Saturday, September 22, 2007

Go Cuonzo Martin!

So I'm back from a wedding reception early, I have a six pack of Miller Lite (woo-hoo, party time!) and I figured I might as well live blog the second half of this awesome Purdue/Gopher game. Didn't see much at the wedding, but saw Purdue's second touchdown on that screen pass where nobody got within ten feet of the guy.

Also, listening on the way home I found out the radio broadcast of the game was brought to you by the law firm of Patterson, Thuente, Skaar, and Christensen. Go to them for all your intellectual property needs. I've heard good things, but they'll hire pretty much anybody with a degree.

We already won the Purdue -7.5 first half bet, so we just need Purdue -14 and OVER 71 to cash for a perfect night. It feels good.

9:58pm - Just saw the reply of the Boiler interception for a TD. Nice play by that fat guy. Bad tackle by Weber. Who, by the way, looks like he's about 14.

10:02pm - That is definitely not Melissa Stark or Erin Andrews on the sideline.

10:04pm - This offense is brutal. I don't know if that was a pass or a QB draw, but either way that was a sack.

10:05pm - Nice completion for a first down there against an 8-man zone. There's a little potential there.

10:06 - Nice run by Bennett, and rewarded with the TD as well. Good vision on that long run for the freshman. Right now it's a push. We need Purdue to outscore the Gophers 21-17 from here on.

10:11 - Mmmmm......Hot n Spicy Soy nuts......

10:11 - I'm glad Brewster is confident and comfortable with being down 21 at half because it's happened every week. Not exactly the thing I'd be proud of.

10:12 - They just showed all the big things in Minnesota sports right now and listed: Brewster new coach, Tubby new coach, Garnett traded, and Adrian Peterson doing well for the Vikes. Not a single mention of anything about hockey. Take note, HAL and The Todd.

10:14 - I've never seen anything like this defense. Runs are open for big gains and receivers are wide open. Painter just threw another TD to a wide open receiver in the end zone, and he didn't exactly have to paint the corner to do it. Just ridiculous.

10:18 - And then the Gophers almost mishandle the squib kick and give it back. Which reminds me, I was playing Madden yesterday, and I score with :01 left to take the lead. Squib kick it, and they fumble it around before picking it up and returning it for the winning TD. Cheaters.

10:23 - Gopher offense seems to be finding it's rhythm. We might not have another punt all game. Also, the announcers just called Decker one the most talented receivers in the Big Ten. Maybe we shouldn't get too crazy just yet.

10:25 - Ok, this announcing team needs to go away. After the Decker hyperbole, gopher RB Duane Bennett was down after the play, and the announcer's comment was that he was probably just winded from his last long run. The previous drive. 19 minutes ago.

10:28 - Gopher TD by RB Jay Thomas. Wee.

10:30 - Looks like a concussion for Bennett, probably from that long run he had. His first name is pronounced Dwan, not Duane. Gophers continue to refuse to even come close to covering anybody.

10:32 - Purdue's WR Dorien Bryant is "one of the best slot receivers in the country." I'm going to choose to not believe that.

10:35 - Purdue was just called "Quarterback University." This post is now getting the "idiots" label.

10:36 - TD Purdue. Shocking. We're now just 17 points away from hitting that over.

10:41 - Weber throws a very Cupito-like quick out that was about 15 feet too high. Funny thing is it would have been defensive pass interference but the pass was so bad it was uncatchable. And then he runs about 12 yards for a first down. He's like our very own Vince Young.

10:44 - Weber overthrows an open receiver for a TD. The announcers let us know that he needs to "hone his passing skills." Thanks buddy. This Bennett kid looks pretty good at RB though, and Weber can run the option well.

10:51 - tough call to go for it on 4th and 8 from 10, but Brewster does and Weber comes through with a TD pass to Decker who makes a very nice catch. Maybe he is one of the best receivers in the Big Ten. I should probably learn his first name. I think it's Eric.

10:54 - It's Eric. I totally knew that the whole time.

10:55 - Metrodome scorekeeper had the score as 46-24 instead of 38-24. I like that guy. Also, I saw Arkansas lost today. Good. F that state, why don't you go get more rebel flags, jerks.

10:58 - 34 yard pickup for Purdue. This second half is like that Michigan/Loyola-Marymount basketball game from the NCAA basketball tournament in I think '89.

11:01 - Painter tried to thrown an interception but the D-back has hands like Irse, so no suck luck. Next play, guy wide open underneath for an easy touchdown. If you hate defense, this is like the best game ever to watch. UPDATE: Three beers left. Feeling sad already.

11:07 - another excellent run by Bennett. Where is Pinnix? I might have missed something. Bennett looks like the best gopher runner since G-Russ. Also, apparently Decker is the leading receiver in the Big Ten. Clearly the Gophers throw too much. Or I don't pay attention. Maybe both.

11:09 - Weber picks up about 15 on a very nice draw. If he ever learns to throw the ball he might be pretty good. Like a Ricky Foggie type.

11:11 - Announcer tries to point out that Wheelwright wasn't open, but ends up proving that he actually was. Gopher center snaps it into the backfield, gets picked up by Bennett, and then Purdue grabs Bennett's facemask. So instead of a 15 yard loss and a FG by the Gophers, they get a first down at the three - and TD for Weber. A FG there and no other points all game would have covered both my bets, but there is the Over. Just need Purdue to outscore Minnesota over the next 8:50, or at the very minimum tie them for the push and a 2-0-1 night.

11:17 - Did you know Joe Mauer was an all-state all-everything QB in high school? Thanks ESPN. He really should have stuck with football by the way. That guy is way overrated. He has no chance at 80 RBI next year. We've also just been informed he "followed in the foot steps of Chris Weinke." Yeah, they both went to Cretin and were offered by FSU but chose baseball, but I think their careers are going to end up pretty differently. Weinke was a below average football player, and Mauer is a slightly above average baseball player.

11:22 - Purdue goes for it on fourth down instead of kicking a field goal and doesn't get it as if they know the spread is 14. Very fishy. I demand an investigation. Announcer guy thinks going for it was a good move, so it was clearly a mistake.

11:24 - So Weber basically can't lead the Gophers on a TD drive here with 4:35 remaining. I feel safe. I'm a Gopher fan and all, but clearly, gambling is more important. Since I can't win Purdue -14 without a turnover for a TD, I just can't have the Gophers score and hope for the push. And first down Gophers. Knock this shit off.

11:27 - Weber was just "sacked" but "technically gained a couple of yards." This guy is KILLING me.

11:29 - We've just been told that Vince Young has been a "winner at every level." He coached a Pop Warner team and they won the championship. Seriously. Well, I'm sold. I'm looking to trade Peyton Manning for Vince on my fantasy team. I mean, he's a winner at every level. Also, turnover on downs by the Gophers. Purdue ball at midfield. Some RB needs to break one here.

11:31 - Announcer guy: "Minnesota is not an upper-shelf team in the Big Ten." First thing he's gotten right all night.

11:33 - Purdue punts back to Minnesota with 2:10 left. This is the kind of thing where the Gophers will end up scoring to take a 2-0-1 night down to a 2-1 night. I hate gambling.

I'm just kidding. I love you gambling.

11:34 Well, Weber just threw a ball that should have been picked but wasn't. If that doesn't say I'm going to lose my bet now I don't know what else would.

11:37 - The announcer is talking about Kermit the Frog now. I'm not even listening anymore. I think this guy has maybe just lost it.

11:38 - Purdue pulls out the safety blitz, interesting move with 1:20 left. Didn't really matter, as Weber threw a WR screen at the receivers feet anyway. Also they showed a Gopher cheerleader stepping on a prone, and looking dead, Goldy. I don't know what that's all about, but I support it.

11:40 - 4th and 11, :50 left, and Weber completes a pass to Wheelwright 1 yard past the line of scrimmage. Why? Why does that shit happen? It's just stupid, it makes no sense, and I don't even know if it's coaching or bad on field decisions, but that is just horrible. I know the game is over and it doesn't really matter, but still. That's embarrassing. Game over. 2-0-1 night.

I saw the new Halloween movie. Pretty good flick.


Bogart said...

Suzy Kolber is hot.

Tom said...

you were right that was NOT Suzy or Erin. I bet the BTN even has better looking sideline girls.

Gopher Nation

Steve Wilson said...

A six pack of Miller Lite??? Really? A whole six pack??? Wimp.

WWWWWW said...

You're dumb.