Monday Musings

-  Biggest news of the day is the Big 10/ACC match-ups have been released, and your Gophers will be traveling to Tallahassee to play the Seminoles of FSU.  This should be one hell of a good test to see how good the Gophers are next season, because FSU loses only two of their top 6 players from last year's NCAA team, and they always play well at home (where they always seem to beat Duke or UNC every year).  Add in a very good recruiting class and their killer defense and this is one of the better teams the Gophers will face in non-conference play in the Tubby Smith-era.  If the Gophers can handle FSU's defense, they'll be able to handle any Big 10 team's defense.  I'm very much looking forward to this one.  With the Gophers in the Battle 4 Atlantis with team's like Duke, Missouri, Memphis, and Louisville they have all the potential in the world to build a really nice resume before we get to conference play.  Or crash and burn and make sure we all now we are once again in for another thrilling year of mediocrity.  I know which one I'm hoping for - although the mediocrity thing does have a comforting ring of familiarity to it.

The other matchups:

North Carolina @ Indiana - has the ring of a marquee matchup to it, but with Indiana installed as the favorite to win the National Championship by Vegas (it's true) and UNC basically gutted from last year this is going to be a 10+ point spread.

NC State @ Michigan - One of the three top matchups (along with Gophers/FSU and Duke/Ohio State), and a really good test for an NC State team that is suddenly finding itself the ACC favorite (even more so if Amile Jefferson picks them today/tomorrow).

Maryland @ Northwestern - The Terps lost most of their talent from an already poor team, while Northwestern's window has probably closed on that elusive first NCAA bid.  Even so, the Wildcats should walk here.

Iowa @ Virginia Tech - Va Tech is going to be super terrible this year, but this is actually a pretty perfect match-up for an Iowa team trying to reach up and grab mediocrity.  This game will go along way towards telling us if they're there yet or still a year away.

Nebraska @ Wake Forest - yeah nobody cares

Ohio State @ Duke - This will be billed as the top matchup and not without reason.  Having the game at Cameron evens the odds a bit, because OSU would roll if this was played in Columbus - and might anyway

Virginia @ Wisconsin - You ready to hear about what a great match-up this is and then be bored to sleep within the first five minutes?  This one might not break 70 total points.

Michigan State @ Miami - Really interesting match-up here.  The Spartans are probably better talent-wise but will still be working on playing without Draymond Green, while Miami has a nice core group of Durand Scott, Reggie Johnson, Kenny Kadji, and Shane Larkin back from last year's team that almost made the NCAA Tournament.  I think at home the Canes might sneak this one out.

Purdue @ Clemson - I have no idea what to make of Purdue this year since the whole team from two years ago is gone.  Clemson's losing it's entire starting back court who just happened to be their top two scorers.  Call this a toss up.

Georgia Tech @ Illinois - The Illini were horrid last year and now bring in a new coach.  Getting Georgia Tech at home is the kind of major opponent they need - shitty, but still a major conference team.

Boston College @ Penn State - oh my god, gross.

If I had to pick it right now, I'd go Florida State, Indiana, Michigan, Iowa, Wake, Ohio State, Wisconsin, Miami, Purdue, Illinois, and BC.  That's 7-4, Big 10.  

 -  One other college hooops note, I was going to do a little writing on Julius Mays, the guard who graduated from Wright State but still has a year of eligibility so was looking to do that thing where you pick a school you want to go to and then find a grad program they have that your current school doesn't offer so you can just transfer and play right away who was considering both Illinois and Purdue.  He would be a pretty important piece considering the lack of guards the Illini and Boilers are both currently sporting due to his 14 points per game and also because Julius Mays is a pretty sweet basketball name.  Kentucky, however, was also interested in Mr. Mays and because Kentucky is awesome and the Big 10 sucks, Mays will be a Wildcat next year so I guess there's not much more to say about that, is there?  These things will happen when you can't motivate yourself to post more than once a week because the Twins have punched you in the nuts.

-  Speaking of the Twins, yuck.  The worst part of this is that when your team totally sucks you should at least be able to look forward to watching the future start playing, but who on this team is even the future?  Scott Diamond, suddenly, and Brian Dozier?  Maybe?  There's suddenly no third basemen at all.  I mean there's nothing now that Valencia is apparently a total flop and Luke Hughes was traded or released or whatever.  We're looking at a solid 3 years or so of crappy old free agents before Miguel Sano is ready, assuming he sticks at third and doesn't get moved to the outfield.  Will it be Kevin Kouzmanoff next year?  Or Mark Teahen?  Maybe Ty Wigginton (that's who I'd put my money on)?  You can be sure that no matter what, he's going to be old and suck.  But at least Sano is keeping things interesting while we wait.  Big thanks for Snacks for emailing me this:

Sano stood in the batter’s box awhile to watch his homer against relief pitcher Carmine Giardiana. He trotted the bases, but virtually stopped a few feet before touching the plate, taking off his batting helmet as Kernels catcher Abel Baker barked at him.
Sano glared at the Kernels dugout after finally touching the plate, with Kernels players continuing to give him significant grief. He took a step toward Baker, and the dugouts began to empty, with umpires Fernando Rodriguez and Paul Clemons, as well as both teams’ coaching staffs, doing a good job of squelching what could have been an ugly scene.

Oh hell yes.  So anyway I don't really know what to make out of Scott Diamond or Brian Dozier, but at least so far they don't make me want to put myself into a coma until the end of baseball season so they got that going for them.  Considering Dozier is hitting just .250 and doesn't walk (with so-so pop) and Diamond has looked good in his two starts but is doing it with a ridiculously low BABIP I'm pretty much clearly grasping at straws, but I think straws is all we got.  Like a homeless clown at a chocolate milk collection.

-  I didn't really like Bryce Harper from day one since he sounded like kind of a douche, but I've done a 180 on him because apparently the mainstream media (more like Lame stream, amiright?) is way too all over hoping this kid fails and makes a fool of himself.  Over the weekend I saw a few different headlines and they were all like "Harper injures self in clubhouse tantrum" or "Harper may miss time after embarrassing spaz out" or something of that variety.  So I read them because, at that time, I wasn't a fan and was hoping it would be really bad (with apologies to Bryce's dad, who was maybe the second best Twins' catcher ever), but holy shit are people stupid.  After going 0-5 with 3 strikeouts he hit the wall with his bat, which ricocheted and hit him in the head.  First of all, who hasn't done something similar like hitting the wall with your bat?  Secondly, when do you think the last time this kid went 0-5 with 3 ks was?  I'm going to guess never, which will probably torque you off a bit, and hitting something with a bat has got to be nearly as common place as getting crabs from a "fan" when you're a major leaguer (or minors even, from what I hear Brendan Donnelly). 

Between this retarded witch hunt and Harper's attitude after getting intentionally beaned by Cole Hamels - all he did was trot to first with no looks, no attitude, no nothing - I'm starting to become a fan.  Then you add him to the best pitcher in world history in Stephen Strasburg, one of my personal faves in Gio Gonzalez, the underrated Jordan Zimmerman, a bunch of young players who some of at least have to workout, and yet another future star in minor leaguer Anthony Rendon and I'm suddenly a Nationals fan.  May even have to get a hat.  But they also have Jayson Werth, so I really can't be that much of a fan.  F that guy.

-  Apparently Josh Hamilton is over how he killed that guy because in case the Twins have made you turn off baseball for good this year he's destroying everything that gets thrown near him.  I find it semi-fascinating because I am fascinated easily but also because he's such a unique player.  Without getting bogged down in the nitty gritty stat world, he's aggressive as hell and swings at anything.  He swings at the highest percentage of pitches of anyone in the majors, and the rest of the guys on the list are either shitty hackers (Clint Barmes, Delmon Young), strikeout machines without the power (Alfonso Soriano, Chris Davis), or solid, but not power, hitters (Starlin Castro, Brandon Phillips).  Adrian Beltre and Miguel Cabrera are #11 and #14 on the list and are near his production levels, but they do it because they make contact a lot with all those swings (85% and 83%) while Hamilton is at just 67%.  In fact, that 67% is the fourth worst in the majors behind human fan machines Yeonis Cespedes, Adam Dunn, and Carlos Gonzalez.  So he swings at way too many pitches and misses way too many of them, yet he's leading the majors in basically everything.

So how is he doing this?  Obviously by crushing the ball when he does make contact, but it's not by hitting line drives where he's around league average, it's that when he gets the ball in the air it's flying over the fence.  Nearly half of the flyballs he's hit this year have been home runs, tops in the league (Matt Kemp is the only other player even close to Hamilton), more than double his usual percentage, and a number nobody has approached like, ever (or since 2002 when this data became available).  He's also hitting .407 on balls in play, but the numbers say that should be around .330 even on this hot streak.  So I got some news for ya - Hamilton is going to go down in a big way, whether it's simple regression, injury, gets a hankerin' to chase the dragon again, or finally gets charged for murdering that guy with a baseball.  If you have him in fantasy, trade him.  Or just watch him burn.

Tuesday Talkers

Well my derby picks didn't exactly work out, but Mrs. W randomly picked the winner, "I'll Have Another", probably because she's a raging alcoholic and that brought in some dough.  Which, naturally, she immediately assumes is hers and has already been trying to figure out what to buy with it.  Funny how that works.  When I win and make a withdrawal, she's buys something.  When she wins and I don't make a withdrawal, she's buys something.  Frankly as long as she keeps reading that book I don't much care what else she does.  In any case, sorry for the shitty derby picks.  Here's some other thoughts on what's going on.

-  Gopher dream transfer Trent Lockett picked Marquette over the Gophers, and it appears that your favorite team was never really in the mix.  Whether it's because Lockett had no interest (understandable), Tubby and no interest (ridiculous), or simply because they didn't have a scholarship (come on), from what I can tell from very limited research he never even considered the U.  It's too bad because he would have been the second or third best player on the team depending on where you want to slot Dre Hollins, but if the Gophers were going to lose a player (well kind of) losing one on the wing was the way to go.  They should have enough perimeter guys to get them through, but this puts a ton of extra pressure on the Hollins twins.  Assuming Mbakwe is healthy (yes a big assumption) it's going to be on those two how good/how far this Gopher team can go.  Well, them and Charles Buggs, the next Hakim Warrick/JaJuan Johnson.  Give it time.  Love has patience.

-  Sticking with college basketball, inside sources have confirmed for me that Butler is moving to the Atlantic-10, which is a great move for both parties.  Butler gets to step up and challenge itself with programs like Xavier and Temple (assuming they're not moving because frankly I can't keep up with all the moves), while the A-10 grabs another marquee school (I know they weren't last year, but back-to-back Final Fours says a lot).  Apparently the A-10 is also looking to grab VCU and George Mason out of the Colonial, and that pretty much has to vault them ahead of the Mountain West for basketball power, doesn't it?  Certainly Conference USA if they weren't there already, and possibly even the Pac-10 the way things are going lately.  Crazy basketball world.    Next thing you know San Diego State will be in the Big East.

-  I know, I should talk Twins but they suck worse than Woody Allen movies.  I mean, all these people are in the lineup tonight:  Komatsu (I literally have no idea who this is, where's Ben Revere?), Brian Dozier, Danny Valencia, Trevor Plouffe, Drew Butera, and Jamey Carroll.  How many of those guys are big league hitters?  Valencia and Plouffe combined make one?  Honestly how many Twins could you even write anything positive about this year?  Span (for being a good leadoff guy), Willingham (for not completely tanking after his hot start), and Doumit (for doing exactly what he's supposed to - be average at everything with average defense at 3 positions)?  I mean for fuck's sake they were just praising Mauer for hitting a double - a double that was a blooper down the left field line (yes I'm actually watching the game, but just until Mrs. W is out of the shower because she won't watch this garbage and they're way too shitty for me to go all the way downstairs to watch.) 

I guess the bullpen has been better than expected because three guys are having good years out of there (Burton, Gray, Burnett), but you Burnett and at least one of those other two is going to go back to sucking, the most important reliever (Capps) might be the worst one in the pen not named Maloney, and pretty much all of this is moot because the Twins have to have the worst rotation in all of baseball.  And there's no hope for the future.  None.  The only possible prayer is the Twins' knock this upcoming draft out of the park with a bunch of college players who are going to be close to ready and can get here before Morneau and Mauer are completely washed up, because you know damn well the Twins are stuck with those two for the rest of their careers because nobody else is going to overpay to that extent.  A terrible present and a non-existent future.  This is exactly how the Wolves used to feel.  I guess the Twins need a Rubio in this draft.  What would that be, some kind of pitcher with studly stuff who makes the game fun to watch?  Yeah, I'd take that.  Thanks for nothing, Kyle Gibson.  But apparently this team completely owns Dan Haren, which makes total sense.

-  Staying with baseball for a moment, did you see my boyfriend Cole Hamels got suspended for five games for admitting to intentionally hitting Brian Harper's dickhead kid?  And here's how it went down - Hamels plunked him in the back, not the head or anywhere, but the back - the most accepted place to hit someone intentionally.  Harper went to first without a look, without a glance, without a reaction (which was kind of surprising because unlike his dad I thought he was kind of a dick).  Then later Hamels comes up and Jordan Zimmerman hits Cole in the leg, to which he just jogs down to first without a look or reaction.  Hard-nosed baseball where all parties understand exactly what's going on.  But because Hamels admitted it he gets rung for five games (which for a starting pitcher means 1 game but still).  What about Zimmerman, shouldn't he get a game too?  It's all so stupid.  I'm not a big whiner about the "pussification of America" since I think football and surfing should be outlawed as too dangerous, but this is so stupid.  If somebody hits a dude in the head then yeah, hammer him.  But this was harmless.  Hamels should pitch in a skirt next time.  If nothing else it'd be kinda hot.

-  Last baseball thing quick.  I was following a Mets' game the other night due to a wager I made (3 actually, and I won all 3 so suck it) and these were some Met players:  Kirk Nieuwenheis, Andres Torres, Josh Thole, Justin Turner, Ruben Tejada, Mike Baxter, and Mike Nickeas.  Those are all batters.  I'm in a pretty deep fantasy baseball league and regularly play baseball player prop bets so I know players quite well even in the NL, and I'm only vaguely familiar with a couple of those guys.  That team may be more messed up than the Twins, and they have more money (although most of it is wrapped up in Jason Bay lolololol oh wait Twins/Mauer right).  Actually bite my tongue because apparently when your recreations all involve following players you sometimes miss shit like the Mets are 17-13.  I'm not going to go sever my own limbs with a chainsaw and then drown myself in my own blood. 

That was pretty morbid.  Go Twins.

Week in Review - 7-4-2011

 Happy fourth of July everyone.  And that will be the entirety of my introduction.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Mike Cuddyer.  It pains me to praise Cuddy.  There's so much to hate:  inability to understand what a "strike zone" is, inability to realize that he's getting that down and away in the dirt slider every time he has 2 strikes, and constant media whoring to name a few, but sometimes you gotta give credit where it's due:  Congrats on making your first all-star time, Cuddy Bear.  There's something to be said for a guy who can and will play LF, RF, 2b, 3b, 1b, and SS, especially on a team with a bunch of prima donnas who "don't like to DH" or "refuse to play anywhere except catcher."  More importantly though is he almost seems to have a knack for picking up his hitting when the team needs him most.  First, back in 2009 when he basically carried the offense on his back after Morneau went down and then currently with all the injuries with him being on fire since May.  He's not really an all-star, but they do have to pick one person from every team (Ron Coomer made it once for christ's sake) and I gotta say - guy deserves it.  Mainly because Kubel got hurt, but it still counts.  So congrats Cuddy.  I hope they trade you.

2.  Vance Worley.   As you've probably heard, the Philadelphia Phillies have quite the pitching rotation - Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Cole Hamels, and Roy Oswalt each would be the ace of nearly every other team in the league.  So the last thing they need (from an opponent point of view) is a good fifth starter, which means everyone should be looking around a little nervously after Worley's outing against the Red Sox on Wednesday.  He threw 7 innings of 5 hit, 1 run ball against the red-hot Sox, which now brings his ERA down to 2.57 on the year.  He's still more of a reliever being stretched into a starter, but with Oswalt on the shelf now they'll need him in the rotation full-time.  I was going to write something else but honestly does anybody give a crap about this guy right now?  Let's just wait for the playoffs and then we'll talk about him if we need to.

3.  Nick Watney.  He won the AT&T National by 2 shots after going bogey-free over the last 27 holes, shot a 62 on Friday to break the course record at Aronimink, and is on my fantasy team.  The perfect trifecta that every golfer shoots for.

4.  Aramis Ramirez.  I don't know if any single hitter is hotter than Ramirez right now.  He homered 4 times this week including a couple ninth-inning jobbers, one of which was off of Giants' closer Brian Wilson to tie the game - the first homer allowed by Wilson all year.  He also pinch hit and knocked in the winning run in the bottom of the ninth in a different game against the Giants and has hit .400 with 7 homers in his last 11 games.  To be completely honest there's little that bores me as much as the Cubs and the worldwide obsession with them, but sometimes someone just keeps hitting home runs and game winning hits off of people who don't generally give up those kinds of things and then sometimes I take notice.  This is one of those times.

5.  Bryce Harper.  Yes, Brian Harper's kid is proving himself to be a bit of a douche by doing things like blowing kisses to opposing pitchers after he goes yard, but he is also hitting the ever-loving shit out of the ball.  After demolishing the pitching in single-A this year to the tune of .318/.423/.554 with 14 homers, 17 doubles, and 15 steals, he just got promoted to double A ball.  At the age of 18. He's killed the ball at every stop so far (Instructional League, Arizona Fall League, and now single-A) and there really isn't any reason why he shouldn't continue to do so.  So basically a total asshat is going to fly through the minors without any issues and arrive in the big leagues with zero humbless and 100% asshattery.  This is going to be spectacular.


WHO SUCKED

1.  Matt Capps.  I am so sick of Matt Capps and his stupid fat face and his stupid fake Jesse Crain necklace.  It was a stupid trade when they made it, especially when you consider how the team's starting catcher is more brittle than the 6-month old skeleton of that dead hooker I have in my closet, and it's an even more stupid trade now that Cappsy completely refuses to get anybody out.  Not that it should surprise anyone since the only really remarkable thing about his pitching is his consistent opportunities to get saves for shitty teams.  His career ERA, career WHIP, and career mediocre stuff basically scream middle reliever/low-end setup guy, but in 2007 the Pirates didn't have anyone in the bullpen and, after trying Salomon Torres with little success, made Capps their closer and he saved 18 games in mediocre fashion and has been tabbed a closer ever since, which is how we ended up here, with no back-up catcher and a shitty bullpen.  Huzzah! 

2.  Nick Blackburn.  Speaking of mediocre as shit pitchers who get far too much credit, welcome back to reality Nick Blackburn.  A soft-tossing nancy can actually have a long and lucrative career as long as he's left-handed, but seeing as Blackburn throws correctly he will instead continue to flounder about as a 5th starter, maybe 4th, and although he'll have very good stretches at times (like earlier this year) he'll also always fall back into line as a 4th or 5th starter, tops.  Regression to the mean is a very real thing, and also a cruel mistress.  And not the good kind.  You know what I'm talking about.

3.  Joe Mauer.  I know what you're thinking - "Dude, the Twins aren't playing all that badly right now, why so many Twins call-outs?"  And it's because these three guys have been just brutally bad.  I won't get into Mauer's deal too much here because I plan on writing an entire post about it later this week, but let me give you a little spoiler:  he sucks. 

4.  MLB All-Star choices.  Way to go morons.  And I'm not even talking about your average mouth-breather who shows up to games and votes for Derek Jeter and every other Yankee.  I think we've washed our hands of them, yes?  Then it's up to the managers to get everything else right.  Well not really.  Enter poor Andrew McCutchen.  Maybe the best hitting/fielding combo outfielder in the NL, but doesn't make it.  Why?  Because they took Pirate "closer" Joel Hanrahan instead because he has a bunch of saves and is actually having a really good year now that I look it up and he's a totally worthy all-star so I'm kind of losing some wind here.  But McCutchen is really awesome and deserves it.  Actually the fact that he doesn't make it and Cuddy does should really be enough reason to overhaul the whole thing, but I just got my new KC Royals hat in the mail so what do I care?

5.  Kenny Britt.  This guy is taking the art of "talented headcase" to a whole new level.  Whereas your classic headcases like Randy Moss and Terrell Owens generally don't harm anyone other than themselves (and possibly their teammates), Britt seems to be heading more down the Lawrence Phillips path.  Britt surrendered himself to police this weekend because of two warrants for giving false information on a drivers license application, which sounds pretty lame but then you combine that with his three arrests for resisting arrest, including one that ended up in a police chase, and he's going to end up doing something really, really stupid one of these days soon.  If you have him in a keeper league I'd unload immediately.  Call me.


Lastly, I'm sure you all want to know what was on the menu for 4th of July dinner.  Credit goes to Mrs. W on this one - she made a cucumber dill dip (awesome), blue cheese meatballs for the grill (super awesome), and corn on the cob.  The first two were just tremendous, and then corn on the cob is always good but kind of boring.   Anybody know a good way to fancy it up a bit?

Six Very Important Things this Morning 8.17.2010

1.  In Gopher Football talk, this sucks.  According to whoever runs the Pioneer Press's Gopher twitter, MarQueis Gray spent the day playing WR for the Gophers, which I would assume means he won't be playing QB and we're stuck with Adam Weber again, but this time sans security blanket.  That leads to an upside of a mid-tier bowl, with a downside of zero bowl.  I've talked here about how I love what Fred Hoiberg is doing to try to turn Iowa State around by taking big risks, and I think that's where the Gophers need to go if they want a shot at relevance.  The best way to go about that is to scrap whatever kind of boring typical offense they're running and go with something more interesting.

The spread would have been an option (which Brewster has already killed), as would the wishbone (no chance), but my favorite option is to take the ball and give it to an incredible athlete with some QB experience in his background and turn him loose.  If only they could find somebody like that somewhere.  And if he was ranked as the 3rd best dual threat QB in his high school class, that would be even better.  But how could the Gophers ever land somebody like that?  I guess it's a pipe dream.


2.  No, not that kind of punchout.  In news that sucks for Mets' fans and Francisco Rodriguez fantasy owners, K-Rod is going to miss the rest of the season after injuring his thumb punching out either his father-in-law, girlfriend's father, or baby mama's father depending on which article you read.  Of course, that's not really the important part, the important part is that an ace reliever is going to miss the rest of the season after punching an old man who ended up in the hospital with (a lump on his head and scratches on his face.)  Is it just me here, or does it kind of sound like K-Rod fights like how I imagine Nick Punto probably fights.

3.  Since we're talking domestic violence, how about "Born Ready?"  I feel sad, because Lance "Born Ready" Stephenson was one of my favorite players last year.  Not because of his play, which kind of alternated between disinterested, ballhog, and unstoppable star, but because of his potential.  If he could harness himself a little better, focus more, and stay in control he could have been an absolute beast for Cincy.  Instead he turned pro, got drafted by the Pacers in the mid-first round, had an excellent summer league, and then threw his girlfriend down the stairs and slammed her head into said stairs after she was done rolling.  That's not domestic violence, that's like, a whole new level.  I think I saw Steven Seagal pull that move on Gary Busey in Under Siege.  Awesome then, just like that entire movie.  Not so awesome here.

4.  I wonder how this will turn out.  As of this writing (it's 10:30pm) #1 overall pick Bryce Harper had exactly a half hour to sign with the Nationals.  If he doesn't the Nats lose his rights and he would go back into the draft next year following another year of college ball.  There is, of course, no way that this will happen, because this is the guy who dropped out of high school after his sophomore year so he could get his GED, get started in JuCo ball and get drafted as soon as possible.  Everything this kid has done has been geared towards getting him into the Major Leagues, there is no way he's going to set the clock back an entire year over what is basically peanuts compared to his potential earnings.  Then again, douchebags who wear war paint eye black and get habitually tossed from games for arguing with umpires aren't exactly known for making sound decisions. 

[UPDATE:  He signed.  SHOCKER.]

5.  Shawn Marcum almost pitched a no-hitter against Oakland.  But that's no the exciting part since we are learning that the A's can't hit even a little bit.  The exciting news was that I saw, with m own two eyes, Boof Bonser on the hill for Oakland.  He looked awfully familiar, still featuring a low-nineties fastball, a lollipop slow curve, and an incredibly hittable slider, all to go along with a general lack of ability to hit his spots.  He threw two decent innings, allowing no runs on 3 hits and striking out one and lowering his season ERA to 7.20 and his WHIP to a terrifying 2.40. 

He's only pitched on four occasions this year:  June 9th with the Red Sox when he got destroyed and didn't get an out, June 11th with the Sox when he got knocked around the yard, then August 6th with Oakland when he pitched a good inning, and finally last night.  He's actually put up pretty awful numbers in the minors this year as well so I'm not really sure what Oakland is doing exactly, but I'm rooting for him for what it's worth.     

6.  This would be so awesome.  I've talked about a similar idea here before, but four top Indiana hoops programs are getting together to create the Crossroads Classic, where Indiana, Notre Dame, Purdue, and Butler will combined to play a doubleheader in both 2011 and 2012 at Conseco Fieldhouse.  Very cool.  My idea is some sort of Mid-West Classic tournament, say the Gophers, Iowa State, a Missouri Valley team, and either a MAC, OVC, or Horizon League team and just play a four-team tournament, alternating hosts each year between the Gophers and Cyclones.  Some years you could invite really good teams (Northern Iowa, Butler, etc.) and other years you could go further down the list.  I think this would rock.  But of course, since it's fun and awesome it will never happen since athletic directors and presidents hate fun.


As far as some site/personal news goes, Wonderbaby 2.0 will be arriving today at approximately 11:30am.  As such, posting may (or may not) be far more sporadic for a while.  I'll do my best to post as often as time and energy permits, but just know that you might not get a post every day for a while.  No, stop crying.  Come on.  You're embarrassing yourself.  Your co-workers are looking at you.  You're so ugly when you cry. 

Weekend Review - 8/2/2010

Remember how these Weekend Reviews used to be just for the weekend stuff, and then they morphed into the full week in review?  Well, now that I'm doing daily postings, they're going back to weekend reviews only.  I think.  For now.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Kevin Slowey.  You know, if he had just pitched like this all year nobody would be worried.  When he's on he's just an excellent, efficient, strike-throwing, out-recorded machine.  Obviously we haven't seen enough of that version of Slowey this year, leading to all the Haren/Oswalt/Lilly talk, but with Pavano and Liriano essentially dominant at this point if Slowey (and Baker) can start pitching well the Twins could end up being a serious problem for somebody in the playoffs.  Or those two will continue to suck, leading to down-to-the-wire pennant race where the winner gets swept in the first round.

2.  Francisco Liriano.   Seven innings, 2 hits allowed, no runs, eleven strikeouts, and it's really just a ho-hum effort at this point.  He's now tossed 21 straight scoreless innings, and is looking very close to his 2006 form.  Honestly I'm almost getting sick of writing about him, even as he's getting more and more enjoyable to watch.  Seriously, is there anything better than watching him carve up a lineup, and do it in a completely different way than Pavano?  Man I really hope those other jackasses in the rotation get their shit together.   This next week and a half is going to tell us a lot, with the next 10 games on the road including matchups with Tampa and the White Sox.   

3.  Stuart Appleby.  Do you remember two years ago when Stewart Cink won the British Open and I had to say nice things about him because he won?  Well I hate Cink, so that really sucked.  This also sucks, because Stuart Appleby is basically nothing but a cotton-headed ninny-muggins, and he won the Greenbrier Classic this week because he shot a 59 on Sunday, and a 59 is a score that has only been reached like five times or something like that, so it's pretty impressive.  Less impressive was Jeff Overton missing a 3-foot birdie putt on 17 that would have tied Appleby and then blaming a ballmark for the miss.  Also, how is this thing called the Greenbrier "Classic" when it's in its first year of existence?  Seems like false advertising.  

4.  Gavin Floyd.  Why is he so good now?  He pitched six perfect innings on Sunday against the A's before it was broken up, but finished with yet another sparkling outing.  Since June 8th, here are his earned runs allowed by game:  1-1-1-0-2-1-1-1-0-0.  That's ridiculous.  And it feels like the entire team has started doing this crap.  The Twins are a far better team than Chicago, but if they keep getting pitching like this they're going to be awfully tough to beat.  Luckily the just acquire Edwin Jackson, so we're good.

5.  Texas Rangers.  Not because of their play this weekend, when they dropped two of three against the Angels, but because they have now positioned themselves as a darkhorse World Series candidate.  The rotation was already pretty good with the emergence of Tommy Hunter, Colby Lewis, and C.J. Wilson and they added Cliff Lee.  The bullpen is outstanding.  Parts of their lineup were already stacked (Josh Hamilton, Elvis Andrus, Nelson Cruz, and Michael Young) and where they had weaknesses they went out and acquired pieces to address it:  Cristian Guzman at 2B, Jorge Cantu at first, and Bengie Molina behind the plate.  None of those guys are awesome or anything, but they all shore up weak areas for Texas.  Look out for these guys, serious sleeper potential. 

.

WHO SUCKED

1.  Chicago White Sox.  So let me get this straight.  First of all, they weren't able to get the guy they really wanted, Adam Dunn, or either of there backup plans, Lance Berkman or Manny Ramirez, and they even had a deal in place for Berkman but he vetoed it.  Then they end up trading for Edwin Jackson, a pitcher who has been on three teams in three years, has a 5.16 ERA in the National League this year, has a career 4.74 ERA, leads the NL in earned runs allowed, and is going to make $8.35 million this year.  And they traded two of their top 10 prospects for him.  And the only reason they traded for him is because the Nats made them think that getting him was the key to getting Dunn.  Psych, I guess.  Well played Nats, well played.  White Sox?  More like White Sux, am I right?

2.  Seattle Mariners.  Wow, way to not put up any resistance at all, and following up a sweep by the White Sox as well leads me to the conclusion that the Mariners are the most worthless team in baseball.  Yes, the same Mariners that I said were a sleeper World Series candidate.  Let's all agree that I never said that, k?

3.  Bryce Harper.  I'm pretty sure Bryce Harper is a douche.  I mean, I already kind of did, considering he has been anointed a future star since he was like six and he wears war paint when he plays like some douche from Precision Tree, but check out his facebook profile (No, I didn't stalk him, this is from an article on yahoo)

I mean really.  Between the picture and using his status as a tool to try to get a better contract?  Ugh.  Count me out.  I hope Strasburg beans him in BP, assuming Bryce gets to the bigs someday.  Really, I'd think a former Twin would raise his kid better than this.

4.   Early season NFL injuries.  Are there always this many injuries before practices even start?  Dez Bryant.  Knowshon Moreno.  Percy Harvin.  DeSean Jackson.  Wes Welker.  I mean, how are people getting hurt?  Isn't this the part where they don't do anything but watch film and do non-contract drills?  Sounds like a bunch of sissies to me.  I  guess we already know Harvin is, thanks to his Justin Morneau-like response to headaches.  Just seems weird.  Or maybe I'm stretching for subjects to write about.

5.  Angelina.  Seriously, why is she even there?  None of the guys want her there.  None of the girls want her there.  She's only there because she's jealous of the fame these dorks have now achieved, however much they don't actually deserve it.  Perhaps the best part is that she thinks nobody likes her because she left early last season, but in reality nobody likes her because she's a terrible person who talked trash about all of them.  And why would anybody talk shit about JWoww.  That chick would straight up murder you in your sleep if she so much as thought you looked at her wrong.  Honestly as hot as she is if she wanted to sleep with me I'd turn her down because I'd be afraid that I wouldn't perform up to her standards and her response would be to break a bottle on the headboard and then stab me in the balls.


The End.  I would have written more but it's Shark Week.  Holla.

Check this Out

While watching Denard Span single-handedly beat the Tigers, I had a thought.

Here are Joe Mauer's numbers going into tonight:  .300 avg, .378 OBP, .428 slugging, 3 HRs, 34 RBI.

Sound at all familiar.  It should.  Let's extrapolate those numbers to the rest of the season, and then compare them against a prominent catcher from the team's past:

Yes, that's right.  Your precious Joe Mauer's is putting up nearly identical numbers to Brian Harper's 162-game averages while he was a Twin, only with less power and more walks.

The Twins have committed $23 million a year to Brian Harper with chicken-arms.  And sadly, that $23 mil is more than the real Brian Harper made in his entire career (best season = $2.5 mil). 

Not only that, but he gave the world two amazing gifts:

1.  His only begotten son, Bryce, a blessed deity inhabiting a human body, who was sent to the Washington Nationals to lead them out of the shadow of satan (Cristian Guzman).

2.  That sweet stache.

So really, who should be making the $23 million here?

This nerd:

Or this obvious lady-killer:

Choose Wisely.

Week in Review - 5/24/2010

 How weird is it that in my very last post, the one about Justin Cobbs, I referenced 'Lil Romeo and his career at USC, and now news is breaking all over the place that Romeo is leaving the program.  Some people just report the news.  I create it.  With great power, comes great responsibility.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Kobe Bryant.  I'm pretty sure anybody arguing that Kobe isn't the best player in the NBA at this point is either retarded or a moron, and it absolutely kills me to compliment him.  It's impossible not to after the games he's put together against the Suns this week.  Game 1:  40 points on 13-23 shooting, 5 assists, 5 boards.  Game 2:  21 points on 8-18 shooting, 13 assists, 5 rebounds.  And he was masterful.  Took over scoring in Game 1 when the Suns single-covered him, and then became facilitator when they doubled him in Game 2.  If he played like this all the time, he'd be the clear-cut best player in the NBA (he also had 36-11-9 in Game 3 but I didn't watch it because I was watching Lost so I can't comment).  Plus, he made an appearance on the awesome awesome Modern Family for their season finale, and actually seemed somewhat likable.  Or at least he didn't rape anybody.  That I know of.

2.  Dice-K.   Matsuzaka almost pitched a no-hitter on Saturday night, going 7 and 2/3 before giving up a soft single to Juan Castro (yes, THE Juan Castro) to break it up.  And why wouldn't he?  I mean he came into that game with an ERA of 5.97 and WHIP of 1.3, and had only made it 7 innings in one of his four starts since returning from injury, so it was obvious a game like this was coming.  Seriously, what is the deal with Boston and pitchers?  It's like anybody who goes there suddenly has these random unhittable nights.  Lester and Buchholz have no-hitters in the last couple of years, and now Dice-K with this masterful performance out of nowhere.  I'd be fascinated by this and look up who the pitching coach there is, but I hate the Red Sox with all my heart so I'm not going to waste any more time here.

3.  Bryce Harper.  I suppose it's gotten to the point where I can't really ignore Harper anymore, especially since he's going to be the number 1 pick for the Nationals in the upcoming amateur draft, and helped propel his JC team to the JuCo World Series.  How did he lead them to the NJCAA Western Division Championship?  Simply by hitting for the cycle on Friday and then following that up with a 6-6 game with four home runs and ten RBIs, going 12 for 13 in the last two games.  They hype on this kid has been ridiculous, but it's looking like he might actually be able to live up to it.  More background here if you're interested, but in case you aren't familiar with him a quick summary is that he's a 17-year old catcher who dropped out of high school to attend the College of Southern Nevada after his sophomore year, taking the GED in order to get eligible to play and will now be eligible for the draft despite not being able to vote yet.  Basically his whole life has been geared around being a professional baseball player.  When this burn out comes, it's going to be spectacular.  You know those repressed kids who get to college and just go insane with freedom?  Like that x100.

4.   Edwin Jackson.  You remember this guy.  Big-time prospect for the Rays, who was then a big-time prospect for the Tigers, who was then shipped to the D-backs for Max Scherzer.  So far this season, it had looked like there was a reason he'd been on three teams in three years, racking up a 7.43 ERA in 8 starts, allowing 60 hits in 46 innings, and walking 18 with just 32 strikeouts.  Suddenly this week, however, things look like they might be turning around.  On Monday he went 8 innings, allowing 4 hits and no runs while striking out 12 and walking just two.  Then on Saturday, he followed it up with a 7 and 2/3 inning performance, allowing six hits and five runs.  That Saturday outing may not sound that great, but he struck out 9 and walked none, and had allowed just one run through seven innings before giving up a couple of homers in the 8th.  He may very well go back to sucking, but that 21-2 K/BB ratio in his last two starts says he may have turned a corner.

5.  Justin Morneau.  Good god.  Completely ridiculous.  You know how a lot of people say Ted Williams was the best hitter ever?  And others go with Ruth, or Bonds, or maybe Ty Cobb?  Clearly all those people are idiots, because it's obvious Morneau is the best hitter ever.  I haven't looked this up, but I'm pretty sure his line drive % this year is 100%.  Or maybe like 75%, with 24% being home runs and 1% being ground balls that are hit so hard infielders are jumping out of the way.  Seriously, remember how amazing Joe Mauer's season was last year?  And yeah, it was pretty incredible, but this year Morneau is better than him in every single statistic.  18 points higher in batting average, 53 points higher in OBP, and 114 points better in slugging, and he's on pace to hit 15 or so more homers and walk about 60 more times.  Just crazy numbers.  Let's put it this way.  Morneau is about 30% better this year compared to Mauer last year if we use OPS+ as our guide.  To put that in perspective, last year Mauer was about 30% better than Michael Cuddyer last year.  That's how good Morneau has been.


WHO SUCKED

1.  Orlando Magic.  There is just so much to choose from here.  What's your favorite part?  Vince Carter's Dajuan Wagner impression at the end of game 2?  Getting smoked in an absolute must-win game by 23 in a game that wasn't nearly that close?  Letting Rasheed become a major factor?  Letting Big Baby become a major factor?  Dwight Howard being dominated in two of the three games by a combination of Kendrick Perkins and Rasheed?  Rashard Lewis taking three games to finally surpass his season per game average in scoring, and only surpassing it by a single point thanks to his 6-24 shooting?  Or maybe watching as KG and Ray Allen, who had looked pretty broken down at times this season, suddenly dominating like it was 2002.  Just a whole lot to love here.  I suppose I could give credit to the Celtics, but that's not nearly as fun, and it's really been pretty pathetic.  Orlando Tragic, indeed.

2.  Tommy Hanson.   There's nothing quite as exquisite as watching someone I've pimped on the record completely flame out.  Except instead of exquisite I mean whatever is the exact opposite of that.  Hanson is having an excellent year thus far, and will likely continue to have an excellent year, and will probably have a very good career, but for one afternoon he was doing a hell of a Jesse Crain impression if Crain was a starter.  On Thursday against the Reds, Hanson couldn't even get out of the second inning.  He faced a total of 16 batters, and got less than a third of them out, giving up 8 hits, 2 walks, and 8 earned runs in just 1 and 2/3 innings.  Ouch, Tommy.  Ouch.  I feel betrayed.  Like Caesar.  Or the Cherokee.

3.  Rickie Weeks.   Once a top prospect, Weeks struggled for his first four seasons a bit, being about a league average hitter and below average fielder.  Then last season, he seemed to be putting it together, adding some power to his already always impressive on-base percentage, hitting 9 home runs in his first 37 games, and looked like he might fault towards the top of the second-basemen rankings if such a thing existed.  Unfortunately, an injury derailed the rest of the season and he missed the rest of the year.  He started off this season again like gangbusters and was kicking some ass, but the last couple of weeks he's fallen off the face of the planet.  He went 3-18 this week.  When added to his 3-24 week the week prior, you can see why his average has dropped from the .330s where it was earlier this season all the way down to the .230s.  His power is also gone (slugging .382, lowest of his career), and he's already made five errors - which I think is more than the entire Twins team.  I think his window has pretty much closed, and he's never going to end up living up to his potential.  It's probably the dreadlocks.

4.  Kerry Wood.  Remember when I mentioned that Wood would probably be a pretty sought after closer around the trade deadline this year assuming he got healthy?  Well, he got healthy.  Too bad he sucks.  On Friday he pitched an inning against the Reds, giving up a home run, and actually lowered his ERA by more than two runs.  That's because on Wednesday he pitched against the Royals, and only managed to get one out.  While trying to get that one out, he walked two batters and gave up four hits, allowing five runs to score.  He did pitch a scoreless inning Sunday which lowered his ERA to 13.50 and WHIP to 2.63, and might end up being good again, but he certainly didn't get himself off to a good start.

5.  Channing Frye.  As far as NBA players go, Frye is not a particularly good one, although he's not terrible either.  He does have one particularly valuable skill however, and that is being 6-11 and being able to make three-pointers.  In fact, he made them at a 44% clip, good enough for 6th in the league, was in the All-Star 3-point contest, and takes more than half his attempts from behind the arc.  He's basically a more accurate Rick Rickert, except in the NBA it's a valuable skill and doesn't necessarily mean you're a big baby who is afraid to play inside.   Anyway, when a guy with one skill can't pull off that skill in the Western Conference Finals, it ain't pretty.  Through three games he's 1-14 from three, and 1-20 overall from the floor.  Somehow, the Suns are only down 2-1 despite this.  Just a brutal choke job.  Also, can somebody please tell Jared Dudley to stop cheering for himself so hard every time he makes a shot?  It's really irritating.  Like watching some chowder at open gym who finally hits a shot after clanging ten in a row off the side of the backboard.


Special mention for suckitude to Todd Coffey.  What a spaz.  I'm surprised they don't make him wear a helmet out there.