I think I've solved the issue with the lack of content/posts on the site. I've decided to bring in a partner. TRE from www.stillgothope.com. He's a pretty funny dude and a good writer, he's a Twins and Gopher fan, and this should increase the amount of Gopher football coverage on this site by eleventy billion percent. He's already written one post, on a weekend no less, and basically called me stupid so he should fit in here just fine. I've always thought I had a tougher road because I'm the only Gopher blog with only one writer and especially lately I haven't been bringing the quantity or quality, but now we don't have to worry about that anymore. So welcome aboard, TRE. If you suck you won't just be fired, you'll be killed.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Justin Morneau. His batting average last week was actually pretty crappy at .240, but of his 6 hits four of them were HR bombs which is a great sign, and his batting average on balls in play was just .125 which says he was pretty damn unlucky last week, outside of hitting the ball 1000 miles a few times. If you remember last year, before captain softhead was put down for the season the big problem was that he wasn't hitting the ball with any kind of power. His ISO (which is slugging-batting average and measures raw power without it being a function of a high average) was .106, which was less than half his career average and nowhere near what he usually does and was a huge reason many people, myself included, were wondering if perhaps the head injury had broken his brain enough where he had turned into a slap hitter. Well I'm not really worried about that anymore. Now I'm just hoping they can trade him for BOATLOADS.
2. Stephen Strasburg. I've never made it a secret that I'm desperately in love with the Stras but he's kind of like Natalie Portman and the more you learn about him the more you love him and now apparently he can hit, too. No, I won't waste your time drooling over his pitching again because you already know he's basically unhittable, but after going 1-2 with a monster dinger and 2-2 in his last two games he's .389 this year with an OBP of .421, slugging of .722, and OPS of 1.143. To put that in perspective he'd lead the Twins in every offensive category and it wouldn't even be fucking close which is actually pretty depressing. I mean, it's probably a bit fluky considering he was 1-26 in his career before this year and was hitting just .143 six games ago, but since then he's gone 6-11 and four of those six hits have been for extra bases, plus he hit .400 in his (admittedly short) minor league career. I guess what this really does is beg the question, "could Strasburg get Strasburg out?" We should ask that tootsie pop owl guy, he seemed pretty sharp.
3. Mike Stanton. I'm not going to call him Giancarlo just because somebody tells me to even if it's this guy himself and even if there's a good reason. I honestly don't know if there was a good reason because I didn't really pay attention and when I first saw the Giancarlo thing I wondered if they were brothers because I'm stupid but the point of this story is that Stanton destroyed the ball this week and even broke the scoreboard off Jamie Moyer (and watch him pimp this home run):
Dude's 22 years old and hitting .291 with 12 dingers already after hitting 34 last year and 22 in his half season rookie year. Take notes, Twins' fans. This is what we need to hope Sano is.
4. Anaheim Angels. Maybe it's stupid to write nice things about the Angels on the same day Jered Weaver gets pulled because of an injury after pitching to just three batters and getting none of them out, but the Angels seem like maybe they've kind of figured this shit out - finally. Dan Haren, who had been knocked around all year by such horrendous offensive teams as the Twins and the Twins, finally looked like the Dan Haren we used to know by throwing a complete game shutout against Seattle with 14 whiffs (yes Seattle but still), Albert Pujols is hitting the ball again like a man, and Kendrys Morales is hot. If they could figure out how to get Morales, Pujols, and Trumbo in the lineup at the same time or just trade one of them they'd be in better shape, but after a pretty lackluster start to the year they've won six straight, and even if it's against crappy teams like Oakland and Seattle it still counts and those teams are in their division too so it counts double. Plus these guys used to lose to the Twins, so you know.
5. Kevin Garnett. I know he's probably always been an ass and he's definitely become an ass since he won that title with the Celtics, but for some stupid reason I find myself rooting for him, again, and he was probably the biggest reason Boston made the finals, because outside of game 4, KG was a monster in the entire series against the 76ers. He outscored his season average in six of the seven games (averaged 19.7 vs. 15.8 reg season) and grabbed more boards in six as well (11.0 vs. 8.2) and shot 50% from the floor. Basically he completely raised his game in a big spot, which is something I'm not sure he's ever done - or at least not very often. I have a feeling KG, Jesus Shuttlesworth, and Pierce know this is probably their last shot since they all have been worn down like a porn star when she hits age 30. Time for one last shot at glory, no reason to hold back now. I also predict if they get bounced at some point KG loses his mind a decks somebody - probably Rondo.
WHO SUCKED
1. Jason Marquis. We all saw this coming, right? I know it only cost $3 million or whatever, but what exactly was the point? What was his upside? He hasn't hit 150 innings since 2009, hasn't finished a year with an ERA under four since 2004, and gives up almost as many base runners as Nick Blackburn over the course of their careers. Then he missed spring training, as understandable as that was, and jesus what a disaster. An ERA of 8.47 and WHIP of 1.94 in his seven Twins' starts, which really shouldn't have been a surprise considering his performance in three starts after being traded to Arizona late last year, where he actually put up worse numbers than he did for the Twins (ERA 9.53, WHIP 2.29). I know the Twins have a tendency to try to grab guys who are looked at as old and mediocre and sign them on the cheap and hope they get solid production, but lately it always seems to be a Marquis or a Tony Bautista or a Nishioka, and I can't remember the last time they hit on somebody but I'm gonna say Chili Davis. That was 100 years ago. That was the same year Dahmer was arrested and the Super Nintendo was released. That's how long it's been since the Twins made a really good free agent signing (although Willingham seems promising at this point). Chicks who were born that year can now go out and get drunk legally. Kinda hot, now that you mention it.
2. Hakeem Nicks. Hakeem Nicks is one of my favorite receivers. In our keeper league I took him with the 3rd overall pick his rookie year and everyone was like dude what? and I was like, this guy is going to be a rock star. And mostly I was right. He's easily one of the most talented receivers in the entire NFL, and has put up over 1,000 yards each of the last two years. But there's a minor problem - he's always hurt. He has yet to play a full season (14, 13, and 15 games in his three years) and although he hasn't ever come up with a major injury that's kept him out an extended period of time he's always freaking dinged up to the point where you never know if you can put him in your lineup until like, right up until the game when they announce he's going to play and if he plays Monday night you end up starting somebody else like Mike Sims-Walker instead you sucks and then Nicks does well and you lose. Sucks. And now he's got a broken foot (suffered at an offseason workout for god's sake) and could be out up to 12 weeks which I'm not really sure when that is but it seems like it won't affect the season but whatever. He's pissing me off. I'm gonna trade him now. If you're in my league and read this blog please ignore this entry and pretend I wrote something about Jamey Carroll instead.
3. Chicago Cubs. I heard something on the radio about how the Cubs won today and it was like their first win in the last 10 games. Then I just looked it up and they did win today, but this was actually their first win in 13 games so it was even worse, which is kind of funny but makes sense because the Cubs suck and are still paying Alfonso Soriano ten trillion dollars and I can't guarantee it but I bet they're still on the hook for Zambrano as well. So yeah, they're really bad. Until today they hadn't scored more than four runs in nine straight games, which included four games with 1 or 0 runs. Earlier this week the Cubs had 10 hits in a game against Pittsburgh but managed to not have an extra base hit and got shutout. They also lost a game on a hit-by-pitch in the bottom of the ninth. Things aren't going well. But this will happen when you're counting on Brian LaHair as your clean-up hitter and Paul Maholm features prominently in your rotation. Oh who am I kidding, I'd kill for Maholm on the Twins right now. He'd be the freaking ace.
4. Joe Blanton. I've always disliked Joe Blanton and routinely bet against him. He looks like a fat baby, he has one of those goatee things that's all shaggy but doesn't have the mustache part, and he's a right-handed junkballer with shitty stuff who can't break 90 but won a lot of games when the A's were good despite terrible stats and everybody thought he was good because most people are morons and now he's making $8 million per year. And then it almost kind of looked like he had maybe figured it out this year with an ERA under 3 and at least 6 innings pitched in six of seven starts this year. Then this week happened. In games against St. Louis and Boston he never made it out of the fifth with a combined statline of 8.2 ips, 19 hits, 13 earned runs, and 6 homers to balloon his ERA to a much more Blanton-like 4.55. It's kind of creepy how much better I feel now.
5. Oakland A's. I'm a Billy Beane fan and I mostly think the "moneyball" related criticisms of him are pretty ridiculous, but I just have no idea what that team is doing, and now they've lost six straight (including one to the Twins lolololol) and have gone 4-10 to suddenly drop off the map. Mostly I'm just confused with how they're handling pitching. Why trade Trevor Cahill when he's only 24 and looking like a future 2/3 type? Why trade Gio Gonzalez at age 26? Why trade Josh Outman (age 27) and Guillermo Moscoso (age 27) for Seth Smith who completely sucks? Cahill and Gonzalez, especially, and they had just hit arbitration so they weren't looking at the big-time expensive franchise killing contracts yet (Mauer -> hi). Beane used to make turning vets into prospects into an art form, but the A's won because Giambi, Tejada, Chavez, Hudson, Zito, Mulder, etc. were able to mature into great players before they were shipped out. Seems now like those same types of guys are getting moved before they even have a chance to develop. Can't win that way. Moneyball? More like Stupidball, amiright?
Showing posts with label Joe Blanton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joe Blanton. Show all posts
Monday, May 28, 2012
Friday, December 17, 2010
California Love
Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west, a state that's untouchable like Elliot Ness
The track hits your eardrum like a slug to your chest, pack a vest for your jimmy in the city of sex.
By the way, that means I'm in Los Angeles for work. Which also means I couldn't attend nor watch the Gopher game last night, but it looks like the Gophers went with their standard operating procedure of sucking for the majority of the game and falling behind to a far inferior opponent, and then turning it on in the second half to cruise to a win that looks a lot easier than it really was. That's all well and good, but if they are still doing that crap once the Big Ten season gets underway it's going to get ugly in a hurry. Maybe Nolen can fix all that, maybe not. We're going to find out.
- No real exciting meals to report. Well, actually I had one of the best burgers in the history of burgerdom last night at a place in Hollywood called Lucky Devils. Kobe Beef burger (medium) with lettuce, onions, and some kind of home made secret sauce. Outstanding. And the rosemary garlic fries were out of this world. Although I think Elk, who I am out here with, made the best call of the night (besides the restaurant) going with the Diablo burger, which was a spicy version of what I had. I had a chance to try their hot sauce and it was really, really good. I should have ordered that.
Later in the evening we hit up an establishment called the Pig and Whistle for a couple after-dinner drinks and ended up having one with a Michael Jackson impersonator - unless it was really him and the whole "death" thing was a sham. Stranger things have happened. Or not really, I guess. That would be pretty strange. In any case it was a bit of an unusual occurrence. But now I'm in the room with nothing but a few Coors Light silos to keep me company, so let's see what things are going on.
- Jesse Crain to the White Sox, huh? And Guerrier to the Dodgers, but that doesn't interest me nearly as much since Crain is going to the most hated rival in the world. They pretty clearly overpaid, but Crain showed just enough in the second half of last year when he started using that slider all the time where I'm pretty nervous to be facing him in the division. Will he give up tap measure home runs? Of course. But the first time they bring him in to face the Twins in the 8th and he shuts them down 1-2-3 I'm going to die a little inside.
- And speaking of free agents, this Cliff Lee to the Phillies thing is really unfair. I know the Giants won the series this year with a combination of insane pitching and Buster Posey and that's it, but the Phillies actually have an offense. Howard is going to hit 40 bombs, Victorino has developed into one hell of a hitter, and Utley and Rollins are great hitters for their positions, even if they were a bit off last year. I know Werth is gone, but it doesn't really matter who plays left or center or third or whoever the hell their catcher is. And their only going to have score 2-3 runs a game to win most of the time, and they won't even need a bullpen because Halladay and Lee are just going to pitch complete games every time out anyway. Halladay, Lee, and Oswalt are all in the top 14 in active complete game leaders, and that includes ancients like Tim Wakefield and Jamie Moyer. Actually, Halladay is 33, and amongst pitchers 33 or younger they rank 1, 5, and 6. Ridiculous and basically just unfair. The over/under for their season wins is going to be like 110.
- Oh, and if the Twins trade for Joe freaking Blanton and his Nick Blackburn-like career 1.34 WHIP I'm going to drive down there and maim somebody. Why make a trade for a fifth starter when he's worse than whoever you call up from triple A? Come on geniuses, don't be stupid.
- Of course, this is not my first time in Los Angeles for work. Prior to this I was introduced to the weirdness of everybody in the city trying to get a movie produced, and before that I was lucky enough to become good friends with Larry David and learned a little about women. L.A. is weird, but I always have a good time. Plus, I was in a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that time with my good friend Larry. You can actually see my bald spot in the scene. I'm famous.
- Interesting week in college hoops so far. Three teams who I don't think anybody was super sure what to make of (Louisville, Tennessee, and UNLV) all went on big runs early, picked up huge wins (Louisville over UNLV, Tennessee over Pitt, and UNLV over Wisconsin and Va Tech), got themselves highly ranked (Tenn #7, UNLV #20 , L'Ville #20) and then all crashed and burned this week. Louisville got beat at home by Drexel, Tennessee got beat at home by Oakland, and UNLV by Santa Barbara. But no real worries, because they're all still better than Gonzaga who is an absolute nightmare right now. They're going to end up scrambling to even sniff an at-large bid.
- In case you're wondering what's going with the world's worst shooting guard, Scottie Reynolds was picked 13th in the first round of the NBDL draft by Tulsa, who then immediately shipped him off in a trade to get of his stink. Since play began he ranks 19th in scoring (behind guys like Pat Ewing Jr. and Roderick Wilmont), and 19th in assists (behind guys like Curtis Stinson and Luke Jackson). Nicely done.
- Speaking of the NBDL draft, other picks of interest:
First Round: Alan Anderson (Mich State like 100 years ago), Robert Vaden (UAB), Magnum Rolle (LA Tech - love this guy).
Third Round: Lawrence Westbrook (averaging 7 pts, 2 rebs, 2 asts per game with Maine)
Fourth Round: Derek Raivio (Gonzaga, the living clone of the Professor)
Fifth Round: Daniel Horton (Michigan, this guy sucked)
And that's it. Every year I think there's going to be a bunch of funny in this draft, and every year it turns out I've only heard of a handful of guys. And I know way too much about college ball to not know who this many guys are. So where are these guys coming from? Some secret basketball concentration camp? This is bullshit.
- John Shurna tonight: 28 pts, 4 rebs, 2 assists, 3 steals, 3 blocks, 1 turnover. That's 64 fantasy points, baby. And guess whose got 'em?
- Shelden Williams is still in the NBA? What the hell? The guy's offensive game rivals Miles Tarver and his defensive game is what I imagine Blake Hoffarber would look like if he was taller and blacker.
- You ever just sit around wondering who the top scoring Big Ten college basketball players would be in a Bi g Ten fantasy league (pt = 1pt, reb = 2 pt, assist = 3 pt, block or steal = 4 pt, turnover = -2 pts)? Well wonder no more. The top ten in our league:
1. Jon Leuer, Wisconsin
2. Darius Morris, Michigan
3. Trevor Mbakwe, Minnesota
4. Jordan Taylor, Wisconsin
5. Blake Hoffarber, Minnesota
6. Draymond Green, Michigan State
7. Jared Sullinger, Ohio State
8. JaJuan Johnson, Purdue
9. Demetri McCamey, Illinois
10. E'Twaun Moore, Purdue
It's worth noting I have none of those people, and also - not coincidentally - I'm the only team that's 0-2 thus far. Also props to Snacks, Bogart, Snake, Dawger, Elk, Grandslam, and Optimator. I sent an email one random morning asking if anybody wanted to do fantasy Big 10 hoops, and by that afternoon we were in round 3 of the draft. Nice work, gentleman.
- By the way, yes, that's Blake Hoffarber at #5. He's having a hell of a year. 14.8 points per game (13th in the B10), 4.9 assists (3rd. THIRD!!), 3.5 rebounds (39th), and 1.7 steals (5th, and wow) all while shooting 40% from three (leading the conference in both makes and attempts) and turning it over just 1.6 times per game despite being the defacto main ball handler. Actually, he's been efficient enough on offense to rank #63 in kenpom.com's offensive efficiency ranking, which may not sound that great but keep in mind there are 340-some teams and this ranking includes all those dudes from smaller conferences who dominate. In terms of Big Ten players, he ranks behind just Jon Diebler, John Shurna, Jordan Hulls of Indiana, and Jordan Taylor. Combine fantasy points, which shows he's putting up numbers, and efficiency rating, which shows he's, well, efficient, and you could make a case for him to be behind just Taylor as the most valuable player in the Big Ten this year. I can't believe I just typed that sentence. I'm now going to pull my fingers off with bolt cutters. Which I just happen to have here in the hotel room.
The track hits your eardrum like a slug to your chest, pack a vest for your jimmy in the city of sex.
By the way, that means I'm in Los Angeles for work. Which also means I couldn't attend nor watch the Gopher game last night, but it looks like the Gophers went with their standard operating procedure of sucking for the majority of the game and falling behind to a far inferior opponent, and then turning it on in the second half to cruise to a win that looks a lot easier than it really was. That's all well and good, but if they are still doing that crap once the Big Ten season gets underway it's going to get ugly in a hurry. Maybe Nolen can fix all that, maybe not. We're going to find out.
- No real exciting meals to report. Well, actually I had one of the best burgers in the history of burgerdom last night at a place in Hollywood called Lucky Devils. Kobe Beef burger (medium) with lettuce, onions, and some kind of home made secret sauce. Outstanding. And the rosemary garlic fries were out of this world. Although I think Elk, who I am out here with, made the best call of the night (besides the restaurant) going with the Diablo burger, which was a spicy version of what I had. I had a chance to try their hot sauce and it was really, really good. I should have ordered that.
Later in the evening we hit up an establishment called the Pig and Whistle for a couple after-dinner drinks and ended up having one with a Michael Jackson impersonator - unless it was really him and the whole "death" thing was a sham. Stranger things have happened. Or not really, I guess. That would be pretty strange. In any case it was a bit of an unusual occurrence. But now I'm in the room with nothing but a few Coors Light silos to keep me company, so let's see what things are going on.
- Jesse Crain to the White Sox, huh? And Guerrier to the Dodgers, but that doesn't interest me nearly as much since Crain is going to the most hated rival in the world. They pretty clearly overpaid, but Crain showed just enough in the second half of last year when he started using that slider all the time where I'm pretty nervous to be facing him in the division. Will he give up tap measure home runs? Of course. But the first time they bring him in to face the Twins in the 8th and he shuts them down 1-2-3 I'm going to die a little inside.
- And speaking of free agents, this Cliff Lee to the Phillies thing is really unfair. I know the Giants won the series this year with a combination of insane pitching and Buster Posey and that's it, but the Phillies actually have an offense. Howard is going to hit 40 bombs, Victorino has developed into one hell of a hitter, and Utley and Rollins are great hitters for their positions, even if they were a bit off last year. I know Werth is gone, but it doesn't really matter who plays left or center or third or whoever the hell their catcher is. And their only going to have score 2-3 runs a game to win most of the time, and they won't even need a bullpen because Halladay and Lee are just going to pitch complete games every time out anyway. Halladay, Lee, and Oswalt are all in the top 14 in active complete game leaders, and that includes ancients like Tim Wakefield and Jamie Moyer. Actually, Halladay is 33, and amongst pitchers 33 or younger they rank 1, 5, and 6. Ridiculous and basically just unfair. The over/under for their season wins is going to be like 110.
- Oh, and if the Twins trade for Joe freaking Blanton and his Nick Blackburn-like career 1.34 WHIP I'm going to drive down there and maim somebody. Why make a trade for a fifth starter when he's worse than whoever you call up from triple A? Come on geniuses, don't be stupid.
- Of course, this is not my first time in Los Angeles for work. Prior to this I was introduced to the weirdness of everybody in the city trying to get a movie produced, and before that I was lucky enough to become good friends with Larry David and learned a little about women. L.A. is weird, but I always have a good time. Plus, I was in a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that time with my good friend Larry. You can actually see my bald spot in the scene. I'm famous.
- Interesting week in college hoops so far. Three teams who I don't think anybody was super sure what to make of (Louisville, Tennessee, and UNLV) all went on big runs early, picked up huge wins (Louisville over UNLV, Tennessee over Pitt, and UNLV over Wisconsin and Va Tech), got themselves highly ranked (Tenn #7, UNLV #20 , L'Ville #20) and then all crashed and burned this week. Louisville got beat at home by Drexel, Tennessee got beat at home by Oakland, and UNLV by Santa Barbara. But no real worries, because they're all still better than Gonzaga who is an absolute nightmare right now. They're going to end up scrambling to even sniff an at-large bid.
- In case you're wondering what's going with the world's worst shooting guard, Scottie Reynolds was picked 13th in the first round of the NBDL draft by Tulsa, who then immediately shipped him off in a trade to get of his stink. Since play began he ranks 19th in scoring (behind guys like Pat Ewing Jr. and Roderick Wilmont), and 19th in assists (behind guys like Curtis Stinson and Luke Jackson). Nicely done.
- Speaking of the NBDL draft, other picks of interest:
First Round: Alan Anderson (Mich State like 100 years ago), Robert Vaden (UAB), Magnum Rolle (LA Tech - love this guy).
Third Round: Lawrence Westbrook (averaging 7 pts, 2 rebs, 2 asts per game with Maine)
Fourth Round: Derek Raivio (Gonzaga, the living clone of the Professor)
Fifth Round: Daniel Horton (Michigan, this guy sucked)
And that's it. Every year I think there's going to be a bunch of funny in this draft, and every year it turns out I've only heard of a handful of guys. And I know way too much about college ball to not know who this many guys are. So where are these guys coming from? Some secret basketball concentration camp? This is bullshit.
- John Shurna tonight: 28 pts, 4 rebs, 2 assists, 3 steals, 3 blocks, 1 turnover. That's 64 fantasy points, baby. And guess whose got 'em?
- Shelden Williams is still in the NBA? What the hell? The guy's offensive game rivals Miles Tarver and his defensive game is what I imagine Blake Hoffarber would look like if he was taller and blacker.
- You ever just sit around wondering who the top scoring Big Ten college basketball players would be in a Bi g Ten fantasy league (pt = 1pt, reb = 2 pt, assist = 3 pt, block or steal = 4 pt, turnover = -2 pts)? Well wonder no more. The top ten in our league:
1. Jon Leuer, Wisconsin
2. Darius Morris, Michigan
3. Trevor Mbakwe, Minnesota
4. Jordan Taylor, Wisconsin
5. Blake Hoffarber, Minnesota
6. Draymond Green, Michigan State
7. Jared Sullinger, Ohio State
8. JaJuan Johnson, Purdue
9. Demetri McCamey, Illinois
10. E'Twaun Moore, Purdue
It's worth noting I have none of those people, and also - not coincidentally - I'm the only team that's 0-2 thus far. Also props to Snacks, Bogart, Snake, Dawger, Elk, Grandslam, and Optimator. I sent an email one random morning asking if anybody wanted to do fantasy Big 10 hoops, and by that afternoon we were in round 3 of the draft. Nice work, gentleman.
- By the way, yes, that's Blake Hoffarber at #5. He's having a hell of a year. 14.8 points per game (13th in the B10), 4.9 assists (3rd. THIRD!!), 3.5 rebounds (39th), and 1.7 steals (5th, and wow) all while shooting 40% from three (leading the conference in both makes and attempts) and turning it over just 1.6 times per game despite being the defacto main ball handler. Actually, he's been efficient enough on offense to rank #63 in kenpom.com's offensive efficiency ranking, which may not sound that great but keep in mind there are 340-some teams and this ranking includes all those dudes from smaller conferences who dominate. In terms of Big Ten players, he ranks behind just Jon Diebler, John Shurna, Jordan Hulls of Indiana, and Jordan Taylor. Combine fantasy points, which shows he's putting up numbers, and efficiency rating, which shows he's, well, efficient, and you could make a case for him to be behind just Taylor as the most valuable player in the Big Ten this year. I can't believe I just typed that sentence. I'm now going to pull my fingers off with bolt cutters. Which I just happen to have here in the hotel room.
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