Tuesday Talkers

 I hate this time of year.  Not because of Christmas because I love Christmas because hey, no work, but because there's so little going on.  College basketball is just so slow.  There might be an interesting game or two, but in general it's pretty boring.  And next week is even worse with Christmas and stuff.  I have no idea why college kids can't play basketball over Christmas week.  I doubt they like their families anyway.  So since I have nothing else to write about and I just did a movie blog, here's just some stuff.


- Things should be a bit more entertaining when Rutgers joins the Big 10 than previously hoped.  Not because they're any good, because they're still pretty terrible at 5-7 this year (with a loss to William & Mary!) but because former Hoya Greg Whittington has committed to play for the Scarlet Knights after getting kicked off the team at Georgetown.  Whittington is a solid player who averaged 12 points and 7 rebounds per game for Georgetown last season before being ruled ineligible.  Of course I suppose it's a a question of if he ever actually arrives there considering that being ruled ineligible and then getting kicked off the team, not to mention he's dealing with ACL tear right now.  And I don't know when he'd be eligible to play or how many years he'll have left since his circumstances are a bit weird.  Hooray for information!

-  North Carolina is a fascinating team this year, and I don't just mean because they've beaten Louisville, Michigan State, and Kentucky while losing to Belmont and UAB, although that's pretty crazy in and of itself.  I mean because they're playing a completely different style than anyone else in basketball.  The average basketball team takes 32.5% of their field goal attempts from behind the 3-point arc, and scores 26% of it's total points on three-pointers.  The Tar Heels take just 15.9% of their shots from three, and that shot makes up just 10.7% of their points - both of those are dead last in the NCAA.  The team in front of them in % of attempts (Lamar) takes 19.8% of their shots from three, and the team in front of them for % of points from three (Bowling Green) gets 14.3% of their points from deep.  So North Carolina ignores the three point shot to at extent that nobody else can even touch, and it's intentional because almost every year under Roy Williams they've ranked in the 330s in those metrics (I had no idea).  It's probably a good thing since they shoot under 30% and Marcus Paige is their only halfway reliable shooter, but isn't that weird.  I think it's weird.  And I'm sharing it with you because you deserve to know weird things that are weird.

-  If you're wondering about the Gophers, and I'm sure you are since this is allegedly a Gopher blog, they take 39.6% of their shots from three (48th) and get 32.1% of their points from there (54th), shooting an above average 35.7% (vs. 33.9% national average).  These numbers are all up considerably from last season when the Gophers were ranked in the 270s, which makes sense both given the change in roster make up and Pitino's emphasis on the 3-ball.  Plus, it's way more fun.

-  Semi-Gopher related, but if Rashad Vaughn ends up at Iowa State (I said if!!) he's in for a monster year.  Hoiberg gives his guards so much freedom offensively and such little responsibility defensively that he'll end up averaging like 25 a game.  I don't know that it's the best thing for his development, but it's not like a bad defensive year will suddenly drop him out of the first round of the draft.  I really hope he's a Gopher next season, but I can see the Iowa State appeal no doubt.

-  Apparently Miramax is going to be producing a sequel to Rounders and will be turning Good Will Hunting into a television series.  These both sound like horrible ideas.  Rounders 2 could be good depending on where they take the characters, but for some reason I'm picturing a version of the Hangover with more gambling, and I suppose that could be entertaining even if it isn't necessarily "good" if you know what I mean.  The Good Will Hunting series is baffling.  I have no idea what they'd even do with it.  Hopefully someone smarter than me has that one figured out already.

- Tons of stuff going down in baseball with the winter meetings and everything, way too much to comment on in depth even for me, but I'll tackle a couple things:

• The Twins signed Phil Hughes, Ricky Nolasco, and Mike Pelfrey and are still chasing Bronson Arroyo.  I read one comment along the lines of, "I've never seen a team retool by chasing so much mediocrity" and that may be true, but mediocrity is a huge upgrade for this team.  Twins' starters had an ERA of 5.26 last season, worst in the majors by nearly half a run (0.45 to be precise).  They were the second worst in 2012 with an ERA of 5.40, better than only the Rockies.  2011?  Fifth worst at 4.64.  From 2011-2013 Twins' starters' ERA was 5.08, worst in the majors.  So yeah, Hughes, Nolasco, Pelfrey, and Arroyo might be mediocre, but they almost can't be worse than what they've been trotting out there.  Right?  RIGHT?
• Jason Kubel is back with the Twins, and that's cool because he was always one of my favorites and I even had a Kubel shirt which I have since gotten rid of (waa waa).   He signed a minor league contract with an invite to spring training, and it surprised me they got him so cheap.  Yes he was brutal last year, but in 2012 he hit 30 homers and OPS+ed 120.  He's become even more useless against lefties, but he should be a solid platoon player against right handed pitchers.  Considering Doumit hits lefties pretty well that could be a pretty good DH combo.  Of course there's no chance of that actually happening because Gardy.
• Speaking of the AL Central, I am really not liking what the White Sox are doing.  Everyone has ranked them for years as having the worst farm system, so the thought was they'd be terrible for like a decade and that made me smile because fuck the White Sox, right?  Well now all of a sudden they've acquired a young promising outfielder in Avisail Garica, a young promising outfielder in Adam Eaton, a young promising third baseman in Matt Davidson, and the latest big swinging Cuban in 1B/DH guy Jose Abreu.  The pitching is still a huge question mark behind Chris Sale, but I liked it better when Kenny Williams was burning the team down by trading away all youth and trying to fix problems by throwing money at them.  I can't remember this new guys name but he's been making a lot of mostly under the radar, smart moves and I don't like it one bit.  Now, with the two new guys, Alejandro de Aza is suddenly available, and this stupid guy will probably do something smart with him.  Sucks.
• By the way, Eaton is 5-8 and describes himself as "gritty dirt bag" kind of player.  So that should be a blast.  Hawk will probably have an orgasm on the air at some point.

-  Finally got all subscribed up with Netflix and we started watching Orange is the New Black.  Really good show.  In a world where I'm having more and more trouble finding new good shows and even some of my old favorites seem to be heading off the rails, it was refreshing to find a show that is both well made and entertaining since there are like 3 of those left.  Check it out.  It's not Breaking Bad, but what is?  Nothing.  Nothing is.  God such a good show I miss it so much.  Magnets, bitch!

-  Plus, it brings Amazonian hot Laura Prepon back in my life, which is a solid plus.

-   Semi-Gopher related, but it seems Syracuse fans have little to no interest in traveling to Houston for the Texas Bowl against the Gophers.  Instead, the fantastic Syracuse blog Troy Nunes is an Absolute Magician is organizing a donation drive among readers/fans to send under privileged Houston area kids to the game for free, with a goal of getting tickets for 200 kids (plus a hotdog, soda, and a freaking Cuse shirt).  I don't know if it's the Christmas season or getting older or having my own kids or what, but I thought this was really, really cool.  Or maybe it's just the Gopher connection.  Let's go with that.

-  I love Jay Cutler.

-  If you don't know the story behind this, it's here.

-  I know the last thing anybody really wants to hear about is someone else's fantasy woes (Jay Cutler would weight in on this one) but indulge me for a moment.  Due to Andrew Luck falling off a cliff post Reggie Wayne injury and Alex Smith suddenly lighting the world on fire I benched Luck for Smith two weekends ago in our quarterfinal.  Ended up losing by 2 points on Brandon Marshall's last catch Monday night, and would have won easily if I had kept Luck in there.  Then I would have won easily this week, so I should be in the championship, but I'm not instead at sitting around like a loser.  Fantasy football is really stupid.  And so are you.

-  I took this quiz and got 198/200 (missed Tony Allen and Brian Scalabrine).  I feel both proud and slightly embarrassed.

-  Good news for the Gophers, Florida State absolutely crushed Charlotte tonight.  The same Charlotte squad who beat Michigan earlier this year, and, with a certainly possible good year in a weak Conference USA, could end up a top 100 RPI team.  Thus, since Florida State beats them and the Gophers beat Florida State through osmosis that helps the Gophers' RPI.  Or something.  I don't know.  I'm not that bright.

-  I was gonna right more but first I got distracted by Orange is the New Black and then I realized I really hate you.

Fare thee well, Francisco Liriano

Everybody knew Francisco Liriano was going to be traded, it was just a matter of where to and for what.  With the starting pitching market drying up after Cole Hamels resigned with the Phillies, Matt Garza got hurt, Ryan Dempster basically saying he'd only waive his no trade rights to go to the Dodgers to play with his BFF Ted Lilly, and Zack Greinke (Angels), Anibal Sanchez (Tigers), and Wandy Rodriguez (Pirates) already have been moved, the Twins looked to have some leverage to maximize their return.  The best pitchers still thought to be available were Josh Johnson, James Shields, and Liriano, but with the Marlins reportedly asking for the world for Johnson and the Rays on the fence about whether to move Shields, Liriano may have been the most attractive option for teams looking for pitching help - and plenty still were.  Texas, the Dodgers, Atlanta, and St. Louis were all rumored to have interest in him, so the hope was the Twins could play them off each other to get at least one good prospect in return.

Instead, they traded him to the White Sox for a couple middling prospects in IF Eduardo Escobar and SP Pedro Hernandez.

Escobar ranks right around the 10th best prospect in the Sox system (but keep in mind the White Sox have the worst system in the majors according to almost everyone) and a plus fielder at three positions, and in fact was ranked as the top fielder in Chicago's system for four consecutive years by Baseball America.  That's good.  What's not so good is his bat.  He's hit at a sub-Puntoian level in his 97 at-bats this year, putting up a slash line of .207/.281/.276, which is a stellar combination of not getting on base and having zero power.  And it isn't exactly like he's just struggling to adjust to major league pitching, because his career line in the minors is .266/.303/.354, an OPS on par with Drew Butera's major league numbers this year.  He did sign when he was 17 and is still just 23 so there's time to develop something, but it's likely not going to be power.   The Twins are starting him at Rochester which is a good move so he can work on his hitting, which is good because as it stands right now his upside is probably as a utility backup infielder.  If he can figure out a way to hit .280 or so with at least a little gap power, combined with his fielding, he could be a starter for the Twins along the lines of Alcides Escobar, but that's probably his absolute ceiling with a floor of Denny Hocking.

Hernandez, the pitcher the Twins got in the deal, generally ranks around 20th in the White Sox system, depending on what you read (and remember, again, the Sox have the worst system in baseball).  He was acquired by Chicago in the Carlos Quentin trade, and you know it's always a good sign when two different organizations are willing to trade a prospect.  He is a lefty, which is good, and his career minor league numbers are decent, which is also good.  He's spent time as both a starter and reliever in the minors, and has a career ERA of 3.42 and WHIP of 1.24 in six minor league seasons.  He had a shot at the Sox rotation back on July 18th, making his first career start against Boston, but gave up 12 hits and 8 runs in just four innings and was sent back to AAA.  He was striking out batters at a pretty respectable rate up until he hit AAA, but this year, after being re-promoted to AAA, registered 17 Ks in 17 innings.  It's pretty obvious why the Twins' were interested -  his fastball sits at 89 mph and he doesn't walk anybody, the Twins' wet dream.

With Liriano hitting free agency after this season, as well as his erratic pitching since his surgery, nobody was going to pay a monster bonanza to get him but he flashed enough success that several teams were at least interested, and the best Terry Ryan could do was two 23-year old barely prospects from the team with the worst farm system in the league?  Still, there are a couple of positives:


1.  Although their upside isn't all that high, both Hernandez and Escobar are 23 and in AAA, and as such both will likely hit the majors with the Twins this year so we'll see what the Twins have quickly.  Both are likely to contribute at the big league level in some capacity, with Hernandez downside a bullpen arm/spot starter and Escobar a utility man, with Escobar having a chance to slot in to 2b (assuming Plouffe/Dozier are the left side of the infield for a few years at least) and Hernandez could end up in the rotation.  If Ryan couldn't get high upside guys, he at least was able to get players that will at least do something at the MLB level, and I guess that's a good second option.


2.  It was time for Liriano to go.  I heard a couple idiot callers on the radio complaining about the Twins' giving up on him and seriously dudes, he sucks.  How many years can you get sucked in by his potential?  This is the guy who has lost his spot in the rotation multiple times and has had an ERA over 5.00 in three of the last four years, including this season.  Suddenly you think he's put it all together because he struck out 15 batters one game?  He has a few starts like that every season, and every season it's the same story as he bombs out his next start.  Trust me, he hasn't suddenly figured it out.  You know who else once struck out 15 guys in one game?  Ron Villone.  Yeah, exactly.  And the no-hitter?  According to game score Liriano's was the worst no-hitter in history.  I'm not impressed by a no-hitter for the sake of a no-hitter either, because Phil Humber has one too.  It was time to move on.  You can only get fooled by potential for so long before you're no longer and optimist, you're an idiot.

American League Central Preview

Another NCAA Tournament is almost over with my bracket in shreds, so just as naturally as girls starting to wear tank tops and short shorts my thoughts turn to baseball and those beloved sucks the Twins.  After last year's nightmare, can they compete this year in the Central?  The best way to know is to know your opponents, so here's what each of the AL Central squads did this offseason to change things up.


CHICAGO WHITE SOX
Adds:  OF Kosuke Fukudome, 1b Dan Johnson, RP Eric Stults
Deletes:  SP Mark Buehrle, RP Jason Frasor, OF Juan Pierre, OF Carlos Quentin, IF Omar Vizquel, RP Sergio Santos

The most confusing team in the division and, barring significant injuries to the others, probably the worst, the White Sox are pretty clearly in rebuilding mode this year.  Except when they aren't, like when they traded Santos, a young (28), near dominant closer (1.11 WHIP, 13 K/9ip, 30 saves), coming off a career year who is signed to a reasonable contract with club options through 2017.  They did get a decent prospect in return but there's no guarantee he ends up even close to what Santos already gives you.  A puzzling move, but a clear sign that the Sox are full on rebuilding.  At some point this season the fire sale will likely begin with Paul Konerko, Gavin Floyd, and Jesse Crain all likely to go.  They'd love to jettison Adam Dunn, Alex Rios, and Jake Peavy as well, but it's going to be a bitch trying to find somebody to take any of those contracts.

There are some good pieces to build upon here with 3b Brett Morel poised for a possible breakout season along with converted reliever Chris Sale who has absolutely filthy stuff and will try his hand in the rotation this year.  There are also a couple youngsters who will get first crack at starting in the outfield in Dayan Viciedo and Alejandro de Aza, but they better hope they're able to get a nice haul when they start trading players off because their farm system is in a complete shambles and they've got way too much money committed to way too many shitty players.  This could be the first in a long losing streak for the Sox, and I hope so because these assholes deserve it.

CLEVELAND INDIANSAdds:  RP Jeremy Accardo, 1b Casey Kotchman, 3b Andy LaRoche, OF Fred Lewis, SP Derek Lowe, RP Chris Ray, OF Felix Pie, OF Ryan Spillborghs, RP Dan Wheeler, RP Robinson Tejeda, SP Kevin Slowey
Deletes:  OF Travis Buck, OF Kosuke Fukudome, RP Chad Durbin, IF Adam Everett, RP Justin Germano, OF Austin Kearns, DH Jim Thome

I'm a big fan of what the Indians have done this year - of course I'd be an even bigger fan if Fausto Carmona wasn't in legal trouble and Grady Sizemore wasn't hurt for the 19th year in a row - but they've done some really nice things.  You'll notice they lost a lot of players from last year's roster, but you'll also notice they all suck outside of Thome, and if you take a look at what they're bringing in that's a really interesting group with a lot of upside.  Accardo, Ray, and Wheeler were all elite relievers at one point, and Spillborghs and Pie can help fill in for Sizemore, but the biggest prizes were Kotchman (who will start immediately) and Lowe (who becomes their #3 starter).

The most exciting part about the Indians is they have a chance to have the best young infield in all of baseball.  SS Asdrubel Cabrera is already elite and 2b Jason Kipnis and 3b Lonnie Chisenhall both sound like wieners but both have a chance to reach that tier as well, and C Carlos Santana is already one of the best baseball hitters in the game.  The guy really mucking things up is Matt LaPorta, who was the centerpiece of the package the Indians got from Milwaukee when they traded C.C. Sabathia, but instead of being a stud he's been a big time dud, failing to hit over .255 in any season with very little power.  Basically he's Joe Mauer without the batting average.  Or Nick Punto without the speed or fielding.  Real valuable player, is what I'm trying to say.

DETROIT TIGERS
Adds:  1b Prince Fielder, RP Octavio Dotel, C Gerald Laird
Deletes:  3b Wilson Betemit, 2b Carlos Guillen, OF Magglio Ordonez, SP Brad Penny, RP Ryan Perry, 2b Will Rhymes, RP Joel Zumaya

They didn't add much, but they added a ton at the same time.  You know about Fielder, and say what you want about the defense taking a hit with Miguel Cabrera back at the hot corner, but that is one hell of a 1-2 punch in the lineup.  That signing will get most of the press, but don't forget about Dotel.  He's been an elite level set-up guy for nearly a decade now and last season might have been his career best.  He's going to be the 7th inning guy next year, which means at the end of games (at least ones Verlander doesn't pitch) you'll be looking at Dotel (0.98 WHIP), Joaquin Benoit (1.05), and Jose Valverde (49-49 saves last year).  Shortened game indeed.

If you're looking for negatives, go ahead and latch on to the fact that one popular theory is that pitching and defense win championships, and that's where the Tigers have big questions.  Behind Verlander the rotation is a bunch of question marks (and there's no way Fister is that good again) and as long as Jacob Turner doesn't become a stud (and he might) there will be questions all season.  Plus of the 9 projected starters (assuming Fielder, Cabrera, and Delmoney all share time at DH) only Austin Jackson would be considered anything other than a terrible fielder (although Ryan Raburn is a good outfielder, he's slated to play 2b this year lololol).  So go ahead and latch on to that hope.  Although you're only kidding yourself because the Tigers will probably have this wrapped up by September 1.

KANSAS CITY ROYALS
Adds:  SS Yuniesky Betancourt, RP Jonathan Broxton, 3b Kevin Kouzmanoff, RP Jose Mijares, SP Jonathan Sanchez
Deletes:  OF Melky Cabrera, SP Jeff Francis, C Jason Kendall, RP Robinson Tejada

Well here we go.  This is where the Royals start to make their move.  All of the talk about their incredible minor league system and all the young talent they have starts to prove itself this year.  They've transferred most of it to the majors, and Billy Butler, Alex Gordon (finally), Alcides Escobar, and Eric Hosmer have proven themselves ready to go, while Mike Moustakas, Lorenzo Cain, Johnny Giavotella, and Salvador Perez are now in the majors and will get their shot to stick.  To compliment them KC is making the right moves, trading expendable parts (Melky Cabrera) to upgrade the starting pitching (Sanchez) and signing smart veterans to back-up the youngsters and add depth (Betancourt, Kouzmanoff) and upgrade an already promising bullpen (Mijares, Broxton).

That being said, they still aren't there yet but that's ok.  The starting pitching is still pretty poor at this point but help is still on the way (two top 5 prospects in the system could hit the bigs this year), and there are still a few more position players who aren't there yet but should be soon.  So although the Royals won't contend for the AL Central crown this year, they should take a nice step forward and be right around .500 if everything is going according to plan.  If not, all the idiots like Snacks can go ahead and put a notch in their belt, because the whole "it's still the Royals" and "potential doesn't win games" and "we've been hearing about the Royals' talent for years" arguments are actually valid.  And I'd really hate for this to be true because I loathe stupidity.

 MINNESOTA TWINS
Adds:  RP Jason Bulger, 3b Sean Burroughs, RP Jared Burton, IF Jayme Carroll, C Ryan Doumit, SP Jason Marquis, C J.R. Towles, OF Josh Willingham
Deletes:  OF Michael Cuddyer, OF Jason Kubel, RP Jose Mijares, RP Joe Nathan, OF Jason Repko, IF Matt Tolbert

The Twins lose more than anybody else in the division off last year's team with several main contributors from the good teams of the last few years taking off (including my favorite player ever Jason Kubel and my fake favorite player ever in Jason Repko) and that clearly shows they've recognized a need to rebuild and start over after last year's 99 loss debacle.  Problem.  You can't rebuild when you owe eleventy billion dollars to two guys who hardly ever play.

Really, we can analyze the signings to death, but everything is dependent on the health of Mauer and Morneau.  I mean, I like the Willingham signing, love the Doumit signing, and hate both the Capps and Marquis deals, but even if those all end up being home runs the team's going nowhere without Morneau and Mauer.  Say what you want about Parmelee (and I liked what I saw) in order to contend for the division they need Morneau.  Although even that might not even matter when you can't upgrade a pretty horrendous group of starting pitchers.  Marquis and Blackburn are going to get whacked around all year, Baker can't stay healthy, and I'm starting to think it's a bit of a fool's errand waiting for Liriano to put it all together - again.  Pavano is the only worthwhile one.  What the Twins need more than anything is to blow it up and start over, but they've hamstrung themselves and are now stuck in limbo.  Hurry, Miguel Sano.  Hurry.

Monday Musings (Trade deadline talk, Royals, Seahawks, AL ROY, Sharks)

I guess the good news is the Twins didn't do anything stupid at the trade deadline.  Then again, their inability to realize they should have been sellers, not buyers and not do-nothingers, probably cost them a little bit in the prospect department as there were reports that teams were sniffing around Kubel, Cuddyer, Thome, and Slowey, all of whom could fetch value and should have been traded along with Pavano, Capps, and Nathan if possible.  Of course, the two moves the Twins came closest to making were Span to the Nationals for a couple relievers and Slowey to the Rockies for either a  mediocre and old reliever or a mediocre and old infielder, both of which would have been disasters, so maybe not doing anything is like winning due to apathy.  Or something.  Anyway, here are your trades that mattered in the AL Central, for your reference:

• WHITE SOX:  Acquired RP Jason Frasor and SP Zach Stewart from the Jays for SP Edwin Jackson and IF Mark Teahen.  Do you find it a bit curious the Sox would trade Edwin Jackson, especially since he's having a pretty good year this year and gives them five capable starting pitchers, when they are 3 games out of first in a crappy division?  Well it wasn't to get Frasor, who is a top notch reliever but they already have a good bullpen.  The real center piece for them is Stewart, who was one of the top 5 prospects in the Jays system.  He didn't fare too well in his three big league starts this year, but he was making the jump from double-A.  He's a flamethrower who has struck out more than a batter an inning in the minors, and if he can cut down on the hits allowed he could be a potential top of the rotation starter.  Even if he can't hack that with his stuff he could be a very good bullpen arm.  As a fan of an AL Central team I dislike this trade immensely.

• INDIANS:  Acquired OF Kosuke Fukudome from the Cubs for P Carlton Smith and OF Abner Abreu; Acquired P Ubaldo Jimenez for P Drew Pomeranz, C/OF/1b Matt McBride, P Alex White, P Joseph Gardner; traded IF Orlando Cabrera to the Giants for OF Thomas Neal.  The Cabrera trade was a no-brainer since they've basically committed to Jason Kipnis at second these days and they got a pretty good prospect back in Neal, but that's about the only good move they made.  The Fukudome trade makes no sense because he's not really any better than what they already have in the outfield and is a mediocre hitter with no power and a subpar outfielder, and Abner has a shot to be as starting outfielder someday (although Smith is probably a straight bust.)

          The Jimenez trade, however, reeks of going with your heart and not your head.  Think about it:  both the Red Sox and the Yankees back off and neither team is exactly known for NOT getting what they want.  Jimenez has been awful this year (4.46 ERA, 1.37 WHIP) but I'm guessing the Indians somehow just fixated on him as exactly what they needed to push them into the playoffs and were unable to pull out of a trade, effectively giving the Rockies the leverage they needed to ask for whatever they wanted - and they did.

           Pomeranz is probably the best arm in their system with a decent shot at becoming a legitimate ace, and if he's not the best arm in the system that honor probably goes to White, who profiles as a #4 type inning eater starter at worst.  The other pitcher they gave up, Joe Gardner, ranks as a top 10 prospect in their system on basically every list, and McBride has a pretty solid bat.  Basically the Rockies got an absolute haul for a pitcher who has been every bit as uneven this year as he was dominant last year.  In order to make this trade not a complete disaster for the Indians he'll need to regain his ace form and push them into the playoffs, but based on his subpar second half last year and this year, it's unlikely.  Great job, dummies. 

• TIGERS:  Acquired SP Doug Fister and RP David Pauley from the Mariners for 3b Francisco Martinez, P Charlie Furbush, OF Casper Wells, and a player to be named; acquired IF Wilson Betemit from the Royals for P Antonio Cruz and C Julio Rodriguez.  Detroit gave up a huge haul to acquire Fister (Fister?  I hardly know 'er!) who is a decent middle of the rotation pitcher but is certainly nothing special and not a difference maker.  Wells has already proven himself to be an adequate 3rd/4th outfielder type, Furbush will be a back of the rotation starter or decent middle reliever, and Martinez is a very toolsy type.  Basically they gave up three top-20 prospects for Fister and a non-descript middle reliver.  If that wasn't enough, however, it's believed that the player to be named is either 3b Nick Castellanos (#2 prospect in the system), SP Chance Ruffin (#7), or SP Drew Smyly (#9).  At least Cleveland gave up way too much to get a guy who has difference making potential.  Detroit gave up way too much to get Nick Blackburn with better stats due to playing in a pitcher's park.  And the Betemit trade is so meaningless I'm not even going to bother.

• ROYALS:  Acquired the two dudes above for Betemit; traded IF Mike Aviles to the Red Sox for IF/OF Yamaico Navarro and RP Kendall Volz.  I'm a little surprised they traded Aviles because I always figured he was in their future plans, but I suppose he's a decent middle infielder with a decent bat so he's pretty expendable, especially since they have Escobar basically entrenched at SS for the next a whole lot of years.  Giving him up to grab some upside in Navarro (#15 prospect in Boston's system) and an A-ball arm who strikes out more than a batter per inning is probably worth it.  The two guys the Tigers gave up to get Betemit are system filler, which is probably still too much to trade for Betemit. 

• TWINS:  Not a goddamn thing

So, whatever.  The Tigers and Indians went for it in a big way that could totally backfire, the White Sox stood mostly pat but built for the future, the Royals build a little more organizational depth but didn't make any big moves (like trading Soria, Cabrera, or Francoeur), and the Twins stuck their collective thumb up their collective ass and were too confused to do anything at all.


Other things going down:

-  Since we're talking about the Royals and I love them more than life itself have you guys noticed Billy Butler lately?  He's gotten hits in 13 of his last 14 games, which includes five home runs in the last week, bringing him up to 12 on the year.  Guy is just nails.  He's going to give you a .300/.360/.450 line every year with 15 homers and 40 doubles.  And in case you missed it (I did) the Royals signed him to an extension through 2014 (team option 2015) so it looks like he's the DH of the future, which also means that Kila Ka'aihue is pretty much shit out of luck since Hosmer has turned out to be the next George Brett is Brett played first or Hosmer played third.  If I'm the Twins, or several other teams, I'm looking to figure out a way to get Kila on my team.  Guy's basically an Adam Dunn clone but with a fancier name and the Royals don't seem to realize it.

-  If you will allow me one more indulgence of writing about someone I like who you probably don't care about, have you noticed what Desmond Jennings' of the Rays is doing since he was called up?  Before an 0-11 skid in his last three games he had multiple hits in 6 of 7 games and overall has put up a line of .333/.463/.576 with five steals, almost half of his hits for extra-bases, and nearly as many walks as strikeouts.  And that OPS of 1.039 would be behind only Jose Bautista in all the majors.  Why do I point all this out?  Mainly because I picked him as AL Rookie-of-the-Year.  His call up may have happened to late, but it kind of looks like I'm a genius.  Again.

-  NARD-DAWG!!

-  Looking at the NFL, can anybody inform to me what the hell the Seahwaks are doing?  I suppose this is one way to build your team, but to me it seems more in the David Kahn team building mode rather than the build a championship mode.  First you address your quarterback need by signing both Tavaris Jackson and Matt Leinart, which says "hey we don't really have a lot of money or a real plan, so we're going to grab a couple of bargain basement QBs with some upside and hope one of them works out."  Then they throw waaaay too much money at Sidney Rice in a move that says "we have way too much money so let's give it to an overrated receiver who had one good year because he had the perfect QB for his talents and was terrible with every other QB including the guy we just signed."  Finally they signed o-lineman Robert Gallery in a move that says "we know this is high risk high reward but we are just one piece away from being good" even though they're not.  So confusing, especially since Marshawn Lynch is still their only running back.  Needless to say, I took the under on their team total wins of . 
-  So Randy Moss retired, which I guess is a pretty big deal in the Football.  I'd call him the best receiver I've ever seen play.  Jerry Rice put up better stats and, unlike Brett Favre and Pete Rose, was far more than just a compiler and the second best receiver I ever saw, but Moss blows him away.  I have two very distinct memories of him that immediately spring to mind - the Monday night game against Green Bay and the Thanksgiving game against Dallas.

The Monday night game I remember because I was in college and we were watching the game with a Green Bay fan (Hi WSCT-QB) and I remember by the second quarter he basically decided he was done with the game and proceeded to pound beers at a 2-1 rate to the rest of us.  The Dallas game I remember because Moss was just ridiculous, including a touchdown where the safety had the angle on him to the sideline, he put one move on, and somehow raced down the sideline blowing right past the Dallas guy - it was just amazing and his third TD of the game.  I was at the future Mrs. W's parents place for the day and basically made a fool of myself in front of my girlfriend's family celebrating, especially because her family wasn't exactly into the sports.  But I could help it.  It was incredible.  He was amazing to watch and in a way he saved Viking football.  I'll always love him.  JUNGLE FEVER!

-  As a commenter pointed out in the comments, which is where a commenter would naturally be found, it's Shark Week and I'm pleased to say I believe they fixed it.  The last few years Shark Week has kind of pissed me off for two reasons:

1. Not enough shows.  Basically the shark stuff was on from 8-10 each night and replayed from 10-12, but that was the extent of shark week.  And then the weekend was just replays from the previous shows that week, so really you were only getting 10 hours of shark programming each shark week.
2. Forcing their other programming into Shark Week.  A big chunk of the "new programming" each year was becoming Discovery taking their existing shows (Mythbusters, Dirty Jobs, etc.) and shoehorning Shark themes into.  Gay.  Just show some sweet shark footage and get the hell out of the way.

So this year they're showing new shoes from 8-10 each night (replayed 10-12) all seven nights and filling in almost the entire week of programming, all 24 hours or 20 hours or whatever amount of time isn't filled in with infomercials for the food dehydrator or various Ronco products (SET IT AND FORGET IT!!) with older shark shows and the new stuff is the good kind of stuff - sweet shark footage without gimmicks and straight science learnin'.  And as an added bonus, you'll notice National Geographic is running there own parallel, if not official, shark week although most of their shit is from 2007 or earlier.  Still.  Sharks galore.

-  I sent this out via the Twitter as well, but check out this little article from The Onion on your precious Twins:  http://bit.ly/pOrsYu

-  Finally, Dustin Ackley is a complete pimp.  Also Angie Harmon is still pretty hot.  Is she still with that white cornerback guy?

 

What an incredible body.  He must work out.

Week in Review 04.11.2011

Do you want to know what's really, really awesome?  The burgers at The Blue Door Pub.  There's only seating for about 25 people in the entire place so even at 6pm on a Friday night when most of the going out public is in Minneapolis following the Twins' home opener the wait was still an hour to get a table for four, but it was totally worth it. 

We tried a variety of their burgers, from The Frenchy (stuffed with caramelized onions and swiss cheese and served with au jus) to the Cajun (stuffed with pepper jack and diced jalapenos) to the Luau (stuffed with mozzarella and Canadian Bacon and topped with grilled pineapple and a sweet chili lime sauce) and they were all awesome, as were the fish tacos, tator tots, and deep fried pickles.  Add in an awesome selection of beer on tap and it might be my favorite restaurant ever.  Of course, seeing as how long it takes to get seated I don't know if I'll be going very often but I really can't recommend it highly enough.  Go there.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  The Masters.  Now that, my friends, was a freaking awesome golf tournament.  Really it had everything you could want:  Tiger making a Sunday charge, the best of the young guns (McIlroy) and the most underrated (Day), vets who had won majors before (Ogilvy, Cabrera) and who were still looking for their first (Choi), two guys trying to drop out of contention for the best player never to win a major (Donald, Scott), and and the next in the line of South African studs (Schwartzel).  Most importantly, outside of McIlroy's implosion, which happened early enough to not affect the enjoyment of the back 9, and fades from Bo Van Pelt and Choi on the back, everybody brought their A-game down the stretch.  Donald's chip, Day's putts at 17 and 18, Scott's tee shot at 16, or any of Schwartzel's birdies from 15-18 could have been a signature moment, but this year's year's tournament was just stuffed with 'em, and was so competitive 8 different players had at least a share of the lead on the back nine on Sunday.  Just insane.  Such an awesome tournament, I can only hope the other three majors come close.

2.  Edwin Jackson.  Well shit.  When the Sox were trying to maneuver to acquire Adam Dunn last year, the thought was they got Jackson from Arizona simply because they knew the Nationals were sweet on him and they would use him to try to facilitate a trade for Dunn.  When the trade never materialized, it was awesome because it looked like they screwed themselves.  Unfortunately for all those who hate the White Sox (which is everyone in the world outside Chicago and prisons) it looks like Jackson may be a keeper all by himself.  His 8 inning, 4 hit, 1 walk, 13 strikeout performance against Tampa puts him at 2-0 for the year with a 1.93 ERA, 1.00 WHIP, and 20-5 Ks to BBs.  He looks like he might actually be good and that's unfortunate because the team of evil deserves to have nothing good happen to them, ever.

3.  Alex Gordon.  It's taken forever, a bunch of false starts, a few really poor seasons, and a position change, but maybe, just maybe, Alex Gordon - former #2 overall pick in 2005 - has arrived.  He's been in the majors since 2007 (with a few trips to AAA sprinkled in) and managed just a .244/.328/.405 over that time with about 1 HR ever 40 at-bats and twice as many strikeouts as walks, and he threw in shitty defense to round it out.  Basically the kid was looking like a monster bust.  This year, however, things may be looking up.  He's currently hitting at a .357/.400/.548 while leading the league in hit and playing a passable left field.  He's also showing some power, at least compared to his previous years, and has cut down a bit on the strikeouts.  I'm not saying he's arrived, but he's finally looking like a competent player.  Which brings the Royals total to 3.

4.  Ty Lawson.  It's not often I write about the NBA in the regular season.  I pay attention in the playoffs, of course, because playoff NBA basketball is one of the most entertaining and skillful displays in any sport at any time, but the regular season is nearly as boring as the WNBA or your average Gopher men's home game.  That being said, occasionally something happens that is so inexplicable and/or bizarre that I need to mention it, and that's why this part here with Ty Lawson is here.  Lawson is a great penetrator and distributor and is fast as hell but going back to his days at North Carolina it's always been known as a terrible shooter.  But naturally everything changes and gets flipped on its head when the Wolves are involved, and Lawson hit 10 of 11 three-pointers.  That's 10 of 11 threes, including his first 10 (an NBA record) on his way to 37 points (a career high).  Lawson's previous career high for three pointers hit in a game was three.  THREE!  God the basketball in this town sucks. 

5.  Trevor Plouffe.  I don't know if he's the middle infield answer (more on Casilla later), but he's certainly showing he might be ready by destroying AAA pitching thus far this season.  Rochester kicked off their year on Thursday and Plouffe started slowly going 0-4, but he's followed that up by going 3-5 with a double and a homer, 3-5 with a walk, a double and two homers, and 2-4 with a walk, bringing his early season line to .444/.500/1.056.  Simply put, so far he's been completely on fire.  Some may say it's early still and the Twins should wait and not bring him up yet, but those people are the same idiots who stare at a fire in the corner and wait until the entire house is ablaze before reacting.  Come on Bill Smith, don't let the house burn down.  We need some Plouffe.


WHO SUCKED


1.  Alexi Casilla.  I'm sorry, but this guy is not a shortstop and not a starting caliber bat at any position, possibly including National League pitcher.  I'm not even sure he can throw the ball from the hole all the way to first, and just how many times this year are we going to see him dive to stop a ball, get up, and not get the guy or not even bother throwing the ball?  Just don't even bother stopping the ball if you can't throw anybody out.  And don't even get me started with the bat - he's just terrible.  The worst part is that he's actually the best option right now, because the only other player who can play short on the major league roster is Matt Tolbert and we all know what a giant piece of crap he is.  Honest to god, can we get Plouffe up here please?  Maybe he's the answer and maybe he isn't, but at least he's got potential and brings hope to the position.  Every time they read off the Twins lineup and say Casilla's or Tolbert's name a little piece of me dies inside.

2.  Matt Thornton.  I don't know why you'd bother giving the closer to anyone else when you have the nastiness that is Chris Sale - who might have the best stuff of any pitcher in the league - but for some reason the White Sox decided to roll with Thornton.  He repaid that trust by going 0-2 in save opportunities this week, blowing the first against Kansas City (after they scored 3 runs on Joakim Soria to almost steal the game) and then followed that up by getting absolutely bombed for four hits and five runs against Tampa.  The good news for the Sox, and bad news for all White Sox haters which I assume is everyone, is that they look like they may have moved the closer duties over to the unhittable Chris Sale, who picked up the save on Saturday (although he did give up a run).  Hopefully, for the children and America, they stick with Thornton.

3.  Tampa Rays.  I know Evan Longoria is important - not just to the Rays but to all of Major League Baseball, the world, the safety of our nation, and the love in my heart - but it's pretty sad how Tampa has basically just given up after his injury.  A pathetic 1-8 start to the year, and it's been even uglier than that.  They currently rank dead last in the majors in runs scored, batting average, on-base percentage, and slugging percentage and in the bottom six in ERA, quality starts, and batting average against.  Only B.J. Upton is hitting the ball remotely well and he leads the team in basically every batting stat, while the starting pitching has been atrocious and is backed up by a pretty poorly performing bullpen.  This is really, really ugly.  Who knew Longoria had this kind of effect on the entire team?  Pretty clear he's the AL MVP at this point.  

4.  Austin Jackson.  I like Austin Jackson.  He's fast, a good fielder, and he can hit the ball with power and average - at least in theory - but he's been brutal this year.  He's hitting just .184 this year (with an OBP of .244 and SLG of .289), but that's not even the most troubling part.  That would be his impressive 14 strikeouts in just 38 at-bats, a pace that would leave him at 228 Ks for the year if he reaches the 618 at-bats he had last year - a new single-season record.  Although I feel pretty safe saying that if he doesn't start getting some hits he'll be logging some of those ABs down on the farm.  He's a free swinger and is always going to strike out a lot (and never really bothers to walk), but he needs to produce when he does put the ball in play, as he did last year.  The weird thing is that his contact rate isn't even that bad at 76.5% (Carlos Pena is at 58.5% - worst in the majors) and you can have plenty of success even if you swing and miss frequently (Nelson Cruz is at 64.2%), but when he does hit the ball he's making terrible contact (4.3% line drives vs. 52.2% fly balls).  Things are not lining up well for Mr. Jackson to turn it around.  And yes, he's on our fantasy team.  Joy.  

5.  UND Fighting Sue.  I don't know anything about hockey and to be honest don't even completely understand most of their crazy rules, but I know gambling and I know the Sue were a huge favorite at -220 (meaning you'd have to bet $220 to win $100 - that's a huge favorite) so I know that them losing to Michigan was a pretty epic chocke job.  I'll let Snake elaborate further:

"I would like to take this first sentence to thank the Michigan Wolverines for doing gods work and beating the prairie scrubs from the University of North Dakota.    

Certain things can be expected every spring in the midwest.  Robins return, the snow melts, flowers bloom and coach Hakstol and the University of North Dakota lose in fantastic fashion in the NCAA tournament.  Of course nothing changed this year.  Coach Hak brought the best team in the country into a frozen four field filled with mediocre teams.  Instead of walking through the field they got shutout 2-0 by a Michigan team who played a walk-on goalie and lost to the gophers 3-1 this year.  This was a choke job of epic proportions.  Vegas had the Sioux at -250 to win it all while Michigan was +175, UMD was +450 (which bogart cashed) and Notre Dame was +500.  

So basically UND losing on Thursday was a bigger upset than Russia losing to the USA in 1980 olympics.  Only this was better because the majority of TRUE americans hate North Dakota more than those Red bastards from the USSR.  As usual, UND fans took the loss with class and dignity!"

MLB Preview: American League

After I won multiple awards for my NL preview yesterday, I couldn't very well ignore the American League, especially since that's all anybody around here cares about.  So that's what we got goin' down here tonight, a little American League chatter.  


Also I want to mention as a public service announcement that although the 5-8 Club is famous for their Juicy Lucys you shouldn't ignore the broasted chicken.  It's not quite as good as any random place at least 1 hour north of the cities (and the more norther the better), but for a city joint it's very good.  


Anyway, here you go.

 
AL EAST

1.  Boston Red Stockings.  There's a reason all thdork Red Sox fans are so excited for their team - they're going to be really god damn good.  They signed the top 2 free agent position players available who filled holes for them in Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford, have an excellent rotation 1-5, a bullpen good enough that they can ship Hideki Okajima to triple-A, and, lest you think their 3rd place finish last year means they're overrated, they still won 89 games and several key players (Pedroia, Ellsbury, Youkilis) missed substantial time last season. In short, no matter how much you hate them and their fans (and I do with one exception) this team is going to be a monster.  The shark move here would be to make sure and get Papelboner as your fantasy closer, since he's going to get a ridonkulous amount of save opps.

2.  New York Yankees.  They're lucky that the offense is loaded up because that rotation is brutal.  Sabathia is good, I guess, but AJ Burnett is terrible, Phil Hughes is a dandy, Freddy Garcia is dead, and Ivan Nova will be in AAA ball by June.  That said, they're going to be tough to beat and should win a lot of 8-6 ball games, plus with Soriano setting up for Rivera they essentially just have to outscore you through 7 innings.  Side note: if you look at the lineup there's absolutely no reason Derek Jeter should be hitting anything other than 8th or 9th.  Other than the intangibles of course.  And those piercing blue eyes.

3.  Tampa Bay Rays.  Whoever stocked up the Rays farm system did one hell of a job, because it seems no matter who leaves there is always a hot young prospect ready to step in, and that especially includes the pitching staff.  This year those guys will have to be dead on, because behind provens David Price and James Shields are a bunch of youngins - talented youngins in Wade Davis, Jeff Niemann, and Jeremy Hellickson - but young just the same.  Two other things:  1.  FREE DESMOND JENNINGS!  and 2.  Kyle Farnsworth as your closer?  Seriously?  I dropped them from #2 to #4 for that reason alone.  Then bumped them back to #3 because Evan Longoria is both awesome and sexy.

4.  Baltimore Orioles.  I feel bad for these guys, I really do.  After years of throwing good money after bad, making poor decisions, and decimating the farm system they're finally starting to do things right.  They got a solid manager (Buck Showalter), good young talent (Adam Jones, Nick Markakis, Brian Matusz, Jake Arrieta), with more on the way (Zach Britton, Manny Machado, Chris Tillman), and are signing reasonable free agents who make sense and fit with the roster (Derrek Lee, Mark Reynolds, Kevin Gregg, and trading for JJ Hardy).  Really they're doing a lot right and in any other division they'd be a sleeper to win it.  Here, however, fourth place is their absolute upside.

5.  Toronto Blue Jays.  This is definitely a fun team if you like a youth movement - the oldest pitcher in the rotation is 26.  They also have fun prospects like LF Travis Snider and C JP Arencibia who are going to be handed starting jobs and told to run with them.  If the youth is good and crap factories Adam Lind and Aaron Hill - two of the biggest disappointments in all of baseball last year - can bounce back this team might be able to threaten for fourth place.  That being said, this team would be a contender in the AL Central.  Thank god the Twins are in such a shitty division.


AL CENTRAL

1.  Minnesota Twins.  Hey, speaking of the Twins being in a shitty division, here I am picking them to win again even though I'm not remotely impressed with this team.  If you're reading this you probably know everything you need to about the Twins so all I'm going to say is I hate hate hate hate hate the middle infield and I still don't understand the Hardy trade, but my biggest question is how they handled the whole Scott Diamond thing.  Trading Billy Bullock, he of the 150 strikeouts in 108 innings in two years at age 22 and the Twins second-round pick just TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO means that Diamond better be the best god damn reliever in history.   AGAGDASHKJ the season hasn't even started yet and I'm already mad.  Let's just move on.

2.  Detroit Tigers.  You know who I love this year?  Justin motherfuckin' Verlander.  He's been awesome the last several years, no doubt, but I think this is the year he goes from awesome to AWESOME.   I also love Austin Jackson, and I think if he can just have half of Delmon Young's plate discipline he's got super star written all over him, and the youngster SP duo of Scherzer and Porcello has got potential.  That's it that I like on that team because I hate everybody else including fat alcoholic and girl hair McGee.  I guess I don't hate Will Rhymes, but that's not because of his play (Punto-esque) but because of his sweet name.  If Snow had just called himself Will Rhymes Informer would have hit #1 on the charts.


3.  Chicago Gay Sox.  Ever have a player you love (Adam Dunn) who goes to a team you hate with every fiber of your being?  I always loved Mike Mussina and it broke my heart when he signed with the Yankees, but I never really really cared because it was AL East crap.  This time it's really going to test me.  I harbor no ill will towards Dunnsy right now, but I'm pretty sure the first time he takes a Nick Blackburn 88 mph heater 500 feet the other way (and you know it's coming) I'm pretty sure the hatred will rise up quickly.  Looking forward to the Twins facing Jesse Crain though, pretty sure we have some guys who will return that 500 foot favor.  Of course I'm assuming/hoping they got old Crain, not fancy new Crain from the second half of last season.  Because that guy was good.  Ah god dammit.  This is going to be so frustrating.

4.  Kansas City Royals.  Holy shit you guys are these last two teams brutal.  Honestly these might be the two worst teams in the entire league.  I'm going to throw the Royals in the lead because I like that fat doubles machine and $nake has a shirt of the Mexecutioner.  There's your upside, plus that Hawai'ian dude who's slugging like 3 in spring training.  The future is supposedly very bright here, which is good because the present is full of Jason Kendall and Bruce Chen.  No shit.  The Chenner.  Want to know how fucked up the Royals' are?  ESPN lists Melky Cabrera as their starting CF and starting RF, and that seems like it might be accurate.

5.  Cleveland Indians.  Carlos Santana is going to be awesome.  That's the entire list of positives I can come up with unless you believe in Justin Masterson (kind of sort of) or think Matt LaPorta might still be good (no chance).  Since I got nothin' else to say, here's a picture of a naked Grady Sizemore:

You know you love it.


AL WEST

1.  Oakland Athletics.  Ok fine, I'm buying in.  If San Francisco can win an entire World Series on the strength of their pitching staff, why can't Oakland win a crappy AL West on the strength of theirs?  Trevor Cahill and Brett Anderson are studs in the making, Gio Gonzalez is nasty, and Dallas Braden has the soft-tossing lefty thing down pat.  Add in bullpen additions in Brian Fuentes and Grant Balfour and I really like the pitching they've got here.  The offense was downright dreadful last year, and although the pick-ups of David DeJesus, Josh Willingham, and Godzilla will help it still isn't going to be pretty.  This is going to be another team that's going to have to win those 3-2 ball games quite a bit if they're going to contend.

2.  Texas Rangers.  These guys are the opposite of Oakland with their potent lineup that gets more potenter with Adrian Beltre at the hot corner, but with Cliff Lee gone the entire rotation is rather underwhelming, especially if you're like me and think they all suck outside of C.J. Wilson.  With such a shaky staff I don't understand why they're so strident in keeping Neftali Feliz as their closer.  Yes he was good last year, but he's easily the most talented pitcher on the team and came up through the minors as a starter, and since that's where they could maximize his value I'm baffled at the choice to keep him closing games.  Good for the rest of the AL, I suppose.

3.  Los Angeles Angels.  Just a massive pile of meh, which seems odd because these guys were perennial contenders not that long ago, but I guess missing out on Carl Crawford and having a back-up plan of standing around doing nothing will generally drag you down a smidge.  Jered Weaver and Dan Haren are a great 1-2 punch, especially since it turns out Weaver is actually good which shocked the hell out of me, but after that everybody is boring unless you think 1B Mark Trumbo can win rookie of the year.  I don't, because I have never heard of him.  When the left-side of the diamond is made up of Maicier Izturis, Erick Aybar, and Alex Rios you know damn well you aren't competing for anything, and don't forget their still trying to force Fernando Rodney to be a closer so they'll lose their share of close games as well.

4.  Seattle Mariners.  I picked these guys as my sleeper team last year.  Turns out I'm an idiot.  Good news though, they've taken major steps to turn this thing around by acquiring Jack Cust, Gabe Gross, Adam Kennedy, Miguel Olivo, and Brendan Ryan.  Jesus Christ guys, you only won 61 games last year and THIS is how you address your issues?  How can you be this shitty and only have three young, high upside guys in the entire system (Justin Smoak, Dustin Ackley, Michael Pineda)?  At least the Pirates and Royals look like they have a plan, and don't forget they had Cliff Lee!  What did they get for him, Smoak and a bag of balls?  This is terrible.  I can't wait until Felix forces his way out, maybe the Twins can get him for Cuddyer and Dusty Hughes.


POSTSEASON AND AWARDS:

NL MVP:  Troy Tulowitzki (alternate:  Buster Posey)
AL MVP:  Adrian Gonzalez (Evan Longoria)
NL Cy Young:  Clay Kershaw (Roy Halladay)
AL Cy Young:  Justin Verlander (Jon Lester)
NL Rookie: Domonic Brown (Freddie Freeman)
AL Rookie:  JP Arencibia (Desmond Jennings)
NL Division Winners:  Phillies, Reds, Giants
NL Wild Card:  Brewers
AL Division Winners:  Red Sox, Twins, A's
AL Wild Card:  Yankees
World Series:  Reds over Red Sox

Weekend Review - 9.20.2010

 Well, the Gophers lost to USC, which I don't think surprised anyone, but they didn't embarrass themselves, which did surprise some - myself included.  So how do you categorize that loss?  I wouldn't say they sucked, because they didn't embarrass themselves, but is not embarrassing yourself considered a success these days?  If it is, that means my work day is successful 80% of the time, which I like, but I can't give a whole lot of credit to a team that is in a BCS conference for only losing by two touchdowns to the worst version of USC in years.  They played, and they didn't suck.  I guess, sadly, that really could be considered a success in Brewster's Gopher Nation.  Ouch. 

 WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Troy Tulowitzki.  I think we need a new word for this guy, because hot doesn't begin to do him justice.  Remember the other day when I mentioned how he had hit 11 home runs in his last 13 games?  And described that as jesus?  Well, since then he hit a home run on Friday and followed it up with 2 more on Saturday.  You know there's regular (and sugar free) Red Bull, but then they also have the little Red Bull shots that are more concentrated and give you a shorter, stronger burst of probably super healthy energy?  I feel like Tulowitzki must be on that version of HGH - not a whole season worth or anything, just enough to hit a ridiculous amount of home runs in a small period of time.*  Seriously dude, I am all-in for Rocktoberfest.  Assuming the make the playoffs, of course.  If not I never liked them anyway.

2.  Felix Hernandez.  King Felix added a little more fuel to the Cy Young fire, nearly pitching a no-hitter against Texas Friday before allowing a home run to Nelson Cruz in the 8th, ending up with just 8 strong innings and a rare win.  Rare enough that a bit of a nerd fight has broken out amongst the stat nerds and the old school traditionalists over who deserves to win the Cy Young award this year.  Here are the top 3 candidates:

• C.C. Sabathia:  20-6, 3.05 ERA, 1.18 WHIP, 183 Ks, 224 IPs
• David Price:  17-6, 2.79 ERA, 1.19 WHIP, 172 Ks, 194 IPs
• Felix:  12-11, 2.35 ERA, 1.07 WHIP, 222 Ks, 234 IPs

Clearly Felix is the best pitcher this season, and technically that's what the Cy Young Award is supposed to recognize, and that's what the seamheads are saying - give the award to the best pitcher.  However, he's only got 12 wins, and is barely over .500 for the year.  It's just not going to happen yet.  Last year was a move in the right direction and a big win for the nerds with Zack Greinke bringing home the hardware despite winning just 16 games, but there was no 20 game winner last year.  Sabathia has his twenty already, and like it or not, there's some magic in that number.  It's his to lose (he's -200 in Vegas, Felix isn't even on the board).

3.  Ryan Mallet.  I really like this kid.  Of course, that could be because I've only seen two of his game, one from last year when he won me two bets, the over on his completions and his yards, that I placed on a tip from a friend and then this week's game where he threw for 380 yards and 3 TDs, including the game winner (and Arkansas +3 bet winner) with fifteen seconds to go.  Plus, he just looks like a big-time QB back there.  A pure thrower with a good pocket presence and good fundamentals.  And he should, he's got the pedigree:  #2 QB and #4 overall player in his high school class by Rivals and Gatorade High School Player of the Year in Texas his senior year.  Texas!  You've seen Varsity Blues, you know what it's like down there.  He's like Lance Harbor, but without the knee injury.  He was smart to leave Michigan after Rodriguez signed on since he's no Major Harris, but he does remind me quite a little bit of Peyton Manning now that he's at Arkansas.  High praise?  Yes.  Kind of stupid to say since I've only seen two of his games?  Absolutely.  Is that going to stop me?  Hell no.

4.  Jahvid Best.  The Lions still suck, but at least they have another exciting young player to add to Calvin Johnson in Best.  After a huge day that saw him gain over 230 total yards and score 3 times he now has five TDs through two games to lead the NFL.  One of his TDs yesterday was a 75 yard screen pass, a play where he showecased the speed and vision that will make him a top back in the future, and also scored on a 2-yd run showing he has some power to his game as well.  The Lions now have the skill positions set, if they can just fix a terrible, terrible defense and shore up an awful, awful offensive line, and then find a second and third receiver, they'll be all set.

5.  Matt Schaub.  Remember how, not all that long ago, the Atlanta Falcons had this awesome back-up who everybody wanted because everyone knew he was going to be a very good QB, but the Falcons couldn't keep him because the Michael Vick and were all set to go with him for the future and so they traded Schaub to the Texans?  Oops.  Schaub threw for 497 yards and 3 TDs yesterday, continuing his streak of always throwing for a ridiculous amount of yards in every game ever.  Oh, and in case you're curious, which I was, Schaub was traded for two second-round picks and a swap of firsts.  The Falcons acquired DE Jamaal Anderson and OG Justin Blaylock, then traded the other second rounder to Washington for something I'm too lazy to look up.  Since I've never heard of either of those people, I'm going to say it was a bad trade.

WHO SUCKED


1.  Brett Favre.  Sorry folks, but it looks to me like the magical ride is over.  There's no fairy dust left in that arm.  Not only has his lost his biggest strength - his arm - but he looks like the one trait he had that seemed to make him bulletproof, unstable, and impervious to age is gone as well; that stupid cliched love of the game thing.  It was annoying to hear about every five minutes, but it kept him going.  Now that he looks more like the Brett Favre in his last days as a Packer than the Brett Favre from last year, aging should commence rapidly.  Expect him to be out with an injury by week 9, and likely fold up shop for good around week 12 or 13.  I'm fully expecting a mid-season retirement, but in any case there's no doubt this isn't a playoff team.  Even as good as the defense and AP are, I think even 8 wins would be a miracle.  Sorry folks.  Time to turn your hopes and dreams to the Gopher basketball team.  And, I guess, hockey if you like that kind of garbage.  Sicko.

2. Chicago White Sox.  Talk about rolling over.  I know they needed to sweep the Twins with a small chance at hope if they won at least 2 of three, and I know since they got swept the season is 99% over, but talk about going out with a whimper.  First the sweep by the Twins, in which they barely had to break a sweat, and then went ahead and got swept by the Tigers, losing the lead in all three games thanks to that crappy bullpen, including the game last night where they scored 4 in the ninth to send it to extra innings, only to watch Sergio Santos give up the game in the 11th, just one night after he blew the game in the 8th.  So to recap, in the biggest spot of the season and needing to make a big run the Sox got swept in back-to-back series at home against their two biggest division rivals.  Talk about gutless.  Sounds more like a Vikings thing. 

3.  Jake Locker.  Funny story about Locker.  I heard something on the radio about him being the likely #1 pick in next year's NFL draft earlier this week, and how he was facing a pretty tough task in Nebraska's defense this weekend and it would be interesting to see how he did.  Well, the answer is:  shitty.  Locker went 4-20 passing on the day, for a grand total of 71 yards as Washington got rolled by the Huskers 56-21.  I'm sure he's a good QB and all, but let's just say I'm not super impressed.  More like the opposite of that. 

4.  Joe Flacco.  Man this is a QB heavy suck list, but how can I leave off Flacco and his career worst four interceptions?   There is no way the Ravens are going to do much with him at QB.  He's like a bad version of Trent Dilfer, and he couldn't do a thing against Cincinnati on Sunday - thus the four interceptions.   And they were just awful picks, too.  If he had been intentionally throwing to the Bengal d-backs he couldn't have made it easier for them.  So am I saying Joe Flacco threw the game?  Yes. 

5.  Jason Kubel.  Players get hurt, I know, and with the notable exception of Justin Morneau they return and all is fine.  Except with Jason Kubel, this week was the semifinals in our fantasy baseball league, and Snake and I had advanced that far and needed to make a decision about our third outfield spot:  Jason Kubel or Delmon Young.  We went Kubel, in part because he was hotter than Delmon, in part because he was more consistent than Delmon, and in part because the guy we were playing had dropped Kubel earlier so we figured the revenge factor would be strong.  Unfortunately, we didn't get to find out about the revenge factor, because the "I'm a little girl and my wrist hurts" factor won out.  So yes, both of Delmon's homers this week and his 3-hit game tore my soul open a little bit.  The worst part?  Delmon outscored Kubel by 19, and we ended up losing by 49.  So, um, I guess if we had played Delmon the loss would have been a little bit less embarrassing, and since that's the new standard for success around here, Kubel owes me big-time.   



* = since that one insignificant blogger got the shit ripped out of him last year for a throwaway comment about how  people should ask about Raul Ibanez being on Roids after his hot start last year, I feel the need to point out that I'm fucking kidding.  And if you can't figure that out, you're a jackass.  And also you should die.

Six Very Important Things this morning 9.02.2010

Can I tell you guys something?  I'm really tired.  See, when you have one kid, a baby, say, you can just sleep whenever that kid is asleep.  Babies need to be fed every 3 hours or so, which means they are up at all times of night, but you can just feed the kid, put it back to sleep, and then sleep yourself if need be.  Easy peasy.  But when you have a 2.5 year old on top of that, even one as awesome as Wonderbaby, that doesn't work because when the baby is alseep during the day, the toddler isn't.  And toddler's need attention.  Lots of it.   And they aren't afraid to demand it.   And you can try to ignore them, but when they realize they aren't getting the attention they want by asking for it they start doing things like writing on the wall in crayon or hitting the baby with a toy hammer until you look at them.  Because much like Paris Hilton a toddler believes that any attention is good attention, even when it's bad attention.  So yeah. 

I'm back at work, so this doesn't affect me as much as Mrs. W since I do most of my dealing with Baby Benny in the evenings or at night, but his curious habit of refusing to go to sleep after I get up to feed him at 5:30am is not exactly helpful to my brain waves.  Although I have ended up watching more Saved by the Bell lately.  That Zack, what a character!

Also let's hope that's the last time I compared Wonderbaby to Paris Hilton.  On to the important stuff, assuming I don't pass out.

1.  The Twins won another squeaker.  This time it was in the 10th and off the bat of Danny Valencia, in a game that ended up spoiling incredible pitching efforts from both Francisco Liriano and Max Scherzer.  Liriano pitched seven innings of shutout ball only to watch Crain and Guerrier blow his lead, while Scherzer was even more brilliant, throwing nine innings of four-hit ball, allowing just one run while striking out nine.  Not much more to follow up on with this one.  Just an all around amazingly pitched game, where the smallest error was going to make the difference.  The difference last night was that the Tigers' closer of the future is not the reliever of the present, and the Twins' third baseman of the future is suddenly the third baseman of right now.  Danny Valencia has been everything you could have hoped for and more.  Ideally he'll develop more power down the line, but I have no complaints right now.  Except for the fact that the Twins can't seem to pull away from Chicago.

2.  The god damn Indian bullpen is not helping things.  You know what would be super helpful to the Twins winning the division?  If the White Sox would freaking lose, but they can't lose because the Cleveland bullpen is even worse than Chicago's own bullpen (and that's saying a lot).  Carlos Carrasco, in his first start of the year and sixth all-time, put together a very solid outing and left in the 8th with a 4-2 lead.  Then Justin Germano conspires against me, giving up a monstrosity of a 3-run home run to Paul Konerko and the Sox win the stupid game.  This comes after the Cleveland pen gave up a 3-run game winner to Pierzynski the night before, and two nights after they let the Sox score four runs in the 11th inning to lose.  I would have guaranteed you Chicago had the worst bullpen in the division, but looks like it's not even close.  This is like being sure Jaws IV:  The Revenge is the worst movie of all-time, and then seeing Rudy.   

4.   Some people really like Rodney Williams.  According to the article from DraftExpress, Rodney is the #1 NBA prospect in the Big Ten.  Wow.  That is a huge statement, but in a lot of ways it makes sense.  There's is no doubt in my mind that he is the best athlete in the conference, and, as Shawn Respert or Ed O'Bannon will tell you, skill only get you so far.  To succeed in the NBA you need that kind of athleticism (yes, there are plenty of exceptions, but it's a good guideline).   As you'd guess, this lofty ranking of Williams is based on potential, much as expectations of the Gopher faithful are, because aside from the noted athleticism he didn't show all that much last year. 

Now, Tubby's system probably isn't the best for a player like Rodney (can you imagine him in an open offense like Washington or something), but I do believe he will be given every opportunity to improve where he needs to (ball-handling, mid-range game) and at the same time be able to use the skills he already has (jumping, dunking) and could very well end up as an unstoppable force, but I'd say it's up to him.  The potential is there, but will he end up as the next Scottie Pippen?  Scottie Hopson?  Travarus Bennett?  Jermaine Stanford?  Let's hope we at least get the next Vincent Grier, at a minimum, or someone failed.

4.  This leaked all day, but it's now official.  The Big Ten announced the division splits as they'll breakdown when Nebraska joins in 2011:  the Gophers, Iowa, Nebraska, Northwestern, Michigan, and Michigan State in one with Ohio State, Penn State, Purdue, Illinois, Indiana, and Wisconsin in the other.  Each school will also have a dedicated rival in the other division they will play each year, with Minnesota matching up against Wisconsin and, of course, Michigan/Ohio State hooking up every year.  It was also announced that the division names would be announced at a later date, and with the way the teams are broken up I don't really see how they could do geographic names, so maybe it will be legends of the Big Ten.  Like the Bo and Woody divisions, or the Foggie and Fleetwood.  Thompson and Darkins?

And although this is mostly about football so that's what's being focused on, but if they keep the division system (no guarantee) there is some interesting things at work here.  In the Gophers' division, they'd be the second or third best program from a historical perspective, and the clear #2 from a "recent history" perspective.  The division would also have the current three worst programs, and two of three perennial doormats (with apologies to Northwestern who admittedly are much better lately).  Basically it stacks up heavily in the Gophers' favor and should make NCAA bids easier to come by in the future if they go with this (and lord knows the Gophers need the help).  Since the division are so skewed when it comes to hoops, with one loaded and one crappy, I doubt they'll adopt the system, but we can always hope.  Hey, a bid is a bid, no matter what kind of breaks the schedule gives you.  And I'm only referring to basketball there, not football, Mr. Music City Bowl.

5.  Hopefully this will surpass the Gopher scandal.  You know how whenever there is ever any kind of academic fraud at an institution of higher learning, whether rumored or proven, the article always has to bring up the Clem Haskins frame job as the "worst ever example of academic fraud"?  Well North Carolina and Butch Davis are doing their best to get the Gophers knocked out of that top spot, with the latest allegations that Davis's nanny or former tutor (depending on the report, and either way it sounds like porn) was writing papers for the football team.  And there's definitely something here, because apparently the entire starting defense was playing with the scout team at practice today, and the Russ Archambeau of this situation, D-lineman Marvin Austin, has been suspended indefinitely along with a couple other starters, and a starting cornerback has been kicked off the team.

I say he's the Russ Archambeau because he's the one who tipped off the NCAA, but unlike Swift Bird, who was just a whiny bitch with a grudge, Austin is just an idiot with a Twitter account who posted pictures of a brand new fancy watch, fancy pants douche sunglasses, and talked about bottle service at clubs.  Not a big deal for a college kid, but for a future NFL player still in college whose other tweets talk about how broke he is, it drew the eye of the NCAA Fascists and has turned into possibly the biggest academic fraud ever.

And thank god.  I'm sick of seeing the Gophers mentioned over and over whenever anything like this happens.  I hope that nanny tutor school girl nurse lifeguard wrote every paper for every sport at UNC for the last five years. 

6.  College Football starts tonight.  You are probably aware, seeing as how your beloved Gophers are traveling to Murfreesboro, TN to take on the hated Blue Raiders of Middle Tennessee State.  If you recall, your favorite football team was a 4.5 point underdog to this Sun Belt Juggernaut, but then stud QB and sweet name haver Dwight Dasher was ruled ineligible, and now the Gophers are a 2.5 point favorite.  Does this seem fishy to anybody else?  I was lead to believe in the very little reading I did on the game that Dasher was a super stud of Major Harris proportions and the main/only reason MTSU was a dangerous team.  Yet the line only moved to 2.5 in Minnesota's favor, which probably means the game is actually a pick 'em.  Which means the Gophers are dead.  D-E-A-D.  You heard it here first.

If you're looking for a preview of the game, you're in the wrong place, but let me recommend the always outstanding Daily Gopher, who you probably read anyway and who recently absorbed the Gopher Football blog.  There is more info there about the Gophers and MTSU and Gophers vs. MTSU than any sane person could possibly want or need.

More importantly, the Gopher basketball team begins their Canadian trip tonight, and you can watch the game on the web at SportsCanada.tv.  I'm going to try, but no promises.  Stupid wiener kids.


Well that certainly was a lot of words.  Apparently not writing often enough just causes some sort of word backup, so when I do write it all just comes pouring out.  Like that pipe full of crap that Andy Dufresne burst open with that rock.

And yes, I'm serious, Rudy is the worst movie of all-time.  If you disagree, you are a sentimental idiot who probably loved The Notebook as well.

Six Very Important Things this Morning 8.12.2010

1.  Reverse the curse?  I'm not surprised the Twins lost there, because Perkins vs. Danks is clearly tilted in the White Sox favor, but I'm really unsettled by how they lost.  Getting thrown out at third trying to stretch a double into a triple?  Failing to turn an easy double play?  Making multiple errors?  Picking a runner off of first but being unable to get the actual out because of a poor throw by the first baseman?  Having a pitcher failing to cover first on a grounder to the first baseman?  Not being able to get a big hit?  These are all the same things we've watched the Sox do against the Twins, and are the reason the Sox, Guillen, and their fans felt cursed against the Twins.

I don't want to take anything from Danksy, because he was brilliant tonight and kept the Twins off balance all game, but the Twins made damn sure they had no chance to win tonight.  Perkins didn't pitch well by any means, but he wasn't completely awful and he gave the team a solid chance to win.  Except that they played like morons.  Or, more accurately, the played like the White Sox, while the Sox played like the Twins.  If tonight was a sign of the roles flipping and we have to expect that kind of shit for the next 7 years or whatever you can count me out.  I'm going to track down the Zoltar Machine at Sea Point Park and get that crazy gypsy to fix this shit right quick.

2.  Break up the O's?  Don't look now, but suddenly the Orioles are white hot.  After beating the Indians tonight Baltimore has suddenly won four games in a row, which might not seem like a huge deal but you have to realize that is 10% of their victories on the season.  Even more shocking, the won thanks to a Brad Bergesen 2-hit shutout.  Let that one sink in for a moment.  Brad Bergeson with the 5.84 ERA.  Brad Bergesen with the 1.53 WHIP.  Brad Bergesen who hasn't won a game in his last 13 starts.  Brad Bergesen with the unbent bill of his cap.  Brad Bergesen who once got hurt shooting a commercial.  Apparently anything Buck Showalter touches turns instantly to gold.  Word is Joel Maturi has inquired to see if he has any interest in Gopher football.

3.  There was a fun trade in the NBA.  This isn't exactly going to shake the NBA landscape, but any time you get a four-team, five-player trade it's worth noting because hey, that's fun.  Houston traded Trevor Ariza to the Hornets, who traded Darren Collison and James Posey to the Pacers, who traded Troy Murphy to the Nets, who traded Courtney Lee to the Rockets.  So the Hornets get a good player to show Chris Paul they are serious about winning (although Ariza, really?), the Pacers get a steal in getting a potential top line PG for a slow white dork, while the Nets can use that same slow white guy to eat up minutes so they don't have to force Derrick Favors to play too much too quickly.  And the Rockets shed some salary, which they needed to after signing a bunch of large contracts this offseason, but get back a good quality, young rotation player at the same time.  The elusive win-win-win-win trade.  Meanwhile the Timberwolves traded a player they just signed last year for 4 years and $16 million dollars for two players who they immediately cut, assuming Telfair has been cut by now.  So I guess it's win-win-win-win-win.  Go team.    

4.  It's wide open.  The season's fourth and final major, the PGA Championship, starts today, and it's an absolutely wide open field.  The usual favorite is a complete mess, the #2 guy just completely melted down last Sunday, can't take advantage of his opportunities to become the world #1 and sucks at links style golf (which this course is), and the #3 isn't entered due to injury.  Beyond that there about 30 different guys who have a legit chance to win this and you could make a solid argument for.  I won't do that, but I will give you my top 6 and a sleeper:

1.  Rory McIlroy

2.  Steve Stricker

3.  Jeff Overton

4.  Retief Goosen

5.  Nick Watney

6.  Graeme McDowell

SLEEPER:  Ross Fisher

This, of course, means that Hunter Mahan is going to win.

5.  The most dangerous player in the Big Ten may have found a new home.  Chris Allen, the most dangerous player in the Big Ten and if you disagree I will fight you, recently visited our good friend Freddy Hoiberg at Iowa State and it sounds like he might be leaning towards joining the Cyclones.  This would help Hoiberg with his apparent need to collect players of questionable moral character - which of course is genius for him.  The Clones have been a nightmare since Jake Sullivan left, and no offense to Ames (which is currently underwater) but I've visited there and I don't exactly see a lot that would be a draw for a big-time recruit.  As such, collecting talented players whose background's scare other team's off is a calculated, and I think smart, risk that could bring this team back to prominence.  Or they crash and burn and suck and nobody notices the difference.

6.  Finally, the Great Villain triumphs.  If you've read this post of mine or have heard me talk about it since or have pretty much ever been to my house, you'll seen the greatest movie ever, "The King of Kong" by now.  I'm not going to break it all the way down for you here, but seriously if you haven't seen it you have to go find it on Netflix or Blockbuster or Vudu or CinemaNow or whatever - go watch it.  It is the most fascinating look at the people who make up the world of championship gaming (retro games only, of course) centering around a battle for the world record of Donkey Kong between Steve Wiebe (clearly painted as the hero) and Billy Mitchell (clearly painted as the villain).  Of course, it wasn't too difficult to make him look bad, since his combination of smugness and douchery has only been seen before in a villain in an 80s movie (Karate Kid, Back to School, and Teen Wolf immediately come to mind), but douche though he may be, he once again has set the World Record in Donkey Kong (and Donkey Kong Jr. to boot).

Seriously, find a way to watch this and watch it.  I'm not being sarcastic or ironic or anything like that.  It is epically awesome to watch.  Check this:


Please, I beg you, watch this movie.