Monday's Musings - 10/11/2011

Don't read this.  No, seriously, I mean it.  I don't know when it happened but somehow I've become painfully unfunny lately. This blog is brutal.  For inspiration I read through some of my posts from a year or two ago and they were pretty good, but not only that they inspired some pretty awesome comments that led to awesome conversations in the comment section.  Now?  Nothing.  I've got nothing.  This is going to be terrible.

-  First off the big news is that the Lynx won the WNBA championship.  Here are my thoughts on that:

-  Next up I suppose we need to discuss the Vikings, despite the fact that Don McNabb has somehow managed to combine a noodle arm with the inability to throw the ball anywhere near where he's trying to.  I mean seriously, have you ever seen a worse QB than McNabb?  Have you ever, for kicks, decided to try to throw a curve ball when you play catch with a football?  And it doesn't actually curve or anything, it just goes through the air with a complete wobble, about as far from a spiral as possible?  That's what McNabb's ball is looking like these days.  The Vikings have no chance to win more than 4 games this year unless Christian Ponder is the next Andy Dalton.  Poor AP.  He's wasted like Rico Tucker was wasted that one year.

See these blast points?  Too precise for Donovan McNabb.

-  Speaking of the Gophers, once again the football team got waxed in embarrassing fashion.  Here are my thoughts on that:

-  Also in the shitty football team department, how about that "Dream Team."  In case you missed it that's how the Eagles were being described this off season after signing Asomugha, Steve Smith (the bad one), and Vince Young.  Now they're 1-4 after getting beat by the Bills, and wait what?  Somehow signing Vince Young is supposed to be a good thing?  Sometimes a guy who was great in college and sucks in the pros just sucks.  He doesn't always need a change of scenery or a new scheme or whatever - Vince Young just sucks.  And so do the Eagles apparently.  Who knew that just assembling a bunch of talent with no real regard for how it fits together wouldn't work out   Too much crazy.

-  Speaking of crazy, are you watching this Terra Nova show?  Fuckin' dinosaurs, man.  I don't really know what the plot is yet, but next on House:  some crazy disease nobody can figure out, a crazy doctor who plays by his own rules, and a plot twist.  Sounds spicy!

-  You know what's sweet?  Winning an over 9 runs bet in a game that was tied 3-3 in extra innings when the home team hits a walk-off grand slam.  That, my friends, is luck.

It's like the luck of the Irish only I'm not Irish so you figure it out

-  Anybody still in a survivor pool for the NFL?  If you are it means you're either incredibly smart, and knew not to trust Eli Manning even in a home game against a horrid defense (unlikely, but possible) and also knew that Tavaris Jackson and Charlie Whitehurst would combine to play an efficient, solid game with few mistakes (impossible), or you're stupid.  So yes, I'm telling you if you're still alive you're stupid, because the Giants were the obvious play and not taking them meant you trying to be cute which usually doesn't work out.  So if you're still alive congratulations on being dumb and lucky.  You suck.

-  So what exactly is the deal here with the MLB playoffs, we're going to go from an awesome Divisional round to a shitty Championship round?  Actually I guess we shouldn't really worry yet since it really doesn't matter if the early games are blowouts or are close, just as long as we get to games 6 and especially 7 and they're close it'll be entertaining.  How awesome was last round?  Three Game 5s that all ended as one run affairs including one that went to extra innings?  AND the Yankees lost?  It was a little slice o' heaven.  I shed a tear and I swear as A-Rod was whiffing on that Valverde heater I could hear Hallelujah playing in the back ground.  With the song and the crying it was just like when Marisa Cooper died.


Anyway, I thought Girardi made one of the absolutely most brilliant managerial moves I've ever seen, but then followed it up with a classic bit over over-managing.  First, his pull of Nova after just two innings and 31 pitches was just a great move.  Nova had given up two first inning home runs and a double in the second, but he'd also struck out two batters and retired the last three batters he'd faced.  Sounds like an ok beginning, but watching the game you could tell he didn't really have it.  Most managers would let the pitcher go another inning and try to get him through the fifth.  Girardi saw Nova didn't have his A game and yanked him immediately.  Great move.

Of course, much like that damn overconfident hare who somehow lost to the turtle, Girardi thought he was awesome and made one too many moves, pulling Phil Hughes after just an inning and a third despite the fact that he was dealing but had just given up a hit.  That didn't come back to bite him immediately, but Hughes was looking like he could have pitched deep into the game and suddenly Girardi had to really stretch his bullpen.  That included pitching C.C. Fatbathia on short rest and he eventually blew the game.  I'm just really curious how things could have worked out if he left Hughes in - and he should have.

Lost in all this, of course, is that Fister (Fister?  I hardly know 'er) was looking amazing, which is no real surprise because he's been a whole different pitcher since being traded to Detroit.  His Ks/9 jumped by 50% from around 6 in his career with Seattle to 9 per 9 innings once he came to the Tigers and was suddenly completely unhittable and looked it that night.  I can't help but wonder if it's because of Leyland.  Maybe Seattle was like the Twins and were trying to force him to pitch to contact or some similar retardation and Leyland just cut him loose.  It's possible and you damn well know it.  Why do you love Gardy so much, sicky?

-  Speaking of the Twins, I'm pretty sure I'm done with those season wrap-ups I was doing.  In my defense I got through 3 positions so that's pretty good I think considering how shit-boxy this team was.  And all the positions left are depressing.  Middle infield?  Gross.  Starting pitching?  Vomit.  The bullpen?  Yuck.  I guess the outfield is semi-interesting, but mainly that's because of Ben Revere and Joe Benson.  Can Revere develop a little power or learn how to walk?  Either one of those would make him a legit big league leadoff hitter.  And can Benson become the five-tool stud he's purportedly potentially possible to be or is he going to end up moving to the middle of the country where he becomes a bouncer at the Double Deuce and starts up a fling with the local doctor while feuding with the local rich guy who kind of a dick?

Future Joe?

I don't know.  I mean, I guess it'll be a semi-interesting offseason with decisions to be made on several guys, but most of those decisions are going to be of the "offer a contract: yes/no" rather than trades which are way more fun.  Hopefully they do some interesting things and figure out how to get this team back on track.  God knows I'll be here.

Also, obviously, I learned how to caption photos that I post, so that's probably going to get run into the ground.

Monday Musings

I was actually going to bring back the good ole Weekend Review since we have three sports running right now, but then i was like meh.  So here's some thoughts from the weekend.

-  I know it would be in bad taste, what with the Coach Kill stuff, to badmouth the Gophers about losing to New Mexico State so I'm not going to do it.  Also making fun of the Gophers for losing to stupid shitty teams has kind of gotten old.  Instead I'll put on my happy sunshine magic ice cream glasses and look at the positive.  In that case I need to point out that Da'Jon McKnight is really damn good at catching the ball and also getting open.  McKnight had 9 catches for 146 yards and a score on Saturday, which was 50% of the teams catches and somewhere in the 60% neighborhood of their receiving yards.  And also he just looks like a player out there.  Catching that many balls from a wide receiver forced to play QB and a freshman is a testament to his ability.  Guy's solid.  Might end up actually being even better than Eric Decker, but far less sexy.

-  So you're Michigan.  You have the fastest quarterback in the NCAA since Major Harris.  The type of QB you never have, tending to stick to the tall, white, immobile pocket passer type like Jon Navarre and Elvis Grbac.  So you decide to implement the west coast offense?  Just stupid.  And I know they won, but you know why they won?  Because in the second half they were like, "Denard, go be Denard" and that's mostly what he did.  Did he miss some wide open receivers?  Yes.  Did he make some terrible decisions?  Yes.  Did he make some incredible plays with arm and legs?  Yes, yes he did.  That is why you let Major Harris loose.  He completed less than 50% of his passes, but still threw for over 300 yards and 4 TDs while rushing over 100 yards.  That's what guys like this do.  And, if you're a good coach, you realize this and mold your offense to fit him, not try to cram Major Harris into a Joe Montana bit.  Whoever the Michigan coach is recognized that in the second half, it'll be interesting to see if he recognizes that for the rest of the year(s).  Also yeah that probably doesn't warrant a place in the suck column but I'm sure as shit not going to devote an entire post to fucking Michigan football.  And also I started this post when they were down 24-7, so I'm kinda stuck.
-  How about Austin Jackson's week?  Jesus what an asshole.  Here's how it went down:  0-5 2 Ks, 1-5 2 Ks, 1-6 3 Ks, 0-4 2 Ks, 0-2 2 Ks, and 1-4 with 2 Ks.  That's 3-26 with 12 strikeouts, 3 runs scored, 0 rbi, and 0 steals.  You know how I know how shitty he was?  Because the fantasy baseball playoffs started this week and not only do we have this cock mouse on our roster, but we stared him.  Why would we start him you ask?  Because the week prior he went 18-34 with 3 doubles, 3 triples, 2 homers, 5 rbi, 8 runs scored, and 2 steals.  So yes, he's quite an ass.

-  Speaking of that, how about that Donovan McNabb this weekend?  I actually thought he looked pretty spry and his piss poor numbers are probably more the fault of that crappy offensive line than actually McNabb's fault, but any time you fail to crack 40 passing yards and you play the entire game that clearly isn't good.  Defense looked good at least and AP is a stud and it's not like they got blown out against a clear playoff team so I'm not panicking or anything just yet, but that line needs to get it figured out in a hurry.

-  Since the Twins have no hope, and as such I don't currently see any reason to discuss until the season's over and we can figure out which bums we hope get booted, let's talk about two of the top prospects in baseball who are now up with the big clubs:  Jesus Montero, C, Yankees and Matt Moore, P, Rays.  Montero, who has been the Yankees #1 prospect for like 10 years, has been up now for about a week and a half and has smoked the ball, hitting .308/.400/.654 with 3 homers and basically been somewhere between Ryan Braun and Jose Bautista.  Moore has been tabbed the #1 pitching prospect in baseball by some and considered a future ace by most.  The Rays don't have him slotted in a rotation spot yet, so I'm guessing he'll be used out the pen similarly to how they used David Price a few years ago. 

Meanwhile the Twins top prospects have either regressed or are 17 years old.  It's gonna be a long couple of years, boys.  I suggest you jump on over to the Royals bandwagon with me.

- Lastly, since we're talking about hope and how there is none for Minnesota sports teams, the Houston Cougars are about to become the newest mid-major who can do some serious damage after an epic weekend of signings.  The Cougars, who I can only assume are cheating, signed SF Danuel House and PF Danrad "Chicken" Knowles.  Why this is notable, besides someone voluntarily going by the name Chicken, is because House is the #15 player in the class of 2012 according to Rivals.com, and Knowles is ranked #47 so this is a huge step for Houston.  Both are from Texas, which helped Houston out at least somewhat, but both also had offers from Baylor and Arkansas (which is practically Texas) and House chose the Cougars over the Longhorns (as well as Kansas, Ohio State, and Arizona).  So not only is this one huge get for a completely unknown coach at a subpar program, but it's two huge gets. 

Sigh.