, sicky?

-  Speaking of the Twins, I'm pretty sure I'm done with those season wrap-ups I was doing.  In my defense I got through 3 positions so that's pretty good I think considering how shit-boxy this team was.  And all the positions left are depressing.  Middle infield?  Gross.  Starting pitching?  Vomit.  The bullpen?  Yuck.  I guess the outfield is semi-interesting, but mainly that's because of Ben Revere and Joe Benson.  Can Revere develop a little power or learn how to walk?  Either one of those would make him a legit big league leadoff hitter.  And can Benson become the five-tool stud he's purportedly potentially possible to be or is he going to end up moving to the middle of the country where he becomes a bouncer at the Double Deuce and starts up a fling with the local doctor while feuding with the local rich guy who kind of a dick?

Future Joe?

I don't know.  I mean, I guess it'll be a semi-interesting offseason with decisions to be made on several guys, but most of those decisions are going to be of the "offer a contract: yes/no" rather than trades which are way more fun.  Hopefully they do some interesting things and figure out how to get this team back on track.  God knows I'll be here.

Also, obviously, I learned how to caption photos that I post, so that's probably going to get run into the ground.