Game Preview: Gophers vs. Northwestern

When do everything super man Drew Crawford went down with a season ending injury that pretty much ended Northwestern's NCAA Tournament bid hopes (but hey, they did win a bowl game for the first time since the 40s), and knocked them down from the Wisconsin/Iowa possible bubble team tier to the tier below with Purdue.  So by rights, with this being a home game and all, this should be a pretty easy victory for Minnesota.  But, for whatever reason, Northwestern never seems to be an easy game, even if the Gophers have won four of the last five and won both comfortably last season.

The Wildcats do have two good wins on their schedule already, having won at Baylor and beating Illinois State in overtime (yes, Illinois State is a good win), and two of the three losses are explainable (vs. Maryland - although they got crushed, and vs. Stanford sans Crawford), but they have a dreadful loss to Illinois-Chicago and it's just hard to believe they can do much damage in conference play without Crawford, which isn't to say they haven't had some players step up already in the post-Shurna era.

It starts with Reggie Hearn, who actually leads the team in scoring at 14.5 per game (compared to Crawford's 13.5) and who has averaged 16.5 in the two games he's played since Drew went down.  Of course, Hearn also missed the team's last game against Brown (NERDS!) with an ankle injury and I can't find any info on how severe it is (but to be honest I went to Sippin' on Purple and that was about it).  If Hearn does play, you'll see a very efficient scorer who gets points without taking a ton of shots due to hitting a high percentage of both his 2s (59%) and 3s (43%).  He also averages an impressive 5.5 rebs per game for a 6-4 shooting guard, which is a nice bonus.

The two guys who will probably have to have huge games (along with Hearn) in order for the Wildcats to make a game of this are the seven-footer Alex Olah and his 6-8 PF companion Jared Swopshire, who potentially have the size to overwhelm Rodney Williams and Trevor Mbakwe down low.  They combine for 16 points and 11 rebounds per game, and Swopshire is particularly scary.  He was a four-star recruit out of high school who signed with Louisville and was good enough to hit double figures in scoring twelve times his sophomore, but missed the next season with an injury and was unable to get back into Louisville's rotation, so he packed up his bags and moved to Evanston.  He's shown some of that old ability and explosiveness, but mostly has just been ok because he appears to have forgotten how to shoot.  He's the most likely guy on the roster to replace Crawford's all-around production, so let's hope he doesn't start putting it altogether right away this weekend.  AS for Olah, he's ginormous (7-0, 275 lbs.) and given the Gophers propensity to allow offensive rebounds and their relatively under-sizedness he could be a massive pain.  Northwestern could also bring in Chier Ajou who is 7-2 but I feel rather confident in guessing he's a bit of a project.  Sadly, Luka Mirkovich is gone.

Lastly, how could we possibly talk about Northwestern without talk about little wiener nerds who love shooting threes?  There's Dave Sobolewski (aka The Lesbian) who is the starting point guard and who is somehow an effective player.  Then there's Alex Marcotullio (aka The Lefty) who is the scariest one because he seems to be the streakiest and could just go off and hit 10 threes or something.  And lastly freshman Kale Abrahamson (aka Shurna's little brother right down to the goofy looking jumper) who is 6-7 but is as scared of the lane as Rick Rickert used to be.  Any one of these guys could go off and help keep the game close, or multiple ones of them could and really give the Gophers a scare.  It's also worth noting that guard Tre Demps comes off the bench and absolutely loves shooting.  As with all chuckers, there's a threat of "HE'S ON FIRE" but probably not.

Realistically the Gophers, having solved the zone last year after ten freaking years of looking lost, should wipe the floor with Northwestern.  The Gophers biggest weakness is giving up offensive rebounds, and the Wildcats don't hit the o-boards very well.  The Gophers are awesome at blocking shots, and Northwestern gets a ton of shots blocked.  Basically the Gophers are much more athletic (as usual) and much more skilled (a new one).  Northwestern will have to have three things go their way to win this game:

1.  Gophers struggle against the zone.  This would have been a bigger concern a couple of years ago, but over the past two seasons they're starting to get it.  Plus Hollins and Hollins are both really smart players, smart enough to cancel out the boneheadedness of Joe Coleman (I like him as a player, but he's no Hollinses).  The team has struggled with turnovers this year so this could always go backwards, but as long as they are getting good shots the turnovers can be negated.

2.  Get hot from 3.  This one is very possible, with Northwestern hitting a good percentage this year (38.4% - 35th in the country), shooting a lot of them (40% of all attempts are from 3 - Gophers are at 27%) and have a whole mess of guys who like to chuck them up (7 Wildcats have at least 22 attempts on the year compared to only 3 Gophers).  Northwestern gets nearly 37% of their points from 3-pointers this year, one of the highest percentages in the country.  The Gophers are good but not great defending the three - if one or more of their chuckers gets hot it could be trouble.

3.  Northwestern, on paper, has the size advantage against Mbakwe and Williams.  Of course, Minnesota's pair averages 13.6 rebounds per game vs. Northwestern's pair's 10.5, 2.7 blocks to 1.6, 2.0 steals to 1.1, shoot 57% from the field compared to 44%, have shot 120 free throws compared to 61, and are a pair of seniors compared to a freshman and a first year transfer.  Other than that though, it's pretty close.  I think I'm going to put that in a table form.  Wait for it:

BAM!

Here's how I see this going - Northwestern comes out in a man-to-man, but also hits a few three-pointers so it starts out around 10-10 or so, then the Gophers start to get it going and jump out to like a 22-12 lead.  Northwestern goes to their zone which they always seem to try to save to screw with everyone's head, but this year's Gophers have no problem with it, open up a 40-24 halftime lead and cruise to a 78-59 win.  Book it, nerds.

[NOTE:  After I wrote this I realized Northwestern played Michigan tonight.  I made sure to watch a good chunk of the game, and without Crawford or Hearn their offense seemed to consist of either a failed drive to the hoop or someone chucking a three.  Their inept offense would be the most notable thing about the game if it wasn't for their catastrophic failure on the defensive end.  Nobody could stay in front of Michigan's guards and they were backed up by nobody protecting the rim or rotating to cover the shooters so basically the Wolverines could pick and choose how they wanted to score, and that was only when they had to actually set up an offense because Northwestern for some reason was completely opposed to the idea of getting back on defense and I think Michigan scored 80 points in transition.  Some of it could be that Michigan is just that good, but the Wildcats looked brutally bad.  The Gophers could win by 40. Also Dave Sobolewski still looks like a lesbian.]

Preview: Gophers vs. Northwestern

First, drop whatever you're doing unless you're holding a baby or working with plutonium (1.21 JIGGAWATTS!!! - side note:  I bet that's Jay-Z's favorite unit of measurement) and go here to read four awesome Gopher fans be realists.  Matt from Fringe Bowl Team, FrothyGopher aka G'Swan from Still Got Hope (ha ha suck it TRE), and myself were invited by the From the Barn dudes to have a virtual roundtable type discussion about the Gopher hoop team.  The results were predictably cynical, yet moody.  Also predictable?  It was more entertaining than anything I've ever written, so stop being such a douchebaby and go read it.

Now, onto the business on the table, and that's Sunday's game against Northwestern, and as depressing as it is to talk about this only 7 games into the Big Ten schedule, this is a must win game.  Yes, it's a must win game.  Of course, since Northwestern has followed the Gophers' plan of not beating, nor scheduling games against, any quality opponents and then starting the B10 season at 2-4, it's close to a must win game for the Wildcats as well (although in their defense the Iowa and Purdue losses by the Gophers are far worse than anything Northwestern has done so far).  Since these two teams desperately need this one, you can expect an intense, well-played game with crisp execution and a maximum effort and focus on every possession.

I'm just kidding.  These two programs are the most likely in the conference to play like dickheads in a big game and are equally likely to rise up and crush some poor fools (Minny over Indy, NW over Mich State) so basically anything could happen in this game and it wouldn't surprise me.  But what could we see?  Let's look.  Join me on a magical adventure.  Levar Burton is here too.

The first thing I have to tell you is I really don't know much about the Wildcats this year.  Every time I sit down to watch one of their games it's at their place where that weird ass purple court (where the entire area betwixt the paint and 3-pt line is this weird purple but not quite a solid purple) eye rapes me and I can't really look at if for more than a few minutes at a time.  So I'm only going to discuss three players who I know quite well and ignore guys like Dave Sobolewski and David Curletti and Alex Marcotullio because I have no idea who they are, even though Sobolewski spent a week on my fantasy squad.

First up are Drew Crawford and John Shurna, and honestly they're like, the only two who actually matter because they score over half Northwestern's points and are top 3 in everything else.  They can both do basically anything and everything.  Crawford does it in a smooth, suave, athletic way and is kind of a poor man's Ray Allen without an immortal jumper and Shurna does it in the nerdiest way ever that is reminiscent of the weird kid who was always at the park shooting at those chain nets and double rims with his rubber ball who never had an ounce of teaching but still managed to be pretty decent.  There's no reason the Gophers shouldn't be able to shut down Shurna but let's be honest you could say that about every game he's played this year.  the guy is just a nerdtastic machine who makes Kevin Coble look like Brad Pitt.  But he gets it done.  And Crawford is a straight up stud.

Normally if there's a team who relies on two dudes this much I'd say just do everything you possibly can to stop those two but I assume Northwestern has a shit ton of white dudes who can shoot based on some of those names and since the Gophers have little to no idea how to defend the three-pointer that would probably be a bad idea.  Also Northwestern has that zone which sometimes gives the gophers fits and I'd totally go into it but there's something I really want to talk about and I can't think about anything else so let's just go:  Luka vs. Ralph.

Luka Mirkovich is the least mobile person I've ever seen.  His defense is very similar to this lamp I'm sitting next to.  His best offensive move is somehow using his fat slowness to trick the guy guarding him into thinking he's not actually moving and then suddenly make a lay-up.  If he and Stephen Hawking had a good ole fashioned athletic face-off the line would be Luka -120.  If Ralph and Luka played one-on-one there is no good reason Ralph shouldn't win 11-1.  And yet.

This what I want to see and it's my own fault for caring about Ralph so much when I've metaphorically fallen down the stairs so many times because of him, and yet I'm back for more like whatever Charlie Sheen's wife's name was.  Please Ralph.  I shouldn't even give you another chance but this is it.  Line drawn in the sand.  Must win game.  At home.  Crowd wants to get behind you.  Going up against a tree with glasses.   Please Ralph.  Give it to me.  Give it to me how I like it.  Stop being such an asshole.  This is your time. 

Also I have no idea why I wrote that Levar Burton thing earlier.  I'm not sure that made much sense.  But really, not much about this post made sense.  I'm very tired and you're annoying me.

Gophers 66, Wildcats 65.

Big Ten Preview - #8 NORTHWESTERN WILDCATS

Northwestern's outlook actually is pretty rosy this year:  John Shurna is back to look like a total spaz nerd and do a little bit of everything, Drew Crawford now has two years under his belt and should just continue to get better, Luka Mrkovich will once again be the middle moving very little, JerShon Cobb should be a breakout candidate, and most of the little bit parts are here once again as well.

Two problems.

The first being that the major piece that is gone from last season is Michael Thompson who I refuse to call juice, the guy who piloted this team for the last four years - including two of the best in the program's history - and left as the all-time leader in assists for the Wildcats.  That's not easy to replace and I don't know who is going to do it.  Actually I don't think Northwestern knows yet.  Alex Marcotullio is probably first in line, but let's be honest if he wins the job there's no chance this team makes the NCAA Tournament.  If Drew Crawford or JerShon Cobb can't transition from off the ball player to ball-handler the Wildcats will have to hope one of their promising newcomers - guards Tre Demps and David Sobolewski - are good enough to step in right away.  Both are described as combo guards which normally I'd make fun of because there's not a real PG on the roster but the Gophers are basically doing the same thing so who am I to judge?

The second problem is that, even if they work the PG spot out perfectly, I've already fallen for this.  I was convinced last year everything had come together for Northwestern to finally, mercifully, grab that first ever NCAA Tournament bid.  And how I was I rewarded for my faith?  Just like Snape was rewarded by Voldemort - a painful death.  So no, I refuse to buy in.  There's no reason to think they'll be better than last season, last season was supposed to be their perfect storm, and they sucked last season.  Boom.  The end.

DWG Over/Under Conference Wins:  7.5

Game Recap: Gophers 81, Northwestern 70 (plus Purdue mini-preview)

Who knew that putting a 6-11 guy, a 6-10, and a 6-9 behemoth, none of whom possess ball-handling skills that would rank higher than "6th grade" would result in Globetrotter ball breaking out?  Ralph Sampson, Colt Iverson, and Trevor Mbakwe started last night's game together and were in almost the entire time, spending much of it displaying interior passing that surpassed the realm of shocking and went straight into mind-boggling.  Did you know Colt Iverson could pull off a deft touch-pass leading to a Mbakwe dunk?  No you didn't, liar.

Combine the size of those giants (along with a 6-7 Rodney Williams playing shooting guard) with a Northwestern front-line that ranged from "slight and frail as a 12-year old girl with a skinned knee" to "mobile as an oak tree" and it's easy to see why the Gophers dominated the game.  They were layuping and dunking all over people's heads, leading to 53% shooting on a night they went 2-11 from three (the bigs were 15-24), while on the other end the Wildcats (more like Mildcats, am I right?) treated the area inside the three point line as if it were poison, chucking up 39 three-point attempts (61% of their shots) from behind the arc.  Despite getting cracked in the chin, John Shurna was the only player who seemed to try to penetrate at all, and on a night when the shots weren't falling (just 12 threes went in), it wasn't too difficult to shut them down.

Their switch to that dreaded 1-3-1 seemed to confuse the Gophers for a time, something it's done to no other team this year, letting Northwestern creep back and actually grab the lead at the half, but credit Tubby for fixing that issue in half #2.  Getting the ball to Sampson at the top of the key, where he essentially posted up, allowed him to turn and see who had the advantage on their man out of Mbakwe and Iverson, and get them the ball.  Credit Ralph, because as soft as he is on the interior at times, he is a good enough passer that they can get away with playing him at the 3 in these situations.

Blake passed his first test as the team's new point guard, and really surprised me by still being able to score and get shots.  The freshman back-ups were used sparingly, but were effective enough at not screwing up to help get Blake the ball, and Rodney Williams played one of his better games as a Gopher, I thought.  He wasn't flashy, outside of that monster dunk that was #2 on Sportscenter's plays of the night, but he was very effective.  Although he had just four points, he chipped in 5 rebounds, 6 assists, 2 steals, and 2 blocks with just 2 turnovers (44 fantasy points) despite handling the ball more than usual.  I was impressed.

So the Gophers passed their first test post-Nolen, but a far bigger challenge awaits this weekend, traveling to West Lafayette to take on #12 Purdue.  I previewed the Boilers just a couple weeks ago, so you can read that here, but specific to this matchup I have a few quick questions:

1)  Who the hell is going to guard Lewis Jackson?  Seriously, I need to know.  Blake can't.  Rodney probably could, but then who guards E'Twaun Moore?  Maverick can't.  Hollins?  Armelin?  Go zone?  All I know is that even Al Nolen had a hell of a time keeping Jackson out of the lane (remember, Al's biggest successes when Jackson drove were either blocking his shot or stripping him of the ball, not keeping him out of the lane), so I don't have a clue how they're going to stop him from penetrating.  It'll be like a date with your sister.

2)  Will that 3-big lineup work again?  On offense, yes.  Purdue isn't inept on the interior, but outside of JaJuan Johnson (and that's a big "outside of" by the way), their two other size guys (Patrick Bade and Travis Carroll) don't exactly make big contributions (combined average of under 18 minutes per game).  Defensively, however, I'm not sure how it's going to work.  Hoffarber and Iverson will be liabilities, but Purdue isn't exactly the most athletic team in the conference (Carroll, Ryne Smith, DJ Byrd), but if they can play that 2-3 zone as effectively as they played it against the Wildcats they'll have a chance.  And besides, what's Tubby's other option anyway?  They have no choice but to go with Hoff, Rodney, Colt, Ralph, and Mbakwe for the majority of the game.

3)  Is Purdue overrated?  They rank #12 in both polls and #10 in Ken Pomeroy's statistical rankings, and I'm going to say slightly, and also very much at the same time.  Slightly, because I think they are a top 15 type team nationally based on watching them play.  Very much, because if you look at their results they've done basically nothing so far this year.  Outside of a win over Michigan State, they don't have a single win over a top 50 RPI team, losing in their other three opportunities, and they just got shellacked by Ohio State (although, realistically, there's no shame in that - the Buckeyes would have beaten any team in the country last night, including the NBA).  So although they look like a good team, they haven't really proven to be just yet.

4)  Can the Gophers win in Mackey Arena?  Can they?  Yes.  Will they?  I'd say probably not, but I got a funny feeling and it's not just in my pants.  The three bigs lineup has me feeling confident.  Maybe it's just the "shiny new toy" aspect, or maybe I'm a deranged homer, but I just don't see how Purdue can stop it short of Hoffarber shatting himself, and I don't see that happening.  So it all really comes down to if you think the Gophers can stop Purdue.  And guess what?  I think they can.

Minnesota 67, Purdue 64.

California Love

Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west, a state that's untouchable like Elliot Ness
The track hits your eardrum like a slug to your chest, pack a vest for your jimmy in the city of sex.

By the way, that means I'm in Los Angeles for work.  Which also means I couldn't attend nor watch the Gopher game last night, but it looks like the Gophers went with their standard operating procedure of sucking for the majority of the game and falling behind to a far inferior opponent, and then turning it on in the second half to cruise to a win that looks a lot easier than it really was.  That's all well and good, but if they are still doing that crap once the Big Ten season gets underway it's going to get ugly in a hurry.  Maybe Nolen can fix all that, maybe not.  We're going to find out.

-  No real exciting meals to report.  Well, actually I had one of the best burgers in the history of burgerdom last night at a place in Hollywood called Lucky Devils.  Kobe Beef burger (medium) with lettuce, onions, and some kind of home made secret sauce.  Outstanding.  And the rosemary garlic fries were out of this world.  Although I think Elk, who I am out here with, made the best call of the night (besides the restaurant) going with the Diablo burger, which was a spicy version of what I had.  I had a chance to try their hot sauce and it was really, really good.  I should have ordered that.

Later in the evening we hit up an establishment called the Pig and Whistle for a couple after-dinner drinks and ended up having one with a Michael Jackson impersonator - unless it was really him and the whole "death" thing was a sham.  Stranger things have happened.  Or not really, I guess.  That would be pretty strange.  In any case it was a bit of an unusual occurrence.  But now I'm in the room with nothing but a few Coors Light silos to keep me company, so let's see what things are going on.

-  Jesse Crain to the White Sox, huh?  And Guerrier to the Dodgers, but that doesn't interest me nearly as much since Crain is going to the most hated rival in the world.  They pretty clearly overpaid, but Crain showed just enough in the second half of last year when he started using that slider all the time where I'm pretty nervous to be facing him in the division.  Will he give up tap measure home runs?  Of course.  But the first time they bring him in to face the Twins in the 8th and he shuts them down 1-2-3 I'm going to die a little inside.

-  And speaking of free agents, this Cliff Lee to the Phillies thing is really unfair.  I know the Giants won the series this year with a combination of insane pitching and Buster Posey and that's it, but the Phillies actually have an offense.  Howard is going to hit 40 bombs, Victorino has developed into one hell of a hitter, and Utley and Rollins are great hitters for their positions, even if they were a bit off last year.  I know Werth is gone, but it doesn't really matter who plays left or center or third or whoever the hell their catcher is.   And their only going to have score 2-3 runs a game to win most of the time, and they won't even need a bullpen because Halladay and Lee are just going to pitch complete games every time out anyway.  Halladay, Lee, and Oswalt are all in the top 14 in active complete game leaders, and that includes ancients like Tim Wakefield and Jamie Moyer.  Actually, Halladay is 33, and amongst pitchers 33 or younger they rank 1, 5, and 6.  Ridiculous and basically just unfair.  The over/under for their season wins is going to be like 110.

-  Oh, and if the Twins trade for Joe freaking Blanton and his Nick Blackburn-like career 1.34 WHIP I'm going to drive down there and maim somebody.  Why make a trade for a fifth starter when he's worse than whoever you call up from triple A?  Come on geniuses, don't be stupid.

-  Of course, this is not my first time in Los Angeles for work.  Prior to this I was introduced to the weirdness of everybody in the city trying to get a movie produced, and before that I was lucky enough to become good friends with Larry David and learned a little about women.  L.A. is weird, but I always have a good time.  Plus, I was in a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that time with my good friend Larry.  You can actually see my bald spot in the scene.  I'm famous.

-  Interesting week in college hoops so far.  Three teams who I don't think anybody was super sure what to make of (Louisville, Tennessee, and UNLV) all went on big runs early, picked up huge wins (Louisville over UNLV, Tennessee over Pitt, and UNLV over Wisconsin and Va Tech), got themselves highly ranked (Tenn #7, UNLV #20 , L'Ville #20) and then all crashed and burned this week.  Louisville got beat at home by Drexel, Tennessee got beat at home by Oakland, and UNLV by Santa Barbara.  But no real worries, because they're all still better than Gonzaga who is an absolute nightmare right now.  They're going to end up scrambling to even sniff an at-large bid.

-  In case you're wondering what's going with the world's worst shooting guard, Scottie Reynolds was picked 13th in the first round of the NBDL draft by Tulsa, who then immediately shipped him off in a trade to get of his stink.  Since play began he ranks 19th in scoring (behind guys like Pat Ewing Jr. and Roderick Wilmont), and 19th in assists (behind guys like Curtis Stinson and Luke Jackson).  Nicely done.

-  Speaking of the NBDL draft, other picks of interest:
First Round:  Alan Anderson (Mich State like 100 years ago), Robert Vaden (UAB), Magnum Rolle (LA Tech - love this guy).
Third Round:  Lawrence Westbrook (averaging 7 pts, 2 rebs, 2 asts per game with Maine)
Fourth Round:  Derek Raivio (Gonzaga, the living clone of the Professor)
Fifth Round:  Daniel Horton (Michigan, this guy sucked)

And that's it.  Every year I think there's going to be a bunch of funny in this draft, and every year it turns out I've only heard of a handful of guys.  And I know way too much about college ball to not know who this many guys are.  So where are these guys coming from?  Some secret basketball concentration camp?  This is bullshit.

-  John Shurna tonight:  28 pts, 4 rebs, 2 assists, 3 steals, 3 blocks, 1 turnover.  That's 64 fantasy points, baby.  And guess whose got 'em?

-  Shelden Williams is still in the NBA?  What the hell?  The guy's offensive game rivals Miles Tarver and his defensive game is what I imagine Blake Hoffarber would look like if he was taller and blacker. 

-  You ever just sit around wondering who the top scoring Big Ten college basketball players would be in a Bi g Ten fantasy league (pt = 1pt, reb = 2 pt, assist = 3 pt, block or steal = 4 pt, turnover = -2 pts)?  Well wonder no more.  The top ten in our league:
1.  Jon Leuer, Wisconsin
2.  Darius Morris, Michigan
3.  Trevor Mbakwe, Minnesota
4.  Jordan Taylor, Wisconsin
5.  Blake Hoffarber, Minnesota
6.  Draymond Green, Michigan State
7.  Jared Sullinger, Ohio State
8.  JaJuan Johnson, Purdue
9.  Demetri McCamey, Illinois
10.  E'Twaun Moore, Purdue

It's worth noting I have none of those people, and also - not coincidentally - I'm the only team that's 0-2 thus far.  Also props to Snacks, Bogart, Snake, Dawger, Elk, Grandslam, and Optimator.  I sent an email one random morning asking if anybody wanted to do fantasy Big 10 hoops, and by that afternoon we were in round 3 of the draft.  Nice work, gentleman.

-  By the way, yes, that's Blake Hoffarber at #5.  He's having a hell of a year.  14.8 points per game (13th in the B10), 4.9 assists (3rd.  THIRD!!), 3.5 rebounds (39th), and 1.7 steals (5th, and wow) all while shooting 40% from three (leading the conference in both makes and attempts) and turning it over just 1.6 times per game despite being the defacto main ball handler.  Actually, he's been efficient enough on offense to rank #63 in kenpom.com's offensive efficiency ranking, which may not sound that great but keep in mind there are 340-some teams and this ranking includes all those dudes from smaller conferences who dominate.  In terms of Big Ten players, he ranks behind just Jon Diebler, John Shurna, Jordan Hulls of Indiana, and Jordan Taylor.  Combine fantasy points, which shows he's putting up numbers, and efficiency rating, which shows he's, well, efficient, and you could make a case for him to be behind just Taylor as the most valuable player in the Big Ten this year.  I can't believe I just typed that sentence.  I'm now going to pull my fingers off with bolt cutters.  Which I just happen to have here in the hotel room.

California is weird, dude

God I have so much to say/write about.  Unfortunately, I won't be getting my new computer until Wednesday, so for now this computer in the businnes area of the hotel will have to do, and there is a line behind me so I'll have to keep this short.  This place is weird as crap.  I'm in Burbank/Hollywood for the new job orientation, and the people here are bizarre.  I once called Dayton fans hipster doofuses, which set off a bit of an email firestorm, but I need to apologize to Dayton fans - the true hipster doofuses are out here.  Every single person is wearing one of those stupid hats Kevin from the Office wears when he's playing with his band or does something equally douchey by wearing a tie, but wearing it completely untied and just hanging around his neck like a scarf or something.  And everyone in the hotel bar just sits and talks about their "scripts" or their "productions."  Yeah, I'm sure successfull people just get done with a long day of working and still want to talk about it.  I even heard one guy mention the name "Sandler."  First, you're a dork.  Second, are you really sure you want to proud of attaching Sandler to a project these days?  He hasn't been good since that movie with Damon Wayans.

I really have mentally catalogued about a billion things to write about, including this Nick Blackburn signing and everything, but I have no time.  This sucks.  No computer, stuck in a hotel in an area code where sports are over by 8pm?  Seriously it's just after nine here and sports have been over for an hour.  I've been stuck playing Texas Hold 'Em on my new phone.  And I haven't even seen a celebrity yet.  How can I seduce Natalie Portman back up to my room if I don't even see her?  Actually I think I might have been in the same line at the rent-a-car place as some PGA golfer.  He had nothing but golf clothes on and had some placard around his neck that said "PGA TOUR" and they are in California this week, but I didn't recognize him so at best he's somebody like Marc Leishman.  Joy.  Or he was just some poser, and I'm starting to think this is the Poser capital of the world. 

Oh, and sorry for no Week in Review this week, but what am I gonna do?  Believe me it is killing me to not be able to write.  I can only assume it's much worse for you since you have nothing good to read while trying to kill time at your shitty job.  Here's you short Week in Review:

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  All the teams who won bids.  Except Wofford.  Good lord the SoCon sucks.  That Wofford/App State game tonight was an affront to everyone who likes basketball.  No chance they win or cover in the tournament.

2.  Those teams who did what they needed to.  This would include St. Mary's, Seton Hall, Wake Forest, etc.  The teams who needed who win to get in or stay in consideration.  It's always nice when a team rises to the occassion.  I wouldn't know what that is like.

3.  My fantasy college hoops team.  I won.  Yes, I won the championship.  Special thanks to John Shurna, who had a monster week for me, and also to Ralph Sampson, who my opponent had and who did nothing.  Congratulations to me, the World Champion of the World.

WHO SUCKED

1.  California.  You people are weird.

2.  All the teams who choked.  This would include teams like Dayton, Illinois, and Minnesota.  You had your chances and you've ruined them all at several different times.  It saddens me that someone like Illionis is probably going to get in.  If not them, someone with a simiarly shitty profile.  But it's ok, because I have a real good handle on the tournament this year.  If I don't win my pool, I'll be shocked.

3.  Anyone who didn't watch that Siena/Fairfield game for the MAAC championship.  That was a classic.  Siena down 15, roars back, we get OT - just a great game to watch, completely different than the WCC final (and the WCC will be going 0-2 in the tournament, guaranteed).  Siena is going to be a damn tough team to figure out.  They really beat nobody this year and were behind in every MAAC tourny game, but they won every MAAC tourny game, and if you remember the NCAAs last year the same thing happened and they ended up beating Ohio State.  I thought their zero big wins profile meant they weren't going to be able to do anything, but maybe that's just their MO.  Very weird team.

4.  Women's Basketball.  I don't give a crap what UCONN women's basketball is doing unless we have some full contact nudity.  Don't cut away from the last four minutes of the CAA championship to show me that crap.  Title IV be damned.


Ok, I wrote all this in about 8 minutes so you can stuff your sorrys in a sack if there's a typo or a mistake.  Captain Weirdo is his bowler hat and Trader Joe's sweatshirt is sweating me to get on a computer so he can email his mom about how somebody halfway looked at his script but he'll still be home in time for dinner.  And he's like 40. 

California is weird, dude.  I see why Zack and Slater ruled this town. 

Good Lord Lazy

(pic added, just for Snake)

14:00 - Watching the game on tape delay, and I wasn't going to type up anything or live (taped) blog this, but it's time to say lazylazylazylazylazylazylazylazylazylazylazylazylazylazylazylazy.  Sampson walks through the paint while a shot is in the air.  Westbrook walks out to defend his man.  Johnson lets the dribbler go right past him in transition.  Hell, Hoffarber has looked like crap defensively but I'm actually more proud of him than anybody else because at least he's trying, he just doesn't have the ability.  Seriously, this a pathetic effort.  I try harder to listen when Mrs. W is talking about The Biggest Loser, and god knows I'm not trying very hard.

12:02 - I don't hate aggessive-brook, but jesus christ he drives me batty some times.  There's a difference between being aggressive and just throwing up anything.  You aren't Glen Rice.  You don't have a "zone" like that.  Calm the hell down.  Of course, there are times where it's needed.  I'm just saying.  Not right now.

11:40 - we finally hit a tv timeout, and I'm pretty sure we just went all the way to the under 12 without a break.  I could be wrong.  I've had a few drinks.  We had a work thing (thus the reason I'm watching this on Tivo).  Oh, you want to know what I had?  I went with the Buffalo Ribeye (that's bison, not buffalo sauce, which I already had to explain once tonight) with fingerling potatoes and a couple absolut tonics.  No salad, because the communist restaurant we went to didn't have caesar salad.  What the F?

11:23 - Huh.  So even if you miss a timeout, they just give back to back ones even if you're under 12 minutes already.  Interesting.  I guess the Marines and the National Geographic Channel aren't just gonna sell themselves.  (NOTE:  I love the Nat Geo channel.  Naked Science and Hooked! are both awesome).

11:00 - I think Mrkovic has had his shot blocked six times already.  No joke.  I should also mention here that Northwestern isn't running that queer zone.  I'd bet anything they bust in out to start the second half.  Also Mrkovic just had his shot blocked again, this time Rodney rejected it so hard Mrkys boyfriend died.

9:20 - Nobody in history has missed as many close-in shots as Paul Carter.  It's not possible.

8:37 - By the way, the T-Wolves were down 40-16 after the first quarter tonight.  It's the only time a Minnesota team has been outscored by 24 points in one quarter.  Not counting Gopher football.  *rimshot*

7:20 - Bostick for three!  I'm telling you, he'd be the leading scorer in the Missouri Valley, not counting that dude from Drake.   

5:56 - Tie ball game at 21 after a Damian dunk.  That's two fantasy points, bitches.  And a Westbrook three gives the team the lead after a steal off the press that for some odd reason wasn't run at all against the turnover prone Spartans.  But we aren't allowed to question Tubby.  Forget I said that.

5:31 - Shurna dunk.  That's two fantasy points, bitches.

4:45 - By the way, if you haven't yet, check out the recruiting class Pastner is bringing in at Memphis next year.  It's so good that I am pretty sure I'm going to write a post about it at some point, but if you want a preview check it out.  It makes the Fab Five or this year's Kentucky class look like your typical Monson class (Minnesota, not Gonzaga).

4:15 - I have no idea what this offense is, but two Gophers just made the same cut, from the same spot to the same spot.  I'm going to assume that's not correct.

3:25 - Holy crap the Twins actually signed Thome?  Awesome.  I love this.  Snacks and I had a nice email conversation about this today.  They play Thome every 3rd game or so against righties (sitting Delmon and putting Kubes in left) and use him as a big bat late off the bench for anyone of their constant myriad of light-hitting infielders and it works very well, depending on price, which I haven't seen yet. 

3:00 - a bunch of steals and some points happened while I typed that.  Gophers now lead 31-23.

2:55 -  one year, $1.5 million with another $750k in possible incentives?  Freakin' steal.  I love this.  Please don't be old and suck.

1:00 - Carter misses another tip inside.  He's cursed.

0:45 - I see why Northwestern ranks so awful in getting their shots blocked on offense.  They just don't care who is around.  Any of those crazy white boys is willing to just take the shot at any time no matter who might be lurking.  Gotta be honest, not sure that's a winning strategy.

0:02.4 - Quote from Gardy "I don't expect him to come off the bench and be a .400 hitter. I expect him to come off the bench and be a threat," Gardenhire said. "He looks like stinkin' Babe Ruth. He swings like Babe Ruth. We've seen too many fly against us. Now let's see some fly for us."  I love it.  Let's let this moment be a philosophy shifter.

HALF - Gophers lead 33-25.  At this point you'd probably be thinking everything is going swimmingly.  Gophers lead by more than half of what they were favored by and really dominated the back half of the first half, so everybody be happy and dance and eat hot dogs.  Well guess what, Gomer?  We still haven't seen that queer little press, so let's not start making out with each other while the green guy watches from the corner just yet, k?

19:45 - There's the zone, and they work the ball inside and get an easy six-footer from DJ.  Beautiful.  Perfect, even.  Why can't I believe it'll be that way every time?

18:50 - Northwestern gets three shots that possession, which is embarrassing all by itself, but somehow airballs two of them.  I'm smelling rout.

17:49 - Ben Sheets got more than $8 million for one year?  Yamma hamma, it's fright night.  Interesting, and expensive, gamble, but say he is back to his old form and they can ship him out at the trade deadline to a contender?  Could be genius.  Probably not, but could be.

15:35 - Gophers handling the zone inexplicably well.  A lot of ball movement, good use of Ralph in the high-post (I'd bet he already has a season-high in assists this game, and a lot of penetrating the gaps (*thatswhatshesaid*)

15:05 - Gophers go with the second-unit crap, and for some reason Carmody pulls the zone off and goes back to man.  If ever a group of ballplayers was begging to be passively 1-3-1'd it's these guys.  Cobbs?  Williams?  Carter?  Bostick?  One ballhandler in the group and he's an overexciteable (yet full of promise) freshman.  And you want Iverson to play your high post?  If he doesn't end up scoring a bucket on an attempted lob pass at some point this year I'll be a monkey's uncle.

14:42 - Shurna heating up.  That's like 3 three pointers this half, and the lead is down to six.

13:41 - Bostick throws the lob to an open Williams that sails into about the 13th row.  When he is pulled, immediately, from the lineup Tubby calls him right over to talk - what do you say here?  Next possession and Hoffarber tries the lob to Williams and it's another misfire and another turnover.  See, now this is where you need to put a stop to this shit.  It's only a six-point lead, you can't be farting around like you're playing open gym against a bunch of guys in backwards hats who wear gold chains to play ball.  This needs to be a timeout/chewout situation.  He got Bostick out of there in a hurry, but golden boy Hoffarber is still in the game.  Could Tubby be a racist?  He did coach in the deep south, Oklahoma, and Kentucky.  I assume those are the three racist capitals of the world.  I think they got to Tubby.  It certainly explains a lot about why Busch played so many minutes last year.

12:18 - Fun rant and all, but it's now a four-point game.

12:04 - two point game after a Wildcat steal.  At least Tubby has the decency to call the timeout right away instead of waiting for the tv stoppage like a whole bunch of other idiots always do.

11:01 - Devoe and Johnson discuss who should guard "Juice" on the inbounds play, even pointing and making hand gestures.  Then they both leave him, giving him a wide open three-pointer without him even making a cut (or, actually, so much as a step) and he, of course, knocks it down to make it a 42-41 Gopher lead.  This team is going to kill me.  Literally knife me to death in my sleep.

10:05 - At least Ralphie is showing some aggression tonight, continuing to slowly develop into the player I always said he'd be before I turned my back on him a few weeks ago.  Bad fan?  Or master motivator?  Just because he's ignored my facebook friend request doesn't mean he doesn't read this blog every single day.

9:20 - Devoe throws it away against the 1-3-1 (7th team turnover of the half) and the Wildcats get the ball back down just two.  I'm afraid to watch.

8:29 - Alternating shitty possessions before Ralph gets open for a monster dunk.  He'll probably end up breaking a backboard at some point.  If Tiny Gallon can do it, why not Ralph?

7:57 - Carter misses a layup on the break.  I'm not even kidding.  That guy needs to go back to 6th grade gym class with Mr. Jones where he made you shoot layups over and over again, and then when he finally let you play three-on-three and you had to guard some massive girl who had six inches and sixty pounds on you would call you for a foul if you so much as hand-checked even a little.  And I swear it was just a handcheck, no hanky panky.  Although, now that I think about it, that might have been a golden opportunity.  God I was a dumb twelve-year old.

5:57 - Cobbs back in and Northwestern is once again in a man defense.  It's like they're scared of him.  Pretty sure the only entity that needs to fear Cobbs is the backboard.  Oh, and Juice hits a three right over him when he closes out weakly and lazily, and we're tied at 48.  They lose this I'm not going to a game the rest of the year, and it's time get after Tubby.  No joke.

5:08 - Shurna to the line after a DJ turnover.  My good buddy and occassional hockey guy Snake has a theory that Damian is on the take, and sometimes it seems to make sense.  For all the little things he does really well, he also does a whole lot of little things wrong.  Watch him carefully sometime, it's true.  Shurna makes 1.

4:45 - Hoff for three, Gophers by two.  I'm starting to think if Hoff was standing in Dinkytown taking volunteers to give him handies I'd be second in line (behind the Dawger.)

4:09 - Hoff for three again.  That's nine straight Gopher points for him.  I'm pretty sure I'd be first, and with a variety of lotions. 

3:15 - Lest you thought this was over, Nash hits a three, then a steal on a shitty Devoe pass leads to a Nash layup and we're back to a two point Gopher lead.  At least my Northwestern +10.5 looks good.  Unlike that shot Devoe just chucked up there that missed everything but the backboard.  Good lord does he clench at the end of close games.  I hope Corey doesn't have that same trait, or he's going to go to the podium to announce his decision and instead of saying "UCONN" he's going to blurt "UMASS."  It's funny cause UMASS sucks.

2:30 - Hoff for three on a great great great pass/decision by Westbrook on a play where I would have expected him to force his own shot.  Very impressed by that play.

2:20 - Terrible defense by Devoe, completely losing Shurna, but that was at least nullified by a nice DJ lay-in on yet another great pass by Ralph.  I knew this was going to the wire.  61-56 Gophers.  And we've seen our first "HOFFARBER FACTOR" graphic ever.  Congrats?

1:21 - According to "Chad Ford", Greg Monroe isn't a lottery pick this year.  That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.  There are four good picks this year:  Monroe, Wall, Favors, and Turner.  Who wants to bet the Wolves end up at three or four, but take somebody like Ed Davis?  I'd bet anything.  Except my vodka.

1:21 - I just looked further (dont' worry, game is paused) and Ford has Monroe as the #23 prospect behind guys like UNC's John Henson, who looks like a 6-10 Tayshaun Prince, if Prince was scared of contact, and Willie Warren, who is too small to play the 2 and too shitty to play the point.  This is baffling to me.  I'm baffled.  I suppose I'm better off watching the end of the game instead.  But I'm terrified.  I almost want to just skip to the end.  I won't.  I can't.  I'm going to watch the whole thing because I'm strong.  I'm like the Sojourner Truth of gopher bloggers.

0:55 - Joseph misses a wide open three with the Gophers up three.  You cannot miss that shot when your #1 skill is three-point shooting.  You cannot.

15.6 - Northwestern gets a terrible shot and misses, rebound out of bounds to the Gophers, but not before Juice goes right by Joseph.  Thanks to terrible decision making he kicks it out instead of scoring somehow.  Looked a lot like somebody playing a video game and hittng the wrong button.  Whatever, we'll take it.

10.6 - Devoe misses the front-end, but Hoff snags the O-board and gets fouled.  Remember what I said above?  Double it.  Blake makes both and we're looking at the rare team win and wager win.  Nice.

3.5 - Juice hits a forty-footer and we're looking at a two point game.  Not even the Gophers can blow this, right?  RIGHT?

3.5 - I want you to know that Cartier Martin scored 20 tonight for Golden State.  Apparently anybody can put up huge numbers in that offense.  Suck it, Curry (and, by extension, Dawger).

3.0 - Westbrook free throw good.  Carmody timeout. Hoffarber montage.  Westy free throw.  Ballgame.

It wasn't exactly impressive, but at this point I'm not really looking for style points.  Just win the game.  And they did.  I'd write more but I'm tired.  This team is exhausting.

Oh Snap, here come the Wildcats!

After the world's worst Minnesota sporting weekend I almost forgot that we now get to welcome Northwestern and their boring ass offense and amorphous blob of an unsolvable zone to the Barn.  Since no matter how hard I try to ignore this fact it won't go away, we might as well hit up a preview of sorts, eh?

1.  If Kevin Coble's hurt, why is Northwestern better this year than last year?  Mainly because Coble v. 2.0 is on the scene in the form of John Shurna.  He's gangly and awkward, yet fundamentally sound and effective all at the same time.  He was a three-star dork coming out of high school and wasn't heavily recruited and had a pretty non-descript freshman year but has exploded this season, more than doubling his scoring average (from 7 to 17), rebounding average (3 to 7), and assists (1 to 2.5).  Probably roid related.  Solid player (and also a member of my fantasy team, the Rick Rickert All-Stars).

Shurna isn't the only Wildcat to make a major leap this year.  Point guard Michael Thompson, who has inexplicably started going by the moniker "Juice", has increased his scoring by about 50% while increasing his assists and decreasing his turnovers and has already dropped 20+ against three good teams (Purdue, Notre Dame, NC State).  Jeremy Nash, the reptillian-like head to the aforementioned amorphous blob, is suddenly scoring almost ten points a game as a senior after averaging less than 3.5 througout his career and is stealing nearly two balls a game.  He's a major pest.  Add in major contributions from freshman Drew Crawford and it's easy to see why not only are they an NCAA contender this year, but could be real threat next year as well.

2.  Can you tell me more about this Crawford fella?  Sure.  Crawford, like most Nor'westerners, was a three-star recruit, but unlike most of them he was heavily recruited with offers from Wake Forest and Oklahoma State but chose to sign with the Wildcats due to his experience with one of the team's assistant coaches who coached his 7th grade AAU team and academic reasons (he had a 4.2 GPA in high school and scored 31 on his ACTs).  He's already made an impact at third on the team in scoring, rebounding, and three-pointers made and is a very versatile player at 6-5.  He can go off huge, with games of 35, 25, and 22 already this year, but can also be shut down (6 games of under 5 points).  Containing Crawford is going to be huge tomorrow.  Although Shurna and Thompson are the big guns, Crawford might be the most dangerous.  Like a sub-machine gun. 

3.  So who are the keys for the Gophers?  It seems pretty obvious if you ask me, and that's Devoe Joseph and Blake Hoffarber.  Joseph is the new point guard, and will be the main man responsible for dealing with that zone.  I like this, because a good way to beat a zone is to penetrate the gaps, and although Nolen could penetrate, he sure couldn't finish - just like you.  Devoe will have to balance dribble-penetration and smart passes with getting his own shot - not easy against the Wildcat zone, but I have faith.

As far as the Hoff goes, I am sure you remember how Dawger's boyfriend Jamal Abu-Shamala lit up Northwestern every time they played.  There are two reasons for that:  it's a zone and it's not an athletic team.  Well, they still play zone, they still aren't overly athletic (even with Crawford now), and Hoffarber is ten times the player Shamala was (and that might be low).  He should be able to get his shots early and often, and if he is still red hot could knock this game out in a hurry.

4.  If Minnesota manages to pull this out, is this going to end up being a win over an NCAA Tournament team?  Well, probably not, but there's a shot.  If Northwestern loses to the Gophers, that drops them to 3-5 in conference play and 14-6 overall.  Currently sitting at 56th in RPI (9 spots ahead of the Gophers) and 74th in Strenght of Schedule, they'd certainly have their work cut out for them.  They do have a signature win over Purdue and a whole host of medium-good wins (NC State, Iowa State, Stanford, Notre Dame), so I'd bet 9-9 in the conference would have a shot to get them in.  They still play Indiana, Iowa, and Penn State all twice so winning all of those gets them to 9-9.  It's not likely, but it's possible.  FYI that would mean the Gophers have a whole three wins over tournament teams.  Joy.

5.  In honor of the nerds, can you break this down numbers-wise?  Northwestern ranks 62nd in the country in offensive efficiency, 94th in defensive efficiency, and 288th in tempo.  The Gophers rank 63rd offensively, 12th defensively, and 68th in tempo.  The Wildcats biggest strengths are taking care of the basketball (24th in not turning it over), defending the three (opponents shoot just 28% against - 19th in the country), and shooting the basketball (84th in effective field goal %).  Minnesota's weaknesses are getting offensive rebounds (173rd), allowing offensive rebounds (176th), and defending the three pointer (117th).  The Gophers' strengths are causing turnovers (8th), defending the two-point shot (15th - just 41.8%), and causing steals (7th) and blocks (7th).  Northwestern's weakness are getting offensive rebounds (256th), getting their shots blocked (245th), and defending the two-point shot (205th - allowing 48.6%).

What's all that mean?  The teams matchup fairly well, and this could be a tight one.  Will Blake's hot shooting overcome a Wildcat defense that defends the three-pointer well?  Can Devoe (and Westbrook) get inside the zone and create opportunities?  Will the Gophers interior defense stifle the Cats inside players?  I don't know, but I know that things like "desperation" and "seriously need to win this one" actually go a long way in college basketball.  Plus, they're a bunch of nerds.

Gophers 70, Northwestern 64.

Week in Review - 11/30/2009

Guess what I can't bring myself to talk about right now?  Yep, Gopher basketball.  I know this is supposedly a gopher basketball blog (and Twins), but I just can't do it.  I am livid.  Liv.  Id.  But it's really my own fault.  Here I somehow started to believe this was a "special" team, meaning a sweet 16ish type.  Now I'm coming to realize that it's not even close.  It's just like last year - and why wouldn't it be?  It's pretty much the same team.  All the same warts.  So we can expect to be in a fight for a bid, probably make it, and be happy with that as the upside.  Great.  Better than the Monson years no doubt, but I feel like a kid who just found out Santa isn't real.  I can't even come close to rationally discussing this right now.  And, as they say, if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all.  So I won't.


WHO WAS AWESOME
1.  Cincinnati.  If not for some Tim Donaghy-level reffing (huge foul disparity, blown call on game-winning layup attempt) and an unfortunately timed foul shooting meltdown (2-7 in overtime, with two misses by Deonta Vaughn (career 80+ shooter), the Bearcats would be returning from Maui as the champions of the Maui Classic - as it is, they return instead as a legitimate contender for the Big East title after beating two top-25 teams (Vanderbilt and Maryland) and losing in overtime to Gonzaga.  I told you people this team was going to be good, and there are some very good things.  Freshman Lance Stephenson has Carmelo Anthony-type potential.  They have other potential stars both outside (Vaughn) and inside (Yancy Gates), are very deep, and are an excellent defensive team.  I still think they have final four potential.  Sure, there are some things they need to work on - they settle for too many jumpers and struggle against athletic big men, and I'm not sure about Cashmere Wright at the point just yet, but they could make some noise in March.  And don't forget, Ibrahima Thomas won't be eligible until December. 

2.  Purdue.  Even with all the cross-pollenating tournaments and all that jazz, it's still rare to get a matchup of two teams ranked in the top-11, so when that happens this early, the winner should feel pretty good about themselves.  In this case and using this tortured multi-part sentence, I'm talking about Purdue and their very good 73-72 win over Tennessee in the Virgin Islands on Monday.  It was the three usual suspects bringing the Boilers to victory - Robbie Hummel (20 pts, 7 rebs), the "College KG" JaJuan Johnson (11 pts), and E'Twaun Moore (22 pts) - and those three will be the key to how far the Boilers go this year, but a lot of credit needs to go to Keaton Grant, who's being forced to fill in at the point with the injury to Lewis Jackson and doing a nice job.  I'm not sure when Lew-Jack is supposed to be back, but Purdue hasn't missed a beat without him.

3.  John Shurna.  Wasn't Northwestern supposed to be dead in the water after Coble got hurt?  It certainly isn't looking that way, especially after they won the Chicago Invitational by beating Notre Dame and Iowa State, two teams with NCAA Tournament aspirations, and completely on the back of Shurna, the 6-8 sophomore who won the tournament MVP award - quite an accompishment consider Luke Harangody and Craig Brackins were both involved.  And where did this come from?  Shurna was a lightly recruited, 3-star player out of high school who ended up at Northwestern because they were his best offer and has suddenly turned into a Coble clone.  He's the same guy, although I think Coble would beat him at horse, but he's got the same inside/outside, unathletically effective game, and he defintiely came to play this weekend.  He put up 25-8-4 against Notre Dame (Harangody:  21-9-0) and 23-7-4 against Iowa State (Brackins:  18-9-3) to lead the Wildcats to what must surely be their first place trophy in anything basketball related.  I hate to say it, but with Shurna and Thompson both back next year with more experience, the Coble injury might have been the best thing that could have happened to them.  If they don't get their first ever NCAA bid this year, next year should be it.   

4.  Richmond.  After losing earlier this season to William & Mary, a Spiders team that was supposed to challenge for the A-10 crown was looking like more of a CBI caliber team.  They made up for that loss, however, by winning the South Padre Invitational with wins over Mississippi State and Missouri, wins that aren't what you would called marquee, but very nice quality wins that should end up looking good on selection sunday.  They also got a boost with William & Mary's win at Wake Forest this weekend, which shows W&M is a legit team and softens the sting of that early season loss.

5.  Florida.  The Gators won the Legends Classic in Atlantic City by beating Rutgers and Michigan State (yet another Big Team who bombed this week), and started the week by crushing Florida State.  I wasn't sure exactly what to make of the Gators coming in to this year, but the newcomers have been great (Kenny Boynton leads the team in scoring and Vernon Macklin is in double-figures as well), and Erving Walker is settling in as a pretty good point guard.  Looks like they'll be back in tournament, and not the NIT this time.


WHO SUCKED

1. Oklahoma.  Losing Blake Griffin will obviously make things a little rough, but the Sooners had Willie Warren and Tony Crocker back as well as a really nice recruiting class with two projected starters in it, so the thought was that they would be ok.  Well, the Great Alaska Shootout showed that perhaps that isn't exactly the case since the Sooners came home with a prestigious 7th place trophy after going 1-2 in the frozen north.  They lost to both San Diego and Houston prior before drawing the now 0-8 Nicholls State Colonels, who actually led 47-41 at one point in the second half before falling 81-60.  This was basically an unequivacable disaster for Oklahoma, who were ranked 25th before this tournament.  Neither Houston nor San Diego is awful, and both will probably be on the fringes of the bubble come tournament time, but you just can't do this if you're a major conference school who has hopes of competing for your league's championship.  They shot 33% and were out rebounded 39-30 against San Diego in game 1 and then turned it over 18 times while allowing Houston to shoot 46% from three in game two.  You can probably just go ahead and cross Oklahoma off your NCAA bid list right now.  I'll bet anything it's because of Tony Crocker and his retarded long sleeve t-shirts.  Either that or they miss the power of Austin Johnson's mohawk (and his Miles Tarver-look-like-ness).

2.  Greivis Vasquez.  Maryland had a rough go this week at the Maui Invitational, losing two out of three games - to Cincinnati by 12 and Wisconsin by 9, and picking up their only win by beating tournament host and noted high school program Chaminade in the opening round.  The main issue here, is that their main man and 8th year senior Greivis Vasquez suddenly can't shoot.  In the three games, he shot 2-7, 5-17, and 6-13, which is a combined 35% and actually a nice improvement on his season-total of 30% field goal shooting.  Now, his other numbers are good, he's averaging a career high 6.0 assists and 2.2 steals per game, his 2.1-1 assist-to-turnover ratio is his best as well and his rebounding is right in line with his career numbers, but his scoring is at just 9.8 per game, exactly half of last year's average, and his shooting, as mentioned, as Nolen-Level atrocious.  The Terps can't win without Vasquez scoring, as shown last week, so he needs to get it together if they're going to make the tournament.

3.  Illinois.  You know who hates Las Vegas?  And no, I'm not talking about Dr. Acula, I'm talking about the not so Fighting Illini, who had an awful Las Vegas Invitational.  It should have been a nice resume building weekend.  Beat a crappy Utah team on Friday night and then take on Oklahoma State on Saturday - win or lose, it's overall going to help your resume.  Well, things didn't quite work out, because Illinois managed to screw it up and lose to Utah on Friday, despite having a 32-16 lead at halftime, the same Utah team who lost to Seattle earlier in the week.  Then, instead of at least salvaging the weekend by winning the consolation bracket with a win over Bradley, the go out and get beat by four instead.  Obviously this doesn't exactly look good for the Big Ten, but hey, maybe the Illini are actually terrible and it will be a couple of easy wins for the Gophers.  Special props out to "star" freshmen Brandon Paul and D.J. Richardson, who combined to shoot 6-27 in the tournament.  If I'm an Illini fan, I'm very worried right now.

4.  UCLA.  Well you knew this was coming, but there's just now way to avoid pointing out the colossal flop the Bruins pulled this weekend.  Even in a down year, would you ever expect the Bruins to finish 8th in an 8-team tournament?  The loss to Portland is obviously not that bad, and the loss to Butler isn't a killer, but to then drop a game to Long Beach?  Especially after having already gone 0-2 they knew they needed this one to salvage, well, anything, out of this, and instead got destroyed by a Dan Monson coached team.  Ouch.  And what the F ever happened to Drew Gordon?  He was supposed to be the stud daddy, but had an awful rough weekend to go along with a subpar career so far.  He failed to break 10 points or 4 rebounds in any game of the tournament, bottoming out in him just playing 12 minutes against Long Beach.  I don't exactly know what's going on down in Westwood, but this is the worst I can remember the program being since I started watching basketball.    

5.  Arkansas.  Most of the teams in either category are pretty obvious this week due to the tournaments and such.  Insert winners into "awesome" and insert 8th place teams into "suck."  Pretty straight forward.  Arkansas (an NCAA hopeful, mind you), on the other hand, had three cupcake games this week - all home games - versus Morgan State, East Tennessee State, and South Alabama.  Well guess what?  They lost all three.  ALL.  THREE.  This is, perhaps, the worst week an NCAA hopeful has ever had this early in the season against this level of opposition.  Now, I know the Razorbacks are a bit hamstrung right now with Courntey Fortson still out due to some sort of disciplinary issue, but these are not losses you see from an NCAA team no matter who they're missing.  In any other week, this would be by far the thing that sucked the most.  But not this week.


The thing that sucked most this week was Dayton coming back and beating Towson after being down by 18 with just nine minutes to play.  That would have given them an 0-2 week capped off with a loss to one of the worst programs in history, and given me an excuse use the Towson picture I have.  Craptacular.

Actually, when am I ever going to have a chance another chance to use a Towson picture?