Where for art thou, Deolis Guerra?

Yes, I know we are in the heart of the Big Ten season, but if I write too many times consecutively about Gopher basketball I start to have heart palpitations mixed with a deep depression, and since I already took every pill in the house (uppers, downers, hallucinagins, antidepressants and sexual performance enhancers all in play) after the Indiana loss, my only possible solace here is to turn to Twins talk.  Since it's not even February yet, optimism can reign supreme.  Maybe.  Until June, at least.

Keith Law of ESPN.com put out his list of the top 100 prospects in baseball, and I'm going to go ahead and give a few comments about those players of which I am knowledgeable enough to speak, and a few that I'm probably not.  Full list is at that link right there above.  If you still have your little heart set on reading about the Gophers, the preview of the Ohio State game is in the post directly below this one.  [SPOILER:  I bet they lose.].

The interesting people, in reverse order:

 97.  Miguel Sano, SS, Twins.  You remember this guy, he's the supposed 16 year old from the Dominican the Twins signed this summer when they shockingly opened up the wallet.  He signed too late last year so there really isn't any way to evaluate him against professional pitching, but he's supposed to have all the tools.  He projects to end up becoming a 3b, which means he'll probably be ready to take over just as Danny Valencia is leaving to sign a 7-year, $140-million contract with the Yankees.


91.  Jose Iglesias, SS, Red Sox.  I mostly just included him because being given that name must have sucked something fierce.  Also, Law says he could end up as an "Adam Everett" at worst.  Dude, that's pretty bad.  I wouldn't be using that as a positive argument.

90.  Jake Arrieta, SP, Orioles.  He finished last year in triple-A and is already 23, so there's a good chance he'll be in the bigs this year.  The Orioles are actually quietly starting to move back in the right direction after many, many, many years of spending stupidly and making really dumb decisions.  They have a nice lineup this year, and a good number of young arms.  If everything works out, they might end up challenging for second in the division sometime in the next ten years.

89.  Kyle Gibson, SP, Twins.  Above average command and control, three good pitches, a lot of groundballs, and a 93 mph heater - sounds like a prototypical Twins pitcher, except this one was projected to be the 10-12th pick in the draft.  The Twins stole him at 22 due to a stress fracture in his arm, but all indications are he's back to normal.  And hopefully not like the Liriano back-to-normal, but a real back-to-normal.

87.  Aaron Crow, SP, Royals.  Could be a Greinke-level monster once he gets to the bigs.  I'm hoping the Royals do something really stupid and end up trading him for like, Alfonso Soriano or something just to get him out of the Twins' division.

73.  Fernando Martinez, OF, Mets.  I think this guy has been on the list for about five years now, but has yet to make any real progress due to constant injuries.  He was the top prospect in the Mets system at one point, but, as Phil Humber, Carlos Gomez, Deolis Guerra, and Kevin Mulvey have shown us, that doesn't necessarily mean squat.

72.  Mike Leake, SP, Reds.  I don't think this is Kelly's dad, since they spell their last name's differently and he'd be far too old at this point.

70.  Austin Jackson, OF, Yankees.  If this name rings a bell it's probably because at one point his name was being bandied about in the Johan discussion all those many years ago, when we were still optimistic that we would end up getting more than two seasons of great center field defense and a whole bunch of flailing about at the plate out of the best pitcher of the 00s.  Well, now he's in the Tigers' system, coming over for Curtis Granderson.  At 23 and with five years in the minors, it's probably now or never.

58.  Tyler Flowers, C, White Sox.  Coming soon to a Twins' game near you.  He might start the year in the minors, but he'll be in the majors at some point and might even end up starting by the end of the year.  His last two seasons he's OPSed .939 and .921 at AAA and A+ ball, although his defense is subpar at this point.

57.  Jose Tabata, OF, Pirates.  This is the main guy the Pirates picked up in the Damaso Marte/Xavier Nady trade with the Yankees, so it would be pretty sweet if he ends up being good.  Plus, I'm still rooting for the Pirates.  I think they're starting to do some smart things, and this would be a big step in the right direction - and it's starting get late on his clock, so a good year this year would be a nice start.

54.  Alcides Escobar, SS, Brewers.  This is why they traded J.J. Hardy.  He should be in the bigs this year, so we'll see if that works out for them.  Well, it pretty much already will when Carlos Gomez turns into the next Tim Raines, but we'll see how the SS part works out.

52.  Hank Conger, C, Angels.  Just wanted to point out that this guy's name is Hank and he's Asian.  That's weird.

42.  Wilson Ramos, C, Twins.  There's no doubt this guy can hit a ton and is a very good catcher as well, as long as he can stay healthy.  If the Twins end up not signing Mauer, he's the catcher of the future.  If they do, he's going to be a very valuable chip - the kind that could be used to grab some valuable help for a pennant race at the trade deadline.  I'm just kidding of course, you know they'll never end up trading him, regardless of what kind of help is available that they would need.

40.  Kyle Drabek, SP, Blue Jays.  Maybe the key to the Halladay/Lee deal, Drabek has a chance to end up as a top-end pitcher if he can recover all the way from Tommy John surgery.  He returned last year and had a very good showing at A and AA ball, so things look good for the kid. 


33.  Chris Carter, 1B, Athletics.  I say first baseman, but it's pretty clear this guy is really more of a DH.  There's no doubt he can hit, though.  He hit 25 home runs in the minors in 2007, 39 in 2008, and 28 in 2009 (while hitting .329/.422/.570).  I would anticipate him starting at AAA, but we should see him in the majors this year - probably taking Jesse Crain deep.

30.  Josh Vitters, 3B, Cubs.  I just get a kick out of this guy because he just hates to walk.  Hates it.  In his minor-league career he's just 26 times in 830 pro plate appearances.  For reference, that's the same amount of walks Carlos Gomez had in his first year with the Twins, but Gomez had 200 less plate appearances, and nine fewer than Delmon Young had, again in about 200 less at bats.  I mean, this guy might very well be insane.

28.  Madison Bumgarner, SP, Giants.  Was a top-5 or top-10 prospect on pretty much everybody's list at the beginning of last year, but has fallen a bit out of favor due to a drop in velocity.  Of course, he looked great in his 10 major-league innings last year, posting a 1.80 ERA and a 1.10 WHIP with a nice 9.0 K/9 ratio.  Velocity drop or no, those are really impressive numbers for a 19-year old major leaguer.  I'm stunned that he's as low as 28th.  Stupifyed, really.  Like a spell from Ginny Weasley's wand.

25.  Zack Britton, SP, Orioles.  Just another young O's pitcher like I was talking about before, although he's probably not quite major-league ready just yet.  

22.  Tyler Matzek, SP, Rockies.  I just wanted to mention him here because he's the top prospect in the Rockies' system and the Rocks are my National League team.  He's brand spanking new, just picked last year right out of high school, so we have no data to look at, but he's apparently already got four pretty good pitches.  Could be the next Jason Marquis - stay tuned.

19.  Aaron Hicks, OF, Twins.  I feel encouraged by having a Twin in the top 20, even if the team's overall farm system is only ranked 13th overall.  Basically the scouting report on this kid is that he's a true five-tool prospect, who, although he has a ways to go to completely realize those tools, has as much potential as anybody, especially for a 19-year old.  He's everything we wanted Carlos Gomez to be.

16.  Aroldis Chapman, SP, Reds.  I smell bust.  Way to blow your load on an absolute question mark, Cincinnati.  Seriously, you outbid the Yankees for a Cuban.  I have a feeling this was kind of like an auction for something you don't really want, but you're sure somebody else wants and you want to keep bidding them up, trying to make them pay more.  Then they stop bidding when you're winning, and you're like "oh shit."

17 & 15.  Jeremy Hellickson and Wade Davis, SPs, Rays.  Just in case you thought the Rays didn't have enough young, potential superstars.  Davis cracked the majors last year and looked good in his six starts and should start the year as part of the Rays' rotation, and Hellickson might join him there after having a very good year in AAA in 2009.


13.  Neftali Perez, SP, Rangers.  The first of three Rangers in the top 13 on this list, and that doesn't even count Elvis Andrus, last season's runner-up for AL Rookie-of-the-Year.  Or Nelson Cruz, who made the all-star team in hi second season.  Or Chris Davis, who took a step back last year but hit 17 homers in 317 PAs as a rookie two years ago.  Or their bunch of young pitching prospects.  How did the Rangers suddenly end up looking so promising?
  
11.  Brian Matusz, SP, Orioles.  Yet another Oriole pitcher.  Should be in the rotation from the get-go this season.

9.  Justin Smoak, 1B, Rangers.  Another Ranger.  Should be a better fielding, switch-hitting Billy Butler with more power.  I'm already scared.

8.  Dustin Ackley, OF/1B, Mariners.  The second-pick in last year's draft, Ackley is the rare position player who is returning from Tommy John surgery - thus the move from the OF to 1B.  The Mariners have discussed making him a 2B, which with his combination of hitting for average/hitting for power/plate discipline, would have a very good chance of making him a perennial all-star.

7.  Martin Perez, SP, Rangers.  The last of the Rangers.  I've never even heard of this guy, but I thought I should put him in here since I'm all up on Texas's nuts and everything.

4.  Buster Posey, C, Giants.  That's either the best name I've ever heard, or the worst name I've ever heard.

3.  Carlos Santana, C, Indians.  You got the kinda lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah, give me heart, make it real, or else forget about it.  (obvious, but I bet you laughed anyway.  or smiled at least.  I bet you smiled.  Come on.  It was funnier than Leno.  Admit that much you tough-love son of a bitch).

2.  Stephen Strasburg, SP, Nationals.  Putting Strasburg second reeks of either contrarianism or an overreaction to his mediocre showing in fall ball.  Either way, there's little doubt he's going to be a star.  When your downside is as a #2 starter, you know you've got potential.  Of course, there's always the ballad of Brien Taylor, if you need a reminder of how potential doens't always = success.

1.  Jason Heyward, OF, Braves.  I hadn't heard of this dude before, which embarrasses me somewhat, but he ripped the crap out of AA pitching last year, and had a lot of success in a very short AAA stint to close the year.  Law says he'll be a star, so I guess we should pay some attention here.


There's the list.  There were four notable omissions, or at least there were four names that popped into my head without really thinking about it, so I'll touch on them quickly before I close:

1.  Ben Revere, OF, Twins.  Depending on who you ask, he's either a future star (John Sickels has him #2 in the system), or nothing more than Juan Pierre (Law's concern).  I'm sure you're an idiot who thinks Juan Pierre is good because he's fast and hits right around .300, but that's because you're stupid and I wish I was a GM and you were a GM and then I could trade you Pierre and get way too much for him and you'd feel good about it.

God you're dumb.  Anyway, I've seen his absolute upside is Kenny Lofton, which would be pretty good.  Let's all hope for that, and not run around trying to make out wiht Juan Pierre, ok?

2.  Deolis Guerra, P, Twins.  Sigh.  The last remaining piece of from the trading of Johan.  God I miss him so much.  Instead we have this guy.  He doesn't make Law's top 10 list for the Twins, and he doesn't make Sickels' top 20.  He hasn't posed an ERA under 4.01 in the last three years.  FML.


3.  Tim Alderson, P, Pirates.  Notable because this is who the Giants traded to get Freddy Sanchez.  At one point considered a pretty big-time prospect, it seems Alderson has fallen out of favor, ranking #6 on Law's Pirate list and #5 on Sickels' list - not bad, but not as elite as he once was.  Prospect in free-fall, or underrated?  It's the Pirates, so I'm going to go with the free-fall thing.


4.  Scott Sizemore, 2B, Tigers.  I actually only know of him because when I learned Polanco might be available I started doing some digging into the fan/blog world of the Tigers and found out most fans were just fine with getting rid of Placido because Sizemore (who I assume is related to either Grady or Tom) was waiting in the wings.  He broke his ankle like some kind of girl late in the year last season, but he still ranks #6 on Sickels' list and #5 on Law's of overall Tiger prospects.  Expect to be annoyed by him early and often.

 
So there's your list.  Four Twin prospects can't be bad, especially considering the team is fairly young as is.  The one major criticism I've seen of the Twins' system is that there isn't much there that is ready right now, but it's in decent shape for future years and I have no problem with that.  Of course, if they don't sign Mauer I'll probably just kill myself along with the rest of the state.  They all worship him zombie-like, but I can't fault them because he's really just that good (although most of you cretins worship him for the wrong reasons).  If there is no signing, short of a trade to Texas for Teagarden, Andrus, Smoak, and Perez, I am pretty sure I'm just going give up and move to either New York or Pittsburgh.  At least you know enough to either believe or give up in those states.  I'm sick of these games here.  It's like taking some broad to the drive in, you don't know what you're getting.  I'd rather take the slut or the good-girl, not some middle of road confusing person.  I dont' know if you can tell, but I suspect you can, I've been getting progressively drunker as this post has gone on.  At this point I've already given up and am trying to figure out ways to trade Mauer and Morneau for more prospects.

"Are you guys ready?  We better get going if we're going to stay ahead of the weather."

Twins MLB Draft Review

Last night was the big MLB draft, and even though I know very little about it, I nonetheless feel pretty much just as qualified as most morons who write about sports on mainstream sights, so I'm going to break it down anyway.

- Stephen Strasburg, unreal stud RHP out of San Diego State went first overall to the Nationals in what was apparently a no-brainer. Of course, no brainer pitchers early in the draft are always a guarantee. I mean the last ten first overall picks who were pitchers have been David Price, Luke Hochevar, Brian Bullington, Matt Anderson, Kris Benson, Paul Wilson, Brien Taylor, Ben McDonald, Andy Benes, and Tim Belcher. Not exactly an all-timer list, and Taylor was probably the biggest bust in history - more so even than Ryan Leaf. All the talking head people assure us that he is the real deal and is already all the way polished thanks to his time throwing in college, but I remember hearing the same things about Mark Prior. So everything sounds good, and he was definitely the no-brainer pick at #1 - and could even possibly hit the majors this year, but let's all just settle down and not start handing out Cy Young's just yet.

- The #2 and #3 picks were the only other two people I have heard of in this draft, not counting that one Gopher guy who is good. The Mariners took CF Dustin Ackley out of North Carolina at #2 and the Padres took CF Donavan Tate, a high school kid, with the #3 pick. The only thing I know about these two is that Ackley is that he is pretty much unanimously considered the best pure hitter in the draft but is also coming off of Tommy John surgery and has had to play first base for the Heels because of it. Kind of a big question mark, but if he can hit, I have no doubt a place will be found for him. I know even less about Tate, but he sounds like an incredible athlete who hasn't really learned to hit yet. After watching Gomez for a year and a half, I'd pass on this kid faster than Al Nolen passes on an open jump shot.

- The #4 pick was the Pirates, and they took some kid I've never heard of, a catcher from Boston College the likely made up name Jorge Sanchez, even though I they already have Ryan Doumit, maybe their best player, behind the dish and I had heard they were going to go after some latino shortstop with three names. Whatever. Enough of all these people I haven't heard of and don't care about. On to the Twins.

- Mrs. W just asked if I wanted to get Grey's Anatomy Season One from Netflix. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No.

- The Twins first pick, #22 overall, ended up being RHP Kyle Gibson out of U of Missouri (Arty Johnson U, holla). He's a very interesting pick, and one that LaVelle brought up previously on his blog at the Star Tribune site. According to Mr. Neal, Gibson was ranked as the fourth best prospect in the draft (he neglected to cite his source and I neglected to look one up due to Mr. Vodka), but slipped for two reasons. The first was concerns he would ask for a huge bonus. Knowing the Twins as well as I unfortunately do, I assume they made sure to get this figured out before they drafted him. Second, he's dealing with a stress fracture in his pitching arm - always a positive sign for a pitcher. But apparently the kid is the shit. He hits 94 with his fastball at times, but is more of a sinking fastball type with two other plus pitches in his slider and changeup. If that wasn't enough to convince you he is Twins' material, check out this line from last season: 99 innings, 18 walks (123 strikeouts to boot). Sounds pretty good if the injury checks out. I'm giving this a cautious thumbs up.

- We're watching some weird show about weird religious people with a billion kids right now (well, the Mrs. is, I'm obviously blogging about very important social issues) and this super naive religious guy was talking about taking medicine and he called his wife "The Master of Swallowing." I don't care who you are, that's funny.

- The Twins second pick just came through, their "sandwich pick" for losing Dennis Reyes, which is pretty funny when you think about it - because he's fat, you see. It would probably make me hungry, but I made the World's Greatest Chili^TM tonight so I'm good. What was my point? Oh yeah, with the #46 pick (which seems incredibly generous for getting rid of Reyes) the Twinks took LHP Matthew Bashore out of Indiana U. Seeing as this is a Gopher blog, you'd think I'd be familiar with some of the pitcher's around the Big Ten. Well, you're super wrong. But I CAN tell you what the internet says about him.

Bashore dealt with arm issues in the off-season, being relegated to the bullpen in the Cape Cod League of Summer Catch fame, in what is seemingly a conscious draft theme at this point, but recovered once he got back to the Hoosiers to post five quality starts in his last six outings - I have no idea if that is impressive or not in college. The scouting sounds pretty solid, as Bashore is reported to have four good pitches including a nice splitter and is said to be a very polished college player. So yeah. Go team.

- As we wait for the last Twins pick of the day I think I don't really remember I just remembered the fourth guy I had heard of. His name is Aaron Crow, and he's a pitcher who was actually drafted at #9 last year but didn't sign. He then decided to go play in the independent league for the Fort Worthless Cats which makes me angry all-over again about how much that god forsaken city sucks, but it seems he pitched pretty well for the newest stopover for top prospects, supplanting the Saint Paul Saints (Luke Hochevar and Max Scherzer pitched their previously).

Crow pitched three games, totaling 17 innings with 17 strikeouts and just five walks, while opponents hit just .196 against him resulting in an ERA of 1.06. Pretty solid. What I read had him as the #2 pitcher on the board (after Strasburg), yet he fell all the way #12, the eighth pitcher taken, falling right in Kansas City's lap. With Greinke, Hochevar, and now the potential of Crow, KC is poised to possibly make some noise in a couple of years. Although Hochevar will flame out, Crow will end up as a middle reliever, and Greinke will be a Yankee. Hooray MLB Draft!!!!

- The Magic shot 75% in the first half tonight, and they are up only five at the half. Christ, this garbage is pretty much over.

- Ok, the Twins have taken their next two selections, their last for tonight. They went with another couple of pitchers, this time RHP William Bullock out of Florida and RHP Benjamin Tootle out of Jacksonville State. Tootle has powerful stuff, and although he was a starter in college most scouts see him as a reliever in the pros (is he ready, like, today, by any chance?). He continues a theme of banged up players in the draft for the Twins - he battled some kind of crazy virus (swine flu?) when he was in the Cape League, causing him to slip. Billy Bullock is similar to Tootle, but without the flu problem. He is called the best bullpen guy in the draft from the SEC by Baseball America, and can hit 97 on the radar gun. Given the Twins problems in that area, I am happy with these last two picks.

- Home run #16 for Morneau. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but Mrs. W always refers to Morneau as "big head" and refuses to refer to him as anything else. That's all.

- Delmon with an RBI already tonight and it's only the fifth. That gives him 15 already on the season. And it's still early.

- Kobe missed a layup. Nice job queer.

- Delmon Young's middle name is Damarcus.

- Kobe misses free throws. Nice job queer.

- I got nothin' left. In penance, I offer up this picture of Alyssa Milano in Twins' gear:

If we aren't square after that, I don't know what else to do.