I was going to do a typical week in review post last night, but as I sat and stared at my computer screen I realized I got nothin'. The Twins have sucked the life out of me and I just couldn't bring myself to type anything. I started and deleted at least three times, and then was going to watch a shark movie and just didn't have the energy. Thanks Twins!
They've killed my brain so much I can't even cook right anymore. For last night's meal I looked around at what we had in the fridge and pantry and decided to make a Cuban chili. I screwed it up every way imaginable. Actually the first step, browning the ground beef with onions, red peppers, and garlic, went well, but from there it was right down hill. I used way too much liquid in the base (beef broth + mexican beer) and made it way watery. Then, after the first 45 minutes or so in the crock pot it seemed bland and rather than slowly adding spices to give it the flavor it needs I just threw a bunch of stuff in all at once and it ended up way too spicy. Luckily I have Mrs. W around, who just scooped 90% of the broth out to make it more chili-y and also cut back on the spice. I added some garlic salt and onion powder and WA-LA it ended up pretty good. But it turns out I'm not quite the brilliant chef I like to think I am. Well usually I am but not this time. Except for when I helped fix it. Anyway the Twins are stupid.
1. I quit watching after the third inning because it was 9-0. It's now 18-1 in the fifth. Eighteen. To. Fucking. One. Feels like the perfect end to a perfect season This team sucks, Nick Blackburn throws the ball too easy to hit to even be a batting practice pitcher, and I'm never writing about the Twins again. EVER. Unless they start trading dudes, then I'll write about the sweet sweet prospects they pick up. God I hate this so much. This is just like that time I cut my own finger off. [EDIT: Final was 20-6. L. O. L.]
2. It looks like we'll have an NFL this year after all. Football players and owners apparently realized that they all stand to make billions of dollars as long as there is a season and came to an agreement to go ahead and play some american football this year. This sort of bums me out.
Not that I don't like football, because I really do, but because there is just so much about the NFL season that bugs me. Particularly the fans. And can you imagine that group of fans - the kind of guys who watch every minute of every preseason game, are convinced they're smarter than every coach, bitch and complain the one week there's no Sunday night football because of the World Series, and who ignore their family for 12 hours every Sunday so they can watch the six different TVs they have the overpriced Sunday Ticket hooked up to in a room they inevitably call their "man cave" (and seriously, can we stop putting man in front of words to make up new words? It's not a man-cave, it's a den. It's not a mancation, it's a vacation. It's not man-scaping, it's shaving. And so on).
You know the kind of guy I'm talking about. And you can you imagine this guy without football? It would be hilarious. I imagine these guys would just start wandering around their neighborhood muttering to themselves and yelling at inanimate objects about getting into a cover 2 and rolling the safety over or start staging fake games in their yard using lawn gnomes. But now that dream is over, just like the dream of getting to watch scab players this year. Oh what could have been. Where have you gone, Brian Cupito?
3. Plenty of other things flying around the NFL rumor mill as well, including Terrell Pryor and Brett Favre rumors. The Favre rumor is that he may sign with the Eagles to be insurance behind Michael Vick, which supposedly makes sense because he's had a long-time relationship with Andy Reid. I would guess we can just ignore this because I really don't see him coming back after that pounding he took last year and I really don't see him volunteering for back-up duty. Then again, since he has a need for attention that would rival any 3-year old you know we're not going to hear a definitive answer from him, so this is going to drag out. Again. And dominate the news to the point where you want to stab your ears out with a spoon. Again. Pete Rose II just needs to die or something so he'll actually go away.
As far as Pryor, the big cheating cheater, it turns out that due to a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo that I neither understand nor have actually read, he might not get to enter the NFL supplemental draft this year. In that case I'd assume his options would be to play in the Arena League, CFL, XFL (if it still exists), or sling crack rock. Which is good for him because then maybe he can make some money because once he hits the NFL he's going to absolutely suck. Spergon Wynn style. Seriously, the guy could hit the broad side of Sarah Rue (before she sadly got all skinny) with a pass if she was standing still and he's supposed to be an NFL QB? Sure he can run, but that's all he can do. All you need to know is that he is Ohio State's all-time leading rusher as a QB and it's well known that there has never been an all-time leading rushing QB from a school who has succeeded in the NFL. Sorry Terrelle, you're doomed. And you suck and are a cheater and a bad person.
4. This T-Wolves coaching search is rather perplexing. I can't quite figure out what they're going for. The latest is that they interviewed Larry Brown, who is 71 years old and I can't possibly figure out what the upside is, other than possible insurance money from when he dies (whether of a heart attack or Michael Beasley snapping and beating him with a dreadlock makes no difference). The other guys, warts and all, at least have something that I get. Don Nelson is super old but likes to play uptempo which is what Kahn wants and plays to Ricky Rubio's strength. Bernie Bickerstaff is a total retread but, in theory, would have brought JB into play as the coach of the future (too late for this now). Terry Porter would be an inexperienced, but young (for a coach) up and comer. Rick Adelman is just a good coach. I've never head of Mike Woodson.
But Larry Brown doesn't make sense for the Wolves and the job doesn't make sense for him either. At 71, he'll be 75 by the time this is a possible playoff team, and Brown is notoriously difficult on young players and point guards. Seeing as how the Wolves are exclusively young players and have basically hitched the hopes of the entire franchise on a rookie point guard this match makes me nervous. Yeah, he's famous for turning losers into 8 seeds, but he's also a thousand years old and will probably end up shooting Beasley and/or Kahn by the all-star break. But I guess they wouldn't be the Wolves if they did something that made sense.
5. Ray Rice is going to destroy you. Since NFL teams can do shit now the Ravens released a bunch of fairly notable players: Derrick Mason, Todd Heap, and Willis McGahee. Mason is 100 and Heap has sucked for two years but the McGahee release is important because it means whoever the coach of the Ravens is won't have to keep him happy by giving him the goalline carries. The Bear once said Rice was overrated because he'd never be "a monster" but now McGahee is gone, he runs for a billion yards and catches enough balls to be the next generation of Thurman Thomas, and now he's going to get the goal line carries. Can Ray Rice be a monster? We're about to find out. And I think this is going to go down just like he's Kobe Bryant and the league is that poor girl from that hotel.
6. I was hoping to ignore the Twins for the rest of this post, but then there's this: The Nationals are after Denard Span and the Twins are listening. Frankly, this makes no sense. I agree the Twins should start looking to move some dudes because they suck and this season is dead, and I also think it makes sense to move an outfielder/DH because that's what they have an abundance of. But not Span.
First, he's under a reasonable contract. He's signed through 2014 with a team option for '15 at a good cost ($3m next year, $4.75m the next, $6.5m in '14, $9m on the option) so you don't need to move him soon. Unlike Kubel (free-agent to be) and Cuddyer (free-agent to be), or Jim Thome (1 more year but clearly not part of rebuilding).
Second, his skill set is something the Twins don't have anywhere else: an actual lead-off hitter. I love Ben Revere, I really do, but unless he starts walking more and finds a way to hit the ball farther than the average girl in a co-ed softball league once in a while (and yes that's AND, not OR) he's a nine hitter with a little excitement due to his speed. I mean really, Kubel, Cuddy, and Delmon are such similar players if you move one you're not fundamentally changing your team's make-up, but Span is the only real lead-off hitter, maybe in the system. If you still had Gomez and he was progressing (which, by the way, he still isn't) then trading Span is palatable, even though it still doesn't make sense.
Lastly, the Nationals are not a playoff team. They aren't making trades for a playoff push, they're making trades to try to get better for the long run. So why would a non-playoff team who needs to build for the future trade a guy to a different non-playoff team who needs to build for the future? Because the Twins want Ian freaking Desmond to be their future shortstop? The guy is absolutely terrible. Might as well have just kept Jason Bartlett for christ's sake.
Look, I get the Ramos trade for Capps. It was stupid and I said so at the time, but I at least understand what they were doing, however misguided. But trading Span, unless you are getting back Stephen Strasburg or Bryce Harper or Wilson Ramos, doesn't make sense financially, logically, chemistry-y, physically, lineup-y, racially, or sexually. Leave it to the Twins and that rapey dickmitten Bill Smith. Have fun watching Ian Desmond flail about like the next Nick Punto for the next four years.
Fuck this. I'm moving.
Showing posts with label Terrelle Pryor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Terrelle Pryor. Show all posts
Monday, July 25, 2011
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Weekend Review - 10/19/2009
I kind of sort of wanted to write about how gopher football sucked this weekend, and a 20-0 whopping by Penn State in which they gained all of 138 yards certainly seems like it might warrant it. I'm not, though, because I didn't watch the game and although I usually shoot my mouth off without having all the facts, since this is ostensibly a gopher blog, even though it's basketball focused, I'll hold off. I was going to watch the game, but when I got home from the softball state tournament on Saturday it wasn't on because the Oklahoma/Texas game ran late. Then when it finally switched over I was busy with WonderbabyTM and then it was halftime and then I fell asleep. Go gophers.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Rodney Williams and Blake Hoffarber. In case you're completely unaware, the Gophers season officially kicked-off Friday night with Midnight Madness, which in this case is called Tubby's Tip-Off and took place at 7:30. These two get the nod for their big wins in the dunk and 3-point shootout - go ahead and guess who won which contest. Perhaps more impressive than the Hoff's win was who the runner-up was - Justin Cobbs. As good a defender as Al Nolen is, it's no secret to anybody with two eyes that his offense was lacking in a big, big way last season. If it turns out Cobbs can score, even if he can just knock down an open three, that adds another dimension to the offense. As for Rodney in the dunk contest, do yourself a favor and watch this:
[Video removed because it kept freaking out my browser. You can find it at From the Barn or Gophersports.com or pretty much anywhere. Just make an effort, fatty.]
Turns out those reports that he was an incredible athlete: ACCURATE. Additionally, I've read some reports from people who were there (over at the Gopher Hole) and it sounds like Ralph Sampson has bulked up quite a bit this year. Combine that with the fact that Ralph can run a mile in under six minutes, which I learned straight from Tubby's mouth on the radio, and I don't really see any way he doesn't run away with Big Ten Player of the Year.
If you want some really detailed info on 3-point totals by round, and a thorough report on the scrimmage, click your mouse device on this hyperlink.
2. Hakeem Nicks. He just keeps being awesome, so I just have to keep highlighting him. In a suddenly crowded group of NY Giant receivers, Nicks keeps putting up good numbers and might have the highest upside of all of them - and that's no slight on the good Steve Smith. On Sunday he lit up the Saints for 114 and a touch, making this the third straight week he's found the endzone, and, since Eli had a horrid game in the loss, he accounted for 64% of the team's receiving yards. Smith and Mario Manningham both have more yards receiving this year than Nicks, partially due to Hakeem missing two and a half weeks due to injury, but it's becoming more and more obvious just how talented this kid is. Steve Smith might end up with better numbers this year, but Manningham is currently being pushed aside, and neither will end up any near as good as Nicks when all their careers are wrapped up.
3. Sidney Rice. This guy is an asshole. I'm sorry, and normally I don't like to use such coarse language in front of a lady (note: that's you, nancy-boy), but I am required to hate this guy for screwing two of my fantasy teams (yes, I have more than one, kill me). I drafted him in two leagues, and in one of them when I picked him some jackass piped up with "potential will kill you." Then after two weeks of nothing and looking like less than an afterthought, I had to drop him to make room for other players who were actually playing well. Well, since then he's been picked up by other retards in my leagues and scored two TDs in the last four weeks, never dipped below 56 yards receiving, and blew up this weekend with a 6 catch, 176 yard game in the Vikes win. Yeah, well he's too slow to outrun DBs and got caught from behind on what would have been a 70-yard touchdown, so eat it, guys who picked him up.
4. LaDainian Tomlinson. Numbers-wise, at first glance LT's performance last night doesn't look that impressive - 19 carries for 70 yards and 3 catches for 30, but two things are worth noting. First, Denver's defense has been very, very good this year, particularly against the run. Tomlinson's 70 rushing yards and the second most a back has managed to put up against the Broncos, just barely behind the 76 yards they allowed to Cedric Benson in week one. Second, and more importantly, this is more about watching the game than the numbers. Most of last year and this year, Tomlinson has looked slow, tentative, and was unable to either make people miss or break tackles - very similar to Shaun Alexander down towards the end there, and there was quite a bit of talk about how LT might be done. Watching last night, it appears he might be heading back - not to the lofty heights he had reached previously, but I think he's far from done. He was quicker than I had seen him in the last couple of years, making several defenders miss, and was making cuts quickly and decisively, much closer to the good LT than the recent LT. He's not going to be MVP any time soon, but last night was very encouraging.
5. The Beer Stars. That's out softball team, and we are awesome. Took part in the State Tournament this weekend, and ended up walking out with a nice plaque for finishing in fourth place (out of 63 teams). Keep in mind, this isn't some kind of pansy-ass single elimination garbage like those sissies in the NCAA Tournament, this is double. That means in order to finish in fourth, we had to win seven games, finishing up with an impressive 7-2 record that included a win over the (now former) #1 team in the state. Once we got to the final four, I think we were in a different stratosphere. The team that bounced us walked up and were drinking nothing but water and gatorade, and had warm-up donuts for their bats as well as those heavy warm up bats for the on-deck circle. Not quite the same attitude we have, as demonstrated by the name "Beer Stars." It was an excellent two days. I think Snacks is the only other Beer Star who reads this blog, but if any of the others are out there - congrats fellas. We kicked some serious ass.
WHO SUCKED
1. Sam Bradford. Let me give you people a bit of advice: If you ever win a Heisman Trophy and are a guaranteed lock for a 1st round pick in the NFL Draft, just go. Don't be noble. Don't be loyal. Don't be idealistic. Just go. I'm guessing Bradford's wishing he had done that after getting hurt for the second time this season on Saturday, and this one looks like there's a pretty good chance we're talking season's over here. After getting his shoulder ripped in half against BYU in the season opener, he made his big triumphant return on Saturday against Texas in the big ole Red River Rivalry game, managed to sling six passes (completing just two) and then had his shoulder ripped off again. What will this mean for his career? I don't know. It's probably not a career ender or anything, but will a team draft a guy who hurt the same shoulder twice in a season with a first round pick? Seems doubtful. We're talking a loss of multiple millions here. All so he could get up and go to class. Sucker.
2. Terrelle Pryor. Enough with this guy already. He's a good runner. That's it. He's not Michael Vick. He's not Pat White. He's not Vince Young (in college). He's not even Beau Morgan. He's more like Reggie Bush than anything else - elusive, fast runner who can help his team with his legs, but he is not a quality QB and he showed it again this weekend against Purdue. Ohio State went in to West Lafayette and got rolled, 26-18 by a Boiler team that had only one other win on the season (against Toledo). Pryor managed an incredible four turnovers all on his own, not to mention taking a sack on a third-and-five in Purdue territory late in the game with the Buckeyes down eight, and also managed to rush for just 34 yards on 21 attempts. He's awful. But you know what's funny? I just checked, and he actually has a better QB rating than Adam Weber. Good work Adam. You're worse than the college equivalent of Tavaris Jackson.
3. Tennessee Titans. Am I completely crazy, or weren't the Titans supposed to be a Super Bowl type contender this year. Let me check something. Yep, that's what I thought - they won their division last year. Seeing as how they have pretty much the same team as last year, I'm guessing that their current 0-6 record is probably a bit of a shock to pretty much everybody. Not a shock to me though, since I picked them tho finish third in their division. What is a shock to me is the stats the Titans put up in Sunday's devastatingly embarrassing 59-0 loss to the Patriots. It's hard to say what was worse, the offense or the defense. The offense was so bad, that Vince Young was the leading passer for the Titans with a day of 0-2 for 0 yards. That's because Kerry Collins somehow managed to 2-12 for -7, I have no idea how, which nets out to a QB rating of 4.9, which I assume is some kind of record and they exact opposite of the day the Titans' D let Tom Brady have: 29-34 for 380 yards and 6 TDs, which is a QB rating of 152.8. He should probalby be in the Awesome portion of this post, but 1) I hate him, and 2) they pulled him for someone named Brian Hoyer who then went 9-11 for 52 yards in his pro debut. In conclusion, Tennessee sucks worse than this TV movie with Tori Spelling Mrs. W is currently watching.
4. Hideki Kuroda. On Sunday for game 3 of the NLCS, Dodgers' manager Joe Torre had a choice: go with Kuroda or Chad Billingsley. They had pretty similar numbers on the season (Kuroda 3.76 ERA, 1.14 WHIP, Billingsley 4.03 and 1.32), and I'm sure there are a bunch of other factors that I don't feel like spending the time to research, but it seems he chose incorrectly and Kuroda got shelled, giving up six runs without bothering to get out of the second inning. Of course, Billingsley didn't do much better in relief and the offense only managed three hits against Cliff Lee, so none of this really mattered, but there's still a valuable lesson here: you can't trust commies. Luckily, thanks to the second amendment, every man has the right to bear arms to protect himself from these commies, and the right to Liberty. Liberty, if you've forgotten, is the soul's right to breath, and without liberty, man is a syncope.
5. John David Booty. Sad news folks. It's over. John David Booty was released from the practice squad by the Vikings on Thursday in order to make room for some irrelevant o-lineman. Seems a little unfair to get rid of a guy who has never thrown a regular season pass, but nobody said Chilly always makes the right decision. So you people are going to have to give up on your dreams of having discovered a fifth round gem, and I'm going to have to give up on my dreams of using this picture for anything worthwhile:
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Rodney Williams and Blake Hoffarber. In case you're completely unaware, the Gophers season officially kicked-off Friday night with Midnight Madness, which in this case is called Tubby's Tip-Off and took place at 7:30. These two get the nod for their big wins in the dunk and 3-point shootout - go ahead and guess who won which contest. Perhaps more impressive than the Hoff's win was who the runner-up was - Justin Cobbs. As good a defender as Al Nolen is, it's no secret to anybody with two eyes that his offense was lacking in a big, big way last season. If it turns out Cobbs can score, even if he can just knock down an open three, that adds another dimension to the offense. As for Rodney in the dunk contest, do yourself a favor and watch this:
[Video removed because it kept freaking out my browser. You can find it at From the Barn or Gophersports.com or pretty much anywhere. Just make an effort, fatty.]
Turns out those reports that he was an incredible athlete: ACCURATE. Additionally, I've read some reports from people who were there (over at the Gopher Hole) and it sounds like Ralph Sampson has bulked up quite a bit this year. Combine that with the fact that Ralph can run a mile in under six minutes, which I learned straight from Tubby's mouth on the radio, and I don't really see any way he doesn't run away with Big Ten Player of the Year.
If you want some really detailed info on 3-point totals by round, and a thorough report on the scrimmage, click your mouse device on this hyperlink.
2. Hakeem Nicks. He just keeps being awesome, so I just have to keep highlighting him. In a suddenly crowded group of NY Giant receivers, Nicks keeps putting up good numbers and might have the highest upside of all of them - and that's no slight on the good Steve Smith. On Sunday he lit up the Saints for 114 and a touch, making this the third straight week he's found the endzone, and, since Eli had a horrid game in the loss, he accounted for 64% of the team's receiving yards. Smith and Mario Manningham both have more yards receiving this year than Nicks, partially due to Hakeem missing two and a half weeks due to injury, but it's becoming more and more obvious just how talented this kid is. Steve Smith might end up with better numbers this year, but Manningham is currently being pushed aside, and neither will end up any near as good as Nicks when all their careers are wrapped up.
3. Sidney Rice. This guy is an asshole. I'm sorry, and normally I don't like to use such coarse language in front of a lady (note: that's you, nancy-boy), but I am required to hate this guy for screwing two of my fantasy teams (yes, I have more than one, kill me). I drafted him in two leagues, and in one of them when I picked him some jackass piped up with "potential will kill you." Then after two weeks of nothing and looking like less than an afterthought, I had to drop him to make room for other players who were actually playing well. Well, since then he's been picked up by other retards in my leagues and scored two TDs in the last four weeks, never dipped below 56 yards receiving, and blew up this weekend with a 6 catch, 176 yard game in the Vikes win. Yeah, well he's too slow to outrun DBs and got caught from behind on what would have been a 70-yard touchdown, so eat it, guys who picked him up.
4. LaDainian Tomlinson. Numbers-wise, at first glance LT's performance last night doesn't look that impressive - 19 carries for 70 yards and 3 catches for 30, but two things are worth noting. First, Denver's defense has been very, very good this year, particularly against the run. Tomlinson's 70 rushing yards and the second most a back has managed to put up against the Broncos, just barely behind the 76 yards they allowed to Cedric Benson in week one. Second, and more importantly, this is more about watching the game than the numbers. Most of last year and this year, Tomlinson has looked slow, tentative, and was unable to either make people miss or break tackles - very similar to Shaun Alexander down towards the end there, and there was quite a bit of talk about how LT might be done. Watching last night, it appears he might be heading back - not to the lofty heights he had reached previously, but I think he's far from done. He was quicker than I had seen him in the last couple of years, making several defenders miss, and was making cuts quickly and decisively, much closer to the good LT than the recent LT. He's not going to be MVP any time soon, but last night was very encouraging.
5. The Beer Stars. That's out softball team, and we are awesome. Took part in the State Tournament this weekend, and ended up walking out with a nice plaque for finishing in fourth place (out of 63 teams). Keep in mind, this isn't some kind of pansy-ass single elimination garbage like those sissies in the NCAA Tournament, this is double. That means in order to finish in fourth, we had to win seven games, finishing up with an impressive 7-2 record that included a win over the (now former) #1 team in the state. Once we got to the final four, I think we were in a different stratosphere. The team that bounced us walked up and were drinking nothing but water and gatorade, and had warm-up donuts for their bats as well as those heavy warm up bats for the on-deck circle. Not quite the same attitude we have, as demonstrated by the name "Beer Stars." It was an excellent two days. I think Snacks is the only other Beer Star who reads this blog, but if any of the others are out there - congrats fellas. We kicked some serious ass.
WHO SUCKED
1. Sam Bradford. Let me give you people a bit of advice: If you ever win a Heisman Trophy and are a guaranteed lock for a 1st round pick in the NFL Draft, just go. Don't be noble. Don't be loyal. Don't be idealistic. Just go. I'm guessing Bradford's wishing he had done that after getting hurt for the second time this season on Saturday, and this one looks like there's a pretty good chance we're talking season's over here. After getting his shoulder ripped in half against BYU in the season opener, he made his big triumphant return on Saturday against Texas in the big ole Red River Rivalry game, managed to sling six passes (completing just two) and then had his shoulder ripped off again. What will this mean for his career? I don't know. It's probably not a career ender or anything, but will a team draft a guy who hurt the same shoulder twice in a season with a first round pick? Seems doubtful. We're talking a loss of multiple millions here. All so he could get up and go to class. Sucker.
2. Terrelle Pryor. Enough with this guy already. He's a good runner. That's it. He's not Michael Vick. He's not Pat White. He's not Vince Young (in college). He's not even Beau Morgan. He's more like Reggie Bush than anything else - elusive, fast runner who can help his team with his legs, but he is not a quality QB and he showed it again this weekend against Purdue. Ohio State went in to West Lafayette and got rolled, 26-18 by a Boiler team that had only one other win on the season (against Toledo). Pryor managed an incredible four turnovers all on his own, not to mention taking a sack on a third-and-five in Purdue territory late in the game with the Buckeyes down eight, and also managed to rush for just 34 yards on 21 attempts. He's awful. But you know what's funny? I just checked, and he actually has a better QB rating than Adam Weber. Good work Adam. You're worse than the college equivalent of Tavaris Jackson.
3. Tennessee Titans. Am I completely crazy, or weren't the Titans supposed to be a Super Bowl type contender this year. Let me check something. Yep, that's what I thought - they won their division last year. Seeing as how they have pretty much the same team as last year, I'm guessing that their current 0-6 record is probably a bit of a shock to pretty much everybody. Not a shock to me though, since I picked them tho finish third in their division. What is a shock to me is the stats the Titans put up in Sunday's devastatingly embarrassing 59-0 loss to the Patriots. It's hard to say what was worse, the offense or the defense. The offense was so bad, that Vince Young was the leading passer for the Titans with a day of 0-2 for 0 yards. That's because Kerry Collins somehow managed to 2-12 for -7, I have no idea how, which nets out to a QB rating of 4.9, which I assume is some kind of record and they exact opposite of the day the Titans' D let Tom Brady have: 29-34 for 380 yards and 6 TDs, which is a QB rating of 152.8. He should probalby be in the Awesome portion of this post, but 1) I hate him, and 2) they pulled him for someone named Brian Hoyer who then went 9-11 for 52 yards in his pro debut. In conclusion, Tennessee sucks worse than this TV movie with Tori Spelling Mrs. W is currently watching.
4. Hideki Kuroda. On Sunday for game 3 of the NLCS, Dodgers' manager Joe Torre had a choice: go with Kuroda or Chad Billingsley. They had pretty similar numbers on the season (Kuroda 3.76 ERA, 1.14 WHIP, Billingsley 4.03 and 1.32), and I'm sure there are a bunch of other factors that I don't feel like spending the time to research, but it seems he chose incorrectly and Kuroda got shelled, giving up six runs without bothering to get out of the second inning. Of course, Billingsley didn't do much better in relief and the offense only managed three hits against Cliff Lee, so none of this really mattered, but there's still a valuable lesson here: you can't trust commies. Luckily, thanks to the second amendment, every man has the right to bear arms to protect himself from these commies, and the right to Liberty. Liberty, if you've forgotten, is the soul's right to breath, and without liberty, man is a syncope.
5. John David Booty. Sad news folks. It's over. John David Booty was released from the practice squad by the Vikings on Thursday in order to make room for some irrelevant o-lineman. Seems a little unfair to get rid of a guy who has never thrown a regular season pass, but nobody said Chilly always makes the right decision. So you people are going to have to give up on your dreams of having discovered a fifth round gem, and I'm going to have to give up on my dreams of using this picture for anything worthwhile:
So it goes.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Weekend Review - 9/14/2009
This was a really good weekend. Gopher football, NFL season starts, Twins are still playing, and the golf tournaments still matter and aren't the weird World Series of Golf crap and other made for TV events. Other than college basketball season and specifically March Madness this might be my favorite time of the year. If only we could get some nice, crisp fall weather instead of this sweltering heat. Anyway, let's get on with it.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Michigan Football. It's nice to have a chance to write something positive about a Big Ten team, and Notre Dame is full of a bunch of queers, so it's great to see Michigan knock of the Irish 38-34 to break into the top 25. There wasn't a whole lot of defense in the game, and it would have been a lot of fun to watch if the stupid people at the stupid bar would have been able to figure out how to change their satellite to a local channel. Seriously, I thought all that local channels business was straightened out in like, 1999. I know that everyone I know with satellite has their local channels as part of their regular package, so there is no complicated switching of satellite feeds or anything. And they didn't even know how to do it. Yet they advertised drink specials during Vikings' games, which are on local television stations. I should have gone back during the Vikes game to see if they had that crap figured out yet. Arg. Oh, and your friend Micheal Floyd caught 7 balls for 131 yards and a score. It seems he's pretty good. Like the opposite of that stupid bar.
2. Adrian Peterson. It is just sick how good this guy is. Just another how hum day at the office, compiling 180 rushing yards and 3 scores. It's just so fun to watch him. He has the power to barrel right through people, the quickness to make them miss, and the speed to run away from them. Favre and Harvin both looked good yesterday too. Harvin is going to be a handful, running and catching. He has a world of talent (second only to Hakeem Nicks of the receivers in ths class). It's clear that Favre's lack of practice has had an effect on his chemistry with the wideouts, since a couple times he threw to an empty area because the receiver went somewhere else, but that can still happen even with a full practice schedule (see Brady Quinn's interception) and should get better with time. If Favre can contain himself and play just like that all year, there's no reason this isn't a Super Bowl team.
3. Drew Brees. Talk about having your way with someone, Brees violated the Lions yesterday, basically whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, finishing the game with 356 yards and 6, yes 6, touchdowns. One of those TDs went to Robert Meachem, who I told you was going to break out this year. Also Mike Bell had 28 carries for 143 yards (a 5.1 ypc average) while Reggie Bush rushed 7 times for just 14 yards. Seriously you guys, Reggie Bush is a terrible running back.
4. Brian Duensing. I am totally falling in love with this guy. Another start, and another gem, he pitched 7 shut-out innings on Sunday to help the Twins miraculously actually win a game. This runs his totals as a starter (5 games) to an ERA of with a WHIP of . Just incredible. He's the Francisco Liriano we thought we had but didn't but now do again because of Duensing. It's tough to find a gem in this lost season of perpetual disappointment. Seriously, how many Twins are you happy with this year? Mauer, Morales, Duensing, Nathan, Span, Kubel, and Mijares? Tough to put Morneau or Cuddyer in there despite their good numbers. Their dueling late season slumps haven't exactly left a nice impression. Anyway, Duensing is a stud, and is now 3-0 with a 2.00 ERA and a 1.14 WHIP as a starter. A quick check of BABIP, K/BB, and GB% tell me this probably isn't a fluke. If the Sidler was still alive, I'd ask him to do some nerd analysis on this kid, because he looks like the real deal to me.
5. TCF Bank Stadium. The team won, and put out a very good defensive effort against Air Force, a team that runs an offense that can be hard to stop, but I was more impressed by the new stadium. There were a few issues, such as lines of 30 minutes + for concessions (and longer at halftime), souvenir stands running out of t-shirts, and both Dino's Gyros and Subway stations running out of food, but overall it was a fantastic experience. It was the first major sporting event I have ever seen in Minnesota out doors, and that's truly how sports should be. Our seats were in the first row of the upper deck, visitor's side, on the 35 yard line, so we had a great view but it looked like the seating was laid out perfectly, and you would have a great view no matter where you were sitting. I'd like to write more about it, but really you just have to experience it yourself. The best way I can sum it up is that it finally felt like watching a real college football game. If you can snag a ticket, I highly recommend it.
Of course, the real highlight of the night was listening to some 70-year old man say if he ever saw Joel Maturi he would punch him in the face. . It seems he's had season tickets for 56 years, and lost his spot on the 50 yard line and is now on the 15, as we learned on the bus ride from a local establishment to the game. He was not very happy about it.
WHO SUCKED
1. Michgan State Football. I don't live in Michigan, but even I know that when you are Michigan or Michigan State, you don't lose to a directional school - yet that's what Sparty did on Saturday, falling 29-27 to the Chippewas of Central Michigan (aka Chris Kamen U). The Spartans certainly did everything they could to lose. CMU scored with just 32 seconds left in the game to bring the score to 27-26, then elected to go for the win and the 2 point conversion. They failed. Michigan State then botched the recovery of the onside kick, giving the Chippewas another chance. They quickly drove into position for a 47 yard game winning field goal - which was missed. But wait. Sparty was offsides. Given another chance, the CMU kicker drilled the 42 yarder for the upset and the embarrassment. Seriously, this conference is awful. There's no reason the Gophers can't finish in the top 4. Other than the fact that they aren't very good either.
2. Terrelle Pryor. Good god is this guy terrible. The numbers are awful (11-25 for 177 and a pick passing, 10 carries for 36 yards rushing), but they don't even tell the whole story. Ohio State had every chance to win that game and get the "can't beat the good teams" monkey off both their and the Big Ten Conference's back, but Pryor just couldn't make a play when they needed him to. He's not a very good passer, is a tentative runner, and is a deer in headlights against a good, fast defense. Luckily for him, there aren't many of those in the Big Ten so I expect he and the Buckeyes will have a good year once again, and then get destroyed in whatever bowl game they end up in. I also want to admit here that I have no idea why people use "in a minute" as slang to mean "a long time." Like as in, "I haven't seen you in a minute" would mean I haven't seen you in a long time. That makes no sense. A minute is actually a very short unit of time. I think it's the stupidest slang I've seen since saying "hella-" before everything. If you do this, stop.
3. Oklahoma State Football. Remember last week when everybody was all like, wow Oklahoma State what a huge win over Georgia they must be really good lets rank them fifth and put them into the conversation for National Champion contenders? Well they flushed all that right down the toilet by inexplicably losing to Houston. The Cowboys came out flat, falling behind 24-7 at halftime. As good teams tend to do, they came roaring back with three unanswered touchdowns to take a 28-24 lead. Then, as good teams usually don't do, they pissed it all right away, letting Houston score three times in the fourth quarter including an INT returned for a touchdown when OSU was trying to drive for a winning socre to seal the deal and the 45-35 Cougar win. So we don't have to worry about them winning a National Championship anymore. And Dez Bryant is still a superstud.
4. Cincinnati Bengals. Remember how I predicted the Bengals would be a playoff team this year? Nevermind. They couldn't even beat the shitty Broncos at home, and not even after taking the lead on a Cedric Benson TD run with just 38 seconds left in the game. Then, knowing full well that the Broncos were basically going to have to chuck the ball deep, they somehow managed to let Brandon Stokely catch a deflected pass and run 87 yards to win the game. Seriously I have no idea how somebody could let that happen, but then again, it's the Bengals. Really not a shock.
5. Jake Delhomme. Yuck. Wasn't this guy actually pretty good a few short years ago? And now he's an absolute trainwreck, as shown by yesterday's outing - possibly the worst game by a QB in the history of football. Jake went 7/17 for just 73 yards and threw four picks, and was so bad that not only did the Panthers bring in Luke McCown, they also brought in Matt Moore (who?). I really wish I would have watched the game, just to see what that kind of performance looks like. You can go ahead and scratch the Panthers off your Super Bowl contenders list - which I already told you to do. God I'm brilliant.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Michigan Football. It's nice to have a chance to write something positive about a Big Ten team, and Notre Dame is full of a bunch of queers, so it's great to see Michigan knock of the Irish 38-34 to break into the top 25. There wasn't a whole lot of defense in the game, and it would have been a lot of fun to watch if the stupid people at the stupid bar would have been able to figure out how to change their satellite to a local channel. Seriously, I thought all that local channels business was straightened out in like, 1999. I know that everyone I know with satellite has their local channels as part of their regular package, so there is no complicated switching of satellite feeds or anything. And they didn't even know how to do it. Yet they advertised drink specials during Vikings' games, which are on local television stations. I should have gone back during the Vikes game to see if they had that crap figured out yet. Arg. Oh, and your friend Micheal Floyd caught 7 balls for 131 yards and a score. It seems he's pretty good. Like the opposite of that stupid bar.
2. Adrian Peterson. It is just sick how good this guy is. Just another how hum day at the office, compiling 180 rushing yards and 3 scores. It's just so fun to watch him. He has the power to barrel right through people, the quickness to make them miss, and the speed to run away from them. Favre and Harvin both looked good yesterday too. Harvin is going to be a handful, running and catching. He has a world of talent (second only to Hakeem Nicks of the receivers in ths class). It's clear that Favre's lack of practice has had an effect on his chemistry with the wideouts, since a couple times he threw to an empty area because the receiver went somewhere else, but that can still happen even with a full practice schedule (see Brady Quinn's interception) and should get better with time. If Favre can contain himself and play just like that all year, there's no reason this isn't a Super Bowl team.
3. Drew Brees. Talk about having your way with someone, Brees violated the Lions yesterday, basically whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, finishing the game with 356 yards and 6, yes 6, touchdowns. One of those TDs went to Robert Meachem, who I told you was going to break out this year. Also Mike Bell had 28 carries for 143 yards (a 5.1 ypc average) while Reggie Bush rushed 7 times for just 14 yards. Seriously you guys, Reggie Bush is a terrible running back.
4. Brian Duensing. I am totally falling in love with this guy. Another start, and another gem, he pitched 7 shut-out innings on Sunday to help the Twins miraculously actually win a game. This runs his totals as a starter (5 games) to an ERA of with a WHIP of . Just incredible. He's the Francisco Liriano we thought we had but didn't but now do again because of Duensing. It's tough to find a gem in this lost season of perpetual disappointment. Seriously, how many Twins are you happy with this year? Mauer, Morales, Duensing, Nathan, Span, Kubel, and Mijares? Tough to put Morneau or Cuddyer in there despite their good numbers. Their dueling late season slumps haven't exactly left a nice impression. Anyway, Duensing is a stud, and is now 3-0 with a 2.00 ERA and a 1.14 WHIP as a starter. A quick check of BABIP, K/BB, and GB% tell me this probably isn't a fluke. If the Sidler was still alive, I'd ask him to do some nerd analysis on this kid, because he looks like the real deal to me.
5. TCF Bank Stadium. The team won, and put out a very good defensive effort against Air Force, a team that runs an offense that can be hard to stop, but I was more impressed by the new stadium. There were a few issues, such as lines of 30 minutes + for concessions (and longer at halftime), souvenir stands running out of t-shirts, and both Dino's Gyros and Subway stations running out of food, but overall it was a fantastic experience. It was the first major sporting event I have ever seen in Minnesota out doors, and that's truly how sports should be. Our seats were in the first row of the upper deck, visitor's side, on the 35 yard line, so we had a great view but it looked like the seating was laid out perfectly, and you would have a great view no matter where you were sitting. I'd like to write more about it, but really you just have to experience it yourself. The best way I can sum it up is that it finally felt like watching a real college football game. If you can snag a ticket, I highly recommend it.
Of course, the real highlight of the night was listening to some 70-year old man say if he ever saw Joel Maturi he would punch him in the face. . It seems he's had season tickets for 56 years, and lost his spot on the 50 yard line and is now on the 15, as we learned on the bus ride from a local establishment to the game. He was not very happy about it.
WHO SUCKED
1. Michgan State Football. I don't live in Michigan, but even I know that when you are Michigan or Michigan State, you don't lose to a directional school - yet that's what Sparty did on Saturday, falling 29-27 to the Chippewas of Central Michigan (aka Chris Kamen U). The Spartans certainly did everything they could to lose. CMU scored with just 32 seconds left in the game to bring the score to 27-26, then elected to go for the win and the 2 point conversion. They failed. Michigan State then botched the recovery of the onside kick, giving the Chippewas another chance. They quickly drove into position for a 47 yard game winning field goal - which was missed. But wait. Sparty was offsides. Given another chance, the CMU kicker drilled the 42 yarder for the upset and the embarrassment. Seriously, this conference is awful. There's no reason the Gophers can't finish in the top 4. Other than the fact that they aren't very good either.
2. Terrelle Pryor. Good god is this guy terrible. The numbers are awful (11-25 for 177 and a pick passing, 10 carries for 36 yards rushing), but they don't even tell the whole story. Ohio State had every chance to win that game and get the "can't beat the good teams" monkey off both their and the Big Ten Conference's back, but Pryor just couldn't make a play when they needed him to. He's not a very good passer, is a tentative runner, and is a deer in headlights against a good, fast defense. Luckily for him, there aren't many of those in the Big Ten so I expect he and the Buckeyes will have a good year once again, and then get destroyed in whatever bowl game they end up in. I also want to admit here that I have no idea why people use "in a minute" as slang to mean "a long time." Like as in, "I haven't seen you in a minute" would mean I haven't seen you in a long time. That makes no sense. A minute is actually a very short unit of time. I think it's the stupidest slang I've seen since saying "hella-" before everything. If you do this, stop.
3. Oklahoma State Football. Remember last week when everybody was all like, wow Oklahoma State what a huge win over Georgia they must be really good lets rank them fifth and put them into the conversation for National Champion contenders? Well they flushed all that right down the toilet by inexplicably losing to Houston. The Cowboys came out flat, falling behind 24-7 at halftime. As good teams tend to do, they came roaring back with three unanswered touchdowns to take a 28-24 lead. Then, as good teams usually don't do, they pissed it all right away, letting Houston score three times in the fourth quarter including an INT returned for a touchdown when OSU was trying to drive for a winning socre to seal the deal and the 45-35 Cougar win. So we don't have to worry about them winning a National Championship anymore. And Dez Bryant is still a superstud.
4. Cincinnati Bengals. Remember how I predicted the Bengals would be a playoff team this year? Nevermind. They couldn't even beat the shitty Broncos at home, and not even after taking the lead on a Cedric Benson TD run with just 38 seconds left in the game. Then, knowing full well that the Broncos were basically going to have to chuck the ball deep, they somehow managed to let Brandon Stokely catch a deflected pass and run 87 yards to win the game. Seriously I have no idea how somebody could let that happen, but then again, it's the Bengals. Really not a shock.
5. Jake Delhomme. Yuck. Wasn't this guy actually pretty good a few short years ago? And now he's an absolute trainwreck, as shown by yesterday's outing - possibly the worst game by a QB in the history of football. Jake went 7/17 for just 73 yards and threw four picks, and was so bad that not only did the Panthers bring in Luke McCown, they also brought in Matt Moore (who?). I really wish I would have watched the game, just to see what that kind of performance looks like. You can go ahead and scratch the Panthers off your Super Bowl contenders list - which I already told you to do. God I'm brilliant.
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