Tuesday Talkers

I know, I know, everybody hates me.  It's been almost two weeks since my last post and I have no excuses.  Sometimes when you don't write you get in the habit of not writing and sometimes that feels good.  But there is an awful lot going on in the sports world, and I have opinions on some of it, so it's time to get back in that saddle and write not very informative, unfunny filler for you to read while you wait for your favorite message board to refresh with new messages.

-  So much NBA going on.  Lebron opts out.  Carmelo opts out.  Love trade speculation.  NBA draft.  It's actually really fun.  I'll try to write this in some kind of coherent narrative, but I make no promises.

To start, I can't believe the Warriors balked at the Love trade because they didn't want to trade Klay Thompson.  I like Thompson, and he's one of the top 2-guards in the league, but a lineup of Curry/Martin/Iguodala/Love/Bogut is a definite contender, more so than what they have now.  On the flip side, I would have been ok with the Wolves getting Thompson as the center piece of a deal.  He's the #2 guy in Golden State, but would have been #1 here and who knows if he would thrive or not, but it's possible.  Plus, assuming Flip is dead set on not bottoming out, a lineup of Rubio/Thompson/Barnes (if they got him too)/Lee/Pekovic could be a playoff team, and you're giving Barnes room to sink or swim rather than be stuck in a logjam at the wing position the Warriors had.  Personally I'd prefer bottoming out and grabbing as many picks as possible, and that's why things are getting more and more interesting.

Lebron opted out of his deal today, and with him and Carmelo both on the market teams are maneuvering like crazy to either clear cap space, build a roster that would look good to either/both of them, or both which means we could see some crazy trades and picks flying around before Thursday's draft.  One good way a team could entice either of them would be to have another Top 10 player on board (or more) and that makes Kevin Love that much more attractive.  Cleveland, or at least the media, seem to think there's a realistic chance Lebron might come home, and they have the pieces to put something together with that first overall pick, Dion Waiters (who by all accounts doesn't get along with Kyrie Irving), and Tristan Thompson.  The Bulls are in the mix as well, offering Tony Snell, Taj Gibson, and the #16 and #19 in the draft.  Plus the Celtics still have one million picks they can throw at the Wolves.  I think I'd prefer the Cavs trade to get the #1, then the Celtics, and then the Bulls.  If they trade with Chicago hopefully they package 2 or 3 of those picks to get closer to the top.

Of course, it all could be for nothing since I think it's mostly likely Lebron and the other two opt out and restructure their deals to reduce the cap number and get at least one more competent player in place.  Most likely that's the plan, but it's curious they didn't announce their opt outs at the same time.  Pay attention, because Dwyane Wade is poised to lose the most money if he opts out, so if he opts in then game on.  Until then I'd assume Lebron's back to the Heat.  Carmelo I'm guessing will be a Bull.

-  Speaking of the NBA draft, let's talk about the NBA draft.  I think your steals are going to be Noah Vonleh (criminally underutilized in college, freak athlete, great post-up game and good perimeter game for his size), Julius Randle (already an NBA ready rebounder with a good enough offensive game that should develop), Adreian Payne (already has the skills to be a stretch 4 and could eventually be an elite defender), Tyler Ennis (might not end up a big time scorer, but should be an excellent point guard for a long time), Cleanthony Early (could step in and start for most teams Day 1), and Jerami Grant (2nd round steal).  Busts look like Dante Exum (top 4 pick?  Please), Aaron Gordon (has absolutely zero skill beyond athleticism), Elfrid Payton (will get abused), Zach LaVine (another athlete light on game skills), Rodney Hood (disappeared way to many times) and Mitch McGary (no clue why anybody would take him first round).

It's hard to say who I'd want the Wolves to end up with since who knows what the roster will look like by time they pick (or after), but I'd go for either of the Michigan State guys at #13.  They could end up with Early and Grant in the 2nd round and that'd make me happy.  Should be a fun draft no matter what goes down.  I might even live blog this bad boy.  That way we have more proof of how stupid I am like when I said Kawhi Leonard would be terrible or when I said Stephen Curry would be terrible or when I said Xavier Henry would be a sleeper or when I said Earl Clark could be a star.

-  Man I enjoy the hell out of the World Cup.  Every four years I completely devour it, convince myself I'm going to become a soccer guy, watch 5 minutes of EPL, and then bail until the next World Cup.  The combination of the best in the World, the nation vs. nation thing, and the gambling make this such a fun time.  This year I also got into a WC pool to make every game more interesting, but I made the mistake of picking Spain to win the whole thing so I'm likely dead.  Sadly, I'm tied for second so far too.  Stupid la roja.  Obviously Brazil and Argentina remain the two big favorites, but I like Belgium to give it a hell of a run.  Don't sleep on Mexico, either, and Colombia's been a buzz saw.

Anyway, I won't pretend to actually know enough about soccer to really analyze that tying goal in the Portugal/USA game, but man, what a gut punch.  I mean, not really because as a Minnesota sports fan I was completely expecting it, but for fans of other sports teams that probably really hurt.  The friends of mine who really know soccer tell me I should be mad at Michael Bradley, so picture me shaking my fist and looking really mad right now.  Maybe swearing a little.

-  I owe one of the longest tenured and consistent readers of this stupid blog an apology - Dawger, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry I doubted Brian Dozier and your opinion of Brian Dozier.   I said he was garbage, you said he was good, and now I am firmly down on the side of good.  You were right, I was wrong.  You're smart, I'm dumb.  You're good looking, I am not attractive.

-  Basketball futures are out for the NCAA Champion, and you may recall that I advised you to take UCONN last year when they were 40-1 and advised taking Louisville two years ago when they were 15-1.  Yeah, I'm good.  This year my first recommendation is a team that offers significant value at 25-1 (I got them at 33-1).  Let's see:

• Significant post season run, albeit not in the NCAA Tournament?  Check.
• Strong regular season results?  Check.
• Nearly every single minute back from last season?  Check.
• Impact freshman coming in with a ranking that suggests he's a program changer?  Check.
• One of the top transfers coming in who will be immediately eligible?  Check.
• Outstanding guard play?  Check.
• Elite level head coach?  Check.

Figure it out?  That's right, the SMU Mustangs.  Take a team that won 27 games, finished third in the conference, beat UCONN twice, made the NIT final and basically has everyone back and add in the nation's top ranked incoming freshman in Emmanuel Mudiay and sharp-shooting transfer wing from Xavier Justin Martin and these team definitely has the pieces.  Plenty of questions such as how Mudiay and incumbent point guard Nic Moore mesh and if they have enough size, but at 25-1 it's a no brainer.

-  Jurassic Park 4:  Jurassic World.  It's real.  God I have such a boner.

-  I'm not going to update Gopher recruiting news or anything because it's still just way too up in the air, but know that there are a lot of balls in motion right now and I think in the last couple of weeks through the next couple weeks the Gophers are getting 5-6 visits (official and unofficial) from guys who I am pretty sure Pitino would take a verbal from immediately if he could get one.  I would really love to snag and early commitment this year.  Like tomorrow.

-  I saw Carlos Gomez was on the cover of Sports Illustrated recently.  Even though it kills me to see him be this good, let me rub a little salt in the womb:

1. Gomez's average of .312 ranks 13th in the majors.
2. Gomez's OBP of .377 ranks 22nd, whilie his SLG of .525 ranks 12th.  
3. That gives him an overall OPS of .902, which ranks 18th.
4. His batting alone gives him 18.2 runs above replacement so far this year, which ranks 14th.
5. He's also fast and a good base runner, which gives him another 1.5, and his defense is superb giving him another 1.7.  After a bunch of other league and position related factors he nets out at 31.7 runs above replacement which translates to 3.4 wins above replacement, which ranks 6th in the majors.
6. Yes, Carlos Gomez has become a tremendous all around player who, according to one metric, is the 6th most valuable in baseball.  
7. After the trade for J.J. Hardy (defensible) and then the trade away of Hardy (completely indefensible) the Twins ended up with half a season of Hardy and 24.2 innings of terrible relief (1.91 WHIP and 5.47 ERA) from Jim Hoey.  Gross.

-  Seriously though, you could make a pretty good team out of ex-Twins - better than usual even:

C - Wilson Ramos (.261/.314/.370)

1B - Justin Morneau (.298/.336/.509 with 12 HRs)

2B - Nick Punto (.230/.331/.294)

3B - Danny Valencia (.236/.291/.333 - ok so this isn't the team's strength)

SS - J.J. Hardy (.294/.321/.373)

OF - Carlos Gomez (.312/.377/.525 with 12 HRs and 11 SBs)

OF - Michael Cuddyer (.317/.366/.500 with 5 HRs)

OF - Torii Hunter (.266/.290/.441 with 9 HRs)

DH - David Ortiz (.255/.354/.478 with 17 HRs)

Ok I'm getting a little tired of looking up all these stats, but your rotation would be Francisco Liriano, Matt Garza, R.A. Dickey, and Kyle Lohse with the fifth starter being Kevin Slowey unless I think of somebody else.  The bullpen would be ok with Joe Nathan as the closer and a whole mess of guys like I know Pat Neshek is kicking ass this year.  Really, I mean, that's a pretty good team. Fill the obvious holes (C, 2b, 3b, fifth starter) with current Twins and make Joe Mauer catch again and you might really have something here.  And it really doesn't matter.

-  I suppose I could live blog this Twins game, but it's already 5-3 in the top of the second which means this things going way past my bedtime.  Adios muchachos.

Week in Review - 7/5/2010

Way too tired from the weekend at the cabin to do a true introduction here, so I'm not going to. And the fishing sucked.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1. Cliff Lee. Cliffy just keeps driving his price up. He's about as white hot as a pitcher can get, throwing 17 innings this week and giving up just four runs while striking out 13 and walking just two. That included a complete game win over the Yankees, which made Lee's third straight complete game and the fourth in a stretch of five games.  His ERA is now down to 2.34, and his strikeout-to-walk ratio is 100-8.  Yes, 100-8.  Frankly, dude is redonkulous and he's peaking right now.  It might be expensive for the Twins to get him, but if they haven't given up on the season yet (and frankly, they might want to consider that) they need to pay whatever Seattle wants, because if Detroit or the White Sox get him, it's over.  Well, more over than it already is.  

2. Carl Crawford.  He ripped up the Twins pretty good, which followed him ripping up the Red Sox pretty good, in a season where he's ripping up pretty much everybody.  And I just love this guy.  He could stand to walk a little bit more, but how can you not love a guy who's going to hit .300 for you with 15 homers, 30 doubles, ten triples, and steal 60 bases at about an 85% clip?  In baseball history, a player has stole at least 50 bases, been caught 10 times or less, and hit 10 home runs in a single season just 19 times - Crawford has done it three times (Rickey also did it three times).  And guess what kids?  He's a free agent after this season.  If they are actually committed to making Cuddy Bear into a third baseman, I say go all the way and put him there full-time next year, sign Crawford, let Thome walk, and move Kubel to full-time DH.  Seriously, Crawford is so good.  Gimme gimme gimme I need I need. 

3. Justin Rose.  Pretty good bounce back for Rose this week at the AT&T National.  Last week, Rose looked like he was going to be the runaway winner at the Travelers after stringing together three good rounds, but a disastrous 75 on Sunday dropped him to ninth.  This week, rather than let that derail what has been a good year, he went out and did it again, racing out to a big lead by Sunday, but avoided the crash and shot a final round 70 in route to a one-shot win over Ryan Moore.  That means his last three tournaments have gone win-should have won-win, and he's absolutely peaking for the British Open in two weeks, a tournament where he generally plays pretty well.  And I was just able to snag him early this week at 33-1 to win.   

4.  Matt LaPorta. You remember LaPorta, right?  He was the big centerpiece in the deal the Brewers made to acquire C.C. Sabathia from the Indians (a deal that, despite the results, should be the blueprint for the Twins to acquire Cliff Lee).  Since then he's kind of puttered around, hitting .254 in 200 ABs last year and .236 so far this year, all while showing the power of Nick Punto - not exactly what was expected of him.  But since the Indians traded Russ Branyan last week and installed him as the full-time first basemen he's shown flashes.  He started the week with a home run in three straight games, bringing his season total to four, and then closed the week with a three-hit game against Oakland.  It might not be much, but he has raised his average from .211 when he was sent down in early June to .236 now, so maybe he's figuring it out.  Or maybe it's a small sample size fluke.

5.  Miguel Olivo.  If you've been paying any attention to Matt Wieters, and I know I have, you know he sucks beyond anything since Mark Salas.  The reason I bring that up, is that Wieters sucked so bad we had to bench him in fantasy, and to replace him in the lineup Snake picked up Olivo - and it's paid off brilliantly.  After thrashing the Padres and Giants this week to the tune of .409/.435/.727, which included a 9-16 stretch, he's now hitting .307 for the year with 11 home runs and 39 RBI.  Notice anything fun about those numbers?  Yep, they're all better than what Joe Mauer is doing.  Just a brilliant move by the Royals letting this dude go and instead tossing a shitload of money at crappy old Jason Kendall instead.  There's a reason Kansas City hasn't been relevant since the early 90s.  Also Miguel Olivo is better than Joe Mauer.  Fact.



WHO SUCKED

1. South America.  Brazil and Argentina were two of the favorites to win the World Cup, and may even have been the top two teams, depending on who you asked.  And with teams like England, France, and Italy already eliminated their paths to the final looked almost preordained.  Unfortunately for them, Germany and the Netherlands had other ideas.  First, the Dutch knocked of Brazil 2-1 thanks to an own goal and an ejection, and then the Germans completely destroyed Argentina 4-0, their third game with four goals in the tournament.  They are looking awfully good right now, and I'd expect the winner of Germany/Spain on Wednesday day ends up taking this thing.  No offense to Uruguay or the Netherlands, but I'd put my money on the Germans.   

2.  Timberwolves.  I'm sorry, but they are seriously confusing the crap out of me.  I don't really know what they were doing with the draft last year, I don't know what they were doing this year, and I don't have any idea what they're doing with their cap room.  Bringing over Pekovic is fine, and it sounds like he's supposed to look pretty good, but signing Darko to a 4-year, $20 million when nobody else was going to offer him four years or $5 per year?  This contract should have been either 4 years/$8 million or 2 years/$6 million.  Such a bizarre decision.  I heard somebody on the radio describe David Kahn as the scariest GM in ball, but not because of his plan or anything, but because he seems to be doing the kind of long-term damage that can ruin a franchise.  I believe it.  I seriously have no idea what he's thinking.

3.  Matt Guerrier. Not a great week for Mr. Guerrier, who allowed at least one run in three of his four appearances this week, including that complete meltdown on Saturday.  His overall numbers are still good (ERA of 2.82, WHIP of 1.12) and he continues to be effective despite mediocre stuff, so let's hope this isn't the start of his annual "tired arm meltdown."  Despite all the times perception doesn't match reality, occasionally they sync up;  Guerriers ERAs for April-September:  3.59, 1.97, 2.75, 3.15, 4.66, 4.27.  He's heading towards a possible third straight year leading the league in appearances, so I'd say the burnout is more likely than not.  Let's hope Neshek and/or Condrey are ready when his arm gets tuckered out so they can just be plugged in.

4.  Dontrelle Willis.  Well you got to figure that's about it for Willis, barring a complete reinvention, after he was designated for assignment by the D-Backs earlier this week - which makes two teams that have given up on him this year (the D-Backs got him from the Tigers for essentially nothing).  He walked 27 batters in 22 innings for Arizona, and has basically been a walk machine since he went crazy bananas back in 2008 when he walked an astonishing 35 batters in 24 innings, which followed a 2007 where he led the league in runs allowed (as in he allowed the most runs, not the fewest).  Hard to believe this is the same guy who burst on the scene and won rookie of the year in 2003 and then put up a gem of a season in 2005 and finished runner-up in the Cy Young voting.  He's only 28, but I'm not betting on a comeback because that's now three full seasons of complete disaster.  I am now resisting putting a "D-Train/Trainwreck) joke.  I'll save those for Jesse Crain.

5.  NBA Free Agency.  I know I already mentioned the Wolves, but overall this has been pretty boring, right?  Nowitzki back to Dallas.  Pierce back to the Celtics.  Gay back to the Grizz.  Joe Johnson gets his max deal (mistake), but it's to go back and be a Hawk again.  Lame.  The only remotely interesting deal so far is Steve Blake to the Lakers, which is a nice deal for everyone involved.  It sounds like Amar'e has either already agreed or is close to agreeing to a deal with the Knicks, and the Suns have clearly moved on, signing both Channing Frye and Hakim Warrick, so maybe this will get things moving.  I'm thinking Wade and Bosh to the Bulls, LeBron to the Knicks and then they swing a deal for a point guard (Tony Parker?).  I don't know what is going to happen to the Wolves, but I'm willing to bet they overpay for David Lee despite the fact that his numbers came on a bad D'Antoni team and as such are inflated two ways, and then, since they have Lee, Love, and Jefferson they'll trade Jefferson for fifty cents.  Great.  Awesome.  Sweet.



Also way too tired for an outro.  If you don't like it you can go to hell.  I have an 8am fart-tastic meeting tomorrow, what do you want from me?

Week in Review - 6/28/2010

You know what's awesome?  Scottie Reynolds. Undrafted.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sweet.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  The World Cup.  I'm not a soccer fan, not really at all, but I really, truly dig the World Cup.  All these countries, battling to be the king of the most popular sport in the world, and the more I watch, the more I understand.  I now know the difference between a good, legal tackle and a foul.  I now know a lot of the strategies involved, including the cross and various versions of the give and go, and I knew enough to know that once Ghana scored it would be very difficult for the U.S. to tie it up, so when they did on Landon Donovan's penalty kick I knew enough to know it was pretty incredible (and on a related note, I also now know why a commenter on this blog who posted a lot about soccer used the handle "L. Cakes.")

Will I continue to be interested in soccer after the World Cup is over?  Almost certainly not.  Will I keep watching even though the U.S. has been eliminated?  You bet.  I'm even at the point where I understand all that passing around the mid-field area.  Seriously, if you can't enjoy the World Cup, you might want to re-evaluate yourself as a sports fan.  And probably as a person, too.

2.  Carl Pavano.  At the time when the rest of the Twins' starters are pitching as if they've gone retarded, creepy mustachioed man Carl Pavano is coming to the rescue, much as Super Mario comes to the rescue of the Princess whether she has been kidnapped by a giant, barrel throwing, mechanically inclined monkey or a giant, fire-breathing, axe-wielding turtle dragon.  A nice little complete game shut-out on Saturday to stop the season death-spiral of doom was just what Dr. Mario ordered, and is the second complete game he's spun in a row.  Pavano actually has shockingly good numbers this year.  His ERA of 3.33 is 16th in the AL, and his WHIP of 1.03 is second behind just future Twin Cliff Lee.  I'll do a more thorough breakdown of why Pavano is so frickin' good and if I think it will continue or is just fluky in a future post, but for now I suspect he either ate a mushroom or some kind of fireball flower.

3.  Edwin Jackson.  It doesn't really matter that he walked 8 guys, and it doesn't matter that it took 149 pitches, a no-hitter is a no-hitter.  And a no-hitter against the Rays is an awfully nice feather to place in one's cap, if one was so inclined.  I've featured Jackson on here before for being awesome, and he's just been out of this world lately.  After running up a record of 3-6 with a 6.03 ERA during the first two months of the season and causing people such as myself to wonder if he was a lost cause.  Well, now in June he's , all topped off by this no-hitter.

Of course, 149 pitches is ridiculous, and now he'll probably get lit up like a Blackburn the next couple of times out.  Then he'll be put on the 15-day DL with "arm soreness" or "dead arm."  He'll come back and get lit up again, and then will be shut down for the year.  Then it will come out that he needs offseason surgery on his arm and he'll miss a full year.  Then when he comes back his fastball will have lost about 5 mph and he won't be an effective starter.  He'll reinvent himself as a mediocre middle reliever and hang on for a couple years before ending up in the Northern League for a couple years.  But hey, at least got the no-hitter.  Sweet.


4.  R.A. Dickey.  What the hell?  I mean seriously, what is going on?  Dickey, after tossing eight shut-out innings on Wednesday against the Tigers, is now 6-0 with an ERA of 2.33 and a WHIP of 1.29 since joining the Mets rotation in mid-May.  Carlos Silva is 8-0 for the Cubs with an ERA of 3.01 and a WHIP of 1.05.  Livan Hernandez is 6-4 with an ERA of 3.10 and a WHIP of 1.28.  What do these three have in common, other than their ex-Twinness?  Well, for one, they are all three putting up better numbers that Matt Garza so far (8-5, 4.10, 1.31), the only ex-Twin starter I thought I would miss.  For two, they'd make a better 3-4-5 than Baker, Slowey, and Blackburn right now, and it's not even close.  I still believe these guys are going to regress, and regress hard, but I've been believing that for two months.  For now, I'll just say this is a bunch of crap, but it doesn't change the fact that Baker/Slowey/Blackburn suck.  We need some kind of nickname for these dickfors.  Like, the Sucktastic Three or something.   


5.  White Sox.  I know I mentioned them in this space last week, but the run continues and they are suddenly just X.X games out of first place.  Last week you could chalk up to a scheduling fluke since they swept the Pirates and Nationals, but this week included a sweep over the Braves, and that's no joke.  A joke would be "A woman goes to check out at the Super Market, and puts a carton of eggs, a package of bacon, a gallon of milk, and some butter on the conveyor.  The checkout guy looks at her groceries, looks at her, and says with conviction, 'You're definitely single.'  She looks at the guy and says, 'Wow, you could tell that just from four items I bought at the grocery store?'  He replies, "No, it's because you're f*cking ugly."

Anyway the Sox pitching is suddenly really awesome (particularly Peavy) and they're probably going to win the division after they end up trading for Prince Fielder.


WHO SUCKED

1.  Twins.  Really no other way to say it, these guys sucked balls this week.  A 1-5 road trip against a couple of middling National League teams?  Ugh.  And with the Tigers still playing well and the Sox nearly as hot as Alice Eve, we've got yet another three team barn burner in the central.  I really wish you could point to just one issue, but suddenly it's everything.  The pitching is completely mediocre, but giving up an average of 5.5 runs per game should lead to more than one win if you have a good offense - but suddenly they don't, scoring an average of just 2.5 runs per game themselves.

Getting shutdown by Yovani Gallardo is one thing - it sucks, but it's acceptable - and I guess Pelphrey has somehow become decent, but Manny Parra?  Jon frickin' Niese?  Special shout-out to Cuddy Bear for hitting .167 this week with no power and 3x as many strikeouts as hits.  Although to be fair, that might not be Cuddy's fault, since there was apparently a mandate that came down from high against hitting with any kind of power, since nobody bothered to this week unless they were going against Johan.  Apparently unless Carl Pavano comes to the rescue (see above comparison), this team is screwed.  Might as well not even bother trading for Lee.  Just becoming sellers and pick up some prospects.    

2. Timberwolves. Seriously, what the hell? The more I think about this draft the more upset I get. Wes Johnson is fine and was the obvious and necessary pick at #4, but after that they end up with another wing who has been in the league for five years and proved himself to be pretty mediocre, an undersized power forward, and two Euros? Euros never work out, everybody knows this. The success rate is like 4%. How would this have sounded instead: Johnson, James Anderson, Jordan Crawford, Soloman Alabi, and Derrick Caracter? Or Johnson, Anderson, Hassan Whiteside, Terrico White, and Gani Lawal? Either of those scenarios could have happened last night, with the trade of pick #23 or not. Instead they got the ball rolling with the insane trade of Luke Babbitt and Ryan Gomes for Martell Webster, and just kept doing baffling things all night. Gomes' contract is a valuable asset because it isn't guaranteed, why thrown him in on a deal that's probably already slanted against you? Why I expected anything more, I have no idea.

3.  Tommy Hanson.  There are bad games, and then there are epic bad games (hi Nick Blackburn).  Hanson's outing on Tuesday was essentially the quintessential definition of "getting the shit ripped out of him."  Three and two-thirds innings pitched, 13 hits allowed, 9 runs allowed.  13 hits.  An average of more than three per inning.  Nick Blackburn's worst outing was nowhere near this bad.  "But wait!", you say, "Blackburn had back-to-back crappy outings, surely he is worse than Hanson."  Not so fast my uninformed friends.  Hanson pitched again on Sunday, and again lasted just three and two-thirds innings, this time surrendering six runs on eight hits.  An improvement.  At this rate he might last past the fifth inning by sometime in August.  It's a deadheat betwixt him and Blackburn for the Livan Hernandez award for worst starter who keeps getting the ball (a fluky Livan year does not change the name of the award.)   

4.  Italy (and France).  Defending champions?  Ousted.  Dirty frenchies?  Heading home in complete disarray.  No, I'm not an expert or even a novice when it comes to soccer analysis so I can't and won't really try to break down any of this, but these teams were both expected to, at the very least, advance to the knockout stage.  But they didn't, with France losing to both South Africa and Mexico and Italy losing to Slovakia and tying Paraguay (ok) and New Zealand (mind-boggling) to finish last in their group.  Seeing how soccer is the #1 sport over there, and the World Cup is the by far biggest event, I'm guessing there are a lot of wine drinkers not very happy right now.  Seriously, in Italy they have taps for wine right next to the beer taps.  Crazy.

[UPDATE:  I'm going to go ahead and throw England in here too, since I'm watching them get destroyed by Germany in the first knockout round.  Good god, they play defense like the Golden State Warriors.]

5.  A.J. Burnett.  At this point we almost have to assume he's actively trying to sabotage the Yankees, right?  In his two starts this week, Burnett lasted just seven combined innings, giving up 15 hits and 13 earned runs with an 8-to-9 walk-to-strikeout ratio.  And he certainly didn't waste any time setting the tone for the week, giving up three home runs in the first inning of his first start (against Arizona).  He's striking out about a third less batters this year than in previous years, giving up about 25% more home runs, and allowing batters to hit about .030 higher.  Oh, and he's lost a full mile per hour off his fastball, and it's by far his worst pitch, but since he's lost confidence in his curve for some reason he's throwing it far more often.  Which would explain why he continues to get hammered.  That's four out of five starts where he's given up at least six runs, three straight where he's pitched four innings or less, and a season ERA of 5.25, which ranks 51st out of 56 pitchers in the A.L. who qualify (Nick Blackburn is last), and a WHIP of 1.54, which is 49th.  Oh, and he's still owed $66 million over the next four seasons.  And THAT my friends, is really a joke.   


Lastly, I need to make a very, very strong movie review and I'm telling you to go rent She's Out of My League.  Funny throughout with several laugh out loud moments ("I'm sorry, are you a plane doctor?") and really hilarious scenes (bowling), to go along with a super hot chick.  Very strongly recommended.  The anti-Scottie Reynolds of movies, if you will.

Plus, this:

Week in Review - 6/21/2010

Man, I am full.  Full, full, full.  I just finished up the most awesome steak ever.  I actually cooked it on the grill, and I can generally cook a steak well but I've never quite nailed one the way I just did.  Toss in my newly discovered steak rub - which makes Paul Prudhomme look like an amateur - and that was just the perfect way to wrap up a father's day that included a viewing of Toy Story 3, which was pretty good.  You're the best ever, Wonderbaby^TM.

And thanks for everything, dad.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Scott Baker.   This guy is maddening, isn't he?  He always looks incredibly stressed on the mound and looks like he's going to cry if he gives up a run, and at times is wound up so tight he can't put the ball anywhere near where he wants to and gets destroyed and is extremely proficient in allowing home runs.  Then, just when you think he's no better than an end of the rotation type, he busts off a game like Wednesday against Colorado when he allowed just 2 hits and struck out 12 over 7 innings, and was basically unhittably brilliant.  He does this just enough to tease.  A 3-hitter in 8 against Baltimore earlier this year.  The two near no-hitters.  Multiple games with more strikeouts than innings or 7 ips or better and 3 or less hits.  When he's good, he's very good.  Unfortunately he's about as consistent as Ron Artest's jumper.

2.  Ron Artest.  Speaking of Ron-Ron, you got to hand it to the guy, he got his title and game up huge in the biggest game of his career.  He scored 20 (against a season average of 11), pulled down 5 boards, and grabbed 5 steals all while playing excellent defense on Paul Pierce who was just 5-15 in Game 7 and shot just 38% for the finals in Staples.  Artest also hit the biggest shot of the game, and thus the series, with his 3-pointer with just a minute left in the game.  Celtics were down by three, and with the shot clock winding down he let go with a heave despite being fairly well covered.  It was the exact shot the Celtics would have wanted to see the Lakers take in that situation, it just happened to go in and now Artest is a hero.  He's clearly insane, although I blame Stephen Jackson more for that brawl than Artest, but is there anything more entertaining than an insane person who is also deliriously happy?  I think his post-game interview answered that question. 

3.  Wimpy, limp-wristed, slap-hitting Twins.  Specifically, Matt Tolbert, Nick Punto, and Drew Butera.  All three of those little wiener kids hit a home run this week.  And Tolbert also kicked in two doubles and a triple this week.  Punto overall hit .450 this week and had four multi-hit games.  And even Butera hit .667 and is now the proud owner of a 2-game hitting streak.  Those five total bases he had this week?  Just one shy of his season total previously.   I suppose getting production from anywhere is a good thing, even if it means Gardy is going to feel validated going with these clowns as often as he does, and assuring that we are going to be in for a lifetime supply of Matt Tolbert and Matt Tolbert clones as long as Billy Smith and Gardenhire are in charge.  Oh joy.

4.  Josh Johnson.  You know, in all the Ubaldo hoo-ha, we seem to be missing out on the fact that Mr. Johnson is having a pretty damn good season for the Marlins.  This week he pitched twice, going 7 innings on Tuesday, allowing just four hits and one run and striking out seven, and then following that up on Sunday by going 8 innings, allowing six hits and again one run and striking out nine.  Those two starts drop his ERA to 1.80 with a WHIP of just 0.98.  In exactly 100 innings he's struck out 98 while giving away just 26 walks and allowing only 72 hits.  In short, he's having an insane, incredible, out of this world season.  So try to remember that as Ubaldo marches toward 30 victories with an ERA under 1.00.    

5.  Chicago White Sox.  I still hate them, and always will, but it's time to recognize that the Sox are playing pretty good ball.  Yeah, I know their six game winning streak has come against the Pirates and the Nationals so it's not like they're playing world beaters, but the week prior including winning 2 of 3 against the Tigers, and they've cut the Twins lead over them to 5.5 games and are within four of the Tigers - close enough that it's maybe time to take notice.  Their hitting is still pretty poor, but the pitching is starting to come around, with Danks and Peavy each pitching a gem and Gavin Floyd tossing two, and Freddy Garcia and Buehrle having a couple of nice outings as well.  I'm not worried, because any team with Bobby Jenks as a closer isn't scary, but we might need to start paying some attention here.


WHO SUCKED

1.  Nick Blackburn.  Yuck.  One and 2/3rds innings and 8 runs allowed?  I praised Baker earlier for hitting one of the good squares on the wheel of random, and it seems Blackie hit the big double-zero.  And that's why I really hope they trade for Cliff Lee, even if it includes trading Wilson Ramos.  Baker, Blackburn, Pavano, and Slowey are all way too random and way too inconsistent.  All of those guys have games where they get destroyed too often.  Liriano is the only Twins pitcher who when he takes the mound you know you have a chance to win every time.  Those other guys have too many games where they get destroyed early and the game is basically over.  Blackburn just gave up 8 earned runs.  Cliff Lee (since becoming good in 2008) has never allowed 8 earned runs in a game.  He also pitched less than 4 innings in a game just three times in three years.  Blackburn has done in it three of his last four games.  Lee also has failed to pitch at least seven innings just once this year.

The current four are fine and they'll win some games and probably get you to the playoffs, but if the Twins want to make any kind of a run they need another top-shelf arm.  Go get Cliff Lee, Mr. Smith.  Just do it.

[UPDATE:  Funny story.  I wrote the above on Saturday morning.  Not more like five hours later, Kevin Slowey helps hammer my point home by not getting out of the second inning, going just one and 2/3rds innings and giving up 7 runs.  Which is less than Blackburn, so I guess that's an improvement.  Please Billy.  Go get Cliffy.]

2.  Europe.  A lot of people think Europe is full of smelly, non-showering drunks with bad teeth, but that's not what I'm referring to here.  I actually enjoyed the hell out of Europe the one time we visited, so I have nothing but love for those weirdos.  But I have to admit that they suck at soccer.  And I'm talking about all of Europe, I'm talking about the big boys who were supposed to be title contenders and are now going to have to struggle to make it out of group play; specifically Germany, France, Spain, Italy, and England.

England tied with both the U.S. and Algeria.  France tied Uruguay and got rolled by Mexico 2-0 and is almost certainly out of the playoffs or whatever they call the tournament part.  Germany destroyed Australia 4-0 in their opener and was looking like a possible juggernaut, but then got beat by Serbia, and Spain, who was maybe the strongest European team, lost their opener to a bunch of mincing nancies from Switzerland.  Italy might have had the biggest mismatch of the pool round, going against a pretty crappy New Zealand squad, but even they couldn't pick up a win, playing the Kiwis to a draw at 1-1.  Even though the continent has some nice surprise teams like the Netherlands and Slovenia, it is an ugly, ugly Cup so far for the Euros.  Probably a good time to invade.  Pay attention Obama.   

3.  Manny Corpas.  Corpas, the Rockies' current closer, had himself a pretty awesome weekend.  He had been pretty solid, saving nine of his last ten opportunities, and not being over remotely shaky in those chances, giving up no runs and more than one hit just once.  The this weekend happened.  First, on Saturday, he came in to save a game against the Brewers only two give up two singles and then a game-tying home run to the suddenly superstar Corey Hart.  Then, on Sunday, he had a chance to redeem himself, coming in again in the ninth, this time in a 1-1 tie against the Brew Crew.  Just to mix it up a bit, he didn't even bother getting an out, giving up three doubles (amongst other things) on his way to allowing five runs and turning a tie game into a 6-1 loss.  For christ's sake, Trevor Hoffman got people out in that game.  Trevor.  Hoffman.

4.  Baltimore Orioles.  God they're just so bad.  They're now 19-50 (19-50!!!!!), and there aren't really any signs of getting better.  Their two young pitchers of the future, Chris Tillman and Jake Arrieta went with their Blackburn/Slowey impersonation this weekend against the offensive juggernaut that is the Padres, with neither of them getting to the fourth, and Tillman's ERA is now over 8 and he's been shuttled off to the bullpen - a great, great way to help build the confidence of one your building blocks.  And speaking of building blocks, two of the supposed biggest - Matt Wieters and Adam Jones - have been absolutely terrible this year.  I don't know if it's still true, but I read somewhere earlier in the week that there are three teams in the NL whose pitchers have a collective slugging percentage greater than the Orioles' first basemen.  Yuck.  No matter what they try to do, it seems they'll never turn this thing around and get better.  The curse of Jeffrey Maier lives on. 

5.  Dustin Johnson.  It's not often you see someone totally dominate and then completely and completely fall apart all in one weekend.  He raced out at Pebble, shooting 71-70 in the first two rounds, and then had a monster 66 on Saturday to set himself up with a three shot lead over Graeme McDowell and a five shot lead over Tiger, who was alone in third place.  Since he had won the previous two tournaments held at Pebble Beach, it was looking like a possible runaway situation.  He then came out on Sunday and threw up all over the place  He triple-bogeyed the second, double-bogeyed the third, and bogeyed the fourth.  He ended up with five more bogeys on the day (and zero birdies) to finish up with a +11 round of 82.  Nightmare.  The fall from the first three rounds to the final round would be just like the Ohio State football program turning into the Gophers.  Yeah, it was seriously that bad.


And I want to give a special shout-out to Hunter Mahan.  Thanks for making me look like an ass, jerkface.  That's two majors this year, two guys I was absolutely convinced were going to win, and two guys who missed the cut, and not only missed it, but were basically already so far out of it after one day that they would have had to pull out a miraculous second round just to stay alive for the weekend.  Obviously, neither of them did.  You can now consider Mahan on my list along with Furyk.  Betrayers!  The both of them!  J'Accuse!

Tom Izzo Won't Go Away

It seems Tom Izzo will be staying with the Spartans in what seemed obvious from the beginning but had just enough legs to make me hope he'd leave the conference.  Seriously, who would want to go to Cleveland to coach, even with LeBron?  And without him that team is probably worse than the Timberwolves.  I have a feeling ole Tommy wasn't ever too serious about this, and was just wondering why, after 5 final four appearances in 10 years, he doesn't get the ole ass-kiss treatment from the media dickholes like Coach K and Roy Williams enjoy.  When the Cavs came a-calling and started stroking Tommy a little bit, I think he probably enjoyed it quite a bit, but when it came time to get down to it he realized what a good thing he has going in East Lansing, and he made the right call.  Plus, Cleveland.  Oof.

And that's just the latest in a number of possible Big Ten Basketball weakening moves that would have helped the Gophers that went the wrong way.  If Izzo left, Delvon Roe had said he'd transfer.  Obviously he is now staying.  JaJuan Johnson and E'Twaun Moore put their names into the NBA draft.  Far, far, far worse players with less chance of being drafted have stayed in the draft in the past, but these two made the right decision and backed out.  Talor Battle and Demetri McCamey could have stayed in and maybe gotten picked in the second (plenty of players have stayed in hoping for the second round selection) but both made teh right call and came out.  Two Ohio State players (William Buford and David Lighty) are exactly the type the NBA loves - neither even entered their name for consideration.  Iowa easily could have justified giving Lickliter another year or so, essentially guaranteeing further years of suck.  I mean, McCaffrey will probably suck too, but Lickliter was a guarantee, and I'm not so sure the Hawkeyes aren't better off without those transfers (especially booze-hound Tucker).

So yeah, the conference is going to be an absolute monster this year.  Purdue and Michigan State are National Championship contenders and Ohio State isn't far behind.  Illinois is pretty loaded, and Northwestern is looking feistier than ever.  Wisconsin is always a pain in the ass, and Indiana's excellent class from last year will have another year of experience.  Plus Talor Battle is back and you know he's going to win a couple of games all by himself, you just hope they aren't against the Gophers.

Tubby's got his work cut out for him.



Other random thoughts while watching the Twins game and the NBA game.

-  Wow.  Todd Helton just hit that ball a mile.  I hear all this talk about him being washed up, and I'm not sure I see it.  Guy is a legend.  He should probably be able to set his own ground rules at this point.  I hope Colorado fans appreciate what they have there.  He's just a gritty, gutty gamer who gets it done.

-  Uh oh, looks like Lamar Odom decided to show up tonight.

-   Do you want to know what sucked?  Avatar.  We rented it this weekend on Blu-ray to watch on my fancy new Blu-ray player, and I'll admit the visuals were not overrated.  It was truly some of the most stunning scenery and visual scenes I've ever seen in a movie.  Of course, after an hour of that you start getting sick of watching cartoon/computer graphics, realize this story is going no where, and then cry silently to yourself as you realize you have two hours left.

Really though.  I've heard so much about this movie, I was tricked into thinking it must have a good, or at least coherent, plot.  I didn't count on the fact that if you give most people pretty pictures you don't have to include any kind of fancy "character development", "plot", or "common sense" because your average movie goer is the same kind of slack-jawed yokel who enjoys Olive Garden, Nickelback, Old Country Buffet, High School football, Overalls, Remember the Titans, Garth Brooks, giving their kid a mohawk, David Eckstein, hockey, garage sales, the blue collar comedy tour, church, college football, Teri Hatcher, Marlboro Reds, Everybody Loves Raymond re-runs, brandy, unions, Michael Cuddyer, Wheel of Fortune, State Fairs, the Terminator movies, pick-up trucks, Mama Dawger, Barbecue, Circus Circus, Dean Koontz, wrestling, the Winter Olympics, Josh Hartnett, the Vikings, the sacrifice bunt, naming their kid Tyler, Rob Schneider, showing a little hustle, Disney World, Domino's Pizza, Leann Chinn, and pointing out the difference between Nascar and whatever other kind of car racing there is because when I say "Nascar sucks" I really mean car racing in general and I don't care nor do I need you to explain that open-wheel racing or whatever it's called is better.  No, it's not.  It's still driving a car in a circle.  It's stupid.

Sorry.

Anyway, the plot sucked, I had no reason to care about any of the characters, not even Smurfette, and just when things seem like they're going to make sense and the "good guys" (who are really just blue hippies) are going to get destroyed, perhaps the biggest Deus Ex Machina since The Stand (or Jurassic Park, if you prefer) except this one makes even less sense.  Remember how Snow White could get the birds and the squirrels to do her bidding?  It's like that, but this isn't supposed to be for kids.

And, and I'm sorry here I'm rambling, there's this part where they make this huge deal about the guy from Clash of the Titans who plugs himself into his World of Warcraft machine so he can hump the bloofer lady has to subdue some dragon/bird thing and now there's this unbreakable bond and crap.  Then for the climax, he just goes and gets a different horsedragonbird anyway.  So dumb.

Rent it on Blu-ray, watch it for an hour, and then turn it off.  That's all you need.

-  Fun fact:  Joe Mauer signed a contract for $184 million.  Those numbers add up to 13.  Also adding up to 13?  4-6-3.  Believe it.

-  The basketball game just went to commercial (it's a Laker romp thus far) and they said, "Avatar on Blu Ray!  Own it today!"  Don't you dare, people.  Don't you dare.  If you do it I forbid you from reading this blog.  I would rather watch Slovenia/Serbia on a continuous loop.  I want you to notice how those teams haven't played, but they are two of the biggest slow-it-down defensive teams who would bore you to tears.  Shows I'm paying attention.

-  Shannon Brown can still jump.

-  I'm not convinced that if the Lakers win this Kobe should win MVP over Gasol.

-  Rajon Rondo is 4-16 on free throws in this series.  I don't know if I've ever heard anything quite so ridiculous.

-  US Open winner call:  Hunter Mahan.  Grandslam's rebuttal:  Dustin Johnson.

-  Well this is ugly.

-  Delmon 3-4 tonight.  Delmon rising?  Delmon rising.

-   Tiffani Thiessen gave birth to a baby girl tonight.  No word on if it's mine. (NOTE:  it probably is)

-  Lakers up 27.  I say again:  Lakers up 27.  I see no reason to continue here.  And the announcer just said "tooken" as in "the Celtics haven't tooken many free throws."  I wish I knew who this guy was.  I can't decide if he's awesome or I hate him.  It's like being married.