There isn't much here about the Gophers so if that's what you're looking for go look somewhere else (although I do bitch about Rodney Williams later). Losing to a mediocre Badger team at Kohl Center doesn't really tell me much, other than reconfirming once again that this Gopher team isn't "elite", but this loss does nothing for me in terms of if this team is "pretty good" or "frustratingly mediocre as usual." And nothing good can possibly happen next week (home games vs. Nebraska and Iowa) only disastrously bad things can happen outside of expected results, so we won't really know anything until the go to East Lansing and then have Illinois at home the following week. It's a frustrating time to be a fan. But what would life as a Gopher fan be without the frustration? We're all such idiots.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Miami Hurricanes. Hey bromigos, there have been some great wins by teams this year but it's going to be tough for anybody to top Miami beating #1 Duke by 27 (and yes I know Duke didn't have Ryan Kelly because everyone keeps pointing out how Duke didn't have Ryan Kelly but can everyone just calm down about that for a minute because we're talking about Ryan freaking Kelly here). I mean they just killed them. At the ten minute mark of the first half Duke was up 14-13, which means Miami beat them 77-59 over the final 30 minutes. This wasn't a fluke (don't forget Miami beat Michigan State earlier this year too) and Miami is now 6-0 in the conference and looking like a good bet to win the ACC for what I assume is the first time ever. Best part of that game was Seth Curry shooting 0-10 from the floor, because I still can't shake my irrational hatred of Stephen Curry so naturally that carries over to Seth because you know, brothers and stuff.
2. Kobe Bryant. I think I mentioned this last week but I recently traded for Kobe in my fantasy league which of course means I no longer hate him and kind of like him now, so I fee like it's worth noting that in his last two games he's had 14 assists. Not total, although frankly that would be kind of impressive for this black hole, but in each of the last two he's had 14 in each. I mean, say what you want but 14 assists in a game is a freaking lot, and he's now done it two games in a row. You know many players have ever had at least 14 assists in back-to-back games? I don't know either, probably kind of a lot, actually, but for a me first glory boy hero ball gunslinging chucker like Kobe to do it must have been very difficult for him mentally. And, the Lakers, are 2-0 in those games, which just goes to show you that when you have two maybe three other Hall of Famers on your team it does wonders for your squad's chances if you actually let them touch the ball and shoot and stuff. Like I've always said.
3. Baylor Bears. There's a reason why Baylor was highly ranked by many including myself this year, and that's because even with Perry Jones, Quincy Acy, and Quincy Miller off to the NBA the machine Scott Drew has put in place still meant they were going to be immensely talented. Sometimes they can put a game together like Monday against Oklahoma State, and even if the final margin was only 10 the game was never really in doubt. Their back court (Pierre Jackson, Brady Heslip, A.J. Walton) is both experienced and talented, while the front court (Isaiah Austin, Cory Jefferson) is probably the most athletic in the country with Jefferson the total freak and Austin the unstoppable freshman who can dominate inside or hit the three and already has a turnaround fadeway jumper which truly a thing to behold from a 7-1 dude with a wingspan beyond that (kind of like KG but slightly more awkward). Then on the bench you have Gary Franklin, Deuce Bello, and Rico Gathers who would all start for most teams. That's why they handled Oklahoma State, won at Rupp against Kentucky, and stomped BYU this year. Of course they're also a dumb team, so they've lost at Northwestern and dropped one at home to Charleston. I'm telling you right now, bros - Baylor is ripe for a first round upset this year in the tournament.
4. UCLA Bruins. There is a reason I ranked UCLA the 6th best team in the NCAA going into this season and they were ranked 13th in the preseason polls - there is a lot of freaking talent here. Early season struggles (one point home OT win over UC-Irvine, home loss to Cal Poly) dropped them out of the rankings and out of everyone's hearts and minds, but as things have come together they reeled off 10 straight wins before dropping a game last week to a good Oregon team, and now went into Tucson and knocked off 6th rated Arizona. The early season issues shouldn't have been a surprise since the team is mostly made up of freshmen (Shabazz Muhammed, Jordan Adams, Kyle Anderson) and transfers (the Wear twins, Larry Drew), but now everything is looking good (they smoked Arizona) and Muhammed is starting to look like he could do the Carmelo Anthony thing and carry this team in March. Of course, being a Ben Howland coached team they then went out an invalidated everything I just wrote by losing at Arizona State on Saturday, but I stand by this team anyway. Kinda sorta.
WHO SUCKED
1. Rodney Williams. No, I'm not the idiot who is going to call Williams out for missing the tying free throw because the odds of him hitting two free throws in any situation are pretty long any way and even as a senior he's a kid who isn't a good shooter and who has been in very few high leverage situations like it - it was basically a given he wasn't going to make them both, particularly on the road. No, I'm going to call out Williams because who in the baby jesus of the earth convinced him he's a jump shooter? He's not a jump shooter. He's a freak athlete who needs to get his ass in the paint because his jump shot resembles that of a high school wrestler. I don't even want him taking open jumpers, let alone the nearly constant shit he's been jacking up the last two games which consists of him stopping the ball, making a jab step or two that doesn't really move the defender, and then rising up and clanging a jumper off some slight part of the rim like he plays for the god damn Illini. Just because you have the ability to get your shot off whenever you want doesn't mean you should. To paraphrase Dr. Ian Malcolm, "You were so preoccupied with whether or not you could, you didn't stop to think if you should." Actually we should probably have Rodney sit down and watch Jurassic Park - the whole thing is a metaphor for his jump shot. Or something like that.
2. Kentucky Wildcats. Like when I wrote about the Lakers last week I'm not exactly breaking news here that Kentucky is struggling, but after watching them lose at Alabama it really reminded me that John Calipari is really not a good game coach, despite winning the title last year. The talent Kentucky has this year is nearly as good as anything else Calipari has had in his career, but when your offensive game plan generally consists of just rolling the ball out every game, that talent also has to be smart - you need coach on the floor types to keep things moving in the right direction. His best teams at Memphis had guys like Chris Douglas-Roberts and Derrick Rose, last year's champions had Anthony Davis and Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, and even back in the UMass days he had an incredible guard tandem in Carmelo Travieso and Edgar Padilla (I can't believe I didn't have to look those names up). Without a "smart" player to direct the team, a coach who is an A+ recruiter and a D+ game coach, and a small talent dip from last year this Kentucky team is going nowhere this year. Of course, next year they're probably going undefeated, so enjoy this now.
3. Arizona Diamondbacks. The D-Backs have a solid core and should be a good team again this year, but they've taken the "get rid of the guys the manager doesn't like" philosophy the Twins like so much to a whole different extreme. Earlier this offseason they unloaded super prospect Trevor Bauer because he wouldn't adapt the workout schedule he's done his entire life to match what the D-Backs wanted and received a prospect in return whose upside is "great glove, no hit" and now they've shipped off Justin Upton because he and manager Kirk Gibson apparently don't get along. Before trading Upton, however, they managed to kill all their leverage by making it clear they wanted him gone. Actually first they got a pretty good haul from Seattle, but Upton has a limited no-trade clause and killed that so, desperate to have him gone, they sent him off to Atlanta for one year of a so-so third baseman (Martin Prado) who wants in the neighborhood of $12 million a year starting next season, a likely fifth starter someday (Randall Delgado), and three other minor leaguers of little consequence. All that for a 25-year old who in four full seasons has had two monster years and two lesser years, which were both above average, by the way. Just a silly way to do business. We're actually lucky to have Gardy. Ha ha just kidding. Throw in the D-Backs trade of Chris Young to Oakland for another no hit/good field shortstop in Cliff Pennington and this offseason has just been bizarre for Arizona.
4. Virginia Commonwealth Rams. What incredible timing for the Rams to implode considering I just pimped them last week as a Final Four sleeper. All they've done this week is have a seven point lead with 42 seconds left vs. Richmond and blow the game and then lose at home to LaSalle. Now, neither Richmond or especially LaSalle are bad losses, but this isn't the way to prove me right and stuff. I still think they're a sleeper Final Four team what with their style of play since most teams don't ever go up against something like that, but both blowing a big lead against a mediocre opponent and losing a home game to another mediocre opponent kind of hurt the confidence level. Actually, maybe this helps since they'll end up with a worse seed and then I will be the only one to pick them to the Final Four and all that sweet sweet NCAA Tournament Pool money will be mine all mine! I'm a genius.
Lastly, the team in college basketball who hands down had the best week was Villanova. They beat both Louisville and Syracuse, giving wins over two top-5 teams in the same week which is pretty much like holy shit. The reasons I didn't list them in the "WHO WAS AWESOME" section are two-fold: 1) I hate them and 2) who gives a crap? Those are two great wins and yeah their RPI is creeping into the mid-50s so it's possible they could play themselves into an at-large, but they already have seven losses and even if most of them are excusable losing to Providence and especially Columbia is not. Also I don't even know if I can name a single player for Nova (is Jayvaughn Pinkston still there?) and I don't really feel like learning another team. So sorry.
Plus I heard Scottie Reynolds has an armpit fetish and cries when he watches Lion King.
Showing posts with label Arizona Diamondbacks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Arizona Diamondbacks. Show all posts
Monday, January 28, 2013
Friday, September 30, 2011
MLB Playoff Preview
When TRE, from the latest and greatest Gopher blog Still Got Hope? reached out to me to ask if I wanted to do a co-MLB playoff preview with him my first though was "jesus that sounds like work." Then I remembered that I've seen TRE in real life and he's a gigantic monster man who would probably rip my arms out my sockets and beat me over the head with them wookie-style if I angered him, so I figured I better do it.
So here's the protocol - I'm previewing the AL, he's previewing the NL which works well for me because my knowledge of the NL is on par with Super Sioux Fan's knowledge of cooking - NOT ALL THAT MUCH. Then we'd each write a paragraph in response to the other's original paragraph.
Will we agree? Disagree? Fight? Will we come to blows? TOO SOON TO TELL. But it should be exciting. My pants are already half-off in anticipation.
AMERICAN LEAGUE
TEXAS RANGERS vs. TAMPA RAYS
DWG: Classic match-up here of momentum vs. unstoppablenessittude. The Ranger offense is really good at hitting and scoring, much like Bobby Brown, and really has no holes. But that's the fun thing about good pitching, it creates those holes. Tampa has the two best pitchers in this deal in Shields and Price, and in a short series sometimes that's all you need. Evan Longoria is looking sexy and mashing baseballs, and the Rays have heaps of karma from playing the role of Will Hunting to the Sox Carmine Scarpaglia, and saving the world from the hoards of Boston douchefans that always come out of the woodwork for the playoffs. THAT ROBAHT ANDINO IS WICKED GOOD! This should be a dogfight, but I give the edge to pitching and karma. Rays in Five.
TRE: Evan Longoria is as good a hitter as he is a dreamboat. On Wednesday he basically willed the Rays into the playoffs and it was amazing. TREbro cried like a river when the Sox missed the playoffs. (he's a longtime fan, don't try and make sense of it) TREbro's wife bombarded facebook with Red Sox propaganda too. None of that could make Carl Crawford not suck extremely hard.
The Rays and Rangers did this dance last year and it took five games for the Rangers to take them down. They're a year wiser and a year better. Rangers noob Napoli had a monster second half (.383 AVG, .706 SLG) and co-noob Adrian Beltre has returned from the hamstring injury and has destroyed in September. (Player of the Month I guess!) Tampa may have a slight edge in starting pitching, but Texas has a TRE's head sized edge in the bullpen. Especially with Ogando and Holland joining the pen for the playoffs.
DWG is right that the edge should go to pitching, but wrong in choosing Tampa for having the edge. This series goes to the Rangers. Ron Washington will do a head spin on that bald pate of his afterwards. Verdict: Rangers in four.
NEW YORK YANKEES vs. DETROIT TIGERS
DWG: Obviously nobody likes the Yankees, that's a universal law like water or dinosaurs, but the question is do the Tigers have enough to knock them off? Both teams have a stone cold ace at the front of the rotation and a bunch of question marks to follow so game 1 is even more important than it usually is in a 5-game series. Just like the Death Star, Justin Verlander has one weakness, and his is giving up home runs. If that comes into play with the 230 foot right field fence in Yankee Stadium and a bunch of power-hitting lefties the Tigers could get shoved in a hole they can't climb out of, especially since Jim Leyland has already said he won't pitch Verlander on short rest in Game 4 even if Detroit is facing elimination (Sabathia is already slated for Game 4) which makes so little sense to me I'm convinced Leyland was replaced with Ron Gardenhire. Easily the most difficult series to pick. It's either Yankees in four or Tigers in five. I say Detroit gets two wins from Verlander and squeaks one out somewhere else. Tigers in five.
TRE: I love Verlander and think he's the best pitcher in baseball. All of the cool kids are saying that now, but if you ask Doctor Detroit, I've been saying this for awhile. I get this feeling though that the Tigers believe too much. Fans think Doug Fister is the new Bob Welch. A lot rides on CC Sabathia. Can that big SOB that was somehow robbed once on the street get the best of Verlander? If he does, it's freaking over. Doug Fistplay will curl up into the fetal postion. The bad news for the Yankees is they're not playing the Twins. Since 2002, they're 12-2 in ALDS games against the Twins and 5-12 against everyone else. Last time I checked though, former Twin Delmon Young was batting in the 3-hole. Even Ivan Nova and Freddy Garcia can get Delmon out. The Tigers are ready for this. They're going to join the Twins in the slop bucket of AL Central victims by leg sweep. Verdict: The Jeterses in three.
NATIONAL LEAGUE
ST LOUIS CARDINALS vs. PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
TRE: The Cards snuck into the playoffs on the last day of the season. They were down 8.5 games from Atlanta on September first, but went 18-8 in the month and watched Atlanta piss the bed. The Phillies get an opponent that they struggled with in 2011; going 3-6 against them. It sounds like we'll see Roy Halladay against Kyle Lohse in game 1 and Cliff Lee against Edwin Jackson in game 2. So, that's basically 2-0 Phillies. Since this is a best of 5 series, the Cardinals are pretty much screwed at this point. I assume they'd throw Chris Carpenter in game 3 against Cole Hamels; perhaps on short rest. That might get them a win, but then they'd lose to Roy Oswalt in game 4 against Jaime Garcia. Matt Holliday has an injured hand/wrist and is unlikely to start the series, but Allen Craig has played well of late. In my opinion the Cardinals lineup just doesn't stack up with the Phillies. It's basically Pujols and The Big Puma and pray for HBP. The Phillies have a lineup that's solid from top to bottom and they even have some decent depth on their bench. I suppose that explains the franchise record 102 wins. Verdict: Phillies in four.
DWG: Ok great, the Cards went 6-3 against the Phillies this year. That's awesome and everything but I mean, come on. Nobody really thinks the Cardinals can win, do they? It's taking every ounce of restraint and personal responsibility I have to not put the largest wager of my lifetime down on the Phils to win this series at -300. Then again, the last time I discounted a Cardinals team this badly they ended up winning the World Series after the Tigers pitchers took turns playing the smash hit game "Throw the ball into the dugout." Still though, the Phil's worst pitcher (of four) is better than the best St. Louis can trot out there and outside of Pujols their second string offense might be better than the Cards' starters. Phillies sweep.
MILWAUKEE BREWERS vs. ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS
TRE: This is an intriguing series and sadly will probably be the least watched due to market size. The Brewers have a solid lineup headed by my NL MVP choice Ryan Braun. Prince Fielder, Corey Hart and Rickie Weeks all bring a lot to the table as well. Casey McGehee took the year off, but I give him a break because he's bald and ugly like me.
DWG: I agree that this will be an interesting series because these teams are pretty evenly matched. Milwaukee has more star power with Braun, Fielder, Greinke, and Weeks and seem more glamorous, or at least as glamorous as annything from dirty, dirty Wisconsin can be, but Arizona is a surprisingly good, and complete, team. Kennedy, Hudson, Collmenter, and Saunders might not sound like much, but they're one of the best starting groups in the NL. I know, I didn't believe it either, but every single one of them has an ERA under 3.70 and a WHIP under 1.32. Not really a true ace in the group, sorry Kennedy but I'm not buying it yet, but that really plays well for them. They can reasonably expect to hold Milwaukee to 3 runs per game, so all they have to do is score 4 runs three times in five games. They have one of the highest scoring offenses in baseball, so that shouldn't be a problem, and Justin Upton is the Patrick Jane of baseball. D-Bags in five and TRE is an idiot and a traitor.
So here's the protocol - I'm previewing the AL, he's previewing the NL which works well for me because my knowledge of the NL is on par with Super Sioux Fan's knowledge of cooking - NOT ALL THAT MUCH. Then we'd each write a paragraph in response to the other's original paragraph.
Will we agree? Disagree? Fight? Will we come to blows? TOO SOON TO TELL. But it should be exciting. My pants are already half-off in anticipation.
AMERICAN LEAGUE
TEXAS RANGERS vs. TAMPA RAYS
DWG: Classic match-up here of momentum vs. unstoppablenessittude. The Ranger offense is really good at hitting and scoring, much like Bobby Brown, and really has no holes. But that's the fun thing about good pitching, it creates those holes. Tampa has the two best pitchers in this deal in Shields and Price, and in a short series sometimes that's all you need. Evan Longoria is looking sexy and mashing baseballs, and the Rays have heaps of karma from playing the role of Will Hunting to the Sox Carmine Scarpaglia, and saving the world from the hoards of Boston douchefans that always come out of the woodwork for the playoffs. THAT ROBAHT ANDINO IS WICKED GOOD! This should be a dogfight, but I give the edge to pitching and karma. Rays in Five.
TRE: Evan Longoria is as good a hitter as he is a dreamboat. On Wednesday he basically willed the Rays into the playoffs and it was amazing. TREbro cried like a river when the Sox missed the playoffs. (he's a longtime fan, don't try and make sense of it) TREbro's wife bombarded facebook with Red Sox propaganda too. None of that could make Carl Crawford not suck extremely hard.
The Rays and Rangers did this dance last year and it took five games for the Rangers to take them down. They're a year wiser and a year better. Rangers noob Napoli had a monster second half (.383 AVG, .706 SLG) and co-noob Adrian Beltre has returned from the hamstring injury and has destroyed in September. (Player of the Month I guess!) Tampa may have a slight edge in starting pitching, but Texas has a TRE's head sized edge in the bullpen. Especially with Ogando and Holland joining the pen for the playoffs.
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DWG is right that the edge should go to pitching, but wrong in choosing Tampa for having the edge. This series goes to the Rangers. Ron Washington will do a head spin on that bald pate of his afterwards. Verdict: Rangers in four.
NEW YORK YANKEES vs. DETROIT TIGERS
DWG: Obviously nobody likes the Yankees, that's a universal law like water or dinosaurs, but the question is do the Tigers have enough to knock them off? Both teams have a stone cold ace at the front of the rotation and a bunch of question marks to follow so game 1 is even more important than it usually is in a 5-game series. Just like the Death Star, Justin Verlander has one weakness, and his is giving up home runs. If that comes into play with the 230 foot right field fence in Yankee Stadium and a bunch of power-hitting lefties the Tigers could get shoved in a hole they can't climb out of, especially since Jim Leyland has already said he won't pitch Verlander on short rest in Game 4 even if Detroit is facing elimination (Sabathia is already slated for Game 4) which makes so little sense to me I'm convinced Leyland was replaced with Ron Gardenhire. Easily the most difficult series to pick. It's either Yankees in four or Tigers in five. I say Detroit gets two wins from Verlander and squeaks one out somewhere else. Tigers in five.
TRE: I love Verlander and think he's the best pitcher in baseball. All of the cool kids are saying that now, but if you ask Doctor Detroit, I've been saying this for awhile. I get this feeling though that the Tigers believe too much. Fans think Doug Fister is the new Bob Welch. A lot rides on CC Sabathia. Can that big SOB that was somehow robbed once on the street get the best of Verlander? If he does, it's freaking over. Doug Fistplay will curl up into the fetal postion. The bad news for the Yankees is they're not playing the Twins. Since 2002, they're 12-2 in ALDS games against the Twins and 5-12 against everyone else. Last time I checked though, former Twin Delmon Young was batting in the 3-hole. Even Ivan Nova and Freddy Garcia can get Delmon out. The Tigers are ready for this. They're going to join the Twins in the slop bucket of AL Central victims by leg sweep. Verdict: The Jeterses in three.
NATIONAL LEAGUE
ST LOUIS CARDINALS vs. PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
TRE: The Cards snuck into the playoffs on the last day of the season. They were down 8.5 games from Atlanta on September first, but went 18-8 in the month and watched Atlanta piss the bed. The Phillies get an opponent that they struggled with in 2011; going 3-6 against them. It sounds like we'll see Roy Halladay against Kyle Lohse in game 1 and Cliff Lee against Edwin Jackson in game 2. So, that's basically 2-0 Phillies. Since this is a best of 5 series, the Cardinals are pretty much screwed at this point. I assume they'd throw Chris Carpenter in game 3 against Cole Hamels; perhaps on short rest. That might get them a win, but then they'd lose to Roy Oswalt in game 4 against Jaime Garcia. Matt Holliday has an injured hand/wrist and is unlikely to start the series, but Allen Craig has played well of late. In my opinion the Cardinals lineup just doesn't stack up with the Phillies. It's basically Pujols and The Big Puma and pray for HBP. The Phillies have a lineup that's solid from top to bottom and they even have some decent depth on their bench. I suppose that explains the franchise record 102 wins. Verdict: Phillies in four.
DWG: Ok great, the Cards went 6-3 against the Phillies this year. That's awesome and everything but I mean, come on. Nobody really thinks the Cardinals can win, do they? It's taking every ounce of restraint and personal responsibility I have to not put the largest wager of my lifetime down on the Phils to win this series at -300. Then again, the last time I discounted a Cardinals team this badly they ended up winning the World Series after the Tigers pitchers took turns playing the smash hit game "Throw the ball into the dugout." Still though, the Phil's worst pitcher (of four) is better than the best St. Louis can trot out there and outside of Pujols their second string offense might be better than the Cards' starters. Phillies sweep.
MILWAUKEE BREWERS vs. ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS
TRE: This is an intriguing series and sadly will probably be the least watched due to market size. The Brewers have a solid lineup headed by my NL MVP choice Ryan Braun. Prince Fielder, Corey Hart and Rickie Weeks all bring a lot to the table as well. Casey McGehee took the year off, but I give him a break because he's bald and ugly like me.
The Brewers led the NL in homeruns and did it while posting a decent average, OBP and a relatively low strikeout total. They also brought in some pitching that doesn't blow goats. Shawn Marcum and Zack Grienke joined with Yovanni Gallardo to provide a solid top 3. Lefties Randy Wolf and Chris Narveson round out the rotation. They also have a solid bullpen with Saito and K-Rod joining Axford for the late innings.
Arizona also packs a pop with Justin Upton, Chris Young (the black one, not the tall dork from Princeton) and Miguel Montero being the core run producers. They also have a solid top 4 starters with Ian Kennedy, Daniel Hudson, Josh Collmenter and Joe Saunders. This is a five game series to me. Kennedy went 21-4 and will likely start the series against Gallardo. I really dislike that the Diamondbacks abbreviate themselves with "D-Backs". That's a little too close to d-bags. Verdict: Brewers in five.
DWG: I agree that this will be an interesting series because these teams are pretty evenly matched. Milwaukee has more star power with Braun, Fielder, Greinke, and Weeks and seem more glamorous, or at least as glamorous as annything from dirty, dirty Wisconsin can be, but Arizona is a surprisingly good, and complete, team. Kennedy, Hudson, Collmenter, and Saunders might not sound like much, but they're one of the best starting groups in the NL. I know, I didn't believe it either, but every single one of them has an ERA under 3.70 and a WHIP under 1.32. Not really a true ace in the group, sorry Kennedy but I'm not buying it yet, but that really plays well for them. They can reasonably expect to hold Milwaukee to 3 runs per game, so all they have to do is score 4 runs three times in five games. They have one of the highest scoring offenses in baseball, so that shouldn't be a problem, and Justin Upton is the Patrick Jane of baseball. D-Bags in five and TRE is an idiot and a traitor.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Week in Review - 7/26/2010 (Dan Haren edition)
God damn it.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Delmon Young. No joke guys, I think we've reached the point where Delmoney is absolutely carrying this team. In terms of the batters, that is, since really Pavariano is the combo that's really getting it done. But batting-wise ever since that Canadian fella whacked his head like Billy-Bob, Delmon has become the man. He's basically the third best hitter on the team this year, and that is only if you count Thome. He's locked in the way Mauer was last year and Morenau was most of this year.
And he even made a play on Saturday night where he sprinted into the corner to catch a fly ball and then tossed out Miguel Tejada tagging (inexplicably) from first to second. I'm starting to think something special is happenign. Perhaps the best sign is what's coming out of the clubhouse from Gardy, Thome, and other teammates. I know it's basically their job to blow smoke up the media and fan's collective ass, but last year you never heard anything positive about Delmon off the field (or on, for that matter) so even the faintest praise is a pretty positive sign. And in this case the praise is flowing like the salmon to Capistrano, so we may very well have a monster breaking out here.
2. Miguel Cabrera. Speaking of people who are overshadowing the advillian-challenged Morneau, Cabrera pretty much has the AL MVP wrapped up and we aren't even to August yet, and he killed pitchers again this week. 13-27 this week with 9 RBI, and he's now hitting .348/.421/.650 on the year, and is now first in slugging and second in OBP and AVG in all of baseball, and on top of that is third in home runs and first in RBI. So he's basically doing what Joe Mauer did last year, but add in a possible triple crown. Just a tremendous season so far. I hope he hits Dan Haren in the face with a line drive.
3. Kelly Johnson. He hit for the cycle, which would be way more exciting but I know pretty much nothing about him. I know he's a Diamondback and used to be a Brave, and I know he's a second baseman. Does he play any other positions? I don't know. Does he hit .220 or .320? Is he a 5 HR hitter or a 25 HR hitter? Does he steal 3 bases or 60? These are all answered with a shrug and a self-deprecating yet charming smirk. So congrats on your cycle Kelly. You've got a hell of a legacy going on here. I hope you enjoy playing with the crap the Angels gave away to steal sexy Dan Haren away from you.
4. Danny Valencia. I still think he's probably a slap-hitting nancy girl, but I've been noticing that a lot of his hits lately are more of the line drive variety than the bloop/seeing eye grounder variety. He put together back-to-back 3-for-5 games over the weekend, and he's now hitting .346/.398/.395 for the year, and if that was over an entire season thus far he would rank as the fifth best third baseman (OPS-wise) in the American League behind Adrian Beltre (wait, what?), Evan Longoria, A-Rod, and Michael Young. Is he that good? No, certainly not, and with a a slugging percentage lower than his OBP he is definitely a slap-hitting Judy, but still I feel slightly impressed. He'd be a much better prospect to give the Diamondbacks than what the craptastic Halos gave for Haren, and not nearly good enough that they'd actually miss him. Nice work, jackasses.
5. Dan Haren. He gets to pitch for a contender and gets to stay on the West Coast, the two things he said he wanted. Well played, Haren. Well played indeed. Of course, he also said that going to a contender was the most important thing, and that he simply preferred to stay on the West Coast. The Twins are a contender, allegedly, and would have been a good landing place. This sucks.
WHO SUCKED
1. Twins. I know they could have come up with a better offer than what the Angels gave for Haren. I know they could have, because the offer the Angels put together was Joe Saunders, two middling prospects and a player to be named later. I plan to look at this further, but for right now my first reaction is that this is a bunch of crap, and they were too pussy to put a real offer out there. Seriously, this was the year to make a move like this. The lineup is going to be worse next year. Right now they have Hudson (when he's not hurt), Hardy (when he's not hurt), and Thome and next year they are going to end up going back to Tolbert, Casilla, and Harris. Bank on it. This was the time to make the move. And if it didn't work out, Haren would still have trade value and they could flip him next year or two year's from now if needed. Just a bullshit chicken-shit move. Enough already with the small market bullshit. Maybe I'm ungrateful, but I'm sick of scratching by to win the division and getting run right out of the playoffs. Make a move already. God I'm emotional right now. This must be what women feel like all the time.
2. Diamondbacks. I'm too sleepy to look it all up, but over and over and over again the Arizona brain trust, and I mean that the same way people refer to David Kahn as the T-Wolves brain trust, said they would have to be blown away by an offer and that this wouldn't be a "salary dump." Well guess what, assholes? This was a straight salary dump. They got a mediocre left-handed starter, a B prospect, a C prospect, and a nothing prospect. Basically equivalent to a Twins offer of Slowey, Jesse Crain, Adrian Salcedo, and Matt Bashore. Who? Exactly. The Twins could have bettered that offer with minimal effort and minimal affect on the overall minor league system. Awesome. Just awesome.
3. Paul Casey. Here is the list of golfers who ranked higher than Paul Casey on the World Golf Rankings who played with him at the FBR Open in Canada this weekend:
Yep, nobody. And yet, Mr. #8 in the world couldn't be bothered to make the cut. Of course, neither did Sean O'Hair, Scott Verplank, Fred Couples, or Mike Weir, leading to a thrilling Sunday showdown between Carl "The Swedish Boss Hog" Petterson and Dean "Can't tell if he's Asian or not" Wilson. This is where I would tell you who won, but you don't care and it doesn't matter. And also I don't actually know because I didn't watch. I was too busy crying.
4. David Ortiz. I somehow found myself watching the Boston/Seattle game Friday night, even though I didn't have money on it and had zero fantasy players involved. No, I have no idea what I was doing there. Not really the point, Tito. The point is that with one out and the bases loaded in the top of the sixth in a 1-1 game, David Ortiz was picked off of third base. And not by the pitcher on something weird, by the catcher. And not by the catcher on a blocked ball in the dirt. It was on a set play by the Mariners where the pitch was outside and the third basemen broke to cover and the catcher winged it down there as soon as he caught it. Which tells me that it wasn't an isolated incident, but Ortiz was getting way too far off the base regularly. Seriously where exactly was he going? Where did David Ortiz think he was going? Was he going to steal home? Score on a ball in the dirt? What could he have possibly had running through his head? I can't decide if this is more Lew Ford or more Denard Span. Maybe it's more Bill Smith. You know, screwing something easy and simple and obvious up beyond all repair.
5. Life. You win again. I feel like WonderbabyTM when she met Santa.
Apologies to Rickie Weeks who probably deserved a spot in the Awesome column, but I had to give props to Danny Haren instead. It's been a long time since I've had my heart broken like this. I need to go drown my sorrows in alcohol and tears. Maybe a nice bundt cake.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Delmon Young. No joke guys, I think we've reached the point where Delmoney is absolutely carrying this team. In terms of the batters, that is, since really Pavariano is the combo that's really getting it done. But batting-wise ever since that Canadian fella whacked his head like Billy-Bob, Delmon has become the man. He's basically the third best hitter on the team this year, and that is only if you count Thome. He's locked in the way Mauer was last year and Morenau was most of this year.
And he even made a play on Saturday night where he sprinted into the corner to catch a fly ball and then tossed out Miguel Tejada tagging (inexplicably) from first to second. I'm starting to think something special is happenign. Perhaps the best sign is what's coming out of the clubhouse from Gardy, Thome, and other teammates. I know it's basically their job to blow smoke up the media and fan's collective ass, but last year you never heard anything positive about Delmon off the field (or on, for that matter) so even the faintest praise is a pretty positive sign. And in this case the praise is flowing like the salmon to Capistrano, so we may very well have a monster breaking out here.
2. Miguel Cabrera. Speaking of people who are overshadowing the advillian-challenged Morneau, Cabrera pretty much has the AL MVP wrapped up and we aren't even to August yet, and he killed pitchers again this week. 13-27 this week with 9 RBI, and he's now hitting .348/.421/.650 on the year, and is now first in slugging and second in OBP and AVG in all of baseball, and on top of that is third in home runs and first in RBI. So he's basically doing what Joe Mauer did last year, but add in a possible triple crown. Just a tremendous season so far. I hope he hits Dan Haren in the face with a line drive.
3. Kelly Johnson. He hit for the cycle, which would be way more exciting but I know pretty much nothing about him. I know he's a Diamondback and used to be a Brave, and I know he's a second baseman. Does he play any other positions? I don't know. Does he hit .220 or .320? Is he a 5 HR hitter or a 25 HR hitter? Does he steal 3 bases or 60? These are all answered with a shrug and a self-deprecating yet charming smirk. So congrats on your cycle Kelly. You've got a hell of a legacy going on here. I hope you enjoy playing with the crap the Angels gave away to steal sexy Dan Haren away from you.
4. Danny Valencia. I still think he's probably a slap-hitting nancy girl, but I've been noticing that a lot of his hits lately are more of the line drive variety than the bloop/seeing eye grounder variety. He put together back-to-back 3-for-5 games over the weekend, and he's now hitting .346/.398/.395 for the year, and if that was over an entire season thus far he would rank as the fifth best third baseman (OPS-wise) in the American League behind Adrian Beltre (wait, what?), Evan Longoria, A-Rod, and Michael Young. Is he that good? No, certainly not, and with a a slugging percentage lower than his OBP he is definitely a slap-hitting Judy, but still I feel slightly impressed. He'd be a much better prospect to give the Diamondbacks than what the craptastic Halos gave for Haren, and not nearly good enough that they'd actually miss him. Nice work, jackasses.
5. Dan Haren. He gets to pitch for a contender and gets to stay on the West Coast, the two things he said he wanted. Well played, Haren. Well played indeed. Of course, he also said that going to a contender was the most important thing, and that he simply preferred to stay on the West Coast. The Twins are a contender, allegedly, and would have been a good landing place. This sucks.
WHO SUCKED
1. Twins. I know they could have come up with a better offer than what the Angels gave for Haren. I know they could have, because the offer the Angels put together was Joe Saunders, two middling prospects and a player to be named later. I plan to look at this further, but for right now my first reaction is that this is a bunch of crap, and they were too pussy to put a real offer out there. Seriously, this was the year to make a move like this. The lineup is going to be worse next year. Right now they have Hudson (when he's not hurt), Hardy (when he's not hurt), and Thome and next year they are going to end up going back to Tolbert, Casilla, and Harris. Bank on it. This was the time to make the move. And if it didn't work out, Haren would still have trade value and they could flip him next year or two year's from now if needed. Just a bullshit chicken-shit move. Enough already with the small market bullshit. Maybe I'm ungrateful, but I'm sick of scratching by to win the division and getting run right out of the playoffs. Make a move already. God I'm emotional right now. This must be what women feel like all the time.
2. Diamondbacks. I'm too sleepy to look it all up, but over and over and over again the Arizona brain trust, and I mean that the same way people refer to David Kahn as the T-Wolves brain trust, said they would have to be blown away by an offer and that this wouldn't be a "salary dump." Well guess what, assholes? This was a straight salary dump. They got a mediocre left-handed starter, a B prospect, a C prospect, and a nothing prospect. Basically equivalent to a Twins offer of Slowey, Jesse Crain, Adrian Salcedo, and Matt Bashore. Who? Exactly. The Twins could have bettered that offer with minimal effort and minimal affect on the overall minor league system. Awesome. Just awesome.
3. Paul Casey. Here is the list of golfers who ranked higher than Paul Casey on the World Golf Rankings who played with him at the FBR Open in Canada this weekend:
Yep, nobody. And yet, Mr. #8 in the world couldn't be bothered to make the cut. Of course, neither did Sean O'Hair, Scott Verplank, Fred Couples, or Mike Weir, leading to a thrilling Sunday showdown between Carl "The Swedish Boss Hog" Petterson and Dean "Can't tell if he's Asian or not" Wilson. This is where I would tell you who won, but you don't care and it doesn't matter. And also I don't actually know because I didn't watch. I was too busy crying.
4. David Ortiz. I somehow found myself watching the Boston/Seattle game Friday night, even though I didn't have money on it and had zero fantasy players involved. No, I have no idea what I was doing there. Not really the point, Tito. The point is that with one out and the bases loaded in the top of the sixth in a 1-1 game, David Ortiz was picked off of third base. And not by the pitcher on something weird, by the catcher. And not by the catcher on a blocked ball in the dirt. It was on a set play by the Mariners where the pitch was outside and the third basemen broke to cover and the catcher winged it down there as soon as he caught it. Which tells me that it wasn't an isolated incident, but Ortiz was getting way too far off the base regularly. Seriously where exactly was he going? Where did David Ortiz think he was going? Was he going to steal home? Score on a ball in the dirt? What could he have possibly had running through his head? I can't decide if this is more Lew Ford or more Denard Span. Maybe it's more Bill Smith. You know, screwing something easy and simple and obvious up beyond all repair.
5. Life. You win again. I feel like WonderbabyTM when she met Santa.
Apologies to Rickie Weeks who probably deserved a spot in the Awesome column, but I had to give props to Danny Haren instead. It's been a long time since I've had my heart broken like this. I need to go drown my sorrows in alcohol and tears. Maybe a nice bundt cake.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Weekend Review - 8/24/2009
Yep, it's about time to bring back the Weekend Reviews every Monday. Let's get started. I could probably have mentioned Michael Cuddyer's two homers in one inning as being awesome, and it was, but I'm not going to.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Matt Hasselbeck. Yes, it's preseason football so really gives a crap, but you can still pay attention to a few things; one of which is that Hasselbeck is poised for a big year. He's coming off a year when he was hurt most of the season, and he sucked even when he did play, putting up a career worst 2-to-1 INT to TD ratio, so he's sort of been forgotten, but he could easily return to his 2007 form. Remember, not only was Hasselbeck hurt last year, but his his top two recievers, Deion Branch and Nate Burleson, were both hurt all year. This year, not only are those two back, but he now has a bona fide #1 in T.J. Houshmanzilly. And there is still no running game to speak off, so they're going to have to chuck it. It's going to be a good year.
2. Tavaris Jackson. If you read the live blog I did of the great Brett Favre's first Viking appearance, you know that I switched over to the Twins game as soon as the world's biggest attention queen left the game. I wish I wouldn't have, because according to the box score and Theory, T-Jax put on a straight up clinic. The numbers are gaudy, 12-15 for 202 yards and 2 touchdowns, and the reviews are glowing. Personally, I hope this gets somebody interested enough to give the Vikes a fifth round pick for him. No chance this guy becomes anything more than a poor man's Vince Young - and that is poor indeed, no matter what Bogart says.
3. John Smoltz. I don't know if it was the motivation that comes from getting cut, or facing a team in the Padres who really can't hit, but Smoltzy reached back in time and tossed a gem on Sunday in his debut with the Cardinals. Well, gem is probalby a bit strong, considering he only threw five innings, but giving up no runs and three hits while striking out 9 in those five innings is impressive, particularly coming from a guy who got destroyed when he was tossing for the Red Sox. The Cards have the hitting to make a run (and Pujols hit #40 yesterday), and if Smotlz can solidify an already very good pitching staff they will leap the Dodgers as the NL favorite.
4. Jay Cutler. I don't like to say nice things about other people in the NFC North, or about drunks because drinking is wrong and against God's word, but Cutler suddenly makes the division seem extra interesting. He played in just three series Saturday night, and managed to direct that shitty Bears offense to scores in all three - 2 TDs and a field goal. He did Cutler-like things, going just 8 for 13, but racking up 121 yards and a TD in the team's 17-3 win over the Giants - a pretty good defense. If Cutler gets that offense in gear, we are looking at a three horse race in the division.
5. Charlie Haeger. You're wondering who this is, and so I'll tell you. He's a knuckleballer for the Dodgers, and I love knuckleballers who aren't named Dickey, so this is even more exciting. On Saturday, Heager pitched a honey of a game against the Cubs going seven innings and giving up just three hits while striking out seven. That makes two starts for Haeger this year since being called up, and he's gone seven in each and has tallied an ERA of 1.93 and a WHIP of 0.86. Could this be the dominant knuckle ball pitcher American has been waiting for all this years? Yes, yes I think it could. And he's working with Charlie Hough, which can only help.
WHO SUCKED
1. Mark Buehrle. Remember when Buehrle set a record for most consecutive batters faced without allowing a runner, including his perfect game? Well things have sort of gone all to hell since then. After getting racked for five runs and 11 hits in 5 1/3 innings against the Orioles on Sunday, he's now gone 0-4 with an ERA over six since that perfect game. I don't really care, because he's half a fag and the White Sox are nothing but a collection of pedophiles and rapists, but I thought I'd point out that noted butt pirate Mark Buehrle sucked this weekend.
2. Arizona Diamondbacks. They beat the Astros on Sunday, so that takes a little bit of sting out of this, but prior to yesterday they had lost seven straight. They've been awful all season, and my preseason pick to win the NL pennant is currently sitting at fifteen games below .500, 19 games out of first in the division, and 15.5 out of the Wild Card. How could this happen you ask? Brandon Webb blowing out his shoulder after one start didn't help, but overall the starting pitching has been good, and the offense has been ok. The bullpen, however, has been a nightmare, putting up the fifth worse bullpen ERA in all of baseball. Scott Shoenweiss, who is fifth on the team in games pitched, is sporting an ERA over 8. Dan Haren is still awesome though.
3. Matthew Stafford. I already hit on an NFC North QB, so why not another one? The difference is that this one sucks. Yeah, yeah, he's a rookie and everything so we shouldn't expect him to be a star right away, but 5-13, 34 yards, and a pick on his very first attempt isn't exactly reassuring, especially when Culpepper played well and Drew Stanton threw a touchdown pass. He wasn't exactly rosey his first time out either, completing half his passes and going for 1 touch and 1 interception. Obviously as a rookie it's not quite time to give up on him or anything, but I'd say it's looking more like Culpepper will be the starter, and I'd guess for the entire season. At least one of the teams in the division will suck.
4. Cowboys Stadium. I mentioned here before that when I drove passed Cowboys Stadium it looked like a metal garbage dumpster, and it sounds like Jerry Jones tried to spruce the place up by putting a giant, 160 foot HD TV screen above the field. There's just one small problem: it's getting in the way. Titans' punter A.J. Trapasso hit the video screen with a punt in the Titans/Cowboys game this weekend, and the Titans actual punter, veteran Craig Hentrich, said that he and Trapasso both hit it several time in warm ups, and that any punt with a five second hang time is going to hit the screen. Jerry Jones response, "You don't gotta move it. The rule is very clear, you just kick it over." So it sounds like Jones screwed up by putting it to low, and now that it's going to be a major issue, his response is to ignore it and make teams take a do-over whenever it happens. This whole story is like a metaphor for the Jerry Jones era.
5. Harrison Barnes. I didn't read this and I haven't bothered to look it up, but according to the radio this morning, Mr. Barnes narrowed his possible schools list to six: UNC, Duke, UCLA, Oklahoma, Kansas, and Iowa State. You'll notice there is no Minnesota on the list. Really a shame too. I was looking forward to stealing and Ice Cube lyric so I could say, "If you F with Barnes, he leaves scars." I guess I'll save that one.
Honorable sucking mention to Super Sioux Fan. Not only has she stopped posting or commenting on this blog, but here own wildly entertaining blog, Diary of a Sioux Fan, has not only been killed, but she deleted every post she ever made as well. You suck, SSF.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Weekend Review
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Jason Kubel. He had this spot locked up after hitting for the cycle on Friday, but decided to declare his awesomeness even further by collecting four more hits on Saturday. For the weekend he helped the Twins sweep the stupid Angels and stupid Torii Hunter, going 8-15 with five runs scored and seven driven in, but that two game stretch may have been the most dominant by a Twin since Kirby destroyed Milwaukee. Honestly, despite Kubel being awesome and my boy and all, he's one of the last Twins I'd pick as "cycle possible" due to his being slower than Kent Hrbek - and I mean Kent Hrbek right now. I'm not 100% sure that triple was legit, but what the scorekeeper says goes, so congrats to Kubel on being a total stud, and the clear third-best hitter on the Twins.
2. Zack Greinke. For those of you with long memories, and I'm guessing many of my long time pain-in-the-ass readers remember, I once downplayed Greinke as nothing more than a #3 starter. Well, if nothing else, at least I am willing to admit when I am wrong as I seem to be doing over and over again lately. Greinke won again on Saturday to run his record to 3-0 for the Royals by shutting out Texas, giving up seven hits and striking out 10 while walking nobody. He's been unhittable this year, with 20 scoreless innings to start the season, piggy-backing on his fourteen scoreless innings to end 2008. He's a big reason the Royals are suddenly on top of the AL Central. Did you know the Royals tried to make him a reliever in 2007? Good thing they changed their minds - for them, bad news for the division. He's going to be good for a long time. I definitely whiffed on this one.
3. Derrick Rose. Who holds the record for most points by a rookie in their playoff debut? Yep, Rose, who scored 36 in the Bulls OT upset win over the Celtics, which tied Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's record. Rose was completely unguardable, and abused Rondo like most Big Ten players abused Travis Busch, even passing up open jumpers in order to cross Rondo over like a bitch and get to the rim. Rose didn't just score 36 points, he did it efficiently by shooting 12-19 and contributed eleven assists in one of the more dominating performances I've seen, stealing home court advantage from the favored Celts. A couple of other interesting things from this series are the fact that Ray Allen wears TWO shooting sleeves, and apparently Vinny del Negro is an actual NBA coach. TWO SHOOTING SLEEVES.
4. Jeremy Hermida. The Marlins keep winning, and they keep finding different heroes. Opening week, it was Emilio Bonifacio, with Josh Johnson pitching like a Cy Young candidate. This weekend Johnson again took the hill, but didn't have his A game this time, giving up six earned runs in six innings pitched, and the Marlins headed to the ninth down three to the Nationals. No matter, as Jeremy Hermida decided he'd be the big nuts this time, and took world's shittiest closer Joel Hanrahan deep with two outs and two on to tie the game. A couple of innings later with the score still tied, Hermida came up again with two men on, and again went deep to give the Marlins a 9-6 lead and finishing the day with three hits and three runs to go with his six RBI, raising his season average to .316. Hermida had a very good year in 2007, but dropped off in 08, so far at least he's looked closer to his 2007 form, and has helped the Marlins to the best record in the bigs at 11-1, currently riding a seven game win streak. The best part of this, however, was the Nationals bullpen cleaning following the sweep, with them jettisoning three of their relievers, calling two washed-up retreads from the minors and signing Kip freaking Wells. Ouch.
5. Glen Perkins. Which Twins' pitcher did you really expect to take a big step forward this year? Probably Slowey or Liriano, maybe Baker? A few people I know really like Blackburn, but I don't know anybody who saw this coming from Perkins. I always thought he was more of a place holder for Mulvey or Swarzak or somebody, and was destined for the bullpen but, once again, it's looking like I'm wrong. Perkins has been incredible this year, going eight innings in all three starts so far, and hasn't given up more than two runs in any start, including yesterday when he went eight, giving up just four hits and one run - and actually looked even more impressive. It seems Perkins has learned how to pitch, and is currently leading Twins' starters with a 1.50 ERA and 0.83 WHIP. Little known fact: his middle name is Weston. Littler known fact: I actually know one other person with that middle name.
WHO SUCKED
1. Chien-Ming Wang. Yes, he's here again. I don't mean to keep writing about Wang, and I would be able to ignore it if he was just consistently bad, but he is somehow finding a way to get worse and worse with each time out, this time giving up eight runs and eight hits in just one and a third innings, and inflating his ERA to a stellar 34.50. None of the Yankee relievers who followed him were able to do much better, with Cleveland putting up 22 runs when the slaughter was over, but Wang's season has just been special so far. In his three starts, he's pitched a total of just six innings and has given up nearly five baserunners per inning with opponents hitting .622 against him. That's a .622 batting average, not slugging. This is, without question, one of the most stunning disintegrations I've ever seen. And I can't look away.
2. Jim Furyk. I am stunned that Furyk missed the cut this week at Harbour Town in the Verizon Classic, seriously stunned. Everything was setup for a Furyk win this week. He was coming off a good finish at the Masters, finishing in a tie for tenth, which showed he was playing good golf. He has a good track record at this course, with two runner-ups, a fourth, and a tenth in the last five times he played it. So what happens? He doesn't break 70, finishing at +3 thanks to a 74 on Thursday, and misses the cut. Makes no sense. Brian Gay, whose only career win was at the Mayakoba when all the good golfers are busy at the WGC Match Play, dominated this course with his worst round being a 67 and finishing at -20 for a win by 10 strokes. Washed up Lee Janzen put up a 65 and never-will-be Tim Petrovic managed a 68, but Furyk can't even last to the weekend? I don't get it.
3. B.J. Upton. My big breakout pick this year (I actually picked him as my AL MVP) Upton has, well, not really been around. He started the season on the disabled list recovering from shoulder surgery, and then yesterday he left the Rays' game after the second inning due to tightness in his quadricep. In between, he managed to squeeze in all of 23 at bats, picking up 5 hits (.217 average) and knock in one run. He still manages to tantalize, picking up six walks as well (.379 OBP) and steal three bases without getting caught. Upton is an epic talent, but this is starting to look like a possible modern day Mark Prior situation. I hope not. And yes, this is another player I told Bogart to draft in his fantasy draft. Sorry again good buddy, sorry again.
4. Arizona D-Backs Offense. It really reminds me of the Twins, but the D-Backs played three games against the San Francisco Giants over the weekend, and managed to score 0, 2, and 0 runs in the three games. Yes, a grand total of two runs in three games. They did face Tim Lincecum, maybe the best pitcher in baseball, and that's the game they got two runs (against the Bullpen, of course). Against fifty-year old Randy Johnson and someone named Jonathan Sanchez, they couldn't do anything, with RJ actually taking a no-hitter into the seventh. Details? Ok. Conor Jackson was 1-11. Mark Reynolds was 1-9. Stephen Drew was 2-12. Chris Young was 1-10. It seems losing Orlando Hudson and Adam Dunn has had a minor effect on a team that was already slightly offensively challenged last year. Even at 4-8 I still think they'll win their division, but then again, I'm still waiting for Justin Upton to break out, so what do I know?
5. Orlando Magic. I generally don't like the NBA. I get a little bit excited for the start of the season, but am bored by game #3 and honestly didn't watch a single game this year. But the playoffs are different. I actually like watching the playoffs, because the teams seem semi-interested and the quality of play goes way up. It was interesting watching the Magic blow an 18-point lead, including being up by 14 at the start of the fourth, to the Sixers, who won on an Andre Iguodala jumper with 2.2 remaining. It was just like watching a college team panic with a lead. The Magic saw the game slipping away, and instead of going to what works - getting the ball to Dwight Howard, they started chucking jump shots. Notorious ballhog Rashard Lewis chucked up a bunch of bricks. Hedo Turkoglu was just 2-8, and I think most of those misses were in the fourth. Skip to My Lou and Courtney Lee couldn't hit anything either. Meanwhile Dwight Howard, who was 11-13 on the game, got all of two shot attempts in the fourth, as the lead dwindled and dwindled and was ultimately lost, along with the game and home court advantage. Just like a panicky college team. Not like a college team: Orlando Magic Cheerleaders.
1. Jason Kubel. He had this spot locked up after hitting for the cycle on Friday, but decided to declare his awesomeness even further by collecting four more hits on Saturday. For the weekend he helped the Twins sweep the stupid Angels and stupid Torii Hunter, going 8-15 with five runs scored and seven driven in, but that two game stretch may have been the most dominant by a Twin since Kirby destroyed Milwaukee. Honestly, despite Kubel being awesome and my boy and all, he's one of the last Twins I'd pick as "cycle possible" due to his being slower than Kent Hrbek - and I mean Kent Hrbek right now. I'm not 100% sure that triple was legit, but what the scorekeeper says goes, so congrats to Kubel on being a total stud, and the clear third-best hitter on the Twins.
2. Zack Greinke. For those of you with long memories, and I'm guessing many of my long time pain-in-the-ass readers remember, I once downplayed Greinke as nothing more than a #3 starter. Well, if nothing else, at least I am willing to admit when I am wrong as I seem to be doing over and over again lately. Greinke won again on Saturday to run his record to 3-0 for the Royals by shutting out Texas, giving up seven hits and striking out 10 while walking nobody. He's been unhittable this year, with 20 scoreless innings to start the season, piggy-backing on his fourteen scoreless innings to end 2008. He's a big reason the Royals are suddenly on top of the AL Central. Did you know the Royals tried to make him a reliever in 2007? Good thing they changed their minds - for them, bad news for the division. He's going to be good for a long time. I definitely whiffed on this one.
3. Derrick Rose. Who holds the record for most points by a rookie in their playoff debut? Yep, Rose, who scored 36 in the Bulls OT upset win over the Celtics, which tied Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's record. Rose was completely unguardable, and abused Rondo like most Big Ten players abused Travis Busch, even passing up open jumpers in order to cross Rondo over like a bitch and get to the rim. Rose didn't just score 36 points, he did it efficiently by shooting 12-19 and contributed eleven assists in one of the more dominating performances I've seen, stealing home court advantage from the favored Celts. A couple of other interesting things from this series are the fact that Ray Allen wears TWO shooting sleeves, and apparently Vinny del Negro is an actual NBA coach. TWO SHOOTING SLEEVES.
4. Jeremy Hermida. The Marlins keep winning, and they keep finding different heroes. Opening week, it was Emilio Bonifacio, with Josh Johnson pitching like a Cy Young candidate. This weekend Johnson again took the hill, but didn't have his A game this time, giving up six earned runs in six innings pitched, and the Marlins headed to the ninth down three to the Nationals. No matter, as Jeremy Hermida decided he'd be the big nuts this time, and took world's shittiest closer Joel Hanrahan deep with two outs and two on to tie the game. A couple of innings later with the score still tied, Hermida came up again with two men on, and again went deep to give the Marlins a 9-6 lead and finishing the day with three hits and three runs to go with his six RBI, raising his season average to .316. Hermida had a very good year in 2007, but dropped off in 08, so far at least he's looked closer to his 2007 form, and has helped the Marlins to the best record in the bigs at 11-1, currently riding a seven game win streak. The best part of this, however, was the Nationals bullpen cleaning following the sweep, with them jettisoning three of their relievers, calling two washed-up retreads from the minors and signing Kip freaking Wells. Ouch.
5. Glen Perkins. Which Twins' pitcher did you really expect to take a big step forward this year? Probably Slowey or Liriano, maybe Baker? A few people I know really like Blackburn, but I don't know anybody who saw this coming from Perkins. I always thought he was more of a place holder for Mulvey or Swarzak or somebody, and was destined for the bullpen but, once again, it's looking like I'm wrong. Perkins has been incredible this year, going eight innings in all three starts so far, and hasn't given up more than two runs in any start, including yesterday when he went eight, giving up just four hits and one run - and actually looked even more impressive. It seems Perkins has learned how to pitch, and is currently leading Twins' starters with a 1.50 ERA and 0.83 WHIP. Little known fact: his middle name is Weston. Littler known fact: I actually know one other person with that middle name.
WHO SUCKED
1. Chien-Ming Wang. Yes, he's here again. I don't mean to keep writing about Wang, and I would be able to ignore it if he was just consistently bad, but he is somehow finding a way to get worse and worse with each time out, this time giving up eight runs and eight hits in just one and a third innings, and inflating his ERA to a stellar 34.50. None of the Yankee relievers who followed him were able to do much better, with Cleveland putting up 22 runs when the slaughter was over, but Wang's season has just been special so far. In his three starts, he's pitched a total of just six innings and has given up nearly five baserunners per inning with opponents hitting .622 against him. That's a .622 batting average, not slugging. This is, without question, one of the most stunning disintegrations I've ever seen. And I can't look away.
2. Jim Furyk. I am stunned that Furyk missed the cut this week at Harbour Town in the Verizon Classic, seriously stunned. Everything was setup for a Furyk win this week. He was coming off a good finish at the Masters, finishing in a tie for tenth, which showed he was playing good golf. He has a good track record at this course, with two runner-ups, a fourth, and a tenth in the last five times he played it. So what happens? He doesn't break 70, finishing at +3 thanks to a 74 on Thursday, and misses the cut. Makes no sense. Brian Gay, whose only career win was at the Mayakoba when all the good golfers are busy at the WGC Match Play, dominated this course with his worst round being a 67 and finishing at -20 for a win by 10 strokes. Washed up Lee Janzen put up a 65 and never-will-be Tim Petrovic managed a 68, but Furyk can't even last to the weekend? I don't get it.
3. B.J. Upton. My big breakout pick this year (I actually picked him as my AL MVP) Upton has, well, not really been around. He started the season on the disabled list recovering from shoulder surgery, and then yesterday he left the Rays' game after the second inning due to tightness in his quadricep. In between, he managed to squeeze in all of 23 at bats, picking up 5 hits (.217 average) and knock in one run. He still manages to tantalize, picking up six walks as well (.379 OBP) and steal three bases without getting caught. Upton is an epic talent, but this is starting to look like a possible modern day Mark Prior situation. I hope not. And yes, this is another player I told Bogart to draft in his fantasy draft. Sorry again good buddy, sorry again.
4. Arizona D-Backs Offense. It really reminds me of the Twins, but the D-Backs played three games against the San Francisco Giants over the weekend, and managed to score 0, 2, and 0 runs in the three games. Yes, a grand total of two runs in three games. They did face Tim Lincecum, maybe the best pitcher in baseball, and that's the game they got two runs (against the Bullpen, of course). Against fifty-year old Randy Johnson and someone named Jonathan Sanchez, they couldn't do anything, with RJ actually taking a no-hitter into the seventh. Details? Ok. Conor Jackson was 1-11. Mark Reynolds was 1-9. Stephen Drew was 2-12. Chris Young was 1-10. It seems losing Orlando Hudson and Adam Dunn has had a minor effect on a team that was already slightly offensively challenged last year. Even at 4-8 I still think they'll win their division, but then again, I'm still waiting for Justin Upton to break out, so what do I know?
5. Orlando Magic. I generally don't like the NBA. I get a little bit excited for the start of the season, but am bored by game #3 and honestly didn't watch a single game this year. But the playoffs are different. I actually like watching the playoffs, because the teams seem semi-interested and the quality of play goes way up. It was interesting watching the Magic blow an 18-point lead, including being up by 14 at the start of the fourth, to the Sixers, who won on an Andre Iguodala jumper with 2.2 remaining. It was just like watching a college team panic with a lead. The Magic saw the game slipping away, and instead of going to what works - getting the ball to Dwight Howard, they started chucking jump shots. Notorious ballhog Rashard Lewis chucked up a bunch of bricks. Hedo Turkoglu was just 2-8, and I think most of those misses were in the fourth. Skip to My Lou and Courtney Lee couldn't hit anything either. Meanwhile Dwight Howard, who was 11-13 on the game, got all of two shot attempts in the fourth, as the lead dwindled and dwindled and was ultimately lost, along with the game and home court advantage. Just like a panicky college team. Not like a college team: Orlando Magic Cheerleaders.
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