Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Torii Hunter is Going to Jail

Ok, not really. But he did violate a rule that could have earned him a minimum of a three year suspension.

According to ESPN.com, Hunter sent the Kansas City Royals four bottles of Dom Perignon to congratulate and thank them for their sweep of the Detroit Tigers last September, which allowed the Twins to catch and pass them for the Central Division title. Which it turned out didn't really matter because the Twins sucked against the A's in the playoffs (see above picture.)

There is a little known rule which has a lot of blah blah blah in it, but basically boils down to the fact that you can't give a gift to another team for beating or attempting to beat another team, with the punishment being ".....declared ineligible for not less than three years."

The Twins contacted the Royals, who are returning the bottles unopened, so it appears Toriiiiii has escaped punishment. When reached for comment, Hunter said, "You know, the real crime here is that I'm paid as much as I am, when I'm a mediocre hitter and an overrated fielder. It's nice to know the fans out there, like WWWWWW's mom, are blinded by the fact that I've robbed a few homeruns and have a nice smile, so Terry Ryan has to keep me around to keep the rubes happy."


Theory said...

Holy crap, Torii actually said that?!

Anonymous said...

I am really looking forward to future uses of the "Champagne" label. My guess is that the "Pac Man Jones" label will also be used on that future blog entry.