I was going to do a typical week in review post last night, but as I sat and stared at my computer screen I realized I got nothin'. The Twins have sucked the life out of me and I just couldn't bring myself to type anything. I started and deleted at least three times, and then was going to watch a shark movie and just didn't have the energy. Thanks Twins!
They've killed my brain so much I can't even cook right anymore. For last night's meal I looked around at what we had in the fridge and pantry and decided to make a Cuban chili. I screwed it up every way imaginable. Actually the first step, browning the ground beef with onions, red peppers, and garlic, went well, but from there it was right down hill. I used way too much liquid in the base (beef broth + mexican beer) and made it way watery. Then, after the first 45 minutes or so in the crock pot it seemed bland and rather than slowly adding spices to give it the flavor it needs I just threw a bunch of stuff in all at once and it ended up way too spicy. Luckily I have Mrs. W around, who just scooped 90% of the broth out to make it more chili-y and also cut back on the spice. I added some garlic salt and onion powder and WA-LA it ended up pretty good. But it turns out I'm not quite the brilliant chef I like to think I am. Well usually I am but not this time. Except for when I helped fix it. Anyway the Twins are stupid.
1. I quit watching after the third inning because it was 9-0. It's now 18-1 in the fifth. Eighteen. To. Fucking. One. Feels like the perfect end to a perfect season This team sucks, Nick Blackburn throws the ball too easy to hit to even be a batting practice pitcher, and I'm never writing about the Twins again. EVER. Unless they start trading dudes, then I'll write about the sweet sweet prospects they pick up. God I hate this so much. This is just like that time I cut my own finger off. [EDIT: Final was 20-6. L. O. L.]
2. It looks like we'll have an NFL this year after all. Football players and owners apparently realized that they all stand to make billions of dollars as long as there is a season and came to an agreement to go ahead and play some american football this year. This sort of bums me out.
Not that I don't like football, because I really do, but because there is just so much about the NFL season that bugs me. Particularly the fans. And can you imagine that group of fans - the kind of guys who watch every minute of every preseason game, are convinced they're smarter than every coach, bitch and complain the one week there's no Sunday night football because of the World Series, and who ignore their family for 12 hours every Sunday so they can watch the six different TVs they have the overpriced Sunday Ticket hooked up to in a room they inevitably call their "man cave" (and seriously, can we stop putting man in front of words to make up new words? It's not a man-cave, it's a den. It's not a mancation, it's a vacation. It's not man-scaping, it's shaving. And so on).
You know the kind of guy I'm talking about. And you can you imagine this guy without football? It would be hilarious. I imagine these guys would just start wandering around their neighborhood muttering to themselves and yelling at inanimate objects about getting into a cover 2 and rolling the safety over or start staging fake games in their yard using lawn gnomes. But now that dream is over, just like the dream of getting to watch scab players this year. Oh what could have been. Where have you gone, Brian Cupito?
3. Plenty of other things flying around the NFL rumor mill as well, including Terrell Pryor and Brett Favre rumors. The Favre rumor is that he may sign with the Eagles to be insurance behind Michael Vick, which supposedly makes sense because he's had a long-time relationship with Andy Reid. I would guess we can just ignore this because I really don't see him coming back after that pounding he took last year and I really don't see him volunteering for back-up duty. Then again, since he has a need for attention that would rival any 3-year old you know we're not going to hear a definitive answer from him, so this is going to drag out. Again. And dominate the news to the point where you want to stab your ears out with a spoon. Again. Pete Rose II just needs to die or something so he'll actually go away.
As far as Pryor, the big cheating cheater, it turns out that due to a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo that I neither understand nor have actually read, he might not get to enter the NFL supplemental draft this year. In that case I'd assume his options would be to play in the Arena League, CFL, XFL (if it still exists), or sling crack rock. Which is good for him because then maybe he can make some money because once he hits the NFL he's going to absolutely suck. Spergon Wynn style. Seriously, the guy could hit the broad side of Sarah Rue (before she sadly got all skinny) with a pass if she was standing still and he's supposed to be an NFL QB? Sure he can run, but that's all he can do. All you need to know is that he is Ohio State's all-time leading rusher as a QB and it's well known that there has never been an all-time leading rushing QB from a school who has succeeded in the NFL. Sorry Terrelle, you're doomed. And you suck and are a cheater and a bad person.
4. This T-Wolves coaching search is rather perplexing. I can't quite figure out what they're going for. The latest is that they interviewed Larry Brown, who is 71 years old and I can't possibly figure out what the upside is, other than possible insurance money from when he dies (whether of a heart attack or Michael Beasley snapping and beating him with a dreadlock makes no difference). The other guys, warts and all, at least have something that I get. Don Nelson is super old but likes to play uptempo which is what Kahn wants and plays to Ricky Rubio's strength. Bernie Bickerstaff is a total retread but, in theory, would have brought JB into play as the coach of the future (too late for this now). Terry Porter would be an inexperienced, but young (for a coach) up and comer. Rick Adelman is just a good coach. I've never head of Mike Woodson.
But Larry Brown doesn't make sense for the Wolves and the job doesn't make sense for him either. At 71, he'll be 75 by the time this is a possible playoff team, and Brown is notoriously difficult on young players and point guards. Seeing as how the Wolves are exclusively young players and have basically hitched the hopes of the entire franchise on a rookie point guard this match makes me nervous. Yeah, he's famous for turning losers into 8 seeds, but he's also a thousand years old and will probably end up shooting Beasley and/or Kahn by the all-star break. But I guess they wouldn't be the Wolves if they did something that made sense.
5. Ray Rice is going to destroy you. Since NFL teams can do shit now the Ravens released a bunch of fairly notable players: Derrick Mason, Todd Heap, and Willis McGahee. Mason is 100 and Heap has sucked for two years but the McGahee release is important because it means whoever the coach of the Ravens is won't have to keep him happy by giving him the goalline carries. The Bear once said Rice was overrated because he'd never be "a monster" but now McGahee is gone, he runs for a billion yards and catches enough balls to be the next generation of Thurman Thomas, and now he's going to get the goal line carries. Can Ray Rice be a monster? We're about to find out. And I think this is going to go down just like he's Kobe Bryant and the league is that poor girl from that hotel.
6. I was hoping to ignore the Twins for the rest of this post, but then there's this: The Nationals are after Denard Span and the Twins are listening. Frankly, this makes no sense. I agree the Twins should start looking to move some dudes because they suck and this season is dead, and I also think it makes sense to move an outfielder/DH because that's what they have an abundance of. But not Span.
First, he's under a reasonable contract. He's signed through 2014 with a team option for '15 at a good cost ($3m next year, $4.75m the next, $6.5m in '14, $9m on the option) so you don't need to move him soon. Unlike Kubel (free-agent to be) and Cuddyer (free-agent to be), or Jim Thome (1 more year but clearly not part of rebuilding).
Second, his skill set is something the Twins don't have anywhere else: an actual lead-off hitter. I love Ben Revere, I really do, but unless he starts walking more and finds a way to hit the ball farther than the average girl in a co-ed softball league once in a while (and yes that's AND, not OR) he's a nine hitter with a little excitement due to his speed. I mean really, Kubel, Cuddy, and Delmon are such similar players if you move one you're not fundamentally changing your team's make-up, but Span is the only real lead-off hitter, maybe in the system. If you still had Gomez and he was progressing (which, by the way, he still isn't) then trading Span is palatable, even though it still doesn't make sense.
Lastly, the Nationals are not a playoff team. They aren't making trades for a playoff push, they're making trades to try to get better for the long run. So why would a non-playoff team who needs to build for the future trade a guy to a different non-playoff team who needs to build for the future? Because the Twins want Ian freaking Desmond to be their future shortstop? The guy is absolutely terrible. Might as well have just kept Jason Bartlett for christ's sake.
Look, I get the Ramos trade for Capps. It was stupid and I said so at the time, but I at least understand what they were doing, however misguided. But trading Span, unless you are getting back Stephen Strasburg or Bryce Harper or Wilson Ramos, doesn't make sense financially, logically, chemistry-y, physically, lineup-y, racially, or sexually. Leave it to the Twins and that rapey dickmitten Bill Smith. Have fun watching Ian Desmond flail about like the next Nick Punto for the next four years.
Fuck this. I'm moving.
Showing posts with label Brett Favre. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Brett Favre. Show all posts
Monday, July 25, 2011
Monday, October 18, 2010
Notes and Links on a Tuesday
- According to Adam Zagoria over on the Twitter, (who you should follow) and confirmed by Rivals, Ryan Boatright will attend West Virginia in 2011. This sucks for many reasons, including the fact that I desperately wanted him like a school boy. And also the fact that he was really good: #11 PG in the class according to Rivals, #48 overall, and the #2 non-committed PG behind Quinn Cook. I don't know what exactly happened, but I know the Gophers were at least showing some interest at some point, but either they or he decided they weren't interested because the Gophers aren't on his official list and he's not listed as having received an offer.
Doesn't make it hurt any less. It's like that girl you were secretly in love with in high school. You know, she never reciprocated, but you guys were really good friends so you always thought you had a chance, and then that one time she picked you to be her physics partner and you got to go over to her house and eat dinner and it was magical, and then your physics project was kick ass and you're feeling really good about things and then she goes to prom with some dumb soccer player from a neighboring school. Or something.
- Sliding into first is dumb enough, but to slide into first and then somehow miss the base? I gotta say, I've never seen that before. Leave it to Gardner to take sliding into first into a whole new stratosphere of dumb.
- Speaking of dumb, at what point do we get to leave this whole Brett Favre dong pic thing alone? Come on, who hasn't done something similar? I've texted pictures of my junk to at least seven people, five of whom didn't ask for it and four of whom were women. So big deal, right? He's just like a big kid out there, remember? So to him it's probably not even sexual, it's just a funny picture of a funny body part. You can't talk about his youthful kidlikeness and boyish exuberance and then expect him to act like an adult when it comes to being responsible in regards to pictures of his crank.
By the way, did you hear those pictures were actually supposed to be going to his wife? They were intercepted. Seriously though, how do we even know that's his schlong? Other than the fact that it's throwing an interception in one of the pictures?
I can do this all night.
- Back to Ryan Boatright for a second. With WVU also picking up Tommie McCune, that means that is the second recruit Huggy Bear has ganked from Tubby. I don't think I like this matchup. I feel like Huggins is going to get his man every time.
- The name I most often hear from people with an opinion but haven't really thought about who the next Gopher football coach should be is Tony Dungy. Thank god he finally put that rumor to bed today, which is weird because he also put that rumor to bed back in September, and now we can move on to more wild speculation. Or, more accurately, less wild speculation such as Mike Leach, who admitted he would be interested in the job if he was contacted. Couple things. One, how fun would it be to watch that Texas Tech offense come to Minnesota? Answer: legendary. Second, I highly doubt they would hire someone here at the U who had been fired for locking a player in the closet. Although based on the reason (kid couldn't play after a concussion) I'd say the Twins should maybe look into him as a bench coach.
Serious write-up on Leach as a possibility can be found here from The Daily Gopher. It's a lot of words so I'm going to assume it's good.
- Good recap on that midnight madness thing right here. I think my favorite part is that Ralph Sampson not only participated in the 3-point contest, and was one of only three contestants, but that he almost beat Devoe Joseph, losing only 9-11. He's always had the confidence to take the shot, but I only remember him hitting one big one against Purdue. If he's truly added that to his arsenal, and added it without taking away anything inside or becoming one of those 6-11 dandies who flit about the three-point line all game, he's going to be unstoppable.
- There's a reason Cliff Lee has such a reputation as an incredible playoff pitcher.
- Also Chris Johnson sucks.
Doesn't make it hurt any less. It's like that girl you were secretly in love with in high school. You know, she never reciprocated, but you guys were really good friends so you always thought you had a chance, and then that one time she picked you to be her physics partner and you got to go over to her house and eat dinner and it was magical, and then your physics project was kick ass and you're feeling really good about things and then she goes to prom with some dumb soccer player from a neighboring school. Or something.
- Sliding into first is dumb enough, but to slide into first and then somehow miss the base? I gotta say, I've never seen that before. Leave it to Gardner to take sliding into first into a whole new stratosphere of dumb.
- Speaking of dumb, at what point do we get to leave this whole Brett Favre dong pic thing alone? Come on, who hasn't done something similar? I've texted pictures of my junk to at least seven people, five of whom didn't ask for it and four of whom were women. So big deal, right? He's just like a big kid out there, remember? So to him it's probably not even sexual, it's just a funny picture of a funny body part. You can't talk about his youthful kidlikeness and boyish exuberance and then expect him to act like an adult when it comes to being responsible in regards to pictures of his crank.
By the way, did you hear those pictures were actually supposed to be going to his wife? They were intercepted. Seriously though, how do we even know that's his schlong? Other than the fact that it's throwing an interception in one of the pictures?
I can do this all night.
- Back to Ryan Boatright for a second. With WVU also picking up Tommie McCune, that means that is the second recruit Huggy Bear has ganked from Tubby. I don't think I like this matchup. I feel like Huggins is going to get his man every time.
- The name I most often hear from people with an opinion but haven't really thought about who the next Gopher football coach should be is Tony Dungy. Thank god he finally put that rumor to bed today, which is weird because he also put that rumor to bed back in September, and now we can move on to more wild speculation. Or, more accurately, less wild speculation such as Mike Leach, who admitted he would be interested in the job if he was contacted. Couple things. One, how fun would it be to watch that Texas Tech offense come to Minnesota? Answer: legendary. Second, I highly doubt they would hire someone here at the U who had been fired for locking a player in the closet. Although based on the reason (kid couldn't play after a concussion) I'd say the Twins should maybe look into him as a bench coach.
Serious write-up on Leach as a possibility can be found here from The Daily Gopher. It's a lot of words so I'm going to assume it's good.
- Good recap on that midnight madness thing right here. I think my favorite part is that Ralph Sampson not only participated in the 3-point contest, and was one of only three contestants, but that he almost beat Devoe Joseph, losing only 9-11. He's always had the confidence to take the shot, but I only remember him hitting one big one against Purdue. If he's truly added that to his arsenal, and added it without taking away anything inside or becoming one of those 6-11 dandies who flit about the three-point line all game, he's going to be unstoppable.
- There's a reason Cliff Lee has such a reputation as an incredible playoff pitcher.
- Also Chris Johnson sucks.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Weekend Review - 9.20.2010
Well, the Gophers lost to USC, which I don't think surprised anyone, but they didn't embarrass themselves, which did surprise some - myself included. So how do you categorize that loss? I wouldn't say they sucked, because they didn't embarrass themselves, but is not embarrassing yourself considered a success these days? If it is, that means my work day is successful 80% of the time, which I like, but I can't give a whole lot of credit to a team that is in a BCS conference for only losing by two touchdowns to the worst version of USC in years. They played, and they didn't suck. I guess, sadly, that really could be considered a success in Brewster's Gopher Nation. Ouch.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Troy Tulowitzki. I think we need a new word for this guy, because hot doesn't begin to do him justice. Remember the other day when I mentioned how he had hit 11 home runs in his last 13 games? And described that as jesus? Well, since then he hit a home run on Friday and followed it up with 2 more on Saturday. You know there's regular (and sugar free) Red Bull, but then they also have the little Red Bull shots that are more concentrated and give you a shorter, stronger burst of probably super healthy energy? I feel like Tulowitzki must be on that version of HGH - not a whole season worth or anything, just enough to hit a ridiculous amount of home runs in a small period of time.* Seriously dude, I am all-in for Rocktoberfest. Assuming the make the playoffs, of course. If not I never liked them anyway.
2. Felix Hernandez. King Felix added a little more fuel to the Cy Young fire, nearly pitching a no-hitter against Texas Friday before allowing a home run to Nelson Cruz in the 8th, ending up with just 8 strong innings and a rare win. Rare enough that a bit of a nerd fight has broken out amongst the stat nerds and the old school traditionalists over who deserves to win the Cy Young award this year. Here are the top 3 candidates:
3. Ryan Mallet. I really like this kid. Of course, that could be because I've only seen two of his game, one from last year when he won me two bets, the over on his completions and his yards, that I placed on a tip from a friend and then this week's game where he threw for 380 yards and 3 TDs, including the game winner (and Arkansas +3 bet winner) with fifteen seconds to go. Plus, he just looks like a big-time QB back there. A pure thrower with a good pocket presence and good fundamentals. And he should, he's got the pedigree: #2 QB and #4 overall player in his high school class by Rivals and Gatorade High School Player of the Year in Texas his senior year. Texas! You've seen Varsity Blues, you know what it's like down there. He's like Lance Harbor, but without the knee injury. He was smart to leave Michigan after Rodriguez signed on since he's no Major Harris, but he does remind me quite a little bit of Peyton Manning now that he's at Arkansas. High praise? Yes. Kind of stupid to say since I've only seen two of his games? Absolutely. Is that going to stop me? Hell no.
4. Jahvid Best. The Lions still suck, but at least they have another exciting young player to add to Calvin Johnson in Best. After a huge day that saw him gain over 230 total yards and score 3 times he now has five TDs through two games to lead the NFL. One of his TDs yesterday was a 75 yard screen pass, a play where he showecased the speed and vision that will make him a top back in the future, and also scored on a 2-yd run showing he has some power to his game as well. The Lions now have the skill positions set, if they can just fix a terrible, terrible defense and shore up an awful, awful offensive line, and then find a second and third receiver, they'll be all set.
5. Matt Schaub. Remember how, not all that long ago, the Atlanta Falcons had this awesome back-up who everybody wanted because everyone knew he was going to be a very good QB, but the Falcons couldn't keep him because the Michael Vick and were all set to go with him for the future and so they traded Schaub to the Texans? Oops. Schaub threw for 497 yards and 3 TDs yesterday, continuing his streak of always throwing for a ridiculous amount of yards in every game ever. Oh, and in case you're curious, which I was, Schaub was traded for two second-round picks and a swap of firsts. The Falcons acquired DE Jamaal Anderson and OG Justin Blaylock, then traded the other second rounder to Washington for something I'm too lazy to look up. Since I've never heard of either of those people, I'm going to say it was a bad trade.
WHO SUCKED
1. Brett Favre. Sorry folks, but it looks to me like the magical ride is over. There's no fairy dust left in that arm. Not only has his lost his biggest strength - his arm - but he looks like the one trait he had that seemed to make him bulletproof, unstable, and impervious to age is gone as well; that stupid cliched love of the game thing. It was annoying to hear about every five minutes, but it kept him going. Now that he looks more like the Brett Favre in his last days as a Packer than the Brett Favre from last year, aging should commence rapidly. Expect him to be out with an injury by week 9, and likely fold up shop for good around week 12 or 13. I'm fully expecting a mid-season retirement, but in any case there's no doubt this isn't a playoff team. Even as good as the defense and AP are, I think even 8 wins would be a miracle. Sorry folks. Time to turn your hopes and dreams to the Gopher basketball team. And, I guess, hockey if you like that kind of garbage. Sicko.
2. Chicago White Sox. Talk about rolling over. I know they needed to sweep the Twins with a small chance at hope if they won at least 2 of three, and I know since they got swept the season is 99% over, but talk about going out with a whimper. First the sweep by the Twins, in which they barely had to break a sweat, and then went ahead and got swept by the Tigers, losing the lead in all three games thanks to that crappy bullpen, including the game last night where they scored 4 in the ninth to send it to extra innings, only to watch Sergio Santos give up the game in the 11th, just one night after he blew the game in the 8th. So to recap, in the biggest spot of the season and needing to make a big run the Sox got swept in back-to-back series at home against their two biggest division rivals. Talk about gutless. Sounds more like a Vikings thing.
3. Jake Locker. Funny story about Locker. I heard something on the radio about him being the likely #1 pick in next year's NFL draft earlier this week, and how he was facing a pretty tough task in Nebraska's defense this weekend and it would be interesting to see how he did. Well, the answer is: shitty. Locker went 4-20 passing on the day, for a grand total of 71 yards as Washington got rolled by the Huskers 56-21. I'm sure he's a good QB and all, but let's just say I'm not super impressed. More like the opposite of that.
4. Joe Flacco. Man this is a QB heavy suck list, but how can I leave off Flacco and his career worst four interceptions? There is no way the Ravens are going to do much with him at QB. He's like a bad version of Trent Dilfer, and he couldn't do a thing against Cincinnati on Sunday - thus the four interceptions. And they were just awful picks, too. If he had been intentionally throwing to the Bengal d-backs he couldn't have made it easier for them. So am I saying Joe Flacco threw the game? Yes.
5. Jason Kubel. Players get hurt, I know, and with the notable exception of Justin Morneau they return and all is fine. Except with Jason Kubel, this week was the semifinals in our fantasy baseball league, and Snake and I had advanced that far and needed to make a decision about our third outfield spot: Jason Kubel or Delmon Young. We went Kubel, in part because he was hotter than Delmon, in part because he was more consistent than Delmon, and in part because the guy we were playing had dropped Kubel earlier so we figured the revenge factor would be strong. Unfortunately, we didn't get to find out about the revenge factor, because the "I'm a little girl and my wrist hurts" factor won out. So yes, both of Delmon's homers this week and his 3-hit game tore my soul open a little bit. The worst part? Delmon outscored Kubel by 19, and we ended up losing by 49. So, um, I guess if we had played Delmon the loss would have been a little bit less embarrassing, and since that's the new standard for success around here, Kubel owes me big-time.
* = since that one insignificant blogger got the shit ripped out of him last year for a throwaway comment about how people should ask about Raul Ibanez being on Roids after his hot start last year, I feel the need to point out that I'm fucking kidding. And if you can't figure that out, you're a jackass. And also you should die.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Troy Tulowitzki. I think we need a new word for this guy, because hot doesn't begin to do him justice. Remember the other day when I mentioned how he had hit 11 home runs in his last 13 games? And described that as jesus? Well, since then he hit a home run on Friday and followed it up with 2 more on Saturday. You know there's regular (and sugar free) Red Bull, but then they also have the little Red Bull shots that are more concentrated and give you a shorter, stronger burst of probably super healthy energy? I feel like Tulowitzki must be on that version of HGH - not a whole season worth or anything, just enough to hit a ridiculous amount of home runs in a small period of time.* Seriously dude, I am all-in for Rocktoberfest. Assuming the make the playoffs, of course. If not I never liked them anyway.
2. Felix Hernandez. King Felix added a little more fuel to the Cy Young fire, nearly pitching a no-hitter against Texas Friday before allowing a home run to Nelson Cruz in the 8th, ending up with just 8 strong innings and a rare win. Rare enough that a bit of a nerd fight has broken out amongst the stat nerds and the old school traditionalists over who deserves to win the Cy Young award this year. Here are the top 3 candidates:
- C.C. Sabathia: 20-6, 3.05 ERA, 1.18 WHIP, 183 Ks, 224 IPs
- David Price: 17-6, 2.79 ERA, 1.19 WHIP, 172 Ks, 194 IPs
- Felix: 12-11, 2.35 ERA, 1.07 WHIP, 222 Ks, 234 IPs
3. Ryan Mallet. I really like this kid. Of course, that could be because I've only seen two of his game, one from last year when he won me two bets, the over on his completions and his yards, that I placed on a tip from a friend and then this week's game where he threw for 380 yards and 3 TDs, including the game winner (and Arkansas +3 bet winner) with fifteen seconds to go. Plus, he just looks like a big-time QB back there. A pure thrower with a good pocket presence and good fundamentals. And he should, he's got the pedigree: #2 QB and #4 overall player in his high school class by Rivals and Gatorade High School Player of the Year in Texas his senior year. Texas! You've seen Varsity Blues, you know what it's like down there. He's like Lance Harbor, but without the knee injury. He was smart to leave Michigan after Rodriguez signed on since he's no Major Harris, but he does remind me quite a little bit of Peyton Manning now that he's at Arkansas. High praise? Yes. Kind of stupid to say since I've only seen two of his games? Absolutely. Is that going to stop me? Hell no.
4. Jahvid Best. The Lions still suck, but at least they have another exciting young player to add to Calvin Johnson in Best. After a huge day that saw him gain over 230 total yards and score 3 times he now has five TDs through two games to lead the NFL. One of his TDs yesterday was a 75 yard screen pass, a play where he showecased the speed and vision that will make him a top back in the future, and also scored on a 2-yd run showing he has some power to his game as well. The Lions now have the skill positions set, if they can just fix a terrible, terrible defense and shore up an awful, awful offensive line, and then find a second and third receiver, they'll be all set.
5. Matt Schaub. Remember how, not all that long ago, the Atlanta Falcons had this awesome back-up who everybody wanted because everyone knew he was going to be a very good QB, but the Falcons couldn't keep him because the Michael Vick and were all set to go with him for the future and so they traded Schaub to the Texans? Oops. Schaub threw for 497 yards and 3 TDs yesterday, continuing his streak of always throwing for a ridiculous amount of yards in every game ever. Oh, and in case you're curious, which I was, Schaub was traded for two second-round picks and a swap of firsts. The Falcons acquired DE Jamaal Anderson and OG Justin Blaylock, then traded the other second rounder to Washington for something I'm too lazy to look up. Since I've never heard of either of those people, I'm going to say it was a bad trade.
WHO SUCKED
1. Brett Favre. Sorry folks, but it looks to me like the magical ride is over. There's no fairy dust left in that arm. Not only has his lost his biggest strength - his arm - but he looks like the one trait he had that seemed to make him bulletproof, unstable, and impervious to age is gone as well; that stupid cliched love of the game thing. It was annoying to hear about every five minutes, but it kept him going. Now that he looks more like the Brett Favre in his last days as a Packer than the Brett Favre from last year, aging should commence rapidly. Expect him to be out with an injury by week 9, and likely fold up shop for good around week 12 or 13. I'm fully expecting a mid-season retirement, but in any case there's no doubt this isn't a playoff team. Even as good as the defense and AP are, I think even 8 wins would be a miracle. Sorry folks. Time to turn your hopes and dreams to the Gopher basketball team. And, I guess, hockey if you like that kind of garbage. Sicko.
2. Chicago White Sox. Talk about rolling over. I know they needed to sweep the Twins with a small chance at hope if they won at least 2 of three, and I know since they got swept the season is 99% over, but talk about going out with a whimper. First the sweep by the Twins, in which they barely had to break a sweat, and then went ahead and got swept by the Tigers, losing the lead in all three games thanks to that crappy bullpen, including the game last night where they scored 4 in the ninth to send it to extra innings, only to watch Sergio Santos give up the game in the 11th, just one night after he blew the game in the 8th. So to recap, in the biggest spot of the season and needing to make a big run the Sox got swept in back-to-back series at home against their two biggest division rivals. Talk about gutless. Sounds more like a Vikings thing.
3. Jake Locker. Funny story about Locker. I heard something on the radio about him being the likely #1 pick in next year's NFL draft earlier this week, and how he was facing a pretty tough task in Nebraska's defense this weekend and it would be interesting to see how he did. Well, the answer is: shitty. Locker went 4-20 passing on the day, for a grand total of 71 yards as Washington got rolled by the Huskers 56-21. I'm sure he's a good QB and all, but let's just say I'm not super impressed. More like the opposite of that.
4. Joe Flacco. Man this is a QB heavy suck list, but how can I leave off Flacco and his career worst four interceptions? There is no way the Ravens are going to do much with him at QB. He's like a bad version of Trent Dilfer, and he couldn't do a thing against Cincinnati on Sunday - thus the four interceptions. And they were just awful picks, too. If he had been intentionally throwing to the Bengal d-backs he couldn't have made it easier for them. So am I saying Joe Flacco threw the game? Yes.
5. Jason Kubel. Players get hurt, I know, and with the notable exception of Justin Morneau they return and all is fine. Except with Jason Kubel, this week was the semifinals in our fantasy baseball league, and Snake and I had advanced that far and needed to make a decision about our third outfield spot: Jason Kubel or Delmon Young. We went Kubel, in part because he was hotter than Delmon, in part because he was more consistent than Delmon, and in part because the guy we were playing had dropped Kubel earlier so we figured the revenge factor would be strong. Unfortunately, we didn't get to find out about the revenge factor, because the "I'm a little girl and my wrist hurts" factor won out. So yes, both of Delmon's homers this week and his 3-hit game tore my soul open a little bit. The worst part? Delmon outscored Kubel by 19, and we ended up losing by 49. So, um, I guess if we had played Delmon the loss would have been a little bit less embarrassing, and since that's the new standard for success around here, Kubel owes me big-time.
* = since that one insignificant blogger got the shit ripped out of him last year for a throwaway comment about how people should ask about Raul Ibanez being on Roids after his hot start last year, I feel the need to point out that I'm fucking kidding. And if you can't figure that out, you're a jackass. And also you should die.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Six Very Important Things this Morning 8.5.2010
1. An ugly win is still a win. And any win over a team like the Rays is a good thing, but man did they do everything they could to lose this one. They wasted a monster outing from Scott Baker, the kind that reminds us that when he is on he is nearly unhittable. They missed countless opportunities to get more runs across, and ended up heading into the ninth with just a 1-0 lead that was promptly squandered by new closer Matt Capps, with a healthy assist to the piss-poor outfield that seemed to make mistakes all game long, only to have Baker pitch around them - something Capps couldn't do.
But despite their stunning ability to strike out on pitches out of the zone last night, they managed to squeak out a win over the Rays thanks to Delmon Young's big single in the 13th. Of course, that hit came with runners on the corners and nobody out, so you would have thought a big inning was coming, but this was the Twins, and much like the rest of this series they were unable to get anything resembling a timely hit after Young, ending up on the right side of the 2-1 victory thanks to Matt Guerrier's six straight outs.
I do realize I've been a bit hard on this team in this series, and if they can win tomorrow they end up with a split, and you can't really expect anything better on the road against a team like Tampa, but they have just been so close in every game. When two good teams matchup it's often the little things that make the difference, and do you really feel good with Gardy out there being the difference between a win and a loss (hello Guerrier vs. Upton two nights ago). He clearly does some things right, enough to make the playoffs more often than not, but he is not a good game manager. Sometimes that makes the difference. I'm not calling for his head or anything, but sometimes he can really piss me right the hell off. Seriously, go ahead and start keeping track of all the really good game decisions he makes. I'll wait.
2. Is it weird that nobody cares about this? A-Rod finally hit his 600th career home run yesterday afternoon, just a mere 12 games and 46 at-bats since he hit #599. I know everybody hates A-Rod, and for some reason the fans boo whenever he comes to bat, but I've never quite understood that. Because he makes a ton of money? They all make a ton of money. Because he used steroids? They all used steroids. I mean, 600 HR, even in this day and age, is still a pretty special thing. Only six other people have done it, with A-Rod being the youngest to reach that mark, and before you go spouting off about cheaters know that two other members, Bonds and Sosa, are cheaters too. And doesn't A-Rod's cheating seem slightly less grievous somehow than Bonds or Sosa. Bonds went from a great hitter to probably the second best of all-time, while Sosa went from a AAAA player to a home run hitting machine who still sucked. A-Rod, to me, just doesn't seem anywhere near that level. I actually kind of like the guy. I'm not saying I want to go pick out curtains or anything, but if he threw some money at me and there was a little wine and maybe a back rub involved, who knows?
3. There is no way Bud Selig will be able to handle this. You have probably heard the Texas Rangers are having all kinds of financial troubles, which is really too bad since they could make a run at the World Series this year. What you may not have heard is that they are currently up for auction and it's basically Nolan Ryan vs. Mark Cuban. So it's stoic, professional, respects the game ex-stud pitcher and maybe the most famous baseball name in history Nolan Ryan versus trashy, spazzy, do it his own way, insult every in power and get fined every five minutes Mark Cuban. Now I think Cuban would be good for baseball - he would treat his players great, spend on a Yankee-level for payroll, and give MLB its best villain since John Rocker - but I'm guessing Bud Selig disagrees. Of course, this is the same guy who thinks the All-Star game should mean something and almost wrecked the game twice (strike, steroids), so I like my chances.
4. This is what Carlos Gomez should have been. Sigh. Back in 2007, Carlos Gomez was one of the Mets top prospects while Carlos Gonzalez was one of the top prospects in the Arizona system. Both were centerfielders. Both were fast as all hell. Both were toolsy. Both were plus defenders. And neither understood the strike zone. Both have been traded since then (Gonzalez twice), but while we've seen Gomez struggle to become more than a fast, inconsistent player, Gonzalez has become one of the best in the game. After hitting two home runs today he now has a line of .319/.349/.559 with 23 home runs, 72 RBI, and 15 steals, numbers that rank him as #2 in the NL in batting average, #4 in slugging, #6 in RBI, #7 in homers, and #6 in OPS. Take heart though, Carlos Gomez fans (all one of you), most defensive metrics have Go-Go as a much better defender than Gonzalez. Take that! Although Gonzalez did have one unfair advantage - he go to learn from the great Todd Helton.
5. Edwin Jackson made me look like an idiot. Remember how I was all like, "Jackson will suck in the AL he's not even good in the NL" and "Chicago is so stupid they totally got stuck with Jackson" and "I'm smart"? Well I'm still an idiot. Jackson led the White Sox to yet another stupid win, which makes them something like 50-1 in the last two months, pitching seven very good innings, allowing just one run on nine hits and a walk while striking out six. Not a masterful shutdown performance, but pretty solid, even if it was against the suddenly punchless Tigers. Seriously, what is going on with the Sox pitching? It doesn't even matter who they throw out there, they are all Cy Young candidates. I don't know what kind of magic elixir they have in Chicago, but I suspect it has something to do with Dayton wings.
6. Brett Favre is a creepy perv? Favre retirement talk, with him finally coming out and saying it's all about the health of his ankle and that he hasn't made a decision yet, but that's not important. More interesting is that Jenn Sterger (pictured below), famous for having a large rack and being a Florida State fan in a cowboy hat, has told Deadspin that Favre used to send her pictures of his ding-dong when they were both employed by the Jets. Now, I'm all in favor of people sending each other pictures of themselves in various stages of undress, but generally only when it is something both parties are interested in (or the sender is a woman). When it's a dude sending pictures of his crank (or of him holding his crank while wearing crocs) to a chick who isn't interested, not to mention to a not interested chick who is 20 years younger than him, I get a little skeeved out. Like, Pete Rose in his underwear skeeved out. But doesn't this also seem like something Rose would do? Looks like my Favre = Rose comparison just continues to get more and more accurate.
But despite their stunning ability to strike out on pitches out of the zone last night, they managed to squeak out a win over the Rays thanks to Delmon Young's big single in the 13th. Of course, that hit came with runners on the corners and nobody out, so you would have thought a big inning was coming, but this was the Twins, and much like the rest of this series they were unable to get anything resembling a timely hit after Young, ending up on the right side of the 2-1 victory thanks to Matt Guerrier's six straight outs.
I do realize I've been a bit hard on this team in this series, and if they can win tomorrow they end up with a split, and you can't really expect anything better on the road against a team like Tampa, but they have just been so close in every game. When two good teams matchup it's often the little things that make the difference, and do you really feel good with Gardy out there being the difference between a win and a loss (hello Guerrier vs. Upton two nights ago). He clearly does some things right, enough to make the playoffs more often than not, but he is not a good game manager. Sometimes that makes the difference. I'm not calling for his head or anything, but sometimes he can really piss me right the hell off. Seriously, go ahead and start keeping track of all the really good game decisions he makes. I'll wait.
2. Is it weird that nobody cares about this? A-Rod finally hit his 600th career home run yesterday afternoon, just a mere 12 games and 46 at-bats since he hit #599. I know everybody hates A-Rod, and for some reason the fans boo whenever he comes to bat, but I've never quite understood that. Because he makes a ton of money? They all make a ton of money. Because he used steroids? They all used steroids. I mean, 600 HR, even in this day and age, is still a pretty special thing. Only six other people have done it, with A-Rod being the youngest to reach that mark, and before you go spouting off about cheaters know that two other members, Bonds and Sosa, are cheaters too. And doesn't A-Rod's cheating seem slightly less grievous somehow than Bonds or Sosa. Bonds went from a great hitter to probably the second best of all-time, while Sosa went from a AAAA player to a home run hitting machine who still sucked. A-Rod, to me, just doesn't seem anywhere near that level. I actually kind of like the guy. I'm not saying I want to go pick out curtains or anything, but if he threw some money at me and there was a little wine and maybe a back rub involved, who knows?
3. There is no way Bud Selig will be able to handle this. You have probably heard the Texas Rangers are having all kinds of financial troubles, which is really too bad since they could make a run at the World Series this year. What you may not have heard is that they are currently up for auction and it's basically Nolan Ryan vs. Mark Cuban. So it's stoic, professional, respects the game ex-stud pitcher and maybe the most famous baseball name in history Nolan Ryan versus trashy, spazzy, do it his own way, insult every in power and get fined every five minutes Mark Cuban. Now I think Cuban would be good for baseball - he would treat his players great, spend on a Yankee-level for payroll, and give MLB its best villain since John Rocker - but I'm guessing Bud Selig disagrees. Of course, this is the same guy who thinks the All-Star game should mean something and almost wrecked the game twice (strike, steroids), so I like my chances.
4. This is what Carlos Gomez should have been. Sigh. Back in 2007, Carlos Gomez was one of the Mets top prospects while Carlos Gonzalez was one of the top prospects in the Arizona system. Both were centerfielders. Both were fast as all hell. Both were toolsy. Both were plus defenders. And neither understood the strike zone. Both have been traded since then (Gonzalez twice), but while we've seen Gomez struggle to become more than a fast, inconsistent player, Gonzalez has become one of the best in the game. After hitting two home runs today he now has a line of .319/.349/.559 with 23 home runs, 72 RBI, and 15 steals, numbers that rank him as #2 in the NL in batting average, #4 in slugging, #6 in RBI, #7 in homers, and #6 in OPS. Take heart though, Carlos Gomez fans (all one of you), most defensive metrics have Go-Go as a much better defender than Gonzalez. Take that! Although Gonzalez did have one unfair advantage - he go to learn from the great Todd Helton.
5. Edwin Jackson made me look like an idiot. Remember how I was all like, "Jackson will suck in the AL he's not even good in the NL" and "Chicago is so stupid they totally got stuck with Jackson" and "I'm smart"? Well I'm still an idiot. Jackson led the White Sox to yet another stupid win, which makes them something like 50-1 in the last two months, pitching seven very good innings, allowing just one run on nine hits and a walk while striking out six. Not a masterful shutdown performance, but pretty solid, even if it was against the suddenly punchless Tigers. Seriously, what is going on with the Sox pitching? It doesn't even matter who they throw out there, they are all Cy Young candidates. I don't know what kind of magic elixir they have in Chicago, but I suspect it has something to do with Dayton wings.
6. Brett Favre is a creepy perv? Favre retirement talk, with him finally coming out and saying it's all about the health of his ankle and that he hasn't made a decision yet, but that's not important. More interesting is that Jenn Sterger (pictured below), famous for having a large rack and being a Florida State fan in a cowboy hat, has told Deadspin that Favre used to send her pictures of his ding-dong when they were both employed by the Jets. Now, I'm all in favor of people sending each other pictures of themselves in various stages of undress, but generally only when it is something both parties are interested in (or the sender is a woman). When it's a dude sending pictures of his crank (or of him holding his crank while wearing crocs) to a chick who isn't interested, not to mention to a not interested chick who is 20 years younger than him, I get a little skeeved out. Like, Pete Rose in his underwear skeeved out. But doesn't this also seem like something Rose would do? Looks like my Favre = Rose comparison just continues to get more and more accurate.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Six Very Important Things this Morning 8.4.2010
1. Looks like somebody's sick of not being the lead on Sportscenter. You are no doubt aware of this already, but the Pete Rose of football, Brett Favre, decided to make his retirement/non-retirement a story again, this time texting teammates the phrase "this is it" which somehow has been taken to mean he is retiring, despite the fact that I can think of a million other things that phrase could be referring to. Of course, this is the kind of thing you'd think could be easily clarified with a statement, but naturally Debbie Drama has kept silent on the issue.
It's freaking unbelievable. Every year. There were times I thought it might be a media obsession that created this circus every year, but it really is Favre. He completely creates this every where he goes. He's not the down home of the farm good ole boy, he's Paris Hilton. Seriously he makes Lindsay Lohan look shy and Spencer Pratt look media savvy. I'm ready to say good riddance to Captain Look-at-Me. Except that with him they are a Super Bowl contender, without they are a borderline playoff team, so I'll put up with it and then welcome him back with open arms. Oh my god I think I have battered wife syndrome.
2. Well Matt Guerrier certainly lit that candle, didn't he? I know I overreact to every loss. I admit it, and if I continue to write daily you'll see it as I write about each Twins game, but isn't it disheartening to see them just fail against good teams again and again? I mean, they had opportunity after opportunity to take control of that game and let them all pass by. When they finally manage to tie the game on a big and unlikely HR by Butera, Guerrier comes in and gives us one of the ugliest relief outings you'll ever see to give the game away. I'm not suggesting they can't win the division, being just 1.5 back of a very flawed Chicago teams means you're just another streak away from first, and they have the schedule where they could do it, but I am suggesting they have no shot in the playoffs to do anything other than fade away. Again.
When Morneau is back things could change, he's that good, but day by day this thing gets curiouser and curiouser. Perhaps most telling is the fact that Morneau seems to have gone into hiding. Maybe he has a huge lump on his head and he's embarrassed. Maybe he actually had an eyeball fall out when he got kneed. Or maybe things are really, truly bad up in his noggin. Like, really bad. I certainly hope not, because that would be a tragedy not just in the sports world but in the world world as well, but the comparisons to what happened to Corey Koskie are feeling more and more disturbingly apt.
3. I should probably update you on this. Since I talked yesterday about super phenom Carlos Santana getting run over at the plate and destroying his leg the day after I traded for him, you will probably be happy to hear the news that it ended up being just a knee sprain and Santana is now on the 15-day disabled list. Based on how bad that play looked, this is beyond good news for the Indians. Now he should be able to be back in time to shred Twins' pitching and knock them out of the playoffs.
4. What year is this, 2003? The Boston Celtics are about to sign Shaquille O'Neal. Seriously. You would have thought it near impossible for this team to get older, but it looks like they have done it. Seriously though, they easily have the best team of 2003. KG finished second in the MVP voting with Shaq finishing fifth and both were All-NBA first teamers and on the all-defensive team. Paul Pierce was third team All-NBA and was 13th in MVP balloting, with Jermaine O'Neal joining him on that all-NBA third team. Ray Allen was merely an all-star and won the Sportsmanship Award (wait, the what?). All they need to do is fill out their roster with the available Tracy McGrady (4th in MVP voting) and Allen Iverson (6th) and they would dominate. All they'd need is a time machine. Or a Hot Tub and an illegal Russian energy drink. Or even a Delorean and some plutonium. 1.21 Gigawatts!
5. Suck it, Chicago. When the White Sox were unable to consummate an Adam Dunn deal, despite committing self-rape in acquiring Edwin Jackson, their hope was that he would slip through waivers and they could claim him, at which point they could then work out a trade to acquire the services of the big donkey. The Nationals didn't waste any time according to reports, putting Dunn on waivers today, however it doesn't look like Chicago will get a crack at him. According to analysts there's is essentially no way Dunn will slip past both the Rockies and Giants, and since a waived player has to pass through his own league before the teams in the other get a chance, it looks like the Sox will just have to sit there with a limp wiener, the saddest kind of wiener. (and if you aren't a nerd like me and don't quite understand all this waiver stuff, here is a very excellent primer from excellent Twins' blog Twinkie Town).
6. Maybe this is why Favre is retiring again. According to reports, Donkey Kong Sue will sign with the Lions at some point today, putting his name to a contract worth $60 million over five years, with $40 million of that guaranteed. Nice. He did miss four days of practice and whoever the Lions new coach is (Jim Schwartz is his name. Seriously. Just go with Jim Shorts already) is all twisted up about the "missed opportunities" or whatever. Relax Mr. Shorts, I think he'll be ok. As noted poet and wordsmith Allen Iverson once said, "I know it’s important, I honestly do but we’re talking about practice. We’re talking about practice man. We’re talking about practice. We’re talking about practice. We’re not talking about the game. We’re talking about practice." Preach on, brother!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Skoal Vikings and What Not
I haven't lived blogged a Vikings game on here other than the pre-season debut of Favre in purple. Let's remedy this situation. Follow along with me, won't you?
7:24 - Wow, how overproduced is this? Why is Faith Hill singing an ode to football on NBC? Why are we 9 minutes past official kick-off time and still waiting? Is Sunday Night Football always like this? Thank god I haven't watched very often. This whole production makes Dick Vitale look tame.
7:25 - Plus, they've been on the air for 25 minutes now and not a single mention of the passing of Brittany Murphy? What happened to a little common decency and a little bit of respect? One of the greatest actresses of our generation, and these meatheads can't stop talking about Brett Favre's fanny long enough to recognize a tragic day. I'm expecting the Vikings to be wearing a patch today. Either "BM" or some sort of tribute to her role in 8 Mile will do. Gotta be something, right?
7:30 - Game still hasn't started. Now they're interviewing Childress, who, as usual, is really personable and friendy and just a funny, engaging guy. He's really like the Dane Cook of football coaches. Also, did you know Brittany Murphy guest starred in four episodes of Blossom? Can you imagine a Blossom, Brittany, Six sandwich? Like, whoa.
7:31 - Kickoff. Carolina ball. I'm pretty bummed we aren't getting Delhomme here. I can't even wrap my head around how many interceptions he'd throw against the Vikes defense.
7:33 - In my keeper league which I didn't even make the playoffs in, Snake and Bogart are playing in the conference finals and are going down to the wire. The Adrian Peterson vs. Deangelo Williams matchup in this game is huge for them. Carolina goes 3-and-out, Deangelo got about four yards. That's worth zero points.
7:35 - A catch by Kleinsasser? Carolina might as well pack it in, this one is pretty much over.
7:37 - Favre gets sacked on third down, and now the Vikes will have to punt. This game is boring as hell. There's a reason I try to go to the bar to watch football games.
7:39 - So I was poking around kenpom.com and looking at the stats (From the Barn did this last week as well a bit), and I came across the fact that Al Nolen is 8th in the country in steal percentage, stealing the ball on 6.11% of the opponents possessions when he is in the game, which is insane and the second best number of any major conference player behind Andy Rautins at 6.77%. And guess who is second in the Big Ten at 5.23%? Damian Johnson. Last year those two finished second and third behind Chris Kramer, and two years ago they finished 1st and 3rd. There's a reason the Gopher defense has been so good these last three years. I'm suddenly starting to worry that we're spoiled. Also while I was typing all of that the Panthers went 3-and-out again and then Favre took a sack instead of throwing the ball away. I am not a purist. I hate low-scoring games.
7:47 - Vikings punt after both Favre and AP fall down. What kind of grass we working with here, ice?
7:50 - Viking sack on that QB whose name I forget by Jared Allen which causes a fumble which the Vikings refuse to recover once again. I've never seen a team so terrible and picking up a fumble. Mark my words, this is going to cost them big at some point, probalby in the playoffs. Carolina punts once again, and this time Reynaud (Snacks' guy) takes it all the way back to the Carolina 30 so maybe we'll finally get some scoring. This game is starting to resemble marriage.
7:55 - Nevermind. They do nothing at all with it and then Longwell misses a 39-yarder. Ugh. Oof. I need a beer or a shot. Maybe both. I kind of feel like Anthony Tucker.
7:59 - Carolina finally manages a first down. Be still my heart. Check that, there's another one. Now we're rolling Matty Moore, now we're rolling.
8:01 - Wow, Muhsin Muhammed still plays. I wasn't aware of that. And it's another first down. Suddenly the Panther offensive line is opening up gaping holes and all their receivers have become uncoverable. It's like that missed field goal has destroyed the defense. Must be some kind of built-in momentum meter or something. It explains a lot about 1998.
8:05 - They just showed a graphic that Steve Smith only has a single one hundred yard receiving game this year after leading the NFL the last three years. Man, how awesome would it be if you were in a keeper league and traded him at the start of this season? Genius move.
8:08 - Touchdown Carolina on a pass to a wide open Brad Hoover in the flat, because Hoover is the kind of guy who always seems to be open in the flat. It's like when the Patriots would bring in Mike Vrabel to block on the goal line, you knew damn well he was going out for a pass, and yet he was open every time. Ridiculous. Also ridiculous is that they blocked the extra point. That's weird.
8:11 - I don't know if you saw this a few weeks ago, but Wofford came to East Lansing to play Michigan State. The reason that is a big deal is that Noah Dahlman (formerly of Braham High School here in the great state of Minnesota) attends Wofford, while his brother Isaiah (also of Braham) spurned the Gophers to play for Sparty. Isaiah, you might remember, was ranked the 112th best player in the class of 2005 and was kind of a big deal, but he never gave the Gophers serious consideration. Noah was a year younger, wasn't ranked or thought of as a national prospect at all, received no interest from the Gophers and ended up at Wofford. Well, in their big head-to-head battle, Noah scored 19 points and grabbed four rebounds, while Isaiah, usually a bench warmer but given the start by Izzo for the whole brothers thing, scored a whole two points in twelve minutes. The Spartans won, but I think we know which brother really won this thing.
8:16 - Vikes respond to the challenge in Gopher-like fashion by going three and out.
8:19 - Vikings nearly get a safety, but due to a display of tackling that can only be described as "not tackling" J. Stewart picks up about 8 yards instead. No matter. They still have to punt. There have been a lot of punts this game. It's like the opposite of playing Madden.
8:20 - Deangelo out with an ankle injury, his return is questionable. Ouch Snake. I'd feel bad for you, but last year his five TD performance stole the championship from me, so you can go F yourself.
8:21 - There's some Bud Light commerical what that I just saw where some dude is all tuxedoed out for a wedding and to put the boutaineer on the chick uses a nail gun. It's not really that funny or anything, but while she's doing that there is a little message at the bottom of the screen that says "Do Not Attempt." Now that's funny.
8:27 - AP scores from about the 3 despite being stood up and almost completely stoped by two different Panthers. This guy is just unreal. Vikings take a 7-6 lead with the extra point. Seriously, Peterson is like playing Tecmo Bowl with Christian Okoye when he's in excellent condition - he's just looking for guys to run into and bounce at this point.
8:30 - If I had to pick my final four right now, I'd say Kansas, Texas, Kentucky, and West Virginia, but I am pretty sure that will change. I still like Cincy, Duke, Michigan State, Villanova, Purdue, Mississippi State, UCONN, Georgia Tech, Syracuse, and Ohio State (when Turner gets back if he's the same player) to all have a chance as well. I am also really liking this New Mexico team, but they haven't and won't play any elite level talent, so it's tough to get a true read. Wins over Cal and Texas A&M are nice, and they still play Texas Tech and Dayton, but it's tough to predict how good they actually are.
8:38 - Oh crap. One of the Vikings' d-backs just tossed Steve Smith to the ground a little after the whistle. No penalty or anything, but Smith got up talking at the guy, who made the world's biggest mistake and talked back. I am now expecting Smith to have a monster second half. Also can anybody explain to me why Childress wouldn't use a timeout with 45 seconds left or so on Carolina's fourth down so the Vikings would get the ball back with a little time remaining? I'm pretty sure football's Pete Rose can drive them down into field goal range with that kind of time. Especially now that Carolina picked up a penalty to take them out of field goal range and are now going to run a hail mary rather than punt? And what if they missed? Vikings would have gotten the ball at their own 40 with 40 seconds to get twenty-five yards. It turned out not to matter (the hail mary failed) but once agian Childress fails to understand simple strategy. Between him and Brewster the football coaching IQ in this town is like seventy-four.
8:58 - Sorry I'm a bit late getting back, Mrs. W was watching some christmas crap movie about some broad who was going to lose her house because she was behind on the payments or something because she was probably either dumb or lazy, and then the whole town bands together to buy her house for her or whatever - essentially a ripoff of that one Christmas movie everybody loves but I've never actually seen. The one about Clarence the angel or something. I don't really know, like I said, I haven't seen it. It has the guy from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington in it. That one. I am back in time to see I missed another Viking three-and-out. Doesn't this team score 30 points every game? Lame.
9:05 - You're never going to believe this, but Carolina is punting. God, the one boring game the Vikings have played this year, the only game where playing offense is merely a rumor, and it's the one I pick to live blog. And it's not like I can just quit. I also can't just say forget it and not publish this post because I've already put too much work into it. Damn Vikings.
9:10 - They just flashed up a graphic telling us that Sid Rice is now the first Viking receiver since 2003 to have at least 70 catches in a season. 70 catches? Since 2003? That is just sad. That's just over 4 catches per game, and the Vikings haven't had anybody who could manage it? That's embarrassing. Although I suppose the level of QB play might have a little something to do with it, speaking of embarrassing. Also embarrassing - yet another Viking punt.
9:15 - So is this Avatar thing any good then or what? I'm kind of a dork, but not dorky enough to give a bad movie a pass just because it's Sci-Fi/Fantasy (other than Phantom Menace) and I really don't want to waste like three hours of my time if it's going to suck. Better or worse than watching Jumper twice? Speaking of things that are less entertaining than Jumper, Carolina is punting again.
9:20 - I might be in a death pool this year. That's where you pick 13 people who you think might die in 2010, then if they do die you get points equal to (100-their age), so like if I had picked Brittany Murphy in 2009 (*makes sign of cross*, rest in peace) she would have been worth 78 points. Anybody have any good ideas? Speaking of death, the Vikings finally start moving the ball and then Sid Rice fumbles and Carolina recovers. Oof.
9:25 - Dear god, another punt. I'm starting to wish that homo-riffic christmas movie was back on.
9:26 - Vikings average yardage per game this season = 379. So far tonight = 137. This is like if you went to a Globetrotters game and showed up at the one time the Generals decided to say "screw it" and tried to win. Do you remember when the Trotters played the Gophers several years ago and a 400-pound Oliver Miller destroyed them? That was interesting. Not interesting: another Vikings punt, which just happened. No, I'm not kidding.
9:32 - Touchdown Steve Smith. Told you. Oh nevermind, coming back because of a holding penalty. That one actually had a direct affect on the play (dude grabbed Kevin Williams, buying the QB just enough time to get the throw off). Probably just means Smith will score from further out.
9:37 - Al Michaels doesn't believe that was holding. In related news, Al Michaels is an idiot. And Steve Smith just caught the TD from about fifty yards on a play that could possibly have been offensive interference, but the ref was probably afraid that if he called it Smith would pop him. See people, I told you. You just can't talk trash at him. He feeds off of it the way Freddy Krueger feeds off of fear. Just be polite, leave him alone, and be meek and mild and he'll just fade away.
9:41 - They just cut to a shot of Smith before the second half started and he's yelling and ranting and carrying on like a crazy person and just generally acting like the guy you see walking down the street downtown who makes you cross over to the other side because you're terrified to get within ten feet of him. I love that crazy son of a bitch.
9:43 - Collinsworth, "Favre doesn't just throw it in the first hole, he waits and throws it in the second hole." I'm giggling.
9:48 - The DirectTV box was just kind enough to tell me that although our TV is a 1080p level of HD, we had our box set only to 480p and we should switch it - so we did. Whoa. That explains why I was kind of thinking that HD was overrated. I no longer have those feelings. Thank you DirectTV box, I don't even want to imagine how long it would have taken me to figure that out on my own. By the way, the Vikings just punted.
9:51 - Steve Smith with about a forty yard gain down inside the five after catching a shorty and deaking Winfield out of his shorts. He's fired up. J-Stewart folows that up with a TD run where he broke fifteen tackles and gained just three yards. Nice job, overrated defense. Vikes now down 19-7 and continue to refuse to gain any yardage. On an unrelated note, The Devil Wears Prada was a decent movie.
9:59 - The Vikings come up huge, answering the Panthers' back-to-back scores with a punt.
10:00 - By the way, the Mariners are just killing it this offseason. Did you see they just picked up Milton Bradley for Carlos Silva? Getting anything for Silva has got to be considered a steal, and Bradley is usually a hell of a player when he keeps his head on straight and doesn't go all Carl Everett-y. So they've picked up Bradley, Cliff Lee, and Chone Figgins without giving up anything. Wow.
10:07 - Smith with another big catch, this one is being reviewed to see if his feet were in. They were. That gives him 157 yards for the game, mostly in the second half. Thanks a lot, guy who talked back at him. I wish I had paid attention to who it was.
10:10 - Winfield misses a tackle on some dumb white receiver who ends up rambling all the way down to the five. This is not a good night to be Antoine Winfield. Or any member of the offense. Or a blogger who picked tonight's game to live blog.
10:12 - Jonathan Stewart with the receiving touchdown this time. Too bad it's not Deangelo, huh Snake? You still suck.
10:13 - Crap, I just read Garrett Atkins got picked up by the Orioles for $4 million for one year (plus incentives) with an option for a second year (and a $500K buyout). Why the hell wouldn't the Twins do that? That would have been a perfect deal for him and for them. One move for J.J. Hardy is not enough. You have to do more.
10:17 - Favre picked off. That mercifully ends any reason for me to continue watching this. Week in Review will be slightly delayed since I did this stupid crap, but I'll have it up today at some point.
7:24 - Wow, how overproduced is this? Why is Faith Hill singing an ode to football on NBC? Why are we 9 minutes past official kick-off time and still waiting? Is Sunday Night Football always like this? Thank god I haven't watched very often. This whole production makes Dick Vitale look tame.
7:25 - Plus, they've been on the air for 25 minutes now and not a single mention of the passing of Brittany Murphy? What happened to a little common decency and a little bit of respect? One of the greatest actresses of our generation, and these meatheads can't stop talking about Brett Favre's fanny long enough to recognize a tragic day. I'm expecting the Vikings to be wearing a patch today. Either "BM" or some sort of tribute to her role in 8 Mile will do. Gotta be something, right?
7:30 - Game still hasn't started. Now they're interviewing Childress, who, as usual, is really personable and friendy and just a funny, engaging guy. He's really like the Dane Cook of football coaches. Also, did you know Brittany Murphy guest starred in four episodes of Blossom? Can you imagine a Blossom, Brittany, Six sandwich? Like, whoa.
7:31 - Kickoff. Carolina ball. I'm pretty bummed we aren't getting Delhomme here. I can't even wrap my head around how many interceptions he'd throw against the Vikes defense.
7:33 - In my keeper league which I didn't even make the playoffs in, Snake and Bogart are playing in the conference finals and are going down to the wire. The Adrian Peterson vs. Deangelo Williams matchup in this game is huge for them. Carolina goes 3-and-out, Deangelo got about four yards. That's worth zero points.
7:35 - A catch by Kleinsasser? Carolina might as well pack it in, this one is pretty much over.
7:37 - Favre gets sacked on third down, and now the Vikes will have to punt. This game is boring as hell. There's a reason I try to go to the bar to watch football games.
7:39 - So I was poking around kenpom.com and looking at the stats (From the Barn did this last week as well a bit), and I came across the fact that Al Nolen is 8th in the country in steal percentage, stealing the ball on 6.11% of the opponents possessions when he is in the game, which is insane and the second best number of any major conference player behind Andy Rautins at 6.77%. And guess who is second in the Big Ten at 5.23%? Damian Johnson. Last year those two finished second and third behind Chris Kramer, and two years ago they finished 1st and 3rd. There's a reason the Gopher defense has been so good these last three years. I'm suddenly starting to worry that we're spoiled. Also while I was typing all of that the Panthers went 3-and-out again and then Favre took a sack instead of throwing the ball away. I am not a purist. I hate low-scoring games.
7:47 - Vikings punt after both Favre and AP fall down. What kind of grass we working with here, ice?
7:50 - Viking sack on that QB whose name I forget by Jared Allen which causes a fumble which the Vikings refuse to recover once again. I've never seen a team so terrible and picking up a fumble. Mark my words, this is going to cost them big at some point, probalby in the playoffs. Carolina punts once again, and this time Reynaud (Snacks' guy) takes it all the way back to the Carolina 30 so maybe we'll finally get some scoring. This game is starting to resemble marriage.
7:55 - Nevermind. They do nothing at all with it and then Longwell misses a 39-yarder. Ugh. Oof. I need a beer or a shot. Maybe both. I kind of feel like Anthony Tucker.
7:59 - Carolina finally manages a first down. Be still my heart. Check that, there's another one. Now we're rolling Matty Moore, now we're rolling.
8:01 - Wow, Muhsin Muhammed still plays. I wasn't aware of that. And it's another first down. Suddenly the Panther offensive line is opening up gaping holes and all their receivers have become uncoverable. It's like that missed field goal has destroyed the defense. Must be some kind of built-in momentum meter or something. It explains a lot about 1998.
8:05 - They just showed a graphic that Steve Smith only has a single one hundred yard receiving game this year after leading the NFL the last three years. Man, how awesome would it be if you were in a keeper league and traded him at the start of this season? Genius move.
8:08 - Touchdown Carolina on a pass to a wide open Brad Hoover in the flat, because Hoover is the kind of guy who always seems to be open in the flat. It's like when the Patriots would bring in Mike Vrabel to block on the goal line, you knew damn well he was going out for a pass, and yet he was open every time. Ridiculous. Also ridiculous is that they blocked the extra point. That's weird.
8:11 - I don't know if you saw this a few weeks ago, but Wofford came to East Lansing to play Michigan State. The reason that is a big deal is that Noah Dahlman (formerly of Braham High School here in the great state of Minnesota) attends Wofford, while his brother Isaiah (also of Braham) spurned the Gophers to play for Sparty. Isaiah, you might remember, was ranked the 112th best player in the class of 2005 and was kind of a big deal, but he never gave the Gophers serious consideration. Noah was a year younger, wasn't ranked or thought of as a national prospect at all, received no interest from the Gophers and ended up at Wofford. Well, in their big head-to-head battle, Noah scored 19 points and grabbed four rebounds, while Isaiah, usually a bench warmer but given the start by Izzo for the whole brothers thing, scored a whole two points in twelve minutes. The Spartans won, but I think we know which brother really won this thing.
8:16 - Vikes respond to the challenge in Gopher-like fashion by going three and out.
8:19 - Vikings nearly get a safety, but due to a display of tackling that can only be described as "not tackling" J. Stewart picks up about 8 yards instead. No matter. They still have to punt. There have been a lot of punts this game. It's like the opposite of playing Madden.
8:20 - Deangelo out with an ankle injury, his return is questionable. Ouch Snake. I'd feel bad for you, but last year his five TD performance stole the championship from me, so you can go F yourself.
8:21 - There's some Bud Light commerical what that I just saw where some dude is all tuxedoed out for a wedding and to put the boutaineer on the chick uses a nail gun. It's not really that funny or anything, but while she's doing that there is a little message at the bottom of the screen that says "Do Not Attempt." Now that's funny.
8:27 - AP scores from about the 3 despite being stood up and almost completely stoped by two different Panthers. This guy is just unreal. Vikings take a 7-6 lead with the extra point. Seriously, Peterson is like playing Tecmo Bowl with Christian Okoye when he's in excellent condition - he's just looking for guys to run into and bounce at this point.
8:30 - If I had to pick my final four right now, I'd say Kansas, Texas, Kentucky, and West Virginia, but I am pretty sure that will change. I still like Cincy, Duke, Michigan State, Villanova, Purdue, Mississippi State, UCONN, Georgia Tech, Syracuse, and Ohio State (when Turner gets back if he's the same player) to all have a chance as well. I am also really liking this New Mexico team, but they haven't and won't play any elite level talent, so it's tough to get a true read. Wins over Cal and Texas A&M are nice, and they still play Texas Tech and Dayton, but it's tough to predict how good they actually are.
8:38 - Oh crap. One of the Vikings' d-backs just tossed Steve Smith to the ground a little after the whistle. No penalty or anything, but Smith got up talking at the guy, who made the world's biggest mistake and talked back. I am now expecting Smith to have a monster second half. Also can anybody explain to me why Childress wouldn't use a timeout with 45 seconds left or so on Carolina's fourth down so the Vikings would get the ball back with a little time remaining? I'm pretty sure football's Pete Rose can drive them down into field goal range with that kind of time. Especially now that Carolina picked up a penalty to take them out of field goal range and are now going to run a hail mary rather than punt? And what if they missed? Vikings would have gotten the ball at their own 40 with 40 seconds to get twenty-five yards. It turned out not to matter (the hail mary failed) but once agian Childress fails to understand simple strategy. Between him and Brewster the football coaching IQ in this town is like seventy-four.
8:58 - Sorry I'm a bit late getting back, Mrs. W was watching some christmas crap movie about some broad who was going to lose her house because she was behind on the payments or something because she was probably either dumb or lazy, and then the whole town bands together to buy her house for her or whatever - essentially a ripoff of that one Christmas movie everybody loves but I've never actually seen. The one about Clarence the angel or something. I don't really know, like I said, I haven't seen it. It has the guy from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington in it. That one. I am back in time to see I missed another Viking three-and-out. Doesn't this team score 30 points every game? Lame.
9:05 - You're never going to believe this, but Carolina is punting. God, the one boring game the Vikings have played this year, the only game where playing offense is merely a rumor, and it's the one I pick to live blog. And it's not like I can just quit. I also can't just say forget it and not publish this post because I've already put too much work into it. Damn Vikings.
9:10 - They just flashed up a graphic telling us that Sid Rice is now the first Viking receiver since 2003 to have at least 70 catches in a season. 70 catches? Since 2003? That is just sad. That's just over 4 catches per game, and the Vikings haven't had anybody who could manage it? That's embarrassing. Although I suppose the level of QB play might have a little something to do with it, speaking of embarrassing. Also embarrassing - yet another Viking punt.
9:15 - So is this Avatar thing any good then or what? I'm kind of a dork, but not dorky enough to give a bad movie a pass just because it's Sci-Fi/Fantasy (other than Phantom Menace) and I really don't want to waste like three hours of my time if it's going to suck. Better or worse than watching Jumper twice? Speaking of things that are less entertaining than Jumper, Carolina is punting again.
9:20 - I might be in a death pool this year. That's where you pick 13 people who you think might die in 2010, then if they do die you get points equal to (100-their age), so like if I had picked Brittany Murphy in 2009 (*makes sign of cross*, rest in peace) she would have been worth 78 points. Anybody have any good ideas? Speaking of death, the Vikings finally start moving the ball and then Sid Rice fumbles and Carolina recovers. Oof.
9:25 - Dear god, another punt. I'm starting to wish that homo-riffic christmas movie was back on.
9:26 - Vikings average yardage per game this season = 379. So far tonight = 137. This is like if you went to a Globetrotters game and showed up at the one time the Generals decided to say "screw it" and tried to win. Do you remember when the Trotters played the Gophers several years ago and a 400-pound Oliver Miller destroyed them? That was interesting. Not interesting: another Vikings punt, which just happened. No, I'm not kidding.
9:32 - Touchdown Steve Smith. Told you. Oh nevermind, coming back because of a holding penalty. That one actually had a direct affect on the play (dude grabbed Kevin Williams, buying the QB just enough time to get the throw off). Probably just means Smith will score from further out.
9:37 - Al Michaels doesn't believe that was holding. In related news, Al Michaels is an idiot. And Steve Smith just caught the TD from about fifty yards on a play that could possibly have been offensive interference, but the ref was probably afraid that if he called it Smith would pop him. See people, I told you. You just can't talk trash at him. He feeds off of it the way Freddy Krueger feeds off of fear. Just be polite, leave him alone, and be meek and mild and he'll just fade away.
9:41 - They just cut to a shot of Smith before the second half started and he's yelling and ranting and carrying on like a crazy person and just generally acting like the guy you see walking down the street downtown who makes you cross over to the other side because you're terrified to get within ten feet of him. I love that crazy son of a bitch.
9:43 - Collinsworth, "Favre doesn't just throw it in the first hole, he waits and throws it in the second hole." I'm giggling.
9:48 - The DirectTV box was just kind enough to tell me that although our TV is a 1080p level of HD, we had our box set only to 480p and we should switch it - so we did. Whoa. That explains why I was kind of thinking that HD was overrated. I no longer have those feelings. Thank you DirectTV box, I don't even want to imagine how long it would have taken me to figure that out on my own. By the way, the Vikings just punted.
9:51 - Steve Smith with about a forty yard gain down inside the five after catching a shorty and deaking Winfield out of his shorts. He's fired up. J-Stewart folows that up with a TD run where he broke fifteen tackles and gained just three yards. Nice job, overrated defense. Vikes now down 19-7 and continue to refuse to gain any yardage. On an unrelated note, The Devil Wears Prada was a decent movie.
9:59 - The Vikings come up huge, answering the Panthers' back-to-back scores with a punt.
10:00 - By the way, the Mariners are just killing it this offseason. Did you see they just picked up Milton Bradley for Carlos Silva? Getting anything for Silva has got to be considered a steal, and Bradley is usually a hell of a player when he keeps his head on straight and doesn't go all Carl Everett-y. So they've picked up Bradley, Cliff Lee, and Chone Figgins without giving up anything. Wow.
10:07 - Smith with another big catch, this one is being reviewed to see if his feet were in. They were. That gives him 157 yards for the game, mostly in the second half. Thanks a lot, guy who talked back at him. I wish I had paid attention to who it was.
10:10 - Winfield misses a tackle on some dumb white receiver who ends up rambling all the way down to the five. This is not a good night to be Antoine Winfield. Or any member of the offense. Or a blogger who picked tonight's game to live blog.
10:12 - Jonathan Stewart with the receiving touchdown this time. Too bad it's not Deangelo, huh Snake? You still suck.
10:13 - Crap, I just read Garrett Atkins got picked up by the Orioles for $4 million for one year (plus incentives) with an option for a second year (and a $500K buyout). Why the hell wouldn't the Twins do that? That would have been a perfect deal for him and for them. One move for J.J. Hardy is not enough. You have to do more.
10:17 - Favre picked off. That mercifully ends any reason for me to continue watching this. Week in Review will be slightly delayed since I did this stupid crap, but I'll have it up today at some point.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Weekend Review - 9/14/2009
This was a really good weekend. Gopher football, NFL season starts, Twins are still playing, and the golf tournaments still matter and aren't the weird World Series of Golf crap and other made for TV events. Other than college basketball season and specifically March Madness this might be my favorite time of the year. If only we could get some nice, crisp fall weather instead of this sweltering heat. Anyway, let's get on with it.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Michigan Football. It's nice to have a chance to write something positive about a Big Ten team, and Notre Dame is full of a bunch of queers, so it's great to see Michigan knock of the Irish 38-34 to break into the top 25. There wasn't a whole lot of defense in the game, and it would have been a lot of fun to watch if the stupid people at the stupid bar would have been able to figure out how to change their satellite to a local channel. Seriously, I thought all that local channels business was straightened out in like, 1999. I know that everyone I know with satellite has their local channels as part of their regular package, so there is no complicated switching of satellite feeds or anything. And they didn't even know how to do it. Yet they advertised drink specials during Vikings' games, which are on local television stations. I should have gone back during the Vikes game to see if they had that crap figured out yet. Arg. Oh, and your friend Micheal Floyd caught 7 balls for 131 yards and a score. It seems he's pretty good. Like the opposite of that stupid bar.
2. Adrian Peterson. It is just sick how good this guy is. Just another how hum day at the office, compiling 180 rushing yards and 3 scores. It's just so fun to watch him. He has the power to barrel right through people, the quickness to make them miss, and the speed to run away from them. Favre and Harvin both looked good yesterday too. Harvin is going to be a handful, running and catching. He has a world of talent (second only to Hakeem Nicks of the receivers in ths class). It's clear that Favre's lack of practice has had an effect on his chemistry with the wideouts, since a couple times he threw to an empty area because the receiver went somewhere else, but that can still happen even with a full practice schedule (see Brady Quinn's interception) and should get better with time. If Favre can contain himself and play just like that all year, there's no reason this isn't a Super Bowl team.
3. Drew Brees. Talk about having your way with someone, Brees violated the Lions yesterday, basically whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, finishing the game with 356 yards and 6, yes 6, touchdowns. One of those TDs went to Robert Meachem, who I told you was going to break out this year. Also Mike Bell had 28 carries for 143 yards (a 5.1 ypc average) while Reggie Bush rushed 7 times for just 14 yards. Seriously you guys, Reggie Bush is a terrible running back.
4. Brian Duensing. I am totally falling in love with this guy. Another start, and another gem, he pitched 7 shut-out innings on Sunday to help the Twins miraculously actually win a game. This runs his totals as a starter (5 games) to an ERA of with a WHIP of . Just incredible. He's the Francisco Liriano we thought we had but didn't but now do again because of Duensing. It's tough to find a gem in this lost season of perpetual disappointment. Seriously, how many Twins are you happy with this year? Mauer, Morales, Duensing, Nathan, Span, Kubel, and Mijares? Tough to put Morneau or Cuddyer in there despite their good numbers. Their dueling late season slumps haven't exactly left a nice impression. Anyway, Duensing is a stud, and is now 3-0 with a 2.00 ERA and a 1.14 WHIP as a starter. A quick check of BABIP, K/BB, and GB% tell me this probably isn't a fluke. If the Sidler was still alive, I'd ask him to do some nerd analysis on this kid, because he looks like the real deal to me.
5. TCF Bank Stadium. The team won, and put out a very good defensive effort against Air Force, a team that runs an offense that can be hard to stop, but I was more impressed by the new stadium. There were a few issues, such as lines of 30 minutes + for concessions (and longer at halftime), souvenir stands running out of t-shirts, and both Dino's Gyros and Subway stations running out of food, but overall it was a fantastic experience. It was the first major sporting event I have ever seen in Minnesota out doors, and that's truly how sports should be. Our seats were in the first row of the upper deck, visitor's side, on the 35 yard line, so we had a great view but it looked like the seating was laid out perfectly, and you would have a great view no matter where you were sitting. I'd like to write more about it, but really you just have to experience it yourself. The best way I can sum it up is that it finally felt like watching a real college football game. If you can snag a ticket, I highly recommend it.
Of course, the real highlight of the night was listening to some 70-year old man say if he ever saw Joel Maturi he would punch him in the face. . It seems he's had season tickets for 56 years, and lost his spot on the 50 yard line and is now on the 15, as we learned on the bus ride from a local establishment to the game. He was not very happy about it.
WHO SUCKED
1. Michgan State Football. I don't live in Michigan, but even I know that when you are Michigan or Michigan State, you don't lose to a directional school - yet that's what Sparty did on Saturday, falling 29-27 to the Chippewas of Central Michigan (aka Chris Kamen U). The Spartans certainly did everything they could to lose. CMU scored with just 32 seconds left in the game to bring the score to 27-26, then elected to go for the win and the 2 point conversion. They failed. Michigan State then botched the recovery of the onside kick, giving the Chippewas another chance. They quickly drove into position for a 47 yard game winning field goal - which was missed. But wait. Sparty was offsides. Given another chance, the CMU kicker drilled the 42 yarder for the upset and the embarrassment. Seriously, this conference is awful. There's no reason the Gophers can't finish in the top 4. Other than the fact that they aren't very good either.
2. Terrelle Pryor. Good god is this guy terrible. The numbers are awful (11-25 for 177 and a pick passing, 10 carries for 36 yards rushing), but they don't even tell the whole story. Ohio State had every chance to win that game and get the "can't beat the good teams" monkey off both their and the Big Ten Conference's back, but Pryor just couldn't make a play when they needed him to. He's not a very good passer, is a tentative runner, and is a deer in headlights against a good, fast defense. Luckily for him, there aren't many of those in the Big Ten so I expect he and the Buckeyes will have a good year once again, and then get destroyed in whatever bowl game they end up in. I also want to admit here that I have no idea why people use "in a minute" as slang to mean "a long time." Like as in, "I haven't seen you in a minute" would mean I haven't seen you in a long time. That makes no sense. A minute is actually a very short unit of time. I think it's the stupidest slang I've seen since saying "hella-" before everything. If you do this, stop.
3. Oklahoma State Football. Remember last week when everybody was all like, wow Oklahoma State what a huge win over Georgia they must be really good lets rank them fifth and put them into the conversation for National Champion contenders? Well they flushed all that right down the toilet by inexplicably losing to Houston. The Cowboys came out flat, falling behind 24-7 at halftime. As good teams tend to do, they came roaring back with three unanswered touchdowns to take a 28-24 lead. Then, as good teams usually don't do, they pissed it all right away, letting Houston score three times in the fourth quarter including an INT returned for a touchdown when OSU was trying to drive for a winning socre to seal the deal and the 45-35 Cougar win. So we don't have to worry about them winning a National Championship anymore. And Dez Bryant is still a superstud.
4. Cincinnati Bengals. Remember how I predicted the Bengals would be a playoff team this year? Nevermind. They couldn't even beat the shitty Broncos at home, and not even after taking the lead on a Cedric Benson TD run with just 38 seconds left in the game. Then, knowing full well that the Broncos were basically going to have to chuck the ball deep, they somehow managed to let Brandon Stokely catch a deflected pass and run 87 yards to win the game. Seriously I have no idea how somebody could let that happen, but then again, it's the Bengals. Really not a shock.
5. Jake Delhomme. Yuck. Wasn't this guy actually pretty good a few short years ago? And now he's an absolute trainwreck, as shown by yesterday's outing - possibly the worst game by a QB in the history of football. Jake went 7/17 for just 73 yards and threw four picks, and was so bad that not only did the Panthers bring in Luke McCown, they also brought in Matt Moore (who?). I really wish I would have watched the game, just to see what that kind of performance looks like. You can go ahead and scratch the Panthers off your Super Bowl contenders list - which I already told you to do. God I'm brilliant.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Michigan Football. It's nice to have a chance to write something positive about a Big Ten team, and Notre Dame is full of a bunch of queers, so it's great to see Michigan knock of the Irish 38-34 to break into the top 25. There wasn't a whole lot of defense in the game, and it would have been a lot of fun to watch if the stupid people at the stupid bar would have been able to figure out how to change their satellite to a local channel. Seriously, I thought all that local channels business was straightened out in like, 1999. I know that everyone I know with satellite has their local channels as part of their regular package, so there is no complicated switching of satellite feeds or anything. And they didn't even know how to do it. Yet they advertised drink specials during Vikings' games, which are on local television stations. I should have gone back during the Vikes game to see if they had that crap figured out yet. Arg. Oh, and your friend Micheal Floyd caught 7 balls for 131 yards and a score. It seems he's pretty good. Like the opposite of that stupid bar.
2. Adrian Peterson. It is just sick how good this guy is. Just another how hum day at the office, compiling 180 rushing yards and 3 scores. It's just so fun to watch him. He has the power to barrel right through people, the quickness to make them miss, and the speed to run away from them. Favre and Harvin both looked good yesterday too. Harvin is going to be a handful, running and catching. He has a world of talent (second only to Hakeem Nicks of the receivers in ths class). It's clear that Favre's lack of practice has had an effect on his chemistry with the wideouts, since a couple times he threw to an empty area because the receiver went somewhere else, but that can still happen even with a full practice schedule (see Brady Quinn's interception) and should get better with time. If Favre can contain himself and play just like that all year, there's no reason this isn't a Super Bowl team.
3. Drew Brees. Talk about having your way with someone, Brees violated the Lions yesterday, basically whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, finishing the game with 356 yards and 6, yes 6, touchdowns. One of those TDs went to Robert Meachem, who I told you was going to break out this year. Also Mike Bell had 28 carries for 143 yards (a 5.1 ypc average) while Reggie Bush rushed 7 times for just 14 yards. Seriously you guys, Reggie Bush is a terrible running back.
4. Brian Duensing. I am totally falling in love with this guy. Another start, and another gem, he pitched 7 shut-out innings on Sunday to help the Twins miraculously actually win a game. This runs his totals as a starter (5 games) to an ERA of with a WHIP of . Just incredible. He's the Francisco Liriano we thought we had but didn't but now do again because of Duensing. It's tough to find a gem in this lost season of perpetual disappointment. Seriously, how many Twins are you happy with this year? Mauer, Morales, Duensing, Nathan, Span, Kubel, and Mijares? Tough to put Morneau or Cuddyer in there despite their good numbers. Their dueling late season slumps haven't exactly left a nice impression. Anyway, Duensing is a stud, and is now 3-0 with a 2.00 ERA and a 1.14 WHIP as a starter. A quick check of BABIP, K/BB, and GB% tell me this probably isn't a fluke. If the Sidler was still alive, I'd ask him to do some nerd analysis on this kid, because he looks like the real deal to me.
5. TCF Bank Stadium. The team won, and put out a very good defensive effort against Air Force, a team that runs an offense that can be hard to stop, but I was more impressed by the new stadium. There were a few issues, such as lines of 30 minutes + for concessions (and longer at halftime), souvenir stands running out of t-shirts, and both Dino's Gyros and Subway stations running out of food, but overall it was a fantastic experience. It was the first major sporting event I have ever seen in Minnesota out doors, and that's truly how sports should be. Our seats were in the first row of the upper deck, visitor's side, on the 35 yard line, so we had a great view but it looked like the seating was laid out perfectly, and you would have a great view no matter where you were sitting. I'd like to write more about it, but really you just have to experience it yourself. The best way I can sum it up is that it finally felt like watching a real college football game. If you can snag a ticket, I highly recommend it.
Of course, the real highlight of the night was listening to some 70-year old man say if he ever saw Joel Maturi he would punch him in the face. . It seems he's had season tickets for 56 years, and lost his spot on the 50 yard line and is now on the 15, as we learned on the bus ride from a local establishment to the game. He was not very happy about it.
WHO SUCKED
1. Michgan State Football. I don't live in Michigan, but even I know that when you are Michigan or Michigan State, you don't lose to a directional school - yet that's what Sparty did on Saturday, falling 29-27 to the Chippewas of Central Michigan (aka Chris Kamen U). The Spartans certainly did everything they could to lose. CMU scored with just 32 seconds left in the game to bring the score to 27-26, then elected to go for the win and the 2 point conversion. They failed. Michigan State then botched the recovery of the onside kick, giving the Chippewas another chance. They quickly drove into position for a 47 yard game winning field goal - which was missed. But wait. Sparty was offsides. Given another chance, the CMU kicker drilled the 42 yarder for the upset and the embarrassment. Seriously, this conference is awful. There's no reason the Gophers can't finish in the top 4. Other than the fact that they aren't very good either.
2. Terrelle Pryor. Good god is this guy terrible. The numbers are awful (11-25 for 177 and a pick passing, 10 carries for 36 yards rushing), but they don't even tell the whole story. Ohio State had every chance to win that game and get the "can't beat the good teams" monkey off both their and the Big Ten Conference's back, but Pryor just couldn't make a play when they needed him to. He's not a very good passer, is a tentative runner, and is a deer in headlights against a good, fast defense. Luckily for him, there aren't many of those in the Big Ten so I expect he and the Buckeyes will have a good year once again, and then get destroyed in whatever bowl game they end up in. I also want to admit here that I have no idea why people use "in a minute" as slang to mean "a long time." Like as in, "I haven't seen you in a minute" would mean I haven't seen you in a long time. That makes no sense. A minute is actually a very short unit of time. I think it's the stupidest slang I've seen since saying "hella-" before everything. If you do this, stop.
3. Oklahoma State Football. Remember last week when everybody was all like, wow Oklahoma State what a huge win over Georgia they must be really good lets rank them fifth and put them into the conversation for National Champion contenders? Well they flushed all that right down the toilet by inexplicably losing to Houston. The Cowboys came out flat, falling behind 24-7 at halftime. As good teams tend to do, they came roaring back with three unanswered touchdowns to take a 28-24 lead. Then, as good teams usually don't do, they pissed it all right away, letting Houston score three times in the fourth quarter including an INT returned for a touchdown when OSU was trying to drive for a winning socre to seal the deal and the 45-35 Cougar win. So we don't have to worry about them winning a National Championship anymore. And Dez Bryant is still a superstud.
4. Cincinnati Bengals. Remember how I predicted the Bengals would be a playoff team this year? Nevermind. They couldn't even beat the shitty Broncos at home, and not even after taking the lead on a Cedric Benson TD run with just 38 seconds left in the game. Then, knowing full well that the Broncos were basically going to have to chuck the ball deep, they somehow managed to let Brandon Stokely catch a deflected pass and run 87 yards to win the game. Seriously I have no idea how somebody could let that happen, but then again, it's the Bengals. Really not a shock.
5. Jake Delhomme. Yuck. Wasn't this guy actually pretty good a few short years ago? And now he's an absolute trainwreck, as shown by yesterday's outing - possibly the worst game by a QB in the history of football. Jake went 7/17 for just 73 yards and threw four picks, and was so bad that not only did the Panthers bring in Luke McCown, they also brought in Matt Moore (who?). I really wish I would have watched the game, just to see what that kind of performance looks like. You can go ahead and scratch the Panthers off your Super Bowl contenders list - which I already told you to do. God I'm brilliant.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Welcome to Minnesota, Pete Rose! (and then Twins)
7:00 - Well he's here, the Pete Rose of football. I'm glad he's here because I think he gives the Vikes the best chance to do more than limp to an NFC Central title and a first round bounce, but I still hate him. In any case he's here, and like all the rest of you ass clowns, I can't help it but I need to get a look at this. So why not blog it? Also, Mrs. W is super annoyed right now. She doesn't like football, hates Favre, and especially hates the preseason because there shouldn't be football in August. Plus, I never watch the preseason, ever, so this is extra irritating right now. I might have to watch something like Mona Lisa Smile to get back in her good graces after this. I hope you're freaking happy.
7:03 - The superlatives are flying.
7:04 - This commercial with Paul Allen "announcing the couple" bringing their couch inside their house, and then they pull the sheet off and it's a Vikings couch? It needs to go. It's embarrassing. And does anybody else thing PA is just a little too into his job. Jesus, dude, relax. He's going to have a heart attack within three years. I won't miss him.
7:06 - Percy Harvin and Favre shake hands, right as the camera is zoomed in on them. Yeah, that's not contrived.
7:07 - Sideline chick (note: not hot) has her microphone not work when they go to her for a story that was presumably about Favre and Booty, since they showed their pictures. Nice job ABC. This is why you lost your NFL contract. Well, actually it was because of money, but still.
7:09 - Vikes start on D, and force major pressure on Cassel two of the three downs and stuff old ass Larry Johnson on second down. Of course, Cassel still manages to find the world' s fattest, slowest, whitest tight end for 12 yards and a first down.
7:11 - Chiefs fumble, Vikes recover. Good defense. Of course, when KC refuses to throw the ball to one of the best receivers in football (Dwayne "the Show" Bowe) that'll happen. By the way, if you don't think Bowe is having a huge year, you really need to axe somebody.
7:14 - Favre's first pass attempt as a Vike: attempted two yard dump to some dumbass fullback - two feet in front of him, incomplete. Freakin' Tavaris could have done that. My football wang remains flaccid.
7:15 - Third and eight. Favre completes to Harvin (Favrin?) but shy of the first down by a half yard. That looks really familiar. They go for it on foruth down and AP gets stuffed. Chefs ball. I don't know, I would have put in Chester Taylor right there. Or ran a half back pass.
7:19 - In all seriousness though, do you realize that with Brett Favre at QB Thomas Jones led the AFC in rushing last season. Thomas Jones. T-Jones. Yes, that one. I'm serious. I'm not making this up. No, I will not shut up. Yeah, I'd put the over/under for AP yards this season at about 2,800.
7:21 - Catch Dwayne Bowe! Thirteen yards and another KC Chief.....FIRST DOWN!!!!
7:24 - Challenged by the Vikes, overturned. What do you think the combined IQ of the coaches of the Twins and Vikings is? Dawger + Super Sioux Fan level?
7:25 - The Twins are already down 1-0. Of course they are.
7:27 - Field goal, and it's 3-0 Chiefs. The Royals are about one hit away from having that same lead on your precious Twins and Nick Blackburn. Wow. Twins/Royals. Vikings/Chiefs. What a night to be alive.
7:30 - After a fake reverse kick return by Percy (which I admit got me kind of excited) we see Favre running back out for another series. Announcer guy definitely has a boner. I remain unmoved.
7:31 - I hate to divulge secrets when I know many of my fantasy golf leaguemates read this blog, but I have to just tell you that I know who is going to win the Fed Ex Cup: Padraig Harrington. Book it.
7:32 - If the Twins get beat by Luke Hochevar I quit. He doesn't even bend his hat brim. And he's white. Christ.
7:33 - Favre throws one about five thousand miles an hour, but misses the receiver by approx. 100 feet. Announcer guy wants us to know, "I'm ok with that. That should be a completion once the QB and receiver get to know each other." I can't wait until they're still saying that in week 9.
7:34 - Big time blitz not picked up. Instead of eating the ball, Favre tosses it up randomly like you would do in Madden when you're facing Engage 8 (unless you're the Colts). Luckily it just harmlessly hits the ground. These two series were super unfulfilling. I have to watch Mona Lisa Smile for this?
7:35 - Oh god the chin strap thing! Maybe nothing has annoyed me more over the years than Favre's constant need to unhook his chin strap the second the play is over - every. single. time. And now I have to root for that guy. I didn't realize how hard this would be.
7:39 - Bad thing number two, as I once again listen to the announcer say things like, "Man, Favre is down there talking football with Berrian, I want to be down there" - the constant, constant, constant, overstated praise of Favre, not matter what the situation actually is. I don't know that I can handle this. Also the defense seems to be sacking Cassel a lot, which I think is good.
7:42 - T-Jax in. At least he can't be worse than Favre.
7:44 - Ok, he was worse. He just scrambled, ran five yards passed the line of scrimmage, and then threw a pass. Oh, sure, the receiver was open. That'll happen when you run where the linebackers used to be before you toss the ball. My god. It's time to cut bait.
7:48 - Another Royal ding-dong. Blackburn sucks and so do the Twins. I can't do this anymore.
8:40 - I'm back. Did you miss me? BB Gun decided to start throwing BBs, and somehow the Twins scratched out three runs against this year's Pedro Martinez, and we're all tied at 3-3 heading to the 7th.
8:41 - Cuddyer whiffs on three pitches, the last being a slider so far outside and so far in the dirt that a retarded monkey with a hairlip wouldn't have gone after it. That dude is driving me crazy.
8:44 - According to Coomer the ball Crede just hit, "Would have been out of here if he hadn't hit it in August." What. The. Eff.
8:47 - They're forcing Ragarm McTiredarm out there for the bottom of the seventh because everybody in the bullpen (save Nathan) is currently icing their arms thanks to this starting rotation. I'm expecting bad things.
8:56 - T-Jax is 9-11 for 117 yards and a touch? I almost wish I had kept watching.
Almost.
8:59 - Well I was wrong. Still tied, top o' eight on it's way.
9:04 - Casilla bunts Gomez over to second after Gomez got on first somehow. I'm not sure, I wasn't paying attention. In any case, here is a spot I actually agree with a sac bunt. I generally agree with a sac bunt most times when it's used properly. When Gardy has Cabrera sac bunt in the first, however, is where we have problems.
9:10 - Twins take the lead on a Span single and the worst throw I've ever seen from the KC center fielder. Also the remote control is missing.
9:12 - Tavaris is now 12-15 for 202 yards and 2 touchdowns. I almost wish I had been watching to see how this was possible.
9:16 - Yeah, you go ahead and walk Mauer to face Kubel. Let's see how that works.
9:18 - Dammit.
9:21 - I FOUND THE REMOTE!!!!!
9:25 - Dwayne Bowe had a TD today. Expect to hear that about 16 times this season.
9:29 - The Guerrier/Mijares combo works how it was supposed to all year (including a pick offed runner at first), and we head to the ninth with the Twinks still up a point.
9:30 - Did Strasburg end up signing with the Nationals? Jesus I don't even know. Hold on.
9:31 - Yep, four years, 15.1 million. Everything I've heard says he could pitch now. I'm assuming the Nats will at least hold off until next season, but I'm looking forward to seeing this kid. Hopefully he doesn't follow in Mark Prior's foot steps.
9:34 - It's bizarre to me that Cuddyer just struck out. I mean, this is equivalent to striking out Joe Sewell.
9:35 - Crede flies out to center. I'm guessing if it wasn't August that ball is gone.
9:36 - Del-Money hits like he usually does, and we go bottom (like your mom). Nathan on. I'm struggling to stay interested.
9:42 - Nathan struggling to handle Teahen of all people. This doesn't bode well. I'm predicting extra innings.
9:43 - Teahen grounds out. This whole thing with Calipari is kind of garbage, to be honest. Suddenly Memphis is not only vacating it's most succesful season ever, but is also on probation for the next there years (I haven't seen what this entails).
Say what you want about Calipari's culpability (I've heard excuses that neither Memphis or Cal knew Rose cheated on the SAT), but this is the second time he's taken a team to the final four only to have that appearance stricken from the record books due to cheating - and yet once again he has escaped scott free.
Let's be honest here, the guy is dirty as all hell, he's just been pretty good about staying ahead of the law. Kentucky is the perfect place for him. Those rednecks will do everything they can to cover for him. Marriage made in heaven.
Oh yeah. Rose took his fraudulent SAT test in Detroit. He's from Chicago. A lot easier to have someone take a test for you in a state you aren't from. I have a very hard time believing Calipari didn't know this.
9:47 - Someone named Brian Pena (related to Tony? I don't know) just tied the game. Told you Nathan didn't have it. I suppose when your team gets you a save chance once every month you probably get a bit rusty.
9:50 - Coomer (is this even Coomer? I'm just guessing. Where's Bert? What's happening?) goes with the "the ball doesn't carry in August" angle again as some guy I've never heard of almost wins the game with a ball that only goes off the wall. You know, that might possibly even be a true thing, but when I hear some jackass just popping off on a broadcast, I need a little more than anecdotal evidence. And now we head to extras. Brian Pena is a dickweed.
9:56 - Oh good, Soria is in. The new Mariano Rivera. Assuming he goes two innings, no chance the Twins could possibly win this until the tenth. And they just showed Jesse Crain warming in the Twins' pen. This couldn't be more over.
9:59 - Casilla bloop, Cabrera bloop misplayed by Willy freaking Bloomquist and the Twins go back on top. Horseshoe up ass kind of stuff going on here.
10:00 - Another intential walk of Mauer. Don't let me down Kubes.
10:06 - Oh, I forgot to mention that he let me down. Nathan still pitching. One out, one on.
10:14 - Two runners on with nobody out, and Alberto Callaspo has fouled off about six straight two strike pitches. There's no way he should still be in there. Nathan doesn't have it tonight, and we saw he didn't have it last inning. I know what you're thinking, "Who else could they put in?" and I have no idea, but it's clear Nathan is not on his game tonight. And Callaspo fouled off two more pitches while I was typing that. This is ridiculous.
10:18 - Joe Nathan has thrown 48 pitches. Joe Nathan has thrown 48 pitches. JOE NATHAN HAS THROWN 48 PITCHES. Ok, 49 now. Great job Gardy.
10:20 - Fifty.
10:21 - I can't find a website where I can get pitch counts by game, but I'm willing to wager my house that this is the most pitches Nathan has ever thrown in a game as a Twin, and I would almost bet it's the most a closer has thrown since the early 80s, or at least towards the top of that list.
10:22 - 52
10:23 - Line out. Twins win. Nathan's arm probably shot. Not that it matters. This season is a dick.
7:03 - The superlatives are flying.
7:04 - This commercial with Paul Allen "announcing the couple" bringing their couch inside their house, and then they pull the sheet off and it's a Vikings couch? It needs to go. It's embarrassing. And does anybody else thing PA is just a little too into his job. Jesus, dude, relax. He's going to have a heart attack within three years. I won't miss him.
7:06 - Percy Harvin and Favre shake hands, right as the camera is zoomed in on them. Yeah, that's not contrived.
7:07 - Sideline chick (note: not hot) has her microphone not work when they go to her for a story that was presumably about Favre and Booty, since they showed their pictures. Nice job ABC. This is why you lost your NFL contract. Well, actually it was because of money, but still.
7:09 - Vikes start on D, and force major pressure on Cassel two of the three downs and stuff old ass Larry Johnson on second down. Of course, Cassel still manages to find the world' s fattest, slowest, whitest tight end for 12 yards and a first down.
7:11 - Chiefs fumble, Vikes recover. Good defense. Of course, when KC refuses to throw the ball to one of the best receivers in football (Dwayne "the Show" Bowe) that'll happen. By the way, if you don't think Bowe is having a huge year, you really need to axe somebody.
7:14 - Favre's first pass attempt as a Vike: attempted two yard dump to some dumbass fullback - two feet in front of him, incomplete. Freakin' Tavaris could have done that. My football wang remains flaccid.
7:15 - Third and eight. Favre completes to Harvin (Favrin?) but shy of the first down by a half yard. That looks really familiar. They go for it on foruth down and AP gets stuffed. Chefs ball. I don't know, I would have put in Chester Taylor right there. Or ran a half back pass.
7:19 - In all seriousness though, do you realize that with Brett Favre at QB Thomas Jones led the AFC in rushing last season. Thomas Jones. T-Jones. Yes, that one. I'm serious. I'm not making this up. No, I will not shut up. Yeah, I'd put the over/under for AP yards this season at about 2,800.
7:21 - Catch Dwayne Bowe! Thirteen yards and another KC Chief.....FIRST DOWN!!!!
7:24 - Challenged by the Vikes, overturned. What do you think the combined IQ of the coaches of the Twins and Vikings is? Dawger + Super Sioux Fan level?
7:25 - The Twins are already down 1-0. Of course they are.
7:27 - Field goal, and it's 3-0 Chiefs. The Royals are about one hit away from having that same lead on your precious Twins and Nick Blackburn. Wow. Twins/Royals. Vikings/Chiefs. What a night to be alive.
7:30 - After a fake reverse kick return by Percy (which I admit got me kind of excited) we see Favre running back out for another series. Announcer guy definitely has a boner. I remain unmoved.
7:31 - I hate to divulge secrets when I know many of my fantasy golf leaguemates read this blog, but I have to just tell you that I know who is going to win the Fed Ex Cup: Padraig Harrington. Book it.
7:32 - If the Twins get beat by Luke Hochevar I quit. He doesn't even bend his hat brim. And he's white. Christ.
7:33 - Favre throws one about five thousand miles an hour, but misses the receiver by approx. 100 feet. Announcer guy wants us to know, "I'm ok with that. That should be a completion once the QB and receiver get to know each other." I can't wait until they're still saying that in week 9.
7:34 - Big time blitz not picked up. Instead of eating the ball, Favre tosses it up randomly like you would do in Madden when you're facing Engage 8 (unless you're the Colts). Luckily it just harmlessly hits the ground. These two series were super unfulfilling. I have to watch Mona Lisa Smile for this?
7:35 - Oh god the chin strap thing! Maybe nothing has annoyed me more over the years than Favre's constant need to unhook his chin strap the second the play is over - every. single. time. And now I have to root for that guy. I didn't realize how hard this would be.
7:39 - Bad thing number two, as I once again listen to the announcer say things like, "Man, Favre is down there talking football with Berrian, I want to be down there" - the constant, constant, constant, overstated praise of Favre, not matter what the situation actually is. I don't know that I can handle this. Also the defense seems to be sacking Cassel a lot, which I think is good.
7:42 - T-Jax in. At least he can't be worse than Favre.
7:44 - Ok, he was worse. He just scrambled, ran five yards passed the line of scrimmage, and then threw a pass. Oh, sure, the receiver was open. That'll happen when you run where the linebackers used to be before you toss the ball. My god. It's time to cut bait.
7:48 - Another Royal ding-dong. Blackburn sucks and so do the Twins. I can't do this anymore.
8:40 - I'm back. Did you miss me? BB Gun decided to start throwing BBs, and somehow the Twins scratched out three runs against this year's Pedro Martinez, and we're all tied at 3-3 heading to the 7th.
8:41 - Cuddyer whiffs on three pitches, the last being a slider so far outside and so far in the dirt that a retarded monkey with a hairlip wouldn't have gone after it. That dude is driving me crazy.
8:44 - According to Coomer the ball Crede just hit, "Would have been out of here if he hadn't hit it in August." What. The. Eff.
8:47 - They're forcing Ragarm McTiredarm out there for the bottom of the seventh because everybody in the bullpen (save Nathan) is currently icing their arms thanks to this starting rotation. I'm expecting bad things.
8:56 - T-Jax is 9-11 for 117 yards and a touch? I almost wish I had kept watching.
Almost.
8:59 - Well I was wrong. Still tied, top o' eight on it's way.
9:04 - Casilla bunts Gomez over to second after Gomez got on first somehow. I'm not sure, I wasn't paying attention. In any case, here is a spot I actually agree with a sac bunt. I generally agree with a sac bunt most times when it's used properly. When Gardy has Cabrera sac bunt in the first, however, is where we have problems.
9:10 - Twins take the lead on a Span single and the worst throw I've ever seen from the KC center fielder. Also the remote control is missing.
9:12 - Tavaris is now 12-15 for 202 yards and 2 touchdowns. I almost wish I had been watching to see how this was possible.
9:16 - Yeah, you go ahead and walk Mauer to face Kubel. Let's see how that works.
9:18 - Dammit.
9:21 - I FOUND THE REMOTE!!!!!
9:25 - Dwayne Bowe had a TD today. Expect to hear that about 16 times this season.
9:29 - The Guerrier/Mijares combo works how it was supposed to all year (including a pick offed runner at first), and we head to the ninth with the Twinks still up a point.
9:30 - Did Strasburg end up signing with the Nationals? Jesus I don't even know. Hold on.
9:31 - Yep, four years, 15.1 million. Everything I've heard says he could pitch now. I'm assuming the Nats will at least hold off until next season, but I'm looking forward to seeing this kid. Hopefully he doesn't follow in Mark Prior's foot steps.
9:34 - It's bizarre to me that Cuddyer just struck out. I mean, this is equivalent to striking out Joe Sewell.
9:35 - Crede flies out to center. I'm guessing if it wasn't August that ball is gone.
9:36 - Del-Money hits like he usually does, and we go bottom (like your mom). Nathan on. I'm struggling to stay interested.
9:42 - Nathan struggling to handle Teahen of all people. This doesn't bode well. I'm predicting extra innings.
9:43 - Teahen grounds out. This whole thing with Calipari is kind of garbage, to be honest. Suddenly Memphis is not only vacating it's most succesful season ever, but is also on probation for the next there years (I haven't seen what this entails).
Say what you want about Calipari's culpability (I've heard excuses that neither Memphis or Cal knew Rose cheated on the SAT), but this is the second time he's taken a team to the final four only to have that appearance stricken from the record books due to cheating - and yet once again he has escaped scott free.
Let's be honest here, the guy is dirty as all hell, he's just been pretty good about staying ahead of the law. Kentucky is the perfect place for him. Those rednecks will do everything they can to cover for him. Marriage made in heaven.
Oh yeah. Rose took his fraudulent SAT test in Detroit. He's from Chicago. A lot easier to have someone take a test for you in a state you aren't from. I have a very hard time believing Calipari didn't know this.
9:47 - Someone named Brian Pena (related to Tony? I don't know) just tied the game. Told you Nathan didn't have it. I suppose when your team gets you a save chance once every month you probably get a bit rusty.
9:50 - Coomer (is this even Coomer? I'm just guessing. Where's Bert? What's happening?) goes with the "the ball doesn't carry in August" angle again as some guy I've never heard of almost wins the game with a ball that only goes off the wall. You know, that might possibly even be a true thing, but when I hear some jackass just popping off on a broadcast, I need a little more than anecdotal evidence. And now we head to extras. Brian Pena is a dickweed.
9:56 - Oh good, Soria is in. The new Mariano Rivera. Assuming he goes two innings, no chance the Twins could possibly win this until the tenth. And they just showed Jesse Crain warming in the Twins' pen. This couldn't be more over.
9:59 - Casilla bloop, Cabrera bloop misplayed by Willy freaking Bloomquist and the Twins go back on top. Horseshoe up ass kind of stuff going on here.
10:00 - Another intential walk of Mauer. Don't let me down Kubes.
10:06 - Oh, I forgot to mention that he let me down. Nathan still pitching. One out, one on.
10:14 - Two runners on with nobody out, and Alberto Callaspo has fouled off about six straight two strike pitches. There's no way he should still be in there. Nathan doesn't have it tonight, and we saw he didn't have it last inning. I know what you're thinking, "Who else could they put in?" and I have no idea, but it's clear Nathan is not on his game tonight. And Callaspo fouled off two more pitches while I was typing that. This is ridiculous.
10:18 - Joe Nathan has thrown 48 pitches. Joe Nathan has thrown 48 pitches. JOE NATHAN HAS THROWN 48 PITCHES. Ok, 49 now. Great job Gardy.
10:20 - Fifty.
10:21 - I can't find a website where I can get pitch counts by game, but I'm willing to wager my house that this is the most pitches Nathan has ever thrown in a game as a Twin, and I would almost bet it's the most a closer has thrown since the early 80s, or at least towards the top of that list.
10:22 - 52
10:23 - Line out. Twins win. Nathan's arm probably shot. Not that it matters. This season is a dick.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Where the Hell are all you People?
Seriously, I didn't grant writing privileges to four other people as well as giving Super Sioux Fan free reign to email me her random thoughts at any time for nobody to write anything when I'm busy for a stupid crazy month. I've made it abundantly clear that this month I won't really be able to keep up with the blog regularly, and yet we got one SSF post and nothing from anybody else. You people suck. Now I have to spend time writing about things I don't care that much about, just to make sure all the slack-jawed cretins out there keep coming back. Thanks assfaces.
- Well, first things first, Brettly Favre-i-licious will not be a Viking this year (allegedly). Which is really just confusing. What was all this for then, exactly? I mean, he even had the arm surgery. What was the point of that? This was just one big tease. This was pretty much the football equivalent of a strip club - all that anticipation and excitement with no payoff.
Of course, Brett being Brett, would it surprise anybody if he changes his mind again in a week? Hell, even tomorrow. If I woke up tomorrow and heard on the radio that he had changed his mind again and was going to be a Viking, I would be the least bit shocked. It makes me think of the part of a horror movie where you think the killer is dead, only to have him rise and kill again two minutes later. And you know damn well that even if he doesn't still end up coming back this year his name is going to be out there again next offseason - and don't count on him to put any speculation to rest either. Good riddance. I hope to god he at least stays out of the headlines until after the next Super Bowl.
My new favorite guys are the people who special ordered their Vikings #4 Favre jerseys. Nice job, morons.
- Sticking with morons, I've already heard from one guy on the radio and read from one guy on the internet that "Michael Vick would be a great fit for the Vikings." STOP. Lunacy. That's the kind of thing I'd expect Bogart to say because he's had his head up Vick's ass for years. And no, I don't really care about the dog fighting thing, he's just a god awful QB. The only thing he'd be good for is to come in and run the wildman or the wildcat or the catman or whatever it is, the one where the QB runs the ball half the time. An option with Vick and AP might work a handful of times a game, but anybody thinking this poor man's Vince Young can be a full-time QB is more deluded than Dawger and his Cal Ripken = Mike Cuddyer take.
- This batting stance guy shtick is just god awful. Where did they find him, youtube? I'd rather have the bat trick flipper guy. But I suppose they had to do things the Twins' way, and find the cheapest way possible to bring non-entertainment to the fans. I'm guessing the guy agreed to do it for like, $10 per segment filmed. Seriously, this is less entertaining than watching Delmon Young take batting practice.
- Pawing through the latest updates in Gopher hoop recruiting, I'm hearing a lot about this Kevin Noreen kid, a 6-5 wing from Minneapolis. He's not ranked in any meaningful way (class of 2011), and doesn't appear to be on the Gophers' radar, but Iowa and Wisconsin are starting to sniff around (his only offer so far is from Liberty), but it wouldn't shock me if he moves up lists the next couple of years. It sounds like with his long reach he's already an excellent, pesky perimeter defender, and he can hit the outside shot and led his team in scoring at the Best Buy Summer Classic. He's also got a nice pedigree, with a relative (too lazy to look up if it's his brother or cousin or what) in the class of 2010 committed to Boston College.
Remember the name.
- I kind of think this whole "All Metrodome team" is kind of stupid. It hasn't been around long enough for any meaningful debate. Who is going to be the second basemen if not Knoblauch, Lombo? I don't think so. Or catcher, Mauer vs. Laudner vs. Harper (not to mention J. Ortiz and Tom Neito). With only basically three sets of players, you aren't going to have many debates. Except of course at first base (Morneau vs. Hrbek) where they magically decided to award both guys spots on the team. Totally frickin' pointless. Just an excuse for everybody to pat everybody else on the ass and tell them the Metrodome doesn't suck. Oh, and Snacks actually likes watching baseball at the Dome, if that tells you anything about how stupid he is.
Even better is I heard Gladden and Gordo debating the All-Metrodome team of opponents, and they came up with obvious guys like Thome, but then they get to relief pitcher and Gladden comes up with Jeff Reardon, "because when he was with Boston he always shut us down."
Well Dazzle, I hate to bring facts to an idiot fight, but you're wrong. As a visiting pitcher at the Metrodome, Reardon pitched five innings, ringing up an ERA of 5.06 and a WHIP of 1.69. Sure, he had three saves, which I'm assuming is pretty much as far as Gladden's brain goes anyway. Bravo.
- The Gophers lost out on class of 2010 forward Zach McCabe, who recently comitted to Iowa. Tubby had extended an offer to him, but he verballed to the Hawkeyes a couple of weeks ago, and was starting to see interest from teams like Kansas and Notre Dame. I don't really know much about him, but based on the teams who were sniffing around and his junior season stats (16pts, 9 rebs, 6 assists with 43% three point shooting tells me Lickliter managed to actually get a good one - perhaps his first.
- Oh, and Cory Joseph is really god damn good.
- Well, first things first, Brettly Favre-i-licious will not be a Viking this year (allegedly). Which is really just confusing. What was all this for then, exactly? I mean, he even had the arm surgery. What was the point of that? This was just one big tease. This was pretty much the football equivalent of a strip club - all that anticipation and excitement with no payoff.
Of course, Brett being Brett, would it surprise anybody if he changes his mind again in a week? Hell, even tomorrow. If I woke up tomorrow and heard on the radio that he had changed his mind again and was going to be a Viking, I would be the least bit shocked. It makes me think of the part of a horror movie where you think the killer is dead, only to have him rise and kill again two minutes later. And you know damn well that even if he doesn't still end up coming back this year his name is going to be out there again next offseason - and don't count on him to put any speculation to rest either. Good riddance. I hope to god he at least stays out of the headlines until after the next Super Bowl.
My new favorite guys are the people who special ordered their Vikings #4 Favre jerseys. Nice job, morons.
- Sticking with morons, I've already heard from one guy on the radio and read from one guy on the internet that "Michael Vick would be a great fit for the Vikings." STOP. Lunacy. That's the kind of thing I'd expect Bogart to say because he's had his head up Vick's ass for years. And no, I don't really care about the dog fighting thing, he's just a god awful QB. The only thing he'd be good for is to come in and run the wildman or the wildcat or the catman or whatever it is, the one where the QB runs the ball half the time. An option with Vick and AP might work a handful of times a game, but anybody thinking this poor man's Vince Young can be a full-time QB is more deluded than Dawger and his Cal Ripken = Mike Cuddyer take.
- This batting stance guy shtick is just god awful. Where did they find him, youtube? I'd rather have the bat trick flipper guy. But I suppose they had to do things the Twins' way, and find the cheapest way possible to bring non-entertainment to the fans. I'm guessing the guy agreed to do it for like, $10 per segment filmed. Seriously, this is less entertaining than watching Delmon Young take batting practice.
- Pawing through the latest updates in Gopher hoop recruiting, I'm hearing a lot about this Kevin Noreen kid, a 6-5 wing from Minneapolis. He's not ranked in any meaningful way (class of 2011), and doesn't appear to be on the Gophers' radar, but Iowa and Wisconsin are starting to sniff around (his only offer so far is from Liberty), but it wouldn't shock me if he moves up lists the next couple of years. It sounds like with his long reach he's already an excellent, pesky perimeter defender, and he can hit the outside shot and led his team in scoring at the Best Buy Summer Classic. He's also got a nice pedigree, with a relative (too lazy to look up if it's his brother or cousin or what) in the class of 2010 committed to Boston College.
Remember the name.
- I kind of think this whole "All Metrodome team" is kind of stupid. It hasn't been around long enough for any meaningful debate. Who is going to be the second basemen if not Knoblauch, Lombo? I don't think so. Or catcher, Mauer vs. Laudner vs. Harper (not to mention J. Ortiz and Tom Neito). With only basically three sets of players, you aren't going to have many debates. Except of course at first base (Morneau vs. Hrbek) where they magically decided to award both guys spots on the team. Totally frickin' pointless. Just an excuse for everybody to pat everybody else on the ass and tell them the Metrodome doesn't suck. Oh, and Snacks actually likes watching baseball at the Dome, if that tells you anything about how stupid he is.
Even better is I heard Gladden and Gordo debating the All-Metrodome team of opponents, and they came up with obvious guys like Thome, but then they get to relief pitcher and Gladden comes up with Jeff Reardon, "because when he was with Boston he always shut us down."
Well Dazzle, I hate to bring facts to an idiot fight, but you're wrong. As a visiting pitcher at the Metrodome, Reardon pitched five innings, ringing up an ERA of 5.06 and a WHIP of 1.69. Sure, he had three saves, which I'm assuming is pretty much as far as Gladden's brain goes anyway. Bravo.
- The Gophers lost out on class of 2010 forward Zach McCabe, who recently comitted to Iowa. Tubby had extended an offer to him, but he verballed to the Hawkeyes a couple of weeks ago, and was starting to see interest from teams like Kansas and Notre Dame. I don't really know much about him, but based on the teams who were sniffing around and his junior season stats (16pts, 9 rebs, 6 assists with 43% three point shooting tells me Lickliter managed to actually get a good one - perhaps his first.
- Oh, and Cory Joseph is really god damn good.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Go Away Brett Favre
God this Favre thing is getting ridiculous, or even more ridiculous I should say. Did you hear the report where Brett was "anguished" over his decision and "he might have already decided against playing again" if it wasn't for Vikings' players calling and texting him? Does anybody actually believe this garbage? This is just another way of keeping the spotlight on himself. Favre is a bigger attention whore than Heidi & Spencer, and a bigger drama queen than that girl who lied about Teddy Dupay assaulting her just to get more attention and money (and somehow framed him enough so that he pled guilty even though he's totally innocent.)
Seriously, at this point I don't want him here any more, even for the train wreck factor. A couple of days ago after they resigned Winfield I started thinking about the team, and I realized if Favre can give them average QBing, this team is going to be really good and I was kind of actually getting excited about watching games on Sundays this year. Now though? He's just being a dick. I hope he drowns in freak four-wheeler accident in the crick behind his stupid house where he just couldn't wait to retire and play with his probably stupid kids and mow the lawn.
Even worse are the people who are STILL defending this big stupid baby. "You've never had to make a decisioin like this, you don't know what it's like." Shut up. Just shut up. This isn't someone making a hard decision, this is drama queen holding yet another team hostage FOR THE THIRD YEAR IN A ROW. This guy is worthless, no matter what you think he can give a team. Honestly I kind of just dismissed all that hoo-ha about him being a shitty teammate, mostly because Thomas Jones strikes me as kind of an idiot, but put those stories together with the shit he pulls every offseason, not to mention the fact that he was in that hot tub with Chmura but the cops covered it up, and he might be the worst human being since Pete Rose, yet another thing they have in common.
If he doesn't die of a Vicodin-related overdose before he makes a decision even though he's already made one, I hope they just tell him to go screw. Won't happen since Childress and the rest are already so far up Favre's ass they're basically West Virginia coal minters at this point, but it would be awesome.
- I'd also like to discuss the Matt Holliday trade today, since I've been interested in what Billy Beane's plan was since he acquired Holliday this off-season despite him only having a year left on his contract. I postulated that Beane would hope to have enough pieces to make a run, and then if they couldn't he'd flip him at the trade deadline and hope to get more value than what he paid. The couldn't make a run, and he did flip him. How about the overall profit or loss?
This year, the A's picked up 3b/1b Brett Wallace, SP Clayton Mortenson, and OF Shane Peterson from the Cards. Last year, they had to send OF Carlos Gonzalez, SP Greg Smith, and RP Huston Street to the Rockies to grab Holliday in the first place. Which package is better?
The two big prospects, and thus the most important part of this comparison, are Wallace and Gonzalez. Wallace is a big swinger with some power potential, and according to ESPN is currently a top 10 prospect in all the land. He's hit .289/.368/.429 so far this year between AA and AAA, with 11 homers in 397 PAs. His low slugging percentage this year is troublesome, as is his plate discipline, but everything I've read on this kid makes it sounds like he is the real deal. We should find out opening day next season, if not this September. Bonus points because his nickname is "The Walrus."
Gonzalez was a big time, five tooly type prospect in the A's system before he was sent over the Rockies which made me question why they would trade him, but maybe they know what they're doing over there. Gonzalez is starting to look like Carlos Gomez - horrible batting average, little to no slugging, 4-1 K/BB ratio, but a ton of speed and excellent defense. Wallace is still just potential, but that ship might have sailed on Gonzalez. Advantage: new trade
I'll make the rest of this quick since I'm getting bored. Street is still a high quality closer, and pretty much has been his whole career. He's also just 25 years old. I have no idea why the A's ever traded him. Smith, the final piece of the Holliday to the A's trade, was not very good last season and has yet to claw his way to the bigs yet this year. Mostly because he put up a 5.50 ERA at AAA, a 7.50 at AA, and has been busted all the way down to single A ball. We can probably forget about him.
The other two prospects the A's picked up from the Cards both have a good shot to be contributors, but not stars. Peterson has just two seasons under his belt, but has hit over .290/.360/.409 in both. He's looking like he could be a good 3rd/4th outfielder for somebody someday. Mortensen has a nice sinker and a good slider, but doesn't have the stuff to be a top line starter. He could end up a quality middle reliever.
I'd call it a win for the A's. I still can't wrap my head around why they ever got rid of Street since he was still affordable, but overall these two trades were well orchestrated by Beane.
- The Weeds show is pretty damn good.
- Finally, congratulations to the Egyptian on getting married tomorrow. I have to miss the Squid/Shark/Gator marathon on
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Pete Rose is Back! (+ Gopher Recruit stuff)
No, not the ultimate compiler and horrid human being Pete Rose, or his piece of crap son and his fourteen career at bats. I'm talking about the Pete Rose of football, the Vicodin Kid, the Drama Queen of the last three offseasons, the one and only Brett Farve.
I'm as sick of the circus every offseason as you are, and it looks like it's happening again this time with Favre planning to meet at a top-secret undisclosed location with Vikings' "Head Coach" Brad Childress to discuss the possibility of him coming to play for the Vikings next season. The Jets straight up released the world's biggest drama hog after drafting pretty boy something I don't remember (Mark?) Sanchez to play QB, which eliminates the clause which essentially barred Captain Percoset from playing for the Vikes last year. My reaction: What the hell, go for it.
Sage and T-Jax aren't exactly super bowl caliber QBs. They are more of prayers at this point, hoping to god one of them doesn't make too many mistakes to screw up a good team. That's pretty much Favre's downside here, as much as I hate him, his upside is far greater than either of those two clowns.
I see this going down one of two ways, and both involve him being all fired up to be in the NFC North and wanted to prove himself to everyone, and especially Green Bay.
One way is he hits all the mini-camps. All the optional training camps. Works out like a young person to get back in young person shape. Gets the gold medal in his training drill and jacks up his ratings by seven points. He comes out like the Favre before he became this Favre, lights the world on fire, and leads the Vikings to a Super Bowl. I can get on board with that, even with the world's richest redneck leading the charge.
The other way is he really wants to prove himself to Green Bay, but insists, as he has for the last several years, that he knows best how to do it. He doesn't need to work out with the team or hit the mini-camps or do anything other than show up, play a little grab-ass, halfway study a playbook, and hit the field. In this instance he throws a ton of picks (wow imagine that), can't lead the team to the victories they need because he keeps forcing the ball where he can't get it anymore, gets ripped to shreds, and eventually loses his job to either Sage or T-Jax, completely sullying his legacy to the point where he becomes a running joke. Honestly, I might even prefer this version.
Either way, the circus is clearly in town, and the man who gave his wife cancer is on the high wire without a net. And I'll watch in rapt attention for the same reason I listen to my trainwreck of a co-worker describe her love lift every week - it is a trainwreck from which I cannot avert my gaze. Sit back, relax, and love every minute of it. The only way we lose here is if he never signs at all.
[EDIT: I mentioned to Mrs. W that I was blogging about Favre and how it looks like he's probably coming here. She replied, "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. He's all old and injured and super annoying." So there you go.]
- As long as I'm here, I might as well keep on going, and next up is a very brief look at the Players Championship. Held every year at the TPC Sawgrass, home of the most famous island green in the world, this is the tournament where my homey Sergio Garcia finally breaks out this year. The Spanish Catapult hasn't been great this year (13th at the Honda is his best finish), but also hasn't been terrible and has made every cut this year with, of course, the exception of last week at Quail Hollow.
Normally all this would tell me to stay away, but the guy is one of a handful of guys who you could consider a top-five golfer and you know he isn't going this whole season without contending. Even better, dude loves Sawgrass, winning here last year after finishing as runner-up in 2007. I don't know if he'll win, but I'm seeing a top five for sure.
If you want more of a sleeper, look to the Swede Henrik Stenson. He's only played in three tournaments this year, but has a third place finish at Houston. He is like Garcia and loves this course, who has finished tenth, 23rd, and third here the last three years.
- Gopher hoops is pretty set for 2009, especially with those two boners leaving the team, but how about 2010? According to Rivals, these are the uncomitted players the Gophers have offers out to:
PG Cory Joseph. #110 on Rivals150, 24th best PG in the class. Also has offers from Georgetown, Virginia, Virginia Tech, Louisville, Marquette, Texas A&M, and UNLV. He's also visited Cal and is quickly moving up prospect lists with a very good year and his ability to play both guard spots and might soon jump from a 3-star prospect to a five-star. Given the questions the Gophers have at point with a rapidly approaching Terrance Simmons-level Al Nolen and the mystery that is Justin Cobbs, Joseph is probably the Gophers' most important recruit. It's a matter of if he wants to play with his bro Devoe or not. Let's hope so.
SG Aaron Cosby. 3-stars, not ranked in Rivals rankings, he also has offers from Oklahoma State, Indiana, Butler, Dayton, and Western Kentucky. Cosby might be the least impressive of the recruits in terms of his numbers on Rivals, but Tubby has been after him for a while, and I trust Tubby. According to his scouting report he can already score and has the ability to be a big-time on-ball defender with some effort. Those both sound good, but it still makes me nervous that he seems to be more of a target of the mid-majors.
SG Tim Hardaway, Jr. 3-stars, not ranked in Rivals rankings, he also has offers from Michigan with Kansas State involved. Not really highly sought after yet, it's probably only a matter of time for the first of the next generation of Run-TMC. He's already thought of as an elite shooter, but can do even more as shown by his averages of 23 points, 11 rebounds, and 6 assists last season. Michigan is and has been after him hard, and his three-point ability would fit well in Beilein's offense, but the Gophers are also in the picture. A big time elite shooter always gives me a little boner, so I'd be very much in favor of him showing up in Minneapolis.
SF Harrison Barnes. #4 on Rivals150, #1 small forward. Also has offers from Duke, North Carolina, Kentucky, Iowa State, Kansas, UCLA, and pretty much everybody. I mentioned that I thought Joseph was the Gophers' most important recruit, but Barnes is by far the best, and to the team's credit he is at least showing a modicum of interest. The real issue is that this kid can pick where he goes from essentially anybody (he's known as Kansas's #1 target, for example). The Gophers best bet is to hope he wants to stay close to home, but the issue there is that he's actually right from Ames so if he wants to stay close to home he's got Iowa State. Of course, if he wants to stay close to home and play for a great coach, that's where the Gophers have the advantage since Lickliter and whoever the hell is coaching the Cyclones right now suck. Don't expect to get this kid, but if it happens it's bigger than Royce and Rodney combined.
SF Casey Prather. #30 on Rivals150, #7 Small Forward. Also has offers from Michigan, Alabama, Clemson, and pretty much every mid-tier SEC and ACC school. He sounds essentially like a Rod-Will clone, but there's really no point in focusing on Prather in any way because there's no chance he comes to Minnesota. In a recent interview he detailed his thoughts on his top five schools, and the Gophers weren't part of the discussion. He does mention the in his TOP 14, but come on, who are we kidding here?
PF Chad Calcaterra. 3-stars, not ranked on Rivals. Offers from Auburn, Colorado State, Northern Iowa, UW-GB, and NDSU. Look at those schools, and look at that rank. I have no idea why he's been extended an offer other than the fact that he's from Cloquet so everyone has a boner for him. I'm pretty sure he's another Kevin Loge. With the upside of a Kyle Sanden. Have fun at NIU.
Lastly on the Gopher front, my main main Eric Bledose still hasn't picked a school, but he's clearly not coming to Minnesota and that still hurts me. It looks like he's outgrown UAB - which had looked like a perfect fit, and has it narrowed to Kentucky and Memphis. Basically the news is that he's going to Kentucky, unless John Wall goes to Kentucky, in which case he's going to Memphis. I'd look up if John Wall committed yet since I don't know how old my info is, but I've had a couple of drinks and also I'm quite lazy, so I'm not going to.
- Finally, the Twins finally bit the bullet and sent Alexi Casilla down today, recalling Matt Tolbert to take his place. I'm not Matt Tolbert fan, but it was time for Casilla, and it may be time to ship him off while he still has some value. That may be jumping the gun considering he's not even 25, but his suddenly sloppy defense can't offset his terrible offense anymore. He was never a great hitter, hitting just .257 in parts of three seasons in triple A, and burst on the scene last year hitting over .300 through July before fading to hit just .281/.333/.374. More alarming, check this out:
May, 2008: .340/.417/.520
June, 2008: .304/.330/.412
July, 2008: .308/.333/.385
August, 2008: .234/.260/.362
September, 2008: .221/.321/.253
April, 2009: .174/.231/.202
May, 2009: .135/.233/.135
Yikes. His OPS has declined every single month since he was recalled last year.
That can't be good.
RIP Scrubs. I can't remember a show that I cared about this much ending. Seinfeld, sure, but that show never connected emotionally the way Scrubs could (insert gay joke here, but Dr. Acula knows what I'm talking about). Bye show. I love you.
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