Monday Musings (Trade deadline talk, Royals, Seahawks, AL ROY, Sharks)

I guess the good news is the Twins didn't do anything stupid at the trade deadline.  Then again, their inability to realize they should have been sellers, not buyers and not do-nothingers, probably cost them a little bit in the prospect department as there were reports that teams were sniffing around Kubel, Cuddyer, Thome, and Slowey, all of whom could fetch value and should have been traded along with Pavano, Capps, and Nathan if possible.  Of course, the two moves the Twins came closest to making were Span to the Nationals for a couple relievers and Slowey to the Rockies for either a  mediocre and old reliever or a mediocre and old infielder, both of which would have been disasters, so maybe not doing anything is like winning due to apathy.  Or something.  Anyway, here are your trades that mattered in the AL Central, for your reference:

• WHITE SOX:  Acquired RP Jason Frasor and SP Zach Stewart from the Jays for SP Edwin Jackson and IF Mark Teahen.  Do you find it a bit curious the Sox would trade Edwin Jackson, especially since he's having a pretty good year this year and gives them five capable starting pitchers, when they are 3 games out of first in a crappy division?  Well it wasn't to get Frasor, who is a top notch reliever but they already have a good bullpen.  The real center piece for them is Stewart, who was one of the top 5 prospects in the Jays system.  He didn't fare too well in his three big league starts this year, but he was making the jump from double-A.  He's a flamethrower who has struck out more than a batter an inning in the minors, and if he can cut down on the hits allowed he could be a potential top of the rotation starter.  Even if he can't hack that with his stuff he could be a very good bullpen arm.  As a fan of an AL Central team I dislike this trade immensely.

• INDIANS:  Acquired OF Kosuke Fukudome from the Cubs for P Carlton Smith and OF Abner Abreu; Acquired P Ubaldo Jimenez for P Drew Pomeranz, C/OF/1b Matt McBride, P Alex White, P Joseph Gardner; traded IF Orlando Cabrera to the Giants for OF Thomas Neal.  The Cabrera trade was a no-brainer since they've basically committed to Jason Kipnis at second these days and they got a pretty good prospect back in Neal, but that's about the only good move they made.  The Fukudome trade makes no sense because he's not really any better than what they already have in the outfield and is a mediocre hitter with no power and a subpar outfielder, and Abner has a shot to be as starting outfielder someday (although Smith is probably a straight bust.)

          The Jimenez trade, however, reeks of going with your heart and not your head.  Think about it:  both the Red Sox and the Yankees back off and neither team is exactly known for NOT getting what they want.  Jimenez has been awful this year (4.46 ERA, 1.37 WHIP) but I'm guessing the Indians somehow just fixated on him as exactly what they needed to push them into the playoffs and were unable to pull out of a trade, effectively giving the Rockies the leverage they needed to ask for whatever they wanted - and they did.

           Pomeranz is probably the best arm in their system with a decent shot at becoming a legitimate ace, and if he's not the best arm in the system that honor probably goes to White, who profiles as a #4 type inning eater starter at worst.  The other pitcher they gave up, Joe Gardner, ranks as a top 10 prospect in their system on basically every list, and McBride has a pretty solid bat.  Basically the Rockies got an absolute haul for a pitcher who has been every bit as uneven this year as he was dominant last year.  In order to make this trade not a complete disaster for the Indians he'll need to regain his ace form and push them into the playoffs, but based on his subpar second half last year and this year, it's unlikely.  Great job, dummies. 

• TIGERS:  Acquired SP Doug Fister and RP David Pauley from the Mariners for 3b Francisco Martinez, P Charlie Furbush, OF Casper Wells, and a player to be named; acquired IF Wilson Betemit from the Royals for P Antonio Cruz and C Julio Rodriguez.  Detroit gave up a huge haul to acquire Fister (Fister?  I hardly know 'er!) who is a decent middle of the rotation pitcher but is certainly nothing special and not a difference maker.  Wells has already proven himself to be an adequate 3rd/4th outfielder type, Furbush will be a back of the rotation starter or decent middle reliever, and Martinez is a very toolsy type.  Basically they gave up three top-20 prospects for Fister and a non-descript middle reliver.  If that wasn't enough, however, it's believed that the player to be named is either 3b Nick Castellanos (#2 prospect in the system), SP Chance Ruffin (#7), or SP Drew Smyly (#9).  At least Cleveland gave up way too much to get a guy who has difference making potential.  Detroit gave up way too much to get Nick Blackburn with better stats due to playing in a pitcher's park.  And the Betemit trade is so meaningless I'm not even going to bother.

• ROYALS:  Acquired the two dudes above for Betemit; traded IF Mike Aviles to the Red Sox for IF/OF Yamaico Navarro and RP Kendall Volz.  I'm a little surprised they traded Aviles because I always figured he was in their future plans, but I suppose he's a decent middle infielder with a decent bat so he's pretty expendable, especially since they have Escobar basically entrenched at SS for the next a whole lot of years.  Giving him up to grab some upside in Navarro (#15 prospect in Boston's system) and an A-ball arm who strikes out more than a batter per inning is probably worth it.  The two guys the Tigers gave up to get Betemit are system filler, which is probably still too much to trade for Betemit. 

• TWINS:  Not a goddamn thing

So, whatever.  The Tigers and Indians went for it in a big way that could totally backfire, the White Sox stood mostly pat but built for the future, the Royals build a little more organizational depth but didn't make any big moves (like trading Soria, Cabrera, or Francoeur), and the Twins stuck their collective thumb up their collective ass and were too confused to do anything at all.


Other things going down:

-  Since we're talking about the Royals and I love them more than life itself have you guys noticed Billy Butler lately?  He's gotten hits in 13 of his last 14 games, which includes five home runs in the last week, bringing him up to 12 on the year.  Guy is just nails.  He's going to give you a .300/.360/.450 line every year with 15 homers and 40 doubles.  And in case you missed it (I did) the Royals signed him to an extension through 2014 (team option 2015) so it looks like he's the DH of the future, which also means that Kila Ka'aihue is pretty much shit out of luck since Hosmer has turned out to be the next George Brett is Brett played first or Hosmer played third.  If I'm the Twins, or several other teams, I'm looking to figure out a way to get Kila on my team.  Guy's basically an Adam Dunn clone but with a fancier name and the Royals don't seem to realize it.

-  If you will allow me one more indulgence of writing about someone I like who you probably don't care about, have you noticed what Desmond Jennings' of the Rays is doing since he was called up?  Before an 0-11 skid in his last three games he had multiple hits in 6 of 7 games and overall has put up a line of .333/.463/.576 with five steals, almost half of his hits for extra-bases, and nearly as many walks as strikeouts.  And that OPS of 1.039 would be behind only Jose Bautista in all the majors.  Why do I point all this out?  Mainly because I picked him as AL Rookie-of-the-Year.  His call up may have happened to late, but it kind of looks like I'm a genius.  Again.

-  NARD-DAWG!!

-  Looking at the NFL, can anybody inform to me what the hell the Seahwaks are doing?  I suppose this is one way to build your team, but to me it seems more in the David Kahn team building mode rather than the build a championship mode.  First you address your quarterback need by signing both Tavaris Jackson and Matt Leinart, which says "hey we don't really have a lot of money or a real plan, so we're going to grab a couple of bargain basement QBs with some upside and hope one of them works out."  Then they throw waaaay too much money at Sidney Rice in a move that says "we have way too much money so let's give it to an overrated receiver who had one good year because he had the perfect QB for his talents and was terrible with every other QB including the guy we just signed."  Finally they signed o-lineman Robert Gallery in a move that says "we know this is high risk high reward but we are just one piece away from being good" even though they're not.  So confusing, especially since Marshawn Lynch is still their only running back.  Needless to say, I took the under on their team total wins of . 
-  So Randy Moss retired, which I guess is a pretty big deal in the Football.  I'd call him the best receiver I've ever seen play.  Jerry Rice put up better stats and, unlike Brett Favre and Pete Rose, was far more than just a compiler and the second best receiver I ever saw, but Moss blows him away.  I have two very distinct memories of him that immediately spring to mind - the Monday night game against Green Bay and the Thanksgiving game against Dallas.

The Monday night game I remember because I was in college and we were watching the game with a Green Bay fan (Hi WSCT-QB) and I remember by the second quarter he basically decided he was done with the game and proceeded to pound beers at a 2-1 rate to the rest of us.  The Dallas game I remember because Moss was just ridiculous, including a touchdown where the safety had the angle on him to the sideline, he put one move on, and somehow raced down the sideline blowing right past the Dallas guy - it was just amazing and his third TD of the game.  I was at the future Mrs. W's parents place for the day and basically made a fool of myself in front of my girlfriend's family celebrating, especially because her family wasn't exactly into the sports.  But I could help it.  It was incredible.  He was amazing to watch and in a way he saved Viking football.  I'll always love him.  JUNGLE FEVER!

-  As a commenter pointed out in the comments, which is where a commenter would naturally be found, it's Shark Week and I'm pleased to say I believe they fixed it.  The last few years Shark Week has kind of pissed me off for two reasons:

1. Not enough shows.  Basically the shark stuff was on from 8-10 each night and replayed from 10-12, but that was the extent of shark week.  And then the weekend was just replays from the previous shows that week, so really you were only getting 10 hours of shark programming each shark week.
2. Forcing their other programming into Shark Week.  A big chunk of the "new programming" each year was becoming Discovery taking their existing shows (Mythbusters, Dirty Jobs, etc.) and shoehorning Shark themes into.  Gay.  Just show some sweet shark footage and get the hell out of the way.

So this year they're showing new shoes from 8-10 each night (replayed 10-12) all seven nights and filling in almost the entire week of programming, all 24 hours or 20 hours or whatever amount of time isn't filled in with infomercials for the food dehydrator or various Ronco products (SET IT AND FORGET IT!!) with older shark shows and the new stuff is the good kind of stuff - sweet shark footage without gimmicks and straight science learnin'.  And as an added bonus, you'll notice National Geographic is running there own parallel, if not official, shark week although most of their shit is from 2007 or earlier.  Still.  Sharks galore.

-  I sent this out via the Twitter as well, but check out this little article from The Onion on your precious Twins:  http://bit.ly/pOrsYu

-  Finally, Dustin Ackley is a complete pimp.  Also Angie Harmon is still pretty hot.  Is she still with that white cornerback guy?

 

What an incredible body.  He must work out.

Monday Musings

Why are weekends at the cabin always so exhausting?  Seriously, I mostly just fished and drank, yet when I got home last night I was way too tired to even think of putting words down on a screen that about 13 people will probably read and are mostly stupid anyway.  I suppose it's probably the drinking.  Anyway, that's why there was no week in review post.  I'll try to make it up to you by posting things right now instead.

-  Might as well start with the obvious: the Twins are just ridiculous.  Seven straight wins, 14-2 in their last 16, and now they're suddenly just 8 games out of first and in an actual position where the idea of them winning the division is no longer out of the question.  And they're doing it with nobody.  Kubel's on the DL.  Morneau is on the DL.  Thome is on the DL.  Span is on the DL.  Mauer just came off along with Nishioka.  Valencia is banged up.  Delmon Young is retarded.  It's just amazing.  I can't stand Gardy but maybe there's something to this "manager of the year" stuff.

Honestly I can't wrap my head around it.  The team is being carried by Alexi Casilla and a bunch of other AAAA-types.  Casilla is hitting .348 with 7 doubles over the last four weeks and even added a home run (which I thought had to have been a mis-speak when I heard it on the radio) over the weekend.  Matt Tolbert has been a competent major league hitter.  Danny Valencia is showing power.  Cuddy is almost impossible to get out.  Ben Revere has been a joy to watch, and even toothpick hitters like Jason Repko, Rene Tosoni, Hughesy, and those two dingleberry catchers are coming up with big hits.  I completely understand why the White Sox and Ozzie are so terrified of the Twins.  No matter how good the pitching has been (and it's been very, very good lately) a team regularly trotting out a lineup of Revere/Casilla/whoever is healthy and can hit/Cuddyer/Valencia/Hughes/Dinkleman/Butera/Tolbert should lose, approximately, 90% of their games.  Instead the Twins have gotten hot.  So stupid.  Honest to god they're my favorite team but even I almost hate them for their ability to somehow constantly pull this shit off.  But I don't.  Go Twins.  I'm starting to think we might even get to watch them get swept by the Yankees in the playoffs again.

-  Couple quick U.S. Open notes, one good and one bad.  First, how impressive was Rory McIlroy's win? (and no, I didn't have any money down on him to win).  I really wish I would have had a chance to watch more of his play over the weekend, but unfortunately the cabin only gets channel 4, but man everything sounded good.  He fired out with a 65 in the opener to take the lead, then followed that up with a 66 to give him the all-time best score to par through 36 holes at -11.  Saturday he shot 68 and Sunday 69, which also gave him the all-time record for 54 and 72 holes, and an 8-shot US Open win (over Jason Day, who, incidentally, is going to win the PGA this year).

Now, clearly that's an incredibly stellar performance by McIlroy, either the most impressive or second most impressive major win every (along with Tiger's Masters), but I do think we need to ease back on the "where will McIlroy rank when it's all said and done" talk.  It's still just one major.  I know, it's very exciting that he's just 22 and has been on a roll that's had him in contention in every major lately but "the next Tiger Woods"?  Really, Charch?  I like McIlroy.  Hell, he's one of my favorite golfers, but to get even halfway to Woods' major total - if he doesn't add to it - he'll need to win six more.  If you had to lay money on him being more likely to win 0 more or 6 more in his career, which side would you take?

The 6 right, but it's a toughy.  That's not the next Tiger.  There probably isn't going to be one, so relax, nerd.

Secondly, I've gotten a couple of comments from people who read this shitty blog about how I always pick Hunter Mahan to win the U.S. Open, and it's true - I do.  The reason is because his career was looking like it was built to win a US Open.  His first three times playing in it, not counting 2003 - his rookie year, he finished 13th-18th-6th.  When early in the 2010 season he broke through with his first win since 2007 at the Phoenix Open vs. a pretty good field, everything looked set for him to win his first major at the US Open at Pebble.  So what's he do?  Shoots 78-74 and misses the cut.  I was heartbroken.

Then comes this year.  He's been on fire:  Seven top 10s this year, just one missed cut, and a run of 16th-6th-10th-13th in his last four starts which included the Players and the Memorial.  Once again, looking like a good bet to win the U.S. Open.  So what's he do?   Fires a 74-73 and misses the cut again.  Honest to god, this guy has gone from looking like an inevitable US Open winner to a complete US Open choker and I hate him like Super Sioux Fan hates delicious animals. 

-  Dustin Ackley.  Look out folks, the starting second baseman for the American League All-Star Team for the next 12 years just arrived.  Think Chase Utley without the chicken legs or weinerness.  Guy can just flat out rake.  As a freshman at North Carolina in 2007 he became just the fifth player in Tar Heel history to bat .400 for a season - and then went and did it again the next two years as well before being drafted #2 by Seattle.  After a good 2-year run in the minors that included winning the MVP of the Arizona Fall League, Ackely made his Mariner debut over the weekend and collected his first major league hit, first major league triple, and first major league home run.  He is going to be a star (and I think I'm officially in love with the Mariners right side of the infield).  If you can, pick him up in your fantasy league and thank me later.  Of course, if you're in my league you can't because I already have him.  Neener neener neener.

-  So I've been hearing lately that the Timberwolves might be considering trading the #2 pick now that Cleveland officially announced they were taking Kyrie Irving #1, which was frankly the most obvious thing in the world since that dude from Twilight announcing he's gay.  The reason they are looking at trading the pick:  Derrick Williams is the obvious pick and they have too many forwards?  What.  the.  fuck.  You won 17 games all of last season and now you're turning down best player available because of Michael Beasley and Wesley Johnson?  I am not 100% against trading the pick or anything, but you better be getting a big haul - like 2 players and a top 10 pick, and that is exactly what I don't trust David Kahn to do.  I suppose you never know what to expect from a team that once drafted four PGs in the same draft, but keep in mind this information comes from Paul Charchian so I'd say there's about a 20% chance it's true and a 98% chance it's douchey.

-  Speaking of the draft, it looks like not only is Jimmer Fredette going to be a lottery pick but there are a handful of teams actively trying to trade up to get him.  Again - what.  the.  fuck.  Is the power of a white boy on the American wallet really that strong?  The guy can score and is like a poor man's The Professor with the ball - I get it.  But as I said after the NCAA Tournament, "Freaking amazing when he has the ball, right?  Amazing shooter with unlimited range and a hair-trigger release, ability to get by a defender off the dribble and get into the lane, an excellent eye to find open teammates for easy hoops, and just amazing body control.  Really an impressive player with the ball.  But did you happen to notice him when he doesn't have the ball?  I've never seen a lazier god damn player in my life.  He does one of three things if he doesn't have the ball:

1. Stand there
2. Clap his hands and call for the ball.
3. Run directly at his teammate with the ball and clap his hands while calling for the ball

That's it.  That's the entire repertoire.  My favorite though is any time he passes the ball and it doesn't directly lead to a shot for this teammate he immediately follows his own pass, naturally while clapping and calling for the ball.  There's a reason nobody on this team every gets an assist other than Jimmer, and that's because he either shoots, creates a shot for somebody else, or immediately demands the ball back.  Honestly I was pretty unimpressed, and I watched all four of his games in this tournament and they were all the same.  Add in a level of defense that would make Blake Hoffarber turn red with embarrassment and he might be the most overrated player since Adam Morrison.  If this guys wins National Player of the Year it'll be a travesty and, frankly, should probably spark off some race riots.  But that's pretty much my answer for everything."

And I stand by that.  Especially the race riot part.

-  Wait.  The NBA Draft is on Thursday?  Holy shit.  I got a lot of work to do.  And I have stupid softball that night.  DAMMIT..  I should just quit.

-  Do you know who's closing for the Rays this year?  Guess.  Give up?  It's Kyle freaking Farnsworth.  Kyle Farnsworth.  One one hand you could say he's been a quality set-up man who hasn't been given much of a shot at closing.  On the other, more accurate, hand you could say he's inconsistent as hell and his career as a set-up man has as many god awful years as decent ones.  I don't even care that he's been lights out this year there's almost no way this is going to continue.  I'd say he's going to cost them a playoff spot, but my sexy boyfriend Evan Longoria is helping to do that too.  I don't know, man, we're still going steady but with Justin Smoak and Dustin Ackley breathing down his neck and old flame Cole Hamels back in the picture I'm just not sure how much longer we'll last. I'm tempted man, tempted.  It's like co-ed softball, but with dudes.  Hot dudes.

-  Did you know the Marlins have lost like 38 straight games?  That may seem pretty irrelevant to you, but some of us took the Marlins to win over 81.5 games this year and just a few short weeks ago when they were 29-19 we were practically counting our money.  Now they're 32-41 and I'm scrambling to figure out how to pay our next mortgage bill.  Oh well.  There's always winning the lottery.  Also food stamps.  THANK YOU OBAMA!

-  Finally, it seems like a lot of people are kind of bored by this but it's the first "serious" sports movie that hasn't made me roll my eyes since He Got Game and the first sports movie period since Varsity Blues that I'm actually interested in so fuck you, Chris N.  Sports, nerd stats, and the hottest man alive (and Brad Pitt, too)?  I'm all in.  Which, since I have two kids and zero free-time, means I'll probably rent it 3 weeks after it's out on DVD.  Hooray for my stupid life.

Where for art thou, Deolis Guerra?

Yes, I know we are in the heart of the Big Ten season, but if I write too many times consecutively about Gopher basketball I start to have heart palpitations mixed with a deep depression, and since I already took every pill in the house (uppers, downers, hallucinagins, antidepressants and sexual performance enhancers all in play) after the Indiana loss, my only possible solace here is to turn to Twins talk.  Since it's not even February yet, optimism can reign supreme.  Maybe.  Until June, at least.

Keith Law of ESPN.com put out his list of the top 100 prospects in baseball, and I'm going to go ahead and give a few comments about those players of which I am knowledgeable enough to speak, and a few that I'm probably not.  Full list is at that link right there above.  If you still have your little heart set on reading about the Gophers, the preview of the Ohio State game is in the post directly below this one.  [SPOILER:  I bet they lose.].

The interesting people, in reverse order:

 97.  Miguel Sano, SS, Twins.  You remember this guy, he's the supposed 16 year old from the Dominican the Twins signed this summer when they shockingly opened up the wallet.  He signed too late last year so there really isn't any way to evaluate him against professional pitching, but he's supposed to have all the tools.  He projects to end up becoming a 3b, which means he'll probably be ready to take over just as Danny Valencia is leaving to sign a 7-year, $140-million contract with the Yankees.


91.  Jose Iglesias, SS, Red Sox.  I mostly just included him because being given that name must have sucked something fierce.  Also, Law says he could end up as an "Adam Everett" at worst.  Dude, that's pretty bad.  I wouldn't be using that as a positive argument.

90.  Jake Arrieta, SP, Orioles.  He finished last year in triple-A and is already 23, so there's a good chance he'll be in the bigs this year.  The Orioles are actually quietly starting to move back in the right direction after many, many, many years of spending stupidly and making really dumb decisions.  They have a nice lineup this year, and a good number of young arms.  If everything works out, they might end up challenging for second in the division sometime in the next ten years.

89.  Kyle Gibson, SP, Twins.  Above average command and control, three good pitches, a lot of groundballs, and a 93 mph heater - sounds like a prototypical Twins pitcher, except this one was projected to be the 10-12th pick in the draft.  The Twins stole him at 22 due to a stress fracture in his arm, but all indications are he's back to normal.  And hopefully not like the Liriano back-to-normal, but a real back-to-normal.

87.  Aaron Crow, SP, Royals.  Could be a Greinke-level monster once he gets to the bigs.  I'm hoping the Royals do something really stupid and end up trading him for like, Alfonso Soriano or something just to get him out of the Twins' division.

73.  Fernando Martinez, OF, Mets.  I think this guy has been on the list for about five years now, but has yet to make any real progress due to constant injuries.  He was the top prospect in the Mets system at one point, but, as Phil Humber, Carlos Gomez, Deolis Guerra, and Kevin Mulvey have shown us, that doesn't necessarily mean squat.

72.  Mike Leake, SP, Reds.  I don't think this is Kelly's dad, since they spell their last name's differently and he'd be far too old at this point.

70.  Austin Jackson, OF, Yankees.  If this name rings a bell it's probably because at one point his name was being bandied about in the Johan discussion all those many years ago, when we were still optimistic that we would end up getting more than two seasons of great center field defense and a whole bunch of flailing about at the plate out of the best pitcher of the 00s.  Well, now he's in the Tigers' system, coming over for Curtis Granderson.  At 23 and with five years in the minors, it's probably now or never.

58.  Tyler Flowers, C, White Sox.  Coming soon to a Twins' game near you.  He might start the year in the minors, but he'll be in the majors at some point and might even end up starting by the end of the year.  His last two seasons he's OPSed .939 and .921 at AAA and A+ ball, although his defense is subpar at this point.

57.  Jose Tabata, OF, Pirates.  This is the main guy the Pirates picked up in the Damaso Marte/Xavier Nady trade with the Yankees, so it would be pretty sweet if he ends up being good.  Plus, I'm still rooting for the Pirates.  I think they're starting to do some smart things, and this would be a big step in the right direction - and it's starting get late on his clock, so a good year this year would be a nice start.

54.  Alcides Escobar, SS, Brewers.  This is why they traded J.J. Hardy.  He should be in the bigs this year, so we'll see if that works out for them.  Well, it pretty much already will when Carlos Gomez turns into the next Tim Raines, but we'll see how the SS part works out.

52.  Hank Conger, C, Angels.  Just wanted to point out that this guy's name is Hank and he's Asian.  That's weird.

42.  Wilson Ramos, C, Twins.  There's no doubt this guy can hit a ton and is a very good catcher as well, as long as he can stay healthy.  If the Twins end up not signing Mauer, he's the catcher of the future.  If they do, he's going to be a very valuable chip - the kind that could be used to grab some valuable help for a pennant race at the trade deadline.  I'm just kidding of course, you know they'll never end up trading him, regardless of what kind of help is available that they would need.

40.  Kyle Drabek, SP, Blue Jays.  Maybe the key to the Halladay/Lee deal, Drabek has a chance to end up as a top-end pitcher if he can recover all the way from Tommy John surgery.  He returned last year and had a very good showing at A and AA ball, so things look good for the kid. 


33.  Chris Carter, 1B, Athletics.  I say first baseman, but it's pretty clear this guy is really more of a DH.  There's no doubt he can hit, though.  He hit 25 home runs in the minors in 2007, 39 in 2008, and 28 in 2009 (while hitting .329/.422/.570).  I would anticipate him starting at AAA, but we should see him in the majors this year - probably taking Jesse Crain deep.

30.  Josh Vitters, 3B, Cubs.  I just get a kick out of this guy because he just hates to walk.  Hates it.  In his minor-league career he's just 26 times in 830 pro plate appearances.  For reference, that's the same amount of walks Carlos Gomez had in his first year with the Twins, but Gomez had 200 less plate appearances, and nine fewer than Delmon Young had, again in about 200 less at bats.  I mean, this guy might very well be insane.

28.  Madison Bumgarner, SP, Giants.  Was a top-5 or top-10 prospect on pretty much everybody's list at the beginning of last year, but has fallen a bit out of favor due to a drop in velocity.  Of course, he looked great in his 10 major-league innings last year, posting a 1.80 ERA and a 1.10 WHIP with a nice 9.0 K/9 ratio.  Velocity drop or no, those are really impressive numbers for a 19-year old major leaguer.  I'm stunned that he's as low as 28th.  Stupifyed, really.  Like a spell from Ginny Weasley's wand.

25.  Zack Britton, SP, Orioles.  Just another young O's pitcher like I was talking about before, although he's probably not quite major-league ready just yet.  

22.  Tyler Matzek, SP, Rockies.  I just wanted to mention him here because he's the top prospect in the Rockies' system and the Rocks are my National League team.  He's brand spanking new, just picked last year right out of high school, so we have no data to look at, but he's apparently already got four pretty good pitches.  Could be the next Jason Marquis - stay tuned.

19.  Aaron Hicks, OF, Twins.  I feel encouraged by having a Twin in the top 20, even if the team's overall farm system is only ranked 13th overall.  Basically the scouting report on this kid is that he's a true five-tool prospect, who, although he has a ways to go to completely realize those tools, has as much potential as anybody, especially for a 19-year old.  He's everything we wanted Carlos Gomez to be.

16.  Aroldis Chapman, SP, Reds.  I smell bust.  Way to blow your load on an absolute question mark, Cincinnati.  Seriously, you outbid the Yankees for a Cuban.  I have a feeling this was kind of like an auction for something you don't really want, but you're sure somebody else wants and you want to keep bidding them up, trying to make them pay more.  Then they stop bidding when you're winning, and you're like "oh shit."

17 & 15.  Jeremy Hellickson and Wade Davis, SPs, Rays.  Just in case you thought the Rays didn't have enough young, potential superstars.  Davis cracked the majors last year and looked good in his six starts and should start the year as part of the Rays' rotation, and Hellickson might join him there after having a very good year in AAA in 2009.


13.  Neftali Perez, SP, Rangers.  The first of three Rangers in the top 13 on this list, and that doesn't even count Elvis Andrus, last season's runner-up for AL Rookie-of-the-Year.  Or Nelson Cruz, who made the all-star team in hi second season.  Or Chris Davis, who took a step back last year but hit 17 homers in 317 PAs as a rookie two years ago.  Or their bunch of young pitching prospects.  How did the Rangers suddenly end up looking so promising?
  
11.  Brian Matusz, SP, Orioles.  Yet another Oriole pitcher.  Should be in the rotation from the get-go this season.

9.  Justin Smoak, 1B, Rangers.  Another Ranger.  Should be a better fielding, switch-hitting Billy Butler with more power.  I'm already scared.

8.  Dustin Ackley, OF/1B, Mariners.  The second-pick in last year's draft, Ackley is the rare position player who is returning from Tommy John surgery - thus the move from the OF to 1B.  The Mariners have discussed making him a 2B, which with his combination of hitting for average/hitting for power/plate discipline, would have a very good chance of making him a perennial all-star.

7.  Martin Perez, SP, Rangers.  The last of the Rangers.  I've never even heard of this guy, but I thought I should put him in here since I'm all up on Texas's nuts and everything.

4.  Buster Posey, C, Giants.  That's either the best name I've ever heard, or the worst name I've ever heard.

3.  Carlos Santana, C, Indians.  You got the kinda lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah, give me heart, make it real, or else forget about it.  (obvious, but I bet you laughed anyway.  or smiled at least.  I bet you smiled.  Come on.  It was funnier than Leno.  Admit that much you tough-love son of a bitch).

2.  Stephen Strasburg, SP, Nationals.  Putting Strasburg second reeks of either contrarianism or an overreaction to his mediocre showing in fall ball.  Either way, there's little doubt he's going to be a star.  When your downside is as a #2 starter, you know you've got potential.  Of course, there's always the ballad of Brien Taylor, if you need a reminder of how potential doens't always = success.

1.  Jason Heyward, OF, Braves.  I hadn't heard of this dude before, which embarrasses me somewhat, but he ripped the crap out of AA pitching last year, and had a lot of success in a very short AAA stint to close the year.  Law says he'll be a star, so I guess we should pay some attention here.


There's the list.  There were four notable omissions, or at least there were four names that popped into my head without really thinking about it, so I'll touch on them quickly before I close:

1.  Ben Revere, OF, Twins.  Depending on who you ask, he's either a future star (John Sickels has him #2 in the system), or nothing more than Juan Pierre (Law's concern).  I'm sure you're an idiot who thinks Juan Pierre is good because he's fast and hits right around .300, but that's because you're stupid and I wish I was a GM and you were a GM and then I could trade you Pierre and get way too much for him and you'd feel good about it.

God you're dumb.  Anyway, I've seen his absolute upside is Kenny Lofton, which would be pretty good.  Let's all hope for that, and not run around trying to make out wiht Juan Pierre, ok?

2.  Deolis Guerra, P, Twins.  Sigh.  The last remaining piece of from the trading of Johan.  God I miss him so much.  Instead we have this guy.  He doesn't make Law's top 10 list for the Twins, and he doesn't make Sickels' top 20.  He hasn't posed an ERA under 4.01 in the last three years.  FML.


3.  Tim Alderson, P, Pirates.  Notable because this is who the Giants traded to get Freddy Sanchez.  At one point considered a pretty big-time prospect, it seems Alderson has fallen out of favor, ranking #6 on Law's Pirate list and #5 on Sickels' list - not bad, but not as elite as he once was.  Prospect in free-fall, or underrated?  It's the Pirates, so I'm going to go with the free-fall thing.


4.  Scott Sizemore, 2B, Tigers.  I actually only know of him because when I learned Polanco might be available I started doing some digging into the fan/blog world of the Tigers and found out most fans were just fine with getting rid of Placido because Sizemore (who I assume is related to either Grady or Tom) was waiting in the wings.  He broke his ankle like some kind of girl late in the year last season, but he still ranks #6 on Sickels' list and #5 on Law's of overall Tiger prospects.  Expect to be annoyed by him early and often.

 
So there's your list.  Four Twin prospects can't be bad, especially considering the team is fairly young as is.  The one major criticism I've seen of the Twins' system is that there isn't much there that is ready right now, but it's in decent shape for future years and I have no problem with that.  Of course, if they don't sign Mauer I'll probably just kill myself along with the rest of the state.  They all worship him zombie-like, but I can't fault them because he's really just that good (although most of you cretins worship him for the wrong reasons).  If there is no signing, short of a trade to Texas for Teagarden, Andrus, Smoak, and Perez, I am pretty sure I'm just going give up and move to either New York or Pittsburgh.  At least you know enough to either believe or give up in those states.  I'm sick of these games here.  It's like taking some broad to the drive in, you don't know what you're getting.  I'd rather take the slut or the good-girl, not some middle of road confusing person.  I dont' know if you can tell, but I suspect you can, I've been getting progressively drunker as this post has gone on.  At this point I've already given up and am trying to figure out ways to trade Mauer and Morneau for more prospects.

"Are you guys ready?  We better get going if we're going to stay ahead of the weather."

Twins MLB Draft Review

Last night was the big MLB draft, and even though I know very little about it, I nonetheless feel pretty much just as qualified as most morons who write about sports on mainstream sights, so I'm going to break it down anyway.

- Stephen Strasburg, unreal stud RHP out of San Diego State went first overall to the Nationals in what was apparently a no-brainer. Of course, no brainer pitchers early in the draft are always a guarantee. I mean the last ten first overall picks who were pitchers have been David Price, Luke Hochevar, Brian Bullington, Matt Anderson, Kris Benson, Paul Wilson, Brien Taylor, Ben McDonald, Andy Benes, and Tim Belcher. Not exactly an all-timer list, and Taylor was probably the biggest bust in history - more so even than Ryan Leaf. All the talking head people assure us that he is the real deal and is already all the way polished thanks to his time throwing in college, but I remember hearing the same things about Mark Prior. So everything sounds good, and he was definitely the no-brainer pick at #1 - and could even possibly hit the majors this year, but let's all just settle down and not start handing out Cy Young's just yet.

- The #2 and #3 picks were the only other two people I have heard of in this draft, not counting that one Gopher guy who is good. The Mariners took CF Dustin Ackley out of North Carolina at #2 and the Padres took CF Donavan Tate, a high school kid, with the #3 pick. The only thing I know about these two is that Ackley is that he is pretty much unanimously considered the best pure hitter in the draft but is also coming off of Tommy John surgery and has had to play first base for the Heels because of it. Kind of a big question mark, but if he can hit, I have no doubt a place will be found for him. I know even less about Tate, but he sounds like an incredible athlete who hasn't really learned to hit yet. After watching Gomez for a year and a half, I'd pass on this kid faster than Al Nolen passes on an open jump shot.

- The #4 pick was the Pirates, and they took some kid I've never heard of, a catcher from Boston College the likely made up name Jorge Sanchez, even though I they already have Ryan Doumit, maybe their best player, behind the dish and I had heard they were going to go after some latino shortstop with three names. Whatever. Enough of all these people I haven't heard of and don't care about. On to the Twins.

- Mrs. W just asked if I wanted to get Grey's Anatomy Season One from Netflix. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No.

- The Twins first pick, #22 overall, ended up being RHP Kyle Gibson out of U of Missouri (Arty Johnson U, holla). He's a very interesting pick, and one that LaVelle brought up previously on his blog at the Star Tribune site. According to Mr. Neal, Gibson was ranked as the fourth best prospect in the draft (he neglected to cite his source and I neglected to look one up due to Mr. Vodka), but slipped for two reasons. The first was concerns he would ask for a huge bonus. Knowing the Twins as well as I unfortunately do, I assume they made sure to get this figured out before they drafted him. Second, he's dealing with a stress fracture in his pitching arm - always a positive sign for a pitcher. But apparently the kid is the shit. He hits 94 with his fastball at times, but is more of a sinking fastball type with two other plus pitches in his slider and changeup. If that wasn't enough to convince you he is Twins' material, check out this line from last season: 99 innings, 18 walks (123 strikeouts to boot). Sounds pretty good if the injury checks out. I'm giving this a cautious thumbs up.

- We're watching some weird show about weird religious people with a billion kids right now (well, the Mrs. is, I'm obviously blogging about very important social issues) and this super naive religious guy was talking about taking medicine and he called his wife "The Master of Swallowing." I don't care who you are, that's funny.

- The Twins second pick just came through, their "sandwich pick" for losing Dennis Reyes, which is pretty funny when you think about it - because he's fat, you see. It would probably make me hungry, but I made the World's Greatest Chili^TM tonight so I'm good. What was my point? Oh yeah, with the #46 pick (which seems incredibly generous for getting rid of Reyes) the Twinks took LHP Matthew Bashore out of Indiana U. Seeing as this is a Gopher blog, you'd think I'd be familiar with some of the pitcher's around the Big Ten. Well, you're super wrong. But I CAN tell you what the internet says about him.

Bashore dealt with arm issues in the off-season, being relegated to the bullpen in the Cape Cod League of Summer Catch fame, in what is seemingly a conscious draft theme at this point, but recovered once he got back to the Hoosiers to post five quality starts in his last six outings - I have no idea if that is impressive or not in college. The scouting sounds pretty solid, as Bashore is reported to have four good pitches including a nice splitter and is said to be a very polished college player. So yeah. Go team.

- As we wait for the last Twins pick of the day I think I don't really remember I just remembered the fourth guy I had heard of. His name is Aaron Crow, and he's a pitcher who was actually drafted at #9 last year but didn't sign. He then decided to go play in the independent league for the Fort Worthless Cats which makes me angry all-over again about how much that god forsaken city sucks, but it seems he pitched pretty well for the newest stopover for top prospects, supplanting the Saint Paul Saints (Luke Hochevar and Max Scherzer pitched their previously).

Crow pitched three games, totaling 17 innings with 17 strikeouts and just five walks, while opponents hit just .196 against him resulting in an ERA of 1.06. Pretty solid. What I read had him as the #2 pitcher on the board (after Strasburg), yet he fell all the way #12, the eighth pitcher taken, falling right in Kansas City's lap. With Greinke, Hochevar, and now the potential of Crow, KC is poised to possibly make some noise in a couple of years. Although Hochevar will flame out, Crow will end up as a middle reliever, and Greinke will be a Yankee. Hooray MLB Draft!!!!

- The Magic shot 75% in the first half tonight, and they are up only five at the half. Christ, this garbage is pretty much over.

- Ok, the Twins have taken their next two selections, their last for tonight. They went with another couple of pitchers, this time RHP William Bullock out of Florida and RHP Benjamin Tootle out of Jacksonville State. Tootle has powerful stuff, and although he was a starter in college most scouts see him as a reliever in the pros (is he ready, like, today, by any chance?). He continues a theme of banged up players in the draft for the Twins - he battled some kind of crazy virus (swine flu?) when he was in the Cape League, causing him to slip. Billy Bullock is similar to Tootle, but without the flu problem. He is called the best bullpen guy in the draft from the SEC by Baseball America, and can hit 97 on the radar gun. Given the Twins problems in that area, I am happy with these last two picks.

- Home run #16 for Morneau. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but Mrs. W always refers to Morneau as "big head" and refuses to refer to him as anything else. That's all.

- Delmon with an RBI already tonight and it's only the fifth. That gives him 15 already on the season. And it's still early.

- Kobe missed a layup. Nice job queer.

- Delmon Young's middle name is Damarcus.

- Kobe misses free throws. Nice job queer.

- I got nothin' left. In penance, I offer up this picture of Alyssa Milano in Twins' gear:

If we aren't square after that, I don't know what else to do.