Weekend Review - 10/26/2009

 I'm going to avoid talkinmg about the Vikes I think, just because you could come up with five things that were awesome and five things that sucked just from that game without even trying.  AP is ridiculously good and Childress is still an idiot.  Seriously, you're going to pass twice from the 1-yard line and then kick an 18 yard field goal when you have the best back in football?  Arg.  But, it's an AFC/NFC game, and I didn't really expect the Vikes to win in the first place, so I'm not too worried about it.  There are plenty of other things to talk about.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  The Twins.  Season's over, but the Twins manage to get in here thanks to their actually spending some money and dipping into the foreign player market.  In case you missed it, and most people did thanks to the miracle comeback and subsequent sweep, Bill Smith went out and signed Miguel Angel Sano, who, according to that article from ESPN, is considered by many to be the top teenage prospect in Latin America (he claims he's 16, but it's Latin America so he could be anywhere from 14 to 30).  He's a shortstop who is already 6-3, 200 lbs, so odds are he will end up being moved to third or the outfield, but apparently his bat is good enough for that not to matter.  The Twins coughed up $3.15 million for a bonus to sign Sano, which is the second most ever given to a Dominican player and a veritable fortune for the Twins.  For more on Sano, as well as the Twins other aggressive moves this offseason you may have missed, check out this post by the Jesus of Twins bloggers, Aaron Gleeman. 

2.  A-Rod.  I wrote this here before, but I'll say it again - I'm incredibly happy A-Rod is having the postseason he is, because now idiots may finally start appreciating maybe the best right handed hitter in history.  I won't get into a whole big argument here, maybe I'll save that for another post sometime, but he's definitely in the conversation, yet all the morons in the media and idiot fans can ever talk about is his "postseason choking" - now they won't have that to fall back on.  After going 2-2 last night (with 3 walks), A-Rod has a hit in every single game this postseason, with an RBI in every game except one and a total line of .438/.538/.969.  Just an incredible run, and if that's not enough to shut up the morons, I don't know what to tell you.    

3.  TCU.   Both BYU and Boise State had claims to being the best non-BCS conference team in the country at different points this season, but after Saturday's 38-7 shellacking that the Horned Frogs put on BYU, they're looking like the best bet to break up the BCS party.  Not only did they smoke the Cougars, but they did it in Provo, and did it by shutting down a very good QB in BYU's Max Hall, who threw for just 162 yards on 18-28 passing.  I haven't had a chance to actually watch TCU this year, so I don't know if they can hang with Florida or Alabama, but this win is a pretty compelling argument, as is their early season win over Clemson.  At 7-0 and with easy games left outside of a November 14th match up against Utah, they should be looking at a BCS bowl.

4.  The Colts and the Saints.  Both remained undefeated, and both showed why they are the favorites to make it to the Super Bowl, although they did it in very different ways.  The Colts just came out and stomped the piss out of the far inferior Ram, jumping out to a quick 14-3 lead on the way to a 42-6 win in which Peyton Manning barely had to break a sweat, while Marc Bulger continued to spiral down the drain.  The Saints had a rougher go, falling behind 24-3 to the Dolphins and looking lost, before a Miami fumble with time winding down in the first half changed their fortunes.  The Saints scored with five seconds remaining in the half, and used that as a springboard to a huge second half where they outscored Miami 26-10 and ended up winning 46-34, thanks to Drew Brees bouncing back from a horible start and leading them on three consecutive scoring drives of over 60 yards in the second.  If it does end up being these two in the Super Bowl, and it looks like there's a good chance it will, we might be looking at the highest scoring Super Bowl ever.  I'm thinking like, 55-52.  Sweet.

5.  Ryan Anderson.  White boy can ball folks.  I loved Anderson at Cal, but wasn't really sure how his game would translate to the NBA, but after catching part of the Magic's preseason game on Friday night, I'm sold.  It was a rare chance for me to get to the bar, and they happened to have the game on for a little while before they felt the need to change every single TV in the place to the shitty Gopher hockey game, and he's not only good, but he's aggressive.  In like six minutes of play he took 4 or 5 shots, inside and outside, and hit a couple of deep threes and got a put back or two.  Checking the preseason stats, he's averaged 14 points and 4 rebounds while shooting 49% overall and 56% from three.  He was decent with the Nets last year, but no where near this good.  Everybody thought Vince Carter was the jewel of that trade, but the "throw-in" of Anderson might end up being the most significant part of that deal (which I already mentioned somewhere on this blog after the trade was made).         


WHO SUCKED

1.  Gopher football. I know I am hard on Gopher football when I accidentally pay attention to it, but jeezum was that awful.  Following up a 20-0 loss to Penn State with a 38-7 shellacking by Ohio State in a game that wasn't even that close is a good way to lose your fan base, and plant your coach firmly on the hot seat.  And yes, I understand those are two of the top teams in the conference, but let's not get carried away here.  Ohio State lost to Purdue and Penn State struggled with Illinois - we aren't talking Florida here.  Sadly, they will beat South Dakota State and either Michigan State or Illinois, win six games, and go to a crappy bowl and some fans will point to this as a successful season.  At this point, the only way you could consider this successful is if they run the table, including a win over Iowa, or they win three games with MarQueis Gray at quarterback.  And after his performance Saturday (5-6 passing and the only TD, 81 rushing yards) it's stime to hand over the keys and see what he can do in a full game.  As Buck Bravo wrote over at the Daily Gopher, "Adam Weber's accuracy, decision-making, footwork, ability to recognize defensive schemes, and confidence have regressed."  Couldn't have said it better myself.  Go with Gray - at the very least he's exciting to watch.

2.  Illinois.  Speaking of Illinois, do you realize how god awful this team is?  I didn't.  And I have no idea what happened.  In 2007, they were the hot young team, who went 9-4, including a huge win over Ohio State, and ended up going to the Rose Bowl (where they were stomped by USC).  Sophomore QB Juice Williams looked like he had taken the next step in his development, and was going to lead Illinois football back to national prominence.  2008 started ok, but was a bit disappointing.  With three weeks to play, Illinois was 5-4 with two very winnable games left against Northwestern and Western Michigan, needing just one win to get to a bowl, a disappointing bowl, but a bowl nonetheless.  Instead the Illini dropped all three, with Williams throwing more picks than TDs, getting sacked 9 times, and not scoring a single TD, and they finished the season 5-7, and are still trying to recover.  They lost 24-14 against Purdue on Saturday, which now drops their record to 1-6 on the season, with their lone win over Illinois State.  Williams has thrown more picks than TDs, has yet to break 60 yards rushing in a game, and is dead last in the Big Ten in QB rating and passing yards.  This certainly isn't where I thought the Illini would end up two years ago.

3.  LaDainian Tomlinson.  Last week I used this exact same space to talk about how LT looked better than he had in a couple of years, and maybe he wasn't fully washed up just yet.  Then comes today's game against the Chiefs, and although 23 carries for 71 yards isn't awful, it's the lack of a TD tacked on there that is the horrible part.  Tomlinson, once a goal line runner the rival of Emmitt Smith and Shaun Alexander in their primes, was given the ball eight times inside the five, six of which were from the 2-yard line or closer, and failed to get in the end zone (he did, at least, score on a play that came back due to a penalty).  Today was the kind of game that an in his prime Tomlinson scores 3 or 4 TDs, a good back gets at least two, and an average back scores once - minimum.  I read a game report that the blocking down on the goal line for San Diego was absolutely awful, but in any case this is pretty disappointing, and a big blow to those that were hoping LT was still an above average runner.  

4.  Chicago Bears.  Nice game.  Geez you guys suck.  Take your pick, offense or defense, and there's plenty to discuss.  Defensively, they pretty much let the Bengals do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted.  Carson Palmer could have thrown a touchdown left-handed, but instead decided not to show the Bears up and stayed with the right hand, going 20-24 for 233 yards and five TDs, including two to Ochocinco.  If that's not enough, suddenly completely rejuvenated back Cedric Benson shredded his old team (who betrayed him like Lando Calrissian) for 189 yards and a touch on 37 carries.  The Bengals just did anything they wanted, and never even had to punt.  And just in case you thought maybe the Bears could get into a shootout or something and win, they instead decide to turn the ball over four times (3 on Cutler INTs) on their way to scoring just ten points, aka five touchdowns less than the Bengals.  I think it's safe to say the Vikes don't have to worry about the Bears anymore. 

5.  Cleveland Indians.  Manny freaking Acta?  Seriously?  According to the article, the Indians like how Acta developed young players for the Nationals, and are disregarding his record - one of the worst in baseball history and bad enough that a web site exists called "Has Manny Acta been fired yet".  My question is, exactly who has he developed, outside of Ryan Zimmerman?  Elijah Dukes has been a perpetual disappointment, and Lastings Milledge failed so brilliantly after coming over from the Mets that he was banished to the minors before getting traded to the Pirates.  Wily Mo Pena has gotten worse since joining the Nats.  He didn't screw up Jordan Zimmerman at least, but he hasn't exactly lit the world on fire either.  Well, who am I to complain when they're in the Twins' division.  About the only downside here is that Gardy might not be the worst manager in the AL Central anymore.  


Manny Acta?

Weekend Review - 10/19/2009

I kind of sort of wanted to write about how gopher football sucked this weekend, and a 20-0 whopping by Penn State in which they gained all of 138 yards certainly seems like it might warrant it.  I'm not, though, because I didn't watch the game and although I usually shoot my mouth off without having all the facts, since this is ostensibly a gopher blog, even though it's basketball focused, I'll hold off.  I was going to watch the game, but when I got home from the softball state tournament on Saturday it wasn't on because the Oklahoma/Texas game ran late.  Then when it finally switched over I was busy with Wonderbaby^TM and then it was halftime and then I fell asleep. Go gophers.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Rodney Williams and Blake Hoffarber.  In case you're completely unaware, the Gophers season officially kicked-off Friday night with Midnight Madness, which in this case is called Tubby's Tip-Off and took place at 7:30.  These two get the nod for their big wins in the dunk and 3-point shootout - go ahead and guess who won which contest.  Perhaps more impressive than the Hoff's win was who the runner-up was - Justin Cobbs.  As good a defender as Al Nolen is, it's no secret to anybody with two eyes that his offense was lacking in a big, big way last season.  If it turns out Cobbs can score, even if he can just knock down an open three, that adds another dimension to the offense.  As for Rodney in the dunk contest, do yourself a favor and watch this:

[Video removed because it kept freaking out my browser. You can find it at From the Barn or Gophersports.com or pretty much anywhere. Just make an effort, fatty.]

Turns out those reports that he was an incredible athlete:  ACCURATE.  Additionally, I've read some reports from people who were there (over at the Gopher Hole) and it sounds like Ralph Sampson has bulked up quite a bit this year.  Combine that with the fact that Ralph can run a mile in under six minutes, which I learned straight from Tubby's mouth on the radio, and I don't really see any way he doesn't run away with Big Ten Player of the Year.

If you want some really detailed info on 3-point totals by round, and a thorough report on the scrimmage,  click your mouse device on this hyperlink.

2.  Hakeem Nicks.  He just keeps being awesome, so I just have to keep highlighting him.  In a suddenly crowded group of NY Giant receivers, Nicks keeps putting up good numbers and might have the highest upside of all of them - and that's no slight on the good Steve Smith.  On Sunday he lit up the Saints for 114 and a touch, making this the third straight week he's found the endzone, and, since Eli had a horrid game in the loss, he accounted for 64% of the team's receiving yards.  Smith and Mario Manningham both have more yards receiving this year than Nicks, partially due to Hakeem missing two and a half weeks due to injury, but it's becoming more and more obvious just how talented this kid is.  Steve Smith might end up with better numbers this year, but Manningham is currently being pushed aside, and neither will end up any near as good as Nicks when all their careers are wrapped up.

3.  Sidney Rice.  This guy is an asshole.  I'm sorry, and normally I don't like to use such coarse language in front of a lady (note:  that's you, nancy-boy), but I am required to hate this guy for screwing two of my fantasy teams (yes, I have more than one, kill me). I drafted him in two leagues, and in one of them when I picked him some jackass piped up with "potential will kill you."  Then after two weeks of nothing and looking like less than an afterthought, I had to drop him to make room for other players who were actually playing well.  Well, since then he's been picked up by other retards in my leagues and scored two TDs in the last four weeks, never dipped below 56 yards receiving, and blew up this weekend with a 6 catch, 176 yard game in the Vikes win.  Yeah, well he's too slow to outrun DBs and got caught from behind on what would have been a 70-yard touchdown, so eat it, guys who picked him up.

4.  LaDainian Tomlinson.  Numbers-wise, at first glance LT's performance last night doesn't look that impressive - 19 carries for 70 yards and 3 catches for 30, but two things are worth noting.  First, Denver's defense has been very, very good this year, particularly against the run.  Tomlinson's 70 rushing yards and the second most a back has managed to put up against the Broncos, just barely behind the 76 yards they allowed to Cedric Benson in week one.  Second, and more importantly, this is more about watching the game than the numbers.  Most of last year and this year, Tomlinson has looked slow, tentative, and was unable to either make people miss or break tackles - very similar to Shaun Alexander down towards the end there, and there was quite a bit of talk about how LT might be done.  Watching last night, it appears he might be heading back - not to the lofty heights he had reached previously, but I think he's far from done.  He was quicker than I had seen him in the last couple of years, making several defenders miss, and was making cuts quickly and decisively, much closer to the good LT than the recent LT.  He's not going to be MVP any time soon, but last night was very encouraging.

5.  The Beer Stars.  That's out softball team, and we are awesome.  Took part in the State Tournament this weekend, and ended up walking out with a nice plaque for finishing in fourth place (out of 63 teams).  Keep in mind, this isn't some kind of pansy-ass single elimination garbage like those sissies in the NCAA Tournament, this is double.  That means in order to finish in fourth, we had to win seven games, finishing up with an impressive 7-2 record that included a win over the (now former) #1 team in the state.  Once we got to the final four, I think we were in a different stratosphere.  The team that bounced us walked up and were drinking nothing but water and gatorade, and had warm-up donuts for their bats as well as those heavy warm up bats for the on-deck circle.  Not quite the same attitude we have, as demonstrated by the name "Beer Stars."  It was an excellent two days.  I think Snacks is the only other Beer Star who reads this blog, but if any of the others are out there - congrats fellas.  We kicked some serious ass.



WHO SUCKED

1.  Sam Bradford.  Let me give you people a bit of advice:  If you ever win a Heisman Trophy and are a guaranteed lock for a 1st round pick in the NFL Draft, just go.  Don't be noble.  Don't be loyal.  Don't be idealistic.  Just go.  I'm guessing Bradford's wishing he had done that after getting hurt for the second time this season on Saturday, and this one looks like there's a pretty good chance we're talking season's over here.  After getting his shoulder ripped in half against BYU in the season opener, he made his big triumphant return on Saturday against Texas in the big ole Red River Rivalry game, managed to sling six passes (completing just two) and then had his shoulder ripped off again.  What will this mean for his career?  I don't know.  It's probably not a career ender or anything, but will a team draft a guy who hurt the same shoulder twice in a season with a first round pick?  Seems doubtful.  We're talking a loss of multiple millions here.  All so he could get up and go to class.  Sucker.   

2.  Terrelle Pryor.  Enough with this guy already.  He's a good runner.  That's it.  He's not Michael Vick.  He's not Pat White.  He's not Vince Young (in college).  He's not even Beau Morgan.  He's more like Reggie Bush than anything else - elusive, fast runner who can help his team with his legs, but he is not a quality QB and he showed it again this weekend against Purdue.  Ohio State went in to West Lafayette and got rolled, 26-18 by a Boiler team that had only one other win on the season (against Toledo).  Pryor managed an incredible four turnovers all on his own, not to mention taking a sack on a third-and-five in Purdue territory late in the game with the Buckeyes down eight, and also managed to rush for just 34 yards on 21 attempts.  He's awful.  But you know what's funny?  I just checked, and he actually has a better QB rating than Adam Weber.  Good work Adam.  You're worse than the college equivalent of Tavaris Jackson.     

3.  Tennessee Titans.  Am I completely crazy, or weren't the Titans supposed to be a Super Bowl type contender this year.  Let me check something.  Yep, that's what I thought - they won their division last year.  Seeing as how they have pretty much the same team as last year, I'm guessing that their current 0-6 record is probably a bit of a shock to pretty much everybody.  Not a shock to me though, since I picked them tho finish third in their division.  What is a shock to me is the stats the Titans put up in Sunday's devastatingly embarrassing 59-0 loss to the Patriots.  It's hard to say what was worse, the offense or the defense.  The offense was so bad, that Vince Young was the leading passer for the Titans with a day of 0-2 for 0 yards.  That's because Kerry Collins somehow managed to 2-12 for -7, I have no idea how, which nets out to a QB rating of 4.9, which I assume is some kind of record and they exact opposite of the day the Titans' D let Tom Brady have:  29-34 for 380 yards and 6 TDs, which is a QB rating of 152.8.  He should probalby be in the Awesome portion of this post, but 1) I hate him, and 2) they pulled him for someone named Brian Hoyer who then went 9-11 for 52 yards in his pro debut.  In conclusion, Tennessee sucks worse than this TV movie with Tori Spelling Mrs. W is currently watching.

4.  Hideki Kuroda.  On Sunday for game 3 of the NLCS, Dodgers' manager Joe Torre had a choice:  go with Kuroda or Chad Billingsley.  They had pretty similar numbers on the season (Kuroda 3.76 ERA, 1.14 WHIP, Billingsley 4.03 and 1.32), and I'm sure there are a bunch of other factors that I don't feel like spending the time to research, but it seems he chose incorrectly and Kuroda got shelled, giving up six runs without bothering to get out of the second inning.  Of course, Billingsley didn't do much better in relief and the offense only managed three hits against Cliff Lee, so none of this really mattered, but there's still a valuable lesson here:  you can't trust commies.  Luckily, thanks to the second amendment, every man has the right to bear arms to protect himself from these commies, and the right to Liberty.  Liberty, if you've forgotten, is the soul's right to breath, and without liberty, man is a syncope.     

5.  John David Booty.  Sad news folks.  It's over.  John David Booty was released from the practice squad by the Vikings on Thursday in order to make room for some irrelevant o-lineman.  Seems a little unfair to get rid of a guy who has never thrown a regular season pass, but nobody said Chilly always makes the right decision.  So you people are going to have to give up on your dreams of having discovered a fifth round gem, and I'm going to have to give up on my dreams of using this picture for anything worthwhile:

So it goes.

Weekend Review

WHO WAS AWESOME

1. Darren McFadden. Oh boy, here we go. It was said that McFadden might be on the same talent tier level as Adrian Peterson was last year, but due to his situation he wouldn’t be able to have the same kind of season despite similar talent. After yesterday, that might not be true. McFadden went for 164 yards in just his second career game and is now averaging better than 6 ypc in his two games. Of course, the 164 was against Kansas City, who also let Michael Bush, who I think has two fake legs right now, go for over 90, so take it for what it’s worth.

2. Buffalo Bills. It’s looking like my pick of the Bills as a sleeper team last season was one year too early, as Buffalo went to 2-0 yesterday with a win over Jacksonville. That, along with their week 1 victory over Seattle has people taking notice. Marshawn Lynch is a grinder, Trent Edwards is what I thought JP Losman could be, and the defense is playing very well. In a wide open AFC, you could be looking at a playoff team.

3. Aaron Rodgers. I was really, really hoping Rodgers would suck so that Green Bay would implode upon itself and we wouldn’t have to deal with those queers every again, but no such luck as it turns out he’s pretty freaking good. He followed up his dismantling of the Vikings by torching the Lions – granted not that tough but it still counts. Pain Killer addiction imminent. And let’s just go ahead and stop with the A-Rodge stuff right now, ok?

4. Denver Wide Receivers. Holy geez it’s like Jerry Rice and John Taylor running around on Tecmo Super Bowl right now up in Denver. Last week, Eddie “Casino” Royal hauls in 9 catches for 146 yards and a score, and this week it’s Brandon "Brandon" Marshall registering 18 catches, WHICH IS NOT AN NFL RECORD, for 166 and a TD. It’s almost like Jake Cutler is a really good quarterback all of a sudden, but that can’t possibly be true because look at that porn stache. For reference, Minnesota wideouts have 10 catches for 148 yards in their two games combined.

5. Me. Played in our family’s golf tournament over the weekend, and not only did my team win but I also took the prize for longest drive, netting me a cool $15. Not only that, but after two weeks my NFL sleeper teams are a combined 6-3, while my teams who will suck are 4-5 (remember, these teams were supposed to be playoff type teams).

WHO SUCKED

1. The Ohio State University. This could actually just read Big Ten Football in general, which has become an absolute joke. Ohio State has been head and shoulders above the rest of the conference in recent years, and every time they have a chance to make a statement nationally they get whomped, culminating in Saturday’s 35-3 thumping by USC. Luckily dirty Wisconsin was able to win by 3 at Fresno State, or this would be a thoroughly embarrassing weekend for the conference as a whole. Michigan got worked by Notre Dame. Purdue lost at Oregon, which isn’t that bad but still a missed opportunity. Minnesota and Northwestern beat I-AA teams, and Illinois almost lost to a Sun Belt opponent. Other than Wisconsin, the most impressive win here is Iowa at home over Iowa State, who sucks. I think it may be time to take the Big Ten out of the BCS and let the Mountain West or the WAC or C-USA in or something. It’s only fair.

2. Ron Gardenhire. Yes, I know they swept, but let’s talk about that doubleheader and Gardy’s lineup decisions, ok? When you are in a pennant race with only 16 games remaining, you cannot afford to take one of your only two good hitters out of the lineup in any game, you just can’t, yet Mauer was out of the second game on Saturday. Why not just DH you ask? Well no shit, that’s the obvious choice that any sane manager would choose, but it seems it was critical to get Randy Ruiz in the lineup instead. I get that catchers need days off, I do, but not DHing him is a decision so dumb it truly defies explanation.

3. LaDainian Tomlinson. What the F is going on here? It seems that toe injury may just be a much bigger deal than originally thought, as LT did almost nothing this weekend. He left the game at one point, they looked at his foot, he tried to come back, and then he was done. With Darren “Sproilies” Sproles filling in admirably, who knows how many games LT might miss, even with two last second losses making San Diego fans antsy. Also San Diego means Whale’s Vagina.

4. Minnesota Vikings. What a crappy way to lose a game. The Colts were thoroughly dominated pretty much the entire game, but because the Vikes and T-Jax were unable to actually score a TD and had to settle for five Ryan Longwell field goals the Colts were able to take the game away. I have no idea why he passed as often as he did, with AP running right through the Colts with ease. Now at 0-2, and confidence in Jackson at an all-time low, the Vikes could be in real trouble. Feel free to trade for Jeff Garcia, if only to get his wife, Carmella Decesare, here. Google is your friend.

5. Milwaukee Brewers. Pretty much gave away the NL Central after losing 3 of 4 to the Phillies over the weekend to fall 6.5 behind the Cubs, watching their team batting average fall to .219 in the month of September. Chief among the chokers is the super overrated Ryan Braun, who leads the Brewers in pretty much offensive category, who is now hitless in his last 18 at bats as Milwaukee completes their shame spiral. The good news for them is they still lead the Wild Card Race by a game over the Phillies. The bad news is that the Phillies are hot, and Milwaukee sucks as I previously alluded to.