MLB Preview: National League

Since I just learned today that baseball starts up for real on Thursday, which seems ridiculously early but is apparently real, I better get going with my baseball previews.  I'll start with the National League today, and go onto the AL tomorrow.  If you want to know who you should target in your fantasy league, feel free to just go ahead and take a gander at the bottom of this post.  That's your championship team, folks.


Once again, you can consider these to be equivalent to clairvoyant looks into the future.  I almost never get anything wrong.



NL EAST

1.  Philadelphia Phillies.  Pretty obvious pick here, but it's always going to be obvious when your first four starters are four guys who would all be the ace on the majority of teams in the entire league.  Of course, these kind of super team things rarely work out, at least in the regular season, and a very old offense has tons of question marks.  Utley is out and nobody knows when he's coming back, Rollins was a nightmare last year, they just gave a fat, old player a monster contract, and perhaps their best all-around offensive player is now on the Nationals.  They'll still win, but they aren't going to dominate.

2.  Florida Marlins.  They've been a scrappy bunch the last several years, and I think this is the year they finally make the leap.  Their rotation of Josh Johnson, Javy Vazquez, Ricky Nolasco, Anibel Sanchez, and Chris Volstad would be the best in many divisions, assuming they stay healthy, and there's enough offense here to keep them in Wild Card contention.  Whatever you think of Hanley Ramirez's attitude issues the guy is an incredible player and gives Florida a huge advantage by having such an offensive powerhouse at such a traditional weak position.  Mike Stanton is an absolute future star.

3.  Atlanta Braves.  Should be a very solid team, and for no particular good reason just as I'm blindly believing in the Marlins' rotation, I'm expecting the Braves to fall apart.  Tim Hudson and Derek Lowe are older than dirt, Tommy Hanson is inconsistent and for Jair Jurrjens inconsistent would be a huge improvement.  And what's to be excited about with the offense other than Jason Heyward, Brian McCann, and Freddie Freeman?  They'll be in the Wild Card running, but I think Bobby Cox being gone is going to take longer to adjust to than you'd think.

4.  New York Mets.  The division between the 3rd team and 4th team in this division is absolutely immense, because the Mets are absolute garbage.  Let's put it this way:  R.A. Dickey will be prominently involved, and he might actually be the second best pitcher on the entire squad behind Mike Pelphrey - and that's not a compliment to Dickey, these guys are brutal.  There's still some minor jump up potential here based on a decent offense with David Wright, breakout candidate Ike Davis, and contract year guy Jose Reyes, plus Jason Bay and Carlos Beltran.  The offense should be ok, but that pitching staff is terrifying.

5.  Washington Nationals.  I wanted to rank them ahead of the Mets because the Mets are terrible, but I just couldn't after looking at what they're rolling out there.  Livan Hernandez is still here, and so is Jon Lannan, Jason Marquis, and they added Tom Gorzelanny as starter #5.  Sweet, that should make all the difference.  There's a decent young base here with closer Drew Storen, starter Jordan Zimmerman, 3B Ryan Zimmerman, SS Ian Desmond, and, of course, SP Stephen Strasburg and minor leaguer Bryce Harper (Brian Harper's son), but with The Stras out until late this year or next this won't be the year they put it all together.


NL CENTRAL

1.   Cincinnati Reds.  Love this team.  Absolutely and completely love them.  Young and talented pitching staff with multiple candidates to breakout (Mike Leake, Johnny Cueto, Travis Wood, Edinson Volquez), the hardest throwing man in all of MLB (Aroldis Chapman), and a young group of position players who are either already stars (Joey Votto), look to be right on the cusp (Jay Bruce, Brandon Phillips), or are still just in the "potential" phase (Drew Stubbs).  They aren't really the type of team who I'd consider a serious World Series contender unless multiple guys on that staff breakout this year, but they'll win this division.

2.  Milwaukee Brewers.  Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery some donk once wrote, and the Brewers are definitely going with the San Francisco Giants model and have assembled a very good rotation.  If Zack Greinke stops getting hurt playing basketball and doesn't end up on the floor in the fetal position every time someone asks him a question he should dominate the NL, and Shaun Marcum should be a poor man's version of the same after coming over from Toronto.  Add in Yovani Gallardo and a pretty good offense and they'll be a very good team, especially if Prince Fielder's contract year becomes PRINCE FIELDER'S CONTRACT YEAR.  And closer John Axford has the sweetest mustache in the league.

3.  St. Louis Cardinals.  Adam Wainwright is so good at throwing a baseball that his injury knocks St. Louis from division favorite to division also-ran.  Any team with Albert Pujols can't be completely counted out, but the rest of the lineup is either old guys on the downslope of their career or David Eckstein clones.  Honestly, I have no idea why a team with David Freese, Skip Schumaker, Ryan Theriot, and Tyler Greene would possibly be interested in signing Nick Punto since all five of these guys are basically clones of each other and they all suck.  Maybe LaRussa's gone all demented and is starting some sort of bizarre collection, and at the all-star break he's going to encase them all in wax and open some sort of Eckstein Wax Museum.  That's be pretty sweet, actually.

4.  Chicago Cubs.   This should be a pretty competitive division, because I can even see the Cubs jumping up and contending at the top if everything goes their way.  It won't, of course, because we're talking the Cubs here and there's an awful lot that would need to go right.  Carlos Zambrano's head has to be on right, Matt Garza has to be able to dominate more often being in the NL, Ryan Dempster has to be good, Carlos Pena needs to bounceback as does Alfonso Soriano as does Aramis Ramirez, and so on.  One thing is for sure, they have a future star at shortstop in Starlin Castro.  Or at least that's what I told myself when we ended up having to draft him as our fantasy shortstop.

5.  Pittsburgh Pirates. Is this the year the Pirates finally turn it around?  Well, if by turn it around you mean don't finish in last then I say yes, although that's more of a testament to the shittiness of the Astros than the improvement of the Pirates.  I mean, you can at least see that they're trying to turn it around:  Neil Walker, Pedro Alvarez, Andrew McCutchen, and Jose Tabata are a nice young core but after that it's very blah - and that's the upside.  Assembling young arms is a good strategy, but someone needs to tell these guys that it really only helps if at least some of them have some talent.

6.  Houston Astros.  Kind of the opposite of Pittsburgh in that the starting pitching is at least ok (Wandy, Bret Myers, JA Happ, and Bud Norris) but the lineup is just brutally brutal.  The middle infield pairing of Clint Barmes and Bill Hall should make you feel better knowing there's actually a worse combo than what the Twins are trotting out there, I've never even heard of their third baseman, and their first basemen is a rookie who was traded three different times before he managed a major league at-bat.  And they still have Carlos Lee, who continues to kill team morale by constantly pawing through teammates' lockers looking for snacks.


NL WEST

1.  San Francisco Giants.  It's hard to believe any team that was so reliant on it's starting staff can repeat, but in this case you have to pick the Giants because 1.  The NL West sucks, 2.  At least one of those pitchers (Madison Bumgarner) is still waiting to breakout, and 3.  there only losses off the roster of "significance" were Juan Uribe and Edgar Renteria.  They might have the worst hitting outfield in history, but they should still be good enough to win this crappy division, especially since they have a rich man's Joe Mauer in Buster Posey.

2.  Colorado Rockies.  I wanted to pick the Rockies to win the division but I just can't.  Troy Tulowitzki is a pimp and Carlos Gonzalez is awesome, but then it's crickets.  Todd Helton is old with the power of Drew Butera but is still starting somehow, Chris Iannetta and Ian Stewart are starting to look like they're "potential" and that's about it, Dexter Fowler is Carlos Gomez with a slightly better batting eye, and Seth Smith should be a pinch hitter.  They also have Ty Wigginton.  Yeah.  The pitching is alright and could probably clean an office building or hotel like nobody's business, but that lineup is just really, really icky.

3.  Los Angeles Dodgers.  These guys have been about as underachieving as the Mets the last few years, and it all starts with Captain Disappointment (that's also what Mrs. W calls me), Matt Kemp, who decided to go from future superstar do everything five tool player to Adam Dunn with less power.  Think about that one. And speaking of less power we can't forget first baseman James Loney, the only 1B in history with less power than Dough Mientkiewicz.  Clay Kershaw is probably a future Cy Young award winner, but behind him is a soft-tossing old man (although he's a lefty) and a Japanese guy who will probably throw his arm out by July.  And also Chad Billingsley, who sucks.  How you can have that much money and fuck up a team should be the next study done by Dateline.  I think we've got all the sex predators by now.

4.  Arizona Diamondbacks.  You could basically flip a coin between Arizona and San Diego right now because both of these teams are equally depressing and shitty.  I'm giving the nod slightly to Arizona because they at least have a few players who could have huge years:  Justin Upton (although I feel like we're saying this every year for the last several), Miguel Montero (not a huge year overall, but at least for a catcher), and Daniel Hudson (if his post-trade results were real).  They also have a middle infield with some pop in Stephen Drew and Kelly Johnson, even if they field as well as Roger Dorn.

5.  San Diego Padres.  The list of exciting players on this team is Mat Latos and Cameron Maybin.  That's the entire list unless you really like nondescript but effective closers who are going to be traded at some point or mediocre-to-poor starting pitchers who were featured in really awesome books.  All I know is a team with zero offense just got rid of the man responsible for about 106% of that offense.  Plus their middle infield combo is Jason Bartlett and Orlando Hudson.  Ouch.    


The last thing I want to mention here is what should/could be considered a national travesty.  Take a look at this picture and guess who this is:

 

No, it's not the female joker (and I don't mean Harley Quinn), no matter how much it may look like it.  It's actually Rose McGowan, formerly the super hot and busty star of Scream and Jawbreaker.  This is what she used to look like:

Why?  Why would you kill that?  Even setting aside her formerly awesome boobs which have suddenly disappeared, check out this side-by-side of her formerly beautiful face:

Good lord, why?  This is the kind of thing that convinces me that the devil actually exists.  I'm actually near tears right now.  I'm going to go cry myself to sleep and probably masturbate.

Six Very Important Things this Morning - 8.3.2010

1.  Jeremy Hellickson had an awfully good debut.  Nice outing for the rookie, even against a Twins lineup that didn't have Morneau or Mauer, but at least had 9 guys who aren't gigantic pussies.  Seriously, has there ever been a team whose two best players missed this many games?  The real M&M boys would be ashamed.  Mickey Mantle drank a fifth of whiskey on a slow night and would regularly knock back enough to kill Nicolas Cage, washed it down with a couple big ole stogies, followed that up with a roll in the hay with some random broad, and then got two hours of sleep before rolling out of bed and going 2-4 with a home run.  And everybody knows Roger Maris was functionally retarded, as is everyone from North Dakota, but he managed to have some of the better seasons of his era (and no, he's not a hall of famer.  Don't be an idiot).  Yet Morneau gets bumped in the head and Mauer is a little sore and they can't be bothered to play despite the team being in the middle of a good ole fashioned pennant race.  Seriously pathetic.  I say they trade them both.  Except for Morneau.

2.  The Big Ten is gonna make bank.  With the Big 10 (11) changing to the Big 10 (12) next season, it also gains a championship game for football.  This is good, because it's an extra game, and it's an extra game between two good teams (at least for the conference, not necessarily nationally - zing), so that means extra money.  I read somewhere else that it would be approximately $5 million more bucks to the already cash-stuffed conference, which will also get a boost from adding Nebraska TV sets.  If you click on the link and read the article there's a bunch more in there, but to be honest I got really bored and then scrolled down and it was way too long to keep reading.

3.  The Reds are loaded with young pitching.  Seriously, this team is going to be a serious NL contender for years with all the young stud arms, the latest example of which is Travis Wood, who tossed 7 innings of 2-hit ball last night, which isn't even his best outing of his seven career starts because he nearly tossed a perfect game in his third career time out, ending up with a one hitter.  With him, Mike Leake (7-2, 3.57 ERA), Johnny Cueto (10-2, 3.32) they already have three guys under 25 who have shown they can do it and they still have Homer Baily (super talented but constantly injured), Edinson Volquez (recovering from injury but awesome when pre-injury), Aroldis Chapman (famous foreigner) and Matt Maloney who has only made two starts but has been solid (3.09 ERA, 1.11 WHIP).  If you want to go deeper they have four other guys on John Sickels' top 20.  I predict them to become a dynasty, but based on my history of predicting they're probably going to become the next Pirates.   

4.  So much for the Smoak monster.  This happened over the weekend, but I didn't get around to mentioning it ever and I figured I should since I've been blowing so much Smoak about him:  Justin Smoak was sent down from Seattle to AAA.  I guess these days a .198 batting average and .624 OPS don't get you anything these days, what with all the politics and all.  Seriously though, he's been successful in the minors, he's just 23 and in his third professional season, and he still shows good plate discipline (39 walks in 340 big league plate appearances).  He'll be fine.  Or he's the next Scott Stahoviak.

5.  So much for that trade.  Carlos Santana, rookie catcher, super stud, future star, the next Joe Mauer but less of a girl, non-guitar player or Rob Thomas collaborator, guy who would lead the Majors in OPS for catchers if he had enough at-bats, and guy I just MOTHER FUCKING TRADED FOR in fantasy baseball on Sunday ended up leaving the Indians' game last night with an apparent leg injury after Ryan Kalish of the Red Sox, who doesn't matter now and will never matter, barreled into him on a play at the plate.  The best part of that article is the end, where they make sure you know that "Television replays showed his left leg buckled."  Awesome.  He was on my team for less than 24 hours.  Wait, no.  I mean this is a terrible blow to baseball and Cleveland and this poor young man's career or something else less selfish.

6.  Is Miami-Dade the new convict U?  I'll assume you are all aware of Trevor Mbakwe and his legal woes, and if you're not I think you're in the wrong place (unless you like crappy SyFy movies, in which case stay tuned)), but his Miami-Dade teammate Darnell Dodson is now in a bit of a pickle at Kentucky.  Well maybe not a pickle, since there doesn't seem to be any definitive information out there, but John Calipari announced that Dodson will not be playing for Kentucky this season, although he seems to be academically ineligible.  Apparently there has been some friction between Calipari and Dodson, so this isn't a huge surprise, but it could hurt the Wildcats since Dodson was their #1 three-point shooter last year.  Of course, since basically the entire team turned pro, we don't really have any idea what their strenghts and weaknesses are next season.  Although I feel comfortable saying a strenth will be sliminess and a weakness will be ethics.


By the way, dickmittens, start paying attention.  I've now had two people who I know read this blog regularly say something like, "oh, you're on Twitter?"  Yes, idiots.  Look at the text bar at the very top of the screen.  And then go sign up.

Week in Review - 7/12/2010

Crap.  Really, really wanted the Twins to get Cliff Lee, but you can't fault them.  The Rangers have one of, if not the, best and deepest minor league systems and they weren't afraid to open up the wallet, so to speak, to get Cliff Lee.

Justin Smoak has a chance to be a future star (although this is a pretty fantastic post from Baseball Time in Arlington explaining why he won't be), Blake Beavan doesn't make any top 100 lists put is a former first round pick who is putting up excellent minor league numbers, and the two "throw-ins" look alright as well.  Josh Lueke looks like a decent relief prospect with a 2.11 ERA in 32 appearances this year between A and AA (and a rape charge on his record to boot), and Matthew Lawson is putting up solid numbers as a second basemen at AA.


This was an offer that I don't think the Twins could have matched, even if they had tried.  And so it's time to look towards plan B, assuming they aren't giving up on the season although they probably should.  There are other options (Dan Haren, Roy Oswalt, Ben Sheets, Ted Lilly, etc.) which I plan to break down later this week.  Maybe.  No promises.

WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  John Danks.  On top of the Twins losing out on Cliff Lee, I'm getting a very, very bad feeling about the White Sox, capped off by Danksy tossing a ridiculous two-hitter against the Angels, which was extremely fortunate because Ervin Santana threw a three hitter at the same time but happened to give up a run.  And they just keep winning like that - they're pitching is completely ridiculous.  Hell, Gavin Floyd was another name considered for the Awesome column thanks to his 15 innings pitched and 2 runs allowed this week.  Their pitching is out of this world good right now, and pitching wins championships as everybody knows.  Even with Peavy now down for the year they're going to fine because the clown they called up to take his place looked just fine and dandy on Sunday.  Do you want to know the last time the Sox gave up five runs or more since June 9th (the beginning of their incredible run)  Five.  The Twins in that same time frame?  19.  I'm calling it now, Sox win the division, Twins finish fourth.

2.  Adam Dunn.  Speaking of the White Sox freaking me out with their looking goodness, I am convinced they are going to end up with Adam Dunn.  The same Adam Dunn who is currently destroying pitchers' arms (and souls).  Well, maybe not consistently doing it, but when he is on he just crushes souls.  Such as on Wednesday when he went 3-4 with three home runs, driving in 5 of the team's 7 runs in a one-run victory of San Diego, or on Friday when he went 3-4 with two home runs and 3 RBI.  Of course, he went 1-9 with seven strikeouts in the three other games this week, but who cares?  The Twins are stuck with guys like Cuddyer who will go 1-9 with seven strikeouts in three games and not even bother giving you a single multi-home run game, let alone two.  I love watching this Big Donkey hit, but I'm going to hate watching him tee off on Baker, Blackburn, and Slowey when he's on the Sox.  Seriously, can you even imagine?

3.  Buster Posey.  If we're talking guys who are tearing the cover off the ball, this guy is absolutely on fire, only it's some kind of fire never been seen before.  He had a hit in every game this week, and games where he went 4-4 with 2 homers and 6 RBI, 4-5 with a double and a home run, 2-4 with a HR (twice), and 1-3 with a triple and 2 RBI.  For the week he hit .566 with those 5 home runs and 14 RBI, and is now at .350/.389/.569 with 7 home runs in just 137 at-bats, and has pretty much single-handedly taken the Giants from a team with good pitching to a team with good pitching and one good hitter (ok, fine, three).  I'm still expecting them to fade as the season continues on, but Posey is fun as hell to watch, either way.  Just think how bad it would suck to have him on your fantasy team and sitting on the bench, like a guy I know. 

4.  Travis Wood.  Because the Reds don't already have enough good, young arms, Wood went out and in his third ever professional start threw 8 perfect innings against the Phillies.  He gave up a double in the ninth to break it up, but ending up getting threw 9 with just 1 hit allowed vs. 8 strikeouts.  Of course, Roy Halladay matched him with 9 shutout innings so he didn't get the win, but even so, quite the nice outing.  So now they have Wood, rookie-of-the-year candidate Mike Leake, coming-into-his-own Johnny Cueto, cuban sensation Aroldis Chapman, impressive in his debut Matt Maloney, stud if he can return from injury Edinson Volquez, and killer stuff if he can figure out how to stay healthy Homer Bailey.  And I would trade any single Twins' pitcher for any one of them.

5.  Steve Stricker.  Yes, I know it was the John Deere Classic and I know nobody cares about that, and I know Stricker was the best player in this week's field by far, but the way he demolished that course was pretty incredible.  Every hole was the same:  middle of the fairway - approach to within 10 feet - make putt, on his way to a 60-66-62-70, which probably would have been even more impressive if he hadn't had a six shot lead into Sunday and gone into coast mode, resulting in tournament total of 26 under par and a 2-shot victory over Paul Goydos, who also played incredibly over the weekend, four shots clear of third place Jeff Maggert, but was just out-incredibled by Stricker.  Normally I'd say play like that would make him a favorite for the next major, but this time the next major is the British Open and all the normal rules of good golf go right out the window.  I do know who is going to win, by the way.  Well, I have it narrowed to two.  Stay tuned.


WHO SUCKED

1.  Twins.  Forget Cliff Lee, maybe it's time to just become sellers?  Pavano could probably bring back a prospect or two from the other teams that missed out on Cliff Lee.  I'm sure somebody would be willing to take on a year and a half of Cuddyer's contract for a stretch run here.  If they don't think J.J. Hardy is the long-term answer he'd probably be tradeable, along with O-Hud.  Jesse Crain might have a little bit of value.  Jim Thome could help somebody out.  There a ton of options, which they should consider because it's obvious this team completely sucks.  There are only three guys on this team who can hit, and one has a headache, one is apparently so immobile he couldn't even fill in at first base for one game, and the other one couldn't run a 20-yard dash in under 5 seconds, let alone a 40.  None of the starters can pitch, the two most important relievers have below average stuff, and the manager is a moron.  God I hate this team so much. 

2.  LA Clippers.  A lot of teams have been clearing cap room with an eye on this offseason for several years, and with the top 3 prizes all picking the Heat, naturally some teams are going to end up disappointed.  The Bulls made a ton of moves with the sole purpose of clearing space, but at least grabbed Carlos Boozer.  The Knicks were obviously hoping for LeBron, but getting Amar'e Stoudamire softens that blow.  The Hawks were maybe the biggest winner, managing to get Joe Johnson to stay with them (Pierce and Nowitzki were never leaving.)  The Nets whiffed big-time, but have responded by signing quality pieces Anthony Morrow, Johan Petro, and Travis Outlaw and still have $19 million left and are looking like a front-runner for Udonis Haslem - not to mention they picked up Derrick Favors already this offseason.  The Clip show, on the other hand, drafted auto-bust Al-Farouq Aminu and then threw $20 million at Randy freakin' Foye and Ryan Gomes.  And then they signed Brian Cook, too, which I'm sure is what will put them over the top.  Look out Lakers. 

3.  Kevin Millwood.  All Millwood had to do was pitch halfway decent this year, wait for the trade deadline to come around, and get traded to a contender of his choosing thanks to his being a free agent next year and a limited no-trade clause in his contract.  Instead, he's completely sucked, racking up an ERA of 5.77 while losing nearly every game he's pitched.  So then he trots out there on Monday against the Tigers, gets destroyed in his one inning of work for four hits and five runs, gets yanked, and then got placed on the disabled list with a "strained forearm."  Yeah, I'm sure that's it.  It has nothing at all to do with the fact that he hasn't pitched a good game since May.  You know what Millwood is perfect for now?  He'd be perfect as the kind of guy the Twins will trade for.

4.  Brandon League.  The only reason I've even heard of this guy is because I heard on the radio that if the Twins had actually offered both Ramos, Hicks, and one of the starters for Cliff Lee, they might ask for League back to help in the bullpen as well.  Ha ha.  Or maybe the real secret was the Mariners wanted to get of League, because this week he gave up as many runs as outs he recorded (5 to 5), including a game against the Royals on Wednesday where he came in with a 3-2 lead in the 8th, walked David DeJesus and Billy Butler, and then gave up a three-run homer to Alberto Callaspo, and then was yanked.  Actually, come to think of it, he'd pretty much fit in perfectly as a Twin.  

5.  John Wall.  I got most of the first quarter of the Wizards' first summer league game against the Warriors, and I saw Wall turn it over four times (he finished the game with 8), including an easy pass to a wide open dude in the corner which he turned unnecessarily into a no-look pass before whipping into the corner with Nuke LaLoosh-like accuracy.  I also saw him take an open 18-footer from straight on which hit all backboard, and a three-pointer which barely grazed front rim.  Not to mention getting called for a foul on the perimeter trying to check noted offensive star Brian Chase (note:  I have no idea who this is).  It's now clear to me that we are heading for a bust of epic proportions here, the likes of which we haven't seen since Ryan Leaf or Dennis Hopson.  I'm talking like, the kind of bust that Stephen Curry would have been if he had been drafted by a team other than Golden State.    


This was an odd week, with lots of worthy people I couldn't find room for in the Awesome section.  So honorable mentions to:

Spain, Cole Hamels, Roy Halladay, Matt Garza, Michael Beasley/David Kahn, Joey Votto, Roy Halladay, Chris Tillman, Devin Ebanks, Derrick Caracter, Diego Forlan, Huston Street, Bronson Arroyo, Johan Santana, Nick Markakis, Magnum Rolle, Madison Bumgarner, Max Scherzer, A-Rod, Lance Stephenson, Roy Oswalt, Stephen Strasburg, and, of course

BIEBER FEVER!

Week in Review - 4/19/2009

I was really hoping to be able to write up how Cory Joseph decided to sign with the Gophers on Saturday since he had said he'd make his decision after the Jordan Brand game, but apparently "after" didn't mean right after like it did for Josh Selby and Doron Lamb, but instead means "eventually."  The good news is that at least he didn't declare for somebody else yet, so the Gophers are still alive.  The latest rumor is that he's already made up his mind and it's been a three team race for quite some time, which probably means it was down to Minnesota, Texas, and Villanova.  I'm still guessing he ends up at Texas, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  The final date to sign is May 19th, so I guess we'll know by then.


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Francisco Liriano.  I'm not ready to go with the whole "he's back" thing or anything, but Thursday's outing against the Gay Sox was a very good sign.  Looking a bit deeper into the numbers, Liriano seems to be closer to the 2006 version of himself than last year's.  After the injury, he was too reliant on his fastball, throwing the pitch over 50% of the time (54% in 2008 and 56% in 2009) compared to 44% in 2006 despite having lost velocity (90.9mph average in 2008 and 91.7 in 2009 compared to 94.7 in 2006).  The good news is he's very close to recapturing his 2006 numbers so far this season.  He has thrown his fastball just 46% of the time and the velocity is back up at 93.6mph on average).  He's also throwing more strikes, with 64% of his pitches going for strikes compared to just 60% last year (and he was at 66% in 2006).  He's also working the change up more often, throwing it 24% of the time, a career high by 4% thus far.  Like I said, I'm not saying he's back, but to be able to thrown 7 shutout innings with 8 Ks and to do it throwing just 96 pitches is huge for Liriano.  Backing it up with the numbers above is a good sign.  Now, his overall K/9 are down, his BB/9 is up, and his BABIP is a fluky low .238 right now so I'm not jumping into the bandwagon with both feet just yet, but things are heading in the right direction.

2.  Chase Utley.  Hey guy.  Small white second-basemen aren't supposed to rake like this, just ask Steve Lombardozzi or Wally Backman.  But instead, Utley just does his own thing and continually hits the ball out of the park, something he did five times this week in six games, including four in his three games against the Nationals.  This guy is just an absolute stud.  If you look at his last five years, and take the worst year he had in each statistic and combined them, he still ends up at .282-22-93.  Those are his worst numbers, and don't forget we''re talking about a second basemen, something that of course means nothing to Dawger who probably thinks Utley is no better than Michael Cuddyer.  That is if Dawger has even heard of Utley.  That guy's knowledge of national league players is on par with my cat.  Oh, and I looked up Utley's height and he's actually 6-1 so he's not really all that small, just seems like it because he's so white.  

3.  Matt Garza.  Two weeks into the season, and two weeks that Garza has made this list.  On Sunday all he did was shut down the Red Sox, giving up no runs and just four hits in 8 innings of work, and that followed up his outing on Monday, where he shut down the Orioles giving up just one run and six hits in 8 more spectacular innings.  That runs his season totals now to 3-0 with a 0.75 ERA and a 0.88 WHIP, and he's struck out more batters than he's allowed hits.  Sigh.  At least Delmon is starting to hit the ball - the numbers might not show it but he's raking the ball, just not getting hits out of it - but I think this trade goes down as a suck no matter what.  Ignoring the peripheral players and just look at the main pieces, Delmon would basically have to end up hitting like Albert Pujols or A-Rod to make this into a fair deal.  Seriously Garza has become a top shelf stud.  He has a fastball that reaches the mid-90s and has a foot of tail, a mid-80s slider that breaks two feet, a killer slow curve and has finally developed that change-up that caused all the drama back in the day.  Plus he has a cute little beard.  Sigh.

4.  Livan Hernandez.  I'm trying to think of things that are less likely than Livan throwing a complete game shutout, which he did on Saturday against the Brewers.  So far all I've come up with is a threesome with Brad Pitt, Rosie O'Donnell, and Roseanne, Al Nolen leading the conference in three point percentage, Colt Iverson hitting a shot from further than 8 feet out, and Snacks becoming a big fan of Mike Cuddyer.  There are a whole lot Brewers who need to be embarrassed.  Not Rickie Weeks though.  That guy is the shit.

5.  Ubaldo Jimenez.  The funny thing about Jimenez tossing a no-hitter on Saturday against the Braves is that my co-worker, Elk, was just telling me about how he was coming around and looking really good this year.  Since Elk has him on his fantasy team, I was pretty sure he was just talking up his own player, like how Gardy tries to keep telling us all that Matt Tolbert is awesome.  Turns out, the guy can sling the pill.  I caught the last inning of the game, and Ubaldo was still hitting 98 on the gun in the 9th.  That's pretty impressive.  So maybe this guy is pretty good.  If only a regular reader and commenter on this blog was a Rockies' season ticket holder, maybe we could get some real insight.  Oh, and you better hope Huston Street comes back quick, because Morales is freakin' terrible.  You can't trust a left-handed closer, everybody knows that.  

(what the holy hell is the point of this stupid thing?)


WHO SUCKED

1.  Jose Mijares.  If there is a dark lining to this silver cloud of a Twins season thus far, it was been the struggles of Jose Mijares to get anybody out, now culminating in a trip to the DL in what I suspect is as much of a "figure this thing out" kind of move as it is an injury move.  Mijares has thrown a total of 3 innings over five appearances, and is allowing nearly three base-runners per inning (6 hits, 2 walks) and currently sports a 6.00 ERA and has struck out just two batters so far this year - not exactly the kind of numbers you want to see from an eighth inning guy.  I don't know if it means anything, but his fastball is down about 1.5 mph compared to last year and he's throwing his changeup about twice as often this year as he used to.  Has he lost something off his fastball and subsequently lost faith in it?  I don't know, but I do hope whatever is going on this little DL trip can fix it, because as much as I like Duensing him and Mahay as the lefties out of the bullpen doesn't fill me with confidence.

2. Jason Marquis.  Hey, remember when the Nationals signed Marquis to a 2-year/$15 million deal this offseason coming off a 15-win season for the Rockies?  And remember how Rockies' fans were like, "take him" and everyone else was kind of like, "whoa, really?  $15 million for Marquis?"  Well, his living up to that this week.  In his two starts this week he managed just 4 and 1/3 innings, allowing thirteen base-runners - every single one of which scored.  Yes, that's 13 earned runs in 4 and 1/3 innings.  His season numbers right now are and 0-3 record with a 20.52 ERA and a 2.88 WHIP.  Yes, and ERA over 20.  He's certainly earning that $7.5 million this year.  My favorite part was when he pitched against the Brewers on Saturday and it went single-single-single-hit by pitch-walk-hit by pitch-single-Marquis yanked.  Quality outing.

3.  Jason Frasor.  You wanted him to be a Twin, which once again proves you don't know what the holy hell you're talking about. You're also probably really impressed that he has three saves, paying little attention to the fact that he's blown two also and is currently rocking a 5.68 ERA, which is already improved from the 6+ number he was carrying at the beginning of the week.  At least the Blue Jays are paying attention, and they've yanked the closer role away from Frasor and given it to the decidedly average Kevin Gregg.  What this all means is that the guy you wanted to the Twins to trade precious prospects for to close games for them was beaten out for the role on a crappy Blue Jay team by a guy who put up an ERA north of 4.70 the last time he was closing games.  Good call, genius.

4.  Cincinnati Reds.  The Reds were so awesome this week they were actually swept by the Pirates, in what was the first Pirate sweep since 1987, or so I assume without looking anything up.  And it wasn't just during that series that the Reds sucked, they've been pretty rough so far this year and sit at 5-8.  Out of their players who qualify for the batting title, Joey Votto is the only one hitting over .250 - Jay Bruce and Drew Stubbs are hitting under .200.  And it's not just the hitters.  Aaron Harang looks to have fallen off the cliff, Johnny Cueto isn't developing, and speaking of not developing Homer Bailey is starting to look like the type of prospect who has all the tools on paper but can't ever pull it together - like David West but with more talent.  They have yet another new little youngster arm in Mike Leake who has looked really good so far, but if the rest of the youngins' don't start playing and stay just "potentially good", it's going to be yet another losing season in Cincy. 

5.  Chef Boyardee.  Can someone please tell me why the Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs has a different sauce than every other Chef Boyardee?  The Ravioli is top notch, and the peripheral spinoffs like Beef-a-roni and Lasagna are basically the same thing, but then you get to the spaghetti and meatballs and it's like WTF, Mr. B?  We shove this at Wonderbaby^TM every so often and she likes most of it (as do I, if we're being honest here - try the mini raviolis, top notch) but we tried the spaghetti the other day and it seriously made her angry, like an old man sending back soup at a deli.  So I tried it, and it was like eating evil.  Why would you use the exact same, deliciously sodium-filled sauce on the majority of your project and then detour into some sort of unholy combination of what I can only assume is fire and brimstone on what should probably be your flagship pasta variation?  For shame.  And did you know there isn't even an actual Chef Boyardee?  So nobody actually has to answer for this abomination.  Except for the sham executives.  You know who you are.  Between this and all the dead hookers, I bet you can't even sleep at night.