Monday Musings

-  Do you realize that we've officially hit the month (October) which is the same month the NBA starts (October)?  I didn't either, but a co-worker mentioned to me the NBA actually starts at the end of this month (October) and sure enough, he's right.  Crazy.  I know I don't write a ton of NBA stuff because I only casually follow it during the season because college hoops is so much better, but every season I get excited for the start of the season before watching one game and remembering everything that bores me about it until the playoffs.  I actually started this post as an early NBA preview but then I got bored.  I'm sure TRE or I will have something up as we get closer to the season.  Two predictions:  T-Wolves make the playoffs as a 7 seed and the Sixers take the 2 seed in the East.  Also hopefully everyone on the Lakers dies.

-  Ok a little bit more on the Wolves, who I am optimistic about despite not knowing exactly when Rubio will be back.  Kevin Love is an absolute superstar, even if it's sometimes hard to think of him as such when you keep remembering the chubby unathletic kid from UCLA who you were convinced would be an NBA bust, but finishing 4th in the league in scoring and 2nd in rebounding while knocking down a ton of 3s (led the team and 21st in the league) is pretty clearly superstar type numbers (not to mention finishing 6th in MVP voting on a non-playoff team).  Not to mention how many amazing nights did he have when your jaw would just drop?  The double-double streak.  The 20-rebound games.  The 40 (and 50) point nights.  The four game stretch where he averaged 37 & 16.  The buzzer beater against LAC?  Obviously I love this guy, and having him guarantees the Wolves will at least be competitive for a spot in the playoffs this year.

And the complementary pieces just work.  Pekovic will be back and oh my he is just a beast and you know he's killed at least three people with his bare hands back in Mother Russia.  We might as well call him Zangeif.  He's the perfect guy to put down next to Love because if anybody starts shit with Love Zangeif will just rip their head off and make them eat it somehow.

In mother Russia, ball rebounds you!

Then Ridnour/Barea are just fine to fill in until Rubio comes back, and that's not even taking into account Alexey Shved who has a chance to be a little bit of a Rubio Lite.  Adding Andre Kirilenko gives you a defensive stopper (and a few too many commies, if you ask me) even if he's a bit long in the tooth.  The biggest weakness last year was on the wing, but with Roy (if his knees hold up), Derrick Williams (who apparently lost weight to play more on the wing), Chase Budinger, and Kirilenko two of them should work out well enough.  Back up big men are a little shaky with Lou Amundsen and Greg Stiemsma, but if everything goes according to plan you just need them to get in the way on defense and please god don't shoot on offense and shouldn't that be enough to get into the playoffs?  I say yes.  Plus, and I know everybody has made these jokes already a million times, but have you ever seen so many white guys on one team?  Crazy.  Not Camila and her sweet rack from Road Rules/Real World Challenge crazy, but crazy.

A little crazy can be a good thing.

Seriously I hate being so optimistic.  Between the Wolves and the Gophers my basketball boner for this season is off the charts.  If I had to rank my confidence that they'd each have a good season (playoffs for the Wolves, top-4 conference finish and NCAA win for the Gophers) on a scale of 1-10 I'd be at a combined 18, much higher than the old record of 6.

- I suppose I should say something about the Gopher footballers poor performance against Iowa on Saturday.  Unfortunately by the time I realized the game was on and turned it to ESPN2 it was already 17-0 and then Shortell kept throwing interceptions so eventually Wonderbaby and I played Super Mario Brothers on the Wii instead.  We won!

-  If Tony Romo doesn't start throwing the ball to Dez Bryant I swear to god I'm going to kill someone.  With a pitchfork or something else really stabby.  God Romo just sucks.

-  Pretty epic choke job at the Ryder Cup, which is much less sexy than it sounds.  Sadly I missed most of it watching football because like most of the free world I assumed there was no possible way the U.S. could lose and also because I was at my parents' house with Bear and they have Red Zone Channel and I was like whoa.  As such, I missed seeing Furyk and Mickelson pee down their legs, but thanks to a well-timed text from Snacks I was able to flip over in time to see Stricker wrap his putter around his neck.   I know people who don't watch golf don't quite get it (like Bear was talking about how the Ryder Cup is stupid on Sunday before I distracted him by talking about men in bike shorts), but this is devastating.  It seems hard to believe when you're talking about something that only happens every two years between groups of people who never play as a team, but if you watch it and watch it every two years you know what I'm talking about.  Europe has been destroying the U.S. almost every time out, and for the Americans to jump out to what would usually be an insurmountable lead, on their home soil, only to give it away by letting Europe win nearly every match when it came down to man vs. man?  Luckily everyone can go back to being an individual instead of a team for the next 2 years and try to forget (yeah I know they have the President's Cup or whatever but let's not pretend anybody gives a crap), and hopefully in two years everyone will be done thinking/talking/obsessing over this.  Ha ha just kidding.  In two years just wait to see how much this is talked about.  Prepare to throw up all over yourself like Stricker on 17. 

-  As for my thoughts on the upcoming presidential election, I'm just kidding.  God bless you whackos.

-  And I forgot to mention the Vikings.  They still suck, but now they're winning while they suck which is pretty much better than losing while sucking and actually worked for that Trent Dilfer team who sucked all year long until they won the Super Bowl.  So am I saying the Vikings are going to win the Super Bowl?  Yes, yes I am.

-  Seriously Tony Romo is absolutely fucking terrible.   You know how bad Fat Stafford looked this Sunday against the Vikings?  That's like Tony Romo 14 games a year.  Being a Dez fan is hard enough watching this, I can't believe there are Cowboy fans who haven't killed themselves yet.  God this must be brutal for 16 weeks a year.

-  Pretty fired up for the baseball playoffs.  Do you realize the Orioles are going to be in the playoffs despite not having won 70+ games since 2006, 80+ games since 1997, and their preseason OVER/UNDER on season wins was 69.5?  That shit is nuts.  And there's a good chance the A's are there as well, and they've won 80+ just once since 2007.  Not to mention that the probably best team (Nationals) shut down their best pitcher for the playoffs for some misguided, though well intentioned, reasons and the two best starting staffs amongst the contenders (Angels and Rays) likely won't make the playoffs.  Crazy.  I'm guessing TRE and I will have some sort of preview up, so until then........

Random Thoughts on a Tuesday Night

It's some random thoughts on a Tuesday night, much like the title told you.  What the title didn't tell you, however, and what you know that people who just read the title and clicked close don't, is that I'm sucking back some sweet, sweet alcohol while I type this, in the form of vodka & iced tea.  Is that weird?  I feel like that might be weird, but it's good.  So suck it.

- I read something today where a writer asked if Dayton was the next Butler, college hoopswise. I wish I could find the damn article, but nevertheless it sent me into a rage, as you'd guess, because I hate Dayton worse than I hate you. If you recall, or if you're new, you might remember that the Bar I frequent when I go to Chicago for the NCAA Tournament with Snacks, Snake, and Dawger when we visit Bogart and his giant TV is also a Dayton bar, and one year we were there Dayton was actually playing and their fans were some of the biggest idiot poser fancy boys I had ever seen.

So, last year when I was previewing the Atlantic 10 I referred to Dayton fans as hipster doofuses and predicted they'd miss the NCAA Tournament. Dayton fans found the blog and did not much appreciate my comments. Several emails of an unsavory nature were exchanged, there was mention of my living in a trailer (note: not true), and let's just say it wasn't pretty. Also, I fucking hate Dayton. Thus, said article which I can not find pretty much prompted this entire post.

And it deserves to be written about, because Dayton is about as far from Butler as Nick Blackburn is from a competent pitcher. First, Dayton's conference is light years beyond Butler's. The Horizon is a perennial one-bid conference, whereas the A-10 almost always sends between two and four teams; might as well ask if Xavier is the next North Carolina. Secondly, what exactly are we basing this dynastic prediction on, four straight years of underachievement topped off by an NIT Championship?  One NCAA berth in the last six years?  Really, an NIT Championship doesn't mean anything - really, despite what they want you to think nobody uses it as a springboard to success, ever - and even if it did, Dayton is losing seven players and 3 starters so who cares?  This whole dynasty is based around an overrated PF (Chris Wright) who can't ever stay healthy, and now they need a freshman and a transfer from fucking Drake to be their ballhandlers.

Dayton is a dynasty the same way Two and a Half Men is a good show - it's not true and you'd have to be a god damned moron to think so.  The Flyers and their fans can all bite me.

-  Jennifer Love Hewitt is going to be guesting on Law & Order:  SVU?  Man, how far has she fallen?  If you have a chance and haven't, go rent Heartbreakers and prepare for boner city.  No kidding, probably the hottest chick in a movie ever not counting Mila Kunis in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Audrina in Sorority Row, and Tiffani Thiessen in anything ever.  You forget, but Jennifer Love Hewitt used to be at the absolute top of the hot chick pyramid.  Now she's doing Lifetime movies and guest spots.  She's now the Dayton of hot chicks.  Sad.

-  I'm all for relaxing, but anybody else think the Twins might want to continue playing this season instead of just packing it in until the playoffs start?  I'm not entirely sure of the rules here, but I think if they don't start winning games Bud Selig might step in and renounce them from the playoffs.  And who the hell is going to be the fourth starter now?  Slowey threw batting practice yesterday, and tonight Blackburn is getting lit up by Mike Aviles and Kila Ka'aihue for christ's sake.  Everything is set up for Baker, and he's probably the best choice anyway because he's the least likely to give up 6 runs in 3 innings.  Not that he's necessarily not likely, just slightly less likely than the velocity haters he's in competition with.

Seriously, close your eyes.  Now take off your pants.  Now imagine it's game four of the ALDS, we're at Yankee stadium, and the Twins are down 2 games to 1, but all games have been closely played.  They need someone to shut down the Yankees on the road.  Who is the last pitcher you'd want out there?  Correct, it's Nick Blackburn.  I would have also accepted Kevin Slowey, Anthony Swarzak, or Jeff Manship.  Scott Baker ranks slightly ahead of them because he's more likely to be absolutely lights out, no matter who he's facing.  Of course, we could also see the longest home run in the history of Yankee baseball (and Mantle allegedly hit a 600 footer).  Yes, longer than Mantles.  Imagine a 3-0 count on A-Rod.  Now take off your pants again.  Now imagine the bases are loaded and the winning run is on third, so Baker has to throw a strike.  How far could A-Rod hit that ball?  700 ft?  800?

- Anybody else watching The Event? I don't think it's terrible just yet, but I do think it's trying awfully hard to be both Lost and 24, even though I never ever watched 24 because it takes more than gun fights and explosions to entertain me. Anyway, it seems ok and any time D.B. Sweeney is involved you know I'm a fan, but this show could take a wrong turn in an awful hurry. I mean, this "plot" is like tightrope thin. Kind of like how the Dark Tower series by Stephen King could be brilliant on TV in the right hands, but would be a laughable train wreck if handled incorrectly. Or like the Game of Thrones series coming up on HBO. Real delicate stuff here. Actually, I'm not really sure why I made that comparison, except that those are two of my favorite book series and one is coming to TV and the other might be soon. Really, so far The Event is weird and doesn't make much sense and I only watched about half of episode two, but it's got this chick in a bikini so I'll keep watching:

-  Speaking of Episode 2, Mrs. W bought Wonderbaby^TM a Star Wars coloring book today, which she loved, and she likes to watch me play Lego Star Wars, so we watched a half hour of Episode I today (went with that one because it's most kid friendly) and she thought it rocked and didn't want to turn it off.  I'm looking to have her fully nerdifyed by age 4.

-  So who's excited for the Ryder Cup?  I am.  I think the Euro team is far better than the Americans, but we have a few units down on the USA just because, like Billy Mitchell, I'm proud to represent my country, even when I'm not really representing anything and really am more just betting on people who are representing my country.  Like Lex Luger.  Anyway, Sergio sucking too bad all year to not make the team is a huge break for the Americanos, because that dude is a machine at this stuff (career 14-3-3 record).  Nobody on the American team is a good Ryder Cup player, and Mickelson and Furyk are two of the worst, and unfortunately Jeff Overton made the team and then Rickie Fowler got picked for some reason, so really there is no reason to be on the USA except blind faith in good ole apple pie and blue jeans.  And a good underdog payout. 

-  The Rockies are losing again tonight, and most people don't really care, but we have the Rockies at OVER 85.5 wins for the year, and currently they are at 83-73 which means they need to go 3-3 to win the bet, which is starting to look less and less likely due to this incredible un-Rocky-like skid they are in which, if they lose again tonight, will have them at 1-8 in their last 9 games.  Which means that nine games ago they were 82-65 and needed to go just 4-11 to win it for us.  Thanks assholes.  I blame Helton. 

-  Also the Mets just need to lose two more games.  Pray for us.

-  I'm sure there's more, but the baby is waking up and by the time I get done feeding and taking care of him, whatever mojo is driving this post will be long gone.  So I'll just leave you with this:  Dez Bryant is going to destroy the NFL, Randy Moss style.  If not this year, then next. 

Make your time.

Weekend Review

NOTE: The Gophers have signed PG Justin Cobbs, meaning my dreams of Eric Bledsoe are not to be. I will write more on this at some point probably.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1. USA! USA! Nice win for the US team to take back the Ryder Cup for the first time in a hundred years or something. The entire tourny was a good watch, with the US jumping out to a big lead on the morning of Day 1 and never looking back. Special note goes to Hunter Mahan, who led the US team in total points, and Anthony Kim, who beat Ryder Cup superstar Sergio Garcia in the first match of singles play and set the tone for the US on Sunday.

2. Ian Poulter. It wasn't just about the Americans this weekend, as Poulter let everyone know he is for real, going 4-1-0 to lead all players in points. When Poulter was taken by Faldo as one of his captain's picks there was a lot of second guessing, wondering if he should have gone with an established Ryder player like Darren Clarke or Colin Montgomerie, but Poulter certainly shut up all those second guessing commies. He may be ready to take a big step forward in his game next season.

3. BYU. Don't look now, but the fighting mormons are 4-0 and kicking the piss out of the less pious teams in their way. The won 44-0 over Wyoming this weekend, following up a 59-0 whooping of UCLA. They have a tremendous offense, lead by QB Max Hall, who is completing 75% of his passes so far, with 15 TDs to just 2 INTs. The defense isn't too shabby either, only allowing five TDs in their four games thus far. They could very easily end up going undefeated and ending up in a BCS game, with their toughest game being the season finale against the fellow unbeaten crazy mormons of Utah U.

4. Gopher Football. I suppose if I'm mentioning 4-0 football teams, I should bring up the mighty mighty Gophers. I didn't watch the game, mostly because they suck and are boring, but it sounds like a thorough ass-whooping of a revenge game. Things area about to get very real in a hurry for our beloved Gophers, as next Saturday the head on over to Columbus to take on THE Ohio State University. It ain't gonna be pretty.

5. Gus Frerotte. He certainly wasn't a superstar, but threw for over 200 yards and led the team to victory. How crazy was it to see someone actually know how to play quarterback wearing purple? I actually saw him look both right and left, it was crazy. I swear T-Jax was playing some version of call your field when he dropped back. Nice to see an actual professional back there.

WHO SUCKED

1. Minnesota Twins. I have no doubt there are those of you out there still holding out hope and believing in the crap face team, but they pretty much blew their final chance only getting a split against Tampa. They managed to squeak out the first game by getting crazy lucky, and finished out the series with a gem from Liriano, but in between they looked like total ass. The Sox have done everything they can to give the division to the team, winning just 2 out of their last five, but they continue to refuse to take it. Down 2.5 games with just six remaining, it's not mathematically over, but this team sucks so brutally bad I don't see any possible way this is happening.

2. East Carolina. Wasn't that long ago I was writing here about how the Pirates were awesome, and now the suck after dropping an easy win against NC State over the weekend. Look, a team like ECU from a conference like C-USA pretty much needs to go undefeated to have a chance at a BCS game. The Pirates were in great shape to do so, and with wins over VA Tech and WVU already were a shoo-in for a BCS Bowl. Now? They'll probably end up playing the Gophers in the Poulan Weedeater Independence Bowl.

3. New England Patriots. Yikes. I guess if you're going to end your 21 game regular season winning streak at home against the crappy Dolphins, getting rolled by 25 is the way to do it. I thought Cassell might be able to handle his business, but now it looks like the Pats are in trouble in a big way. Suddenly those of us who traded for Randy Moss from panicked owners in our fantasy leagues have become panicked owners ourselves. Think they've called Culpepper yet?

4. Cleveland Browns. Oh oh, everyone's happy little sleeper team has turned out to be a giant pile of crap. Derek Anderson was a pro bowler last year, but suddenly has turned into Tavaris Jackson without the running part. And my guy, Braylon Edwards, is looking to shatter the NFL record for drops. Um, he's not so much my guy anymore. And speaking of horrible predictions....

5. Houston Texans. WORST. SLEEPER. PICK. EVER.