Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Week 3 NFL Picks

Last week wasn't brilliant, at 5-10-1. Hopefully this week is a bit better:

Arizona +8 @ Baltimore: This game seems really boring. After a win against Seattle, maybe Arizona is a better than I thought.

Buffalo +16.5 @ New England: The Patriots are one of the two best teams in the NFL. I was clearly wrong about JP Losman and Buffalo this year. Seriously, what an idiot I am. New England could probably pick their final score here, and that's what they'll do. Belicheck likes to use just enough of his playbook to win in this kind of games.

Philly -6.5 vs. Detroit: Philly needs this game in the worst way, and the Lions are only 2-0 due to a very easy early schedule. McNabb should come out firing, trying to silence the imaginary racists who hate him.

Indianapolis -6.5 @ Houston: The Texans (nice name, by the way) are going to be without Andre Johnson, and Ahman Green is banged up as well. Even against that soft Indy defense, Houston will struggle. The close game last week was just because the Colts were playing the Titans, and Indy has an inexplicable ability to blow out Tennessee.

NY Jets -3 vs. Miami: The Dolphins are terrible.

Kansas City -2.5 vs. Minnesota: The Chiefs are terrible as well, but they're at home. Jackson couldn't handle the road game in Detroit, I don't see him playing well in Arrowhead, one of the toughest places to play even when the Chiefs suck ass.

San Diego -5 @ Green Bay: San Diego hasn't looked good yet this season, but they've played the Bears and the Patriots. Now they get to feast on the soft, swiss-cheesey defense of the Pack, who are somehow 2-0. If you have LT in your fantasy league, here comes the 200 yard, 3 TD game you've been looking for.

San Fran +8.5 @ Pittsburgh: Pittsburgh has looked really good this season so far, but San Fran hasn't been to shabby themselves. Can Alex Smith handle the crowd in Pittsburgh? Probably not, but I'm betting on him keeping them close.

St. Louis +3.5 @ Tampa: I don't know what to make of these two teams. Tampa is actually showing some signs of life, after I was pretty sure they were in the bottom three teams in the league with Cleveland and KC. St. Louis has looked like a giant pile of crap so far. I refuse to believe that Tampa is four points better than the Rams, that's just not logical.

Cincinnati +3 @ Seattle:
Last week was a fluky game for the Bengals. Don't look for that to happen too often, although I'm a little scared of their defense right now.

I'm bored and tired so here are all the other picks without the witty commentary:

Oakland -3 vs. Cleveland
Denver -3 vs. Jacksonville
Carolina -4 @ Atlanta
Washington -4 vs. NY Giants
Dallas +3 @ Chicago
New Orleans -4.5 vs. Tennessee

Last Week: 5-10-1
Season to Date: 14-15-3


Laser said...

Detroit +6.5 is a stone cold lead pipe lock! Have you seen Philly play? It is liking watching the Vikings except Andy Reid is fat with a bad stache instead of skinny with a bad stache like Chilly. Both teams have black quarterbacks who can't play. Note to Chunky Soup Guy, I am not a racist (unless you are talking about native americans, then I am), You and T-Job both blow simple as that. Their receivers have less combined talent then the gophers front court. All this adds up to Detroit wins by 2.

WWWWWW if you have any brain cells that are still firing after your week long bender at The Boar's Nest you will pool your money with Boss Hog and take the Lions and the money line in this game.

Side Note- Your JP Losman call was as idiotic as time when the guy who drafts all over hyped rookies claimed Kelly Holcomb was going to blow up in 2004.

Dale Jr. said...

There is nothing raciest about hating squaws. They are lucky we gave them the land we did. We could have treated them like Daunte (best vikes QB since TK) and run them the hell out of town.

Lock of the week is the Panthers-4 vs. Hotlanta. Somebody oughta tie the Falcons up, soke them with urine and electricute their asses. Wheres Vick when you need him.

Andre Ware said...

You guys are so typical of white people. You always hate on the black quarterback. Is it because we are more athletic, smarter, better looking and take all of your white women because you have tiny baby dicks?

Well Look at your crazy cracker quarterbacks. Kerry "Have another Cocktail" Collins, Wade "Wiskey/HGH" Wilson, and Joe "I'm Drunk Enough To Think Susie Kolber Is Hot" Nameth. Ya'll a bunch of screwed up white dudes.

If it were up to me it would be nothing but brothas handling the football. Fact, Crackers only make good offensive linemen.

Treat Donovan and his Chunky Soup loving mom with the respect that they deserve.


JP Losman said...

Don't Stereotype Andre. Surely a guy with the handle "Dale Jr." could be another race then white.

Also, At least Joe Namoth had to get drunk before he thought Suzy "my face looks like fell on a pitchfork repeatedly as a teenager" Kolber. There is a person who will remain nameless that periodically reads this blog who put Suzy on his top 5 hot list and he was stone cold sober? He was white though.

Anonymous said...

Suzy Kolber is hot.