Weekend Review - 8/16/2010

Seriously folks, if the crowd can walk in it, it's not a bunker.  

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Brian Duensing.  I don't think anyone is exactly shocked or anything since Duensing has looked like a very good pitcher since he was called up last year, but it was awfully nice to see him put up a 3-hit shutout so soon after joining the rotation.  I wouldn't expect this out of him regularly (his BABIP and strand rate are pretty much unsustainable), but he's shown himself to be a good middle-of-the-rotation type who throws strikes and induced groundballs - so he's your typical Twins pitcher.  He'll get knocked around some, and he doesn't miss a ton of bats, but he's much better than Nick Blackburn, even if that isn't really saying much.  So now they can just cut Blackie - except, of course, for the $13 million they owe him over the next three years.  Awesome contract.


2.  Kevin Slowey.  I suppose if I'm going to highlight Duensing here I should throw some props at Slowey as well since he just went out and threw 7 innings of no-hit ball on Sunday.  I guess I'm just much more impressed with Duensing's outing because we've seen this brilliance from Slowey before, and he can't ever sustain it - maybe Duensing can.  And I'm fine with Slowey getting pulled after 7 innings even though he had a no-hitter going.  It was a 1-0 game, and at this point in the pennant race winning the game is more important than getting Slowey some personal glory.  Additionally, he was over 100 pitches already and they just had to skip a start of his due to a sore elbow, no sense in risking re-injury.  I disagree with just about every game decision Gardy makes, but I'm with him on this one.

3.  The PGA Championship.  Now that was one fantastic tournament.  Sure, there were parts that sucked pretty bad:  Nick Watney's collapse (more on this later), Dustin Johnson's ridiculous penalty that knocked him out of the playoff, Bubba Watson's dumb decision that lost him in the playoff, and the fact that Martin Kaymer won despite a bogey on the last hole.  Overall though, this was great.  There were 10-20 different golfers that could have ended up winning on Sunday with just a couple of different shots so there was drama all the way to the end, and any tournament that ends up with a playoff is a good one.  Perhaps the best was the way the course played (outside of sand traps that aren't sand traps, right Dustin?).  There were opportunities to make shots and grab birdies, but there were also plenty of ways you could screw yourself with a poor shot or poor decision.  Unlike some of the other majors that are set up where par is a major achievement, this course was set up with the perfect combination of risk/reward.  Just a fantastic tournament and a great, great venue.  Hard to believe it was in that shithole of a state, Wisconsin.

4.  R.A. Dickey.  You ready for this one?  R.A. Dickey threw a 1-hit shutout on Friday.  Yes, R.A. Dickey.  And not against some crap team, but against the Phillies.  You want to know why he's good all of a sudden?  He's basically given up on everything else and is only throwing knuckleballs.  He used to throw the knuckler about 2/3rds of the time, but this year he's thrown it 83.7%.  He's also given up on throwing a curve, slider, or change, because his fastball makes up the 16.3% of his pitches.  The results of this change have been an increase in ground balls and fewer of the fly balls going over the fence, mainly due to getting batters to chase more pitches out of the zone.  So, yeah.  That'll do it.

5.  Cole Aldrich.  My sources tell me that Cole was in town this weekend.  My same sources also tell me he's a pretty nice guy.

         


WHO SUCKED


1.  This Justin Morneau situation.  I won't even say Justin Morneau sucks any more, just that this whole situation sucks.  Supposedly he's getting better, but still can't make it through an entire day without showing symptoms, and as such was unable to travel with the team to Chicago because apparently airplane travel makes people who have had recent concussion's heads explode like that dude in scanners.  Instead, he stayed home and didn't get better, and is still unable to play.  In fact, he's unable to play so hard that there is officially no longer a time table for his return, which is causing all kinds of speculation that he won't be back this year.  Which would suck pretty bad.  This team might win the division without him, but they aren't going any farther.  So if he can make it through the day I say the get him in the lineup.  If he's walking around at home after the game and keeps bumping into things because he's all dizzy, well, I'm sure he can afford to replace whatever knick-knacks and porcelain dolls he breaks.  The team needs his bat, because he's not a pitch man.

2.  Nick Watney.  As I mentioned above, Nick Watney had a pretty epic collapse on Sunday.  After shooting the first three rounds all in the 60s, and being the only player to do so, Watney went into the final round with a 3 shot lead, only to double bogey the first hole to cough that up, tripled seven, followed that up with back to back bogeys, and then after a par tossed up another double, this time on a par 5.  Suffice it to say, it wasn't a good round.  That sucks too, because Watney has been one of my favorites and the reason is he seems to always be cool, always keep it together no matter what, so I was more that a bit surprised he went off the deep end here and ended up shooting an 81 to end up in 18th place.  I guess he's like every other golfer (other than Tiger and Louis Oosthuizen) and can't handle the pressure of being the leader after 54 holes.  Sucks, man.

3.  Memphis basketball.  Do you guys remember a few weeks ago when I talked about how Will Barton, Memphis's #1 recruit for this year and #11 on the Rivals150, wasn't going to be playing this year due to academic issues?  Well it seems that isn't the only issue the Tigers are going to have to deal with this year.  It also turns out that neither Chris Crawford (#72 Rivals) nor fellow freshman Hippolyte Tsafack have been cleared by the NCAA to play yet.  Finally, it turns out Jelan Kendrick (#15) didn't travel with the team on their Bahamas trip this weekend, dealing with "personal issues" and their are now rumors that he might not rejoin the team.  So Memphis had one of the best recruiting classes this year, but nobody can play.  I guess Pastner didn't learn enough tricks from Coach Cal.  Of course, they still have Joe Jackson (#18) and Tarik Black (#54), so I think they'll be just fine.  Unfortunately.


4.  Tim Lincecum.  It's not like he's been awful this whole season, and his numbers are ok overall (2nd in strike outs, 3.62 ERA) but after dominating to start the year he is fading and fading hard, and was knocked out in the fourth inning Sunday against the Padres.  And this follows up his last start when he didn't make it out of the fifth.  I'm not exactly sure what's going on, but this Giant team is winning with their pitching, and even though Matt Cain, Jonathan Sanchez, and Madison Bumgarner are all very good, Lincecum is obviously the most important member of that staff, and they aren't going anywhere if he doesn't get it together.  This could just be a blip, but he's lost a full MPH off his fastball from last year and is 3 off from 2 years ago, and his curveball seems to have lost some of its effectiveness.  Stay tuned.  Or don't, it's just the stupid NL after all.

5.  J.J. Putz.  When your closer is Bobby Jenks you're pretty much screwed.  And since Jenks has been little more than a fat batting-practice pitcher they turned to J.J. Putz.  Putz had been lights out as a set-up guy all year, and was a dynamite closer a few years ago when he was with Seattle.  Seems like it would make sense that he'd be pretty good closer for the Sox, right?  Wrong.  First on Saturday night he came into the game against Detroit in the top of the ninth with the Sox up 2-1, gave up a 2-run homer to Alex Avila, and walked away with the loss.  Then, Sunday afternoon, he came into the game in the top of the 8th, the Sox leading 7-6.  A single, triple, and error by Andruw Jones later and the Sox were down 9-7 and on their way to their sixth lost in their last 8 games.  Awesome.    


Also Happy Birthday to The Bear.  Way to be born, douchebag!

Six Very Important Things this Morning 8.12.2010

1.  Reverse the curse?  I'm not surprised the Twins lost there, because Perkins vs. Danks is clearly tilted in the White Sox favor, but I'm really unsettled by how they lost.  Getting thrown out at third trying to stretch a double into a triple?  Failing to turn an easy double play?  Making multiple errors?  Picking a runner off of first but being unable to get the actual out because of a poor throw by the first baseman?  Having a pitcher failing to cover first on a grounder to the first baseman?  Not being able to get a big hit?  These are all the same things we've watched the Sox do against the Twins, and are the reason the Sox, Guillen, and their fans felt cursed against the Twins.

I don't want to take anything from Danksy, because he was brilliant tonight and kept the Twins off balance all game, but the Twins made damn sure they had no chance to win tonight.  Perkins didn't pitch well by any means, but he wasn't completely awful and he gave the team a solid chance to win.  Except that they played like morons.  Or, more accurately, the played like the White Sox, while the Sox played like the Twins.  If tonight was a sign of the roles flipping and we have to expect that kind of shit for the next 7 years or whatever you can count me out.  I'm going to track down the Zoltar Machine at Sea Point Park and get that crazy gypsy to fix this shit right quick.

2.  Break up the O's?  Don't look now, but suddenly the Orioles are white hot.  After beating the Indians tonight Baltimore has suddenly won four games in a row, which might not seem like a huge deal but you have to realize that is 10% of their victories on the season.  Even more shocking, the won thanks to a Brad Bergesen 2-hit shutout.  Let that one sink in for a moment.  Brad Bergeson with the 5.84 ERA.  Brad Bergesen with the 1.53 WHIP.  Brad Bergesen who hasn't won a game in his last 13 starts.  Brad Bergesen with the unbent bill of his cap.  Brad Bergesen who once got hurt shooting a commercial.  Apparently anything Buck Showalter touches turns instantly to gold.  Word is Joel Maturi has inquired to see if he has any interest in Gopher football.

3.  There was a fun trade in the NBA.  This isn't exactly going to shake the NBA landscape, but any time you get a four-team, five-player trade it's worth noting because hey, that's fun.  Houston traded Trevor Ariza to the Hornets, who traded Darren Collison and James Posey to the Pacers, who traded Troy Murphy to the Nets, who traded Courtney Lee to the Rockets.  So the Hornets get a good player to show Chris Paul they are serious about winning (although Ariza, really?), the Pacers get a steal in getting a potential top line PG for a slow white dork, while the Nets can use that same slow white guy to eat up minutes so they don't have to force Derrick Favors to play too much too quickly.  And the Rockets shed some salary, which they needed to after signing a bunch of large contracts this offseason, but get back a good quality, young rotation player at the same time.  The elusive win-win-win-win trade.  Meanwhile the Timberwolves traded a player they just signed last year for 4 years and $16 million dollars for two players who they immediately cut, assuming Telfair has been cut by now.  So I guess it's win-win-win-win-win.  Go team.    

4.  It's wide open.  The season's fourth and final major, the PGA Championship, starts today, and it's an absolutely wide open field.  The usual favorite is a complete mess, the #2 guy just completely melted down last Sunday, can't take advantage of his opportunities to become the world #1 and sucks at links style golf (which this course is), and the #3 isn't entered due to injury.  Beyond that there about 30 different guys who have a legit chance to win this and you could make a solid argument for.  I won't do that, but I will give you my top 6 and a sleeper:

1.  Rory McIlroy

2.  Steve Stricker

3.  Jeff Overton

4.  Retief Goosen

5.  Nick Watney

6.  Graeme McDowell

SLEEPER:  Ross Fisher

This, of course, means that Hunter Mahan is going to win.

5.  The most dangerous player in the Big Ten may have found a new home.  Chris Allen, the most dangerous player in the Big Ten and if you disagree I will fight you, recently visited our good friend Freddy Hoiberg at Iowa State and it sounds like he might be leaning towards joining the Cyclones.  This would help Hoiberg with his apparent need to collect players of questionable moral character - which of course is genius for him.  The Clones have been a nightmare since Jake Sullivan left, and no offense to Ames (which is currently underwater) but I've visited there and I don't exactly see a lot that would be a draw for a big-time recruit.  As such, collecting talented players whose background's scare other team's off is a calculated, and I think smart, risk that could bring this team back to prominence.  Or they crash and burn and suck and nobody notices the difference.

6.  Finally, the Great Villain triumphs.  If you've read this post of mine or have heard me talk about it since or have pretty much ever been to my house, you'll seen the greatest movie ever, "The King of Kong" by now.  I'm not going to break it all the way down for you here, but seriously if you haven't seen it you have to go find it on Netflix or Blockbuster or Vudu or CinemaNow or whatever - go watch it.  It is the most fascinating look at the people who make up the world of championship gaming (retro games only, of course) centering around a battle for the world record of Donkey Kong between Steve Wiebe (clearly painted as the hero) and Billy Mitchell (clearly painted as the villain).  Of course, it wasn't too difficult to make him look bad, since his combination of smugness and douchery has only been seen before in a villain in an 80s movie (Karate Kid, Back to School, and Teen Wolf immediately come to mind), but douche though he may be, he once again has set the World Record in Donkey Kong (and Donkey Kong Jr. to boot).

Seriously, find a way to watch this and watch it.  I'm not being sarcastic or ironic or anything like that.  It is epically awesome to watch.  Check this:


Please, I beg you, watch this movie.

Mauer for MVP?

Before I get to "Can Joe Mauer win the MVP?" how crazy was the end of the PGA? Going into today's final round, three players have a realistic chance at winning: Tiger Woods at -8, Padraig Harrington at -6, and Y.E. Yang at -6, with a whole bunch of other people who would need an amazing day to get into the conversation. Well, nobody even bothered to break 70, Harrington shot a +6 to drop completely out of contention, and Yang and Tiger went head-to-head (they were playing partners today) and Tiger is the one who blinked.

After Yang's chip in for Eagle at 14 to give him a 1 shot lead, Tiger had plenty of chances to at least make a run at tying it up, but coughed them up. He flubbed a 5-Wood trying to get home in two at the par-5 fifteenth, then missed the green on all three closing holes. Yang even tried to help him out by bogeying seventeen, but Tiger went ahead and bogied as well. Just an incredible thing. I won't quite jump on the "Tiger has lost his mystique" bandwagon, but it was pretty mind blowing watching the best, most intense, nerves-of-steel competitor I've ever seen (outside of Scott Norwood, of course) choke away the championship, playing at a similar level and making the same mistakes he's watched his Sunday playing partners make time after time. I'm still in a little bit of shock.

I also want to mention that Rory McIroy has the absolute hottest girlfriend on the PGA Tour. Just sick hot. Anyway, back to the question, "Can Joe Mauer win the MVP award on a losing team?"

Now, it can be done and has been before. Maybe most famously by the Hawk, Andre Dawson, who won in 1987 with the Cubs, putting up a line of .287/.328/.568 with 49 home runs (in an era when nobody hit that many) and 137 rbi for a team that finished 76-85 and dead last in the division, 18.5 games out of first. Of course, Jack Clark probably should have won the MVP that year, and he played for a division winner, so the writers don't always follow any kind of recognizable logic. That will actually play in Mauer's favor - everybody likes him. Personal bias doesn't seem to affect baseball MVP voting as much as other sports (see Bonds with 7 MVPs and Jeff Kent actually won one), but it certainly won't hurt Golden Joe.

Of course, in recent years the trend has been to only give the MVP award to someone on a division winner, with the asinine argument that the award should go to the most valuable player and not the best player and that a great player on a bad team can't be valuable, so that doesn't help since this Twins squad might be the worst baseball team in the league since the Twins of 1999. I took a look at the AL MVP winners going back to 1990, and the team's the winners played on won their division 15 times, with another two wild card winners. That mean's there were two AL MVPs on teams that didn't win their division; 1991 Cal Ripken, and 2002 Alex Rodriguez.

Ripken's Orioles were 67-95, and finished 24 games out of first place. Ripken definitely deserved the award that year, as he was clearly the best player in the league. He put up .323/.374/.566, with 34 homers and 116 rbi, finishing in the top five in pretty much every category. Frank Thomas could make an argument, with a better OBP and OPS, but Ripken has him in every other category.

A-Rod's win in 2003 isn't quite as clear cut. He definitely had an outstanding year, hitting for .298/.396/.600 with 47 homers and 118 rbi for the 71-91 Rangers, while Carlos Delgado of the 86-76 Blue Jays hit .302/.426/.593 with 42 and 145. I have no idea why A-Rod won this one, but it goes to show that a player can win the MVP while playing for a losing team, even if he isn't the best player in the league that season (as 2 of the 3 I just looked at weren't).

Of course, it can go the other way too. You just have to look back at 2006, when David Ortiz should have won the award going away, but ended up finishing third behind Morneau and Derek Jeter, simply because the Red Sox missed the playoffs. A similar thing happened in 2004, too, this time to Manny Ramirez. His team didn't win the division (although they did win the Wild Card) and he lost MVP to Vlad Guerrero despite having superior numbers. And that seems to be the way the major sports are trending to go with their MVP awards in the past 10 years, but that A-Rod outlier means you can't rule it out just yet.

Is Mauer's season good enough to win? Right now, before today's game where once again I got to watch a Twins' starter completely implode and not bother to get out of the third, he is hitting .378/.446/.630. He also has 22 home runs, and 73 rbi through May, June, July, and almost exactly half of August. If we roughly project those out, we can reasonably expect Mauer to finish with 31 homers and 104 rbi. He is currently leading the league in batting average, on-base percentage, and slugging (and obviously OPS) - simply incredible, and maybe the best season a catcher has ever had.

.378 would be the highest batting average ever by a catcher (since Lave Cross's .394 in 1894). His .446 OBP would be the highest by a catcher since Mickey Cochrane's .452 in 1935, and the third best since 1900. Even his .630 slugging, long considered a weak point of his game, would rank third-best by a catcher ever, behind just 2003 Javy Lopez and 1997 Mike Piazza. All this leads up to an OPS of 1.076 - the best number a catcher has ever put up.

Even his home runs are nothing to dismiss, as if he hits 31 it would be the 31st most in a season by a catcher, and he would become just the 26th catcher to hit 30 in a season. And I'm tired of manually counting stuff up, but those 104 rbi would rank similarly in the history of catchers.

The only season that comes close is Mike Piazza's 1997, universally recognized as the best hitting season a catcher has ever had. That year Piazza hit .362/.431/.638 with 40 homers and 124 rbi, and finished second in the league in both OPS and MVP voting to Larry Walker. When you add in that Piazza had a noodle-arm, and Mauer is regarded as excellent defensively (not to mention his creepily squeaky-clean off the field reputation) there is little doubt Mauer is currently having the greatest season for a catcher in the history of baseball.

We've shown it's tough to win on a losing team, although it can be done, but we've also shown that Mauer is making history. He will have some obstacles, especially in that his three top rivals for the award either play in the cities that all media love (Youkilis and Texeira) or play on his own team and might steal votes (Morneau) but make no mistake, we are absolutely watching one of the most incredible seasons anyone has put together, and that should be enough for him to win.

Ready, Set...Major.

Alright golf fans I am back and better than ever. Sorry for going MIA for a month or so there but I got real lazy with my extra curricular activities. So needless to say there is a lot to talk about, I will try to hit on a bunch of points and try to leave you less bored than when you clicked on the site in the first place. And go.

-The first thing that pops in my head is Michelle Wie making the Solhiem Cup Team, this is the dykes version of the Ryder Cup. This makes me more sad for the state of women's golf in America than it does to have a win-nothing-clown represent our country. Here is a novel idea, since you shit canned the racist that hated the Ha-mungs and Orientals why dont you team up the best of USA and Europe vs Asia this way at least this way we can stay away from all the total no name randoms no one cares about from Europe and just stick to the ones from Asia.

-Ok, so Cink dusted off a man that could have been his dad, way to go you shit eating fag. You should have thrown the playoff, no one wanted you to win other than that tranny wife of yours.

Side note, I cannot stand chicks who feel the need to style their kids hair like their own. Secondly, why do women cut their hair when they start having kids, it looks horrible STOP!

Watson played awesomely for four days, he hit a 8I too flush and a putt off the green too firm. 2 shots out of a championship cost him, once again Stew you didn't win it, Tom lost it. Cink still sucks in my mind but he is confident and will likely keep winning, unfortunately. I could see him taking down a masters sometime soon.

-Tiger won the last two weeks, yawn. He beat down a no talent field in MI to close down the Buick Open. I soon see MI closing as a state and being sold to Canada, that place is worthless, but its gold to those damn Canadians, they need a Stanley Cup contender. Good luck to anyone still living there.

Tiger then was given the victory last week when Harrington didn't pull off a flop shot from over the green at the 16th at Firestone. There was a big controversy over the rules official for the group putting the group on "the clock". This rarely happens at tour events, unheard of at major events. The WGC events are major events, top fields, big crowds and huge money. I have no clue why that official on the 16th tee, with 1 stroke separating the top two players decided to put the players on the clock. Harrington seemed noticeably more fidgety than his already frosted flakes eating self. In the end he said "rules are rules", Tiger chastised the officials. Then out came the talk about fines.

Listen you idiot fringe fans or casual fans, this isn't Tiger's first fine. Although the PGA tour does not make their fines public, it is widely known that Tiger is at the top of the fine list. I have two actual ins on the tour, an agent and a caddie. Both have told me that these fines are common place and the tour polices its players. Everyone quit acting like Tiger is getting jobbed, he swears and throws clubs constantly OF COURSE they are going to fine him. A lot.

-Now to the PGA. Hazeltine is a monster, 7680 yards and since i don't want to look up if its the longest course in Major history or even just in PGA championship history, I am just going to go with that. Longest ever. Couple that with 5 inches of rain last weekend and that makes for a very long golf course. Some would contend that it takes the short or average length hitters out of the tournament, well I call those people morons. There is actually just as much of a premium on accuracy as there is on distance this week. Because not only is the course long but there are hundreds of well placed bunkers and thousands of trees, big trees.

Side note, I hate people talking about shit they have no idea about. Casual golf fans are famous for this, if you have spare time head out to the tournament this weekend and take a listen. Or read insanely dumb remarks like the one by 'dawger', 330 yards up hill huh, did you walk that off homo or just guess it by the time your girthy ass got to the ball you were out of breath so that's about 250 to 350 yards and you just gave yourself the benefit of the doubt? This is rhetorical. Also Phil just showed up on Wednesday for the first time, he didn't play on Tuesday. You are an idiot.

Also, dads, quit filling your kids heads full of false information. They will not love you any less if you say you are not sure or don't know. They don't need you to be their hero, if you cant be truthful to them at this point they probably have already written you off as a role model and you should just wait for the day when they don't return your calls.

-I truly needed to get that off my chest, whoa i feel good. So here are the guys in my top 5: Cabrera, Mahan, Westwood, Allenby and Martin Kaymer. Dark horse is Stenson. Blackout horse is Phil.

-In the end there will be one winner and 155 losers, let me tell you one of the loser's name is Tiger. He has won in every last tournament that he has entered before each major this year. Currently he is 0/3 you can book 0/4. One, he is still hitting it erratically off the tee, too much so to get it around at this course. Two, three in a row is pretty tough even for Tiger. I think he is a little gassed. Lastly, the odds are in my favor. So there.

I have to run, you can nit pick the grammar or spelling, it doesn't affect me. I hope to be writing more often as the season comes to a close, maybe.

Pay attention to 16, very tough for only 400 yards and 12 a 518 yard par 4, got a hybrid?

NF

PS--10 years ago a 19 year old pushed Tiger at the PGA, we all thought that kid would be pushing Tiger year after year. Sergio, where have you gone?

PPS-For some reason i could not get paragraph spaces to stick on the published version. sorry.

Twins vs. Royals

I haven't done this but once I think this year, but now seems like a good time to live blog a Twins game. Since this is supposed to be the big home stand where they can really make a run playing the lowly Royals and Indians for six straight home games. We'll see.

- The guy who never walks anybody ever, Nick Blackburn, falls behind David of Jesus 3-1, then puts one right into the perfect slap zone - waist high, outside corner - and noted slap hitter DeJesus shoots it into left for a single. Captain Slap himself, Joe Mauer, would have loved that pitch.

- Speaking of Mauer, he just attempted to throw out a runner stealing and the throw was about four feet to the shortstop side of the bag. Bert's comment? "Blackburn really gave up too much of a jump to Anderson there." No matter that he could have waited til the ball was half way to the plate before running and still made it.

- 1-0 Royals after Billy "the second coming of Steve Balboni" Butler singles to right. I'm already frustrated. This might be the shortest live blog ever.

- Who would you rather have start at second, Punto or Casilla? I don't see any upside either way.

- After a four pitch walk, Miguel Olivo slaps one past Morneau down the line to score another couple runs, making it a 3-0 Royals lead. In case that's not depressing enough already, BB Gun seemingly is refusing to throw strikes. The good news here is that with 2 outs, the Ryan Leaf of baseball players Alex Gordon is now up. If you can't get Gordon out, you might as well quit.

- Ground rule double. 4-0. And Alex Gordon ripped a pitch. That's his first double of the year. I know he's been hurt, but still, even when he hasn't been he's sucked. I'm so glad I decided to live blog this one.

- Twins finally up, still down 4-0. At least they get to hit off Kyle Davies. That pretty much guarantees they can get to four runs no problem. Well, if they weren't the Twins they could.

- Cabrera has been so hot since he came over, just imagine if Brendan Harris was playing second. And that single up the middle gets his hit streak to 20.

- Wild pitch scores Cabrera after a Mauer single, then Morneau walks. Two on, one out, 3-1 game and the best player on the Twins, Jason Kubel at the bat. I'm calling a double, scoring two.

- Or a force out at seond. Crap. Now it's up to that damn Cuddyer. I'm calling a strikeout on a ball in the dirt. I know, I know, I'm crazy.

- 2-2 count after Cuddy swings at misses at a bitch at his eyes. Here comes the slider in the dirt.

- Nope, just blew a fastball right by him. I know what Cuddy's numbers say, and I'm generally a quantitative over qualitative guy, but I just can't shake the feeling that this guy sucks at hitting. I'm starting to understand why people bitch about Pat Burrell and Adam Dunn when they watch them all season long. Despite the successes, the strikeouts are just so aesthetically ugly that they grate on you after a time. He's just like Phil Rivers throwing motion or Jim Furyk's swing - it's ugly, but it's effective.

- Uh oh, according to Robbie Mcintowkialoliwak, the Royals scouts have figured out Blackburn, and the hitters are waiting on the sinker and just shooting it the other way, and are able to do this because they aren't worried about the fastball getting by them. This makes a god damn lot of sense, because every batter so far, other than the ones he walks instead - as he just did to DeJesus, has gone to opposite field (as did whoever just got that hit. Maier or something like that).

- Jesus F. Duensing is up in the pen. It's the second god damned inning.

- Sac bunt attempt. Blackie goes to third with it, throw is high and Harris can't handle it. Bases loaded, nobody out. I am very, very close to checking out of this game. These guy suck. It's like watching the bad news bears right now, but without the humor and racial slurs.

- Double play, but another run in. 5-1 now in the second.

- Another knock for the Royals when Blackburn falls behind again and it's 6-1. Duensing coming in. I'm done with this, and with this team.

- I suppose I should do some PGA preview, but I don't want to, so instead here is your top six most likely to win other than Tiger Woods:
1. Kenny Perry
2. Steve Stricker
3. Lee Westwood
4. Zach Johnson
5. Tim Clark
6. Camilo Villegas

- A Delmon foul out, a Harris strikeout, and a slap flyout by Casilla and suddenly the worst pitcher in the world has a 1-2-3 inning and three strikeouts through two. Great.

- Hey, did you know the PGA Championship is in Minnesota this week? I just found out. The media coverage hasn't been super annoying or anything. Now Hunter Mahan is in the press box with Dick and Bert, wearing a Twins jersey. It makes me like him a little more for showing up to a baseball game, but the Twins jersey I'm pretty sure dooms him to miss the cut.

- Home run Olivo. 7-1. Delmon Young looked like a hippopotamus chasing a butterfly trying to get to that one (it just barely cleared the fence, Span probably comes down with it).

- Some walks, some hits, and it's 8-1 and already the longest game in history.

- Span strikeout, Cabrera foul out, Mauer single, Morneau fly out. I'm officially bored and stopping this. Sidler, if you're still out there break down this whole Rios to the Sox thing for me, I'm too lazy to do it.

Get Bent Detroit!

Well it’s Wednesday night and you know what that means, time for some golf. Oh you don’t care about golf, well start caring losers it’s the week of the final major and there is lots to talk about.

First off last week was great golf, if you didn’t watch any you missed out on a great field that didn’t disappoint at the WGC Bridgestone. Well actually it was just a star studded field, minus Tiger, going head to head with no one really taking full charge until Vijay finally wished in his last 4 footer for the win. My guy Perry played like a dog but I did tell you that Vijay could win if he made putts. As it turns out he could have routed the field if he would have made anything. The guy was missing short putts left and right but his extraordinarily good ball striking was good enough to make him the winner.

What is up with Phil? He managed to choke away another tournament with just a horrible putting performance on Sunday. Personally I believe he is just thinking too much. Ever since his last big choke job at the 2007 US Open he just doesn’t seem the same, he will tell you that it is not bothering him but he has sucked in big events ever since. He has a poor putter to blame for it; in 06’ he ended the year 5th on tour in putting, in 07’ he was 15th and this year he is 48th. For a guy known for his short game he has certainly become all too average. He is a great player don’t get me wrong and he has a great rack but his putting is what is keeping him from winning more. Tiger is gone and Phil should be taking the lead and instead he is playing like a gay. By the way if you didn’t know Vijay and Phil hate each other, maybe even more than Phil and Tiger hate each other, I just wish they would have just went toe to toe on Saturday it would have been epic

OK, so when you think of a great golf course, a course good enough to hold a major, you probably think it would be held in a great town well not this week. Detroit, the Motor City, formally Hockeytown USA and as I like to call it “Detoilet” is the city that will host not only the best touring pros in the world but the best PGA Professionals from around the country. God hates Detroit more than abortionists and queers, that town is the crappiest piece of garbage in the lower 48. They really have nothing going for them other than poverty, crime and pollution. But all things aside Oakland Hills CC, The Monster, is still a tremendous course that should create fits for the players over the course of four days. At 7400 yards and again playing to a par 70 this week the emphasis will again be on driving accuracy, greens in regulation and of course putting. The greens are very undulated (lots of slope) and I believe the key will be hitting approach shots to the right section of the green in order to have a putt that doesn’t break six different ways. You are going to see guys playing shots off the banks of the greens to try and get the ball close to the hole and putts breaking 30 feet. Not to overshadow the greens but this course also has some of the longest par 3’s, 9th is 257yrds 17th is 238yrds, which is just another reason the guy who wins will need to hit greens, in the right spots, and can manage his putter.

So as an homage to WWWWW let’s look at who the stats would say wins this week. The best player overall in driving accuracy + distance, greens in regulation and putting is Ryan Palmer. He ranks 18th in ball striking which ranks players by combining Total Driving (distance and accuracy) and Greens in Regulation (hit the green with a putt at birdie or better) couple that stat with being 56th in Putts per Round (3rd in Putts per Green in Reg) and there you have it your statistical pick to click. Now is he even in the field…ummmm…NO he is not…DAMN IT. This stat shit is hurting my brain; well let’s look at another stat. All Around, ranks the average of all stats kept by the PGA tour that should tell us the winner. Stew Cink is your all around best ranked player by the numbers, but as I have explained before Stew is a homo so he is out, not because of his sexuality but just because I don’t like him. Campbell, Scott, Kim and Mickelson round out the top 5. Well Phil might win but I think there is a greater chance that he looses it on the final day. Chad Campbell, get real. Adam Scott is a fun pick but Aussies don’t win Majors in America just ask Norman…too soon…Nah. So there he is again the young, brash, best American player under 30, Anthony Kim. He wants the win and he has the stats to back it up 35th in Total Driving, 48th in Greens in Reg, 42nd in Putting and more importantly 29th in Putting when hitting the green in regulation. So there it is your winner Anthony Kim, not just by the stats but I really think he will win and if he doesn’t…well…well…well I will be very disappointed.


Watch These Guys Too:
Lee Westwood-He played too well last week not to consider him.
Vijay- Why not.
Hunter Mahan-This is his last shot to secure a spot on the Ryder Cup team.
Poulter/Garcia-Garcia played great here 4 years ago in the Ryder Cup, he hits his irons as well as anyone and if he gives himself good chances and makes some putts he will be there. Poulter is a wild card, he has the confidence but can he execute in America?

Sleeper of the Week:
Davis Love- In 96’ he three putted the 17th green and that cost him the title, look for him to be a surprise on the leader board

There it is my preview of the final major on the PGA Tour. Picks have been crappy but hopefully the content makes up for it and I have to get lucky here soon, but if not I will be back next week to tell you why Kim hosed me and breakdown how the winner got it done, until then enjoy the golf.

NF

PS-Michelle Wie sucks and will always suck, she is the suckiest suck that ever sucked. I was never so happy than to see her grind out that 80 in the 2nd round last week and then explain that she played her best, new flash, if that's your best then stay home!