Monday, January 14, 2008

Pepperdine Rocks

Live blog the Pepperdine game? Of course, but first:

1. Georgetown is the suck. If you even consider putting Georgetown in your final four, you should seriously stop watching sports.

2. Kansas is the jesus of basketball. If the NCAA was Conference USA, Kansas would be Memphis.

11:10 - Blog slightly delayed due to crazy pregnant wife wanting to watch Made on MTV. TiVo initiated.

12:19 - Made over. Whitley went from a ballerina to a boxer. She won her first match, and learned a lot about love. And really, isn't that what it's all about?

12:20 - Announcers sucking off Gonzaga already. Also, it seems half the crowd is pro-Zags, but it's at Pepperdine. That's ok, Rico will dunk all over Pargo.

12:21 - Rico not starting. This is some bullshit right here.

12:22 - Remember when Pepperdine was good? That one year with all the guys with afros and the guy named something like Brazza or Barrazza or something and I think they beat Indiana in the tournament? Remember that? That was sweet.

12:23 - I think I watched that Pepperdine/Indiana game at the Bebop in Blaine. How sad is that? Also, I'm plenty drunk right now and have no plans to stop.

12:25 - Worst announcers in history.

12:25 - Rico in for about thirty seconds, and scores, going one-on-three, making the announcer go "whoo hoo hoo" after he breaks Pargo's ankles. So good.

12:27 - Rico steal, and would have been an assist if this was hockey. Speaking of hockey, there was some faggy hockey match on TV at the bar, and a fight broke out, and everybody watching at the bar got an erection. Such a gay sport.

12:28 - Foul on Rico because the ref is a racist.

12:29 - Pepperdine is brutal. No wonder Rico has to try to do everything himself. Just threw a perfect lob, and stupid unathletic guy couldn't go and get it. Followed up by crazy white boy trying to do a turnaround fadeaway in the post, when poor Rico was open in the corner.

12:32 - Pargo can't handle Rico. Fouls him after getting beat.

12:33 - 17-6 Gonzaga. Pepperdine +13.5 looking not awesome here.

12:35 - Pepperdine is literally the worst team I've seen this year. Yikes.

12:38 - Needs more Rico.

12:39 - I forgot to mention that when I was watching the Gopher/Penn State game with $nake and Bogart, we turned $20 into $225 playing pulltabs. So that was pretty sweet.

12:40 - Gonzaga on pace for 136 points. Also, it's the Fargo-Moorhead Acro team at halftime this Sunday against Michigan State, if you're into that sort of thing. Which I am. Not gymnastics as a whole, I mean, I'm straight and everything. I like the ladies, they really rev my engine. I'm just saying the FM Acro team is totally awesome.

12:42 - Steal by Rico. Layup by Rico. Need more Rico.

12:43 - Pepperdine offense: four guys stand around the three point line without really moving, one guy half-heartedly tries to post up. Pepperdine defense: None.

12:46 - So this is funny and sad. Pepperdine plays a total uptempo run run run type of game. But they're the ones leaning over, grabbing their shorts, and all tired and out of shape right now. That's some great coaching there.

12:49 - Rico gets a rebound, goes coast-to-coast, makes a great pass, and it goes off his stupid teammate's hands and out of bounds. Somehow, that's a turnover to Rico. If someone would just get him some decent teammates, we'd have total domination.

12:52 - I'm not completely paying attention anymore, but I believe Pepperdine has gone seventeen minutes without getting a shot off. On the brightside, KFC has brought back the sauceless hot wing, so that's pretty sweet.

12:56- I have no idea who that girl in the picture above is, but the internet told me she attended Pepperdine. I see no need to argue.

12:57 - Halftime score: Gonzaga 50, Pepperdine 27. Here's a summary: Pepperdine turnover, Gonzaga layup, Pepperdine missed shot, Gonzaga wide open three, repeat ad infinitum. Also, Rico is awesome and should play more.

12:59 - Pepperdine has 11 turnovers and 12 made field goals. Also, Georgetown is a shitbox team.

1:00 - Rico is starting the second half, this can only lead to good things. Also, speaking of shitbox teams, I have an excellent Colts picture to use, but not yet. I'm sure I'll put it up at some point next week when I'm in Dallas.

1:01- Wow, Rico slaps the ball away from Bouldin, but the rest of the team is so crappy they can't be bothered to get the loose ball and we have a layup by Gonzaga.

1:03 - I really can't stress this enough: Pepperdine may very well be the worst college basketball team of all time. Last year's Gophers would have beaten them by 20.

1:04 - So some d-bag white guard on Pepp was wide open, completely uncovered, and he missed. Dude, you're white and not tall. Your only skill is shooting. You can't miss that shot. Rico is going to cap you. Except he believes in Jesus and all that. So I guess not. This game is very not exciting. Gonzaga 60, Pepperdine 27.

1:12 - Some tall white dude for Pepperdine just tried to make a layup but hit the bottom of the rim. Like the kind of thing you see the uncoordinated kids, or wrestlers, do in high school gym class.

1:13 - Pepperdine just cut it to thirty with 14:30 left. You read that correctly.

1:17 - Those dicks never give Rico the ball.

1:20 - Rico steal and assist. Clearly the catalyst needed to come back from a thirty point deficit.

1:21 - If you're wondering, the Zags went ahead and let Josh Heytveldt back on teh team. Last year he got booted off the team for dealing drugs, but I'm sure he's learned his lesson so now he's back. Should've shown Courtney James some leniancy.

1:23 - So some idiot Pepperdine guy turns it over, and on the fast break Rico makes an absolutely ridiculously awesome block on a layup. Of course, all the rest of the Pepperdine guys are fat lazy idiots, and a Gonzaga guy just picks it up and lays it in. Poor Rico.

1:24 - Heytveldt doesn't look like a drug-dealer. He looks like a Neo-Nazi.

1:25 - Steal by Tucker. Takes it down and hits the pull-up three. Just sick.

1:34 - Oh, if you're wondering how Mychel Thompson looks, I seriously haven't even noticed him. Since he plays for Pepperdine and isn't named Rico, I'm going to assume he's a giant piece of crap. He's no his dad.

1:44 - Thank god it's over. 90-57 Gonzaga. Rico Tucker = Jesus.


The Todd said...

I've seen that Made...not very good.

I don't know much about basketball but I happened to catch some of the game. When I flipped to it, I thought it was a high school game, that was terrible. Although I was drunk and euphoric after a 389 series at the bowling alley.

WWWWWW said...

I once bowled a 389 in one game.

The Todd said...

Reason #37 why you are my hero.

I wonder what Kim Jong-Il's top score is?