There isn't much here about the Gophers so if that's what you're looking for go look somewhere else (although I do bitch about Rodney Williams later). Losing to a mediocre Badger team at Kohl Center doesn't really tell me much, other than reconfirming once again that this Gopher team isn't "elite", but this loss does nothing for me in terms of if this team is "pretty good" or "frustratingly mediocre as usual." And nothing good can possibly happen next week (home games vs. Nebraska and Iowa) only disastrously bad things can happen outside of expected results, so we won't really know anything until the go to East Lansing and then have Illinois at home the following week. It's a frustrating time to be a fan. But what would life as a Gopher fan be without the frustration? We're all such idiots.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Miami Hurricanes. Hey bromigos, there have been some great wins by teams this year but it's going to be tough for anybody to top Miami beating #1 Duke by 27 (and yes I know Duke didn't have Ryan Kelly because everyone keeps pointing out how Duke didn't have Ryan Kelly but can everyone just calm down about that for a minute because we're talking about Ryan freaking Kelly here). I mean they just killed them. At the ten minute mark of the first half Duke was up 14-13, which means Miami beat them 77-59 over the final 30 minutes. This wasn't a fluke (don't forget Miami beat Michigan State earlier this year too) and Miami is now 6-0 in the conference and looking like a good bet to win the ACC for what I assume is the first time ever. Best part of that game was Seth Curry shooting 0-10 from the floor, because I still can't shake my irrational hatred of Stephen Curry so naturally that carries over to Seth because you know, brothers and stuff.
2. Kobe Bryant. I think I mentioned this last week but I recently traded for Kobe in my fantasy league which of course means I no longer hate him and kind of like him now, so I fee like it's worth noting that in his last two games he's had 14 assists. Not total, although frankly that would be kind of impressive for this black hole, but in each of the last two he's had 14 in each. I mean, say what you want but 14 assists in a game is a freaking lot, and he's now done it two games in a row. You know many players have ever had at least 14 assists in back-to-back games? I don't know either, probably kind of a lot, actually, but for a me first glory boy hero ball gunslinging chucker like Kobe to do it must have been very difficult for him mentally. And, the Lakers, are 2-0 in those games, which just goes to show you that when you have two maybe three other Hall of Famers on your team it does wonders for your squad's chances if you actually let them touch the ball and shoot and stuff. Like I've always said.
3. Baylor Bears. There's a reason why Baylor was highly ranked by many including myself this year, and that's because even with Perry Jones, Quincy Acy, and Quincy Miller off to the NBA the machine Scott Drew has put in place still meant they were going to be immensely talented. Sometimes they can put a game together like Monday against Oklahoma State, and even if the final margin was only 10 the game was never really in doubt. Their back court (Pierre Jackson, Brady Heslip, A.J. Walton) is both experienced and talented, while the front court (Isaiah Austin, Cory Jefferson) is probably the most athletic in the country with Jefferson the total freak and Austin the unstoppable freshman who can dominate inside or hit the three and already has a turnaround fadeway jumper which truly a thing to behold from a 7-1 dude with a wingspan beyond that (kind of like KG but slightly more awkward). Then on the bench you have Gary Franklin, Deuce Bello, and Rico Gathers who would all start for most teams. That's why they handled Oklahoma State, won at Rupp against Kentucky, and stomped BYU this year. Of course they're also a dumb team, so they've lost at Northwestern and dropped one at home to Charleston. I'm telling you right now, bros - Baylor is ripe for a first round upset this year in the tournament.
4. UCLA Bruins. There is a reason I ranked UCLA the 6th best team in the NCAA going into this season and they were ranked 13th in the preseason polls - there is a lot of freaking talent here. Early season struggles (one point home OT win over UC-Irvine, home loss to Cal Poly) dropped them out of the rankings and out of everyone's hearts and minds, but as things have come together they reeled off 10 straight wins before dropping a game last week to a good Oregon team, and now went into Tucson and knocked off 6th rated Arizona. The early season issues shouldn't have been a surprise since the team is mostly made up of freshmen (Shabazz Muhammed, Jordan Adams, Kyle Anderson) and transfers (the Wear twins, Larry Drew), but now everything is looking good (they smoked Arizona) and Muhammed is starting to look like he could do the Carmelo Anthony thing and carry this team in March. Of course, being a Ben Howland coached team they then went out an invalidated everything I just wrote by losing at Arizona State on Saturday, but I stand by this team anyway. Kinda sorta.
WHO SUCKED
1. Rodney Williams. No, I'm not the idiot who is going to call Williams out for missing the tying free throw because the odds of him hitting two free throws in any situation are pretty long any way and even as a senior he's a kid who isn't a good shooter and who has been in very few high leverage situations like it - it was basically a given he wasn't going to make them both, particularly on the road. No, I'm going to call out Williams because who in the baby jesus of the earth convinced him he's a jump shooter? He's not a jump shooter. He's a freak athlete who needs to get his ass in the paint because his jump shot resembles that of a high school wrestler. I don't even want him taking open jumpers, let alone the nearly constant shit he's been jacking up the last two games which consists of him stopping the ball, making a jab step or two that doesn't really move the defender, and then rising up and clanging a jumper off some slight part of the rim like he plays for the god damn Illini. Just because you have the ability to get your shot off whenever you want doesn't mean you should. To paraphrase Dr. Ian Malcolm, "You were so preoccupied with whether or not you could, you didn't stop to think if you should." Actually we should probably have Rodney sit down and watch Jurassic Park - the whole thing is a metaphor for his jump shot. Or something like that.
2. Kentucky Wildcats. Like when I wrote about the Lakers last week I'm not exactly breaking news here that Kentucky is struggling, but after watching them lose at Alabama it really reminded me that John Calipari is really not a good game coach, despite winning the title last year. The talent Kentucky has this year is nearly as good as anything else Calipari has had in his career, but when your offensive game plan generally consists of just rolling the ball out every game, that talent also has to be smart - you need coach on the floor types to keep things moving in the right direction. His best teams at Memphis had guys like Chris Douglas-Roberts and Derrick Rose, last year's champions had Anthony Davis and Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, and even back in the UMass days he had an incredible guard tandem in Carmelo Travieso and Edgar Padilla (I can't believe I didn't have to look those names up). Without a "smart" player to direct the team, a coach who is an A+ recruiter and a D+ game coach, and a small talent dip from last year this Kentucky team is going nowhere this year. Of course, next year they're probably going undefeated, so enjoy this now.
3. Arizona Diamondbacks. The D-Backs have a solid core and should be a good team again this year, but they've taken the "get rid of the guys the manager doesn't like" philosophy the Twins like so much to a whole different extreme. Earlier this offseason they unloaded super prospect Trevor Bauer because he wouldn't adapt the workout schedule he's done his entire life to match what the D-Backs wanted and received a prospect in return whose upside is "great glove, no hit" and now they've shipped off Justin Upton because he and manager Kirk Gibson apparently don't get along. Before trading Upton, however, they managed to kill all their leverage by making it clear they wanted him gone. Actually first they got a pretty good haul from Seattle, but Upton has a limited no-trade clause and killed that so, desperate to have him gone, they sent him off to Atlanta for one year of a so-so third baseman (Martin Prado) who wants in the neighborhood of $12 million a year starting next season, a likely fifth starter someday (Randall Delgado), and three other minor leaguers of little consequence. All that for a 25-year old who in four full seasons has had two monster years and two lesser years, which were both above average, by the way. Just a silly way to do business. We're actually lucky to have Gardy. Ha ha just kidding. Throw in the D-Backs trade of Chris Young to Oakland for another no hit/good field shortstop in Cliff Pennington and this offseason has just been bizarre for Arizona.
4. Virginia Commonwealth Rams. What incredible timing for the Rams to implode considering I just pimped them last week as a Final Four sleeper. All they've done this week is have a seven point lead with 42 seconds left vs. Richmond and blow the game and then lose at home to LaSalle. Now, neither Richmond or especially LaSalle are bad losses, but this isn't the way to prove me right and stuff. I still think they're a sleeper Final Four team what with their style of play since most teams don't ever go up against something like that, but both blowing a big lead against a mediocre opponent and losing a home game to another mediocre opponent kind of hurt the confidence level. Actually, maybe this helps since they'll end up with a worse seed and then I will be the only one to pick them to the Final Four and all that sweet sweet NCAA Tournament Pool money will be mine all mine! I'm a genius.
Lastly, the team in college basketball who hands down had the best week was Villanova. They beat both Louisville and Syracuse, giving wins over two top-5 teams in the same week which is pretty much like holy shit. The reasons I didn't list them in the "WHO WAS AWESOME" section are two-fold: 1) I hate them and 2) who gives a crap? Those are two great wins and yeah their RPI is creeping into the mid-50s so it's possible they could play themselves into an at-large, but they already have seven losses and even if most of them are excusable losing to Providence and especially Columbia is not. Also I don't even know if I can name a single player for Nova (is Jayvaughn Pinkston still there?) and I don't really feel like learning another team. So sorry.
Plus I heard Scottie Reynolds has an armpit fetish and cries when he watches Lion King.
Showing posts with label Kobe Bryant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kobe Bryant. Show all posts
Monday, January 28, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Week in Review - 1/21/2013
I really have no idea why I stopped doing these posts. They're fairly easy, since I can write parts of them during the week, they cover all sports for an entire week period, and they give you, the idiot reader, something to depend on knowing this post will be here every Monday morning. I'm going to do my best to get back on this and start having the Monday morning Week in Review's again. Or your money back. And I'm going to start with Lance Armstrong.
Ha ha just kidding. I don't care.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Joe Flacco. As much as I hate to give credit when it's due, I'm going to have to in Flacco's case because he had a great game getting the Ravens to the Super Bowl and outplayed Tom Brady to do it. He seems to have developed a couple interesting skills to go with one of the strongest arms in the league - he can pick apart a defense underneath using his backs and TEs, and he has that over the shoulder throw to Boldin in the end zone down cold. Both of his touchdown throws to Boldin were on that same play, and more than half his completions were to backs or tight ends, and then he can cut loose with that big arm to Torrey Smith when needed. It will be kind of interesting to see how he adjusts in the red zone when the 49ers inevitably put a safety on top of Boldin when they get close. I also just realized this is going to be a Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh Super Bowl and we're going to have to hear that over and over and over again. Oh god, and also Ray Lewis. And I have a feeling Colin Kaepernick is going to get way too much press, too. God I am suddenly remembering how much I hate the 2 weeks leading up to the Super Bowl. Don't they have some kind of 2-week coma drug? I know the wife and kids probably wouldn't be down for me going in that direction, but I'm not sure I have a choice. Not my fault.
2. Washington Nationals. In a baseball hot stove league that's been characterized by teams "going for it in their window" more than any other I can remember (Baltimore Orioles exempted, for some reason) the Nats just made another move that put them in the Dodgers/Blue Jays tier for "going for it" signing closer Rafael Soriano to a two year, $28 million deal with an option that automatically vests if he finishes 120 combined games in the two years. That now gives the Nationals a bullpen of Tyler Clippard in the 7th, Drew Storen in the 8th, and Soriano in the 9th, and that's in front of a rotation of Stephen Strasburg/Gio Gonzalez/Jordan Zimmermann/Dan Haren/Ross Detwiler. Their also loaded with a young and talented lineup with only one bad contract (Jayson Werth), Wilson Ramos will be back at catcher, they traded for Denard Span to fill their only real lineup leak, and resigned Adam LaRoche to a reasonable contract which gives them an excellent trade chip (Michael Morse, now a back-up who was just traded to Seattle in a three-way deal that brought them a couple decent prospects because lord knows they don't have enough) all at the same time. Yes, paying $14 million to a reliever is too much especially when you have to give up a first round pick to do it, but I'm a big fan of this "going for it" thing and I'd say they're in pretty decent shape. At least until they shutdown Strasburg after 190 innings this year because, you know, you can never be too careful.
3. Butler Bulldogs. I don't know if it's Brad Stevens or what (NOTE: it's probably Brad Stevens) but Butler just keeps on going. When they made those back-to-back NCAA Championship games you kind of figured like, ok he found a few diamonds in the rough in Gordon Hayward, Shelvin Mack, and Matt Howard (really rough, in his case) and Stevens got them to perfectly come together for a magical run (or two) and then they'd go back to being Butler. When they missed the NCAA Tournament (made the CBI) last season everything looked confirmed. But now? First Stevens gets Rotnei Clarke, and ultra-experienced deadeye shooter who fits Butler's system perfectly, to come to Indy, joining a couple of decent players, and you figure Butler would probably be decent. Little did you know Clarke was going to play out of his mind and a couple promising youngsters would suddenly blossom into double-digit scorers. Then Clarke gets hurt against Richmond and you'd think Butler would slide, but they had no issue finishing up Richmond, and then played a really, really good Gonzaga team and did this:
I hate teams that are always good because I'm so unfamiliar with it. It's like an Amish who was dropped in Dubai.
4. Florida Gators. For my money, there are six teams (seven if you count my super sleeper VCU) who could potentially win the NCAA Championship this year - Louisville, Syracuse, Michigan, Indiana, Duke, and the sixth is Florida. For some reason they're only ranked 10th. Why? Because they have two losses, although those happen to be at Arizona (a one-loss team) in a game Florida controlled for 38 minutes before letting it slip away, and against a good Kansas State in Kansas City. Look at their recent results. After a week of dominating fools they've now won their four SEC games by 33 (vs. Georgia), 22 (@ LSU), 21 (@ Texas A&M), and 31 (vs. Missouri). I know Mizzou is in kind of a tailspin right now with Bowers hurt and Dixon having been kicked off the team, but beating that team by 31 is still damn impressive. Florida is one of the few teams in the country with a great offense and a great defense, with great players both on the perimeter and in the paint. I feel pretty effing good having gotten down on them at 12-1 to win the whole thing. Don't think, just do it.
5. Syracuse Orangemen. I've touted Louisville as my #1 team in the country so I need to give credit to the Orange for taking them down on the road, and actually this was the game that convinced me to put Cuse in that "could win the title" group because they played great in a tough environment. I have no idea why Syracuse has kind of been under my radar, but I assume it's because I'm an idiot. They're loaded at guard and play two point guards in Brandon Triche and Michael Carter-Williams, which they can get away with because they're 6-4 and 6-6, and an awesome front court that includes two great scorers (C.J. Fair and James Southerland) and a defensive superstar (Rakeem Christmas). Their only loss was to Temple at MSG, and they now have probably the best win of anyone this season with that roadie vs. the #1 team to legitimize them. They do have a big issue hanging over them with Southerland's indefinite suspension due to some kind of academic issue, but I would assume he'll be back soon enough given that Syracuse is a big time hoops school and so the administrators probably understand it's best to get him back on the court.
Stupid Joel Maturi.
WHO SUCKED
1. Gopher basketball. I'm not giving up on the season, thinking they suck, or anything like that. I mean they have three losses this season and they're all to teams that have been ranked in the top 3 this season, and only the Duke game was a double digit loss. What sucks, and why I have to put the Gophers here, is that I'm having trouble imagining them as a Final Four team anymore, simply because there have been stretches in all three losses where they've been absolutely dominated, and the domination wasn't for a short period of time but a very long one. Michigan outscored them 20-7 over a 7 minute period, Indiana had that entire first half, and Duke pretty much controlled the whole game. For much of this year I had considered the Gophers to be a possible Final Four contending team and maybe the best Gopher team of my life. That seems laughable now, as I'm fairly certain the '97 team would crush these guys.
That's not to say this can't be a very good year. I'm picturing the team now as a top 5 finisher in the Big 10 with like a 5 seed and a decent shot to make the Sweet 16. Wouldn't we all have taken that coming into the season? Of course we would have. By any measure (for the Gopher program) that's a successful season, it's just that it felt like the bar had been raised and that this might be a special team, rather than a very good one. It's hard to feel that way anymore after watching Michigan completely outclass them on their own court. Hopefully they can sweet these next four winnable games and I can feel a bit better, and even though I know this is a really good Gopher team it's hard not to feel a bit of a gut punch here. It's not the losses, it's the way they lost. Hopefully they learn and move on. I'm also now extremely terrified of going to Northwestern.
2. Los Angeles Lakers. I know I'm not exactly breaking new ground here because I think everyone is aware of the Lakers' struggles, but holy crap you guys. Anybody who ever watched sports new their might be an adjustment period bringing in Nash to play with a guy who dominates the ball like Kobe (similar to the LeBron/Wade pairing initially) but even if it took them a while to get it figured out with complimentary players like Dwight Howard and Pau Gasol you'd expect them, worst case, to end up being a very dangerous low seed in the playoffs as they finally figured it out. One problem - they're not figuring it out, and at 17-23 are in severe danger of missing the playoffs after losing to Toronto on Sunday (TORONTO!!) thanks in part to Howard getting booted for picking up two technicals. They've now lost eight of their last ten, and count losses to the Raptors, Cavs, Magic, and the Kings among their failures this year - those are some bad teams. Normally I would be enjoying this immensely, but I just acquired Kobe for my Fantasy NBA team and so now I don't hate him as much.
3. Jordan Hulls. So let me get this straight, the Underpants Gnome plays out of his mind against the Gophers but then plays like a total asshole against Wisconsin? And don't you dare credit Wisconsin for this either, because he was just total garbage who couldn't shoot, only bothered to take 1 three-pointer (seriously with that range he only attempted one? First time all year), and turned the ball over like he was giving it away for Valentine's Day to some handsome man. Plus he was outplayed by Ben Brust who sucks. And what was with Indiana doubling down on Ryan freaking Evans on the block? Just let him go to work, you'll be better off letting him shoot. The only possible explanations for this game was that Indiana felt invincible after beating the Gophers and forgot to try or Jordan Hulls threw the game. Also, why do I have so much trouble spelling invincible? Everything about this has my brain scrambled like Kevin Burleson trying to break a press.
4. Matt Ryan. I thought Ryan was getting a little too much heat for never having won a playoff game (probably because the Matty Ice nickname is so annoying) but it's hard to find a way to not blame that game on Ryan (with a major assist to the defense). I'll even forgive him the pick because Roddy White fell down, but there were plenty of unforgivable mistakes. The fumbled shot gun snap that San Fran recovered which hit him perfectly in the hands and not picking up a single first down after recovering the Crabtree fumble (giving the Niners great field position after a shitty punt) were both pretty awful, but Ryan saved his worst for the biggest play of the game. On that fourth down inside the 10 he forced the ball to a non-open White, never bothering to look at any other receive and thus missing an absolutely wide open Tony Gonzalez who had slipped behind the linebackers and there wasn't a safety over the top - easy TD. I should feel good about this loss because the Falcons screwed over the Vikings in '98, but I hate Jim Harbaugh, Ray Lewis, and the Patriots so Atlanta was my only chance to enjoy the Super Bowl. Hopefully they'll be good food.
5. Seattle Mariners. If I'm going to praise the Nationals for making a good move, I gotta point out that the Mariners apparently are assembling a softball team or something. After acquiring Michael Morse in the above mentioned trade, they now have all these guys: Morse, Raul Ibanez, Jason Bay, Kendrys Morales, Justin Smoak, and Jesus Montero. Which means that even if they plan to give Montero another shot to be a catcher (LOL) they've still got five mostly immobile types to try to shoehorn into a lineup. That means something like Montero at C, Ibanez in LF, Morse in RF, Morales at 1b, and either Smoak or Bay at DH with the other coming off the bench? Ibanez and Morse as two of your 3 outfielders? Franklin Gutierrez is very good, but he's not that good. I guess the real point is why even trade for Morse? Even if they've given up on Smoak (and if they have they should trade him to the Twins because I STILL BELIEVE DAMMIT) acquiring Morse brings nothing to you that you don't already have, and by trading John Jaso to do it you've severely downgraded your defense going to Montero, but they don't really have another choice because, again, they have way to many slow RF/DH/1b types to fit Montero's bat in any other way. Seattle has the potential for a pretty kick-ass future (seriously their minor league pitchers are top shelf) but if they keep fucking up the present like this it's not going to matter. Those Nintendo guys haven't done anything baseball-related right since Baseball Stars. Remember Baseball Stars 2? What were they thinking?
You'll notice I had the prudence to not write about this whole Manti Te'o thing because let's be honest, it's pretty played out at this point. Was a pretty good day on twitter, though. I also didn't write about hockey because it's a sport for cretins. See you soon with a preview of the Northwestern game. Or maybe just a link to the one I wrote like a week ago. Jesus aren't they supposed to space these games out?
Ha ha just kidding. I don't care.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Joe Flacco. As much as I hate to give credit when it's due, I'm going to have to in Flacco's case because he had a great game getting the Ravens to the Super Bowl and outplayed Tom Brady to do it. He seems to have developed a couple interesting skills to go with one of the strongest arms in the league - he can pick apart a defense underneath using his backs and TEs, and he has that over the shoulder throw to Boldin in the end zone down cold. Both of his touchdown throws to Boldin were on that same play, and more than half his completions were to backs or tight ends, and then he can cut loose with that big arm to Torrey Smith when needed. It will be kind of interesting to see how he adjusts in the red zone when the 49ers inevitably put a safety on top of Boldin when they get close. I also just realized this is going to be a Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh Super Bowl and we're going to have to hear that over and over and over again. Oh god, and also Ray Lewis. And I have a feeling Colin Kaepernick is going to get way too much press, too. God I am suddenly remembering how much I hate the 2 weeks leading up to the Super Bowl. Don't they have some kind of 2-week coma drug? I know the wife and kids probably wouldn't be down for me going in that direction, but I'm not sure I have a choice. Not my fault.
2. Washington Nationals. In a baseball hot stove league that's been characterized by teams "going for it in their window" more than any other I can remember (Baltimore Orioles exempted, for some reason) the Nats just made another move that put them in the Dodgers/Blue Jays tier for "going for it" signing closer Rafael Soriano to a two year, $28 million deal with an option that automatically vests if he finishes 120 combined games in the two years. That now gives the Nationals a bullpen of Tyler Clippard in the 7th, Drew Storen in the 8th, and Soriano in the 9th, and that's in front of a rotation of Stephen Strasburg/Gio Gonzalez/Jordan Zimmermann/Dan Haren/Ross Detwiler. Their also loaded with a young and talented lineup with only one bad contract (Jayson Werth), Wilson Ramos will be back at catcher, they traded for Denard Span to fill their only real lineup leak, and resigned Adam LaRoche to a reasonable contract which gives them an excellent trade chip (Michael Morse, now a back-up who was just traded to Seattle in a three-way deal that brought them a couple decent prospects because lord knows they don't have enough) all at the same time. Yes, paying $14 million to a reliever is too much especially when you have to give up a first round pick to do it, but I'm a big fan of this "going for it" thing and I'd say they're in pretty decent shape. At least until they shutdown Strasburg after 190 innings this year because, you know, you can never be too careful.
3. Butler Bulldogs. I don't know if it's Brad Stevens or what (NOTE: it's probably Brad Stevens) but Butler just keeps on going. When they made those back-to-back NCAA Championship games you kind of figured like, ok he found a few diamonds in the rough in Gordon Hayward, Shelvin Mack, and Matt Howard (really rough, in his case) and Stevens got them to perfectly come together for a magical run (or two) and then they'd go back to being Butler. When they missed the NCAA Tournament (made the CBI) last season everything looked confirmed. But now? First Stevens gets Rotnei Clarke, and ultra-experienced deadeye shooter who fits Butler's system perfectly, to come to Indy, joining a couple of decent players, and you figure Butler would probably be decent. Little did you know Clarke was going to play out of his mind and a couple promising youngsters would suddenly blossom into double-digit scorers. Then Clarke gets hurt against Richmond and you'd think Butler would slide, but they had no issue finishing up Richmond, and then played a really, really good Gonzaga team and did this:
I hate teams that are always good because I'm so unfamiliar with it. It's like an Amish who was dropped in Dubai.
4. Florida Gators. For my money, there are six teams (seven if you count my super sleeper VCU) who could potentially win the NCAA Championship this year - Louisville, Syracuse, Michigan, Indiana, Duke, and the sixth is Florida. For some reason they're only ranked 10th. Why? Because they have two losses, although those happen to be at Arizona (a one-loss team) in a game Florida controlled for 38 minutes before letting it slip away, and against a good Kansas State in Kansas City. Look at their recent results. After a week of dominating fools they've now won their four SEC games by 33 (vs. Georgia), 22 (@ LSU), 21 (@ Texas A&M), and 31 (vs. Missouri). I know Mizzou is in kind of a tailspin right now with Bowers hurt and Dixon having been kicked off the team, but beating that team by 31 is still damn impressive. Florida is one of the few teams in the country with a great offense and a great defense, with great players both on the perimeter and in the paint. I feel pretty effing good having gotten down on them at 12-1 to win the whole thing. Don't think, just do it.
5. Syracuse Orangemen. I've touted Louisville as my #1 team in the country so I need to give credit to the Orange for taking them down on the road, and actually this was the game that convinced me to put Cuse in that "could win the title" group because they played great in a tough environment. I have no idea why Syracuse has kind of been under my radar, but I assume it's because I'm an idiot. They're loaded at guard and play two point guards in Brandon Triche and Michael Carter-Williams, which they can get away with because they're 6-4 and 6-6, and an awesome front court that includes two great scorers (C.J. Fair and James Southerland) and a defensive superstar (Rakeem Christmas). Their only loss was to Temple at MSG, and they now have probably the best win of anyone this season with that roadie vs. the #1 team to legitimize them. They do have a big issue hanging over them with Southerland's indefinite suspension due to some kind of academic issue, but I would assume he'll be back soon enough given that Syracuse is a big time hoops school and so the administrators probably understand it's best to get him back on the court.
Stupid Joel Maturi.
WHO SUCKED
1. Gopher basketball. I'm not giving up on the season, thinking they suck, or anything like that. I mean they have three losses this season and they're all to teams that have been ranked in the top 3 this season, and only the Duke game was a double digit loss. What sucks, and why I have to put the Gophers here, is that I'm having trouble imagining them as a Final Four team anymore, simply because there have been stretches in all three losses where they've been absolutely dominated, and the domination wasn't for a short period of time but a very long one. Michigan outscored them 20-7 over a 7 minute period, Indiana had that entire first half, and Duke pretty much controlled the whole game. For much of this year I had considered the Gophers to be a possible Final Four contending team and maybe the best Gopher team of my life. That seems laughable now, as I'm fairly certain the '97 team would crush these guys.
That's not to say this can't be a very good year. I'm picturing the team now as a top 5 finisher in the Big 10 with like a 5 seed and a decent shot to make the Sweet 16. Wouldn't we all have taken that coming into the season? Of course we would have. By any measure (for the Gopher program) that's a successful season, it's just that it felt like the bar had been raised and that this might be a special team, rather than a very good one. It's hard to feel that way anymore after watching Michigan completely outclass them on their own court. Hopefully they can sweet these next four winnable games and I can feel a bit better, and even though I know this is a really good Gopher team it's hard not to feel a bit of a gut punch here. It's not the losses, it's the way they lost. Hopefully they learn and move on. I'm also now extremely terrified of going to Northwestern.
2. Los Angeles Lakers. I know I'm not exactly breaking new ground here because I think everyone is aware of the Lakers' struggles, but holy crap you guys. Anybody who ever watched sports new their might be an adjustment period bringing in Nash to play with a guy who dominates the ball like Kobe (similar to the LeBron/Wade pairing initially) but even if it took them a while to get it figured out with complimentary players like Dwight Howard and Pau Gasol you'd expect them, worst case, to end up being a very dangerous low seed in the playoffs as they finally figured it out. One problem - they're not figuring it out, and at 17-23 are in severe danger of missing the playoffs after losing to Toronto on Sunday (TORONTO!!) thanks in part to Howard getting booted for picking up two technicals. They've now lost eight of their last ten, and count losses to the Raptors, Cavs, Magic, and the Kings among their failures this year - those are some bad teams. Normally I would be enjoying this immensely, but I just acquired Kobe for my Fantasy NBA team and so now I don't hate him as much.
3. Jordan Hulls. So let me get this straight, the Underpants Gnome plays out of his mind against the Gophers but then plays like a total asshole against Wisconsin? And don't you dare credit Wisconsin for this either, because he was just total garbage who couldn't shoot, only bothered to take 1 three-pointer (seriously with that range he only attempted one? First time all year), and turned the ball over like he was giving it away for Valentine's Day to some handsome man. Plus he was outplayed by Ben Brust who sucks. And what was with Indiana doubling down on Ryan freaking Evans on the block? Just let him go to work, you'll be better off letting him shoot. The only possible explanations for this game was that Indiana felt invincible after beating the Gophers and forgot to try or Jordan Hulls threw the game. Also, why do I have so much trouble spelling invincible? Everything about this has my brain scrambled like Kevin Burleson trying to break a press.
4. Matt Ryan. I thought Ryan was getting a little too much heat for never having won a playoff game (probably because the Matty Ice nickname is so annoying) but it's hard to find a way to not blame that game on Ryan (with a major assist to the defense). I'll even forgive him the pick because Roddy White fell down, but there were plenty of unforgivable mistakes. The fumbled shot gun snap that San Fran recovered which hit him perfectly in the hands and not picking up a single first down after recovering the Crabtree fumble (giving the Niners great field position after a shitty punt) were both pretty awful, but Ryan saved his worst for the biggest play of the game. On that fourth down inside the 10 he forced the ball to a non-open White, never bothering to look at any other receive and thus missing an absolutely wide open Tony Gonzalez who had slipped behind the linebackers and there wasn't a safety over the top - easy TD. I should feel good about this loss because the Falcons screwed over the Vikings in '98, but I hate Jim Harbaugh, Ray Lewis, and the Patriots so Atlanta was my only chance to enjoy the Super Bowl. Hopefully they'll be good food.
5. Seattle Mariners. If I'm going to praise the Nationals for making a good move, I gotta point out that the Mariners apparently are assembling a softball team or something. After acquiring Michael Morse in the above mentioned trade, they now have all these guys: Morse, Raul Ibanez, Jason Bay, Kendrys Morales, Justin Smoak, and Jesus Montero. Which means that even if they plan to give Montero another shot to be a catcher (LOL) they've still got five mostly immobile types to try to shoehorn into a lineup. That means something like Montero at C, Ibanez in LF, Morse in RF, Morales at 1b, and either Smoak or Bay at DH with the other coming off the bench? Ibanez and Morse as two of your 3 outfielders? Franklin Gutierrez is very good, but he's not that good. I guess the real point is why even trade for Morse? Even if they've given up on Smoak (and if they have they should trade him to the Twins because I STILL BELIEVE DAMMIT) acquiring Morse brings nothing to you that you don't already have, and by trading John Jaso to do it you've severely downgraded your defense going to Montero, but they don't really have another choice because, again, they have way to many slow RF/DH/1b types to fit Montero's bat in any other way. Seattle has the potential for a pretty kick-ass future (seriously their minor league pitchers are top shelf) but if they keep fucking up the present like this it's not going to matter. Those Nintendo guys haven't done anything baseball-related right since Baseball Stars. Remember Baseball Stars 2? What were they thinking?
You'll notice I had the prudence to not write about this whole Manti Te'o thing because let's be honest, it's pretty played out at this point. Was a pretty good day on twitter, though. I also didn't write about hockey because it's a sport for cretins. See you soon with a preview of the Northwestern game. Or maybe just a link to the one I wrote like a week ago. Jesus aren't they supposed to space these games out?
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Merry Xmas
Merry Christmas, nerds. Two things:
1. Kobe Bryant now has 8 of the top 16 games in NBA history in terms of Field Goals Attempted. He also has just 7 of the top 100 games in NBA history in terms of field goals made.
2. This:
1. Kobe Bryant now has 8 of the top 16 games in NBA history in terms of Field Goals Attempted. He also has just 7 of the top 100 games in NBA history in terms of field goals made.
2. This:
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Super Shark is Super Puke
Well I have nothing better to do with my time and the Tivo is busy Tivo-ing so I can't watch the Twins, so might as well dip once again into the well and see what all I have as far as giant aquatic creature movies. Yes that's right, I'm once again going for the Live Movie Blog. As I look, I have Super Shark and Sharktopus on this TV, and I don't feel like going downstairs or walking all the way to the DVD cabinet so it's going to be one of these two. Super Shark is about a giant, prehistoric shark terrorizing a seaside town and stars the blonde Duke from Dukes of Hazzard who I think was Bo. Sharktopus is about exactly what you think it is and stars Julia Roberts brother. Both are off SyFy so possibility of nudity is nil in both cases. I'm going with Super Shark, it at least sounds like it has a chance to not suck, right? right?
- On IMDB this has a rating of 2.5/10. For reference, Piranhaconda was a 2.9. I'm fucked.
- Interesting wrinkle in that we're starting the movie off with military guys guarding a beach with big-ass guns. Usually that doesn't happen until later. And there''s the shark. Which just beached itself and isnot leaping about the sand like a god damn Super Mario Brother and roaring the entire time. Yes, roaring the entire time while bouncing around the beach like the sand was a trampompolline. And science-y looking chick says, "this isn't working" and then cut to credits. So we've got:
1. Shark roaring
2. Shark on land and mobile
3. A complete disregard for science
4. Ignoring of the Jaws formula of "tease, hint, but don't reveal your monster until later in the movie"
And we're one minute in. Great.
- ....one week earlier.....there are some dudes on an oil derrick who broke through the earth's crust or something and caused an earthquake where the "Super Shark" came out of the ground and somehow caused an explosion and then leaped out the water and grabbed part of the thing and pulled it under water. Yeah. I'm going to go refreshen this rum and coke so it's way stronger.
- Obligatory beach shot while credits run to music. No gratuitous shots of female body parts. This is rough.
- There's your gratuitous bikini shot right there, and on a sluttier looking Ana Faris kind of chick too. I dig.
- Her dude or whatever is scuba diving and asked her to throw a net into the water for some reason so she did and it made the super shark roar and then turn around like it was all mad. It's true, sharks hate nets that are thrown in the water for no reason.
- This is the girl who has been walking around in a bikini for like, 7 minutes. Well done SyFy, well done.
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| This is where 2.4 of that 2.5 rating come from |
- And now she's dead because the shark jumped out of the air and landed on the boat. Yep, I wish I was the kind of guy who could paint a picture with words because that was just shitty stupid. And that's twice now this shark has jumped, and like 5-8 times if you include that opening scene. I think the producer/director/writer of this watched Air Jaws a few too many times.
- In this movie, Quint will be played by a hawaiian shirt wearing, cowboy hat wearing, swisher sweet smoking, fruity umbrella drink with a bendy straw drinking, sunglasses around the neck on a string having caricature of Jimmy Buffet. Christ.
- Science chick just told Buffet that he should take her to the site of the oil platform crash or whatever and gave him a bunch of money and he said it's off limits and she said "my badge says Oceanic Investigation Bureau, it'll get us past anyone." That can't be a real thing, right? Then on the boat ride out she takes off the fancy jacket and nice blouse so she can just sunbathe in a bikini. Not that I'm arguing, but that can't be consider professional conduct by the Oceanic Investigation Bureau. If she's not careful she's going to get a censure.
- I'm 17 minutes into this movie. 17. Shit.
- FYI: Josh Willingham is officially known as "Mrs. W's boyfriend" around our house. Just thought ya'll should know.
- Science chick is now telling Luke Duke that the area where that oil platform sank is loaded with chemicals. Well no shit. then she gets all hard-assy on him and he manages to somehow turn that into a dinner date. Oh, I'm sure she doesn't think of it as a date, but once she has a couple glasses of wine and he turns on that duke boy charm her pants will be on the floor of the General Lee before she even realizes she's been roofied.
- The shark roared again.
- Ooh, there was a survivor of the oil rig accident. Which honestly doesn't make a lick of sense because the whole thing blew up and was then pulled underwater by the most roaringest shark since Jaws 4.
- Plus this guy (we'll call him Kobe because he looks like Kobe) actually saw the shark, which is also stupid because in that scene Kobe was down in bowels of station or whatever and then somehow apparently sprinted to the top where he saw the shark and then somehow survived when the whole top level exploded and also survived when it got pulled over. He really is like Kobe, except he'd probably recognize the talent he has in the paint and work to get them involved in the offense.
- Suddenly now there's a navy sub for some reason. I know it's the Navy because the operators are all wearing the kind of NAVY hats you can buy at Walmart.
- The shark is ramming the sub with it's head at it's side, kind of in a "I'd really like to get to know you biblically" kind of way. Sexy.
- Never mind it bit the sub in half instead. Man, talk about a violent relationship. This shark's got nothing on Dez Bryant, who, by the way, is a cornerstone in my rebuilding effort in our Fantasy Football keeper league. Ass.
- THERE WAS POTASSIUM FELDSPAR IN THE WATER! It HYDROLIZES INTO KAOLINITE AND QUARTZ AND POTASSIUM HYDROXIDE! IT CAN CREATE A CHEMICAL THAT CAN BREAK DOWN ROCKS!
- This lady is a dummy. She thinks this hyrdolizing thing caused the rocks around the base of the oil platform to crumble thus causing it to sink. Stupid lady, we all know it was a shark. Excuse me, a super shark.
- Potassium Feldspar is used to make glass and ceramics. Kaolinite is used in medicines and paper manufacturing. Quartz is quartz. Potassium Hydroxide is actually corrosive, but in a way where it's used in batteries and cuticle removers, but it's most common use is to make soap and biodiesel which I assume is some kind of fuel. Hydrolysis is a real thing that means the breakdown of chemicals by the addition of water. So in theory all of those words science lady used could happen, except for the part where it created something that basically melted rock. Also known as, "the whole half-assed scientific theory this movie is based on." Plus the shark roars.
- By the way, congrats should go out to Snacks and Mrs. Snacks as they welcomed their first child, Baby Lukas, into the world late Monday evening. Pretty cool stuff, though I would have gone with a "c".
- Two life guard girls who have been in several scenes but have been too boring to mention are now at some karaoke bar with some dude that looks like that mean guy from the OC but isn't. Also earlier that one lifeguard lady was like telling the other lifeguard lady how they'd have a big party for her birthday but now it's just the three of them and this is very sad. But it turns out there's a bikini contest, so all is not lost.
- This bikini contest is sad. And a sad bikini contest is the saddest thing of all.
- Oh snap! The birthday girl life guard girl decided to join the contest and be brave and strip because of course she had her bikini on under her clothes and she was all happy until she turned and looked and saw OC guy and other lifeguard girl guy making out. Sad. Reminded me of when Screech saw Zack and Lisa making out before the fashion show at the Max. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.
- I wasn't paying attention and there was an Advil commercial that I thought was part of the movie. I'm not sure if that says more about this movie or me but I'm a stupid free blogger and this is a movie that presumably cost 10s of thousands of dollars I assume. Right? 100s? I don't know. How much does something like this cost? And what can the profit margin possibly be? Like 8 bucks? I hope.
- These lifeguards broads are arguing over that OC dude and then the one who didn't get the guy said I wish I was dead and then the shark ate her by jumping on the beach which is genius. Then it ate her traitorous friend by jumping again and eating her. The shark bouncing through sand is actually starting to win me over. It's the stupidest thing ever other than Sex and the City but god damn at least they're consistent. Something to be said for that I assume but I'm drunk so shut your mother.
- The shark just ate somebody. I don't know. What am I, Kreskin?
- Man, the Oceanic Bureau of Investigation sure does have a lax dresscode, because she's just out there and loving any minute of it. and it worked because her and Jimmy Buffet guy just found he shark, AND IT'S CIRCLING THE BOAT! The wake trailing behind the dorsal fin also looks like a child drew it with crayon.
- Huh. It seems that if you turn off your radio a giant prehistoric shark that is circling your boat for no real reason will leave. Actually, now Investigator Boobsy explains that the shark was giving off it's own radio waves that were interfering with the boat's radio. Yep, that's their explanation.
- Bikini photo shoot on the beach. I fear for these ladies lives. But of course, the killer animal in this is a shark and they aren't actually in the water, so clearly they're safe. Of course they're not safe you fool! Did you forget we aren't dealing with some kind of regular old Tom Gugliotta of sharks, this is like, the kind of sharks! The Kevin Durant or Rico Tucker of sharks! And right on cue sharky boy jumps onto the beach and eats the photographer and both girls, but not before the blond one tries to beat it up by using a beach umbrella as a javelin or a jousting stick thing. It didn't work.
- Science lady, who it turns out is not an actual investigator with the ocean CSI or whatever but is in reality a hippie who hates people who drill for sweet, sweet oil, is now hammered at the bar because apparently she hates sharks or something. I don't know. I'd post a picture of the young lass but sadly I can't find a good one. Or I'm struggling to use google properly.
- Here comes the army or whatever to try to kill the shark before the big 4th of July festivities. I was going to make a joke here but I got nothin'.
- Speaking of gotting nothing, we went to a meat raffle tonight - me, TRE, Dr. Acula, Theory, and Lunny and TRE won twice (two $20 giftcards to a meat store), Theory won once (one giftcard), I won once (Six burgundy pepper marinated strip steaks), and Dr. Acula and Lunny were shutout in your face. I don't have any idea if those steaks are good but I won and wanted steak and it was either that or kabobs and the kabobs had vegetables on them and I didn't go to a vegetable raffle.
- Fake Dr. boobsy is winning me over. Mostly with the cleavage. Also winning me over? When I logged into an online sportsbook I hadn't used in about a year and saw over $300 in there. Sweet. Can't wait to blow it.
- We're back at the part with the army on the beach from before. I bet you guys like, $80 the shark jumps on the beach and eats that tank and all that shit.
- Bullets seem to only make super shark mad. Also this looks like something my son could creaate with his toy shark and army men, plus a little ketchup. Shark is actually walking on the beach on it's fins right now. I might be drunk enough for this to be sweet. Also, and this is quite the run-on post already, sharks hate fire. Apparently.
- Shark dude just jumped way the eff up in the air and took down Maverick and Goose. Probably a deleted scene from Top Gun.
- Best British Open Bets (to win): Sergio 30-1, Poulter 40-1, Furyk 40-1, Johnson 40-1, Stricker 60-1.
- Everyone is now listening to crazy fake ocean cop lady. She, with no examination mind you, says the shark has too tough of skin to shoot and is completely neutralized and/or driven crazy by radio waves because it omits waves, also claims it flies because it jumps, can walk on it's fins, and was trapped in rock, but was still alive, and escaped after the hydrolizing agent was used by the oil companies. And she delivers it so earnestly it's like she forgot what movie she is in.
- Mayor guy or whoever doesn't really care except to say "Those beaches must be open for the fourth of July." Pretty sure Jaws guy did this better.
- And she's sexing Jimmy Buffet guy who is once again wearing a Hawaiian shirt. This movie makes me hurt.
- The army dudes are going with some kind of walking tank, while Jimmy Buffet and his lady are rocking some pretty serious speakers. I will bet you $40 right now they end up doing something like cranking up the radio and it makes the sharks head explode. $40.
- That stupid tank thing misses the shark by like 90 feet every time it tries to shoot. Stupid tank.
- This. This is.....just indescribable. there are no words. It's just jumping around on the beach like Misti May (who married shitty baseball player Matt Traynor, by the way).
 |
| This is what you get when you're a failed baseball player. |
- Fake science lady blew up the shark by throwing a boombox in it's mouth. I think there was something about explosives in there too but I wasn't really paying attention because I was busy looking for pictures and doesn't it just seem right that throwing a boombox in the sharks mouth and like, turning it on or something would fit this movie well. I think so, and that's how I choose to believe this ended. Makes it easier when i think about how I spent my time watching this instead of gambling.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Six Very Important Things from Last Night - 05/26/2011
What's that? A post in the patented "6 Things" format? Righteous! Well aren't you lucky. And go:
1. The Twins still suck. This time it was Erik Bedard who shut them down, causing Gardenhire to say retarded Gardenhire things like "filthy", "great stuff", and "guys were swinging and missing by a foot." Now that last one might be true, but I'd say it had more to do with the Twins being terrible, terrible, terrible at hitting than anything to do with Erik Bedard. The same Bedard who hasn't been filthy - or pitched in the majors - since 2009 and was lit up by both the Indians and Royals earlier this year. I will admit he's been pretty solid lately, but I refuse to give him any credit or any pitcher who shuts down the Twins any credit because these guys are god damn terrible. They have two guys hitting above .270, only 5 guys with an OBP over .300, and 3 guys slugging over .400 and two of those are part-timers (Plouffe, Thome). To be completely honest with you, I'm pretty sure Ila Borders could start and would allow less than 3 runs to these cream puffs.
2. Zack Attack is back, Jack. In news that feels AL Central related but isn't, Zack Greinke finally put together a vintage Zack Greinke performance yesterday afternoon going seven strong innings, striking out 10 and allowing just a 3-run homer to Mike Morse (note: who? his name may not actually be Mike. I didn't look it up.) to wreck a very nice day. And, just to add on to his re-breakout performance, he also hit a ding dong which gave the Brewers a 4-3 lead. It was Greinke's first time throwing 100 pitches since returning from injury, and he looked damn good. This now gives the Brewers a very good rotation on paper: Greinke, Marcum, Narveson, Wolf, and Gallardo, except not on paper Marcum is the only one whose been worth a damn. Luckily their offense has been good enough to keep them just 2.5 games out of first. If Greinke has it together it's going to be huge for them. Of course, as soon as the Milwaukee media starts asking tough questions he'll probably crumple into fetal position and cry to his mom.
3. The future may be bleak. ESPN came out with their first set of team recruiting rankings for 2012 and of the top 10 (that's all they rank) you'll find four Big Ten teams. Indiana is #1 (fo real) with four ESPN top 100 guys already signed, highlighted by big time PG Kevin Farrell and some weirdo with the first name Hanner. Michigan State is ranked #3 with some highly rated white dudes, Purdue is #8 with a handful of really good back court players, and Michigan ranks tenth with Glenn Robinson's kid and the second coming of Jon Deibler. The Gophers' list of 2012 commits? Zero. Joy.
4. This happened Tuesday night, but what happened to Derrick Rose? I know he's basically the reason the Bulls have gotten as far as they have, but whoa how bad did he choke in that game? He couldn't hit anything most of the game, but saved his most special screw-ups for crunch time - a great trait in your crunch time player. First he made only one of two free throws with just over a minute left and the Bulls down by one. Then, he missed a mid-range jumper that would have given the Bulls the lead with 28 seconds left, and followed that up by by air-balling the potential game winner at the end of regulation by forcing a fade away weird forced thing. Then, in overtime, he failed to score a single point (and only managed one shot) and committed a crucial turnover with just over a minute left and the Bulls down 4. There's no doubt he's one of the five best young players in the NBA, but watching that game was like watching Chris Webber call that timeout again, but stretched out for an entire half + overtime.
5. Speaking of the NBA, Kobe must want full control of the Lakers. I can't think of any other reason the team would hire Mike freaking Brown, who is most famous for failing to get the most out of Lebron James and helping hasten his departure out of town, helping to turn Cleveland into even more of a wasteland than it already was, but without their one shining hope - like what would happen to Fargo if some intrepid young soul was to burn NDSU to the ground. Basically his entire idea of coaching offense is to give the ball to his star and just let him and wait a minute I totally get it. Kobe would have definitely had a large hand in deciding who was going to be the next Laker coach, and a coach with no clue on how to run a coherent offense who is almost totally dependent on his star player to create points is perfect for a selfish son of a bitch like Bryant. Everybody knows there are two things Kobe loves: being completely in charge of the basketball, and naive 17-year old hotel managers.
6. Finally, late tonight the old man Mavericks knocked off the Thunder to advance to the NBA finals. For the second straight game the Thunder seemed in control of the game, but once again Dallas came back in the end to get the win, this time thanks to not one but two open three-point looks for Dirk Nowitzki with the Mavs trailing in the final couple of minutes. Dirk hit the second one to give Dallas the lead and they never looked back. I hope to god they can beat the Heat in the finals, because make no mistake this is probably the worst version of this Heat team we're going to get. They're still in some ways learning to play together and I'm pretty sure they'll figure out a way to upgrade their supported cast in the coming seasons. Do you really want a Heat dynasty? Better than a Laker one, at least, but Dirk deserves a ring. I'm 100% Maverick fan now.
Also the Phillies/Reds played 19 innings last night, with the Phillies finally pulling it out on a sac fly by Raul Ibanez. It seems like the kind of thing that I could fit into my six relevant things or whatever, but it's the national league so let's be honest nobody gives a crap. The two teams combined to use 16 pitchers, all of whom are better than anybody the Twins have on their roster.
1. The Twins still suck. This time it was Erik Bedard who shut them down, causing Gardenhire to say retarded Gardenhire things like "filthy", "great stuff", and "guys were swinging and missing by a foot." Now that last one might be true, but I'd say it had more to do with the Twins being terrible, terrible, terrible at hitting than anything to do with Erik Bedard. The same Bedard who hasn't been filthy - or pitched in the majors - since 2009 and was lit up by both the Indians and Royals earlier this year. I will admit he's been pretty solid lately, but I refuse to give him any credit or any pitcher who shuts down the Twins any credit because these guys are god damn terrible. They have two guys hitting above .270, only 5 guys with an OBP over .300, and 3 guys slugging over .400 and two of those are part-timers (Plouffe, Thome). To be completely honest with you, I'm pretty sure Ila Borders could start and would allow less than 3 runs to these cream puffs.
2. Zack Attack is back, Jack. In news that feels AL Central related but isn't, Zack Greinke finally put together a vintage Zack Greinke performance yesterday afternoon going seven strong innings, striking out 10 and allowing just a 3-run homer to Mike Morse (note: who? his name may not actually be Mike. I didn't look it up.) to wreck a very nice day. And, just to add on to his re-breakout performance, he also hit a ding dong which gave the Brewers a 4-3 lead. It was Greinke's first time throwing 100 pitches since returning from injury, and he looked damn good. This now gives the Brewers a very good rotation on paper: Greinke, Marcum, Narveson, Wolf, and Gallardo, except not on paper Marcum is the only one whose been worth a damn. Luckily their offense has been good enough to keep them just 2.5 games out of first. If Greinke has it together it's going to be huge for them. Of course, as soon as the Milwaukee media starts asking tough questions he'll probably crumple into fetal position and cry to his mom.
3. The future may be bleak. ESPN came out with their first set of team recruiting rankings for 2012 and of the top 10 (that's all they rank) you'll find four Big Ten teams. Indiana is #1 (fo real) with four ESPN top 100 guys already signed, highlighted by big time PG Kevin Farrell and some weirdo with the first name Hanner. Michigan State is ranked #3 with some highly rated white dudes, Purdue is #8 with a handful of really good back court players, and Michigan ranks tenth with Glenn Robinson's kid and the second coming of Jon Deibler. The Gophers' list of 2012 commits? Zero. Joy.
4. This happened Tuesday night, but what happened to Derrick Rose? I know he's basically the reason the Bulls have gotten as far as they have, but whoa how bad did he choke in that game? He couldn't hit anything most of the game, but saved his most special screw-ups for crunch time - a great trait in your crunch time player. First he made only one of two free throws with just over a minute left and the Bulls down by one. Then, he missed a mid-range jumper that would have given the Bulls the lead with 28 seconds left, and followed that up by by air-balling the potential game winner at the end of regulation by forcing a fade away weird forced thing. Then, in overtime, he failed to score a single point (and only managed one shot) and committed a crucial turnover with just over a minute left and the Bulls down 4. There's no doubt he's one of the five best young players in the NBA, but watching that game was like watching Chris Webber call that timeout again, but stretched out for an entire half + overtime.
5. Speaking of the NBA, Kobe must want full control of the Lakers. I can't think of any other reason the team would hire Mike freaking Brown, who is most famous for failing to get the most out of Lebron James and helping hasten his departure out of town, helping to turn Cleveland into even more of a wasteland than it already was, but without their one shining hope - like what would happen to Fargo if some intrepid young soul was to burn NDSU to the ground. Basically his entire idea of coaching offense is to give the ball to his star and just let him and wait a minute I totally get it. Kobe would have definitely had a large hand in deciding who was going to be the next Laker coach, and a coach with no clue on how to run a coherent offense who is almost totally dependent on his star player to create points is perfect for a selfish son of a bitch like Bryant. Everybody knows there are two things Kobe loves: being completely in charge of the basketball, and naive 17-year old hotel managers.
6. Finally, late tonight the old man Mavericks knocked off the Thunder to advance to the NBA finals. For the second straight game the Thunder seemed in control of the game, but once again Dallas came back in the end to get the win, this time thanks to not one but two open three-point looks for Dirk Nowitzki with the Mavs trailing in the final couple of minutes. Dirk hit the second one to give Dallas the lead and they never looked back. I hope to god they can beat the Heat in the finals, because make no mistake this is probably the worst version of this Heat team we're going to get. They're still in some ways learning to play together and I'm pretty sure they'll figure out a way to upgrade their supported cast in the coming seasons. Do you really want a Heat dynasty? Better than a Laker one, at least, but Dirk deserves a ring. I'm 100% Maverick fan now.
Also the Phillies/Reds played 19 innings last night, with the Phillies finally pulling it out on a sac fly by Raul Ibanez. It seems like the kind of thing that I could fit into my six relevant things or whatever, but it's the national league so let's be honest nobody gives a crap. The two teams combined to use 16 pitchers, all of whom are better than anybody the Twins have on their roster.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Can You Feel the Excitement?
NBA Finals, Game 7. It feels like it's been a while since we've had one of these, or at least one between teams that mattered. See, I generally always watch the NBA Playoffs (although I skip the regular season), but I wouldn't say I really ever get excited for them - more like "interested." I would say my usual level of excitement for them is somewhere between waiting in line at the DMV and watching an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse for the 800th time (unless it's the one with the dragon, that one rocks). So why do I watch every year? I guess I'm waiting to get excited.
As you can then imagine, I'm pretty thrilled that my current level of excitement has reached "hearing the ice cream man's bell" levels going into this game. If we get something good here, I'm hoping to at least approach "Audrina just asked me to join her in the shower" levels. At this point I don't really even care who wins (although I'd prefer the Celtics, and I'd prefer Ray Allen win the MVP at 8-1), I just want a good, exciting game. Hopefully somebody will hit a big shot with time winding down in the fourth or a buzzer beater of some kind. I'll even take a big shot by Kobe, even though he's pretty much a dickmitten. I just want to see something good.
This won't be a live blog of the game per se, but I'll be watching and tossing out random thoughts as I think of them. Try to stay with me here.
8:44 1Q - Lakers are looking to pund it low to Gasol and Bynum. That is a really good strategy, which means bad news for the Celtics. And by the way, I am no longer rooting for a close game if i tmeans the Lakers win. It took 3 minutes of watching Kobe, who is now whining about a Rondo foul, to hate them again.
6:54 1Q - I love how they're playing Kobe. Ray Allen playing tough, in-your-face one-on-one, and they're doubling him every time. But they aren't sending the double until he puts it on the floor and starts his move. He seems to be in "I'm Michael Jordan" mode tonight, and he's taking his sweet time getting a shot up so teh double is really affecting him. He's like, 0-3 with couple turnovers already, and the last time down he tried a turnaround fade-away with both Pierce and Allen on him from about 18 feet and hit the top of the backboard. I love it.
5:10 1Q - Wallace out for Boston, Glen Davis in. This is where it gets interesting, because Davis can't score on Bynum, and he can't stop Bynum. Due to Bynum's knee injury though, he can only play limited minutes. I'm a little surprised Rivers is going to Davis already, but I guess with Wallace's bad back and explosive temper you have to pick your spots.
3:52 1Q - Kobe ended up on KG on a switch, fell asleep, and gave up an easy alley-oop dunk. He's really not having a very good first quarter. If this double-teaming defense can frustrate him and get in his head, this could get ugly for the Lakers.
1:36 1Q - My bad, Glen Davis now has 6 points in about 3 minutes, all against either Bynum or Gasol. Now Odom's in. He's a huge key for LA. If he's dialed in, he can destroy either Davis or Wallace. If he's just floating around, dreaming about candy and women who are built like men, he's going to get killed by either of them.
0:00 1Q - 23-14 Celtics after one. Really couldn't have gone much better.
10:43 2Q - Rondo takes a jumper from the elbow and misses. They're going to give him that shot for infinity and if he can't make them pay it's going to be tough for the Celtics to win. He's got to be able to hit that shot.
9:24 2Q - The Lakers have 12 offensive rebounds already, and they're still down 4 after scoring the first five of this half. Incredible. Celtics are playing amazing defense, but just can't get the rebound.
8:44 2Q - So I have some bad news. It seems my body can no longer handle jalapenos. At work the cafeteria has an awesome taco salad, but it's best with jalapenos and this jalapeno salsa. But it destroys me. Like, it wrecks my whole night and I can barely walk by the end of the evening. I've tried with just jalapenos and no salsa, and with just salsa and no actual jalapenos, but no matter what I almost die every time. That is not an exaggeration. It's similar to taking a bunch of Taco Bell's fire sauce, dumping them into a shot glass, sprinkling Ex-Lax on top, and then using it wash down a meal of White Castle and fire.
6:34 2Q - Ray Allen can no longer shoot. This is the most depressing thing I've ever seen. It's like in Superman II, when Superman decides he loves Lois Lane so much that he gives up his powers for her for some stupid reason (probably because all women are evil) and then they go to that diner and he gets beaten up by that hick guy who probably loves "muddin'" in his crappy jeep.
8:18 2Q - And we're tied. 9 straight for LA.
4:22 2Q - Artest seems to be under the impression that he can shoot. That is good news for the Celtics. At this point he's like the guy at open gym who got lucky and hit a couple of threes one day, so now he's convinced he's a shooter, and so you just dare him to shoot and it's like watching Snake and Dawger play a game of HORSE. Clang clang clang.
2:48 2Q - Wow does Derek Fisher whine. WonderbabyTM whines less when you take away her little fairy wand. I mean baseball. Her baseball.
1:22 2Q - Artest goads Pierce into a double-technical. Not smart - at all - by Pierce.
0:41 2Q - I'm not sure who these announcers are, but one of them has the exact cadence of Trent Tucker. It's awesome. "What the Timba-wooves need to do hea, is take the ball........to the bas-ket." Also I think I lied, this is definitely a live blog. I didn't mean it.
HALF - Celtics up 40-34. In a game this ugly, it's easy to expect the Lakers to kick it in gear in the second half, but that would be discounting the Celtics incredible defense. It would be like blaming the Twins for only scoring 1 run against Ubaldo Jimenez this afternoon instead of crediting his pitching. What's that? Mauer sat out because he "took too many foul tips?" That can't be possible. I don't believe you. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. It's far too preposterous to be true. That would mean Butera, Valencia, Punto, and Tolbert all would have had to play against Ubaldo. They did? Wow. I gotta say, in that case scoring 1 run is basically a victory, no?
10:55 3Q - Allen misses again. I'm going to go ahead and consider that MVP bet a loss. Damn dude. Big State will never want you now.
10:30 3Q - Kobe launches one from about 6 feet behind the three-point line. Getting desperate, and activating Chucker ModeTM despite the fact that he can't get any open looks. Maybe Allen needs to be considered for MVP after all.
9:45 3Q - Celtics up 11 now after a Rondo floater. Also we have Tornado and Thunderstorm warnings all over the place tell you to "take shelter in a structure that is not a mobile home." Sorry Nickelback fans.
8:20 3Q - 49-36 Celtics, and Rondo has the MVP sewn up if Boston doesn't blow this. And what's funny about that, is if the Lakers were up 13 right now, I'd be tempted to just turn the game off and chalk up as a win for evil (like Empire Strikes Back). But it's so hard to believe the Lakers won't make a run, so I'm actually nervous for Boston. Like right there Ray Allen threw a pass that was intercepted by Derek Fisher. Do you know how terrible a pass has to be to be intercepted by Derek Fisher? Let me put it this way, it would take Brett Favre's career-worth of Brooks Bollinger playing QB to have Fisher pick one off. Also, related - hey Pete Rose of basketball - go ahead and hang 'em up anytime.
7:34 3Q - Wait, the NBA draft is next Thursday already? Awesome. That is always a fun time.
6:20 3Q - Gasol can't guard KG. That's at least the third time KG has just blown by him from the perimeter. God damn I still love that insane mofo. I'm willing to bet at least 50 bucks he's killed somebody at some point. Also mini-Laker run, lead down to 6.
3:25 3Q - Rasheed has been ridiculously good tonight. This would be like if Adam Morrison came off the Lakers bench and hit a bunch of threes. Admit it, you giggled thinking of Morrison.
2:12 3Q - Ray Allen with a huge steal against Kobe. Man, if he was playing any offense at all he'd have MVP wrapped up thanks to some pretty incredible defense on Kobe in the series, particularly in the fourth quarters. I don't know what the numbers are, but he's been awful in fourth quarters. Hopefully that continues.
1:24 3Q - Allen now 1-9. Other than his monster game 2 and a good game 6, he's been brutal. Time to bring it in Q4. Luckily Kobe is 5-20. I hated Jordan, but anybody who compares Kobe to him ever again should probably just have their throat ripped out, Dalton-style.
0:00 3Q - C's up 57-53. Best replay ever is Garnet screaming "mother fu...." right after scoring on Gasol and right before ABC cut away. Very nice. Pretty sure this one is coming down to whoever decides to actually make shots, Ray Allen or Kobe. Fingers crossed for Ray.
Also what happened to Heath Slocum? The guy was looking like a genius longshot pick, and now I look and he's at +4. Which is 3 shots better than my pick to win, since Hunter Mahan shot a 78! And Ben Crane, maybe the hottest golfer on the planet, shot an 80! Good god, and 80! I thought this US Open would be a little more reasonable since it was at Pebble. I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm betting -4 ends up taking this thing in the end. Hopefully it ends up being Karlsson or Furyk.
10:22 4Q - Pierce making some horrendous decisions when it comes to shot selection. Honest to god it's like Pierce and Kobe are filming a Bad Idea JeansTM commercial. "Normally I wear protection, but I figured, when am I going to be in Haiti again?"
8:23 4Q - Allen with a floater over two Lakers to put the Celtics up 61-58. Maybe that's the shot he needs to get going. Come on Jesus. I love you Jesus.
7:13 4Q - Kobe actually has sex with Ray Allen as he goes up for a jumper. When he's called for the foul, he reacts as I'm sure O.J. did when they told him he was accused of murder. One difference: Kobe was guilty, while O.J. was innocent.
5:56 4Q - Tied at 64. Kobe heading to the line. I don't like where this is going. Celtics offense has disappeared. Come on, Ray. This is sick.
5:56 4Q - I thought about it, and even though it's over, I'm going to tell my wife about the afffair.
5:33 4Q - Allen misses another jumper. Kobe hits one on the other end. Lakers by four. This feels over. I also think Mark Jackson (announcing the game) is likely retarded in some fashion.
5:33 4Q - They use an Eminem song in the trailer for the video game Call of Duty? I....I....I....I literally can't think of anything to say. I am completely stupified right now. Completely.
Well, he's an ex free-base addict, and he's trying to turn it around, and he needs a place to stay for a couple of months.
4:38 - I don't mean to sound like some crybaby chowderhead or anything, but the refs are clearly handing this to LA at this point.
4:13 - Allen with a missed layup. Jesus.
3:05 - You can really tell the Lake show is feeling it. They're playing better defense now than they have all game. Three point Laker lead, Gasol going to the line. Hopefully the Lakers win by less than seven.
2:20 - Lakers up 74-68, and they've made about 20 free throws thsi quarter. Thanks refs. Lakers up 32-15 in free throw attemps. I don't even know why I watch this crap. Let's all cheer ourselves up for a moment:
Better? Better.
1:30 - Ballgame.
1:23 - Rasheed 3 pointer. 76-73. Interesting.
1:01 - Artest with a 28-footer. Clearly it's meant to be. Or, Allen answers with a three. Crazy right now. Like a typical sorority after I show up.
0:26 - Kobe misses a three, but Gasol with the rebound and Kobe ends up getting fouled. As was clear early, LA offensive boards are the key. Fuck this sucks. I really hate that guy. Congrats David Stern. No matter how much you orchestrate it ( and the refs made it clear their was a mandate) this dickmitten will never be another Jordan. And I hated Jordan.
0:00 - Gay.
As you can then imagine, I'm pretty thrilled that my current level of excitement has reached "hearing the ice cream man's bell" levels going into this game. If we get something good here, I'm hoping to at least approach "Audrina just asked me to join her in the shower" levels. At this point I don't really even care who wins (although I'd prefer the Celtics, and I'd prefer Ray Allen win the MVP at 8-1), I just want a good, exciting game. Hopefully somebody will hit a big shot with time winding down in the fourth or a buzzer beater of some kind. I'll even take a big shot by Kobe, even though he's pretty much a dickmitten. I just want to see something good.
This won't be a live blog of the game per se, but I'll be watching and tossing out random thoughts as I think of them. Try to stay with me here.
8:44 1Q - Lakers are looking to pund it low to Gasol and Bynum. That is a really good strategy, which means bad news for the Celtics. And by the way, I am no longer rooting for a close game if i tmeans the Lakers win. It took 3 minutes of watching Kobe, who is now whining about a Rondo foul, to hate them again.
6:54 1Q - I love how they're playing Kobe. Ray Allen playing tough, in-your-face one-on-one, and they're doubling him every time. But they aren't sending the double until he puts it on the floor and starts his move. He seems to be in "I'm Michael Jordan" mode tonight, and he's taking his sweet time getting a shot up so teh double is really affecting him. He's like, 0-3 with couple turnovers already, and the last time down he tried a turnaround fade-away with both Pierce and Allen on him from about 18 feet and hit the top of the backboard. I love it.
5:10 1Q - Wallace out for Boston, Glen Davis in. This is where it gets interesting, because Davis can't score on Bynum, and he can't stop Bynum. Due to Bynum's knee injury though, he can only play limited minutes. I'm a little surprised Rivers is going to Davis already, but I guess with Wallace's bad back and explosive temper you have to pick your spots.
3:52 1Q - Kobe ended up on KG on a switch, fell asleep, and gave up an easy alley-oop dunk. He's really not having a very good first quarter. If this double-teaming defense can frustrate him and get in his head, this could get ugly for the Lakers.
1:36 1Q - My bad, Glen Davis now has 6 points in about 3 minutes, all against either Bynum or Gasol. Now Odom's in. He's a huge key for LA. If he's dialed in, he can destroy either Davis or Wallace. If he's just floating around, dreaming about candy and women who are built like men, he's going to get killed by either of them.
0:00 1Q - 23-14 Celtics after one. Really couldn't have gone much better.
10:43 2Q - Rondo takes a jumper from the elbow and misses. They're going to give him that shot for infinity and if he can't make them pay it's going to be tough for the Celtics to win. He's got to be able to hit that shot.
9:24 2Q - The Lakers have 12 offensive rebounds already, and they're still down 4 after scoring the first five of this half. Incredible. Celtics are playing amazing defense, but just can't get the rebound.
8:44 2Q - So I have some bad news. It seems my body can no longer handle jalapenos. At work the cafeteria has an awesome taco salad, but it's best with jalapenos and this jalapeno salsa. But it destroys me. Like, it wrecks my whole night and I can barely walk by the end of the evening. I've tried with just jalapenos and no salsa, and with just salsa and no actual jalapenos, but no matter what I almost die every time. That is not an exaggeration. It's similar to taking a bunch of Taco Bell's fire sauce, dumping them into a shot glass, sprinkling Ex-Lax on top, and then using it wash down a meal of White Castle and fire.
6:34 2Q - Ray Allen can no longer shoot. This is the most depressing thing I've ever seen. It's like in Superman II, when Superman decides he loves Lois Lane so much that he gives up his powers for her for some stupid reason (probably because all women are evil) and then they go to that diner and he gets beaten up by that hick guy who probably loves "muddin'" in his crappy jeep.
8:18 2Q - And we're tied. 9 straight for LA.
4:22 2Q - Artest seems to be under the impression that he can shoot. That is good news for the Celtics. At this point he's like the guy at open gym who got lucky and hit a couple of threes one day, so now he's convinced he's a shooter, and so you just dare him to shoot and it's like watching Snake and Dawger play a game of HORSE. Clang clang clang.
2:48 2Q - Wow does Derek Fisher whine. WonderbabyTM whines less when you take away her little fairy wand. I mean baseball. Her baseball.
1:22 2Q - Artest goads Pierce into a double-technical. Not smart - at all - by Pierce.
0:41 2Q - I'm not sure who these announcers are, but one of them has the exact cadence of Trent Tucker. It's awesome. "What the Timba-wooves need to do hea, is take the ball........to the bas-ket." Also I think I lied, this is definitely a live blog. I didn't mean it.
HALF - Celtics up 40-34. In a game this ugly, it's easy to expect the Lakers to kick it in gear in the second half, but that would be discounting the Celtics incredible defense. It would be like blaming the Twins for only scoring 1 run against Ubaldo Jimenez this afternoon instead of crediting his pitching. What's that? Mauer sat out because he "took too many foul tips?" That can't be possible. I don't believe you. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. It's far too preposterous to be true. That would mean Butera, Valencia, Punto, and Tolbert all would have had to play against Ubaldo. They did? Wow. I gotta say, in that case scoring 1 run is basically a victory, no?
10:55 3Q - Allen misses again. I'm going to go ahead and consider that MVP bet a loss. Damn dude. Big State will never want you now.
10:30 3Q - Kobe launches one from about 6 feet behind the three-point line. Getting desperate, and activating Chucker ModeTM despite the fact that he can't get any open looks. Maybe Allen needs to be considered for MVP after all.
9:45 3Q - Celtics up 11 now after a Rondo floater. Also we have Tornado and Thunderstorm warnings all over the place tell you to "take shelter in a structure that is not a mobile home." Sorry Nickelback fans.
8:20 3Q - 49-36 Celtics, and Rondo has the MVP sewn up if Boston doesn't blow this. And what's funny about that, is if the Lakers were up 13 right now, I'd be tempted to just turn the game off and chalk up as a win for evil (like Empire Strikes Back). But it's so hard to believe the Lakers won't make a run, so I'm actually nervous for Boston. Like right there Ray Allen threw a pass that was intercepted by Derek Fisher. Do you know how terrible a pass has to be to be intercepted by Derek Fisher? Let me put it this way, it would take Brett Favre's career-worth of Brooks Bollinger playing QB to have Fisher pick one off. Also, related - hey Pete Rose of basketball - go ahead and hang 'em up anytime.
7:34 3Q - Wait, the NBA draft is next Thursday already? Awesome. That is always a fun time.
6:20 3Q - Gasol can't guard KG. That's at least the third time KG has just blown by him from the perimeter. God damn I still love that insane mofo. I'm willing to bet at least 50 bucks he's killed somebody at some point. Also mini-Laker run, lead down to 6.
3:25 3Q - Rasheed has been ridiculously good tonight. This would be like if Adam Morrison came off the Lakers bench and hit a bunch of threes. Admit it, you giggled thinking of Morrison.
2:12 3Q - Ray Allen with a huge steal against Kobe. Man, if he was playing any offense at all he'd have MVP wrapped up thanks to some pretty incredible defense on Kobe in the series, particularly in the fourth quarters. I don't know what the numbers are, but he's been awful in fourth quarters. Hopefully that continues.
1:24 3Q - Allen now 1-9. Other than his monster game 2 and a good game 6, he's been brutal. Time to bring it in Q4. Luckily Kobe is 5-20. I hated Jordan, but anybody who compares Kobe to him ever again should probably just have their throat ripped out, Dalton-style.
0:00 3Q - C's up 57-53. Best replay ever is Garnet screaming "mother fu...." right after scoring on Gasol and right before ABC cut away. Very nice. Pretty sure this one is coming down to whoever decides to actually make shots, Ray Allen or Kobe. Fingers crossed for Ray.
Also what happened to Heath Slocum? The guy was looking like a genius longshot pick, and now I look and he's at +4. Which is 3 shots better than my pick to win, since Hunter Mahan shot a 78! And Ben Crane, maybe the hottest golfer on the planet, shot an 80! Good god, and 80! I thought this US Open would be a little more reasonable since it was at Pebble. I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm betting -4 ends up taking this thing in the end. Hopefully it ends up being Karlsson or Furyk.
10:22 4Q - Pierce making some horrendous decisions when it comes to shot selection. Honest to god it's like Pierce and Kobe are filming a Bad Idea JeansTM commercial. "Normally I wear protection, but I figured, when am I going to be in Haiti again?"
8:23 4Q - Allen with a floater over two Lakers to put the Celtics up 61-58. Maybe that's the shot he needs to get going. Come on Jesus. I love you Jesus.
7:13 4Q - Kobe actually has sex with Ray Allen as he goes up for a jumper. When he's called for the foul, he reacts as I'm sure O.J. did when they told him he was accused of murder. One difference: Kobe was guilty, while O.J. was innocent.
5:56 4Q - Tied at 64. Kobe heading to the line. I don't like where this is going. Celtics offense has disappeared. Come on, Ray. This is sick.
5:56 4Q - I thought about it, and even though it's over, I'm going to tell my wife about the afffair.
5:33 4Q - Allen misses another jumper. Kobe hits one on the other end. Lakers by four. This feels over. I also think Mark Jackson (announcing the game) is likely retarded in some fashion.
5:33 4Q - They use an Eminem song in the trailer for the video game Call of Duty? I....I....I....I literally can't think of anything to say. I am completely stupified right now. Completely.
Well, he's an ex free-base addict, and he's trying to turn it around, and he needs a place to stay for a couple of months.
4:38 - I don't mean to sound like some crybaby chowderhead or anything, but the refs are clearly handing this to LA at this point.
4:13 - Allen with a missed layup. Jesus.
3:05 - You can really tell the Lake show is feeling it. They're playing better defense now than they have all game. Three point Laker lead, Gasol going to the line. Hopefully the Lakers win by less than seven.
2:20 - Lakers up 74-68, and they've made about 20 free throws thsi quarter. Thanks refs. Lakers up 32-15 in free throw attemps. I don't even know why I watch this crap. Let's all cheer ourselves up for a moment:
Better? Better.
1:30 - Ballgame.
1:23 - Rasheed 3 pointer. 76-73. Interesting.
1:01 - Artest with a 28-footer. Clearly it's meant to be. Or, Allen answers with a three. Crazy right now. Like a typical sorority after I show up.
0:26 - Kobe misses a three, but Gasol with the rebound and Kobe ends up getting fouled. As was clear early, LA offensive boards are the key. Fuck this sucks. I really hate that guy. Congrats David Stern. No matter how much you orchestrate it ( and the refs made it clear their was a mandate) this dickmitten will never be another Jordan. And I hated Jordan.
0:00 - Gay.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Oh no! What's wrong with Joe Mauer!
This week I've heard from a couple of different radio programs that something must be wrong with Joe Mauer. He must be injured and we don't know about it. He must be pressing too hard because of the new contract. He must be coasting because of the new contract. There's something wrong.
How about he's playing exactly the way we should expect? You didn't really think he'd hit .365 with 28 home runs every year, did you? Even though his career averages suggest he's more of a .325 hitter with 15 homers? You didn't really, did you? Oh my god, you did. How embarrassing for you.
He's hitting .312 this year at this exact moment as I type this thanks to his 1-2 so far tonight. That's not exactly terrible. That still ranks in the top 15 in the AL. And would you be happier if he was hitting .350? Do you know the difference between .312 and .350 at this point in the season? Seven hits. Or, one extra hit every seven games. That's it. And I've got news for you: Batting average will fluctuate wildly for a non-power hitter.
That one hit every seven games could be a liner hit at somebody, a diving catch, or a blooper that just doesn't quite fall in. At some point those are going to fall. His line drive percentage is up quite a bit this year (27.6% to 22.6%), and his BABIP is down from a ridiculous .373 last season (though still high at .337). He's going to be fine.
Oh. Wait. You probably thought he was suddenly going to turn into a power hitter thanks to that ridiculous stretch of games last year. Did you know that last year, according to hittracker.com (which is awesome) that 11 of Mauer's homers were classified as "just enough?" Meaning they barely cleared the wall. Did you also know that last year his HR per Fly Ball spiked to a ridiculous 20.4%, a number which ranked him with guys like Adam Dunn, Albert Pujols, and Alex Rodriguez? Did you know his career number is around 10%?
So process all that. Is it really realistic, in the least, to expect him to hit 30 homers? Or even 25? Using his career fly-ball rate and his career HR/FB rate (including last year's ridiculous number), you can expect Mauer to hit about 14 home runs per year. You can also expect him to hit around .325-.330 ever year.
And this is a disappointment? No, those numbers aren't worth the contract he just signed, but if you thought the contraction was just for his production, you probably think he'll hit 40 HRs in a season, too.
No, you're not dumb. You're a visionary.
- As long as I'm here, I might as well weigh in on Strasburg's debut. I watched the first six innings, and there is no doubt I came away impressed. He was hitting 97-98 with his fastball all game, and I expected the radar gun to be a little juiced, but the way some of those Pirates were swinging at the ball (and yes, granted they are the Pirates) I think I believe it. You can read more about Strasburg than his mom would even want to if you go to basically any website, so I won't belabor it here, but I'm going to make two points.
First, just this line: 7ip, 4 hits, 2 runs, 0 bb, 14k. 14 strikeouts, no walks. Wow.
Second, watching him strike out 5 of 6 batters in the fifth and sixth was like watching a dominant closer come in and shut the door. Except it was two innings, and it was his fifth and sixth frame of the night. Wow.
He had a lot of hype, and it's going to get worse, but for tonight at least (and I'm sure there will be rough patches) he absolutely lived up to it.
And he's on our fantasy team.
- By the way, those of you who thought I was an idiot for calling out that there was something wrong with Zack Greinke can suck it (Dharma Bum -> hi).
- Also Kobe Bryant is absolutely playing like a man possessed tonight. He has been so impressive in this postseason. Like, a whole new level. At this point, I have to say he's the fourth best guard I've ever seen behind Magic, Jordan, and Glen Rice.
- UPDATE: Celtics making a nice little run here, cutting the lead down to four. Getting murdered by the refs though. I didn't think the "Lakers must win" mandate would come down until Game 5, four at the earliest. Also, Rondo is very, very good with the ball, but he's passing up 15 footers out there. He should be in the gym four hours a day this offseason figuring out how to shoot. He'd be unstoppable. Like Big Baby is now, apparently. Wow did he come to play.
- UPDATE: These refs are just brutal either way. Baby goes up for a layup, a little bit of contact. He missed, and now there's a whistle and a foul on the Lakers. Really just terrible officiating. Story of the finals, unfortunately.
- UPDATE: Kobe in "Operation Chucker" mode. Fisher carrying the Lakers right now. Also, Kevin Garnett is not dead yet, having a monster game. If Ray Allen could hit anything (just missed another open three and I think he's 0-12 now) Celtics would have this.
- UPDATE: Garnett 25 points, 11-15 shooting.
- UPDATE: Ray Allen 0-13. Denzel Washington is sad.
- UPDATE: This constant reviewing of out-of-bounds calls is killing this game.
- UPDATE: Ray Allen just missed a layup, although it didn't count because KG was called for a moving pick. John Thompson would be so proud.
- UPDATE: Still hate the Lakers.
How about he's playing exactly the way we should expect? You didn't really think he'd hit .365 with 28 home runs every year, did you? Even though his career averages suggest he's more of a .325 hitter with 15 homers? You didn't really, did you? Oh my god, you did. How embarrassing for you.
He's hitting .312 this year at this exact moment as I type this thanks to his 1-2 so far tonight. That's not exactly terrible. That still ranks in the top 15 in the AL. And would you be happier if he was hitting .350? Do you know the difference between .312 and .350 at this point in the season? Seven hits. Or, one extra hit every seven games. That's it. And I've got news for you: Batting average will fluctuate wildly for a non-power hitter.
That one hit every seven games could be a liner hit at somebody, a diving catch, or a blooper that just doesn't quite fall in. At some point those are going to fall. His line drive percentage is up quite a bit this year (27.6% to 22.6%), and his BABIP is down from a ridiculous .373 last season (though still high at .337). He's going to be fine.
Oh. Wait. You probably thought he was suddenly going to turn into a power hitter thanks to that ridiculous stretch of games last year. Did you know that last year, according to hittracker.com (which is awesome) that 11 of Mauer's homers were classified as "just enough?" Meaning they barely cleared the wall. Did you also know that last year his HR per Fly Ball spiked to a ridiculous 20.4%, a number which ranked him with guys like Adam Dunn, Albert Pujols, and Alex Rodriguez? Did you know his career number is around 10%?
So process all that. Is it really realistic, in the least, to expect him to hit 30 homers? Or even 25? Using his career fly-ball rate and his career HR/FB rate (including last year's ridiculous number), you can expect Mauer to hit about 14 home runs per year. You can also expect him to hit around .325-.330 ever year.
And this is a disappointment? No, those numbers aren't worth the contract he just signed, but if you thought the contraction was just for his production, you probably think he'll hit 40 HRs in a season, too.
No, you're not dumb. You're a visionary.
- As long as I'm here, I might as well weigh in on Strasburg's debut. I watched the first six innings, and there is no doubt I came away impressed. He was hitting 97-98 with his fastball all game, and I expected the radar gun to be a little juiced, but the way some of those Pirates were swinging at the ball (and yes, granted they are the Pirates) I think I believe it. You can read more about Strasburg than his mom would even want to if you go to basically any website, so I won't belabor it here, but I'm going to make two points.
First, just this line: 7ip, 4 hits, 2 runs, 0 bb, 14k. 14 strikeouts, no walks. Wow.
Second, watching him strike out 5 of 6 batters in the fifth and sixth was like watching a dominant closer come in and shut the door. Except it was two innings, and it was his fifth and sixth frame of the night. Wow.
He had a lot of hype, and it's going to get worse, but for tonight at least (and I'm sure there will be rough patches) he absolutely lived up to it.
And he's on our fantasy team.
- By the way, those of you who thought I was an idiot for calling out that there was something wrong with Zack Greinke can suck it (Dharma Bum -> hi).
- Also Kobe Bryant is absolutely playing like a man possessed tonight. He has been so impressive in this postseason. Like, a whole new level. At this point, I have to say he's the fourth best guard I've ever seen behind Magic, Jordan, and Glen Rice.
- UPDATE: Celtics making a nice little run here, cutting the lead down to four. Getting murdered by the refs though. I didn't think the "Lakers must win" mandate would come down until Game 5, four at the earliest. Also, Rondo is very, very good with the ball, but he's passing up 15 footers out there. He should be in the gym four hours a day this offseason figuring out how to shoot. He'd be unstoppable. Like Big Baby is now, apparently. Wow did he come to play.
- UPDATE: These refs are just brutal either way. Baby goes up for a layup, a little bit of contact. He missed, and now there's a whistle and a foul on the Lakers. Really just terrible officiating. Story of the finals, unfortunately.
- UPDATE: Kobe in "Operation Chucker" mode. Fisher carrying the Lakers right now. Also, Kevin Garnett is not dead yet, having a monster game. If Ray Allen could hit anything (just missed another open three and I think he's 0-12 now) Celtics would have this.
- UPDATE: Garnett 25 points, 11-15 shooting.
- UPDATE: Ray Allen 0-13. Denzel Washington is sad.
- UPDATE: This constant reviewing of out-of-bounds calls is killing this game.
- UPDATE: Ray Allen just missed a layup, although it didn't count because KG was called for a moving pick. John Thompson would be so proud.
- UPDATE: Still hate the Lakers.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Week in Review - 5/24/2010
How weird is it that in my very last post, the one about Justin Cobbs, I referenced 'Lil Romeo and his career at USC, and now news is breaking all over the place that Romeo is leaving the program. Some people just report the news. I create it. With great power, comes great responsibility.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Kobe Bryant. I'm pretty sure anybody arguing that Kobe isn't the best player in the NBA at this point is either retarded or a moron, and it absolutely kills me to compliment him. It's impossible not to after the games he's put together against the Suns this week. Game 1: 40 points on 13-23 shooting, 5 assists, 5 boards. Game 2: 21 points on 8-18 shooting, 13 assists, 5 rebounds. And he was masterful. Took over scoring in Game 1 when the Suns single-covered him, and then became facilitator when they doubled him in Game 2. If he played like this all the time, he'd be the clear-cut best player in the NBA (he also had 36-11-9 in Game 3 but I didn't watch it because I was watching Lost so I can't comment). Plus, he made an appearance on the awesome awesome Modern Family for their season finale, and actually seemed somewhat likable. Or at least he didn't rape anybody. That I know of.
2. Dice-K. Matsuzaka almost pitched a no-hitter on Saturday night, going 7 and 2/3 before giving up a soft single to Juan Castro (yes, THE Juan Castro) to break it up. And why wouldn't he? I mean he came into that game with an ERA of 5.97 and WHIP of 1.3, and had only made it 7 innings in one of his four starts since returning from injury, so it was obvious a game like this was coming. Seriously, what is the deal with Boston and pitchers? It's like anybody who goes there suddenly has these random unhittable nights. Lester and Buchholz have no-hitters in the last couple of years, and now Dice-K with this masterful performance out of nowhere. I'd be fascinated by this and look up who the pitching coach there is, but I hate the Red Sox with all my heart so I'm not going to waste any more time here.
3. Bryce Harper. I suppose it's gotten to the point where I can't really ignore Harper anymore, especially since he's going to be the number 1 pick for the Nationals in the upcoming amateur draft, and helped propel his JC team to the JuCo World Series. How did he lead them to the NJCAA Western Division Championship? Simply by hitting for the cycle on Friday and then following that up with a 6-6 game with four home runs and ten RBIs, going 12 for 13 in the last two games. They hype on this kid has been ridiculous, but it's looking like he might actually be able to live up to it. More background here if you're interested, but in case you aren't familiar with him a quick summary is that he's a 17-year old catcher who dropped out of high school to attend the College of Southern Nevada after his sophomore year, taking the GED in order to get eligible to play and will now be eligible for the draft despite not being able to vote yet. Basically his whole life has been geared around being a professional baseball player. When this burn out comes, it's going to be spectacular. You know those repressed kids who get to college and just go insane with freedom? Like that x100.
4. Edwin Jackson. You remember this guy. Big-time prospect for the Rays, who was then a big-time prospect for the Tigers, who was then shipped to the D-backs for Max Scherzer. So far this season, it had looked like there was a reason he'd been on three teams in three years, racking up a 7.43 ERA in 8 starts, allowing 60 hits in 46 innings, and walking 18 with just 32 strikeouts. Suddenly this week, however, things look like they might be turning around. On Monday he went 8 innings, allowing 4 hits and no runs while striking out 12 and walking just two. Then on Saturday, he followed it up with a 7 and 2/3 inning performance, allowing six hits and five runs. That Saturday outing may not sound that great, but he struck out 9 and walked none, and had allowed just one run through seven innings before giving up a couple of homers in the 8th. He may very well go back to sucking, but that 21-2 K/BB ratio in his last two starts says he may have turned a corner.
5. Justin Morneau. Good god. Completely ridiculous. You know how a lot of people say Ted Williams was the best hitter ever? And others go with Ruth, or Bonds, or maybe Ty Cobb? Clearly all those people are idiots, because it's obvious Morneau is the best hitter ever. I haven't looked this up, but I'm pretty sure his line drive % this year is 100%. Or maybe like 75%, with 24% being home runs and 1% being ground balls that are hit so hard infielders are jumping out of the way. Seriously, remember how amazing Joe Mauer's season was last year? And yeah, it was pretty incredible, but this year Morneau is better than him in every single statistic. 18 points higher in batting average, 53 points higher in OBP, and 114 points better in slugging, and he's on pace to hit 15 or so more homers and walk about 60 more times. Just crazy numbers. Let's put it this way. Morneau is about 30% better this year compared to Mauer last year if we use OPS+ as our guide. To put that in perspective, last year Mauer was about 30% better than Michael Cuddyer last year. That's how good Morneau has been.
WHO SUCKED
1. Orlando Magic. There is just so much to choose from here. What's your favorite part? Vince Carter's Dajuan Wagner impression at the end of game 2? Getting smoked in an absolute must-win game by 23 in a game that wasn't nearly that close? Letting Rasheed become a major factor? Letting Big Baby become a major factor? Dwight Howard being dominated in two of the three games by a combination of Kendrick Perkins and Rasheed? Rashard Lewis taking three games to finally surpass his season per game average in scoring, and only surpassing it by a single point thanks to his 6-24 shooting? Or maybe watching as KG and Ray Allen, who had looked pretty broken down at times this season, suddenly dominating like it was 2002. Just a whole lot to love here. I suppose I could give credit to the Celtics, but that's not nearly as fun, and it's really been pretty pathetic. Orlando Tragic, indeed.
2. Tommy Hanson. There's nothing quite as exquisite as watching someone I've pimped on the record completely flame out. Except instead of exquisite I mean whatever is the exact opposite of that. Hanson is having an excellent year thus far, and will likely continue to have an excellent year, and will probably have a very good career, but for one afternoon he was doing a hell of a Jesse Crain impression if Crain was a starter. On Thursday against the Reds, Hanson couldn't even get out of the second inning. He faced a total of 16 batters, and got less than a third of them out, giving up 8 hits, 2 walks, and 8 earned runs in just 1 and 2/3 innings. Ouch, Tommy. Ouch. I feel betrayed. Like Caesar. Or the Cherokee.
3. Rickie Weeks. Once a top prospect, Weeks struggled for his first four seasons a bit, being about a league average hitter and below average fielder. Then last season, he seemed to be putting it together, adding some power to his already always impressive on-base percentage, hitting 9 home runs in his first 37 games, and looked like he might fault towards the top of the second-basemen rankings if such a thing existed. Unfortunately, an injury derailed the rest of the season and he missed the rest of the year. He started off this season again like gangbusters and was kicking some ass, but the last couple of weeks he's fallen off the face of the planet. He went 3-18 this week. When added to his 3-24 week the week prior, you can see why his average has dropped from the .330s where it was earlier this season all the way down to the .230s. His power is also gone (slugging .382, lowest of his career), and he's already made five errors - which I think is more than the entire Twins team. I think his window has pretty much closed, and he's never going to end up living up to his potential. It's probably the dreadlocks.
4. Kerry Wood. Remember when I mentioned that Wood would probably be a pretty sought after closer around the trade deadline this year assuming he got healthy? Well, he got healthy. Too bad he sucks. On Friday he pitched an inning against the Reds, giving up a home run, and actually lowered his ERA by more than two runs. That's because on Wednesday he pitched against the Royals, and only managed to get one out. While trying to get that one out, he walked two batters and gave up four hits, allowing five runs to score. He did pitch a scoreless inning Sunday which lowered his ERA to 13.50 and WHIP to 2.63, and might end up being good again, but he certainly didn't get himself off to a good start.
5. Channing Frye. As far as NBA players go, Frye is not a particularly good one, although he's not terrible either. He does have one particularly valuable skill however, and that is being 6-11 and being able to make three-pointers. In fact, he made them at a 44% clip, good enough for 6th in the league, was in the All-Star 3-point contest, and takes more than half his attempts from behind the arc. He's basically a more accurate Rick Rickert, except in the NBA it's a valuable skill and doesn't necessarily mean you're a big baby who is afraid to play inside. Anyway, when a guy with one skill can't pull off that skill in the Western Conference Finals, it ain't pretty. Through three games he's 1-14 from three, and 1-20 overall from the floor. Somehow, the Suns are only down 2-1 despite this. Just a brutal choke job. Also, can somebody please tell Jared Dudley to stop cheering for himself so hard every time he makes a shot? It's really irritating. Like watching some chowder at open gym who finally hits a shot after clanging ten in a row off the side of the backboard.
Special mention for suckitude to Todd Coffey. What a spaz. I'm surprised they don't make him wear a helmet out there.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Kobe Bryant. I'm pretty sure anybody arguing that Kobe isn't the best player in the NBA at this point is either retarded or a moron, and it absolutely kills me to compliment him. It's impossible not to after the games he's put together against the Suns this week. Game 1: 40 points on 13-23 shooting, 5 assists, 5 boards. Game 2: 21 points on 8-18 shooting, 13 assists, 5 rebounds. And he was masterful. Took over scoring in Game 1 when the Suns single-covered him, and then became facilitator when they doubled him in Game 2. If he played like this all the time, he'd be the clear-cut best player in the NBA (he also had 36-11-9 in Game 3 but I didn't watch it because I was watching Lost so I can't comment). Plus, he made an appearance on the awesome awesome Modern Family for their season finale, and actually seemed somewhat likable. Or at least he didn't rape anybody. That I know of.
2. Dice-K. Matsuzaka almost pitched a no-hitter on Saturday night, going 7 and 2/3 before giving up a soft single to Juan Castro (yes, THE Juan Castro) to break it up. And why wouldn't he? I mean he came into that game with an ERA of 5.97 and WHIP of 1.3, and had only made it 7 innings in one of his four starts since returning from injury, so it was obvious a game like this was coming. Seriously, what is the deal with Boston and pitchers? It's like anybody who goes there suddenly has these random unhittable nights. Lester and Buchholz have no-hitters in the last couple of years, and now Dice-K with this masterful performance out of nowhere. I'd be fascinated by this and look up who the pitching coach there is, but I hate the Red Sox with all my heart so I'm not going to waste any more time here.
3. Bryce Harper. I suppose it's gotten to the point where I can't really ignore Harper anymore, especially since he's going to be the number 1 pick for the Nationals in the upcoming amateur draft, and helped propel his JC team to the JuCo World Series. How did he lead them to the NJCAA Western Division Championship? Simply by hitting for the cycle on Friday and then following that up with a 6-6 game with four home runs and ten RBIs, going 12 for 13 in the last two games. They hype on this kid has been ridiculous, but it's looking like he might actually be able to live up to it. More background here if you're interested, but in case you aren't familiar with him a quick summary is that he's a 17-year old catcher who dropped out of high school to attend the College of Southern Nevada after his sophomore year, taking the GED in order to get eligible to play and will now be eligible for the draft despite not being able to vote yet. Basically his whole life has been geared around being a professional baseball player. When this burn out comes, it's going to be spectacular. You know those repressed kids who get to college and just go insane with freedom? Like that x100.
4. Edwin Jackson. You remember this guy. Big-time prospect for the Rays, who was then a big-time prospect for the Tigers, who was then shipped to the D-backs for Max Scherzer. So far this season, it had looked like there was a reason he'd been on three teams in three years, racking up a 7.43 ERA in 8 starts, allowing 60 hits in 46 innings, and walking 18 with just 32 strikeouts. Suddenly this week, however, things look like they might be turning around. On Monday he went 8 innings, allowing 4 hits and no runs while striking out 12 and walking just two. Then on Saturday, he followed it up with a 7 and 2/3 inning performance, allowing six hits and five runs. That Saturday outing may not sound that great, but he struck out 9 and walked none, and had allowed just one run through seven innings before giving up a couple of homers in the 8th. He may very well go back to sucking, but that 21-2 K/BB ratio in his last two starts says he may have turned a corner.
5. Justin Morneau. Good god. Completely ridiculous. You know how a lot of people say Ted Williams was the best hitter ever? And others go with Ruth, or Bonds, or maybe Ty Cobb? Clearly all those people are idiots, because it's obvious Morneau is the best hitter ever. I haven't looked this up, but I'm pretty sure his line drive % this year is 100%. Or maybe like 75%, with 24% being home runs and 1% being ground balls that are hit so hard infielders are jumping out of the way. Seriously, remember how amazing Joe Mauer's season was last year? And yeah, it was pretty incredible, but this year Morneau is better than him in every single statistic. 18 points higher in batting average, 53 points higher in OBP, and 114 points better in slugging, and he's on pace to hit 15 or so more homers and walk about 60 more times. Just crazy numbers. Let's put it this way. Morneau is about 30% better this year compared to Mauer last year if we use OPS+ as our guide. To put that in perspective, last year Mauer was about 30% better than Michael Cuddyer last year. That's how good Morneau has been.
WHO SUCKED
1. Orlando Magic. There is just so much to choose from here. What's your favorite part? Vince Carter's Dajuan Wagner impression at the end of game 2? Getting smoked in an absolute must-win game by 23 in a game that wasn't nearly that close? Letting Rasheed become a major factor? Letting Big Baby become a major factor? Dwight Howard being dominated in two of the three games by a combination of Kendrick Perkins and Rasheed? Rashard Lewis taking three games to finally surpass his season per game average in scoring, and only surpassing it by a single point thanks to his 6-24 shooting? Or maybe watching as KG and Ray Allen, who had looked pretty broken down at times this season, suddenly dominating like it was 2002. Just a whole lot to love here. I suppose I could give credit to the Celtics, but that's not nearly as fun, and it's really been pretty pathetic. Orlando Tragic, indeed.
2. Tommy Hanson. There's nothing quite as exquisite as watching someone I've pimped on the record completely flame out. Except instead of exquisite I mean whatever is the exact opposite of that. Hanson is having an excellent year thus far, and will likely continue to have an excellent year, and will probably have a very good career, but for one afternoon he was doing a hell of a Jesse Crain impression if Crain was a starter. On Thursday against the Reds, Hanson couldn't even get out of the second inning. He faced a total of 16 batters, and got less than a third of them out, giving up 8 hits, 2 walks, and 8 earned runs in just 1 and 2/3 innings. Ouch, Tommy. Ouch. I feel betrayed. Like Caesar. Or the Cherokee.
3. Rickie Weeks. Once a top prospect, Weeks struggled for his first four seasons a bit, being about a league average hitter and below average fielder. Then last season, he seemed to be putting it together, adding some power to his already always impressive on-base percentage, hitting 9 home runs in his first 37 games, and looked like he might fault towards the top of the second-basemen rankings if such a thing existed. Unfortunately, an injury derailed the rest of the season and he missed the rest of the year. He started off this season again like gangbusters and was kicking some ass, but the last couple of weeks he's fallen off the face of the planet. He went 3-18 this week. When added to his 3-24 week the week prior, you can see why his average has dropped from the .330s where it was earlier this season all the way down to the .230s. His power is also gone (slugging .382, lowest of his career), and he's already made five errors - which I think is more than the entire Twins team. I think his window has pretty much closed, and he's never going to end up living up to his potential. It's probably the dreadlocks.
4. Kerry Wood. Remember when I mentioned that Wood would probably be a pretty sought after closer around the trade deadline this year assuming he got healthy? Well, he got healthy. Too bad he sucks. On Friday he pitched an inning against the Reds, giving up a home run, and actually lowered his ERA by more than two runs. That's because on Wednesday he pitched against the Royals, and only managed to get one out. While trying to get that one out, he walked two batters and gave up four hits, allowing five runs to score. He did pitch a scoreless inning Sunday which lowered his ERA to 13.50 and WHIP to 2.63, and might end up being good again, but he certainly didn't get himself off to a good start.
5. Channing Frye. As far as NBA players go, Frye is not a particularly good one, although he's not terrible either. He does have one particularly valuable skill however, and that is being 6-11 and being able to make three-pointers. In fact, he made them at a 44% clip, good enough for 6th in the league, was in the All-Star 3-point contest, and takes more than half his attempts from behind the arc. He's basically a more accurate Rick Rickert, except in the NBA it's a valuable skill and doesn't necessarily mean you're a big baby who is afraid to play inside. Anyway, when a guy with one skill can't pull off that skill in the Western Conference Finals, it ain't pretty. Through three games he's 1-14 from three, and 1-20 overall from the floor. Somehow, the Suns are only down 2-1 despite this. Just a brutal choke job. Also, can somebody please tell Jared Dudley to stop cheering for himself so hard every time he makes a shot? It's really irritating. Like watching some chowder at open gym who finally hits a shot after clanging ten in a row off the side of the backboard.
Special mention for suckitude to Todd Coffey. What a spaz. I'm surprised they don't make him wear a helmet out there.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Breaking News All Over the Place!!!!!!!!11!!!1
Ok, so not so much breaking news, but news worth a little chat nonetheless. Three little nuggets:
1. Sammy Sosa was on steroids. Wait. Wrong file. That's not in my "breaking news" file, that's in my "no shit, sherlock" file. Everybody already knew this, didn't they? The only guy more obvious than Slammin' Sammy was Bonds.
You gotta respect a guy who is willing to cheat in all kinds of different ways, though. Not only did he bring the roids, but if you recall he was busted using a corked bat, too. He might as well have just gotten an aluminum bat that was painted like a wooden one. That's genius, actually, scratch that. It's like playing Madden and using the rewind button if you throw a game-losing interception, but then hitting the reset button too. And claiming it was an acccident.
I'm glad Stammerin' Sammy finally got outed officially though, since apparently there were some people who didn't know. Never liked him. His whole joyful act when McGwire broke Maris's record was the phoniest thing I had ever seen until Kobe and his teammates celebrated their new NBA title as if every single one of those guys wouldn't have shanked Kobe in the kidney if they thought they could get away with it.
2. The Twins finally did to Jesse Crain what they should have done to Matt Guerrier last year, and shipped Jesse Crain down to AAA when Glen "Perk" Perkins came off the DL. Crain has been an absolute nightmare this season, sporting an ERA of 8.15 (397th of 415 pitchers with at least 10 ips) and a WHIP of 1.92 (385th) and basically has made Guerrier look like Juan Berenguer. Ideally, he will spend his time in Rochester fixing whatever is wrong with him and get back to his 2005-2006 form, although it wouldn't surprise me if we don't hear from him again (Hi Jack Cressend!).
Of course, Crain hasn't been in the minors since 2004, so I'm assuming this is pretty humiliating for him and maybe it will motivate him to get in gear. Although when a guy sports a chin warmer and a sea-shell necklace like some kind of outcast frat boy who just got action for the first time from a 250 lb. drunken behemoth in cancun who just puked, I'm guessing he doesn't have a lot of shame left in him.
3. Finally, the big news we have all been waiting for. After a lengthy battle for his services, which I'm assuming involved a lot of money under the table, free cars, and copious amounts of willing and available trim, your hero and mine Travis Busch has signed on to attend (and apparently play basketball at) Colorado State next season (due to his hustle, he was granted a waiver and doesn't have to sit out next season and becomes eligible immediately.)
What? How did this happen? I thought he was going to fall down a lot and be scrappy for a D-2 type school like Winona or Metro State, but now all of a sudden he's heading not only D-I, but to a team in the Mountain West? It's not exactly a power conference, but it's not the Summit League either. I know they lost there ball-hoggy scoring point guard guy so they need scorers, but I don't think Mr. 2.6 points per game is really the answer here. Actually, I'm pretty sure a 6-3 (yeah right) 210 lb. power forward is the answer to anything, unless the question is "Who can dominate at the local YMCA adult pick-up?"
Do you remember just a few years ago Colorado State had three seven-footers? And now they are going to bring in a six-foot power forward who couldn't guard a black guy to save his life (he should do ok against BYU and Utah). It's pretty clear Tim Miles has run that program into the ground, or whatever is below the ground; Magma - I don't know, I'm not a geologist, all I know is these quotes from Miles really speak for themselves:
I swear I didn't make either of those up, although they are damn close to what I would write if I was making them up - but with more references to falling down. When reached for comment, Devron Bostick said, "He do b hustlin."
Also I'm very sad that Austin Daye stayed in the draft, I hit a home run at softball last night, Jason Kubel is still awesome, and this food on a stick thing at the State Fair has got to stop. I just saw a show that profiled the Rueben on a stick and Spaghetti and Meatballs on a stick. Ridiculous. Just knock it off. Although I also learned that the Meat Raffle was invented in Minnesota. Awesome.
If you're lucky I might have a US Open preview tomorrow.
1. Sammy Sosa was on steroids. Wait. Wrong file. That's not in my "breaking news" file, that's in my "no shit, sherlock" file. Everybody already knew this, didn't they? The only guy more obvious than Slammin' Sammy was Bonds.
You gotta respect a guy who is willing to cheat in all kinds of different ways, though. Not only did he bring the roids, but if you recall he was busted using a corked bat, too. He might as well have just gotten an aluminum bat that was painted like a wooden one. That's genius, actually, scratch that. It's like playing Madden and using the rewind button if you throw a game-losing interception, but then hitting the reset button too. And claiming it was an acccident.
I'm glad Stammerin' Sammy finally got outed officially though, since apparently there were some people who didn't know. Never liked him. His whole joyful act when McGwire broke Maris's record was the phoniest thing I had ever seen until Kobe and his teammates celebrated their new NBA title as if every single one of those guys wouldn't have shanked Kobe in the kidney if they thought they could get away with it.
2. The Twins finally did to Jesse Crain what they should have done to Matt Guerrier last year, and shipped Jesse Crain down to AAA when Glen "Perk" Perkins came off the DL. Crain has been an absolute nightmare this season, sporting an ERA of 8.15 (397th of 415 pitchers with at least 10 ips) and a WHIP of 1.92 (385th) and basically has made Guerrier look like Juan Berenguer. Ideally, he will spend his time in Rochester fixing whatever is wrong with him and get back to his 2005-2006 form, although it wouldn't surprise me if we don't hear from him again (Hi Jack Cressend!).
Of course, Crain hasn't been in the minors since 2004, so I'm assuming this is pretty humiliating for him and maybe it will motivate him to get in gear. Although when a guy sports a chin warmer and a sea-shell necklace like some kind of outcast frat boy who just got action for the first time from a 250 lb. drunken behemoth in cancun who just puked, I'm guessing he doesn't have a lot of shame left in him.
3. Finally, the big news we have all been waiting for. After a lengthy battle for his services, which I'm assuming involved a lot of money under the table, free cars, and copious amounts of willing and available trim, your hero and mine Travis Busch has signed on to attend (and apparently play basketball at) Colorado State next season (due to his hustle, he was granted a waiver and doesn't have to sit out next season and becomes eligible immediately.)
What? How did this happen? I thought he was going to fall down a lot and be scrappy for a D-2 type school like Winona or Metro State, but now all of a sudden he's heading not only D-I, but to a team in the Mountain West? It's not exactly a power conference, but it's not the Summit League either. I know they lost there ball-hoggy scoring point guard guy so they need scorers, but I don't think Mr. 2.6 points per game is really the answer here. Actually, I'm pretty sure a 6-3 (yeah right) 210 lb. power forward is the answer to anything, unless the question is "Who can dominate at the local YMCA adult pick-up?"
Do you remember just a few years ago Colorado State had three seven-footers? And now they are going to bring in a six-foot power forward who couldn't guard a black guy to save his life (he should do ok against BYU and Utah). It's pretty clear Tim Miles has run that program into the ground, or whatever is below the ground; Magma - I don't know, I'm not a geologist, all I know is these quotes from Miles really speak for themselves:
"We are excited to have Travis join us. He is a person who values education, he's got a dynamic personality, and he is a relentless basketball player. He will be a great fit for our program."
"I expect he will step out of his role of a complementary player and into a leadership position on our team. He's got the tools and work ethic to make big things happen for Rams basketball"
I swear I didn't make either of those up, although they are damn close to what I would write if I was making them up - but with more references to falling down. When reached for comment, Devron Bostick said, "He do b hustlin."
Also I'm very sad that Austin Daye stayed in the draft, I hit a home run at softball last night, Jason Kubel is still awesome, and this food on a stick thing at the State Fair has got to stop. I just saw a show that profiled the Rueben on a stick and Spaghetti and Meatballs on a stick. Ridiculous. Just knock it off. Although I also learned that the Meat Raffle was invented in Minnesota. Awesome.
If you're lucky I might have a US Open preview tomorrow.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Thursday Things (McLouth, Ostertag, Babies, Elaine Benes, Kobe, Idiots)
Just finished up a nice meal on the grill (steaks, corn-on-the-cob, baked beans), WonderbabyTM is in bed, and I'm kicking back with a couple of Red Stripes, ready to watch the NBA Finals (for as long as Mrs. W will let me get away with it) and toss up a few observations and what not.
- My all-star ballot:
AMERICAN
C Joe Mauer
1b Justin Morneau
2b Ian Kinsler
3b Evan Longoria
ss Jason Bartlett (this one stings a bit)
of Adam Jones
of Nelson Cruz
of Carl Crawford
NATIONAL
c Brian McCann
1b Albert Pujols
2b Chase Utley
3b Ryan Zimmerman
ss Miguel Tejada
of Raul Ibanez
of Justin Upton
of Carlos Beltran
And I don't have a single one of these guys on either of my fantasy teams. Yippee. God I suck.
- Since we're talking about baseball here, let's talk about this Nate McLouth trade and how little of it I really understand. In case you missed it, the perpetually financially strapped and non-competitive Pittsburgh Pirates traded their best player, third-year outfielder Nate McLouth, to the Braves for three prospects. Normally you'd just say this is a case of the have-nots trading to the haves and trying to reload. But this is gets curiouser and curiouser the more you look at it.
First off, McLouth is not an old all-star on his last legs. He's just 27, and is in just his third season. Last year he hit .276/.356/.497 (an OPS+ of 126, equivalent to Kubel so far this year) with 26 homers, 23 steals, and a league leading 46 doubles. He's putting up very similar numbers again this year, so he doesn't look like a one-year wonder.
Even more, he's not that expensive. McLouth is on the hook for the next 3 years at just $13 million after signing an extension with the Pirates in February. Basically the Pirates agreed to pay him that money in February, and then after he played exactly as expected, they traded him away just 3.5 months later. And he's only scheduled to make $2 million this year (then $4.5 and $6.5) so it's not like there was a lot of urgency to get that money off the books. Why now? Why not wait until the trade deadline when team's are ready to pay higher premiums for players? Or next year? It makes zero sense.
Lastly, the package the Pirates got back was subpar, and described by the Pirates GM himself as "Three players who could become above average players someday." Not exactly glowing praise. They got back outfielder Gorkys Hernandez and pitchers Charlie Morton and Jeff Locke. Hernandez is the "jewel" here the same way Bernard Berrian is the "jewel" of the Vikings' wideouts - more "meh" than anything else. He's a no power, speedy, excellent defender with zero batting eye (sounds familiar) who was ranked the #8 prospect in the Braves system, with Locke coming in at #10 and Morton unranked in the top 40, and in his fifteen starts with the Braves last year he put up numbers nearly identical to Liriano so far this season, but without the strikeouts and might very well be a classic AAAA player.
Essentially, the Pirates traded a young, talented, cheap player for a handful of mediocre two years before he would be a financial issue. Seriously, it looks like the Pirates could have the budget of the Yankees and still suck. Not even Bill Smith is this shitty.
- You know who isn't shitty? My guys Denard Span and Jason Kubel combined for three home runs and seven rbi today to help kick the crap out of Cleveland 11-3. Seriously, those two are the best players on the team by far. Canucks and Roid-heads are ineligible.
- You know what I love about Mrs. W? Every time we watch basketball together when she sees a big dumb white guy she always asks, "Oh, is that their Ostertag?" She knows almost nothing about basketball, but always remembers that. I laugh every time. (This time it was Gasol. I don't think he qualifies. Dumb enough and ugly enough, but slightly too skilled).
- Ha Ha! Kobe missed. Jackass.
- Twice!
- Jameer Nelson is back. There's a guy I never thought would become much of an NBA player, but once again my eye for talent is surpassed only by Bogart, he of the Troy Williamson worship. Downside to Nelson back is we'll get less Skip 2 My Lou.
- Speaking of Bogart, I just poured myself a Cranberry & Vodka (with Lime) in honor of Wonderbaby's future husband's birth. That's right, little Baby Bogart arrived yesterday in Chicago, weighing in at 8 lbs. and 6 oz, ready to start his journey towards eventually becoming my (rich) son-in-law. Since Wonder Woman once had a little thing with Superman, I have decided that Baby Bogart will henceforth also be known as, SuperbabyTM.
- Uh oh, looks like Lamar Odom decided to actually try tonight. Magic in trouble (even though they're winning).
- Ok, so there's a trailer for a romantic comedy starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. Normally romantic comedies are the suck, and Sandra Bullock is really annoying, but Ryan Reynolds is the freakin' man and makes anything good - including that other romantic comedy he was in with that chick from Wedding Crashers. So do I let Mama W drag me to it or not? Decisions, decisions.
- FYI - last night at 2am my Tivo recorded a movie called "Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy." I don't know when I'll get to it, but I'll get to it.
- Tobey McGuire is there!! Sweet!!! And he's sitting with Kevin Connolly!!! The star power is amazing!!! (NOTE: I have no idea who Kevin Connolly is)
- Hedo Turkoglu was the 16th overall pick the year he came out? I guess that's about right. Actually, now that I look it up, he was a top 10 player from that draft, along with Kenyon Martin, Jamaal Magloire, Michael Redd, Jamal Crawford, Mike Miller, Quentin Richardson, Joel Pryzbilla, Eduardo Najera, and Eddie House. Top ten picks Stromile Swift, Marcus Fizer, Darius Miles, and DerMarr Johnson sure worked out well.
- Did you know Kobe Bryant likes to have buttsecks with Pau Gasol? I'm not kidding. I've seen it.
- I've been watching a lot of "The New Adventures of Old Christine" lately. I think I'm falling in love with Elaine Benes (no relation to Andy. or Alan) all over again.
- NOTE: Courtney Lee, as much as I liked him at Western Kentucky, cannot guard Kobe Bryant, aka The Rapisttm. By the way, I'd bet anything Bogart is a huge Kobe fan. Jesus, I really hope SuperBabyTM doesn't get Bogart's eye for talent. I don't think WonderBabyTM could handle that. I know I couldn't. If you take idiocy to a second generation, it's like idiocy2.
- 18 point Laker lead. This shit got lame faster than Jumper. Dwight Howard is the Al Nolen of centers, and they have no chance at stopping Kobe. This finals is going to suck, and my least favorite player ever is going to win another ring, except this one without Shaq which will cause morons like the Sports Guy to say things like, "Kobe is now the third best shooting guard in the history of the NBA." God that guy sucks now. Sports Guy, I mean, not Kobe. Kobe is like the third best guard in NBA history.
- Remember Matt Wieters? The next Joe Mauer, but with power (so like Mauer now that he is on roids)? He's really made a big splash since being called up on May 29th. A stellar 7-21 with five strikeouts and one walk. I know, small sample size and actually his overall stat profile is fine, but I like to make snap judgements. It's easier. That's probably why most people think I'm racist and sexist, but I just think it saves time. And I'm usually right. If not, oh well, I'm sure the jury will acquit.
- Randy Johnson got his 300th win today, which has set off an obnoxious spurt of morons with columns like, "Last 300-game winner ever" and "The End of the 300-win club?" Relax, idiots. There will always be 300 game winners. You realize there are only 24 people who have won 300 games? And four have them have done it in years that end begin with the number 2. That's one-sixth. That's a disproportionate amount based on how long baseball has existed. So settle down, idiots.
- My all-star ballot:
AMERICAN
C Joe Mauer
1b Justin Morneau
2b Ian Kinsler
3b Evan Longoria
ss Jason Bartlett (this one stings a bit)
of Adam Jones
of Nelson Cruz
of Carl Crawford
NATIONAL
c Brian McCann
1b Albert Pujols
2b Chase Utley
3b Ryan Zimmerman
ss Miguel Tejada
of Raul Ibanez
of Justin Upton
of Carlos Beltran
And I don't have a single one of these guys on either of my fantasy teams. Yippee. God I suck.
- Since we're talking about baseball here, let's talk about this Nate McLouth trade and how little of it I really understand. In case you missed it, the perpetually financially strapped and non-competitive Pittsburgh Pirates traded their best player, third-year outfielder Nate McLouth, to the Braves for three prospects. Normally you'd just say this is a case of the have-nots trading to the haves and trying to reload. But this is gets curiouser and curiouser the more you look at it.
First off, McLouth is not an old all-star on his last legs. He's just 27, and is in just his third season. Last year he hit .276/.356/.497 (an OPS+ of 126, equivalent to Kubel so far this year) with 26 homers, 23 steals, and a league leading 46 doubles. He's putting up very similar numbers again this year, so he doesn't look like a one-year wonder.
Even more, he's not that expensive. McLouth is on the hook for the next 3 years at just $13 million after signing an extension with the Pirates in February. Basically the Pirates agreed to pay him that money in February, and then after he played exactly as expected, they traded him away just 3.5 months later. And he's only scheduled to make $2 million this year (then $4.5 and $6.5) so it's not like there was a lot of urgency to get that money off the books. Why now? Why not wait until the trade deadline when team's are ready to pay higher premiums for players? Or next year? It makes zero sense.
Lastly, the package the Pirates got back was subpar, and described by the Pirates GM himself as "Three players who could become above average players someday." Not exactly glowing praise. They got back outfielder Gorkys Hernandez and pitchers Charlie Morton and Jeff Locke. Hernandez is the "jewel" here the same way Bernard Berrian is the "jewel" of the Vikings' wideouts - more "meh" than anything else. He's a no power, speedy, excellent defender with zero batting eye (sounds familiar) who was ranked the #8 prospect in the Braves system, with Locke coming in at #10 and Morton unranked in the top 40, and in his fifteen starts with the Braves last year he put up numbers nearly identical to Liriano so far this season, but without the strikeouts and might very well be a classic AAAA player.
Essentially, the Pirates traded a young, talented, cheap player for a handful of mediocre two years before he would be a financial issue. Seriously, it looks like the Pirates could have the budget of the Yankees and still suck. Not even Bill Smith is this shitty.
- You know who isn't shitty? My guys Denard Span and Jason Kubel combined for three home runs and seven rbi today to help kick the crap out of Cleveland 11-3. Seriously, those two are the best players on the team by far. Canucks and Roid-heads are ineligible.
- You know what I love about Mrs. W? Every time we watch basketball together when she sees a big dumb white guy she always asks, "Oh, is that their Ostertag?" She knows almost nothing about basketball, but always remembers that. I laugh every time. (This time it was Gasol. I don't think he qualifies. Dumb enough and ugly enough, but slightly too skilled).
- Ha Ha! Kobe missed. Jackass.
- Twice!
- Jameer Nelson is back. There's a guy I never thought would become much of an NBA player, but once again my eye for talent is surpassed only by Bogart, he of the Troy Williamson worship. Downside to Nelson back is we'll get less Skip 2 My Lou.
- Speaking of Bogart, I just poured myself a Cranberry & Vodka (with Lime) in honor of Wonderbaby's future husband's birth. That's right, little Baby Bogart arrived yesterday in Chicago, weighing in at 8 lbs. and 6 oz, ready to start his journey towards eventually becoming my (rich) son-in-law. Since Wonder Woman once had a little thing with Superman, I have decided that Baby Bogart will henceforth also be known as, SuperbabyTM.
- Uh oh, looks like Lamar Odom decided to actually try tonight. Magic in trouble (even though they're winning).
- Ok, so there's a trailer for a romantic comedy starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. Normally romantic comedies are the suck, and Sandra Bullock is really annoying, but Ryan Reynolds is the freakin' man and makes anything good - including that other romantic comedy he was in with that chick from Wedding Crashers. So do I let Mama W drag me to it or not? Decisions, decisions.
- FYI - last night at 2am my Tivo recorded a movie called "Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy." I don't know when I'll get to it, but I'll get to it.
- Tobey McGuire is there!! Sweet!!! And he's sitting with Kevin Connolly!!! The star power is amazing!!! (NOTE: I have no idea who Kevin Connolly is)
- Hedo Turkoglu was the 16th overall pick the year he came out? I guess that's about right. Actually, now that I look it up, he was a top 10 player from that draft, along with Kenyon Martin, Jamaal Magloire, Michael Redd, Jamal Crawford, Mike Miller, Quentin Richardson, Joel Pryzbilla, Eduardo Najera, and Eddie House. Top ten picks Stromile Swift, Marcus Fizer, Darius Miles, and DerMarr Johnson sure worked out well.
- Did you know Kobe Bryant likes to have buttsecks with Pau Gasol? I'm not kidding. I've seen it.
- I've been watching a lot of "The New Adventures of Old Christine" lately. I think I'm falling in love with Elaine Benes (no relation to Andy. or Alan) all over again.
- NOTE: Courtney Lee, as much as I liked him at Western Kentucky, cannot guard Kobe Bryant, aka The Rapisttm. By the way, I'd bet anything Bogart is a huge Kobe fan. Jesus, I really hope SuperBabyTM doesn't get Bogart's eye for talent. I don't think WonderBabyTM could handle that. I know I couldn't. If you take idiocy to a second generation, it's like idiocy2.
- 18 point Laker lead. This shit got lame faster than Jumper. Dwight Howard is the Al Nolen of centers, and they have no chance at stopping Kobe. This finals is going to suck, and my least favorite player ever is going to win another ring, except this one without Shaq which will cause morons like the Sports Guy to say things like, "Kobe is now the third best shooting guard in the history of the NBA." God that guy sucks now. Sports Guy, I mean, not Kobe. Kobe is like the third best guard in NBA history.
- Remember Matt Wieters? The next Joe Mauer, but with power (so like Mauer now that he is on roids)? He's really made a big splash since being called up on May 29th. A stellar 7-21 with five strikeouts and one walk. I know, small sample size and actually his overall stat profile is fine, but I like to make snap judgements. It's easier. That's probably why most people think I'm racist and sexist, but I just think it saves time. And I'm usually right. If not, oh well, I'm sure the jury will acquit.
- Randy Johnson got his 300th win today, which has set off an obnoxious spurt of morons with columns like, "Last 300-game winner ever" and "The End of the 300-win club?" Relax, idiots. There will always be 300 game winners. You realize there are only 24 people who have won 300 games? And four have them have done it in years that end begin with the number 2. That's one-sixth. That's a disproportionate amount based on how long baseball has existed. So settle down, idiots.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Crazy roun' here.
I've been very busy with no chance to write, so I apologize to those of you have been refreshing tens of times per day, hoping against hope that there is a new post up. It would be great if Snake, Dawg, or Sidler would type something, anything, but alas, no such luck. Thoughts on some recent happenings:
- So that US Open was kind of a good time, huh? Got a whole lot of people interested in golf, if only for the weekend. On Monday my boss actually pulled the whole office (all five people) into the conference room to watch the end on TV - of course, I already had it up on the computer, but I joined them for office harmony's sake.
I still say Tiger was faking a little. Seriously, I wish I had it on tivo so I could go back through and see what the results were each time he acted like he was in pain vs. when he didn't. I bet there would be a pretty interesting pattern there. And for every Pat Forde, who advises those calling Tiger a drama queen to shut up (um, Pat, have you ever ready any of your own articles?), there's a Retief Goosen who backs up my opinion. And who would know better than another golfer? In any case, seeing as Tiger is shutting it down for the year, my decision to not pick him in fantasy golf last week to save a start is getting worse and worse.
Lastly on golf, for those out there calling Tiger a poor role model for throwing his club in the sand after a bad shot, get a grip. I could write pages and pages about the stupidity of that opinion, but I'm tired, so I'll just say if you are upset at Tiger for throwing his club, you are a freaking moron.
- Speaking of morons, how about the whole Kobe/Jordan debate? I know 8 billion people have written up this angle already, so I won't waste your time any more than I already am. Actually, if you're reading this, you're intentionally trying to waste time, so I'll say a bit.
Now, the legend of Michael Jordan has grown since his retirement, and memories have a tendency to color things in the best possible light and build legends into greater and greater icons over time, but when people say, "Jordan would never get blown out by 40 in the Finals" or "Jordan's teams would never blow a 24 point second half lead in the finals", they're right. And it's not because of his "force of will." What the hell does that even mean? You can't will a team to do anything unless you have magic powers like Harry Potter or Jesus. You can, however, inspire a team due to your leadership. Make no mistake, Jordan could be a jerk at times, but he also commanded respect from his teammates. With Kobe, he's a jerk all the time, and you get the feeling his teammates all hate him - and probably his kids too. Jordan matured, so it's not like it's too late for Kobe to mature into a competent leader, but he's got a long way to go.
Hey, I just flipped on the Twins' game and saw Delmon Young chase the first pitch of the at-bat - which was outside - and hit a weak groundball. Weird.
Anyway, I'm clearly in the "happy for KG" camp, as opposed to the "F KG" camp, so I'm pretty happy for him, weird, rambling, semi-coherent interview aside. Not to mention Pierce and Shuttlesworth. The worst thing ever is the idiotic Minnesota fans calling into radio shows saying how if we could have kept Ray Allen instead of trading him for Marbury this could have been our championship. Hey idiots, two problems - 1. They'd still be missing a Paul Pierce, the #1 reason they won the title (KG was the #1 reason they got there, Pierce why they won), and 2. they never wanted Allen, he was going to be traded to Mi-lee-wau-kay (Algonquin for "the good land") from the get go. If the Wolves were going two guard, they were going with Kerry Kittles who, like most Wolve picks, is out of the league.
- The NBA Draft is right around the corner (please pick Jerryd Bayless) and, as usual, there are some very bad decisions being made. Some of the worst would be CJ Giles (Oregon State), Kalen Grimes (Missouri), Reggie Huffman (UAB), Shawn James (Duquesne), and Walter Sharpe (UAB) - none of whom are likely to be drafted at all. Two very curious decisions are Luc Richard Mbah a Moute from UCLA, Davon Jefferson of USC, and Bill Walker of Kansas State. Mbah a Moute has decided not to withdraw his name, despite no assurances of being drafted at all. Mbah a Moute has been a quality player for UCLA, but needs another year to shake of injury concerns and hone is offensive game. Jefferson had an awesome freshman season, playing with OJ Mayo, but did not distinguish himself enough to be lotto material. After a poor showing at the Orlando predraft camp, he's looking like a second rounder and should have pulled out and given himself a year to improve. Walker hurt his knee in a private workout for the Hornets, and remained in the draft nonetheless. He missed most of the year two seasons ago with a knee injury, recovered and played well last season and was looking like a late first round selection. Now, having not played in Orlando and having only two private workouts, he's almost certainly going to slip into the second round based on injury concerns. Another year with K State, with him being the man, could have vaulted him into the lotter if he could have stayed heatlhy.
There were some smart players who pulled out, including Antonio Anderson, Chase Budinger, and AJ Abrams, who will all have the chance to prove they are big time players and improve their draft position. Other good choices were Derrick Caracter of Louisville (needs to show more consistency and discipline), Ty Lawson (needs to show he can shoot), Robert Vaden (better ballhandling skills), and Lester Hudson (play against better competition).
- It's nice to see Cristian Guzman back in the metrodome, the same place that destroyed his soul and his game back in the second half of 2001. What a complete fall off the map. And the Nationals signed him in 2004 for four years, $17 million. He managed to play 142 games his first year with them, and hit .219/.260/.314 on his way to an OPS+ of 53 (almost identical to last year's Punto), the worst among regular players that year. Then missed all of 2005 and 75% of 2006 with an injury - all while makeing $4.2 million each year. And guess what, he's in a contract year now, so of course he's hitting .316 with some power, and will likely be the Nationals' All-Star representative. In a contract year, imagine that.
- What is up with the roller bags for laptops now? Seriously, it's gotten to the point where people can't even carry a laptop bag on their shoulder? I get it for girls, since they have a purse and what not, but for dudes? Come on guys, get it together.
- Finally, since I know you want it, here's the latest picture of baby W.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh, how cute.
- So that US Open was kind of a good time, huh? Got a whole lot of people interested in golf, if only for the weekend. On Monday my boss actually pulled the whole office (all five people) into the conference room to watch the end on TV - of course, I already had it up on the computer, but I joined them for office harmony's sake.
I still say Tiger was faking a little. Seriously, I wish I had it on tivo so I could go back through and see what the results were each time he acted like he was in pain vs. when he didn't. I bet there would be a pretty interesting pattern there. And for every Pat Forde, who advises those calling Tiger a drama queen to shut up (um, Pat, have you ever ready any of your own articles?), there's a Retief Goosen who backs up my opinion. And who would know better than another golfer? In any case, seeing as Tiger is shutting it down for the year, my decision to not pick him in fantasy golf last week to save a start is getting worse and worse.
Lastly on golf, for those out there calling Tiger a poor role model for throwing his club in the sand after a bad shot, get a grip. I could write pages and pages about the stupidity of that opinion, but I'm tired, so I'll just say if you are upset at Tiger for throwing his club, you are a freaking moron.
- Speaking of morons, how about the whole Kobe/Jordan debate? I know 8 billion people have written up this angle already, so I won't waste your time any more than I already am. Actually, if you're reading this, you're intentionally trying to waste time, so I'll say a bit.
Now, the legend of Michael Jordan has grown since his retirement, and memories have a tendency to color things in the best possible light and build legends into greater and greater icons over time, but when people say, "Jordan would never get blown out by 40 in the Finals" or "Jordan's teams would never blow a 24 point second half lead in the finals", they're right. And it's not because of his "force of will." What the hell does that even mean? You can't will a team to do anything unless you have magic powers like Harry Potter or Jesus. You can, however, inspire a team due to your leadership. Make no mistake, Jordan could be a jerk at times, but he also commanded respect from his teammates. With Kobe, he's a jerk all the time, and you get the feeling his teammates all hate him - and probably his kids too. Jordan matured, so it's not like it's too late for Kobe to mature into a competent leader, but he's got a long way to go.
Hey, I just flipped on the Twins' game and saw Delmon Young chase the first pitch of the at-bat - which was outside - and hit a weak groundball. Weird.
Anyway, I'm clearly in the "happy for KG" camp, as opposed to the "F KG" camp, so I'm pretty happy for him, weird, rambling, semi-coherent interview aside. Not to mention Pierce and Shuttlesworth. The worst thing ever is the idiotic Minnesota fans calling into radio shows saying how if we could have kept Ray Allen instead of trading him for Marbury this could have been our championship. Hey idiots, two problems - 1. They'd still be missing a Paul Pierce, the #1 reason they won the title (KG was the #1 reason they got there, Pierce why they won), and 2. they never wanted Allen, he was going to be traded to Mi-lee-wau-kay (Algonquin for "the good land") from the get go. If the Wolves were going two guard, they were going with Kerry Kittles who, like most Wolve picks, is out of the league.
- The NBA Draft is right around the corner (please pick Jerryd Bayless) and, as usual, there are some very bad decisions being made. Some of the worst would be CJ Giles (Oregon State), Kalen Grimes (Missouri), Reggie Huffman (UAB), Shawn James (Duquesne), and Walter Sharpe (UAB) - none of whom are likely to be drafted at all. Two very curious decisions are Luc Richard Mbah a Moute from UCLA, Davon Jefferson of USC, and Bill Walker of Kansas State. Mbah a Moute has decided not to withdraw his name, despite no assurances of being drafted at all. Mbah a Moute has been a quality player for UCLA, but needs another year to shake of injury concerns and hone is offensive game. Jefferson had an awesome freshman season, playing with OJ Mayo, but did not distinguish himself enough to be lotto material. After a poor showing at the Orlando predraft camp, he's looking like a second rounder and should have pulled out and given himself a year to improve. Walker hurt his knee in a private workout for the Hornets, and remained in the draft nonetheless. He missed most of the year two seasons ago with a knee injury, recovered and played well last season and was looking like a late first round selection. Now, having not played in Orlando and having only two private workouts, he's almost certainly going to slip into the second round based on injury concerns. Another year with K State, with him being the man, could have vaulted him into the lotter if he could have stayed heatlhy.
There were some smart players who pulled out, including Antonio Anderson, Chase Budinger, and AJ Abrams, who will all have the chance to prove they are big time players and improve their draft position. Other good choices were Derrick Caracter of Louisville (needs to show more consistency and discipline), Ty Lawson (needs to show he can shoot), Robert Vaden (better ballhandling skills), and Lester Hudson (play against better competition).
- It's nice to see Cristian Guzman back in the metrodome, the same place that destroyed his soul and his game back in the second half of 2001. What a complete fall off the map. And the Nationals signed him in 2004 for four years, $17 million. He managed to play 142 games his first year with them, and hit .219/.260/.314 on his way to an OPS+ of 53 (almost identical to last year's Punto), the worst among regular players that year. Then missed all of 2005 and 75% of 2006 with an injury - all while makeing $4.2 million each year. And guess what, he's in a contract year now, so of course he's hitting .316 with some power, and will likely be the Nationals' All-Star representative. In a contract year, imagine that.
- What is up with the roller bags for laptops now? Seriously, it's gotten to the point where people can't even carry a laptop bag on their shoulder? I get it for girls, since they have a purse and what not, but for dudes? Come on guys, get it together.
- Finally, since I know you want it, here's the latest picture of baby W.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh, how cute.
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