Tuesday Talkers

Well my derby picks didn't exactly work out, but Mrs. W randomly picked the winner, "I'll Have Another", probably because she's a raging alcoholic and that brought in some dough.  Which, naturally, she immediately assumes is hers and has already been trying to figure out what to buy with it.  Funny how that works.  When I win and make a withdrawal, she's buys something.  When she wins and I don't make a withdrawal, she's buys something.  Frankly as long as she keeps reading that book I don't much care what else she does.  In any case, sorry for the shitty derby picks.  Here's some other thoughts on what's going on.

-  Gopher dream transfer Trent Lockett picked Marquette over the Gophers, and it appears that your favorite team was never really in the mix.  Whether it's because Lockett had no interest (understandable), Tubby and no interest (ridiculous), or simply because they didn't have a scholarship (come on), from what I can tell from very limited research he never even considered the U.  It's too bad because he would have been the second or third best player on the team depending on where you want to slot Dre Hollins, but if the Gophers were going to lose a player (well kind of) losing one on the wing was the way to go.  They should have enough perimeter guys to get them through, but this puts a ton of extra pressure on the Hollins twins.  Assuming Mbakwe is healthy (yes a big assumption) it's going to be on those two how good/how far this Gopher team can go.  Well, them and Charles Buggs, the next Hakim Warrick/JaJuan Johnson.  Give it time.  Love has patience.

-  Sticking with college basketball, inside sources have confirmed for me that Butler is moving to the Atlantic-10, which is a great move for both parties.  Butler gets to step up and challenge itself with programs like Xavier and Temple (assuming they're not moving because frankly I can't keep up with all the moves), while the A-10 grabs another marquee school (I know they weren't last year, but back-to-back Final Fours says a lot).  Apparently the A-10 is also looking to grab VCU and George Mason out of the Colonial, and that pretty much has to vault them ahead of the Mountain West for basketball power, doesn't it?  Certainly Conference USA if they weren't there already, and possibly even the Pac-10 the way things are going lately.  Crazy basketball world.    Next thing you know San Diego State will be in the Big East.

-  I know, I should talk Twins but they suck worse than Woody Allen movies.  I mean, all these people are in the lineup tonight:  Komatsu (I literally have no idea who this is, where's Ben Revere?), Brian Dozier, Danny Valencia, Trevor Plouffe, Drew Butera, and Jamey Carroll.  How many of those guys are big league hitters?  Valencia and Plouffe combined make one?  Honestly how many Twins could you even write anything positive about this year?  Span (for being a good leadoff guy), Willingham (for not completely tanking after his hot start), and Doumit (for doing exactly what he's supposed to - be average at everything with average defense at 3 positions)?  I mean for fuck's sake they were just praising Mauer for hitting a double - a double that was a blooper down the left field line (yes I'm actually watching the game, but just until Mrs. W is out of the shower because she won't watch this garbage and they're way too shitty for me to go all the way downstairs to watch.) 

I guess the bullpen has been better than expected because three guys are having good years out of there (Burton, Gray, Burnett), but you Burnett and at least one of those other two is going to go back to sucking, the most important reliever (Capps) might be the worst one in the pen not named Maloney, and pretty much all of this is moot because the Twins have to have the worst rotation in all of baseball.  And there's no hope for the future.  None.  The only possible prayer is the Twins' knock this upcoming draft out of the park with a bunch of college players who are going to be close to ready and can get here before Morneau and Mauer are completely washed up, because you know damn well the Twins are stuck with those two for the rest of their careers because nobody else is going to overpay to that extent.  A terrible present and a non-existent future.  This is exactly how the Wolves used to feel.  I guess the Twins need a Rubio in this draft.  What would that be, some kind of pitcher with studly stuff who makes the game fun to watch?  Yeah, I'd take that.  Thanks for nothing, Kyle Gibson.  But apparently this team completely owns Dan Haren, which makes total sense.

-  Staying with baseball for a moment, did you see my boyfriend Cole Hamels got suspended for five games for admitting to intentionally hitting Brian Harper's dickhead kid?  And here's how it went down - Hamels plunked him in the back, not the head or anywhere, but the back - the most accepted place to hit someone intentionally.  Harper went to first without a look, without a glance, without a reaction (which was kind of surprising because unlike his dad I thought he was kind of a dick).  Then later Hamels comes up and Jordan Zimmerman hits Cole in the leg, to which he just jogs down to first without a look or reaction.  Hard-nosed baseball where all parties understand exactly what's going on.  But because Hamels admitted it he gets rung for five games (which for a starting pitcher means 1 game but still).  What about Zimmerman, shouldn't he get a game too?  It's all so stupid.  I'm not a big whiner about the "pussification of America" since I think football and surfing should be outlawed as too dangerous, but this is so stupid.  If somebody hits a dude in the head then yeah, hammer him.  But this was harmless.  Hamels should pitch in a skirt next time.  If nothing else it'd be kinda hot.

-  Last baseball thing quick.  I was following a Mets' game the other night due to a wager I made (3 actually, and I won all 3 so suck it) and these were some Met players:  Kirk Nieuwenheis, Andres Torres, Josh Thole, Justin Turner, Ruben Tejada, Mike Baxter, and Mike Nickeas.  Those are all batters.  I'm in a pretty deep fantasy baseball league and regularly play baseball player prop bets so I know players quite well even in the NL, and I'm only vaguely familiar with a couple of those guys.  That team may be more messed up than the Twins, and they have more money (although most of it is wrapped up in Jason Bay lolololol oh wait Twins/Mauer right).  Actually bite my tongue because apparently when your recreations all involve following players you sometimes miss shit like the Mets are 17-13.  I'm not going to go sever my own limbs with a chainsaw and then drown myself in my own blood. 

That was pretty morbid.  Go Twins.