These MLB Playoffs are Pretty Neat, Guys (+ new Gopher BBall Commit)

Taking a break from the NCAA Hoops Previews to weight on on the baseball playoffs, an awesome collection of series so far.  I'm enjoying the hell out of this, and it helps that I have a ton of money down on futures (Tigers to win AL, Cards to win both NL and World Series not to mention loads of props on every game).  Seriously, it would be great if there was some kind of player rewards card for people who make way too many bets.

Speaking of, check out this information for more on players reward card.  Before I talk hardball, however, I would be remiss if I didn't at least mention that the Gopher hoops team picked up another recruit for 2013 in power forward Alex Foster, joining Alvin Ellis as a future Gopher.  Foster is a 6-8 skinny kid from Chicago who was thought of as one of the best players in Chicago way back when he was in 8th grade, but who has since tailed off a bit and is ranked by ESPN as a middle-of-the-road 3-star recruit (his other offers were from Tennessee and Nebraska, again according to ESPN).  The good news here is that he is super athletic, and with that pedigree (yes back to 8th grade but still) offers considerable upside.  Like Ellis he has been a target of the Gophers for quite some time, which means that even if Tubby isn't signing the greatest players he is at least able to get the guys he really wants to sign here.  Good, not great, signing, but at least things are moving in the right direction again, not to mention setting up a regular pipeline to Chicago (Ellis is also a Chicago kid) can only be a positive.

Also, quick, the reports on my new favorite Gopher Charles Buggs are in from the "Midnight" Madness scrimmage last Friday and by all accounts HE.  IS.  AWESOME.  Led all scorers with 10 pts on 4-4 shooting including 2-2 from 3 and grabbed 2 rebounds, plus was apparently one of the more impressive dunkers in the dunk contest?  Are you kidding me?  He's everything I always knew I always wanted.  I seriously can't wait.  We goin' Sizzla.  

Ok, now on to baseball and I'll start with the Wild Card.  From day one I was in favor of the change to two wild card teams per league with a 1-game playoff and I'm pretty sure I'm right.  I understand the criticisms many people had such as complaining that they were just trying to manufacture drama, that anything random can happen in a 1-game series so it was meaningless, and so on.  But the fact is, winning the Wild Card the last few years was basically the same as winning your division.  Other than not having home field advantage (and one division winner wouldn't have it anyway) and playing the best team (if that team happened to not be from your division) what was the difference?  Basically nil.  Now?  Winning the Wild Card puts you at a drastic disadvantage compared to a division winner because if you get hit with a bad call (Atlanta) or run into a hot pitcher (Texas) you're done.  I think it's awesome and if you don't I hope you get a stomach parasite.

The sucky thing about the Division Series is we lost all the interesting teams.  Only Oakland, Baltimore, Cincy, and Washington haven't been regular playoff fixtures in recent times, and all four lost.  I was glad, actually, to see Washington get bounced just because their decision to shut down Strasburg irked me so irksomely, but I would have loved to see Baltimore, Cincinnati, and/or Oakland advance just because it's more interesting than watching New York and Detroit again.  That being said, how great was it that every single series went the full five games?  And it wasn't just that they went down to sudden death, but how it all happened.  If even one of these scenarios happened this would have been an awesome round of the playoffs:

• St. Louis falls behind 6-0 in the third inning of Game 5 and are down to their final strike twice before rallying for four in the ninth to win their sixth straight elimination game.
• The underdog Orioles refuse to die and push the hated Yankees to the final game with two games going extra innings (back-to-back 12 and 13 inning affairs) and three total one-run games.
• Oakland scares the crap out of Detroit by winning games 3 & 4 after having been down 2-0, leading to Justin Verlander throwing one of the best games in playoff history (in Oakland no less) to advance the Tigers.
• The Giants lose the first two games at home, then win the next three in Cincinnati to knock out the Reds.

So yeah, it sucks that none of interesting teams are still left, but there's still plenty of interesting things going on here in the LCS's, including the incredibly enjoyable collapse of the Yankees.   Granderson and A-Rod are striking out at a World Record pace, but even they aren't hurting the team as much as Robinson Cano (who not only hasn't hit but also made a game killing error (I know it wasn't technically an error because you can't assume a double play but that was an error)) and Nick Swisher (who has been so awful both at the plate and in the field that he's definitely played his way out of New York and may have cut his contract in half both in terms of money and duration).  This has been great in so many ways, and I'm so glad the Yankees hit like crap in the Orioles series as well as this one, because otherwise this would be so set-up to add to the legend of Jeter.  This would all be blamed on them not having "The Captain" and everyone would be in boner mode.

Now I can see this series going one of two ways.  The best way would be that Justin Verlander completely shuts them in game 3 in near no-hitter fashion, they continue to desperately scramble at the plate and resort to crazy tactics (such as hit-and-running with Raul Ibanez and his Matthew LeCroy like speed) to try to score any runs at all and they end up getting swept while the world rejoices.  Or, because the Yankees are some evil demon and everyone knows that demons are notoriously hard to kill, they will somehow manage to destroy Verlander and end up winning this series in 7 games.  I know that would suck, but in another way it would be good to get to root against the Yankees for another series.  I'm still rooting for them to get swept here though, because they are dicks.

As for the NL, how freaking sweet must it be to be a Cards fan?  All they ever do is win.  In 2006 they won just 83 games but played in a crappy division so they won a playoff berth where they managed to beat two superior teams, setting up a World Series against the massively favored Detroit Tigers.  Naturally the Cards won by somehow getting the Tigers to make 8 errors in 5 games and holding them to a .199 batting average despite pitching dudes like Anthony Reyes, making them the worst team (record-wise) to ever win a World Series.  In 2011 they again made the series against the Rangers after qualifying for the Wild Card on the final day of the regular season and fell behind 3-2 and were twice down to their final strike before rallying to win and then won game 7 to take another World Series.  Now they were basically about to be eliminated by the Nationals but somehow turned it around to win that one as well.

I mean, enough is enough, right?  Stop rubbing it in, guys.  They're like the anti-Twins with their postseason play, not to mention that they lost the best hitter of the last 10 years to free agency, lost their starting first baseman (Lance Berkman) and starting shortstop (Rafael Furcal) to injury, and got just 20 starts from Jaime Garcia and 3 from Chris Carpenter, yet here they are.  I like the Giants and all, even without the usual Lincecum, but how can anybody fight that Redbird mojo?  It's a true law of nature like water or dinosaurs.  Sorry Giants, but you can't fight against dinosaurs.

Five Best Trade Deadline Trades

1.  Pirates acquire Travis Snider from Toronto for Brad Lincoln.  This one doesn't get a whole ton of play in the media because it's not as sexy as a lot of the other trades that went down and if it does it's always mentioned as a "trade of two failed prospects, both of whom were drafted in the first round of the 2006 draft.  That may be true, but that doesn't mean Pittsburgh didn't get a steal here.  The Pirates have gotten nothing out of their left-fielders this year (mainly Alex Presley), with a combined .198 average, and Snider just so happens to play left field.  The Pirates also have an excellent bullpen with a combined 2.81 ERA out of the pen this year, so although Lincoln has pitched well this year they aren't exactly going to notice his loss.  Then there's their performance.  Before settling in the pen this year Lincoln was tried as a starter twice, finishing 2010 with a 6.66 ERA (9 starts) and 2011 with a 4.72 (8 starts).  He was always a starter in the minors, and outside of 13 double-A starts in 2009 (when he was already 24) and two AAA starts this year he's never posted an ERA below 4.00 at any level.  Safe to say he's a middle reliever, and as I've discussed here a lot middle relievers pretty much grow on trees.  Lincoln was worth little.  Snider, on the other hand, with five plus .300 average seasons in seven in the minors with good plate discipline and good power.  He also hit .300 his first year in the majors (.301 in 80 PAs) and hit 14 homers in 319 PAs in 2010, but he's battled a lot of injuries and been on the DL quite a bit.  He's also 3 years younger than Lincoln.  Basically the Pirates traded a player that plays a position they don't need who you pretty much already know his ceiling for a player at a position they need who has shown promise and if could stay healthy still has the potential to be an impact player.  Great trade. 

2.  Cubs acquire Arodys Vizcaino (and Jaye Chapman) from Atlanta for Paul Maholm and Reed Johnson.  The Braves acquired Vizcaino in the trade where they shipped Javier Vazquez to the Yankees in 2009 when he was the #16 prospect in New York's system.  Since then he's ranked #5, #5, and #2 while in the Braves' system, and is now headed to the Cubs (along with a top-25ish reliever guy).  All they had to give up was a journeyman outfielder in Johnson and a back-of-the-rotation starter who, literally, anybody could have had for about $5 million this offseason in Maholm.  The downside of this trade for Chicago is nobody gives a shit.  Maholm is not going to develop into a Cy Young candidate, so no matter what happens the Cubs aren't hurt.  The upside is Vizcaino, who has #2 type stuff.  For a team that's been pretty smart about moves the Braves were awfully antsy this year, trying to give Randall Delgado (#3 prospect) to the Cubs first for Ryan Dempster before he blocked it and then following it up by trading prospect #2.  Epstein has actually done a nice job dealing with the hellhole that is Chicago's roster, and at some point he's going to find a taker for Soriano.  I have to admit, I have a feeling that nerd will get the best of that one as well.

3.  Angels acquire Zack Greinke from Milwaukee for Jean Segura, Ariel Pena, and John Hellweg.  The Angels certainly didn't underpay, giving up three prospects ranked in their top 15 but getting Greinke, and maybe more importantly not letting the Rangers or Yankees get him, will be a key to the Angels postseason success this year.  This move sets up their rotation as Jered Weaver, Greinke, C.J. Wilson, and Dan Haren, and if Haren wasn't having a pretty tough year I'd say that's one of the best rotation I'd seen in a while.  Certainly they have an edge when compared to the other contenders, with Haren their fourth starter compared to guys like Phil Hughes, Zach Britton, Clay Buchholz, Phil Humber, Doug Fister, Travis Blackley, Derek Holland, Jeremy Hellickson, and Brett Cecil - and they're better than almost every other team at the #2 and #3 spots, too.  The Giants showed in 2010 that pitching can win championships, and their rotation of Lincecum, Cain, Bumgarner, and Jonathan Sanchez wasn't as good as what the Angels have now put together.  In fact, I just talked myself into a small bet on them to win the world series at 6-1.  Take advantage man, take advantage.

4.  Yankees acquire Ichiro Suzuki from Seattle for D.J. Mitchell and Danny Farquhar.  Mostly I like this one because the Yankees' risk is basically nil.  Farquhar is nowhere near a top prospect list and has already been traded 3 times and waived twice in his four year career and has an upside of a 7th inning reliever, while Mitchell is a meh starter who is in his third year at AAA at age 25.  For that low price they get a guy who, although he's been on the decline the last two years, did hit over .300 for 10 straight years, and a guy who agreed to hit low in the lineup, move positions, and sit against at least some lefties.  Ichiro wanted out (there is a theory he's just been bored the last two years playing for such a shitty team), Seattle wanted him out so they wouldn't have to deal with the headache of resigning/not resigning him, and so the Yankees swoop in with almost no risk.  Their production out of their left-fielders (Raul Ibanez/Andruw Jones) has been brutal, so if Ichiro plays as he has all year it's a small upgrade.  But if the move to New York and a contender lights a fire under his ass and he plays like pre-2011 Ichiro?  Look out.  And all for the cost of two non-prospects. 

5.  Royals acquire J.C. Sulbaran and Donnie Joseph from Cincinnati for Jonathan Broxton.  This is the exact kind of trade the Twins should have been making.  Broxton was only signed to a one-year deal, the Royals clearly weren't going anywhere this year, and several teams had interest so the Royals leveraged that and got the most they could.  They picked up Joseph, a top-25ish type prospect in the Reds system who has been a nearly unhittable closer in both AA and AAA this year, and Sulbaran, ranked 12th among Reds' prospects and a starter whose numbers are pedestrian but Baseball America said he had the best curveball in the entire Reds' system.  Sulbaran gives them another young arm as they try to figure out the whole pitching situation as they make the alleged run towards a division title everyone is telling us to expect, and Joseph can probably start in the big leagues next season so they have some flexibility with Soria coming off injury and owed $8 million (team option).  Good trade, and exactly the kind of thing the Twins could have/should have done.

I also think Jeremy Guthrie is a good pick-up for them.  I mean he sucks, but you know he's going to give you 200 semi-ok innings and you need at least one guy like that if you're going to be a contender.  Of course they have to resign him, find more talented pitchers to put around him, and then dudes have to hit to turn them into a contender, but like Leo Marvin said, "Babysteps."

Baseball 1st Half in Review

In lieu of a week in review post, since baseball's first half officially has come to a close I figured I'd do a Baseball's First Half in Review sort of thing.  I'm going to avoid talking about some of the more obvious things like the breakout first halves of Mike Trout and Bryce Harper, the success of the Nationals in general, R.A. Dickey's sudden change to one of the best pitchers in baseball, or Tim Lincecum's fall of a cliff.  I'm also going to avoid spotlighting obvious things anyone could have predicted coming into the season like Stephen Strasburg being unhittable, Joey Votto being a pimp daddy, or Nick Blackburn regularly getting lit up like a Christmas tree or a Portland hippie.  I'm also not writing any Twins stuff in this because I've covered them plenty, especially the Twins' two biggest success stories this year in Ben Revere and Trevor Plouffe, so if you don't care about the rest of the majors I feel your time would probably best be used doing something else.  Also Chris Sale is pretty awesome but I just wrote about him too so I'm not going to do it again.

So what did I find?  Stuff.  Will it be interesting?  READ ON.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Gio Gonzalez.  Generally moving from the AL to the NL benefits pitchers quite a bit, and Gonzalez is the latest and perhaps greatest example of that after the A's traded him to Washington prior to this season.  He had always flashed significant potential, finishing in the top 10 in AL ERA twice, strikeouts twice, and HR/9 twice, but he also struggled with control, leading the league in walks in 2011 and finishing second in 2010.  He hasn't exactly stopped walking people, and still ranks 7th in the league, but he's cut down a bit and compliments that by striking out more people than ever (10.5 per nine ips).  He's giving up fewer homers and fewer hits, and has basically become an absolute monster and would be the ace of pretty much any staff that didn't also already have Stephen Strasburg on it.  So, nice trade Beane. 

HONORABLE MENTION (in this same type of category):  Brandon Morrow.

2.  Austin Jackson.  Jackson, who if you remember was the key component in the Curtis Granderson trade, had been heading towards a solid career as a less speedy Gary Pettis - decent defense, poor average, big strikeout totals, and very little power.  In fact, two years ago Jackson became the first player in MLB history to whiff 170+ times and hit less than 5 home runs, and the following season he because the first player with 180+ strikeouts and 10 or fewer home runs - not exactly a good trend.  Then there were reports over the offseason that Jackson was revamping his swing and unlike most of those kind of adjustments boy has this paid off with Jackson basically becoming a completely different player.   His K rate is down to a more manageable level (still high, but more like Josh Willingham than Adam Dunn), his walks are up to where he's actually a respectable leadoff hitter, and he's second in the AL in batting average at .332.  That's guaranteed to drop in the second half because his BABIP is a ridiculous .420, but his line drive rate is up and, after popping up 5% of the time last season he has yet to hit a single infield pop-up this year, one of just four players who hasn't this season - a key thing for a speedy player.  Simply put, he identified his weaknesses, worked to fix them, and it's worked.  It's actually really cool, and although it's not at the Jose Bautista revamped his swing and reinvented himself level, I still think he deserves a ton of credit.

HONORABLE MENTION:  Andrew McCutchen.

3.  James McDonald.  McDonald has always been a nondescript pitcher.  He was drafted in the 11th round by the Dodgers in 2002 and then traded to Pittsburgh in 2010 in the Octavio Dotel deal.  Whether with LA or the Pirates he's basically been the definition of league average.  Now, suddenly, he like, gets it.  His strikeouts are up, homers and walks are down, and he's holding opponents to a batting average under .200.  Sure he's getting a bit lucky, but he's also got a wicked curveball that, according to fangraphs pitch values metrics, ranks alongside such noted curvesmiths as Justin Verlander, A.J. Burnett, and Stephen Strasburg . Not too shabby.  He probably can't keep up at quite this pace, but for now he's first in the league in fewest hits allowed per nine and 3rd in ERA, and a big reason why the Pirates are actually in first place.  Well I suppose Andrew McCutchen is really the biggest reason, but McDonald is on that list there somewhere.  Near the top, too.  Like, way ahead of that Garrett Jones.

HONORABLE MENTION:  Jason Hammel.

4.  Carlos Ruiz.  If you're like me, you just assumed Carlos Ruiz was just some big dumb fat catcher who couldn't hit, and before this year you'd have been correct.  He always had a good batting eye, with more walks than strikeouts in his career and a career OBP nearly 100 points higher than his career batting average, but that batting average was just .265 coming into this season.  This year, however, he's been more aggressive at the plate and has stopped hitting so many flyballs and pop-ups, and it's resulted in a huge increase in average (hitting .350) and a monster increase in power (ISO of .237 over double last season's number),  and he's already surpassed last year's totals in HRs and RBI.  Like most jump-ups like this he's had quite a bit of luck on his side this year, but it doesn't look completely fluky, and Ruiz has taken himself from journeymen to all-star by being more aggressive.  Just think what that could do for Joe Mauer.  Just kidding, I think the real problem is the chicken arms.

HONORABLE MENTION:  Yadier Molina.

5.  Josh Reddick.  No matter what you think of Billy Beane, and there's no doubt he's a pretty divisive figure, one thing you have to give him credit for is realizing that saves are more a product of opportunity and environment than skill and constantly shipping out his closers for prospects.  He's traded Billy Koch, Billy Taylor, and Huston Street, and this offseason he traded Andrew Bailey to the Red Sox for a couple of minor league dorks and Reddick, who I'm guessing the Sox figured they didn't need with studs who never get hurt like Carl Crawford and Jacoby Welker running around in the outfield.  Well, Reddick has been absolutely mashing this year, to the tune of 20 homers (8th in the AL), 37 extra-base hits (10th), and an ISO that ranks 12th.  He'll never hit for a super high average, but he can probably be a Josh Willingham type for them, except he leads the team in average, homers, rbi, hits, OBP, doubles, runs, walks, slugging, and OPS and would lead most teams in triples with four but Jemile Weeks has five, and he's under team control until 2017.  So again, no matter what you think about Beane, this was a fucking slam dunk of a win on this trade, especially since Bailey hasn't pitched this year.  And if you're wondering how the A's can manage after shipping off their closer the guy currently manning the role, Ryan Cook, has a WHIP of 0.91, ERA of 1.46, and just made the all-star team.  In other words, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TRADE MATT ASSHOLE CAPPS.

HONORABLE MENTION:  Edwin Encarnacion.


WHO SUCKED

1.  Ricky Romero.  Through the first 3 years of his career Romero looked like a future star for the Blue Jays.  His ERA got beater in each of his three seasons, with his strikeouts rising and WHIP falling, culminating in a 10th place finish in Cy Young voting last season after going 15-11 with a 2.92 ERA.  Everything looked like he was ready to become a true ace this year.  But yeah, that didn't even come close to happening.  Rather than taking the next step forward he's taken two giant leaps back, and goes into the break with an ERA of 5.22, which is nearly double his ERA from last season, and for those who are true nerds his FIP and xFIP are significantly higher than last year as well.  And this isn't someone who started poorly and is trying to claw his way back, he's been bad throughout the year.  His first start of the season ended with his ERA at 7.20 and in his last six starts his ERA is over 8.00.  His Ks are down, his walks are way up, and he's getting laced around the park with a Line Drive rate far higher than either last year or his career number.  The Blue Jays needed dudes to really step up if they were going to legitimately compete in the AL East - Brandon Morrow and Edwin Encarnacion did, but Ricky Romero and his family is a dick.

DISHONORABLE MENTION:  Justin Masterson.

2.  Detroit Tigers.  I can't remember a team being so anointed as easy division champ getting off to such a horrible start, and seeing as we're halfway through the season this may be approaching trend rather than mirage territory.  And their studs are doing what they're supposed to; Cabrera and Fielder and hitting well, Austin Jackson (see above) is having a great season, and Justin Verlander has been just as good this year as last year when he won both the Cy Young and MVP awards.  It's just everyone else who has been horrible.  They actually rank middle of the pack in both Runs Scored and Runs Allowed in the AL, but mainly that's because of those good players doing good stuff.  The rest of the rotation has been terrible (although they'd all be aces on the Twins, fyi) with Scherzer unable to take the next step in his development and Fister unable to replicate his success at the end of last season, and they have the worst hitting 2b and RF stats in the league and are in the bottom five in LF and SS as well.  Plus, what everyone said would be their biggest issue - defense - has been.  They rank dead last in Ultimate Zone Rating in the majors.  All it really means is they're going to throw money and prospects around and pick up guys like Marco Scutaro and Shane Victorino and suddenly end up in great shape.  God I hate these guys.  But I'd still much rather see them win than the god damn White Sox.

DISHONORABLE MENTION:  Philadelphia Phillies.

3.  Justin Upton.  Upton is another guy who looked like he was about to become a super star after a monster 2011 for the D-Backs that landed him in 4th place in the MVP voting.  His average was up, his strikeouts were down, he was walking more, and his power had jumped through the roof.  After a 30/20 season, and based on his physical tools, it looked like Upton was going to fulfill the potential that his brother B.J. still hadn't.  Not so fast, because instead he completely lost all power and is once again striking out a ton.  He has just 7 home runs this year after 31 last season, and isn't hitting any doubles either.  His power numbers (specifically ISO), which was in Miguel Cabrera/Albert Pujols tier last season has dropped to where he's more in the Denard Span/Marco Scutaro grouping - gross.  He's gone from top 4 in the NL MVP to where he'd probably finish seventh or eighth on his own team.  Also I drafted him in the first round of our fantasy draft, and he's OPSing just slightly better than Drew Butera.  My bad, $nake.

DISHONORABLE MENTION:  Albert Pujols.

4.  Dan Haren.  It always boggles my mind when an established "star" pitcher suddenly runs of the rails and just gets lit up night after night.  Obviously Lincecum is the biggest example of this, but Haren is right there and right now both his WHIP and ERA would be career worsts.  He has had a little bit of bad luck but mostly he's just getting raked, particularly in the home run category where his 16 allowed are the 8th worst in the AL and almost match his total from last season of 20.  The slightly high BABIP and giant jump in HR/FB rate say this is a fluke, but he's also lost more than a mile per hour off his fastball from last season and at the same time is relying on it more often, and batters are chasing less often as well.  All this tells me I'd be very, very nervous right now if I was hooked into him long-term, but luckily for the Angels they can buy him out next year for 3.5 million if he continues to suck.  At which point somebody is going to end up giving him something like 5 years & $50 million and then we'll all be like hey look it's Barry Zito.

DISHONORABLE MENTION:  Jon Lester.

5.  Kansas City Royals.  I'm going to shoot myself in the face for buying into this crap and betting Snacks $50 they'd win a division title by 2014, because once again, shocker, the Royals suck ass and literally the only positive thing you can say about their season is at least they aren't the Twins (or Mariners, Cubs, Phillies, Astros, Padres, or Rockies).  When does all this talent come together?  Eric Hosmer is hitting .231, somehow Eric Gordon and Jeff Francoeur are still prominently involved, and supposed future building blocks like Lorenzo Cain and Johnny Giavotella are struggling to hit around the mendoza line when they aren't down in AAA.  And Humberto Quintero has 144 plate appearances for them for christ's sake, so they might want to get that position figured out as well.  And don't even get me started on the pitching, because good god.  The two guys with the most innings pitched this year, Luke Hochevar and Bruce Chen, are two of the most hittable pitchers in the history of baseball, and clown shoes like Luis Mendoza, Vin Mazzaro, and Everett Teaford have been fixtures in the rotation this year.  I almost feel stupid for buying that KC hat, because I hate feeling like I've been duped.  Prove me wrong, kids, prove me wrong.

DISHONORABLE MENTION:  Miami Marlins.


I'm sure I missed a billion things.  Sue me.

Six Very Important Things from Last Night - 5/17/2012

Maybe this will get me posting more often.  Be careful what you wish for.

1.  The Twins beat the Tigers today, which would be newsworthy all on its own, but even more shocking is that gives them two straight wins over the Tigers (just the second winning streak of the entire season) and since this was just a 2-game series that means the Twins just swept the preseason division favorite, even if they are two games under .500.  Even more shocking is they did it with Blackburn and P.J. Walters (who?) pitching the two games.  Blackburn sucked as expected and is now on the DL, but the Twins actually decided to hit for once with a couple of homers (Dozier & Plouffe) and six doubles, managing to score 11 runs which I have to assume is a season high, to pull out the win.  Then today Mr. Walters goes all no-hittery through the first four innings en route to a very nice game, picking up his second major league win and lowering his career ERA to a shade under seven.  Still, it's a two game win streak against a supposed good team.  Just 14 more to go to get to .500.  We can do this.

2.  It was a shitty day in daytime baseball if you were an ace-type pitcher or took the under on total runs scored today.  Mat Latos got knocked around by the Mets and only managed 5 innings, C.J. Wilson couldn't find the plate and walked six without getting out of the fourth, Matt Cain got knocked around pretty good by the Cards, while Adam Wainwright showed once again that he's all kinds of not back from his injury that made him miss all last season whatever it was.  Maybe this isn't really all that newsworthy but it matters to me because I took the god damn under on total runs which of course didn't cash because I'm on one of the all-time cold streaks, my friends.  It's enough to make me quit gambling if that wouldn't mean my life would be cold and empty.

3. The Pacers completely rolled the Heat 94-75, and you know me and I hate jumping to conclusions or throwing out opinions with little to back them up, but I think this is over, dudes.  Here's why.  First, that one game the Heat lost earlier they had a chance to tie and Lebron didn't take the shot (of course) and Wade didn't take the shot but Mario Chalmers took the shot.  And I like Chalmers and everything especially for when he pissed on John Calipari's dreams that one year, but come on.  Then tonight Lebron scores 22, which sounds like a slightly down game, but then you realize that only 7 of those came in the second half, Wade scored just five points on 2-13 shooting, and Chalmers was the team's leading scorer with 25.  Plus, here's stiff Roy Hibberts pt/rebs in the 3 games:  17/11, 8/11, 19/18.  Roy fucking Hibbert!  Does any of this sound like a team who has its shit together?  It's over.  I'm guessing sportsbooks will still have the Pacers only at like -150 or so to win the series or maybe even better - jump on it.

4.  The Colonial Athletic Conference is losing everybody now that Old Dominion has announced it is leaving for Conference USA.  First VCU bolted to join Butler in the A-10 and now ODU is taking off, and I'd be stunned if George Mason didn't join VCU in the next few days which means the three biggest basketball powers in the CAA are all leaving.  Apparently CAA is going to try to bring in Davidson and Charleston out of the SoCon and Boston out of the America East, but with ODU, VCU, and GMU (I'm assuming) all gone I'm not so sure leaving the SoCon would even be a step up for Davidson and Charleston (although it clearly would be for BU).  I assume at some point all this conference realignment will stop and it better stop soon because at the rate I drink alcohol my brain cells are getting very close to not being able to keep up with all this.

5.  Toronto's Brett Lawrie dropped his appeal of his four-game suspension for losing his mind on an umpire, and it's probably a good idea because look at this shit:


In response, I've prepared this video:


6.  Happy Birthday to Mrs. WWWWWWW.  I know you're lucky to have me, but what you probably don't realize is that I'm super lucky to have you.  Mostly because you're so hot.  Happy birthday, baby.  Way to always keep it classy:

American League Preview

Now that the constant threat of legal action has died down (go to this post and scroll down to the comments) and my big presentation at work went off without a hitch today (which had me working 12+ hours both the last two days, which would be why I haven't put up any posts) I have decided to buck up, toughen up, and get through it and give you people the American League preview you so richly deserve - mostly because I said I'd have it up something like a week ago. 

Now yes, there have been some games played and you could say I am cheating, but I swear to you I already have the teams written down in order and I promise I won't change it.  You'll just have to believe me, but I'm telling the truth or I'm not a Schilling's uncle.


AMERICAN LEAGUE EAST

1. NEW YORK YANKEES.  This team is getting older than dirt, or is already older than dirt with Brett Gardner and Robinson Cano the only starters under 30 and nobody under 28, but I think they have one more run in them, particularly with a revamped pitching staff.  Of course, the Michael Pineda thing is a bit troubling since he was so freaking good last year and I'm all confused about how bad he could have been this Spring to fall out of the rotation, but even if somehow the probably best rookie pitcher of our generation is out of commission or goes all Joe Charboneau just adding Kuroda and Hughes to that rotation is a major upgrade.  Of course, any or all of Jeter, A-Rod, Rivera, or Ibanez could suddenly be done, Granderson and the whole bullpen are probably due to regress, and Texeira has been trending downward.  They could conceivably fall off a cliff this year, but I don't think that happens until next season.

2.  TAMPA RAYS.  Wade Davis didn't make the Rays rotation, and would be the unquestioned ace of the Twins.  Alex Cobb didn't make the roster, and he'd be considered a future ace for the Twins.  So yeah, pitching-pitching-pitching.  It's the way to win, but the Rays do it better than anybody else and can also acquire a lot of great young talent in the lineup.  Add to that a front office who recognizes the team's needs and knows how to go and get what they need on the cheap and that's how Tampa can contend in the AL East despite a minuscule payroll (for the division).  Need some left-handed power?  Sign Carlos Pena (1 yr/$7M).  Looking for a utility infielder with a specific skill (crushing lefties)?  Sign Jeff Keppinger (1 yr/$1.5M and a far, far, far better signing than Jayme Carroll).  Luke Scott, Jose Molina, Fernando Rodney, and even Kyle Farnsworth fit that same type of mold.  I don't want to just go ahead and give out virtual HJs here, but the Rays ability to both find, draft, and develop talent along with their free agent acumen should be what every GM studies. 

3.  BOSTON RED SOX.  There are a million reasons to not believe in the Red Sox this year, and none of them have to do with friend chicken or beer which is the stupidest, media-drivenest story since the supposed Moon Landing (YOU CAN SEE THE FLAG WAVE IN THE BREEZE PEOPLE!).  You can look at the rotation where starter #3 is talented but injury-plauged Clay Buchholz, #4 is a converted middle reliever (Daniel Bard), and #5 is some dude nobody's ever heard of.  Or you can look at the bullpen, where Alfredo Aceves, a jack of all trades type, is being pushed into closing.  Or you can take a look at the lineup and see mediocrity in an awful lot of spots (Cody Ross, Ryan Sweeney, Mike Aviles, and Jarrod Saltalamacchia) and really, this Sox team just isn't very good, and might finish as low as fourth.  My favorite part is how they traded both their starting shortstop (Marco Scutaro) and back-up and up-and-comer (Jed Lowrie) to get a middle of the road prospect and a middle reliever and are now stuck with Aviles until Jose Iglesias is ready, which may never happen because he can't hit (.235 with a grand total of 10 extra-base hits at AAA last year).  And thank god.  The Red Sox can go back to sucking in a hurry please, I'm sick of the bandwagon douche-tards.

4.  TORONTO BLUE JAYS.  In any other division I'd be calling the BJs (ha ha BJ) my sleeper team and singing their praises, but the AL East just isn't fair, no matter what the Jays do.  They have two guys who could jump up into Cy Young territory and it wouldn't shock me in Ricky Romero and Brandon Morrow, a future young stud pitcher in Kyle Drabek, the biggest home run hitter in the game today in Jose Bautista, and a lot of good young talent around him (Brett Lawrie, J.P. Arencibia, Yunel Escobar) with some reclamation cases in Colby Rasmus and Adam Lind who, if they get it turned around, could decide this thing.  I love this team.  If they can find a good trade for Adam Snider (say, an SP or a decent reliever, maybe a 2b or lf) they could jump up and finish in third.  Seriously it's totally not fair to be in this division.  It's like Hitler or something.

5.  BALTIMORE ORIOLES.  I can't decide if I think the Orioles are finally moving down the right path or if they're perpetually effed, because right as Adam Jones, Matt Wieters, Nick Markakis, and Robert Andino are starting to come into their own and mesh with J.J. Hardy and Mark Reynolds to give the O's a good offense their pitching consists of mediocre prospects, failed prospects, mediocre journeymen, and a bullpen full of castoffs.  Plus their current 1B, Chris Davis, is one of the only players around who can match Mark Reynolds (the O's 3B) when it comes to striking out only he comes without all the hitting and stuff.  Same shitty fielding though.



AMERICAN LEAGUE CENTRAL


1.  DETROIT TIGERS.  Do you remember there ever being a more prohibitive favorite in any division ever?  I'm sure it's happened, but I can't recall anything off the top of my head.  That lineup is absolutely loaded and they have Justin Verlander and that's all you need in the central.  I like how people are all like "their defense is terrible" and "after Verlander there are too many questions in the rotation" and "no way Valverde can go 49-49 again."  None of that even matters.  As long as Valverde is competent and the rest of the rotation approaches average this team will win 90 games, which is all it will take in the central this year.  If they want to contend for the World Series they'll need to do more than that and somebody like Fister or Scherzer will need to take a nice little leap forward, but they can sleepwalk to the central crown.

2.  CLEVELAND INDIANS.  Their contending status took a bit of a hit when Grady Sizemore hit the 60-day DL (SHOCKER!), and struggling prospect Matt LaPorta and promising prospect Lonnie Chisenhall were both sent to the minors, but both will be back soon since they're both crushing AAA pitching so far and you'd have to be an idiot to depend on Sizemore, so I think they'll be just fine.  Outside of SP Justin Masterson, SS Asdrubel Cabrera, and C Carlos Santana it's really a pretty mediocre team unless Ubaldo gets back to his unhittable form which is pretty unlikely at this point, but luckily for them the AL Central is still the NFC West of the baseballers so they look good for second, and being something like 10 games out of that second wild card spot.


3.  KANSAS CITY ROYALS.  Not yet.  Not quite yet.  The pitching is quite there yet to keep pace with the hitters, because pretty much the hitting has arrived.  Gordon-Cain-Moustakas-Hosmer-Butler are all the future and are all primed to have big years.  On the pitching side, the Sanchez trade was the right move, Hochevar needs (and gets) another shot, and Duffy, Mendoza, Collins, and Crow are the future, I just don't know if they're the present.  The loss of Soria is a killer, not necessarily because of his closing ability, but because he'd be a huge chip for them to trade in order to acquire a top line starter because that's what they need and either Collins or Crow could close with little issue, particularly Collins because I think, and I could be remembering wrong, that Crow could/should be a starter down the line.  Things are progressing in Kansas City.  They need to break .500 this year and then improve the starting pitching for next year and they could make a playoff run.  Anything less and this whole rebuilding process was a waste of time and I'll burn my KC hat.

4.  MINNESOTA TWINS.  If Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau get back to normal it's conceivable the Twins could get up to second here, but there is a zero percent chance they can possibly win the division with that pitching staff, especially with Moon Shot Scott out for the year.  I don't know what's more embarrassing, trotting out a rotation of Liriano-Pavano-Marquis-Blackburn-Swarzak, or hoping/waiting/expecting, for the 25th year in a row, that Francisco Liriano is going to become an ace.  Did you know his career ERA+ is 100, meaning in his career based on ERA he's been completely average?  And that includes that insane 2006, which gives you an idea of how awful he's been since then.  FUN FACT:  Since 2009, seventeen pitchers have given up at least 215 hits in a year in a season in which they struck out less than 115 batters as well - three of them (Nick Blackburn, Jason Marquis, and Carl Pavano).  They also have 2 of the last 3 league leaders in hits allowed (Blackburn 2009, Pavano 2011).  All this AND Matt Capps as your closer?  We're truly blessed.

5.  CHICAGO WHITE SOX.  Trainwreck city and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.  They have the shitty contracts (Adam Dunn - 3 yrs, $44 million left, Alex Rios 3 yrs, $35 mill left, John Danks - 5 yrs, $65 million and signed this offseason for some strange reason), the broken farm system (ranked 30 out of 30 by Keith Law and he says "they aren't particularly close to 29"), a mid-tier pick + only one supplemental pick in the upcoming draft, and their best player is 36 years old, and their "young" up and coming infield is made up of three guys who each hit worse than the league average last year.  Their only decent asset which might net them any prospects is Jake Peavy, but he's only got one year left on his deal and he's making $22 million in that year.  He's going to have to pitch almost exactly like the Peavy of old to get any interest, and I still don't know if anybody would be willing to pay that kind of money plus give up decent prospects.  Basically they have no young future stars, no contract flexibility, and no way to add prospects.  Freaking awesome.  I love it.


AMERICAN LEAGUE WEST

1.  LOS ANGELES ANGELS.  Have you looked at this pitching staff?  Jered Weaver, Dan Haren, and C.J. Wilson?  Their #4 is Ervin Santana, whose ERA last year was 3.38 which, by the by, is better than any Twins' pitcher has had since 2007 and if you don't count Johan Santana it's better than any Twins' pitcher since Joe Mays in 2001.  And he's there #4.  Oh, and in case you missed it they also signed Albert Pujols, the best hitter of this generation.  It's a bit of a negative that their three best hitters all play the same position, their infield is full of mediocrity, and two of their starting outfielders are overpaid and semi-washed up, but would you look at that pitching?  I'd look again but I'm already spent.

2.  TEXAS RANGERS.  Well they lost C.J. Wilson and that's a negative, and overall there are a lot of questions with the pitching.  Can Neftali Feliz transition into a starter's role after being a shutdown closer?  Why would a contending team even consider installing Joe Nathan as their closer?  What happened to Alexi Ogando at the end of last year?  What really happened at the Alamo?  Will Yu Darvish be more Hideo Nomo (when he was good) or more Hideki Irabu?  Can a team with Derek Holland and Colby Lewis at the top of the rotation win anything?  I don't know, but what I do know is that just writing a bunch of questions without answering them is really lazy writing, and I don't want to do that, so their lineup is really good.

3.  SEATTLE MARINERS.  I want this team to be good so bad.  I love Dustin Ackley more than I love my kids, and I might love Justin Smoak more than him.  I loved Michael Pineda but can learn to love Jesus Montero now that he's over here, and that gives them three solid hitter prospects, and they still have King Felix at the front of that rotation and you could easily argue he's the best pitcher in the league.  It's a good base, but there are lots of other issues here, particularly owing Chone Figgins $26 million over the last three years and having basically nothing left in the rotation behind Felix after trading Pineda and Doug Fister last season.  If Seattle is really smart, they trade away Ichiro (contract up after this season) and Felix (2 years after this one) and acquire prospects, although perhaps getting rid of Ichiro isn't a smart decision from an attendance/money perspective.  I dunno.  But they aren't in good shape now and they should probably do something about it.  Like me and the treadmill.


4.  OAKLAND ATHLETICS.  At some point you gotta make a move, right?  I'm starting to wonder if Oakland hasn't become some kind of prospect turnover factory where they do nothing but acquire and develop prospects and then trade them away when they begin to develop for more young people.  It's like some kind of kiddie labor ring - like Nike or Apple - but without the massive prophets.  The good news is they have a top 10 minor leagues system after shipping off Trevor Cahill, Gio Gonzalez, and Andrew Bailey and very little in the way of contract obligations with only something like $28 million committed next year, $12 million the next year, and just one player signed for 2015 (Yeonis Cespedes) so if they ever do get that move to San Jose approved and it does increase revenue as much as they're saying they'll have the flexibility somehow become a major player and oh yeah now I see what the plan is, but it's not really a a winning plan for right now.  I really hope they end up with that stadium or whatever.


PREDICTIONS FOR THE YEAR:
NL WEST:  Arizona
NL CENTRAL: Cincinnati
NL EAST:  Philadelphia
NL Wildcards:  Miami, Milwaukee

AL WEST:  Los Angeles
AL CENTRAL:  Detroit
AL EAST:  New York
AL Wildcards:  Tampa, Texas

NL Pennant:  Arizona over Philly
AL Pennant:  Detroit over Tampa
Series:  Detroit over Arizona

NL MVP: Justin Upton, Arizona
NL Cy Young:  Clayton Kershaw, Los Angeles (if they don't shutdown Strasburg for innings he wins this)
NL rookie of the year:  Zack Cozart, Cincinnati

AL MVP: Miguel Cabrera, Detroit
AL Cy Young:  Justin Verlander, Detroit
AL Rookie of the Year:  Matt Moore, Tampa

2012 MLB Preview - National League

 Well what a fantastic end to the college basketball season.  Who wouldn't be rooting for Kentucky?  The plucky underdog who does things the right way with a no nonsense coach who won't stand for shenanigans and teaches the fundamentals.  Just awesome shit right there.  So as sad as it makes me, it's time to move on to super awesome baseball which starts tomorrow, and I for one have a giant boner.

I love baseball.  I love everything about it and I can't wait for it to start.  I have a stupid amount of money down on baseball future bets and I can't get enough of  baseball betting here, specifically a ton of team OVER/UNDER Wins. I'll be pointing those out, along with some player props where appropriate.  Or not appropriate.   Just follow me and you'll be ok.

Going with the National League today and we'll have the AL up in the next day or so.  And by we I mean me, of course, because I'm some kind of god damn nation of one here.  I should have my own flag.  And probably like, a constitution.  Somewhere in the Bill of Rights I'm going to put something about boobs, but I'm not sure what because I didn't go to law school.  I'll get back to you.  Anyway, here:

NATIONAL LEAGUE EAST:

1. PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES.  Roy Halladay-Cliff Lee-Cole Hamels.  That shit ain't fair.  And pitcher #4 is Vance Worley, who finished third in the NL rookie of the year balloting last year.  Yeah, there are a million questions about the offense - will Chase Utley ever play again, will Ryan Howard be able to hit after achilles surgery, is Placido Polanco toast - but how can you possibly bet against that pitching, particularly with Jonathan Papelbon cleaning up shop in the ninth.  Yeah, Papelbon is a spaz and an asstard and pretty much a douche in every way but the dude can pitch one inning as well as anybody.  He might save 60.  Yet I'm laying off his OVER/UNDER 37 line because I think he'll probably get over it but I'd rather bet on Jacoby fucking Welkerbury or Charles Manson than bet on Dickboner.

2.  MIAMI MARLINS.  Well the Marlins haven't been relevant in a while, so it looks like it's time for the semi-regular open up your wallets and spend like crazy time the Marlins are known for.  I know this time it's because of the move to Miami and the new stadium and the new uniforms and all that jazz rather than a random whim, but it's still crazy how this happens all the time.  Will Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle, and Heath Bell be enough to put them over the top?  No, don't be stupid, but they could be a Wild Card team if everything breaks right.  You know, if Josh Johnson is actually healthy, Carlos Zambrano is sane, Mike Stanton is as much of a stud as I think he is, and Logan Morrison takes that next step.  Plus Reyes and Hanley staying healthy and stuff.  Too many ifs here to play that 85 wins number either way, but this is going to be a very interesting team.

3.  WASHINGTON NATIONALS.  Pretty much this year's happy fun sleeper squad because of the return of the immortal Stephen Strasburg (OVER 11.5 WINS = lock), the emergence of Michael Morse, and a trade for Gio Gonzalez.  What?  That's the whole reason we're hearing so much National buzz?  It's because of all the hoopla over this dink Bryce Harper,  isn't it?  Yeah, I know we're all Brian Harper fans because of what he did for the Twins and we should be loyal to his son and all, but between the douchy behavior (just do a google search, there are 16,000 results for Bryce Harper douchebag) and the national handies he gets every five minutes from the media I'm done with him. 

4.  ATLANTA BRAVES.  There's a lot of reasons for optimism in Atlanta following a pretty monumental collapse at the end of last season.  Jason Heyward and Freddie Freeman, the last two NL Rookie-of-the-Year runner ups, are only 22 as is brand new starting shortstop Tyler Pastornicky and Atlanta is just loaded with young arms in the minors.  The only problem is that in a division where almost everyone is improving the Braves are built for the future and not the present.  Look at that rotation - Tim Hudson is older than your mom and coming off back surgery, Tommy Hanson is coming off shoulder surgery, and Jair Jurrjens was unable to finish out yet another season with knee problems.  Not to mention Chipper Jones is still considered an important piece to their puzzle.  So yeah, I'm gonna hit that under 86.5 wins, and I'm gonna hit it hard.  Like it was your mom.

5.  NEW YORK METS.  Jesus this team is a mess.  The only good things on this entire roster are 1b Ike Davis, assuming he returns from injury and can hit again, and David Wright who needs to be traded for some prospects or something but knowing the Mets they'll screw it up.  I guess you could put the hopeful return of Johan Santana from injury, but even if he's 80% of what he used to be his best use is as a trade piece because this team isn't going anywhere and might battle the Astros for worst team in the NL.  Although it won't be much of a battle because no matter how bad the Mets are they can't be worse than Houston.  Oh, and nice Jason Bay signing.  Although as Twins' fans we probably shouldn't joke too much because we could be looking at the future of Joe Mauer and the Twins.  Oh crap.


NATIONAL LEAGUE CENTRAL

1.  CINCINNATI REDS.  Love this team, and the OVER 86.5 wins is one of the first bets I made when the numbers were released.  Their rotation is so good they were able to trade Travis Wood, who most teams would covet like a homeless dude covets his weird ass tin cup he won't let anyone see, for one of the best relievers in the game in Sean Marshall.  They also have an awesome trio in Brandon Phillips, Jay Bruce, and Joey Votto and a also bring in plenty of youth with elite prospects Zack Cozart (SS) and Devin Mesoraco (C) getting a chance to start this year.  Drew Stubbs and his 205 Ks with only 15 HRs pisses me off and the whole Ryan Madson out for the year thing is a kick in the nuts (especially since they just signed Alfredo Simon) but something tells me if Marshall doesn't work out you just go ahead and hand that ball to Aroldis Chapman and his 100mph fastball and 93mph slider and everything will workout just fine.


2.  MILWAUKEE BREWERS.  I wanted to pick them lower than this because I hate everything that's from Wisconsin including cheaters like Ryan Braun, but even without Fielder this should be a pretty good team.  Rickie Weeks, Corey Hart, Roid-guy, Aramis Ramirez, and Clay Mathews form a pretty solid offense, and their top-3 in the rotation is still stellar with Greinke-Gallardo-Marcum.  Throw-in John Axford's sweet stache and K-Rod still setting up for him and they're in pretty decent shape.  If Taylor Green can become a starter at short and someone in the bullpen gives them the confidence to trade K-Rod for some help they could be all wildcardy.  Plus it wouldn't hurt to just go ahead and play Carlos Gomez already.  I mean jeez, enough with the racism, am I right?


3.  ST. LOUIS CARDINALS.  I took the over on their wins at 84.5, but it doesn't mean I'm exactly sold on them because their two best offensive players (Matt Holliday, Lance Berkman) are as fragile as a lamp of some slutty ladies leg.  And I don't necessarily mean healthwise, just they both always seem to be about 1% away from falling off a cliff into shitty old person land.  It hasn't happened yet, but part of me kind of has this feeling that Pujols was the duct tape that held those two together - we shall see.  In any case they have enough starting pitching to make them relevant no matter what so that's good, and if Carlos Beltran is healthy and David Freese is actually good they'll fly past that 84.5 and this prediction.  Also nice job paying Yadier Molina all the money you refused to give Pujols.  Nice priorities.  Yeah this one time Christina Aguilera wanted to sleep with me but I couldn't because I had to get an oil change that day.

4.  PITTSBURGH PIRATES.  I really wanted to pick them higher (and took them OVER 73.5 wins) but holy mother have you seen this rotation?  I guess it was obvious when Erik Bedard was announced as the opening day pitcher, but looking at it all at once is like whoa - Bedard, James McDonald, Jeff Karstens, Kevin Correia, and Brad Lincoln?  I mean, I'm not going to say this often but I'd rather have the Twins' pitching staff.  Barely.  I kind of like what they're doing with their hitters - Andrew McCutchen and Neil Walker are studs while Jose Tabata, Alex Presley, and Pedro Alvarez have promise but the pitching is like Buzz's girlfriend - woof. 

5.  CHICAGO CUBS.  Year one of the Theo ERA and it's not going to be pretty, even if it's not his fault because mostly the talent level here is poop and there's more bad contracts than there are concussions in the Twins' clubhouse.  Looking at their squad the only guys who you'd build a team with are Starlin Castro and Travis Wood, although you can't 100% give up on Geovany Soto or Ian Stewart just yet.  Still, it's clear they have a plan, shedding Carlos Zambrano and acquiring stud prospect Anthony Rizzo from San Diego.  Right now they've filled the roster with fill-in types who are at least cheap (David DeJesus, Chris Volstad, Paul Maholm) but it's going to be a long road - at least until they can figure out how to get rid of Soriano's chlamydia of a contract.

6.  HOUSTON ASTROS.  Easiest call of the year, because the Astros are rebuilding this year except they're doing it with a shitty farm system so that's probably not good.  Let me save you some time - here are the players you know on the Astros:  Brett Myers, Carlos Lee.  If you're a big baseball nerd (or a degenerate gambler) you might also know Wandy Rodriguez, J.A. Happ, Bud Norris, Jack Cust (hi Bear) and Jed Lowrie.  That's it though.  That's the whole list.  Also nobody, not even sportsbooks, pay attention to Houston because last year they kept offering props on Chris Johnson for over a week after he'd been sent down to the minors and they offered props for 3-4 days on Michael Bourn as an Astro after he'd been traded to Atlanta.  No, you have a gambling problem.



NATIONAL LEAGUE WEST

1.  ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS.  I'll admit this is the division I know the least about due to it being all Pacific Time Zoney and National League-ish, but I don't see any way the D-Backs don't run away with this (which is why I'm on the OVER 86 wins).  Actually I guess I can see how they don't run away with it because their rotation is made up of two guys who were traded for Edwin Jackson (Ian Kennedy and Daniel Hudson whose middle name is Claiborne lol), a prospect who may have lost it (Trevor Cahill), one of the worst starters to always have a job (Joe Saunders), and a guy with a weird as hell delivery that could Hideo Nomo on him at any moment (Josh Collmenter).  Still they have a really good lineup and bullpen and they have Justin Upton who is who you should be praying to your precious baby jesus that Aaron Hicks one day becomes.  Stupid jesus will probably give us like, Felix Pie.  Such a dick.

2.  LOS ANGELES DODGERS.  Things are looking up after people with money bought this team so they at least have a prayer of bringing in some talent if they need to make a push, but what I really love about this team is that they're probably the best NBA Jam type team in the league, and I mean the entire MLB.  Really, if you had to go one hitter and one pitcher can you do better than Clayton Kershaw and Matt Kemp?  The only other team who is even in contention is the Tigers with Miguel Cabrera and Justin Verlander, but the Dodgers are clearly the class of the NL.  Which is great because in case you missed it MLB is going to a 2-on-2 format this year.

3.  SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS.  How can I pick a team with a Lincecum/Cain/Bumgarner/Vogelsong start to the rotation third when I love pitching, you ask?  Well mostly because Aubrey Huff is still involved.  I don't know, I guess they should probably finish in 2nd but I just have a bad feeling here.  Lincecum is going to apparently shelve his slider (which was more effective than his fastball last year) and I'm just bored with Sandoval even though as I look him up it appears he was actually really god damn amazing last year.  Whatever.  I'm not interested in your stats nerd boy.  Baseball isn't played by computers so you can take your numbers and shove them up your ass while you sit there in your boxers in your mom's basement and cry yourself to sleep with your commodore 64 and World of Warcraft.  I know baseball.  I watch baseball.  And Sandoval is too fat.  FACT.

4.  COLORADO ROCKIES.  How can I pick a squad with Troy Tulowitzki - the white Cal Ripken - fourth?  I know, it's rough,, but do you remember the part of the words where I talked about the Pirates' rotation?  Well if that was Jaws 3 the Rockies' are bringing you Jaws 4 because they went ahead and traded for Jeremy god damn Guthrie and immediately made him the opening day starter which is more stupider than your face.  And then they gave Jamie Moyer a job which is cute and all but come on.  Unless Drew Pomeranz is all kinds of ready already this is going to be a brutal pitching team.  Rockies under 81.5 is total money because this is not a winning team.  If that's not enough for you, they signed Michael Cuddyer and still start decrepit Todd Helton who has trouble hitting it out of his backyard when he plays wiffleball with his kids who are probably in special ed. WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED?

5.  SAN DIEGO PADRES.  There are three teams that seem like they always need help (Padres, Royals, Pirates) which is actually not 100% true because the Padres have done stuff like win the division twice since 2005 and won 90 games just two years ago, but they see like they always need help.  And I bring that up because it's clear the Royals have a plan and it seems like the Pirates might have a plan, but I don't know what the Padres are doing.  If I look I can see a small few good players/rays of light - Yonder Alonso, Chase Headley (maybe), and Cory Luebke.  That's it.  Everyone else is either a Carlos Quentin/Orlando Hudson or a Dustin Moseley/Will Venable.  You know what I mean.

And there we are.  So we got the D-Backs, Phillies, and Reds with the Marlins and Cardinals as Wild Cards (yeah I know I picked the Brewers over the Cards, just swap 'em.  I'm not going to do everything for you, a-hole).  Let's give the pennant to the Reds.  AL preview coming whenever I write it.  Shooting for Thursday/Friday.

American League Central Preview

Another NCAA Tournament is almost over with my bracket in shreds, so just as naturally as girls starting to wear tank tops and short shorts my thoughts turn to baseball and those beloved sucks the Twins.  After last year's nightmare, can they compete this year in the Central?  The best way to know is to know your opponents, so here's what each of the AL Central squads did this offseason to change things up.


CHICAGO WHITE SOX
Adds:  OF Kosuke Fukudome, 1b Dan Johnson, RP Eric Stults
Deletes:  SP Mark Buehrle, RP Jason Frasor, OF Juan Pierre, OF Carlos Quentin, IF Omar Vizquel, RP Sergio Santos

The most confusing team in the division and, barring significant injuries to the others, probably the worst, the White Sox are pretty clearly in rebuilding mode this year.  Except when they aren't, like when they traded Santos, a young (28), near dominant closer (1.11 WHIP, 13 K/9ip, 30 saves), coming off a career year who is signed to a reasonable contract with club options through 2017.  They did get a decent prospect in return but there's no guarantee he ends up even close to what Santos already gives you.  A puzzling move, but a clear sign that the Sox are full on rebuilding.  At some point this season the fire sale will likely begin with Paul Konerko, Gavin Floyd, and Jesse Crain all likely to go.  They'd love to jettison Adam Dunn, Alex Rios, and Jake Peavy as well, but it's going to be a bitch trying to find somebody to take any of those contracts.

There are some good pieces to build upon here with 3b Brett Morel poised for a possible breakout season along with converted reliever Chris Sale who has absolutely filthy stuff and will try his hand in the rotation this year.  There are also a couple youngsters who will get first crack at starting in the outfield in Dayan Viciedo and Alejandro de Aza, but they better hope they're able to get a nice haul when they start trading players off because their farm system is in a complete shambles and they've got way too much money committed to way too many shitty players.  This could be the first in a long losing streak for the Sox, and I hope so because these assholes deserve it.

CLEVELAND INDIANSAdds:  RP Jeremy Accardo, 1b Casey Kotchman, 3b Andy LaRoche, OF Fred Lewis, SP Derek Lowe, RP Chris Ray, OF Felix Pie, OF Ryan Spillborghs, RP Dan Wheeler, RP Robinson Tejeda, SP Kevin Slowey
Deletes:  OF Travis Buck, OF Kosuke Fukudome, RP Chad Durbin, IF Adam Everett, RP Justin Germano, OF Austin Kearns, DH Jim Thome

I'm a big fan of what the Indians have done this year - of course I'd be an even bigger fan if Fausto Carmona wasn't in legal trouble and Grady Sizemore wasn't hurt for the 19th year in a row - but they've done some really nice things.  You'll notice they lost a lot of players from last year's roster, but you'll also notice they all suck outside of Thome, and if you take a look at what they're bringing in that's a really interesting group with a lot of upside.  Accardo, Ray, and Wheeler were all elite relievers at one point, and Spillborghs and Pie can help fill in for Sizemore, but the biggest prizes were Kotchman (who will start immediately) and Lowe (who becomes their #3 starter).

The most exciting part about the Indians is they have a chance to have the best young infield in all of baseball.  SS Asdrubel Cabrera is already elite and 2b Jason Kipnis and 3b Lonnie Chisenhall both sound like wieners but both have a chance to reach that tier as well, and C Carlos Santana is already one of the best baseball hitters in the game.  The guy really mucking things up is Matt LaPorta, who was the centerpiece of the package the Indians got from Milwaukee when they traded C.C. Sabathia, but instead of being a stud he's been a big time dud, failing to hit over .255 in any season with very little power.  Basically he's Joe Mauer without the batting average.  Or Nick Punto without the speed or fielding.  Real valuable player, is what I'm trying to say.

DETROIT TIGERS
Adds:  1b Prince Fielder, RP Octavio Dotel, C Gerald Laird
Deletes:  3b Wilson Betemit, 2b Carlos Guillen, OF Magglio Ordonez, SP Brad Penny, RP Ryan Perry, 2b Will Rhymes, RP Joel Zumaya

They didn't add much, but they added a ton at the same time.  You know about Fielder, and say what you want about the defense taking a hit with Miguel Cabrera back at the hot corner, but that is one hell of a 1-2 punch in the lineup.  That signing will get most of the press, but don't forget about Dotel.  He's been an elite level set-up guy for nearly a decade now and last season might have been his career best.  He's going to be the 7th inning guy next year, which means at the end of games (at least ones Verlander doesn't pitch) you'll be looking at Dotel (0.98 WHIP), Joaquin Benoit (1.05), and Jose Valverde (49-49 saves last year).  Shortened game indeed.

If you're looking for negatives, go ahead and latch on to the fact that one popular theory is that pitching and defense win championships, and that's where the Tigers have big questions.  Behind Verlander the rotation is a bunch of question marks (and there's no way Fister is that good again) and as long as Jacob Turner doesn't become a stud (and he might) there will be questions all season.  Plus of the 9 projected starters (assuming Fielder, Cabrera, and Delmoney all share time at DH) only Austin Jackson would be considered anything other than a terrible fielder (although Ryan Raburn is a good outfielder, he's slated to play 2b this year lololol).  So go ahead and latch on to that hope.  Although you're only kidding yourself because the Tigers will probably have this wrapped up by September 1.

KANSAS CITY ROYALS
Adds:  SS Yuniesky Betancourt, RP Jonathan Broxton, 3b Kevin Kouzmanoff, RP Jose Mijares, SP Jonathan Sanchez
Deletes:  OF Melky Cabrera, SP Jeff Francis, C Jason Kendall, RP Robinson Tejada

Well here we go.  This is where the Royals start to make their move.  All of the talk about their incredible minor league system and all the young talent they have starts to prove itself this year.  They've transferred most of it to the majors, and Billy Butler, Alex Gordon (finally), Alcides Escobar, and Eric Hosmer have proven themselves ready to go, while Mike Moustakas, Lorenzo Cain, Johnny Giavotella, and Salvador Perez are now in the majors and will get their shot to stick.  To compliment them KC is making the right moves, trading expendable parts (Melky Cabrera) to upgrade the starting pitching (Sanchez) and signing smart veterans to back-up the youngsters and add depth (Betancourt, Kouzmanoff) and upgrade an already promising bullpen (Mijares, Broxton).

That being said, they still aren't there yet but that's ok.  The starting pitching is still pretty poor at this point but help is still on the way (two top 5 prospects in the system could hit the bigs this year), and there are still a few more position players who aren't there yet but should be soon.  So although the Royals won't contend for the AL Central crown this year, they should take a nice step forward and be right around .500 if everything is going according to plan.  If not, all the idiots like Snacks can go ahead and put a notch in their belt, because the whole "it's still the Royals" and "potential doesn't win games" and "we've been hearing about the Royals' talent for years" arguments are actually valid.  And I'd really hate for this to be true because I loathe stupidity.

 MINNESOTA TWINS
Adds:  RP Jason Bulger, 3b Sean Burroughs, RP Jared Burton, IF Jayme Carroll, C Ryan Doumit, SP Jason Marquis, C J.R. Towles, OF Josh Willingham
Deletes:  OF Michael Cuddyer, OF Jason Kubel, RP Jose Mijares, RP Joe Nathan, OF Jason Repko, IF Matt Tolbert

The Twins lose more than anybody else in the division off last year's team with several main contributors from the good teams of the last few years taking off (including my favorite player ever Jason Kubel and my fake favorite player ever in Jason Repko) and that clearly shows they've recognized a need to rebuild and start over after last year's 99 loss debacle.  Problem.  You can't rebuild when you owe eleventy billion dollars to two guys who hardly ever play.

Really, we can analyze the signings to death, but everything is dependent on the health of Mauer and Morneau.  I mean, I like the Willingham signing, love the Doumit signing, and hate both the Capps and Marquis deals, but even if those all end up being home runs the team's going nowhere without Morneau and Mauer.  Say what you want about Parmelee (and I liked what I saw) in order to contend for the division they need Morneau.  Although even that might not even matter when you can't upgrade a pretty horrendous group of starting pitchers.  Marquis and Blackburn are going to get whacked around all year, Baker can't stay healthy, and I'm starting to think it's a bit of a fool's errand waiting for Liriano to put it all together - again.  Pavano is the only worthwhile one.  What the Twins need more than anything is to blow it up and start over, but they've hamstrung themselves and are now stuck in limbo.  Hurry, Miguel Sano.  Hurry.

About Last Night......10/13/2011

Is this a new feature?  Maybe. 

1.  Justin Verlander is on a whole different plane of existence than anybody else.  It's not that he pitched 8 innings in a game where the team's bullpen was essential empty (because Valverde and Benoit had pitched three straight days and everybody else sucks), and not even because he threw 133 pitches.  I can't decide what was more impressive - the way he clearly didn't have his best stuff early, but made the right pitches at the right time, got a little bit of luck, and, as much as I hate to use this word, gutted it out, or that walking off the mound after the 7th he was sitting at 123 pitches and you knew damn well he wasn't giving up the ball.  It didn't quite work out since he got an out and then gave up a single and a home run, but still it was pretty awesome.

Is this more Scott Baker, or Kevin Slowey?  Can't decide.

Honestly, what do you think would happen if a Twins pitcher threw over 130 pitches in a game?  I'm guessing Gardy and Anderson would shut him down for the next two weeks to look for signs of arm fatigue, even if he felt fine.  In the regular season this year starters threw over 120 pitches one-hundred thirty times - only 2 of those were Twins (Blacky, Liriano).  The last time a Twin hit the 130 pitch mark was Kenny Rogers in 2003 - since then 86 non-Twins have thrown over 130 in one game, including the great Livan Hernandez a mind-numbing 14 times. 

Look, I get it.  Not every pitcher is capable of that kind of performance, whether physically or mentally it's not something everybody can do.  Fine.  But every October you see it - whether it's Verlander, Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Curt Schilling, or Fatbathia, there are some truly magnificent pitching performances that come with their own aura.  And the Twins have babies, whether because of coaching or the pitcher's own limitations, and I'm just sick of it and I'm sick of all of you.  Maybe this post was a bad idea.  I need a drink.

SIDE NOTE:  The Twins' pitcher who holds the record for most pitches in a single game?  Willie freaking Banks with a mind-blowing 151 pitches in a game in 1993. 

Not long after this his arm fell completely off

I was going to write other stuff about other stuff too but then I got drunk forgot. 

Brew Crew/D-Backs Live Blog?

So here's the sitch.  Wife and kids have peaced out.  Wife is on her way with her mother to Colorado to visit her sister on what sounds like the world's longest road trip, especially when you have to stop in the middle of nowhere Nebraska to get your car checked out because it's overheating.  Kids are at my parents because they're retired and it makes little sense for me to drop them off before work and pick them up after for two days, so I'm on my own.  I just got done schooling my boys Theory and Lunny in hoop by raining Js and teaching class (no shtick, I was 3-0 in 21-hustle) and then we hit the local pub for a few beers.  Now I have nothing else to do so I'm going to watch the Brewers/D-Backs game.  Because what else am I gonna do?

-  Just poured myself a captain & coke.  Except we have a stupid fridge that we can't quite get the temp figured out on just right, so in order to add the coke I had to open three coke zeros and one diet coke to get the non-frozen parts out to make a full drink.  And this is like 60% captain here.  So that happened.

-  Bets for today's game:  Nyjer Morgan YES Hit, Miguel Montero YES Hit, Prince Fielder more total bases than Justin Upton.

-  And Morgan is not in the lineup because of that ass Carlos Gomez.  That was a guaranteed winner.  You guys remember when Snacks said that Gomez would eventually be a 30-30 guy?  He still has gotten there in his career.  He's still only 25 so it's not like it's over yet and he's definitely got 3 tools, it's just that the two he's missing are hitting and hitting.  I don't know, I feel saucy.  I'm going to predict a big day for Mr. Gomez.

-  Announcer guy:  Saunders has to pitch from behind in the count.  It's just how his offspeed stuff works better.  Wow holy crap I just looked it up because it sounded like an incredibly stupid thing to say and he's actually right.  His two best counts are 1-0 and 2-0, while his worst count is 0-2.  How fucked up is this guy?

-  Fuckin' Fielder.  Walks don't count as bases.

-  FYI - I assume he's gone in any leagues you're in, but Denarius Moore is about to destroy the NFL.  Fact.  Might be next year, might even be the year after that, but if you're in a keeper don't let him go.

-  I can't believe Willie Bloomquist is leading off for a playoff team.  That's like seeing Matt Tolbert lead off for a playoff team in a couple of years.  Bloomquist career OPS+ = 75, Tolbert 65.  Once you get under 90 it's pretty much the same thing.  Unless you're talking about Butera or Rivera, they're in a special class.  Not Ramos though.  He's basically the 6th best catcher in the league (M. Montero, McCann, Avila, Santana, Posey) and that's if he doesn't get better.  But hey, at least we have a completely average reliever.

-  Upton walks.  So we're even.

-  Montero base knock.  Looking good.  Oh also I have the Brewers to win fairly heavy, which is super awesome because Ryan Roberts, who is terrible at baseball, just hit a grand slam.  Nice pitch, Wolf.  Looked super Blackburny.

-  So somebody in the comments wanted me to talk about football.  Well what should we talk about?  The Gophers?  Why?  If you want Gopher talk you have The Daily Gopher and Still Got Hope?  I literally have nothing to say about the Gopher football program.  It's a mess.  I like what Kill is spilling, but Brewster left the team barren of talent and it shows.  Vikings?  Also terrible.  You really want me to rehash the whole "out in Ponder" bit?  Yeah, I think they should put him in, but on the other hand this paragraph has been excrutiatingly difficult to write so I'm just done.

-  Announcer guy just tried to make a Guns N Roses joke.  I don't get it.

-  I must be getting old.  It's 9:26 and I'm very tired and I got nothin'.  I don't know.  Go read another blog.

-  So this New Girl show, by the way, has turned terrible.  I recommended it on here based on the first episode and Zooey Deschanel's boneriffic cuteness, but holy crap has it taken a turn for the worst in the next 2 episodes.  Really been quite awful.  If it wasn't for zooey i would quit.

-  I think it's over folks.  I think I'm done with blogging.  I'm alone and drunk and there is baseball on and I just can't care.  It's been a good run.

-  Do you think when there's a single hit to Gomez and he just has to throw the ball in to second he gets pissed?  That just happened and he did the biggest crow hop wind up ever to throw the ball 10 feet.  I feel like he's a lot like the kid in little league who is chasing butterflies and eating flowers.  He's not really paying attention, he just wants to throw the ball hard somewhere.  $20 says the middle infielders have to tell him to just throw it in lightly.

-  Maybe this party pizza will lighten my mood/wake me up.

-  It's 7-3, there's a ton on offense, and yet I'm bored out of my mind here.  Maybe it's not my fault, maybe it's this game.  Probably because Wisconsin is involved.  They ruin everything.

-  So I'm a huge nerd, no shocker there, and I've actually kept track on a spreadsheet the books I've read dating back to 2006.  I read 52 in 2006, 62 in 2007, 43 in 2008 (Wonderbaby ^TM was born), 47 in 2009, 37 in 2010 (Baby Ben^TM was born) and a pathetic 28 so far this year.  Having two kids and a job with no travel will really kill that number.  I need to spend more time in the bathroom.

-  Gomez with a hit and a steal.  So good.  If the Twins had Hardy instead of him I'm fine, if they have two shitty ass relievers instead of him that's the biggest shit show in history, other than Brewster's Gophers.

-  Do you realize that the best pitcher in Brewer history was Ted Higuera?  And other than striking out 6 straight dudes in an all-star game a good season or two he really wasn't that good.  I find that surprising for some reason.  Twins have what, Kaat, Blyleven, Viola, Erickson, Santana who are all as good or better?  Yeah, suck it Sconnie!  We own you guys as long as you don't count anything recent.

-  That pizza was pretty good.  I feel healthy.

-  Fielder double.  2-1 over Upton.  what up?

-  Gomez slides into first on a bunt attempt.  Some things never change.  $20 says Gardy has a boner right now.

-  God I'm tired and lame.  Go read one of my drunk blogs from 2 years ago, realize that I suck now, and go read something else. so tired.

MLB Playoff Preview

When TRE, from the latest and greatest Gopher blog Still Got Hope? reached out to me to ask if I wanted to do a co-MLB playoff preview with him my first though was "jesus that sounds like work."  Then I remembered that I've seen TRE in real life and he's a gigantic monster man who would probably rip my arms out my sockets and beat me over the head with them wookie-style if I angered him, so I figured I better do it.

So here's the protocol - I'm previewing the AL, he's previewing the NL which works well for me because my knowledge of the NL is on par with Super Sioux Fan's knowledge of cooking - NOT ALL THAT MUCH.  Then we'd each write a paragraph in response to the other's original paragraph.

Will we agree?  Disagree?  Fight?  Will we come to blows?  TOO SOON TO TELL.  But it should be exciting.  My pants are already half-off in anticipation.

AMERICAN LEAGUE



TEXAS RANGERS vs. TAMPA RAYS  

DWG:  Classic match-up here of momentum vs. unstoppablenessittude.  The Ranger offense is really good at hitting and scoring, much like Bobby Brown, and really has no holes.  But that's the fun thing about good pitching, it creates those holes.  Tampa has the two best pitchers in this deal in Shields and Price, and in a short series sometimes that's all you need.  Evan Longoria is looking sexy and mashing baseballs, and the Rays have heaps of karma from playing the role of Will Hunting to the Sox Carmine Scarpaglia, and saving the world from the hoards of Boston douchefans that always come out of the woodwork for the playoffs.  THAT ROBAHT ANDINO IS WICKED GOOD!  This should be a dogfight, but I give the edge to pitching and karma.  Rays in Five.

TRE:  Evan Longoria is as good a hitter as he is a dreamboat.  On Wednesday he basically willed the Rays into the playoffs and it was amazing.  TREbro cried like a river when the Sox missed the playoffs. (he's a longtime fan, don't try and make sense of it)  TREbro's wife bombarded facebook with Red Sox propaganda too.  None of that could make Carl Crawford not suck extremely hard.

The Rays and Rangers did this dance last year and it took five games for the Rangers to take them down.  They're a year wiser and a year better.  Rangers noob Napoli had a monster second half (.383 AVG, .706 SLG) and co-noob Adrian Beltre has returned from the hamstring injury and has destroyed in September. (Player of the Month I guess!) Tampa may have a slight edge in starting pitching, but Texas has a TRE's head sized edge in the bullpen.  Especially with Ogando and Holland joining the pen for the playoffs.

Oops

DWG is right that the edge should go to pitching, but wrong in choosing Tampa for having the edge.  This series goes to the Rangers.  Ron Washington will do a head spin on that bald pate of his afterwards.  Verdict: Rangers in four.

 


NEW YORK YANKEES vs. DETROIT TIGERS

DWG:  Obviously nobody likes the Yankees, that's a universal law like water or dinosaurs, but the question is do the Tigers have enough to knock them off?  Both teams have a stone cold ace at the front of the rotation and a bunch of question marks to follow so game 1 is even more important than it usually is in a 5-game series.  Just like the Death Star, Justin Verlander has one weakness, and his is giving up home runs.  If that comes into play with the 230 foot right field fence in Yankee Stadium and a bunch of power-hitting lefties the Tigers could get shoved in a hole they can't climb out of, especially since Jim Leyland has already said he won't pitch Verlander on short rest in Game 4 even if Detroit is facing elimination (Sabathia is already slated for Game 4) which makes so little sense to me I'm convinced Leyland was replaced with Ron Gardenhire.  Easily the most difficult series to pick.   It's either Yankees in four or Tigers in five.  I say Detroit gets two wins from Verlander and squeaks one out somewhere else.  Tigers in five.

TRE:  I love Verlander and think he's the best pitcher in baseball.  All of the cool kids are saying that now, but if you ask Doctor Detroit, I've been saying this for awhile.  I get this feeling though that the Tigers believe too much.  Fans think Doug Fister is the new Bob Welch.  A lot rides on CC Sabathia.  Can that big SOB that was somehow robbed once on the street get the best of Verlander?  If he does, it's freaking over.  Doug Fistplay will curl up into the fetal postion.  The bad news for the Yankees is they're not playing the Twins.  Since 2002, they're 12-2 in ALDS games against the Twins and 5-12 against everyone else.  Last time I checked though, former Twin Delmon Young was batting in the 3-hole.  Even Ivan Nova and Freddy Garcia can get Delmon out.  The Tigers are ready for this.  They're going to join the Twins in the slop bucket of AL Central victims by leg sweep.  Verdict: The Jeterses in three.

NATIONAL LEAGUE


ST LOUIS CARDINALS vs. PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES

TRE:  The Cards snuck into the playoffs on the last day of the season. They were down 8.5 games from Atlanta on September first, but went 18-8 in the month and watched Atlanta piss the bed. The Phillies get an opponent that they struggled with in 2011; going 3-6 against them. It sounds like we'll see Roy Halladay against Kyle Lohse in game 1 and Cliff Lee against Edwin Jackson in game 2. So, that's basically 2-0 Phillies. Since this is a best of 5 series, the Cardinals are pretty much screwed at this point. I assume they'd throw Chris Carpenter in game 3 against Cole Hamels; perhaps on short rest. That might get them a win, but then they'd lose to Roy Oswalt in game 4 against Jaime Garcia. Matt Holliday has an injured hand/wrist and is unlikely to start the series, but Allen Craig has played well of late. In my opinion the Cardinals lineup just doesn't stack up with the Phillies. It's basically Pujols and The Big Puma and pray for HBP. The Phillies have a lineup that's solid from top to bottom and they even have some decent depth on their bench. I suppose that explains the franchise record 102 wins. Verdict: Phillies in four.


DWG:  Ok great, the Cards went 6-3 against the Phillies this year.  That's awesome and everything but I mean, come on.  Nobody really thinks the Cardinals can win, do they?  It's taking every ounce of restraint and personal responsibility I have to not put the largest wager of my lifetime down on the Phils to win this series at -300.  Then again, the last time I discounted a Cardinals team this badly they ended up winning the World Series after the Tigers pitchers took turns playing the smash hit game "Throw the ball into the dugout."  Still though, the Phil's worst pitcher (of four) is better than the best St. Louis can trot out there and outside of Pujols their second string offense might be better than the Cards' starters.  Phillies sweep.

MILWAUKEE BREWERS vs. ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS

TRE:   This is an intriguing series and sadly will probably be the least watched due to market size. The Brewers have a solid lineup headed by my NL MVP choice Ryan Braun. Prince Fielder, Corey Hart and Rickie Weeks all bring a lot to the table as well. Casey McGehee took the year off, but I give him a break because he's bald and ugly like me.

The Brewers led the NL in homeruns and did it while posting a decent average, OBP and a relatively low strikeout total. They also brought in some pitching that doesn't blow goats. Shawn Marcum and Zack Grienke joined with Yovanni Gallardo to provide a solid top 3. Lefties Randy Wolf and Chris Narveson round out the rotation. They also have a solid bullpen with Saito and K-Rod joining Axford for the late innings.

Arizona also packs a pop with Justin Upton, Chris Young (the black one, not the tall dork from Princeton) and Miguel Montero being the core run producers. They also have a solid top 4 starters with Ian Kennedy, Daniel Hudson, Josh Collmenter and Joe Saunders. This is a five game series to me. Kennedy went 21-4 and will likely start the series against Gallardo. I really dislike that the Diamondbacks abbreviate themselves with "D-Backs". That's a little too close to d-bags. Verdict: Brewers in five.

DWG:  I agree that this will be an interesting series because these teams are pretty evenly matched.  Milwaukee has more star power with Braun, Fielder, Greinke, and Weeks and seem more glamorous, or at least as glamorous as annything from dirty, dirty Wisconsin can be, but Arizona is a surprisingly good, and complete, team.  Kennedy, Hudson, Collmenter, and Saunders might not sound like much, but they're one of the best starting groups in the NL.  I know, I didn't believe it either, but every single one of them has an ERA under 3.70 and a WHIP under 1.32.  Not really a true ace in the group, sorry Kennedy but I'm not buying it yet, but that really plays well for them.  They can reasonably expect to hold Milwaukee to 3 runs per game, so all they have to do is score 4 runs three times in five games.  They have one of the highest scoring offenses in baseball, so that shouldn't be a problem, and Justin Upton is the Patrick Jane of baseball.  D-Bags in five and TRE is an idiot and a traitor.