Win Twins: American League Division Series Preview

Even though we all know the New York Yankees are going to sweep since they completely own the Minnesota Twins in every way, Kubel homer off Rivera aside, I feel like I should toss up some kind of preview of some kind since I like to pretend I'm a Twins writer. So how about we take a look, position by position, so we can truly get a read on how badly teh Yanks are going to own this sucker.

CATCHER: Joe Mauer (.327/.402/.469 - 9 HRs) vs. Jorge Posada (.248/.357/.454).  Mauer is going to win this battle against any playoff catcher this year, although there's somebody in San Fran who might make a pretty good argument, but his hitting - even with his power disappearing - combined with his defense make him easily the winner in this argument.  Posada is still an ageless wonder but his skills are starting to diminish, even though - and you're going to hear this a lot with NYY - he's still patient and draws a lot of walks and can still hit for power.  His arm is basically shot (he only threw out 16% of base-stealers this year) but that won't really matter since the Twins can't/don't really run.  ADVANTAGE:  Twins

FIRST BASE:  Michael Cuddyer (.271/.336/.417 - 14 HRs) vs. Mark Texeira (.256/.365/.481 - 33 HRs).  This year was an off year for Tex (worst avg, obp, and slugging since he was a rook), but he still blows what the Twins have to offer completely out of the water.  The bad Cuddy showed up this year, which is unfortunate because this is when they could use him most, what with their best player on the shelf the second half of the year.  Hopefully he can recapture some of that 2006/2009 magic, because the Twins are going to need all the big bats they can get.  Plus, Texeira is a 3-time gold glover, and although it's commendable that Cuddy is willing to play wherever they need him he's a god awful 1B-man.  ADVANTAGE:  Yankees 

SECOND BASE:  Orlando Hudson (.268/.338/.372 - 10 SBs) vs. Robinson Cano (.319/.381/.534 - 29 HRs).  Look at those numbers.  Cano is just ridiculous.  Do you realize that slugging percentage of Cano's is the second-highest of any player in this series, behind on Jim Thome?  And we know what Thome has done, but Cano isn't that far behind.  And he plays frickin' second base!  I don't mind Hudson, despite the fact that he's hit .171 since September 8th, but he's far, far, far outclassed here.  Cano is basically Joe Mauer with power, while O-Hud is, well, Alexi Casilla with a a better reputation.  ADVANTAGE:  Yankees

THIRD BASE:  Danny Valencia (.311/.351/.448 - 7 HRs) vs. Alex Rodriguez (.270/.341/.506 - 30 HRs).  Similar to Texeira, A-Rod had one of the worst years of his entire career but still blows the Twins' offering away.  Not as badly as Tex, thanks to Valencia's high average, good defense, and the fact that he seems to be getting better, but Rodiguez is still so far beyond Dannyboy that, much like Dr. Dre said to his rival rappers, "You couldn't see me with binoculars."  Oh, and if you want to make the argument right now that A-Rod chokes in the playoffs do me a favor:  shut down the internet window you are viewing this blog on and never, ever, ever come back here again because you are a retard.  Also, and this has nothing to do with anything right now except that I'm watching Zombieland, I really dig Emma Stone.  ADVANTAGE:  Yankees

SHORTSTOP:  J.J. Hardy (.268/.320/.394 - 6 HRs) vs. Derek Jeter (.270/.340/.370 - 18 SBs).  In what is quickly becoming a common theme, Jeter is having the worst year of his career, but this one is at least close.  In actually, Hardy out OPSes Jeter, even though it's like comparing Alexi Casilla to Matt Tolbert, thanks to his higher slugging, and according to every defensive metric I looked it, which is everything fangraphs has, Hardy is a better fielder.  So we're going to have to give this one to Minnesota.  Which doesn't feel right.  And not because it's Captain Intensity and Sportsmanship, because he's been overrated for years, but because it's Hardy and he kind of sucks.  Sorry ladies.  ADVANTAGE:  Twins

LEFT FIELD:  Delmon Young (.298/.333/.493 - 21 HRs) vs. Brett Gardner (.277/.383/.379 - 47 SBs).  Tough call, because these guys couldn't be more different.  Young is the lumbering stick-man, finally coming into his own and showing some of his promise while at every pitch within a 4-mile radius of home plate.  Gardner is the fleet of foot slap-hitter who is probably the best left-fielder in baseball and is very selective at the plate.  It is close, but Young's extra power can't make up for Gardner's non-hitting skills.  And I don't mean like, his ability to cook a nice steak on the grill (top notch from what I hear.  He uses a little bit of garlic butter is the rumor), I mean the speed and fielding thing.   ADVANTAGE:  Yankees

CENTER FIELD:   Denard Span (.264/.331/.348 - 26 SBs, 10 3Bs) vs. Curtis Granderson (.247/.324/.468 - 24 HRs).  Sigh.  Remember when Span looked like he was going to become your prototypical leadoff hitter?  Like a poor man's Tim Raines with less steals?  Well now he's more like a poor man's Vince Coleman with way, way less steals (NOTE:  Coleman was actually a terrible hitter, which you probably don't remember because you were blinded by his blindingly blinding speed.  Blind.)  Granderson has been just barely good this year, but he destroys the new, slower Vince Coleman.  Quick, guess how many walks Spoleman has had since August 24th:  It's 12.  Jason Repko has nine in that same time frame, and he plays like every 8th day.  In short, Denard Span is a huge disappointment and I hope he gets the mumps.  ADVANTAGE:  Yankees

RIGHT FIELD:  Jason Kubel (.249/.323/.427 - 21 HRs) vs. Nick Swisher (.288/.359/.511 - 29 HRs).  Both of these guys would be better off playing softball so don't expect any great fielding antics (unless you count diving and catching a ball a normal fielder would get to standing up as a great fielding play), but Swisher is merely bad while my boy Kubes is basically a butcher of historic proportions.  And as far as hitting goes, Kubel is Kubel this year, while Swisher is what Kubel was last year.  No contest.  ADVANTAGE:  Yankees

DESIGNATED HITTER:  Jim Thome (.283/.412/.627 - 25 HRs) vs. Lance Berkman (.248/.368/.413).  Thank god Thome is involved here, because he'd win a comparison against anyone.  Berkman?  Please.  A-Rod?  Not this year.  Babe Ruth?  Sorry fatty.  Zeus?  No mythical beings allowed.  Jesus?  I said no mythical beings allowed.  So Berkman and his big giant chin have no chance.  ADVANTAGE:  Twins

STARTER #1/#5:   Francisco Liriano (14-10, 3.62 ERA, 1.26 WHIP) vs. CC Sabathia (21-7, 3.18 ERA, 1.19 WHIP).  This is an incredibly even matchup, especially because when you start looking at the nerd stats Liriano actually comes out pretty far ahead thanks to his great HR/9 mark and because his walk and strikeout numbers are way better than Sabathia's.  Just looking at the "mainstream" stats you'd pick Sabathia, but go a bit deeper and it's pretty obvious Liriano has actually been the better pitcher this year, and it's actually not all that close.  ADVANTAGE:  Twins

STARTER #2:  Carl Pavano (17-11, 3.75 ERA, 1.19 WHIP) vs. Andy Pettitte (11-3, 3.28 ERA, 1.27 WHIP).  This is a pretty even matchup, if you ignore the fact that the Twins seemingly couldn't hit Pettitte if he tossed the ball underhand.  A little wrinkle here is that Pettite is just getting back from injury, having pitched just three times since mid-July, and topped out at just 88 pitches in those three starts since returning.  Pavano has been very good this year, even though he's tapered off a bit since that streak of 18 consecutive complete games or whatever it was, and with his propensity to throw strikes the patient approach of the Yankees shouldn't bother him, and may even play in his favor.  ADVANTAGE:  Twins

STARTER #3:  Brian Duensing (10-3, 2.62 ERA, 1.20 WHIP) vs. Phil Hughes (18-8, 4.19 ERA, 1.25 WHIP).  One thing I really love about this matchup is that since the all-star break Hughes has been absolutely awful, with an ERA near 5 despite a fluky low BABIP of .262 and less than a 2-1 KK/BB ratio.  That means he's been simply dreadful.  And we know, outside of his last few starts, that Duensing has been brilliant this year, so all signs point to a Twinkie advantage.  Except of course, that the last time he pitched at Yankee Stadium in the playoffs he got shelled.  Still.....ADVANTAGE:  Twins

STARTER #4:  Nick Blackburn (10-12, 5.42 ERA, 1.45 WHIP) vs. A.J. Burnett (10-15, 5.26 ERA, 1.51 WHIP).  I know Blackburn has been pitching must better since his trip to AAA, and I know Burnett is mostly a mess, but I can't possibly give the advantage to the Twins here.  Blackburn doesn't have great stuff so he must rely on location so much that his margin for error is razor-thin, and when he's even slightly off he's gotten roasted by the likes of Baltimore, Oakland, and Kansas City - can you imagine what the Yankees will do to him if he's not 100% locked in?  It's not like Burnett has been great lately, since June 4th his ERA is 6.46, and I know Blackburn has come up in the clutch in the past, but I just can't do it.  Plus Sabathia is almost certainly going to be the one pitching this game.  ADVANTAGE:  Yankees

[NOTE:  New York hasn't announced their pitching lineup, so this is all just conjecture.  Good chance Sabathia comes back to pitch game #4 (where he'd obviously have a huge advantage over Blackburn), leaving Pettitte vs. Liriano for game 5 if it gets that far.]

CLOSER:  Matt Capps (42/48 saves, 2.47 ERA, 1.26 WHIP) vs. Mariano Rivera (33/38 saves, 1.80 ERA, 0.83 WHIP).  Father fucking time aka the Sandman just keeps rolling along, and you can throw out that blown save to the Twins earlier because those 2 ERs he allowed accounted for 33% of the ERs he allowed through August.  Of course, he's been super-mortal here in September, with an ERA of 7.38 and 3 blown saves in the month, but I'm not exactly ready to call him done just yet.  Plus, the best team Capps has ever played on before this year was a 68-win Pirate team, so not only has he never pitched in the playoffs, but he's really never pitched in a meaningful game.  Seriously, how do you feel when you think about Capps coming in to Yankee Stadium in the bottom of the ninth with the Twins up 3-2? Nauseous, at best.  ADVANTAGE:  Yankees

BULLPEN:   Crain/Fuentes/Guerrier/Mijaries/Rauch vs. Wood/Chamberlain/Robertson/Gaudin/Logan.  I haven't seen the Yankees postseason roster, so I'm not sure if all those guys will be on there, but the main three - Wood, Chamberlain, and Robertson - certainly will be.  Wood has basically been unhittable since he came over from Cleveland, but Chamberlain hasn't been great this year (although he still strikes out a ton of guys and can be untouchable when he's on) and Robertson is definitely hittable.  One thing that should help the Twins out is that the only lefty in the pen is Boone Logan, and although he's been good this year and particularly tough on lefties, he's been awful in his career overall and hasn't ever pitched in the postseason - could be where the Twins can take advantage.  Overall, despite the struggles in the last couple of weeks, I like the Twins' group better.  Although every single one of them scares me to death.  ADVANTAGE:  Twins 

Total it all up and the Twins look good on the mound, with the Yankees holding an advantage at the plate and win the overall breakdown by the slimmest of  margins at 8-7.  Of course, games aren't played with words on crappy, third-rate blogs, they're played between the lines where anything can happen.  Because this is your state, this is your team, and this is Twins Territory!

Yanks in 4.

But not if Wonderbaby^TM has anything to say about it.






If you're looking for another take, here's Reusse's breakdown using a similar method, but the results are very, very different and a lot more stupider.

Six Very Important Things this Morning 8.5.2010

1.  An ugly win is still a win.  And any win over a team like the Rays is a good thing, but man did they do everything they could to lose this one.  They wasted a monster outing from Scott Baker, the kind that reminds us that when he is on he is nearly unhittable.  They missed countless opportunities to get more runs across, and ended up heading into the ninth with just a 1-0 lead that was promptly squandered by new closer Matt Capps, with a healthy assist to the piss-poor outfield that seemed to make mistakes all game long, only to have Baker pitch around them - something Capps couldn't do. 

But despite their stunning ability to strike out on pitches out of the zone last night, they managed to squeak out a win over the Rays thanks to Delmon Young's big single in the 13th.  Of course, that hit came with runners on the corners and nobody out, so you would have thought a big inning was coming, but this was the Twins, and much like the rest of this series they were unable to get anything resembling a timely hit after Young, ending up on the right side of the 2-1 victory thanks to Matt Guerrier's six straight outs.

I do realize I've been a bit hard on this team in this series, and if they can win tomorrow they end up with a split, and you can't really expect anything better on the road against a team like Tampa, but they have just been so close in every game.  When two good teams matchup it's often the little things that make the difference, and do you really feel good with Gardy out there being the difference between a win and a loss (hello Guerrier vs. Upton two nights ago).  He clearly does some things right, enough to make the playoffs more often than not, but he is not a good game manager.  Sometimes that makes the difference.  I'm not calling for his head or anything, but sometimes he can really piss me right the hell off.  Seriously, go ahead and start keeping track of all the really good game decisions he makes.  I'll wait.



2.  Is it weird that nobody cares about this?  A-Rod finally hit his 600th career home run yesterday afternoon, just a mere 12 games and 46 at-bats since he hit #599.  I know everybody hates A-Rod, and for some reason the fans boo whenever he comes to bat, but I've never quite understood that.  Because he makes a ton of money?  They all make a ton of money.  Because he used steroids?  They all used steroids.  I mean, 600 HR, even in this day and age, is still a pretty special thing.  Only six other people have done it, with A-Rod being the youngest to reach that mark, and before you go spouting off about cheaters know that two other members, Bonds and Sosa, are cheaters too.  And doesn't A-Rod's cheating seem slightly less grievous somehow than Bonds or Sosa.  Bonds went from a great hitter to probably the second best of all-time, while Sosa went from a AAAA player to a home run hitting machine who still sucked.  A-Rod, to me, just doesn't seem anywhere near that level.  I actually kind of like the guy.  I'm not saying I want to go pick out curtains or anything, but if he threw some money at me and there was a little wine and maybe a back rub involved, who knows?  

3.  There is no way Bud Selig will be able to handle this.  You have probably heard the Texas Rangers are having all kinds of financial troubles, which is really too bad since they could make a run at the World Series this year.  What you may not have heard is that they are currently up for auction and it's basically Nolan Ryan vs. Mark Cuban.  So it's stoic, professional, respects the game ex-stud pitcher and maybe the most famous baseball name in history Nolan Ryan versus trashy, spazzy, do it his own way, insult every in power and get fined every five minutes Mark Cuban.  Now I think Cuban would be good for baseball - he would treat his players great, spend on a Yankee-level for payroll, and give MLB its best villain since John Rocker - but I'm guessing Bud Selig disagrees.  Of course, this is the same guy who thinks the All-Star game should mean something and almost wrecked the game twice (strike, steroids), so I like my chances.

4.  This is what Carlos Gomez should have been.  Sigh.  Back in 2007, Carlos Gomez was one of the Mets top prospects while Carlos Gonzalez was one of the top prospects in the Arizona system.  Both were centerfielders.  Both were fast as all hell.  Both were toolsy.  Both were plus defenders.  And neither understood the strike zone.  Both have been traded since then (Gonzalez twice), but while we've seen Gomez struggle to become more than a fast, inconsistent player, Gonzalez has become one of the best in the game.  After hitting two home runs today he now has a line of .319/.349/.559 with 23 home runs, 72 RBI, and 15 steals, numbers that rank him as #2 in the NL in batting average, #4 in slugging, #6 in RBI, #7 in homers, and #6 in OPS.  Take heart though, Carlos Gomez fans (all one of you), most defensive metrics have Go-Go as a much better defender than Gonzalez.  Take that!  Although Gonzalez did have one unfair advantage - he go to learn from the great Todd Helton.

5.  Edwin Jackson made me look like an idiot.  Remember how I was all like, "Jackson will suck in the AL he's not even good in the NL" and "Chicago is so stupid they totally got stuck with Jackson" and "I'm smart"?  Well I'm still an idiot.  Jackson led the White Sox to yet another stupid win, which makes them something like 50-1 in the last two months, pitching seven very good innings, allowing just one run on nine hits and a walk while striking out six.  Not a masterful shutdown performance, but pretty solid, even if it was against the suddenly punchless Tigers.  Seriously, what is going on with the Sox pitching?  It doesn't even matter who they throw out there, they are all Cy Young candidates.  I don't know what kind of magic elixir they have in Chicago, but I suspect it has something to do with Dayton wings.

6.  Brett Favre is a creepy perv?  Favre retirement talk, with him finally coming out and saying it's all about the health of his ankle and that he hasn't made a decision yet, but that's not important.  More interesting is that Jenn Sterger (pictured below), famous for having a large rack and being a Florida State fan in a cowboy hat, has told Deadspin that Favre used to send her pictures of his ding-dong when they were both employed by the Jets.  Now, I'm all in favor of people sending each other pictures of themselves in various stages of undress, but generally only when it is something both parties are interested in (or the sender is a woman).  When it's a dude sending pictures of his crank (or of him holding his crank while wearing crocs) to a chick who isn't interested, not to mention to a not interested chick who is 20 years younger than him, I get a little skeeved out.  Like, Pete Rose in his underwear skeeved out.  But doesn't this also seem like something Rose would do?  Looks like my Favre = Rose comparison just continues to get more and more accurate.

MLB Preview - American League

Here it is, what you've all been waiting for.  Your American League preview.  Although I have to warn you I went out to dinner with my parents and had a bunch of beers, so I'm probably just going to half-ass this thing.  Or at least more than usual.

AL EAST

1.  NEW YORK YANKEES.  It pains me, physically pains me to pick these jackasses to win.  I almost win went another team here, but then I realized that would just have been picking against the Yankees because they were assholes, especially your boyfriend Derek Jeter, and as a professional journalist who was once named a top 100 sports blog in America I just can't have that kind of impartialism running rampant on such a respected blog, so I pick the Yankees first.  Seriously though, that Nick Johnson signing is perfect for this team and the exact type of signing they used to not be smart enough to make.  So I guess what I'm saying is the Yankees might be back.  I mean Jesus Christ their fifth starter is Phil Hughes.  How is that even fair?  He'd be second on the Twins.  You heard me.

2.  TAMPA BAY DEVIL RAYS.  It seems like they have an endless supply of young talent, much like Vivid.  And most of them work out well, which is what makes them different.  This year, keep an eye out for "fifth" starter Wade Davis and the guy who will be the Carlos Gomez we always wanted, Desmond Jennings.  I'm not certain that Rafael Soriano is actually the answer to their bullpen questions but why is the guy from those Miller High Life commercials on Cougar Town?  Side bar:  this show is terrible.

3.  BOSTON RED SOX.  I just wish they'd go away already, but somehow ($200 million payroll) they keep staying relevant.  But who fills in for Jason Bay's numbers?  Victor Martinez?  Please.  Although I do want you all to know that I'm sharing a fantasy baseball team with Snake this year and he said our second round target should be V. Martinez so feel free to all point and laugh at him.  Adrian Beltre should be a monster though.


4.  BALTIMORE ORIOLES.  I feel bad for these guys.  They finally seem to have it together, with a bunch of nice young arms and a bunch of good young bats and it doesn't matter remotely because of the division they are in.  If the O's were in the central or west they'd be in contention for a division crown, but being in the East they are screwed.  Look out for both Adam Jones on the bat side and Brian Matusz on the arm side.  I got a game he throwed last year and I think he's probably the real deal (not the J.D. Durbin kind).  Also wieters wieters wieters  wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters wieters.


5.  TORONTO BLUE JAYS.  Trading Halladay was the right move since they suck, but they need to pray to Poseidon that a bunch of those prospects pan out because this is uglier than that chick from that one show.  Travis Snider is a complete pimp, as are Adam Lind and Aaron Hill, but the rest of the lineup features guys like Jose Bautista, Alex Gonzalez, and Lyle Overbay.  And that's better than the rotation, which is just like the Twins rotation how every starter is kind of on the same level except if that level was Glen Perkins.


AL CENTRAL


1.  MINNESOTA TWINS.  I'm almost kind of glad about the whole Nathan injury because it puts a flaw into what was shaping up to be a little too perfect of a team.  Kind of like going into the season everyone was expecting the Vikings to hit the Super Bowl, that's how the Twins offseason was shaping up.  Now that there's a chink (NOTE:  not racist) in the armor maybe they are ready to take it.  Feel free to expect Kubel to become the third member of the current team to win an MVP.  Also, Delmon Young:  .310/.360/.500.  Believe.


2.  DETROIT TIGERS.   I'm very intrigued by what they are doing here.  It's a very nice mix of young (Austin Jackson, Scott Sizemore, Max Scherzer) and old (Mags, Miggy, Verlander) with a shitbox of a bullpen.  Does anybody still believe in Joel Zumaya at this point?  Because he's officially closing now, a solid three or so years after he should have been ready.  Did you know Brandon Inge struck at 170 times and OBP'd at .314.  God that guy sucks.  If I wasn't lazy I'd try to find video footage of his 0 home runs in the derby last year.  But here we are.


3.  CHICAGO WHITE STOCKINGS.  That rotation is super good if you believe Peavy is back, which any smart human does even though that sucks worse than your life for the Twins.  Funny that the offense basically keys on if Carlos Quentin, who looks like a retarded mexican Eric Cartman, is back to form, which he won't be.  So you can expect a lot of 2-1 losses for Chicago this year.  Oh, and if you want a prediction you can consider this a guarantee - Bobby Jenks implodes this year.  Mark Wohlers-style.


4.  CLEVELAND INDIANS.  They don't really have much of a chance to compete this year, and will definitely trade Kerry Wood and should think about trading Grady Sizemore, but they seem to at least have an idea of what they're doing and are stockpiling some talent.  Matt LaPorta, Lou Marson, Carlos Santana, Luis Valbuena, Asdrubel Cabrera, and Michael Brantley are very good young hitters who aren't there as a group yet but will get their soon.  Luckily the rotation is brutal and the bullpen might be even worse.  There is a lot of chatter about Fausto Carmona and being back to form coming out of spring training.  I'd dismiss it, but I'm basically buying in 100% to the Frank Liriano hype so I have to respect this, right.  I don't want to be some kind of hypocrite like Oksana Baiul.


5.  KANSAS CITY ROYALS.  I want to believe in KC, I really do.  Partially for Zack Greinke and partially because it should be unconstitutional for such a beautiful ballpark to house such a shitty team (see:  TCF Bank and the Gophers).  Every time it seems like they might be moving in the right direction, like stockpiling a good amount of young arms, they go out and sign the worst lineup anybody has ever seen ever in forever.  Just terrible.  It's like, I feel the Pirates are starting to figure it out but the Royals are the younger, more retarded brother who has had the same plan explained to them and acts like they get it but then signs Jason Kendall to a 2 year/$6 million contract.  Honest to god his agent must have shit himself when he saw that come through on facsimile.



AL WEST

1.  CALIFORNIA ANGELS.  Sort of by default here.  All these teams are pretty close to even, but when you're in a cut-throat business like blogging you have to make a stand and I guess my stand is picking the Angels and also I'm bored.  Does it even matter?  These teams (sans the Rangers) all play way the hell over on the west coast where sports are over by 8pm and then every one is bored.  Unless the Oscars are on, in which case the whole city shuts down and if you happen to be out there for new job orientation you can't go to the hotel bar and watch a basketball game because every TV is on the stupid Oscars and god forbid you ask if they can change one little tv in the corner because the bartender will judge you like he was Mills Lane and then not change the channel at all.

2.  SEATTLE MARINERS.  I have to pick them here because I love their strategy of going after pitching and defense in that gigantic park, and also because I put some money on them already at 16-1 two win the AL.  Now that I think about it, that's a pretty stupid bet and if I really like them I should have just waited for their win OVER/UNDER to come out and roll on that and hold on one minute.  Ok I now have the Mariners to win over 83.  Also Twins OVER 82, Rockies over 84.5 (heavy here), Giants UNDER 82.5, and ATHLETICS UNDER 78.  That was fun.

3.  TEXAS RANGERS.  I have never heard of any of these pitchers.  I wish it was Friday.  I want to draft a team.  And also drink beer.  And also drink beer with Snake while we draft a dominant team which will have no Rangers at all unless Justin Smoak gets called up.  That guy is going to make Justin Morneau look like a girl.


4.  OAKLAND ATHLETICS.   This is, frankly, pretty awful.  I love Billy Beane and he basically turned the league's front offices upside down by looking at the game in a different way, but it's not really working anymore and I don't think you could fault the A's if they chose to go in a different direction.  Also when/if that happens I will be first in line for the "Fire Bill Smith hire Billy Beane" movement.  Somebody just let me know when we meet and what I have to bring.  I just concocted a pretty good dry rub for some chicken wings, so if it's going to be that kind of party somebody let me know.  Also let me know if it's the kind of party where ding-dongs are getting stuck in the mashed potatoes.  I'll call Q-Tip.


AL WILD CARD - Rays
AL PENNANT - Twins (believe it)
AL MVP - A-Rod (runner up = Kubel)
CY YOUNG - Felix Hernandez (runner up = Matt Garza)
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR - Matusz (runner up = Jennings)

WORLD SERIES WINNER - Phillies.  Sorry homers.

World Series Game 3 Live Blog

Seeing as it is Halloween, the missus and I are watching Drag me to Hell, which so far is a pretty good movie despite the presence of Justin Long.  It's helped by the fact that I am a little bit in love with Alison Lohman, who could be sisters with both Jenna Fischer and Anna Paquin.  Can you image those three in the same family, because they could easily all be related.  I think I'd go Fischer, Paquin, Lohman, but really, whichever order they want to come to me in is fine by me.

Anyway, I'm also watching the World Series on an internet feed, as I usually do, and the Gophers are being monitored thanks to the game tracker via ESPN.com.  Currently the Gophers are recovering from an almost blown awesome start, but lead 21-10 with 2 minutes left in the first half, the Yanks and Phillies are tied 0-0 in the bottom of the first, and this chick in the movie should not have turned that old lady down for a loan, because I'm pretty sure she's fucked at this point.  Any way, let's roll.

-  Andy Pettitte is the all-time leader in postseason wins?  W.T.F??!?!  This would be like finding out Derek Jeter is third all-time in postseason home runs........WHAT!!??!

-  Just got back from tending to my pumpkin seeds (slow roasted at 300 degrees for an hour, butter spray, seasoned salt, garlic powder) and the Phillies managed to get nothing out of Jimmy Rollins's leadoff single and steal of second.  Can't waste opportunities, boys, you know the Yanks won't.  Or maybe they will.  I don't know.

-  I guess we'll find out as my sort-of boyfriend Cole Hamels plunks a-rod with the first pitch of the second inning.  Cole and I were going really good most of last year, it was pretty serious, I think he might have picked out a ring, but I kind of had to slow things down most of this year.  Now he's been slowly winning me back over, and this is a pretty good chance for him to get back into my good graces.

-  Pedro Feliz, who Tim McCarver keeps insisting is one of the best 3bmen in baseball, bobbles and easy double play ball and they only get A-rod at second.  What do you want to bet that costs them?

-  Nevermind, my boyfriend pitched out of it with no further issues.  I guess that was a bad bet, like most of them that Snacks lays down these days.

-  Wow, this chick in this movie is having a couple of really horrible days.  Nice rack though.

-  Home run Jayson Werth to lead off the second.  He really had to go down and get it, too.  A lot like Matsui's in Game 2, but insead of hitting a pop up that somehow managed to get over the fence by some weird miracle, he laced that sumbitch into like the 15th row in left field.  A right-handed, National League Jason Kubel with speed and fielding.  So really he has nothing in common with Kubel at all, except they are both underrated and I love them both (NOTE:  I love Kubel more).

-  With one out, Feliz doinks one off the wall for a double, and then walks Carlos freaking Ruiz.  Falling apart, Pettitte?  Need a little GHB or your precious "God?"  Well you're on your own, chief.

-  The Spartans took the opening kick of the second half back for a TD?  Good lord.

-  Uh, oh, bunt hit for Hamels because Pettitte can't field.  I'm feeling blow out here folks, this might be a a very short live blog - no point continuing when the Phillies are up 15-0.

-  Pettitte walks in a run, walking Rollins on five pitches.  He looks awful, just awful.  Which, of course, is good for me, and for America.

-  The Phils pick up one more, and it's a 3-0 now going to the third.  This game is huge for Philadelphia, because next up is Sabathia vs. Blanton, in a game the Yankees should win 20-1. 

-  Gophers answer, and it's 28-17.  Honestly, you can't lose that game after the way it started for them, or you might as well quit football and move on to field hockey.  In case you missed it, the Gophers scored on the first play from scrimmage on a long TD pass to Duane Bennett, then MSU fumbled the kickoff and Minnesota recovered, and converted that into another TD with a pass to future stud Brandon Green.  In other words, a near perfect start.

-  so I have no sound with this internet feed (well, I do but instead we are watching some crazy goat-sacrificing seance), but Predro Feliz just fielded a grounder and threw a guy out, and they've now shown the replay four times, paying most attention to how he used two hands to field it.  Twenty bucks says McCarver is having a jizz party over this righ tnow, and that's why we are watching a routine play over and over and over.

-  I'm having trouble getting the ESPN tracker to work, but it appears Sparty just returned a kickoff for a touchdown for the second time this game, and it's now 28-24 Gophers.  I would wager my kickass Protege (with Spoiler) that the Spartans win this game.

-  Oh, nevermind it was only an 84-yard touchdown run, not a kickoff return.  No need to panic, pretty routine.

-  A-Rod dingers after Texeira walks.  It's the Yankees first hit, the first higt A-Rod has ever gotten against Hamels, and it makes the score 3-2.  On a related note, or not, somehow Michigan State now leads the Gophers 31-28.  You pretty much have to get rid of Brewster, right?  Maybe they bring in a new coach and keep Brewster on as tight ends' coach.or something.

-  What the hell?  Wanda Sykes is getting her own talk show? 

-  Error or Rodriguez to lead off the fourth.  I guess we should call him E-Rod.  Can a get a rimshot here?

-  We finished Drag me to Hell.  I'm going to lightly recommend it.  Up next is Orphan, which I'm assuming involves some creepy kid.  I have a feeling I'm going to be very wary of Wonderbaby^TM tomorrow.

-  And now the Gophers are up again, thanks mostly to a fifty-three yard completion from Weber to someone named Da'Jon McKnight, who I have definitely never head of.  What a crazy game.  It's almost enough to make me wish I was watching.

-  Uh, this Orphan movie is pretty effed up right here.  Pretty sure that opening scene is going to give me nightmares for years.  NICE MOVIE PICK MRS. W!

-  Yankees tie it up on a Nick Swisher double and a Pettitte single.  Yes, a Pettitte single.  Call me crazy here, but maybe you don't throw your lollipop curveball to a career .134 hitter.  I'm thinking it makes more sense to save that pitch for guys who can actually hit so you can disrupt their timing.  Not a guy who you could throw nothing but fastballs too and he'd make contact 10% of the time.  You are on thin ice, Hamels.

-  And it's now 5-3 thanks to a Jeter bloop and a Damon double.  And now he walks Texeira to bring A-Rod back up.  and he's being yanked for Happ.  We are so broken up.  And not like a Lindsay Lohan/Samantha Ronson break-up, I mean real one.

-  Sparty field goal, 35-34 Gophers.  Wow.

-  Just got a text from snacks, who is at the Gopher game, which is now 42-34 and clearly the craziest game ever.  He told me to turn the game on, which I did, so I could see the weird Tow-Arnett deflection to Bennett thing, which might be the most unreal play I've seen in a long time.  I kind of wish I was watching that game.

-  This kid in this movie is creepy as all shit.

-  Home run Swisher, 6-3 Gay-nkees.  Interest level:  waning.

-  The NL version of Jason Kubel homers to lead off the sixth, and it's now 6-4.  I am also now watching the last two minutes of the Gopher game, and I was all excited to watch Sparty march down in the last two minutes to end up tying it up, but instead some dumb bastard runs into the punter to give the Gophers a first down, and that should just about do it.  Totally earned that victory, way to go, Brewster.

-  So far the kid is just creepy, and hasn't killed anybody or poisoned anybody or lit anyone on fire yet or anything.  She should probably get on that here pretty quickly, especially since her parents are horny pervs who get it on at the drop of a hat no matter who or what is around.  Seriously, bending the wife over the kitchen table and going to town is good stuff, but when you have three kids and it's like 8pm, I'd probably advise against it.  Pervs.

-  J.D. Durbin.  The Real Deal.  And he still sucks.  Couple hits, couple walks, and a run, and he was bailed out by what could only be described as the worst call in history - Posada was rung up on pitch that was well below the knees and about a foot outside.  Almost wonder if the umps are supposed to make sure this thing gets back to New York.  After those excerpts from the Donaghy book, who the hell knows what's going on in pro sports. 

-  Wait.  This one is Chad Durbin, who has made a decent career out of being a middle reliever.  The Real Deal hasn't pitched in the bigs since 2007, totaled just 72 innings pitched in his career, and is currently floundering about in the Dodgers' system.  But perhaps most damning of all?  Baseball Reference has a section for each player where it lists their nicknames.  There is no mention of "The Real Deal" on his page.  None whatsoever. 

-  She now pushed some mean girl down a slide and she hurt her ankle.  This chick's evil level is closer to Nelson Muntz than Damien.

-  Black taco.

-  Well, now she killed some black nun lady by hitting her in the head wiht a hammer like, fifty times.  That was pretty evil.  But in her defense, she's Russian.

-  Matsui takes Brett Myers yard to make it 8-4.  Amazing somebody can hit the ball that far without opening their eyes.  Also, Brett Myers?  Seriously?  God the Phillies' bullpen sucks.  And now they're screwed.  You can't go with Blanton tomorrow now, can you?  Let's be honest, that guy is terrible, and if they go with Blanton it's going to be 3-1 Yankees.  You need to go with pimp daddy Cliffy, it's the only way.

-  Phillies' are down 8-4 in the 8th, and Marte is pitching.  What they need to do is make the game close enough so Rivera has to come in.  Obviously, ideally they would win, but barring that they need to at least make Mariano pitch. 

-  Good job Phillies.  He strikes out two and gets Ibanez to line out.  Worthless. 

-  I'd love to keep blogging this crap, but we're going to play strip Trivial Pursuit.  I'm sure you understand.  For now, Happy Halloween readers, from the W family:

Weekend Review - 10/26/2009

 I'm going to avoid talkinmg about the Vikes I think, just because you could come up with five things that were awesome and five things that sucked just from that game without even trying.  AP is ridiculously good and Childress is still an idiot.  Seriously, you're going to pass twice from the 1-yard line and then kick an 18 yard field goal when you have the best back in football?  Arg.  But, it's an AFC/NFC game, and I didn't really expect the Vikes to win in the first place, so I'm not too worried about it.  There are plenty of other things to talk about.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  The Twins.  Season's over, but the Twins manage to get in here thanks to their actually spending some money and dipping into the foreign player market.  In case you missed it, and most people did thanks to the miracle comeback and subsequent sweep, Bill Smith went out and signed Miguel Angel Sano, who, according to that article from ESPN, is considered by many to be the top teenage prospect in Latin America (he claims he's 16, but it's Latin America so he could be anywhere from 14 to 30).  He's a shortstop who is already 6-3, 200 lbs, so odds are he will end up being moved to third or the outfield, but apparently his bat is good enough for that not to matter.  The Twins coughed up $3.15 million for a bonus to sign Sano, which is the second most ever given to a Dominican player and a veritable fortune for the Twins.  For more on Sano, as well as the Twins other aggressive moves this offseason you may have missed, check out this post by the Jesus of Twins bloggers, Aaron Gleeman. 

2.  A-Rod.  I wrote this here before, but I'll say it again - I'm incredibly happy A-Rod is having the postseason he is, because now idiots may finally start appreciating maybe the best right handed hitter in history.  I won't get into a whole big argument here, maybe I'll save that for another post sometime, but he's definitely in the conversation, yet all the morons in the media and idiot fans can ever talk about is his "postseason choking" - now they won't have that to fall back on.  After going 2-2 last night (with 3 walks), A-Rod has a hit in every single game this postseason, with an RBI in every game except one and a total line of .438/.538/.969.  Just an incredible run, and if that's not enough to shut up the morons, I don't know what to tell you.    

3.  TCU.   Both BYU and Boise State had claims to being the best non-BCS conference team in the country at different points this season, but after Saturday's 38-7 shellacking that the Horned Frogs put on BYU, they're looking like the best bet to break up the BCS party.  Not only did they smoke the Cougars, but they did it in Provo, and did it by shutting down a very good QB in BYU's Max Hall, who threw for just 162 yards on 18-28 passing.  I haven't had a chance to actually watch TCU this year, so I don't know if they can hang with Florida or Alabama, but this win is a pretty compelling argument, as is their early season win over Clemson.  At 7-0 and with easy games left outside of a November 14th match up against Utah, they should be looking at a BCS bowl.

4.  The Colts and the Saints.  Both remained undefeated, and both showed why they are the favorites to make it to the Super Bowl, although they did it in very different ways.  The Colts just came out and stomped the piss out of the far inferior Ram, jumping out to a quick 14-3 lead on the way to a 42-6 win in which Peyton Manning barely had to break a sweat, while Marc Bulger continued to spiral down the drain.  The Saints had a rougher go, falling behind 24-3 to the Dolphins and looking lost, before a Miami fumble with time winding down in the first half changed their fortunes.  The Saints scored with five seconds remaining in the half, and used that as a springboard to a huge second half where they outscored Miami 26-10 and ended up winning 46-34, thanks to Drew Brees bouncing back from a horible start and leading them on three consecutive scoring drives of over 60 yards in the second.  If it does end up being these two in the Super Bowl, and it looks like there's a good chance it will, we might be looking at the highest scoring Super Bowl ever.  I'm thinking like, 55-52.  Sweet.

5.  Ryan Anderson.  White boy can ball folks.  I loved Anderson at Cal, but wasn't really sure how his game would translate to the NBA, but after catching part of the Magic's preseason game on Friday night, I'm sold.  It was a rare chance for me to get to the bar, and they happened to have the game on for a little while before they felt the need to change every single TV in the place to the shitty Gopher hockey game, and he's not only good, but he's aggressive.  In like six minutes of play he took 4 or 5 shots, inside and outside, and hit a couple of deep threes and got a put back or two.  Checking the preseason stats, he's averaged 14 points and 4 rebounds while shooting 49% overall and 56% from three.  He was decent with the Nets last year, but no where near this good.  Everybody thought Vince Carter was the jewel of that trade, but the "throw-in" of Anderson might end up being the most significant part of that deal (which I already mentioned somewhere on this blog after the trade was made).         


WHO SUCKED

1.  Gopher football. I know I am hard on Gopher football when I accidentally pay attention to it, but jeezum was that awful.  Following up a 20-0 loss to Penn State with a 38-7 shellacking by Ohio State in a game that wasn't even that close is a good way to lose your fan base, and plant your coach firmly on the hot seat.  And yes, I understand those are two of the top teams in the conference, but let's not get carried away here.  Ohio State lost to Purdue and Penn State struggled with Illinois - we aren't talking Florida here.  Sadly, they will beat South Dakota State and either Michigan State or Illinois, win six games, and go to a crappy bowl and some fans will point to this as a successful season.  At this point, the only way you could consider this successful is if they run the table, including a win over Iowa, or they win three games with MarQueis Gray at quarterback.  And after his performance Saturday (5-6 passing and the only TD, 81 rushing yards) it's stime to hand over the keys and see what he can do in a full game.  As Buck Bravo wrote over at the Daily Gopher, "Adam Weber's accuracy, decision-making, footwork, ability to recognize defensive schemes, and confidence have regressed."  Couldn't have said it better myself.  Go with Gray - at the very least he's exciting to watch.

2.  Illinois.  Speaking of Illinois, do you realize how god awful this team is?  I didn't.  And I have no idea what happened.  In 2007, they were the hot young team, who went 9-4, including a huge win over Ohio State, and ended up going to the Rose Bowl (where they were stomped by USC).  Sophomore QB Juice Williams looked like he had taken the next step in his development, and was going to lead Illinois football back to national prominence.  2008 started ok, but was a bit disappointing.  With three weeks to play, Illinois was 5-4 with two very winnable games left against Northwestern and Western Michigan, needing just one win to get to a bowl, a disappointing bowl, but a bowl nonetheless.  Instead the Illini dropped all three, with Williams throwing more picks than TDs, getting sacked 9 times, and not scoring a single TD, and they finished the season 5-7, and are still trying to recover.  They lost 24-14 against Purdue on Saturday, which now drops their record to 1-6 on the season, with their lone win over Illinois State.  Williams has thrown more picks than TDs, has yet to break 60 yards rushing in a game, and is dead last in the Big Ten in QB rating and passing yards.  This certainly isn't where I thought the Illini would end up two years ago.

3.  LaDainian Tomlinson.  Last week I used this exact same space to talk about how LT looked better than he had in a couple of years, and maybe he wasn't fully washed up just yet.  Then comes today's game against the Chiefs, and although 23 carries for 71 yards isn't awful, it's the lack of a TD tacked on there that is the horrible part.  Tomlinson, once a goal line runner the rival of Emmitt Smith and Shaun Alexander in their primes, was given the ball eight times inside the five, six of which were from the 2-yard line or closer, and failed to get in the end zone (he did, at least, score on a play that came back due to a penalty).  Today was the kind of game that an in his prime Tomlinson scores 3 or 4 TDs, a good back gets at least two, and an average back scores once - minimum.  I read a game report that the blocking down on the goal line for San Diego was absolutely awful, but in any case this is pretty disappointing, and a big blow to those that were hoping LT was still an above average runner.  

4.  Chicago Bears.  Nice game.  Geez you guys suck.  Take your pick, offense or defense, and there's plenty to discuss.  Defensively, they pretty much let the Bengals do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted.  Carson Palmer could have thrown a touchdown left-handed, but instead decided not to show the Bears up and stayed with the right hand, going 20-24 for 233 yards and five TDs, including two to Ochocinco.  If that's not enough, suddenly completely rejuvenated back Cedric Benson shredded his old team (who betrayed him like Lando Calrissian) for 189 yards and a touch on 37 carries.  The Bengals just did anything they wanted, and never even had to punt.  And just in case you thought maybe the Bears could get into a shootout or something and win, they instead decide to turn the ball over four times (3 on Cutler INTs) on their way to scoring just ten points, aka five touchdowns less than the Bengals.  I think it's safe to say the Vikes don't have to worry about the Bears anymore. 

5.  Cleveland Indians.  Manny freaking Acta?  Seriously?  According to the article, the Indians like how Acta developed young players for the Nationals, and are disregarding his record - one of the worst in baseball history and bad enough that a web site exists called "Has Manny Acta been fired yet".  My question is, exactly who has he developed, outside of Ryan Zimmerman?  Elijah Dukes has been a perpetual disappointment, and Lastings Milledge failed so brilliantly after coming over from the Mets that he was banished to the minors before getting traded to the Pirates.  Wily Mo Pena has gotten worse since joining the Nats.  He didn't screw up Jordan Zimmerman at least, but he hasn't exactly lit the world on fire either.  Well, who am I to complain when they're in the Twins' division.  About the only downside here is that Gardy might not be the worst manager in the AL Central anymore.  


Manny Acta?

Down with Goldy?

If you're reading this for Gopher news or listen to the radio, you are probably already aware of the controversey surrounding Goldy Gopher's actions on Saturday against Penn State.  See below:



Now, the U has already rolled over and issued an apology, which is unfortunate for several reasons, which I will enumerate for you now:

1. This is the only remotely funny, entertaining, or worthwhile thing Goldy has ever done.  They actually had former Goldys call in to KFAN today to discuss this "controversey", and one of them actually used the phrase, "When I was on the team....".  I have no idea if he meant the football team or the cheerleading team, but either way it's ridiculous.  As a mascot, you are to do two things - make kids laugh and act like an idiot.  I don't think there's a team for this, unless you count the damn Shrine Circus.  
2. Sure, the guy was praying.  But he wasn't praying in a church, temple, synogogue, mosque, or even in his own house, he was praying in a football stadium.  If a mascot runs into a church and starts taunting jesus and raises the roof after kicking over an advent wreath, then we can talk.  Hey, if you want we can even say that Goldy was also praying, and evening the score at 1-1 with the Big Wizard in the Sky who cares about football games.
3. I'm guessing this was kind of an accident.  If you notice, Goldy's back is turned when he crosses himself the first time.  As JG (who I think is the Paging Jim Shikenjanski guy, but I'm not sure because I wasn't paying attention to any name change) laid out in the comments section over at The Daily Gopher, I'm pretty sure he started out just kneeling to mock the PSU guy, then realized he was praying and was kind of stuck.  Plus, he's a mascot.  He's a damn mascot, who the hell cares what he does?  
4. Nobody really cared.  I was planning on posting a bunch of links to articles with people being outraged, but I can't find anybody who was.  Reactions are pretty much either "Meh, no big whoop", or "It was a mistake but no big deal", or "I hate Minnesota and I'm glad they lost and/or look bad" (this one was mostly from Iowa fans).  Serious question, if nobody cares, why do you need to issue an apology?  I'm seriously embarrassed that the U felt the need to apologize for this.   

I don't know why I care though.  Any step we can take to get closer to a Goldy-less world is a step I want to be a part of.  On second thought, I'm OUTRAGED!


As long as I'm here I might as write a couple more things to give you something to do instead of work for a few more minutes

-  Big East preview coming on Friday.  Sneak peek - I LOVE Cincinnati this year.

-  I keep trying to figure out why I can't get into the MLB playoffs this year, and I think it's because I don't care, either way.  Every year there's always somebody to root for (Rockies, Rays) or root against (Red Sox), but I just don't have that this year, which is slightly alarming because the Yankees are still involved.  I don't know exactly when I lost my hate for them, but I have a feeling it's right about the time Red Sox fans got so obnoxious that I started hating that team instead.  I'm actually pretty glad that the Yankees are doing well and A-Rod is coming up huge, because maybe idiots will finally start appreciated that we're watching maybe the best right-handed hitter in history right here.  Or maybe I've just gone soft.   

- Huh.  I would have thought I'd more to say, yet here we are and I got nothing.

I don't want.....your squid (Live Movie Blog)

It's been a while my friends, but I'm back with another live movie blog, and don't even try to pretend like you didn't miss it, because I know you damn well did.  After an excellent day of softballing, in which we played in the State Tournament and beat the #1 team in the state 10-9 in Game 1 and then kicked the crap out of a bunch of kids from the same high school I went too 20-3, I deserve a few drinks to relax.  Relax and watch an awesome movie.  This time we are going to take on another squid movie, which, after Kraken:  Tentacles of the Deep seems like a pretty stupid idea.  I am encouraged by this one, however, because it stars the one, the only, the magnificently cannon-armed, nimble-footed, Ivy League Smart Jonathan Moxon aka Dawson Leary aka James Vanderbeek.  Yes, I'm being serious.  For real, look it up.  He plays Dan Leland in Eye of the Beast (which is what I'm about to start watching).  That career is in rough shape, bro.  But Dawson was quite the movie buff, so he wouldn't star in a bad movie that totally lets me down, right?

-  Interestingly (well, more like predictably), this one starts just like Kraken did, with a couple trying to enjoy naughty time in a boat in the middle of the ocean.  She hears a noise, he says you're imagining things and tries for second base, she denies him and says she heard a noise again, he looks around and says there's nothing there, then they see an otter and assume that's what made the noise, and then they both get eaten by a squid.  Only difference this time?  The horny jock dude threw an empty beer bottle into the ocean first.  So Litter causes death.  Al Gore would be proud.

-  Oh, and also what tells me this movie is totally classy is that before the squid ate them, they were making out and it's tentacle came onto the boat and felt the chick's leg and she thought it was the guy trying to get to third base.  Classy.

-  Oh right, I haven't given the summary yet.  Here it is, "A scientist tries to stop a giant squid from killing residents of a small town."  Oof.  They didn't even make an effort.

-  That chick who got eaten apparently has no parents, and her brother is in charge of the family now.  I know this because he called the cops when she didn't come home last night and says things like, "She's my sister, man." and "Without mom and dad, I'm in charge of her now."

-  MOX!!!!  The Mox is here.  Sling that pill Mox, sling that pill!

-  He's got to be "the scientist" from the summary, right?  Also we just learned from a stereotypical creepy old man with an eye patch that this island (they're on a island, of course) is famous for the legend of the sea monster that patrols the waters around it.  And yes, Dawson is the scientist.  This movie is moving quickly.  Hopefully we get to the killins.

-  And he's got a beard.

-  Ah, we get a little backstory.  Dawson is there to figure out why there are no fish around the island and the fisherman can't make a living.  The fisherman are all bitter at the Indians, believing it is their fault since they can "catch whatever they want with no permits, some tribal right's crap."  Sounds like we'll get some good ole fashioned racism.  And for some reason that isn't explained, the fisherman are also mad at a scientist showing up - a scientist whose job it is to research the issues they are having and help them get back their livelihood.  Once again, logic and reason lose to a hastily written script - I assume scribed on either a napkin or some sort of cracker.

-  Did you know Captain Morgan is only 70 proof?  Real alcohol is 80 proof.  That really rocks my world.

-  Some poor dumb bastard just got eaten.  But he got eaten when he was standing on shore, and so the squid glided up to five feet from shore or so.  Meaning either the squid has no body, this part of the ocean drops off to about 10 feet right off of shore, or once again logic and reason lose.  Let's just choose B, which has at least a possibility of being true.

-  Looks like there's a full moon, and the Mox Boat is still out on the water.  I suppose it's too much to ask that Mox could turn into a werewolf.  God that would be sweet.

-  Ok, so they just found the destroyed boat from the opening scene, as well as the dead dude who it seems didn't get eaten.  Based on everything else so far, including the fisherpeople's complete disregard for science or facts, I'm going to predict that Mox tries to tell everybody it's a squid but the town's people and fishermen won't believe him.  Sort of like trying to talk to Dawger about Cal Ripken, actually.

-  Oh for christ's sake he's alive.  He's been out there at least a full day and night, and it's fall wherever they are (gotta either be the pacific northwest or the northeast) and it's cold because everyone is wearing stocking caps and big ole jackets, yet no ill effects suffered by being in the water 24 hours.  Nevermind, he only snapped awake long enough to cryptically say, "A monster...." and then died again. 

- So the sheriff, there's a female sheriff helping Mox if I forgot to mention that, is half-Injun, with a full Injun mother.  A minority sheriff on an island spilling over with racial tension and poorness?  It's like we're sitting on top of a powder keg here people, one little spark could cause an explosion the likes of which hasn't been seen since Nagasaki.  Powder.  Effing.  Keg.

-  Dawson - a marine biologist, mind you - is now researching the giant squid.  Using google.  I am 100% serious.  I'm just surprised they don't spring wikipedia on us too.  Actually, everything I've written on here before about giant squids is probably more scientificaly accurate, so maybe DWG will pop up on the Mox's computer.  His honey Darcy has been on here a couple of times.

-  Indian sheriff lady to Mox, "I'm heading over to the east shore to investigate a missing tourist, if you're up for it."  Mox, "I'm up for anything."  You sly dog.

-  Boring chit chat, minor flirting, bunch of drinks, sheriff let's her hair down and looks kind of hot suddenly, major flirting, Dawson accidentally starts a race riot between the indians and whiteys.  Yawn.  This might be the most boring one yet.

-  Some 700-year old man fishing finds a severed leg, which I guess is supposed to have come from the squid's first girl victim, confirming for the guy who had to raise her after his "Parents are gone, man!  They're gone and she's all I have!" that she is, in fact, dead.  Nice job raising her, paco.  Maybe you shouldn't let her go out on strange boats with Rapey McGroperson.  It's a fact that squid hate pre-marital sex.

-  Speaking of pre-marital sex, how hot was Courtney Thorne-Smith in Summer School?  Dear Lord.  Actually, that's a pretty good movie all the way around.  Plus Mark Harmon gallivants around the whole time with his chest hair hanging out.  You should probably rent it.   In case that's not enough from you, the chick who played Alotta Fagina and this chick are also in it:

-  Wait wait wait just wait a minute.  I have just learned, and there's a good chance they said this earlier when I wasn't paying attention, that they are actually on a freshwater lake.  So essentially, not only is this the first-ever freshwater squid in history, but it also happens to be a giant.  Dawson, of course, theorizes it could be an architeuthis, which is straight up incorrect because that is a genus of saltwater squid, and if they suddenly found a freshwater giant squid it would be a whole new genus and probably family and even order as well.  Hooray for science.

-  Mox just claimed that there are freshwater squid documented in Florida.  Hold on.

-  Hmm.  I found a site that has a whole breakdown of the history, physiology, and habits of a freshwater squid found in Florida called "The Mayfly Squid."  But I also found one that dismisses all freshwater squid talk as urban legends, dilluision, and wishful thinking, so I'm not sure what to think.  Unfortunately that already took like 10 minutes, during which I'm sure I missed several important plot points, so I won't be able to research further, lest I fall too far behind.

-  BACKSTORY - Injun sheriff lady saw her dad get killed by a giant squid all those years ago in this same lake, so now she holds a grudge and that's why everyone thinks she's crazy and that there's no squid here at all.  I think they did this with Jerry O'Connell's brother in that other squid movie I already blogged.

-  Holy crap was that awesome.  Some douchebag and his ugly wife were having a heart to heart about if they could stay on the island anymore what with the fishing sucking and no money and all that and in the middle of their sappy little hug and shit the squid attacked out of nowhere.  So awesome.  Of course, they got away after the dude sliced part of a tentacle off.  He then brought it to the bar, apparently the only one on the island, and showed everybody there saying, "The Fells Island Monster is real!"  Then everybody ran to get their boats to go after it.  Kind of like in Jaws when all the boats are around looking for the shark, but with more inbreds.

-  Then Dawson goes and finds indian lady (she wasn't at the bar, she was getting drunk at home) and drops this line, "We're gonna need two boats."  I can't decide if that's an homage or a rip-off, but either way it's his best line since "I don't want..yo' life."

-  By the way, it was total bullshit that the Twins didn't bring back Mo Sanford (whose page we sponsor at Baseball Reference) for any of the Metrodome festivities.  Total bullcrap.

-  There's been a god awful amount of lead up to this stupid squid.  It better be worth it.

-  I'm too tired to explain what stupid thing just happened, but let's just say it's impossible to see a giant squid in a tiny lake in the Pacific Northwest with a satellite.

-  So here's the big plan.  Mox and Injun Jane have their precious two boats, one captained by the redneck fisher dorks and the other captained by the Injuns, in a perfect display of the racial harmony and coming together that plagues low-rent, poorly written movies and they plan to net the squid between the two boats and "keep it at the surface so it's bouyancy sensors are disoriented and it will be helpless."  What?  I have no idea what that means, but it sounds a lot like the "if we turn on this strobe light it will make that shark jump in the air and we can ram it" plan from Jaws IV.  I'm just praying for this to end at this point.  Preferably with no boat ramming of any kind.

-  American Psycho is on IFC right now.  I actually own it on DVD, but I'm still quite tempted to flip over instead of finishing this.  Just 25 minutes left according to Tivo.

-  PRIVATE MESSAGE TO The Todd:  You mentioned on here once that there were some "adult" pictures of that chick from the Big Bang Theory.  I have been unable to locate.  Plz hlp.

-  The Squid is approaching.  Fisherman guy:  "That's no boat.  That's a space station."

-  Squid rammed Dawson's boat, somehow making the boat stop moving and creating more smoke than that time I tried to warm up a Wendy's Junior Bacon Cheeseburger while still in it's foil wrapper.  Man, was that a mistake.  Almost as bad as the time I tried to heat water in the microwave to make cup o' noodles for lunch, but I tried to warm it up in a cup that was partially metal.  Yeah, I'm not really all that great with microwaves.

-  Pretty sure A-Rod has shirked that "not clutch" label, yes?

-  I feel like this Live Movie Blog is devolving a bit, you?  The squid is attacking and there's a lot of yelling but I'm not really paying attention because I'm writing about my troubles with microwaves.  Speaking of waves, did you know if you turn your tv to a channel you don't get and you see that white static, a small part of those waves coming through are left-over from the Big Bang?  I'm totally not making that up.  Some dudes won the Nobel Prize for that.

-  The boat full of indians is the one what that got attacked.  There are no more indians now.  Squid boy did quite a number there, quite a number.  I think the plan of trapping the squid in a net between two boats is probably out the window at this point.  You know, cuz they only have one boat.

-  Wow, this baseball game just won't end.  Angels and Yanks heading to the 12th.

-  I'm not sure what the plan is now, but it appears to be:  fishermen hack at tentacles and then get eaten, indian lady gets her shirt wet, and Mox does something in the control room while never putting himself in danger.  Shit dude, that would be my plan.  Why would I give two shits about some rednecks and some red faces?  Let the squid be, my brother, let the squid be.

-  By the way, all we ever see of the squid are tentacles, which are clearly made out of plaster.  This is a real let down.  They didn't even bother showing the squid at any point.

-  Oh.  There it is.  Traditionally a giant squid is described as having eyes the size of dinner plates.  This one's are the size of a car.  But the good news is, it can be killed by some indian lady throwing a harpoon into it's eye.  Feels like a Nintnedo game, no?  Oh, the end boss is indestructible - unless of course you hit it in the freaking eye ball with a harpoon.  The same harpoon you had to get from the elvish king in the forest of enchanted unicorns by beating the cyclops, but only after you make sure and get the golden sword from the Dark Wizard of the forbidden cave.

-  OMG.  That's so dumb.  After the squid is dead, they go ahead and manufacture even more drama by having the indian lady have her leg get caught in the anchor rope of all things.  Dawson jumps in and saves her and then they make out in the water.  Her leg got caught in the anchor rope and pulled her over board.  Honestly I have no words at this point, so thank god that's the end.  Despite actually probably the best acting of any of these movies I've blogged on here, the plot and effects and writing were unforgiveable.  Not worth it.  Don't be brave and try to rent this.  I promise it's not worth it.  I've been putting off blogging "Giant Octopus vs. Mega Shark" because I know it's going to be a classic and I'm building up the anticipation, but I may need to turn to it next.  Check back next time.

Mauer for MVP?

Before I get to "Can Joe Mauer win the MVP?" how crazy was the end of the PGA? Going into today's final round, three players have a realistic chance at winning: Tiger Woods at -8, Padraig Harrington at -6, and Y.E. Yang at -6, with a whole bunch of other people who would need an amazing day to get into the conversation. Well, nobody even bothered to break 70, Harrington shot a +6 to drop completely out of contention, and Yang and Tiger went head-to-head (they were playing partners today) and Tiger is the one who blinked.

After Yang's chip in for Eagle at 14 to give him a 1 shot lead, Tiger had plenty of chances to at least make a run at tying it up, but coughed them up. He flubbed a 5-Wood trying to get home in two at the par-5 fifteenth, then missed the green on all three closing holes. Yang even tried to help him out by bogeying seventeen, but Tiger went ahead and bogied as well. Just an incredible thing. I won't quite jump on the "Tiger has lost his mystique" bandwagon, but it was pretty mind blowing watching the best, most intense, nerves-of-steel competitor I've ever seen (outside of Scott Norwood, of course) choke away the championship, playing at a similar level and making the same mistakes he's watched his Sunday playing partners make time after time. I'm still in a little bit of shock.

I also want to mention that Rory McIroy has the absolute hottest girlfriend on the PGA Tour. Just sick hot. Anyway, back to the question, "Can Joe Mauer win the MVP award on a losing team?"

Now, it can be done and has been before. Maybe most famously by the Hawk, Andre Dawson, who won in 1987 with the Cubs, putting up a line of .287/.328/.568 with 49 home runs (in an era when nobody hit that many) and 137 rbi for a team that finished 76-85 and dead last in the division, 18.5 games out of first. Of course, Jack Clark probably should have won the MVP that year, and he played for a division winner, so the writers don't always follow any kind of recognizable logic. That will actually play in Mauer's favor - everybody likes him. Personal bias doesn't seem to affect baseball MVP voting as much as other sports (see Bonds with 7 MVPs and Jeff Kent actually won one), but it certainly won't hurt Golden Joe.

Of course, in recent years the trend has been to only give the MVP award to someone on a division winner, with the asinine argument that the award should go to the most valuable player and not the best player and that a great player on a bad team can't be valuable, so that doesn't help since this Twins squad might be the worst baseball team in the league since the Twins of 1999. I took a look at the AL MVP winners going back to 1990, and the team's the winners played on won their division 15 times, with another two wild card winners. That mean's there were two AL MVPs on teams that didn't win their division; 1991 Cal Ripken, and 2002 Alex Rodriguez.

Ripken's Orioles were 67-95, and finished 24 games out of first place. Ripken definitely deserved the award that year, as he was clearly the best player in the league. He put up .323/.374/.566, with 34 homers and 116 rbi, finishing in the top five in pretty much every category. Frank Thomas could make an argument, with a better OBP and OPS, but Ripken has him in every other category.

A-Rod's win in 2003 isn't quite as clear cut. He definitely had an outstanding year, hitting for .298/.396/.600 with 47 homers and 118 rbi for the 71-91 Rangers, while Carlos Delgado of the 86-76 Blue Jays hit .302/.426/.593 with 42 and 145. I have no idea why A-Rod won this one, but it goes to show that a player can win the MVP while playing for a losing team, even if he isn't the best player in the league that season (as 2 of the 3 I just looked at weren't).

Of course, it can go the other way too. You just have to look back at 2006, when David Ortiz should have won the award going away, but ended up finishing third behind Morneau and Derek Jeter, simply because the Red Sox missed the playoffs. A similar thing happened in 2004, too, this time to Manny Ramirez. His team didn't win the division (although they did win the Wild Card) and he lost MVP to Vlad Guerrero despite having superior numbers. And that seems to be the way the major sports are trending to go with their MVP awards in the past 10 years, but that A-Rod outlier means you can't rule it out just yet.

Is Mauer's season good enough to win? Right now, before today's game where once again I got to watch a Twins' starter completely implode and not bother to get out of the third, he is hitting .378/.446/.630. He also has 22 home runs, and 73 rbi through May, June, July, and almost exactly half of August. If we roughly project those out, we can reasonably expect Mauer to finish with 31 homers and 104 rbi. He is currently leading the league in batting average, on-base percentage, and slugging (and obviously OPS) - simply incredible, and maybe the best season a catcher has ever had.

.378 would be the highest batting average ever by a catcher (since Lave Cross's .394 in 1894). His .446 OBP would be the highest by a catcher since Mickey Cochrane's .452 in 1935, and the third best since 1900. Even his .630 slugging, long considered a weak point of his game, would rank third-best by a catcher ever, behind just 2003 Javy Lopez and 1997 Mike Piazza. All this leads up to an OPS of 1.076 - the best number a catcher has ever put up.

Even his home runs are nothing to dismiss, as if he hits 31 it would be the 31st most in a season by a catcher, and he would become just the 26th catcher to hit 30 in a season. And I'm tired of manually counting stuff up, but those 104 rbi would rank similarly in the history of catchers.

The only season that comes close is Mike Piazza's 1997, universally recognized as the best hitting season a catcher has ever had. That year Piazza hit .362/.431/.638 with 40 homers and 124 rbi, and finished second in the league in both OPS and MVP voting to Larry Walker. When you add in that Piazza had a noodle-arm, and Mauer is regarded as excellent defensively (not to mention his creepily squeaky-clean off the field reputation) there is little doubt Mauer is currently having the greatest season for a catcher in the history of baseball.

We've shown it's tough to win on a losing team, although it can be done, but we've also shown that Mauer is making history. He will have some obstacles, especially in that his three top rivals for the award either play in the cities that all media love (Youkilis and Texeira) or play on his own team and might steal votes (Morneau) but make no mistake, we are absolutely watching one of the most incredible seasons anyone has put together, and that should be enough for him to win.

Week 11 NFL Picks

So of course, after having a great week at 11-2 in week 9, I follow it up by going 3-11 in week 10. Stupid gambling. Couple things:

1. The Gophers right now are ranked as the #15 recruiting class in the country for next season. How badass is that? Sure, there are plenty of unsigned guys who can move the rankings up and down, but some of those unsigned guys have interest in the Gophers. Devoe Joseph is looking good, the competition for him sounds like it's Vanderbilt (yeah right, nobody goes to Vanderbilt) and Kansas, but Kansas already signed a SG for this class, and are chasing another one ahead of Devoe. I can't believe the impact Tubby Smith has had already. I knew he would turn the program around, but I didn't think he'd be able to swoop in and pick up a top 20 class in his first season. Awesome, just awesome.

2. Heading to Chicago tomorrow for a weekend of too much drinking with Maddog and JC. Arriving tomorrow at 1:30 and leaving Sunday at 6:00. It's very possible I may be drunk for 48+ consecutive hours. My biggest concern is being to drunk to drive home from the airport after the short flight. Good thing somebody is picking me up. Also going to check out the Northwestern @ DePaul basketball game on Saturday, so I'll have a killer scouting report on the Wildcats.

3. I seriously can't take all the anti-A-Rod crap anymore. Seriously, the guy is the best hitter in the majors today, maybe ever. Yes, his career postseason numbers don't match his regular season numbers, but keep in mind it's a small sample size. 61% of fans in an ESPN.com poll said they wouldn't want A-Rod on their team. If the reason is monetary, and you have a limited budget and need to get more help than just one player, that I can understand. But if your reasons are anything to do with clutchness, chemistry, or David Eckstein-ness, you should stop watching baseball.

4. College hoops lines for today (went 3-4 yesterday after adding two late Pac10 games, making the season 5-10):

Arkansas -15 vs. Charleston (W)
UCONN -14 vs. Gardner-Webb (L)
Michigan +14.5 @ Georgetown (L)
Utah St +3 @ Cal-Poly (L)
Miami -10 vs. Marist (W)
Memphis -7.5 vs. Oklahoma (W)
Oregon St -6 vs. Colorado St. (L)

On to the picks:

Cincinnati -3 vs. Arizona: I still don't really trust Cincinnati. They won at Baltimore last week, but that may have been more of a function of the Ravens sucking so bad. They weren't able to get in the endzone, winning with 7 FGs, and couldn't run the ball, only 2.1 per rush. But Arizona is a terrible road team, and with Rudi back, maybe the whole Cincy offense is back as well. We'll find out.

Carolina +9.5 @ Green Bay: Nine and a half points, huh? Wow. That was the Vikings they just stomped, not a real NFL team.

Baltimore +2.5 vs. Cleveland: Well, it looks like Vegas has finally caught on, and realized the Ravens suck. Only problem is, I think they went too far. Baltimore is still the kind of team that can win at home, and Cleveland is not a very good road team, despite hanging in against the Steelers last week.

Indianapolis -14.5 vs. Kansas City: After the past two weeks, you just have to feel like Indy is going to explode on somebody, and the Chiefs feel about right. This would be a great pick in a survivor type league, if I only hadn't gotten bounced out by the flippin' Saints losing last week to damn winless Rams at home. That should have been in the bag, no problem. Dumb.

Miami +10 @ Philadelphia: Philly shouldn't be favored by 10 over anybody.

New Orleans +1 @ Houston: The Saints loss to the Rams made very little sense. It made so little sense, that the only way to explain it is that it was a fluke thing, and just to pretend it never happened. Also, this is where Reggie Bush and Ron Dayne get to meet up and talk about how awesome they were in college and try to figure out why they both suck in the NFL.

Oakland +5 @ Minnesota: T-Jax back at QB, no AP, and a pissed off Daunte Culpepper ready to take it out on a Vikings secondary that gives up career passing days to pretty much any QB who plays them. In his revenge game against Miami, he accounted for five TDs - even with only 75 passing yards. How much does this Peterson injury suck? I mean, Chuck Taylor is a good runner and all, but AP was clearly on a whole other level. He was the first Viking since Moss left who gave you that feeling that the Vikes could score on any play. There is really zero reason to even watch this team the rest of the year until he gets back.

San Diego +3 @ Jacksonville: I refuse to believe that the Jaguars are a good team.

Tampa -3 @ Atlanta: It wasn't that long ago it looked like Tampa might be a nice sleeper, now everybody's has forgotten about them. And, after Atlanta has won two straight with Joey Harrington, they're going to go back to Leftwich this week. Sounds like a disaster.

Detroit +2.5 vs. NY Giants: This game is going to tell us a tremendous amount about the Lions. If they win, they go to 7-3, continue their home dominance, take the driver's seat for a wild card spot, and if they win 2 of their 3 remaining home games, even if they lose all their road games, they are at 9 wins. If they lose, not only does it hurt the record, but they've become a fringe playoff team, who can't handle the big boys even at home, and still struggles on the road. So, yeah, they should try to win.

NY Jets +9.5 vs. Pittsburgh: I can't give 9.5 on the road in the NFL unless the Patriots, Colts, Dolphins, or Falcons are involved.

Dallas -10.5 vs. Washington: I think I've alternated all year thinking Washington was garbage, then a contender, then garbage, then a contender. This week I'm pretty sure they're garbage.

St. Louis -2.5 @ San Fran: How bad are you if you are an underdog at home against a team that just won it's first game in week 10? Wow. I caught some of the Monday Night whilst drinking in the hotel, and Alex Smith looks god awful. If the Niners offered Smith straight up for T-Jax, I'm not sure you pull the trigger.

Chicago +5.5 @ Seattle: Hey Seattle, congratulations on destroying the 49ers. Guess what? You still suck.

Buffalo +16 vs. New England: I know, it's crazy to pick against New England at this point, but I have three good reasons:
1) Giving sixteen points to a home dog is insane. This doesn't matter that much in this case because the Patriots have already covered a similar spread @ Miami.
2) The last time the Bills had a home game against a heavy favorite, they battled the Cowboys and probably should have won until an improbable collapse at the end of the game. Who's to say they can't do it again.
3) I know Bill Belicheck is the jesus of football coaches and what not, but don't you think there's going to be some inevitable let down here? I know they have been rolling through the season sending a message and smashing people's heads, but in some way, didn't it feel like it was all leading up to the Colts game? There has to be an automatic sense of relaxation and exhalation a little bit now that it's in the books, no? And I know they had the bye week to get it out of their system, but I can't help but think it's still there. You'll see.

Denver -2 vs. Tennessee: I honestly just flipped a coin here. These two teams are completely unpredictable. And this whole Travis Henry thing, what if it somehow turns out that he is innocent? Every single positive pot test from here on out will end up in a three month circus, even if the guy is dead guilty. How intriguing.

FYI - From the time I started this post until now (I got distracted by stupid work) - Miami has outscored Marist 64-36, and there are ten minutes left. 1-0 is looking good.

LAST WEEK: 3-9
SEASON: 69-64-9

Week 9 NFL Picks

1. On Sportscenter yesterday, two people were actually arguing over which was the bigger loss, Schilling from the Red Sox or A-Rod from the Yankees. Seriously. I don't want to get into a whole thing here, but looking at runs created vs. the average player (or runs prevented for Schilling) it's about the same differential as asking which would be the bigger loss for the Twins: losing Morneau AND Cuddyer, or losing Nick Punto. Dumbest argument ever.

2. I heard the Rockies owner say he still thinks his team is better than the Red Sox. Dude, you got swept by a combined score of 29-10. Give it up.

3. Please, please, please let the Twins trade Santana. They aren't going to spend the money and make the signings to be a world series contender, so trade your best piece when you get can three top-tier prospects for him. And do it now, in the off-season, don't wait until the trade deadline approaches when you have zero leverage. Just do it. Or sign A-Rod.

On to the picks:

Tennessee -4 vs. Carolina: The Titans just seem to get it done, especially at home. Carolina is 4-0 on the road this year, but it's against the Rams, Falcons, Saints (when they sucked), and Arizona.

Buffalo +1 vs. Cincinnati: I have zero idea what happened to the Bengals, although if all the Chad Johnson drama gets him traded, I know a few teams that could use him.

Detroit -3 vs. Denver: The Lions are 5-2, and I'm a believer. With Kevin Jones back, they have a really stellar offensive attack. Their defense still gives up yards and points, but when the Broncos' top offensive weapons are Cutler, Selvin Young, and Brandon Marshall they can shut them down. The shut down the Bears, and are Griese, Benson, and Berrian really that much worse that what Denver has?

Green Bay +2 @ Kansas City: Not really sure why. Guess I don't think the Chiefs are anything special, even at home, and the Pack are the kind of team this year that keeps finding ways to win.

New Orleans -3.5 vs. Jacksonville: Brees and company will face a tougher test to see if their offense is really back in Jacksonville versus the past few weeks. And consider me not a believer in Quinn Gray or whoever the Jags QB is, still not sure how they beat Tampa last week. Also, nice to see Colston show up this year.

San Diego -7 @ Minnesota: I know the Vikes have stayed close in most of their losses this year, but San Diego has really hit their stride since that near disastrous start. Plus, I don't even know who the Vikes QB is going to be, but I know whoever it is he can't throw anything more complicated that a 7-yard out (unless it's Jeff George). Also, when you can't throw at all, and teams are stacking the box to take away your best player, why not try a screen pass or two, and maybe a swing out to flat to get him the ball with some room to run? AP total catches last week = 0.

Atlanta -3 vs. San Fran: Yuck. I'll take the home team and the points.

Washington -3.5 @ NY Jets: Redskins shouldn't have a problem bouncing back from that ass-handing from the Patriots. They were embarrassed and will be angry, and have a nice juicy Jets' defense to take out their frustrations on.

Tampa -3.5 vs. Arizona: Somehow the Bucs lose at home to the Jags and Quinn Gray? Huh. I'm going to call that a weird aberration. Plus, Arizona - other than a weird fluky win over the Steelers, has been brutal.

Cleveland -1 vs. Seattle: I'm a believer in the Browns, and I think the Seahawks are garbage. This is a pretty easy call.

Houston +3 @ Oakland: Another crap factory of a game. The Raiders seem just slightly more screwed up right now than the Texans

Dallas -3 @ Philly: It's always a little scary taking a road favorite in a division/rivalry game, but Philly is crap.

Indianapolis +6 vs. New England: You realize the Colts are the defending champs, are undefeated, and are at home, right? Have to take them on general principle. This line also opened at 3, and is now at 6, so people are hammering the Patriots. As you should know by now, people are idiots. There will be a nice post up shortly from The Sidler breaking down this game.

Pittsburgh -9 vs. Baltimore: Baltimore is bad. Steelers are good. This should be the game that finally exposes just how bad the Ravens actually are.

Last Week: 5-8
Season: 55-51-9