WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Darren McFadden. Oh boy, here we go. It was said that McFadden might be on the same talent tier level as Adrian Peterson was last year, but due to his situation he wouldn’t be able to have the same kind of season despite similar talent. After yesterday, that might not be true. McFadden went for 164 yards in just his second career game and is now averaging better than 6 ypc in his two games. Of course, the 164 was against Kansas City, who also let Michael Bush, who I think has two fake legs right now, go for over 90, so take it for what it’s worth.
2. Buffalo Bills. It’s looking like my pick of the Bills as a sleeper team last season was one year too early, as Buffalo went to 2-0 yesterday with a win over Jacksonville. That, along with their week 1 victory over Seattle has people taking notice. Marshawn Lynch is a grinder, Trent Edwards is what I thought JP Losman could be, and the defense is playing very well. In a wide open AFC, you could be looking at a playoff team.
3. Aaron Rodgers. I was really, really hoping Rodgers would suck so that Green Bay would implode upon itself and we wouldn’t have to deal with those queers every again, but no such luck as it turns out he’s pretty freaking good. He followed up his dismantling of the Vikings by torching the Lions – granted not that tough but it still counts. Pain Killer addiction imminent. And let’s just go ahead and stop with the A-Rodge stuff right now, ok?
4. Denver Wide Receivers. Holy geez it’s like Jerry Rice and John Taylor running around on Tecmo Super Bowl right now up in Denver. Last week, Eddie “Casino” Royal hauls in 9 catches for 146 yards and a score, and this week it’s Brandon "Brandon" Marshall registering 18 catches, WHICH IS NOT AN NFL RECORD, for 166 and a TD. It’s almost like Jake Cutler is a really good quarterback all of a sudden, but that can’t possibly be true because look at that porn stache. For reference, Minnesota wideouts have 10 catches for 148 yards in their two games combined.
5. Me. Played in our family’s golf tournament over the weekend, and not only did my team win but I also took the prize for longest drive, netting me a cool $15. Not only that, but after two weeks my NFL sleeper teams are a combined 6-3, while my teams who will suck are 4-5 (remember, these teams were supposed to be playoff type teams).
WHO SUCKED
1. The Ohio State University. This could actually just read Big Ten Football in general, which has become an absolute joke. Ohio State has been head and shoulders above the rest of the conference in recent years, and every time they have a chance to make a statement nationally they get whomped, culminating in Saturday’s 35-3 thumping by USC. Luckily dirty Wisconsin was able to win by 3 at Fresno State, or this would be a thoroughly embarrassing weekend for the conference as a whole. Michigan got worked by Notre Dame. Purdue lost at Oregon, which isn’t that bad but still a missed opportunity. Minnesota and Northwestern beat I-AA teams, and Illinois almost lost to a Sun Belt opponent. Other than Wisconsin, the most impressive win here is Iowa at home over Iowa State, who sucks. I think it may be time to take the Big Ten out of the BCS and let the Mountain West or the WAC or C-USA in or something. It’s only fair.
2. Ron Gardenhire. Yes, I know they swept, but let’s talk about that doubleheader and Gardy’s lineup decisions, ok? When you are in a pennant race with only 16 games remaining, you cannot afford to take one of your only two good hitters out of the lineup in any game, you just can’t, yet Mauer was out of the second game on Saturday. Why not just DH you ask? Well no shit, that’s the obvious choice that any sane manager would choose, but it seems it was critical to get Randy Ruiz in the lineup instead. I get that catchers need days off, I do, but not DHing him is a decision so dumb it truly defies explanation.
3. LaDainian Tomlinson. What the F is going on here? It seems that toe injury may just be a much bigger deal than originally thought, as LT did almost nothing this weekend. He left the game at one point, they looked at his foot, he tried to come back, and then he was done. With Darren “Sproilies” Sproles filling in admirably, who knows how many games LT might miss, even with two last second losses making San Diego fans antsy. Also San Diego means Whale’s Vagina.
4. Minnesota Vikings. What a crappy way to lose a game. The Colts were thoroughly dominated pretty much the entire game, but because the Vikes and T-Jax were unable to actually score a TD and had to settle for five Ryan Longwell field goals the Colts were able to take the game away. I have no idea why he passed as often as he did, with AP running right through the Colts with ease. Now at 0-2, and confidence in Jackson at an all-time low, the Vikes could be in real trouble. Feel free to trade for Jeff Garcia, if only to get his wife, Carmella Decesare, here. Google is your friend.
5. Milwaukee Brewers. Pretty much gave away the NL Central after losing 3 of 4 to the Phillies over the weekend to fall 6.5 behind the Cubs, watching their team batting average fall to .219 in the month of September. Chief among the chokers is the super overrated Ryan Braun, who leads the Brewers in pretty much offensive category, who is now hitless in his last 18 at bats as Milwaukee completes their shame spiral. The good news for them is they still lead the Wild Card Race by a game over the Phillies. The bad news is that the Phillies are hot, and Milwaukee sucks as I previously alluded to.
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