Let's Talk Closers

I wasn't planning on writing anything since I'm still so damn tired from that damn Chicago trip, but I happened to be in the car and flipped on the radio and listened to a little Twins Spring Training game.  Even though we're in the heart of the NCAA Tournament, and the two rounds where the best basketball is usually played, it still made my heart skip a beat for summer and some hardball.  Of course, I also had to hear Gordy and Gladden talk about how Jesse Crain would be a great closer if he could just throw strike one, and I don't exactly miss that, but you take the good with the bad.

And even though I know the Twins aren't going to make a move, and even though I know they are going try to go with a closer-by-committee, and even though I know it's not going to work and they're going to wait too long to try and fix it, I'm going to look at the outside possibilities anyway.  Mainly to educate myself on how many options are out there that are going to be ignored.

So here are 10 possible closers we might find wearing a Twins' jersey and working as a closer at some point this year, in the order I found information on them:

1.  John Smoltz.  I bring him up because a reader mentioned him in the comments, but the only thing I find attractive about him is that he's a free agent and wouldn't cost anything outside of the contract to acquire.  At 43 with rapidly dropping velocity and a rapidly rising flyball rate, it's tough to figure out what would be attractive here.  He just took a job with TBS, but his contract has provisions in it where he can leave to play ball if he gets a contract offer.  How badly would that move reek of desperation?  And how much does it sound like something that is going to happen around July?

2.  Kerry Wood.  In the last year of his contract (unless he finishes 55 games this year), Wood is a natural to come up in every closer-related trade rumor.  Of course, Wood is hurt again, this time with a strained back muscle, and with $10.5 million coming his way this year there's no way the Twins would make a move for him now, and nor should they.  If he comes back strong and nobody has stepped up by mid-summer, I can see this one happening, division foe or not.

3.  Mike MacDougal.  I'm not sure about this one, especially because he just got released by the freaking Marlins, but MacDougal did have 20 saves last season for the Nationals and has notched 20+ in two other seasons in his career.  He throws hard and gets a lot of groundballs, so he's an intriguing possibility, but he walks as many as he strikes out these days.  I'd be much more interested in him if he had become available prior to Spring Training, but if he's willing to sign for cheap I'd endorse this move.

4.  Heath Bell.  I've mentioned him here before, and he's probably the best possible option, but the Padres are apparently asking for Glen Perkins and two "good" prospects.  I've said it before, if by "good" they mean guys like Ben Revere, they can screw off, but if they mean guys more like Trevor Plouffe, I'd consider myself intrigued.  This team is in position to win this year, and a move like this takes that up another notch, not to mention showing a nice shift in team philosophy.  

5.  Derrick Turnbow.  Remember this guy?  He notched 39 saves for the Brewers in 2005 with a sub-2.00 ERA and looked poised to be a star, but fell off a cliff since then.  In the next three seasons he's posted a total ERA north of six and has started walking nearly as many batters as he strikes out, and hasn't pitched in the majors since 2008.  He was just released by the Marlins, who apparently stockpiled crappy relievers this Spring, and it actually sounds like he's retiring due to a shoulder injury, but I'm including him here mostly because I already typed all that stuff above before I read the part about the injury.

6.  Jason Frasor.  The other hot name behind Bell, and I'm not entirely certain why he's such a hot commodity.  He saved just 11 out of 14 opportunities, and last year was the first time he posted an ERA under 4 in the last four seasons and the first time he ever put up a WHIP under 1.2.  He's cheaper than Bell, would cost less in prospects, so I see the interest, but I'm not sure he's necessarily any better than Rauch, Neshek, or any of the other clowns the Twins have.  That said, if they can get him in a straight swap for Glen Perkins I would enthusiastically endorse it.

7.  Matt Capps.  I know the Twins had their shot to sign him this off-season if they really wanted him, and they wisely laid off, but time's have changed with Nathan's elbow issues.  I can't imagine the Nationals really need a $4.5 million closer this year when they're going to struggle to win 65-games, and with just a one-year deal it's hard to imagine them not looking to deal him around mid-season.  I fear he's really more of a middle reliever type who's been forced into a closer role, and he regressed big-time last year, so I can't imagine the Twins making this move unless he either provs himself to be back to being good or they get really desperate. 

8.  Francisco Cordero.  He's a pretty big long shot, considering he will make $12 million each of the next two years, but I'm starting to have to stretch to get to 10 and what do the Reds need with a $12 million closer?  Actually they have a pretty good young roster, but if it seems they aren't quite ready I can see the Reds moving guys like Cordero, Aaron Harang, and Bronson Arroyo - they could always try to convert Jose Arredondo into a closer.  I doubt the Twins get involved here, but it's always possible, particularly if anything further goes wrong with Nathan.

9.  Octavio Dotel.   He seems to be about 100 years old, but he keeps plugging along, putting up decent numbers.  He's now on the Pirates, making $3.5 million this year, and they have a club option for next year for $4.5 (although the option becomes team/player mutual if he's traded).  The Pirates have started to show that their front office gets it, and there's really no need for them to bother keeping him - not to mention having that trade clause in there shows they've had that in mind since they signed him.  Actually, other than Bell, Frasor, or (god help me) Smotlz, he's probably the most likely to end up a Twin.

10.  Eddie Guardado.  He's almost certainly going to retire, and there is really no point in bothering to bring him in since him getting people out is basically little more than a rumor at this point, but tell me this, as a Twins' fan, that this doesn't sound like something they'd do.

Of course, I could be wrong about all this too.  ESPN's Eric Karabell believes Jon Rauch could be the next closing star - or at least the next David Aardsma, and really if you look at the ten guys I listed above it's mostly garbage.

I don't know.  I'd still feel a lot better if they got Bell, or are at least prepared to pull the trigger on Wood if he shows he's recovered.  All I really know is that this sucks, because the Twins did basically everything I wanted them to do, and now we have to worry about this.  Arg.  At the very least, tell me they're going to pick somebody, hopefully Rauch, and just go with him.  I have less than zero interest in dealing with watching some kind of closer-by-committee garbage all year.  I prefer to focus my rage on one player at a time.


Sweet 16 predictions coming Wednesday night, so if you are still waiting on my picks to make your wagers, just sit tight.

Weekend Review - 8/24/2009

Yep, it's about time to bring back the Weekend Reviews every Monday. Let's get started. I could probably have mentioned Michael Cuddyer's two homers in one inning as being awesome, and it was, but I'm not going to.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1. Matt Hasselbeck. Yes, it's preseason football so really gives a crap, but you can still pay attention to a few things; one of which is that Hasselbeck is poised for a big year. He's coming off a year when he was hurt most of the season, and he sucked even when he did play, putting up a career worst 2-to-1 INT to TD ratio, so he's sort of been forgotten, but he could easily return to his 2007 form. Remember, not only was Hasselbeck hurt last year, but his his top two recievers, Deion Branch and Nate Burleson, were both hurt all year. This year, not only are those two back, but he now has a bona fide #1 in T.J. Houshmanzilly. And there is still no running game to speak off, so they're going to have to chuck it. It's going to be a good year.

2. Tavaris Jackson. If you read the live blog I did of the great Brett Favre's first Viking appearance, you know that I switched over to the Twins game as soon as the world's biggest attention queen left the game. I wish I wouldn't have, because according to the box score and Theory, T-Jax put on a straight up clinic. The numbers are gaudy, 12-15 for 202 yards and 2 touchdowns, and the reviews are glowing. Personally, I hope this gets somebody interested enough to give the Vikes a fifth round pick for him. No chance this guy becomes anything more than a poor man's Vince Young - and that is poor indeed, no matter what Bogart says.

3. John Smoltz. I don't know if it was the motivation that comes from getting cut, or facing a team in the Padres who really can't hit, but Smoltzy reached back in time and tossed a gem on Sunday in his debut with the Cardinals. Well, gem is probalby a bit strong, considering he only threw five innings, but giving up no runs and three hits while striking out 9 in those five innings is impressive, particularly coming from a guy who got destroyed when he was tossing for the Red Sox. The Cards have the hitting to make a run (and Pujols hit #40 yesterday), and if Smotlz can solidify an already very good pitching staff they will leap the Dodgers as the NL favorite.

4. Jay Cutler. I don't like to say nice things about other people in the NFC North, or about drunks because drinking is wrong and against God's word, but Cutler suddenly makes the division seem extra interesting. He played in just three series Saturday night, and managed to direct that shitty Bears offense to scores in all three - 2 TDs and a field goal. He did Cutler-like things, going just 8 for 13, but racking up 121 yards and a TD in the team's 17-3 win over the Giants - a pretty good defense. If Cutler gets that offense in gear, we are looking at a three horse race in the division.

5. Charlie Haeger. You're wondering who this is, and so I'll tell you. He's a knuckleballer for the Dodgers, and I love knuckleballers who aren't named Dickey, so this is even more exciting. On Saturday, Heager pitched a honey of a game against the Cubs going seven innings and giving up just three hits while striking out seven. That makes two starts for Haeger this year since being called up, and he's gone seven in each and has tallied an ERA of 1.93 and a WHIP of 0.86. Could this be the dominant knuckle ball pitcher American has been waiting for all this years? Yes, yes I think it could. And he's working with Charlie Hough, which can only help.

WHO SUCKED

1. Mark Buehrle. Remember when Buehrle set a record for most consecutive batters faced without allowing a runner, including his perfect game? Well things have sort of gone all to hell since then. After getting racked for five runs and 11 hits in 5 1/3 innings against the Orioles on Sunday, he's now gone 0-4 with an ERA over six since that perfect game. I don't really care, because he's half a fag and the White Sox are nothing but a collection of pedophiles and rapists, but I thought I'd point out that noted butt pirate Mark Buehrle sucked this weekend.

2. Arizona Diamondbacks. They beat the Astros on Sunday, so that takes a little bit of sting out of this, but prior to yesterday they had lost seven straight. They've been awful all season, and my preseason pick to win the NL pennant is currently sitting at fifteen games below .500, 19 games out of first in the division, and 15.5 out of the Wild Card. How could this happen you ask? Brandon Webb blowing out his shoulder after one start didn't help, but overall the starting pitching has been good, and the offense has been ok. The bullpen, however, has been a nightmare, putting up the fifth worse bullpen ERA in all of baseball. Scott Shoenweiss, who is fifth on the team in games pitched, is sporting an ERA over 8. Dan Haren is still awesome though.

3. Matthew Stafford. I already hit on an NFC North QB, so why not another one? The difference is that this one sucks. Yeah, yeah, he's a rookie and everything so we shouldn't expect him to be a star right away, but 5-13, 34 yards, and a pick on his very first attempt isn't exactly reassuring, especially when Culpepper played well and Drew Stanton threw a touchdown pass. He wasn't exactly rosey his first time out either, completing half his passes and going for 1 touch and 1 interception. Obviously as a rookie it's not quite time to give up on him or anything, but I'd say it's looking more like Culpepper will be the starter, and I'd guess for the entire season. At least one of the teams in the division will suck.

4. Cowboys Stadium. I mentioned here before that when I drove passed Cowboys Stadium it looked like a metal garbage dumpster, and it sounds like Jerry Jones tried to spruce the place up by putting a giant, 160 foot HD TV screen above the field. There's just one small problem: it's getting in the way. Titans' punter A.J. Trapasso hit the video screen with a punt in the Titans/Cowboys game this weekend, and the Titans actual punter, veteran Craig Hentrich, said that he and Trapasso both hit it several time in warm ups, and that any punt with a five second hang time is going to hit the screen. Jerry Jones response, "You don't gotta move it. The rule is very clear, you just kick it over." So it sounds like Jones screwed up by putting it to low, and now that it's going to be a major issue, his response is to ignore it and make teams take a do-over whenever it happens. This whole story is like a metaphor for the Jerry Jones era.

5. Harrison Barnes. I didn't read this and I haven't bothered to look it up, but according to the radio this morning, Mr. Barnes narrowed his possible schools list to six: UNC, Duke, UCLA, Oklahoma, Kansas, and Iowa State. You'll notice there is no Minnesota on the list. Really a shame too. I was looking forward to stealing and Ice Cube lyric so I could say, "If you F with Barnes, he leaves scars." I guess I'll save that one.

Honorable sucking mention to Super Sioux Fan. Not only has she stopped posting or commenting on this blog, but here own wildly entertaining blog, Diary of a Sioux Fan, has not only been killed, but she deleted every post she ever made as well. You suck, SSF.