Saturday, May 26, 2012

Oh, Hello

Oh, hello.

So, I think this is actually happening.  DWG and I got drunk at Duke's in Oakdale?  Maplewood?  Somewhere around used to be Beer Belly's or Sargent Peppers or something.  Anyway, we talked about joining forces and he actually remembered it and sent me an invite.

I guess we're doing this shit.
The cool thing about me agreeing to do this is my life partner, Swan, was out of the country.  So, I'm totally cheating on him right now.  Is there any coincidence that Sting's"If You Love Somebody Set Them Free" is playing on music choice channel 422 right now?  Case closed.

So, I think I need to start with a Twins post because DWG's pie-in-the-sky trade scenarios are brutal and really, trades aren't how this team is going to get better at this point.  Obviously, if you ca2n rape some poor dumb bastard by giving them Capps, you do it.  That shit isn't happening though.  There are a couple of easy fixes that have to lead the way.  To whit:

1) Change the way you look at drafting pitchers.  The Twins kind of went out of their realm by taking Kyle Gibson, who is a pitcher with big time stuff, but unfortunately he went down with Tommy John surgery or we'd be look at him in the rotation right now.  The Twins have this thing where they value poise and control over anything.  It's time to throw that shit out the window.  Brad Radke is not walking through that door.  They need to abandon this polished, under control, safe pitcher for a some of these guys that can be explosive.  It's time to try hitting some home runs, Willie Banks style.

I'd draft you, long time.

2) Get rid of Joe Vavra and get a real hitting coach.  Ever notice how we bring up young players and they're totally unprepared.  Hell, ever notice how you know how the opposing pitcher is likely to work against THE ENTIRE TEAM; yet nobody makes an adjustment?  I mean, WTF.  THEY'RE GOING TO THROW YOU A LOT OF SLIDERS, DUM-DUMS.

3) This thing is going to need a total pitching re-load.  Getting guys like PJ Walters and Scott Diamond are good tries, even though they aren't upside guys. However, they also need to get some horses that aren't 37, like Carl Pavano.  I was for throwing 4 years and 40 million at Edwin Jackson.  He's not a stud, but in the grand scheme of starting pitching, he's worth it.  He signed a one year deal with Washington this year, so they have a chance to do that again.  He has a 3.38 ERA through 9 starts, btw.  With a ridiculously low WHIP.

4) Get a little more spendy.  Here's the deal; we cut the payroll this year.  I can understand this because the free agent market was mostly poo.  So, there weren't many mid-level bargains beyond Willingham and Doumit, who they landed.  And that rocks.  I had this dream of Yoenis Cespedes going to the Twins and after looking at the deal the A's got him for; we're going to be sad that we didn't get in there.

Mauer is a sunk cost.  No one will trade for him at this point and we made a Mauer-proof stadium, which is pretty genius.  Morneau is quickly working his way to earning some money.  Maybe the poor Canuck will give us a discount since his brain is broken.  Pavano isn't worth the cost, so he either gives a deal or goes to the Orioles.  The payroll is lower than the year prior, by like $15MM.  So, go out there and get a couple of dudes already.


WWWWWW said...

I'm already obsolete.

snacks said...

This new guy sucks

Loretta8 said...

Agreed, snacks.

I say trade Tre and a 30 pack for SSF and a tofu related snack to be named later.

Trevor Wegner said...

Haters get the gas face.