Thursday, January 3, 2008

Illinois sucks

Ok, so I am a complete idiot. I really believed in Illinois, but they clearly don't deserve that love because they are a gigantic crap factory. Also, I'd love to break the game down for you. My plan tonight was to sit home and watch a bunch of basketball and give you all the insightful comments you've come to love, but Theory called me so I went to the bar instead and got hammered. So here's your breakdown: Illinois sucks.

Apparently, the balance I talked about with them really just means "they're all mediocre." Great.

- How does Villanova come into Dumpster arena and be down by fifteen in the second half? They probably saw the arena and got all depressed. What a shit hole.

- Seriously. I knew Villanova was overrated, and Scottie Reynolds is more like Scott Daniels and a big ole waste of space, but how do you lose at Dumpster Arena to Dumpster U? I don't get it. I hear their law school is money though.

- Will "Wheel" Walker just scored. I know one gangster who's very happy right now.

- I hate gambling.

- So I was watching OSU/Illinois at the bar, and these redneck losers were all like "put the TV on the Wild game" and I was all like "F that, I was here first go to hell" so then they left on the basketball game. That was awesome. And then I beat those guys up.

- New poll added over on the right. I'd put it on the left, but I don't know how.

- Stanford getting the calls as if they were UNC. By the way, I mentioned before how UNC was overrated and how they get such home cooking at home. Well, there were a total of 7 fouls called on UNC in their win over Kent State. Not in a half, in the whole freaking game. Give me a break. They're destined to win the championship because it seems it's been dictated by a higher power. Gay.

- SNACKS: Stop betting our money on the bowl games. You're terrible.

- click on the ads over on the right. I want to get rich by doing nothing.

- Did I mention that I'm home from the bar, wife is asleep, and I plan to keep drinking? You should have assumed.

- Here's your preview for the Gopher v. MSU game: They're going to get killed. Tis true. I'd love to watch the game, but that day we're taking a bus to Iowa to the Casino for Snacks' bachelor party. I'm going to assume I'm going to be pretty drunk. And gambling. Beer + gambling = the greatest day ever.

- How can USC/Cal be on zero channels. Dumb.

- Can someone please explain to me how Mbah a Moute is a pro prospect? He has one skill. Jumping. That's it.

- I got my ticket in the mail to the big North Texas/New Orleans matchup. I'm going to be on the N. Texas campus for a work related seminar and they're playing NO, so I figured I might as well go. Can't be worse than Dumpster arena.

- Oh, and the picture has nothing to do with anything, but I figured, hey, why not?

- Hm, turns out, maybe Kansas was pretty good anyway. Missouri too. Perhaps this BCS thing isn't the best way to settle a college football championship, and maybe a playoff is in order. I know I'm probably the first person to suggest this, but somebody had to say it.

- So Theory has decided to kill his blog, Tis a true shame. A much better writer than I.

- Hey The Todd. You are missed. Write something.

- Brook Lopez sounds like the name of a hot chick.

- Whichever Shipp that is for UCLA (Jerren/Jeremy/Josh), he's a solid, solid player.

- I can't ever remember a year when the top four seeds were so obvious: Memphis, UNC, Kansas, and UCLA. Nobody else can touch these teams. I just noticed Wash State is ranked #4. This is, quite seriously, the stupidest thing I've ever seen ever. Even worse than DWG not winning Gopher Nation's best Gopher blog award. You have to be kidding me with this WSU love. Who else? Tennessee? Georgetown? They're good enough to make a serious run in March, but no way in hell are they number 1 seed material. Weird year.

- Awesome. Stanford (aka Gaysford, weak I know, but I hate them and I got nothin') hit a three to pull within 6 with a minute left and they were all happy and excited and forgot to get back on defense and gave up a long pass for a dunk. I hate Stanford and everyone who has ever attended that douchebag factory.

- I bet Robin Lopez hates himself. He's probably a cutter.

- Golf season started today. F Paul Goydos!

- I feel like I should drunkenly rant about something, but I just don't have the energy. So I'll call it a night. Also, Garth Snow is a queer.


The Dead Chick from the Real World said...

Layoff cutters, Asshole!

Theory's blog sucked. I couldn't help but feel like he was blatantly trying to imitate Larry David or Jerry Seinfeld. In actuality he just came off as someone who steals his material from bad comedians.

The Todd said...

Did a Real World chick really die? Who?

Ouch. Theory, I loved your blog. Keep it going. I got a new post for you....It pisses me off when I'm in the middle of a wank session and my internet shits out on me.

WWWW, looking forward to my last day on earth with you tomorrow. Gambling+Beer+Burger King = The Greatest Day Ever. I hope we are getting hookers at some point too.

Does anyone know how much Mangino weighs? Good god, that can't be healthy.

I got nothin and am in dire need of a beer.

Theory said...

Thanks, Todd. I hate to say it, is time to retire my blog. It's been fun, but I'm running out of stuff to blog about!
By the way, great idea for a post. I laughed out loud when I read that.
Also, yeah...Mangino needs to hit the Slim Fast.

snacks said...

Todd, you are hilarious sometimes. Also, try and stay sober enough that you can at least be allowed into the casino when we get there tomorrow.

The Todd said...

That is my number one goal, all for you buddy.

Snake said...

WWWWWW, where is the Mangino picture with the orange bowl mascot?