-11 minutes - So why not drink some booze and live blog, am I right? Watching the Iowa State vs. Kansas game right now. Great game.
-9 minutes - On a scale of 1-think the Big Bang Theory isn't nerdy enough, how nerdy is it that I just watched this:
-7 minutes - So real quick since we have some time let me just mention how ridiculous the Hall of Fame voting crap was this year with nobody getting in. Are you guys kidding me? The worst part is you know they think they're taking some kind of stand or making a statement, when in reality they're just being a bunch of pussies. The worst part? As pointed out by Loretta8 from Sippin' on Purple - Bonds and Clemens finished with a different amount of votes. One is the all-time home run leader, the other won 7 Cy Young Awards. They're both no-brainer first ballot inductees - unless you are against voting in steroid guys (aka completely ignoring the 90s) in which case they both are at the same level of guilt and should both stay out. One way or the other. This means somebody voted for one, but not the other guy. Makes zero sense. They need to revamp the whole system, and I hate saying that because I really don't know how to make it better. To start, how about kicking out all the idiots.
-4 minutes - Seriously, even if you don't want to vote in anybody you remotely suspect of steriods (and, by the way, I've never heard Piazza linked to roids) how do you not elect Craig Biggio? The stats are there and I'm pretty sure nobody suspects him of steroid use. Or elect Tim Raines for christ's sake. He's the second best leadoff hitter of all-time. At some point I may have to do a post on Raines - or at least link to one - because the guy absolutely has the numbers to be in Cooperstown. And you know he wasn't on steroids because he was too busy being high on cocaine.
-2 minutes - This Iowa State game needs to end before the Gopher game starts. Hurry up already.
20:00 - A banked in three for Kansas? You gotta be joshing me. Welp, on to the Gopher game.
20:00 - Being good kind of sucks. It was much easier watching these games when I knew they were going to lose.
20:00 - What's Egwu doing in there, he doesn't even shoot threes?
19:48 - Paul with a very tough three point attempt (and missed). You can have that all game, guys.
19:04 - Another bad three early in the shot clock. Please keep doing this, Illini.
17:41 - Illinois doing a good job keeping the Gophers off the offensive glass, which we can tell already because they've missed like, a billion shots already.
16:53 - Announcer guy FYI - D.J. Richardson is not a "sharp shooter." Gopher offense is so bad right now I'm afraid Tubby might go with the line change offense.
16:18 - Brandon Paul called for the charge after dunking over Mbakwe - announcers don't seem to realize that is, indeed, an offensive foul so who cares about the dunk part. I feel like these guys might be the death of me. Gophers down 4-3, but there have been as many shots already as there were in the entire first half of the Northwestern game.
15:44 - Wait a minute. How can a basket count on a made dunk with a charge called? By definition the ball was still in Paul's hand, which by definition means the basket doesn't count. Jesus this is like re-writing the rules of math. It's not like you can just change PI to be equal to 3.14158. My god people.
14:29 - Gopher defense has been good, forcing Illinois into tough shots, other than the two dunks that is, and doing a good job on the boards. Gophers just not converting opportunities except for just now with Coleman on a dunk in transition. More transition please.
13:25 - Rodney for 3? I guess if they aren't going to challenge it he's going to have to prove he can hit it. Big shot as far as rest of the game implications go.
12:12 - Dre hits a three to answer a Richardson three. Richardson's came early in the shot clock with a hand in his face, Dre's came mid-shot clock and was wide open. Gophers are going to win this game, you guys.
11:29 - Complete second unit in for the Gophers. Great. And Elliason travels 35 feet from the bucket. I know why he does this, so he can play the good players the entire second half, but I still don't like it. Gophers down 13-11 right now, let's hope it stays close to that number while these clowns run down the shot clock again and again.
10:18 - Gopher turnover, Illinois three, Gopher turnover.
9:52 - Welch guarding Paul. God save us all.
9:32 - Offensive foul on Elliason. That's three straight turnovers by him. Effing brilliant.
9:00 - Is there anything more terrifying than Maverick in transition? For Gopher fans, I mean.
7:56 - TV timeout coming with Illinois up 16-15. Good job by the second unit. And by good job, I mean good job on defense (for real) with absolutely brutal offense until Mbakwe came in for Elliason, with Trevor scoring all four points.
7:42 - Wow. Mbakwe with the drive from the top of the key, makes a lefty layup and is fouled. That was an NBA second round draft pick play right there. Free throw to tie? Good.
6:45 - Coleman goes for a monster dunk and gets fouled but it's not called, good job attacking the rim though. Pretty sure Dan just pulls up for a 16 footer there.
5:47 - Great defensive rotations forcing the Illini into bad shots, leading to transition opportunities leading to back-to-back dunks by Coleman and Mbakwe. Gophers up four.
4:53 - More bad shots, more transition opportunities, more Gopher dunks.
4:17 - Good one-on-one move by Bertand to hit a jumper, answered by a three-pointer by Austin Hollins off a good pass by Andre in transition.
3:57 - D.J. Richardson has got to be one of the more disappointing big 10 players I can remember. Tons of fan fare and hype and in four years he's become nothing more than a jump shooter. Of course, it's tough when you have to play for the worst couch in the world.
2:08 - Illinois getting (and hitting) a shit ton of free throws, keeping this close at 31-27 Gophers. Illinois just terrible from three right now, but a lot of it is the Gopher defense. In general the Illini aren't missing open shots, but contested ones.
1:25 - Hollins (Austin) for three, followed by an Illini miss, followed by Andre Ingram throwing a pass into the 8th row. I really think Andre Ingram is very promising for a sophomore.
0:47 - Paul actually gets an open look and drains it. Then Ingram travels. We're going to have to go Iron Five.
0:00 - 34-30 Gophers at the half. Excellent job. Gopher defense is playing awesome, and as long as they keep that up and keep getting transition opportunities they're going to win this game.
0:00 - Holy crap the Lakers are a mess. Spurs up 101-85 with seven minutes left.
19:13 - Illinois still taking dumb shots as Paul goes for the contested running floater (and misses).
18:33 - Paul swatted by Rodney on a contested turnaround jumper, which leads to a wide open three for Austin Hollins (who misses) which leads to an offensive rebound which leads to a lay-up (and foul) for Mbakwe. Free throw good. That sequence was a microcosm of this game.
17:53 - Richardson step back 18 footer early in the shot clock. So dumb.
16:54 - Gopher ball up 39-30. Looking for a dagger. Looking at you, Austin.
16:17 - How about a 40 footer with teh shot clock at two that banks in for Dre who I'm not even sure looked at the hoop? How about that?
14:52 - Illinois with a couple buckets in the paint to cut it to 44-36 Gophers. I hope they haven't figured out this "get good shots" thing.
14:11 - Another lay-up for Illinois, time-out Gophers. Gotta keep 'em out of the paint and keep making them take those contested jumpers they love so much.
12:33 - Illini cut it to 2 with like their fourth straight basket in the paint. I liked it better when they were stupid. Also Mo Walker in the game is killing everything.
11:54 - Austin Hollins steal leads to a dunk for Coleman, and then a Dre Hollins steal leads to an intentional foul by Illinois. Also, I'm having a heart attack.
11:54 - I think I'm supposed to try to be funny but I'm just way too into the game. If you want to laugh just listen to Nickelback or Coldplay or something.
11:41 - Dre hits both free throws and then nails a three. Thank god for Dre. Like Eminem said, you can't forget about Dre. *streetcred*
11:09 - Shit, Paul into the lane, fouled and hits the shot. STOP PLAYING SMART ILLINOIS.
10:50 - "Ahanmisi getting ready to check-in." Cry.
10:28 - Another Illinois lay-up, defense has gone to shit.
9:38 - Coleman for three? Great play by Rodney to find him. And again Illinois gets to the lane and draws a foul. This needs to stop.
9:12 - Time for Welch to shine here with four fouls on Andre Hollins already. I'm fine with him on offense, but very scared on defense.
8:38 - Gophers switch to a zone leading to an absolutely terrible three point miss by Paul, leading to a dunk by Rodney and a 58-47 Gopher lead. I love dumb teams.
7:09 - Paul into the lane and misses when he could have kicked it out to a teammate for an open three, leads to a transition lay-up for Coleman and a 60-49 lead. I feel like I'm typing the same thing over and over again. Also fearing this is a pretty worthless live blog for the reader, but what do you care it's saving you from having to think about actually doing work.
6:42 - Bertand goes one-on-one for about 10 dribbles then misses a contested turnaround. I know I keep pointing it out but I can't get over how dumb this team is.
5:43 - Could have done without the easy dunk. On Coleman, naturally.
5:24 - He pays it back by blowing by his defender for a lay-up. Incredible game for Coleman.
4:45 - Coleman with ANOTHER three. And Dre Hollins just checked in and picked up his fourth foul, which means earlier when I thought he had four he only had three which means I have no idea why he was ever taken out of the game.
3:33 - Gophers up 13 (another Coleman dunk) and I can still barely breathe.
3:04 - Sloppy turnover. Oh yeah, that's why.
2:52 - Richardson airballs a three (contested, of course) which reminds me why I probably CAN breathe.
2:30 - I know the game isn't over yet (Gophers up 72-59) but man is this team good. Their defense is incredible. Watching their rotations on defense was the most impressive part of the game, and that's a game when Coleman scored 25 (as of now). Those who didn't watch or didn't pay attention may call this a fluky bad shooting night by the Illini, but the Gophers had everything to do with that. Then look at the offense where they have five guys who could put up 20 on any given night? This team is for real, kids.
1:48 - I can't believe Illinois missed another contested three-pointer, you guys.
1:16 - Brandon Paul lay-up. Basically uncontested since the Gophers are up by 12 (after that).
0:30 - Coleman playing some serious suckhole, now up to 29 points after a couple easy dunks.
0:09 - Dre with a three as the shot clock winds down becasue why not. 84-67 Final. Crazy, dudes. I'll maybe have more on this game tomorrow if I don't get lazy
Showing posts with label pussies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pussies. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Wednesday Wonderings
I was going to do a statistic-laced post about the candidates for the Twins' rotation next year, but my computer kept shutting itself down due to depression so instead I'll just do that thing where I type whatever I think about. I'll eventually get to the Twins' rotation because I've already put in too much time to just let it die, but man, looking at Cole Devries and P.J. Walters in the same night is a nightmare not even Poe could have come up with.
- So Stephen Strasburg is officially shut-down now after 159 innings because he had a rough last outing, which really hurts the Nationals chances in the playoffs and is just, weird. I understand the thinking behind the move, I just don't think it's the right plan. Simply getting to the playoffs is damn hard, so when you have a chance at a special year I don't think it makes a whole lot of sense to jeopardize that when you don't even know if there's any actual benefit to doing so.
In the playoffs everybody will bump up one spot, which means the extra starts - assuming four starters - will go to Ross Detwiler instead of Strasburg. Detwiler's a nice little pitcher - 3.23 ERA, 1.19 WHIP - nice. But he strikes out half as many batters as Stras while walking the same amount, he's gotten a little bit lucky this year while Strasburg has gotten a tiny bit unlucky (BABIP-wise), and Detwiler throws three average pitches while Strasburg has three above average ones. I suppose when you end up replacing your ace with your #4 you could a lot worse than Detwiler, but man, Strasburg. Strasburg, man, Strasburg.
Honestly, is this the worst possible way they could have handled this? If you're firmly committed to that 160-180 innings limit, however misguided, why wouldn't you at least make an attempt to maximize your value out of it? Don't just keep running him out there every fifth day because you know come early September you've just run out of your best bullets (armor piercing, exploding, acid tipped, whatever). Why not skip a few starts? Why not go with a six-man rotation? You could even go with a four man rotation and then slot him in just when you need another arm. Or hell, spot start him part of the time and then use him in relief here and there. Manage him so you have innings left for him in the playoffs, even if they're just bullpen innings. Game 7, World Series: would you rather start Strasburg or Detwiler? Or how about Game 7, leading 3-2, 8th inning and your opponent has a man on second with zero outs - Strasburg or Craig Stammen? Ugh. I'd be so frustrated if I were a Nats fan, but then again I heard from some dude on the radio today that everybody in Washington is buying into this crap, so I guess they deserve what they get. I hope Detwiler gets completely rocked.
- I'm not generally one to make excuses for the University of Minnesota because it's more fun to just rip on stuff, but I had a conversation with some co-workers today that kind of made me think a little bit. Think about all the cities that have all four major sports, like we do: Boston, Chicago, Denver, Dallas, Detroit, Miami, New York, Philly, Phoenix, San Fran, and D.C. And look at the most successful college sports program in that same city: Boston College, Northwestern, U of Denver, Southern Methodist, Detroit-Mercy, U of Miami, St. John's, Villanova/Temple, Arizona State, Cal-Berkeley, Georgetown. Now looking at that list, and considering success in ALL college sports, who'd you rather be than the University of Minnesota? Miami and Cal, right? Maybe B.C.? Obviously St. John's and Georgetown are better in hoops, but they don't even have football teams I don't think.
So maybe, just maybe, I'm a little too hard on the teams. After all, most college powers are located in some butthole town in the middle of nowhere so the population has really no choice but to spend all it's money and fan points on the college. It's also how mini-cults like State College and the like happen, so I'm not saying that's a good thing, but it certainly gives you an idea of why the Gophers struggle at times. Oh god, I don't even know who I am anymore. Look away, I'm hideous.
- I'm watching this show Suburgatory for the first time and there's this chick on there named Jane Levy who is an absolute dead-ringer for Emma Stone, both appearance and line delivery-wise, which is totally awesome because I'm madly in love with Emma Stone and now there are two of her which doubles my odds. Actually, two of her makes that pairing a contender for my dream threesome. It's either those two, Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley, or Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake.
- I'm sure I had lots of important stuff to say but then I got distracted by Real World and booze and so here we are.
- So Stephen Strasburg is officially shut-down now after 159 innings because he had a rough last outing, which really hurts the Nationals chances in the playoffs and is just, weird. I understand the thinking behind the move, I just don't think it's the right plan. Simply getting to the playoffs is damn hard, so when you have a chance at a special year I don't think it makes a whole lot of sense to jeopardize that when you don't even know if there's any actual benefit to doing so.
In the playoffs everybody will bump up one spot, which means the extra starts - assuming four starters - will go to Ross Detwiler instead of Strasburg. Detwiler's a nice little pitcher - 3.23 ERA, 1.19 WHIP - nice. But he strikes out half as many batters as Stras while walking the same amount, he's gotten a little bit lucky this year while Strasburg has gotten a tiny bit unlucky (BABIP-wise), and Detwiler throws three average pitches while Strasburg has three above average ones. I suppose when you end up replacing your ace with your #4 you could a lot worse than Detwiler, but man, Strasburg. Strasburg, man, Strasburg.
Honestly, is this the worst possible way they could have handled this? If you're firmly committed to that 160-180 innings limit, however misguided, why wouldn't you at least make an attempt to maximize your value out of it? Don't just keep running him out there every fifth day because you know come early September you've just run out of your best bullets (armor piercing, exploding, acid tipped, whatever). Why not skip a few starts? Why not go with a six-man rotation? You could even go with a four man rotation and then slot him in just when you need another arm. Or hell, spot start him part of the time and then use him in relief here and there. Manage him so you have innings left for him in the playoffs, even if they're just bullpen innings. Game 7, World Series: would you rather start Strasburg or Detwiler? Or how about Game 7, leading 3-2, 8th inning and your opponent has a man on second with zero outs - Strasburg or Craig Stammen? Ugh. I'd be so frustrated if I were a Nats fan, but then again I heard from some dude on the radio today that everybody in Washington is buying into this crap, so I guess they deserve what they get. I hope Detwiler gets completely rocked.
- I'm not generally one to make excuses for the University of Minnesota because it's more fun to just rip on stuff, but I had a conversation with some co-workers today that kind of made me think a little bit. Think about all the cities that have all four major sports, like we do: Boston, Chicago, Denver, Dallas, Detroit, Miami, New York, Philly, Phoenix, San Fran, and D.C. And look at the most successful college sports program in that same city: Boston College, Northwestern, U of Denver, Southern Methodist, Detroit-Mercy, U of Miami, St. John's, Villanova/Temple, Arizona State, Cal-Berkeley, Georgetown. Now looking at that list, and considering success in ALL college sports, who'd you rather be than the University of Minnesota? Miami and Cal, right? Maybe B.C.? Obviously St. John's and Georgetown are better in hoops, but they don't even have football teams I don't think.
So maybe, just maybe, I'm a little too hard on the teams. After all, most college powers are located in some butthole town in the middle of nowhere so the population has really no choice but to spend all it's money and fan points on the college. It's also how mini-cults like State College and the like happen, so I'm not saying that's a good thing, but it certainly gives you an idea of why the Gophers struggle at times. Oh god, I don't even know who I am anymore. Look away, I'm hideous.
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| This is me. |
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| It's like a slice of heaven. Red-headed, smart, sarcastic, sexy heaven |
Thursday, August 16, 2012
I'm Back Now
What's up, nerds? I've been in Denver this past week to visit Snacks, Mrs. Snacks, and new Baby Snacks and as such kept getting too drunk to post at night. But now I'm back. First, a few things about Denver:
1. We went to a Rockies' game at Coors Field and I was impressed. Very nice stadium, especially considering how old it is (relatively). It reminded me quite a bit of the newer stadiums I've been too, including Target Field, but considering the Rockies' came into existence in 1993 and it went up a few years later, I was impressed. Even more impressive was the security. We had two tickets in their club level and two normal poor people tickets, so the plan was for me and the Mrs. to go into the club, then I'd go out with both tickets and get Snacks, then Mrs. W would go out and get Mrs. Snacks and everybody wins except for the Rockies. The same scam Dawger used to get us into the Legends' Club at Target Field that worked flawlessly. One problem - at Coors they're on the lookout for it.
When you go into the Club area they stamp the back of your ticket, and when you leave they stamp your hand. Then when you try to get back in you can either show your stamp or you need an unstamped ticket. If you have a stamped ticket but no stamp on your hand they won't let you back in. Actually, Snacks managed to sweet talk his way in, but Mrs. Snacks was unable too. So we all just went and sat somewhere else because nobody was there anyway because the Rockies totally blow. Also Cuddyer didn't play that night which sucked because I wanted to be able to say I've booed him at two different parks for two different teams. Ah well.
The other problem with Coors, besides the fun-hating, is that if you want to get a Rockies' shirt with one of their guy's names on the back you have almost zero options. The only guys they had were Carlos Gonzalez, Tulowitzki, the manager, the mascot, or Giambi who I'm not even sure is on the team anymore. I realize they're pretty faceless as a team and all, but when you can get an Alexei Casilla shirt at Target Field you'd think the Rocks would be a little more generous with the choices.
2. Denver is right up there with Portland when it comes to homeless people, to the point where we could play the classic game, "Hippie or homeless" that we invented last time we were in Portland. I'd give Denver the edge with the homeless dudes, but Portland wins for most hippies. In both cities they're littered around the place to the point where you have to be careful you don't trip over anybody who is either passed our or sleeping on the ground. Common denominators? Horrid college basketball programs and a massive love of weed. Drugs ruin lives, kids. You'll either end up drunk under a bridge with a sign begging for money and claiming you're a veteran of some war or sleeping on the sidewalk with those weird holes in your ears wearing a knitted poncho and carrying around a skateboard. Choose wisely.
3. Denver was seemingly constructed by someone playing Sim City, and not just anyone but a child with severe ADD. You can drive down a street and have some really nice bars next to some scary bars where you'd get murdered if you looked at them for too long. Pretty much the same thing with houses - mansions next to houses that might actually currently be on fire. Nothing makes sense. A "long-term stay" business hotel a block from a Walgreen's in a neighborhood so bad the hotel clerk tells you "I wouldn't walk there." A knock-off of Grand Avenue, but without any bars. It was just weird and never made sense. The only area I saw that made sense was the "Bail Bonds District", which was an intersection with seven different bail bonds places (no joke, seven.) Normally you might feel a bit uneasy in that kind of neighborhood, but never fear because less than a block down was a restaurant that served things like duck liver mousse and escargot. Bizarre. Decent town, I had a lot of fun, but really kind of just ok.
And that's that. Now for a couple real quick sports things because man am I tired:
1. I kind of understand why the Nationals are planning on shutting Strasburg down when he hits 180 innings. I completely disagree with it, however. You're taking a positive (having Strasburg all year and for the playoffs) and eliminating it based on the fear of a negative (future arm issues for Strasburg). I'm not 100% sure but I'm fairly certain there is no correlation between Tommy John surgery and future injuries, and Strasburg's surgery was basically two full years ago at this point, and it's generally said it takes 1 year to get back to normal. His velocity is pretty close to what it was pre-surgery (pre = 97.3, current = 95.8) and although he's throwing his curve less it's been more effective - so yes, he's pretty much the same pitcher. Smarter people and better writers than me (which is pretty much everybody) have tackled this already so I won't dwell on it, but it seems to me he's just as likely to get injured in his first Spring Training start next year, a random start in Mid-July next season, or at some point this year. This is the opposite of taking a gamble - it's playing it safe to the extreme. It's like having a 3-to-1 chip lead in a poker tournament and offering a 50/50 chop. It's like getting 11 against a 6 in blackjack and not doubling down. Horrid.
And if you're dead set on limiting him to 180 innings, why not skip a start earlier in the season here and there? If you'd skipped a random start here or there vs. the Padres or Rockies or other shitty team he might still have 60-70 innings left instead of 40. Or use him out of the bullpen. Or do something. By any metric you look at he and Gio Gonzalez have been the two most valuable players for the Nats this year, and Gio's probably been a little bit lucky while Stras is Stras. I just don't get it. How many shots do you really get at the playoffs? Even if the future looks bright there's a billion things that could go wrong and this could be Washington's one and only shot. And they're going to go into it without their best weapon. Sad. I almost hope Strasburg gets hurt early next year, but then I wouldn't get to watch him so I really don't. Just almost.
- I don't really want to talk Twins, so I won't much, but even if the lineup looks pretty much set already for next year (barring a trade of Morneau or Span) I'm very curious to see how the rotation turns out. I mean, from 2-9 you have Mauer, Morneau, Carroll, Plouffe, Dozier, Willingham, Span, and Revere with Doumit your likely DH (along with M&M). For better of for worse, that's probably what we're seeing next season. They may sign a cheap free agent to help the middle infield like Jeff Keppinger (I would approve of this) or Maicer Izturis (I would not) or maybe some hitting type depth like Ty Wigginton (pass) or Ryan Spilborghs (omg gross) but basically that's your lineup. The pitching though?
Lots of candidates. Scott Baker will get a hell of a lot less interest as a free agent than he would have if he had, you know, pitched this year. I can't see the Twins picking up his option at $9 million, but I can see them trying to resign him on the cheap so he could be back. Pavano will hopefully not be around unless they can get him for super cheap, which again, may be possible since he's been injured nearly all year. Nick Blackburn sucks donkey balls, but seeing as the Twins' are on the hook for $5.5m next year he's going to get every opportunity to be in the rotation. Then you've got the young guys: Scott Diamond (best pitcher on the team this and should be in the rotation next year for sure), Sam Deduno (his numbers mask how shitty he's actually been, but there is some potential here), P.J. Walters (remember when he had those couple good starts?), Cole DeVries (perfectly fits the teams no-walks no-Ks mandate), and Liam Hendriks (please god no). Not to mention guys who have mainly been in the bullpen with starting experience in their past (Swarzak, Manship, Waldrop) and hopeful prospects (Gibson), guys picked up in trades (Pedro Hernandez), retreads (Luke French who the Twins apparently have), and guys I've never heard of (everyone at New Britain right now).
Let's be clear - it's a platter full of crap no doubt, but other than Scott Diamond nobody is guaranteed to be in the rotation next year. You have four other spots and 13 possibilities (Baker, Pavano, Blackburn, Deduno, Walters, DeVries, Hendriks, Swarzak, Manship, Waldrop, Gibson, Hernandez, and French) not to mention a bunch of question marks at AA and the possibility the Twins sign a shitty free agent as per usual (Derek Lowe? Joe Saunders? - both fit their shitty philosophy perfectly). Free Agent wise your best (realistic) scenario is they find a way to sign Brandon McCarthy to a team friendly contract. Worst case they sign one of the above dudes. Actually worst case is they sign Dice-K, but I can't imagine even this team is that misguided. It's a mess, but at least it's an interesting mess. Or that's what I'm telling myself. You have to be able to get a couple good pitchers out of 13 candidates, right? Please?
- Lastly, can somebody help me out with the Luck vs. Robert Griffin III debate? Luck started for three very productive years setting the single season and all-time records in the Pac-10 for completion percentage winning a dickload of awards (including two Hesiman runner-ups) and basically setting every Stanford record ever for a QB. He also did it while running a pro-style offense under the tutelage of a former NFL QB, already known as a cerebral player, who then came in and made Alex Smith suddenly understand how to be an NFL QB, and did it while (in his senior season at least) basically calling all his own plays at the line like a second Peyton Manning.
Griffin won Big 12 freshman of the year in 2008 before missing 2009 with an injury, then had two awesome years culminating in a Heisman winning season in 2011 running the same offense under the same coach NFL superstars Case Keenum and Kevin Kolb ran in putting up insane numbers in college. I get why Griffin is so tempting, particularly after Cam Newton's early season success, but if Newton doesn't get out to that hot start is Griffin even considered a rival to Luck at #1? Everyone seems to point to his athleticism and runnability as to why he's so fascinating as a franchise player and granted his 4.41 forty-yard dash is a record for QBs and the 39 inch vertical is impressive, but he's not that far ahead of Luck, who ran a 4.67, had a 36 inch vertical, and actually beat RG3 in the broadjump at 10-4 vs. 10-0. Actually Luck's measurables were very similar to Newtons (4.67 vs. 4.59, 36 inch vert vs. 35, and 10-4 vs. 10-6) and Luck's said to be a far better passer and the kind of guy who already understands the game at a veteran type level.
I'm not saying Griffin will be a bust, I'm just saying anyone comparing him to Luck is delusional at best. And no I'm not just saying this as a fantasy smokescreen. I'm taking Luck, assuming he's there for me.
1. We went to a Rockies' game at Coors Field and I was impressed. Very nice stadium, especially considering how old it is (relatively). It reminded me quite a bit of the newer stadiums I've been too, including Target Field, but considering the Rockies' came into existence in 1993 and it went up a few years later, I was impressed. Even more impressive was the security. We had two tickets in their club level and two normal poor people tickets, so the plan was for me and the Mrs. to go into the club, then I'd go out with both tickets and get Snacks, then Mrs. W would go out and get Mrs. Snacks and everybody wins except for the Rockies. The same scam Dawger used to get us into the Legends' Club at Target Field that worked flawlessly. One problem - at Coors they're on the lookout for it.
When you go into the Club area they stamp the back of your ticket, and when you leave they stamp your hand. Then when you try to get back in you can either show your stamp or you need an unstamped ticket. If you have a stamped ticket but no stamp on your hand they won't let you back in. Actually, Snacks managed to sweet talk his way in, but Mrs. Snacks was unable too. So we all just went and sat somewhere else because nobody was there anyway because the Rockies totally blow. Also Cuddyer didn't play that night which sucked because I wanted to be able to say I've booed him at two different parks for two different teams. Ah well.
The other problem with Coors, besides the fun-hating, is that if you want to get a Rockies' shirt with one of their guy's names on the back you have almost zero options. The only guys they had were Carlos Gonzalez, Tulowitzki, the manager, the mascot, or Giambi who I'm not even sure is on the team anymore. I realize they're pretty faceless as a team and all, but when you can get an Alexei Casilla shirt at Target Field you'd think the Rocks would be a little more generous with the choices.
2. Denver is right up there with Portland when it comes to homeless people, to the point where we could play the classic game, "Hippie or homeless" that we invented last time we were in Portland. I'd give Denver the edge with the homeless dudes, but Portland wins for most hippies. In both cities they're littered around the place to the point where you have to be careful you don't trip over anybody who is either passed our or sleeping on the ground. Common denominators? Horrid college basketball programs and a massive love of weed. Drugs ruin lives, kids. You'll either end up drunk under a bridge with a sign begging for money and claiming you're a veteran of some war or sleeping on the sidewalk with those weird holes in your ears wearing a knitted poncho and carrying around a skateboard. Choose wisely.
3. Denver was seemingly constructed by someone playing Sim City, and not just anyone but a child with severe ADD. You can drive down a street and have some really nice bars next to some scary bars where you'd get murdered if you looked at them for too long. Pretty much the same thing with houses - mansions next to houses that might actually currently be on fire. Nothing makes sense. A "long-term stay" business hotel a block from a Walgreen's in a neighborhood so bad the hotel clerk tells you "I wouldn't walk there." A knock-off of Grand Avenue, but without any bars. It was just weird and never made sense. The only area I saw that made sense was the "Bail Bonds District", which was an intersection with seven different bail bonds places (no joke, seven.) Normally you might feel a bit uneasy in that kind of neighborhood, but never fear because less than a block down was a restaurant that served things like duck liver mousse and escargot. Bizarre. Decent town, I had a lot of fun, but really kind of just ok.
And that's that. Now for a couple real quick sports things because man am I tired:
1. I kind of understand why the Nationals are planning on shutting Strasburg down when he hits 180 innings. I completely disagree with it, however. You're taking a positive (having Strasburg all year and for the playoffs) and eliminating it based on the fear of a negative (future arm issues for Strasburg). I'm not 100% sure but I'm fairly certain there is no correlation between Tommy John surgery and future injuries, and Strasburg's surgery was basically two full years ago at this point, and it's generally said it takes 1 year to get back to normal. His velocity is pretty close to what it was pre-surgery (pre = 97.3, current = 95.8) and although he's throwing his curve less it's been more effective - so yes, he's pretty much the same pitcher. Smarter people and better writers than me (which is pretty much everybody) have tackled this already so I won't dwell on it, but it seems to me he's just as likely to get injured in his first Spring Training start next year, a random start in Mid-July next season, or at some point this year. This is the opposite of taking a gamble - it's playing it safe to the extreme. It's like having a 3-to-1 chip lead in a poker tournament and offering a 50/50 chop. It's like getting 11 against a 6 in blackjack and not doubling down. Horrid.
And if you're dead set on limiting him to 180 innings, why not skip a start earlier in the season here and there? If you'd skipped a random start here or there vs. the Padres or Rockies or other shitty team he might still have 60-70 innings left instead of 40. Or use him out of the bullpen. Or do something. By any metric you look at he and Gio Gonzalez have been the two most valuable players for the Nats this year, and Gio's probably been a little bit lucky while Stras is Stras. I just don't get it. How many shots do you really get at the playoffs? Even if the future looks bright there's a billion things that could go wrong and this could be Washington's one and only shot. And they're going to go into it without their best weapon. Sad. I almost hope Strasburg gets hurt early next year, but then I wouldn't get to watch him so I really don't. Just almost.
- I don't really want to talk Twins, so I won't much, but even if the lineup looks pretty much set already for next year (barring a trade of Morneau or Span) I'm very curious to see how the rotation turns out. I mean, from 2-9 you have Mauer, Morneau, Carroll, Plouffe, Dozier, Willingham, Span, and Revere with Doumit your likely DH (along with M&M). For better of for worse, that's probably what we're seeing next season. They may sign a cheap free agent to help the middle infield like Jeff Keppinger (I would approve of this) or Maicer Izturis (I would not) or maybe some hitting type depth like Ty Wigginton (pass) or Ryan Spilborghs (omg gross) but basically that's your lineup. The pitching though?
Lots of candidates. Scott Baker will get a hell of a lot less interest as a free agent than he would have if he had, you know, pitched this year. I can't see the Twins picking up his option at $9 million, but I can see them trying to resign him on the cheap so he could be back. Pavano will hopefully not be around unless they can get him for super cheap, which again, may be possible since he's been injured nearly all year. Nick Blackburn sucks donkey balls, but seeing as the Twins' are on the hook for $5.5m next year he's going to get every opportunity to be in the rotation. Then you've got the young guys: Scott Diamond (best pitcher on the team this and should be in the rotation next year for sure), Sam Deduno (his numbers mask how shitty he's actually been, but there is some potential here), P.J. Walters (remember when he had those couple good starts?), Cole DeVries (perfectly fits the teams no-walks no-Ks mandate), and Liam Hendriks (please god no). Not to mention guys who have mainly been in the bullpen with starting experience in their past (Swarzak, Manship, Waldrop) and hopeful prospects (Gibson), guys picked up in trades (Pedro Hernandez), retreads (Luke French who the Twins apparently have), and guys I've never heard of (everyone at New Britain right now).
Let's be clear - it's a platter full of crap no doubt, but other than Scott Diamond nobody is guaranteed to be in the rotation next year. You have four other spots and 13 possibilities (Baker, Pavano, Blackburn, Deduno, Walters, DeVries, Hendriks, Swarzak, Manship, Waldrop, Gibson, Hernandez, and French) not to mention a bunch of question marks at AA and the possibility the Twins sign a shitty free agent as per usual (Derek Lowe? Joe Saunders? - both fit their shitty philosophy perfectly). Free Agent wise your best (realistic) scenario is they find a way to sign Brandon McCarthy to a team friendly contract. Worst case they sign one of the above dudes. Actually worst case is they sign Dice-K, but I can't imagine even this team is that misguided. It's a mess, but at least it's an interesting mess. Or that's what I'm telling myself. You have to be able to get a couple good pitchers out of 13 candidates, right? Please?
- Lastly, can somebody help me out with the Luck vs. Robert Griffin III debate? Luck started for three very productive years setting the single season and all-time records in the Pac-10 for completion percentage winning a dickload of awards (including two Hesiman runner-ups) and basically setting every Stanford record ever for a QB. He also did it while running a pro-style offense under the tutelage of a former NFL QB, already known as a cerebral player, who then came in and made Alex Smith suddenly understand how to be an NFL QB, and did it while (in his senior season at least) basically calling all his own plays at the line like a second Peyton Manning.
Griffin won Big 12 freshman of the year in 2008 before missing 2009 with an injury, then had two awesome years culminating in a Heisman winning season in 2011 running the same offense under the same coach NFL superstars Case Keenum and Kevin Kolb ran in putting up insane numbers in college. I get why Griffin is so tempting, particularly after Cam Newton's early season success, but if Newton doesn't get out to that hot start is Griffin even considered a rival to Luck at #1? Everyone seems to point to his athleticism and runnability as to why he's so fascinating as a franchise player and granted his 4.41 forty-yard dash is a record for QBs and the 39 inch vertical is impressive, but he's not that far ahead of Luck, who ran a 4.67, had a 36 inch vertical, and actually beat RG3 in the broadjump at 10-4 vs. 10-0. Actually Luck's measurables were very similar to Newtons (4.67 vs. 4.59, 36 inch vert vs. 35, and 10-4 vs. 10-6) and Luck's said to be a far better passer and the kind of guy who already understands the game at a veteran type level.
I'm not saying Griffin will be a bust, I'm just saying anyone comparing him to Luck is delusional at best. And no I'm not just saying this as a fantasy smokescreen. I'm taking Luck, assuming he's there for me.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Twins Remain Delusional, Make no Moves at Trade Deadline
Aargh this is frustrating. Once again, the Twins made no moves at the trade deadline (outside of the Liriano deal) despite being irrefutably out of playoff contention and having players other teams covet but who don't or shouldn't figure in the team's future plans - you know, the perfect combination to make a whole bunch of trades (see: Astros, Houston). Last season the team had Jason Kubel, Michael Cuddyer, and Joe Nathan (among others) who were all going to be free agents and all could have been traded away, yet none were. I was frustrated but understood the thinking at least, given that the Twins would receive a draft pick for each once they signed somewhere else - that isn't the case this year.
There were reports of team's after Denard Span, Justin Morneau, Josh Willingham, Jared Burton, and Glen Perkins, and there was absolutely no reason to hold on to Morneau or Burton (and maybe not Perkins either, depending on your opinion of his future). At this point the Twins need to realize they're at least two more years if not more away from contending and it's time to figure out who is going to be a part of this team when it comes back around, assuming it does, and then trade everybody else. Span is still a pure leadoff hitter, and although he and Revere are somewhat redundant he's also signed to a very team friendly deal through 2015 so there's no reason to trade him unless a deal knocks you on your ass, which apparently the Reds didn't do today - although if you could get Homer Bailey and a couple good prospects I'd have pulled the trigger. Willingham's kind of in the same boat, pretty much the team's only pure power hitter who is also signed to a great contract through 2014, so I get holding on to him too. But the rest?
Morneau has a big contract, owed $14 million next year and a pro-rated $14 for the rest of this year so it might be a litter tougher to get full value back, but it was reported the Dodgers, Giants, and Blue Jays were all after him, but the Twins were asking for too much back, including a major leaguer in return and having the team that received Morneau pick up his entire contract. Well guess what? If you can't get that this year you sure as shit aren't going to get it next year when he's just going to be a two month rental for some team. At least this year whatever team traded for him would get an entire year and change out of the deal. Now? They've basically gambled that he can get himself back to a $14 million a year player, at which point they won't be able to afford to resign him after his contract is up because they're hamstrung by the Mauer deal. Best case scenario at this point is he plays out of his mind, walks, and they get a pick. Well played, Terry Ryan.
And as for Burton and Perkins? They're relievers. Relievers pretty much grow on trees. Reports are the Rangers were going after Burton and that "Perkins was in high demand today." What? For what reason would you possibly hold on to middle relievers when you aren't a contender? Perkins, maybe, if you've decided he's your closer of the future (foolish, but it at least makes some sense) but Burton? The average lifespan of a middle reliever on a team is 1.2 years, a figure I completely made up but it sounds right. From year-to-year they're notoriously unreliable, and the odds Burton is on this team when they're back in contention are basically nil. It just doesn't make a lick of sense.
Who on this team might possibly matter in the future? Mauer, because they're stuck with him. Span, Revere, Willingham, Dozier, Plouffe, and Parmelee? I mean, I like Ryan Doumit quite a bit, but on a team like the Twins he's just a placeholder so if anybody comes sniffing around him (and it sounds like nobody did this year) he's another one who should be traded. Diamond's pretty much the only starter worth penciling in your 2014 rotation, and between their lack of value and youth they'll obviously hold on to guys like DeVries, Deduno, Walters, and Hendriks, but pretty much everybody else needs to go and if they don't trade Carl Pavano at the waiver deadline I'm going to start making Molotov Cocktails.
There's no point to being shitty with old, crappy players who are going to be out of the league by the time you stop sucking. The Astros have it figured out, trading Chris Johnson, Wandy Rodriguez, Brett Myers, Brandon Lyon, J.A. Happ, and Carlos Lee in the last month. Basically everybody they knew wasn't a key building block or had no chance of developing into one. The Pirates used this basic strategy for years, and are now in line to make the playoffs for the first time since Barry Bonds couldn't throw out Sid Bream. Their leadoff hitter for most of this season (Jose Tabata) and one of their starters (Jeff Karstens) were acquired for Damaso Marte and Xavier Nady in 2008, their second guy off the bench and super utility man was acquired from the Cubs for two middle relievers in 2009, two other starters were acquired in the Nate McLouth trade (Charlie Morton) and Octavio Dotel trade (James McDonald), and they got their closer (Joel Hanrahan) for Lastings Milledge when they gave up on him. They've also got great organizational depth thanks to the sheer volume of prospects and minor leaguers they've acquired. Of course, it also helps that they've nailed the draft recently (Pedro Alvarez, Andrew McCutchen, Neil Walker, Gerrit Cole, Jameson Taillon, Starling Marte) but the point stands.
And of course, what do Dick and Bert open up tonight's broadcast with? How glad they are nobody other than Liriano was traded. Honest to god I think I'd rather have Hawk Harrelson's over-the-top homer shtick than this aw shucks folksy we love these boys bullshit these two keep slingin'. No wonder the Twins' brass can get away with this, the announcers are feeding the fans this crap and they're eating it up based on what I've heard on the radio and read on the internet. It's like some sort of crazy collective delusion where everybody thinks this team is team is thisclose to being a contender again - like a cult like those Waco guys or the Mormons or Dyson Vacuum Cleaner Owners. Guess what, idiots? This is the worst version of the Twins we've seen in our lifetimes. FACT. The 1981 and 1982 editions were a worse combo than 2011 and 2012, but I was too young to care or even realize what was going on, and outside of then this is the worst two year stretch in team history. There is no quick fix. When you need to burn your house down for insurance money and then build a new, better house you don't run around swapping out a few chairs for equally shitty, but different chairs - you burn that mother down with gasoline and a bazooka. Like Beavis would.
There were reports of team's after Denard Span, Justin Morneau, Josh Willingham, Jared Burton, and Glen Perkins, and there was absolutely no reason to hold on to Morneau or Burton (and maybe not Perkins either, depending on your opinion of his future). At this point the Twins need to realize they're at least two more years if not more away from contending and it's time to figure out who is going to be a part of this team when it comes back around, assuming it does, and then trade everybody else. Span is still a pure leadoff hitter, and although he and Revere are somewhat redundant he's also signed to a very team friendly deal through 2015 so there's no reason to trade him unless a deal knocks you on your ass, which apparently the Reds didn't do today - although if you could get Homer Bailey and a couple good prospects I'd have pulled the trigger. Willingham's kind of in the same boat, pretty much the team's only pure power hitter who is also signed to a great contract through 2014, so I get holding on to him too. But the rest?
Morneau has a big contract, owed $14 million next year and a pro-rated $14 for the rest of this year so it might be a litter tougher to get full value back, but it was reported the Dodgers, Giants, and Blue Jays were all after him, but the Twins were asking for too much back, including a major leaguer in return and having the team that received Morneau pick up his entire contract. Well guess what? If you can't get that this year you sure as shit aren't going to get it next year when he's just going to be a two month rental for some team. At least this year whatever team traded for him would get an entire year and change out of the deal. Now? They've basically gambled that he can get himself back to a $14 million a year player, at which point they won't be able to afford to resign him after his contract is up because they're hamstrung by the Mauer deal. Best case scenario at this point is he plays out of his mind, walks, and they get a pick. Well played, Terry Ryan.
And as for Burton and Perkins? They're relievers. Relievers pretty much grow on trees. Reports are the Rangers were going after Burton and that "Perkins was in high demand today." What? For what reason would you possibly hold on to middle relievers when you aren't a contender? Perkins, maybe, if you've decided he's your closer of the future (foolish, but it at least makes some sense) but Burton? The average lifespan of a middle reliever on a team is 1.2 years, a figure I completely made up but it sounds right. From year-to-year they're notoriously unreliable, and the odds Burton is on this team when they're back in contention are basically nil. It just doesn't make a lick of sense.
Who on this team might possibly matter in the future? Mauer, because they're stuck with him. Span, Revere, Willingham, Dozier, Plouffe, and Parmelee? I mean, I like Ryan Doumit quite a bit, but on a team like the Twins he's just a placeholder so if anybody comes sniffing around him (and it sounds like nobody did this year) he's another one who should be traded. Diamond's pretty much the only starter worth penciling in your 2014 rotation, and between their lack of value and youth they'll obviously hold on to guys like DeVries, Deduno, Walters, and Hendriks, but pretty much everybody else needs to go and if they don't trade Carl Pavano at the waiver deadline I'm going to start making Molotov Cocktails.
There's no point to being shitty with old, crappy players who are going to be out of the league by the time you stop sucking. The Astros have it figured out, trading Chris Johnson, Wandy Rodriguez, Brett Myers, Brandon Lyon, J.A. Happ, and Carlos Lee in the last month. Basically everybody they knew wasn't a key building block or had no chance of developing into one. The Pirates used this basic strategy for years, and are now in line to make the playoffs for the first time since Barry Bonds couldn't throw out Sid Bream. Their leadoff hitter for most of this season (Jose Tabata) and one of their starters (Jeff Karstens) were acquired for Damaso Marte and Xavier Nady in 2008, their second guy off the bench and super utility man was acquired from the Cubs for two middle relievers in 2009, two other starters were acquired in the Nate McLouth trade (Charlie Morton) and Octavio Dotel trade (James McDonald), and they got their closer (Joel Hanrahan) for Lastings Milledge when they gave up on him. They've also got great organizational depth thanks to the sheer volume of prospects and minor leaguers they've acquired. Of course, it also helps that they've nailed the draft recently (Pedro Alvarez, Andrew McCutchen, Neil Walker, Gerrit Cole, Jameson Taillon, Starling Marte) but the point stands.
And of course, what do Dick and Bert open up tonight's broadcast with? How glad they are nobody other than Liriano was traded. Honest to god I think I'd rather have Hawk Harrelson's over-the-top homer shtick than this aw shucks folksy we love these boys bullshit these two keep slingin'. No wonder the Twins' brass can get away with this, the announcers are feeding the fans this crap and they're eating it up based on what I've heard on the radio and read on the internet. It's like some sort of crazy collective delusion where everybody thinks this team is team is thisclose to being a contender again - like a cult like those Waco guys or the Mormons or Dyson Vacuum Cleaner Owners. Guess what, idiots? This is the worst version of the Twins we've seen in our lifetimes. FACT. The 1981 and 1982 editions were a worse combo than 2011 and 2012, but I was too young to care or even realize what was going on, and outside of then this is the worst two year stretch in team history. There is no quick fix. When you need to burn your house down for insurance money and then build a new, better house you don't run around swapping out a few chairs for equally shitty, but different chairs - you burn that mother down with gasoline and a bazooka. Like Beavis would.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Tuesday Talkers
Well my derby picks didn't exactly work out, but Mrs. W randomly picked the winner, "I'll Have Another", probably because she's a raging alcoholic and that brought in some dough. Which, naturally, she immediately assumes is hers and has already been trying to figure out what to buy with it. Funny how that works. When I win and make a withdrawal, she's buys something. When she wins and I don't make a withdrawal, she's buys something. Frankly as long as she keeps reading that book I don't much care what else she does. In any case, sorry for the shitty derby picks. Here's some other thoughts on what's going on.
- Gopher dream transfer Trent Lockett picked Marquette over the Gophers, and it appears that your favorite team was never really in the mix. Whether it's because Lockett had no interest (understandable), Tubby and no interest (ridiculous), or simply because they didn't have a scholarship (come on), from what I can tell from very limited research he never even considered the U. It's too bad because he would have been the second or third best player on the team depending on where you want to slot Dre Hollins, but if the Gophers were going to lose a player (well kind of) losing one on the wing was the way to go. They should have enough perimeter guys to get them through, but this puts a ton of extra pressure on the Hollins twins. Assuming Mbakwe is healthy (yes a big assumption) it's going to be on those two how good/how far this Gopher team can go. Well, them and Charles Buggs, the next Hakim Warrick/JaJuan Johnson. Give it time. Love has patience.
- Sticking with college basketball, inside sources have confirmed for me that Butler is moving to the Atlantic-10, which is a great move for both parties. Butler gets to step up and challenge itself with programs like Xavier and Temple (assuming they're not moving because frankly I can't keep up with all the moves), while the A-10 grabs another marquee school (I know they weren't last year, but back-to-back Final Fours says a lot). Apparently the A-10 is also looking to grab VCU and George Mason out of the Colonial, and that pretty much has to vault them ahead of the Mountain West for basketball power, doesn't it? Certainly Conference USA if they weren't there already, and possibly even the Pac-10 the way things are going lately. Crazy basketball world. Next thing you know San Diego State will be in the Big East.
- I know, I should talk Twins but they suck worse than Woody Allen movies. I mean, all these people are in the lineup tonight: Komatsu (I literally have no idea who this is, where's Ben Revere?), Brian Dozier, Danny Valencia, Trevor Plouffe, Drew Butera, and Jamey Carroll. How many of those guys are big league hitters? Valencia and Plouffe combined make one? Honestly how many Twins could you even write anything positive about this year? Span (for being a good leadoff guy), Willingham (for not completely tanking after his hot start), and Doumit (for doing exactly what he's supposed to - be average at everything with average defense at 3 positions)? I mean for fuck's sake they were just praising Mauer for hitting a double - a double that was a blooper down the left field line (yes I'm actually watching the game, but just until Mrs. W is out of the shower because she won't watch this garbage and they're way too shitty for me to go all the way downstairs to watch.)
I guess the bullpen has been better than expected because three guys are having good years out of there (Burton, Gray, Burnett), but you Burnett and at least one of those other two is going to go back to sucking, the most important reliever (Capps) might be the worst one in the pen not named Maloney, and pretty much all of this is moot because the Twins have to have the worst rotation in all of baseball. And there's no hope for the future. None. The only possible prayer is the Twins' knock this upcoming draft out of the park with a bunch of college players who are going to be close to ready and can get here before Morneau and Mauer are completely washed up, because you know damn well the Twins are stuck with those two for the rest of their careers because nobody else is going to overpay to that extent. A terrible present and a non-existent future. This is exactly how the Wolves used to feel. I guess the Twins need a Rubio in this draft. What would that be, some kind of pitcher with studly stuff who makes the game fun to watch? Yeah, I'd take that. Thanks for nothing, Kyle Gibson. But apparently this team completely owns Dan Haren, which makes total sense.
- Staying with baseball for a moment, did you see my boyfriend Cole Hamels got suspended for five games for admitting to intentionally hitting Brian Harper's dickhead kid? And here's how it went down - Hamels plunked him in the back, not the head or anywhere, but the back - the most accepted place to hit someone intentionally. Harper went to first without a look, without a glance, without a reaction (which was kind of surprising because unlike his dad I thought he was kind of a dick). Then later Hamels comes up and Jordan Zimmerman hits Cole in the leg, to which he just jogs down to first without a look or reaction. Hard-nosed baseball where all parties understand exactly what's going on. But because Hamels admitted it he gets rung for five games (which for a starting pitcher means 1 game but still). What about Zimmerman, shouldn't he get a game too? It's all so stupid. I'm not a big whiner about the "pussification of America" since I think football and surfing should be outlawed as too dangerous, but this is so stupid. If somebody hits a dude in the head then yeah, hammer him. But this was harmless. Hamels should pitch in a skirt next time. If nothing else it'd be kinda hot.
- Last baseball thing quick. I was following a Mets' game the other night due to a wager I made (3 actually, and I won all 3 so suck it) and these were some Met players: Kirk Nieuwenheis, Andres Torres, Josh Thole, Justin Turner, Ruben Tejada, Mike Baxter, and Mike Nickeas. Those are all batters. I'm in a pretty deep fantasy baseball league and regularly play baseball player prop bets so I know players quite well even in the NL, and I'm only vaguely familiar with a couple of those guys. That team may be more messed up than the Twins, and they have more money (although most of it is wrapped up in Jason Bay lolololol oh wait Twins/Mauer right). Actually bite my tongue because apparently when your recreations all involve following players you sometimes miss shit like the Mets are 17-13. I'm not going to go sever my own limbs with a chainsaw and then drown myself in my own blood.
That was pretty morbid. Go Twins.
- Gopher dream transfer Trent Lockett picked Marquette over the Gophers, and it appears that your favorite team was never really in the mix. Whether it's because Lockett had no interest (understandable), Tubby and no interest (ridiculous), or simply because they didn't have a scholarship (come on), from what I can tell from very limited research he never even considered the U. It's too bad because he would have been the second or third best player on the team depending on where you want to slot Dre Hollins, but if the Gophers were going to lose a player (well kind of) losing one on the wing was the way to go. They should have enough perimeter guys to get them through, but this puts a ton of extra pressure on the Hollins twins. Assuming Mbakwe is healthy (yes a big assumption) it's going to be on those two how good/how far this Gopher team can go. Well, them and Charles Buggs, the next Hakim Warrick/JaJuan Johnson. Give it time. Love has patience.
- Sticking with college basketball, inside sources have confirmed for me that Butler is moving to the Atlantic-10, which is a great move for both parties. Butler gets to step up and challenge itself with programs like Xavier and Temple (assuming they're not moving because frankly I can't keep up with all the moves), while the A-10 grabs another marquee school (I know they weren't last year, but back-to-back Final Fours says a lot). Apparently the A-10 is also looking to grab VCU and George Mason out of the Colonial, and that pretty much has to vault them ahead of the Mountain West for basketball power, doesn't it? Certainly Conference USA if they weren't there already, and possibly even the Pac-10 the way things are going lately. Crazy basketball world. Next thing you know San Diego State will be in the Big East.
- I know, I should talk Twins but they suck worse than Woody Allen movies. I mean, all these people are in the lineup tonight: Komatsu (I literally have no idea who this is, where's Ben Revere?), Brian Dozier, Danny Valencia, Trevor Plouffe, Drew Butera, and Jamey Carroll. How many of those guys are big league hitters? Valencia and Plouffe combined make one? Honestly how many Twins could you even write anything positive about this year? Span (for being a good leadoff guy), Willingham (for not completely tanking after his hot start), and Doumit (for doing exactly what he's supposed to - be average at everything with average defense at 3 positions)? I mean for fuck's sake they were just praising Mauer for hitting a double - a double that was a blooper down the left field line (yes I'm actually watching the game, but just until Mrs. W is out of the shower because she won't watch this garbage and they're way too shitty for me to go all the way downstairs to watch.)
I guess the bullpen has been better than expected because three guys are having good years out of there (Burton, Gray, Burnett), but you Burnett and at least one of those other two is going to go back to sucking, the most important reliever (Capps) might be the worst one in the pen not named Maloney, and pretty much all of this is moot because the Twins have to have the worst rotation in all of baseball. And there's no hope for the future. None. The only possible prayer is the Twins' knock this upcoming draft out of the park with a bunch of college players who are going to be close to ready and can get here before Morneau and Mauer are completely washed up, because you know damn well the Twins are stuck with those two for the rest of their careers because nobody else is going to overpay to that extent. A terrible present and a non-existent future. This is exactly how the Wolves used to feel. I guess the Twins need a Rubio in this draft. What would that be, some kind of pitcher with studly stuff who makes the game fun to watch? Yeah, I'd take that. Thanks for nothing, Kyle Gibson. But apparently this team completely owns Dan Haren, which makes total sense.
- Staying with baseball for a moment, did you see my boyfriend Cole Hamels got suspended for five games for admitting to intentionally hitting Brian Harper's dickhead kid? And here's how it went down - Hamels plunked him in the back, not the head or anywhere, but the back - the most accepted place to hit someone intentionally. Harper went to first without a look, without a glance, without a reaction (which was kind of surprising because unlike his dad I thought he was kind of a dick). Then later Hamels comes up and Jordan Zimmerman hits Cole in the leg, to which he just jogs down to first without a look or reaction. Hard-nosed baseball where all parties understand exactly what's going on. But because Hamels admitted it he gets rung for five games (which for a starting pitcher means 1 game but still). What about Zimmerman, shouldn't he get a game too? It's all so stupid. I'm not a big whiner about the "pussification of America" since I think football and surfing should be outlawed as too dangerous, but this is so stupid. If somebody hits a dude in the head then yeah, hammer him. But this was harmless. Hamels should pitch in a skirt next time. If nothing else it'd be kinda hot.
- Last baseball thing quick. I was following a Mets' game the other night due to a wager I made (3 actually, and I won all 3 so suck it) and these were some Met players: Kirk Nieuwenheis, Andres Torres, Josh Thole, Justin Turner, Ruben Tejada, Mike Baxter, and Mike Nickeas. Those are all batters. I'm in a pretty deep fantasy baseball league and regularly play baseball player prop bets so I know players quite well even in the NL, and I'm only vaguely familiar with a couple of those guys. That team may be more messed up than the Twins, and they have more money (although most of it is wrapped up in Jason Bay lolololol oh wait Twins/Mauer right). Actually bite my tongue because apparently when your recreations all involve following players you sometimes miss shit like the Mets are 17-13. I'm not going to go sever my own limbs with a chainsaw and then drown myself in my own blood.
That was pretty morbid. Go Twins.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Six Very Important Things this Morning - 8.3.2010
1. Jeremy Hellickson had an awfully good debut. Nice outing for the rookie, even against a Twins lineup that didn't have Morneau or Mauer, but at least had 9 guys who aren't gigantic pussies. Seriously, has there ever been a team whose two best players missed this many games? The real M&M boys would be ashamed. Mickey Mantle drank a fifth of whiskey on a slow night and would regularly knock back enough to kill Nicolas Cage, washed it down with a couple big ole stogies, followed that up with a roll in the hay with some random broad, and then got two hours of sleep before rolling out of bed and going 2-4 with a home run. And everybody knows Roger Maris was functionally retarded, as is everyone from North Dakota, but he managed to have some of the better seasons of his era (and no, he's not a hall of famer. Don't be an idiot). Yet Morneau gets bumped in the head and Mauer is a little sore and they can't be bothered to play despite the team being in the middle of a good ole fashioned pennant race. Seriously pathetic. I say they trade them both. Except for Morneau.
2. The Big Ten is gonna make bank. With the Big 10 (11) changing to the Big 10 (12) next season, it also gains a championship game for football. This is good, because it's an extra game, and it's an extra game between two good teams (at least for the conference, not necessarily nationally - zing), so that means extra money. I read somewhere else that it would be approximately $5 million more bucks to the already cash-stuffed conference, which will also get a boost from adding Nebraska TV sets. If you click on the link and read the article there's a bunch more in there, but to be honest I got really bored and then scrolled down and it was way too long to keep reading.
3. The Reds are loaded with young pitching. Seriously, this team is going to be a serious NL contender for years with all the young stud arms, the latest example of which is Travis Wood, who tossed 7 innings of 2-hit ball last night, which isn't even his best outing of his seven career starts because he nearly tossed a perfect game in his third career time out, ending up with a one hitter. With him, Mike Leake (7-2, 3.57 ERA), Johnny Cueto (10-2, 3.32) they already have three guys under 25 who have shown they can do it and they still have Homer Baily (super talented but constantly injured), Edinson Volquez (recovering from injury but awesome when pre-injury), Aroldis Chapman (famous foreigner) and Matt Maloney who has only made two starts but has been solid (3.09 ERA, 1.11 WHIP). If you want to go deeper they have four other guys on John Sickels' top 20. I predict them to become a dynasty, but based on my history of predicting they're probably going to become the next Pirates.
4. So much for the Smoak monster. This happened over the weekend, but I didn't get around to mentioning it ever and I figured I should since I've been blowing so much Smoak about him: Justin Smoak was sent down from Seattle to AAA. I guess these days a .198 batting average and .624 OPS don't get you anything these days, what with all the politics and all. Seriously though, he's been successful in the minors, he's just 23 and in his third professional season, and he still shows good plate discipline (39 walks in 340 big league plate appearances). He'll be fine. Or he's the next Scott Stahoviak.
5. So much for that trade. Carlos Santana, rookie catcher, super stud, future star, the next Joe Mauer but less of a girl, non-guitar player or Rob Thomas collaborator, guy who would lead the Majors in OPS for catchers if he had enough at-bats, and guy I just MOTHER FUCKING TRADED FOR in fantasy baseball on Sunday ended up leaving the Indians' game last night with an apparent leg injury after Ryan Kalish of the Red Sox, who doesn't matter now and will never matter, barreled into him on a play at the plate. The best part of that article is the end, where they make sure you know that "Television replays showed his left leg buckled." Awesome. He was on my team for less than 24 hours. Wait, no. I mean this is a terrible blow to baseball and Cleveland and this poor young man's career or something else less selfish.
6. Is Miami-Dade the new convict U? I'll assume you are all aware of Trevor Mbakwe and his legal woes, and if you're not I think you're in the wrong place (unless you like crappy SyFy movies, in which case stay tuned)), but his Miami-Dade teammate Darnell Dodson is now in a bit of a pickle at Kentucky. Well maybe not a pickle, since there doesn't seem to be any definitive information out there, but John Calipari announced that Dodson will not be playing for Kentucky this season, although he seems to be academically ineligible. Apparently there has been some friction between Calipari and Dodson, so this isn't a huge surprise, but it could hurt the Wildcats since Dodson was their #1 three-point shooter last year. Of course, since basically the entire team turned pro, we don't really have any idea what their strenghts and weaknesses are next season. Although I feel comfortable saying a strenth will be sliminess and a weakness will be ethics.
By the way, dickmittens, start paying attention. I've now had two people who I know read this blog regularly say something like, "oh, you're on Twitter?" Yes, idiots. Look at the text bar at the very top of the screen. And then go sign up.
2. The Big Ten is gonna make bank. With the Big 10 (11) changing to the Big 10 (12) next season, it also gains a championship game for football. This is good, because it's an extra game, and it's an extra game between two good teams (at least for the conference, not necessarily nationally - zing), so that means extra money. I read somewhere else that it would be approximately $5 million more bucks to the already cash-stuffed conference, which will also get a boost from adding Nebraska TV sets. If you click on the link and read the article there's a bunch more in there, but to be honest I got really bored and then scrolled down and it was way too long to keep reading.
3. The Reds are loaded with young pitching. Seriously, this team is going to be a serious NL contender for years with all the young stud arms, the latest example of which is Travis Wood, who tossed 7 innings of 2-hit ball last night, which isn't even his best outing of his seven career starts because he nearly tossed a perfect game in his third career time out, ending up with a one hitter. With him, Mike Leake (7-2, 3.57 ERA), Johnny Cueto (10-2, 3.32) they already have three guys under 25 who have shown they can do it and they still have Homer Baily (super talented but constantly injured), Edinson Volquez (recovering from injury but awesome when pre-injury), Aroldis Chapman (famous foreigner) and Matt Maloney who has only made two starts but has been solid (3.09 ERA, 1.11 WHIP). If you want to go deeper they have four other guys on John Sickels' top 20. I predict them to become a dynasty, but based on my history of predicting they're probably going to become the next Pirates.
4. So much for the Smoak monster. This happened over the weekend, but I didn't get around to mentioning it ever and I figured I should since I've been blowing so much Smoak about him: Justin Smoak was sent down from Seattle to AAA. I guess these days a .198 batting average and .624 OPS don't get you anything these days, what with all the politics and all. Seriously though, he's been successful in the minors, he's just 23 and in his third professional season, and he still shows good plate discipline (39 walks in 340 big league plate appearances). He'll be fine. Or he's the next Scott Stahoviak.
5. So much for that trade. Carlos Santana, rookie catcher, super stud, future star, the next Joe Mauer but less of a girl, non-guitar player or Rob Thomas collaborator, guy who would lead the Majors in OPS for catchers if he had enough at-bats, and guy I just MOTHER FUCKING TRADED FOR in fantasy baseball on Sunday ended up leaving the Indians' game last night with an apparent leg injury after Ryan Kalish of the Red Sox, who doesn't matter now and will never matter, barreled into him on a play at the plate. The best part of that article is the end, where they make sure you know that "Television replays showed his left leg buckled." Awesome. He was on my team for less than 24 hours. Wait, no. I mean this is a terrible blow to baseball and Cleveland and this poor young man's career or something else less selfish.
6. Is Miami-Dade the new convict U? I'll assume you are all aware of Trevor Mbakwe and his legal woes, and if you're not I think you're in the wrong place (unless you like crappy SyFy movies, in which case stay tuned)), but his Miami-Dade teammate Darnell Dodson is now in a bit of a pickle at Kentucky. Well maybe not a pickle, since there doesn't seem to be any definitive information out there, but John Calipari announced that Dodson will not be playing for Kentucky this season, although he seems to be academically ineligible. Apparently there has been some friction between Calipari and Dodson, so this isn't a huge surprise, but it could hurt the Wildcats since Dodson was their #1 three-point shooter last year. Of course, since basically the entire team turned pro, we don't really have any idea what their strenghts and weaknesses are next season. Although I feel comfortable saying a strenth will be sliminess and a weakness will be ethics.
By the way, dickmittens, start paying attention. I've now had two people who I know read this blog regularly say something like, "oh, you're on Twitter?" Yes, idiots. Look at the text bar at the very top of the screen. And then go sign up.
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