Monday, September 3, 2007

Awesome Football Prediction

So here's a fearless football prediction: FatDale White is going to be an absolute suckhole this year. Seriously, geez look at him. He's so fat. And I know fat.

And also - he's bad. Honestly, it's ridiculous. People (Nissey) are all like, "OMG, he was so awesome in college, I love that guy", but really. You know who esle was good in college - Ron Dayne. You know who else - Ed O'Bannon (that hits Nissey right where it counts.)

And then you're probably all like "But wait WWWWWWWW, he's the starting running back for the Titans, he must be awesome." And I'm all like, "Guess what Morons, look at these sweet stats from the preseason:"

Game 1: 6 rushes, 12 yards
Game 2: DNP - fatness
Game 3: 11-51. That's pretty good, a 4.6 ypc average. But wait. Chris Brown (who had an awesome game that one time against Nebraska, which is irrelevant except that it was awesome) averaged 7.0 yards per carry. I'm no genius (just kidding) but that's way better than FatDale.
Game 4: 15-58. Wow, pretty good again, maybe I'm wrong. Wait, what? Chris Brown averaged 7 ypc once again. Well, he's clearly the better runner. But if I was in a keeper league I'd totally keep FatDale. Good call.

He's not nearly as overrated as Reggie Bush, who would be a sweet WR but is basically Warrick Dunn+, but holy god why do people like FatDale?

I will leave you with this, a little Chris Brown (aka Titans second best RB behind V. Young):



To be fair, here's a FatDale highlight film as well:



I was going to say something else, but I don't remember.

Also, I'm drunk.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Not bad after 18 pitchers of Miller Lite and then white knuckling it home 40 miles through every cop trap in the metro area. You are the blogging maestro. Keep up the good work. I move that you post White vs Brown stats on a weekly basis. I know it sounds like a tedious task but Fatdale will pull his esphoghaus trying to swallow an entire bag or double stuff oreos wrapper and all and miss at least 8 games.

Anonymous said...

You missed a couple people who where awesome in college and then turned into NFL shit piles that would only make a roster run by this Nissan character.

Ryan Leaf (He will be better then Manning)

Troy Davis (the next Barry Sanders)

Mike Williams (Fat enough to make Nissans roster)

The College player list goes on and on. Face it, White is only starting in Tennessee because they have nothing else. That fat tub of shit will either A) eat himself out of the league by 2009 B) Die of heart failure C) Both knees blow out because of the weight he is carrying around. Either way he will be scoring as many fantasy points as W in 2 years. Nissan is the Matt Millen of fantasy football!

LASER said...

F-OFF, Lendale White is the best and you will all wish you never made fun of him.